Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P18 184B Tafsir Al-Nur 58-60
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the concept of puberty and how children should be aware of it when seeing something like it. They emphasize the importance of privacy and privacy for healthy environments, as children need to be given space to their behavior. The speakers also touch on the topic of menopause and the use of "has" and "has" to describe men, and emphasize the need for people to maintain physical distance from others during difficult situations. They also emphasize the importance of being mindful of others' behavior and not just the sake of everyone.
AI: Summary ©
Lesson number 184. So to know we will begin from either number 58 Yeah or you have Lavina Amma no or you who have believed liest then come Lee should yes then come he should seek permission from you notice the letter lamb at the beginning with a casserole
sometimes you see the letter lamb at the beginning of a word with the sukoon on it. So, for example, well yes third fifth well yes third fifth, what does lamb mean over there? He should write this lamb is known as the Lamb of Omer, what is
a command all right and order. So, if there is a well before that, then the lamb takes a sukoon so while Lea start fifth, all right, fairly Aktobe if there is a file also, it will take a sukoon fairly Aktobe alright, but when there is no have outs before it like over here, then what happens to the lamb it takes a casserole All right. So over here lead does not mean for what does it mean? Should so Yeah, are you Halina? Ama No, all you who have believed Leah's, then come he must, he should take permission from you, who should take permission from you a Lavina Melaka Amen accom those whom your right hands possess and who is that slaves so your RB your ima, whether they're male
or female, old or young, regardless of their age, their gender, they must seek permission from you. Who else should seek permission from you? When Levina and those people who learn not year below who they reach meaning they have not yet reached an Hunnam puberty men come among you, meaning those among you, meaning those three people among you, who have not yet reached the age of Hello? What is Hello? Puberty is from the root letters have lamb mean? Why is puberty called How long because it's from the word *? What does health mean? Tolerance, right? Halem is basically the ability to control your anger at a time when you're angry. All right, the ability to control your emotions. Now
what happens little children if they get upset? What will they do in the middle of the store?
A tantrum right? What will they do when they want a candy? What will they do? They will start screaming and begging isn't it's all and it's embarrassing for the parents come on quiet not here, isn't it? They start whining they start complaining they start fussing why? Because they don't have him. However, once a child reaches the age of puberty, then what happens? They develop this realization that I should not be throwing a tantrum like this. I should control my emotions. I should communicate my feelings I should use words. Right? So this is why puberty is called Hello. Another reason why puberty is called her long is because it's from the word Yeti lamb What does
etilaam mean? Remember it and sort of use have we learned about a blah through a lamb?
That the King when he had his dreams, he was told these are just confused, mixed up meaning less dreams or Hallum are what dreams and if the lamb is used for a *. All right. So this is why if your party's called Hello because it is the age when a person's you could say sexual desires active and a boy especially you can have wet dreams in the night. So when Medina lamea blowhole Hello, those who have not yet reached the age of puberty for girls, what is the age of puberty? What is the sign that puberty has begun? menstruation? It is not age 10? It is not age 11 or 12 or 13? Or 14? What is it? menstruation. So if a girl begins her menstruation at the age of seven, at the age
of nine, what is she? What is she? She is going to be treated like an adult.
All right.
And this is why it's necessary. This is by the way, a side point. But it's necessary that as children are nearing this age, they should be informed about it. They should be informed about it. That if you do see something like this, then this is what it means. So they're not caught off guard. Right? Or sometimes what happens is the children they hear these things from their friends from their older siblings and they're talking about it and they have this weird understanding weird concept of what it is what it is not. A girl should know that once I see this once I see blood that means that I have reached the age of puberty. You know, we learn that when the Prophet sallallahu
Sallam he was once returning from a journey, right? And there were these women who were accompanying him also
because it was a huge group of companions, so women were also there and there was a little girl.
And she said, on the camel of the Prophet sallallahu, already, he was alone. The journey was long. It was hard however it was. Now that girl she said, I'm sitting on the candle of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, we stopped somewhere, I'm about to get off and I see blood.
And she just sat there, she refused to get off. And the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, Get off, you know, the little girl. And he said, Come on, get off. Everybody's off. Now. You can imagine how how the prophets of Allah said and was as a leader, that he let a little girl write his candle. All right. Now this girl is refusing to get off and she started crying eventually, and she was sobbing. And then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam asked that what is the matter? And then when he realized that perhaps it's something of this nature, and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam left her and he told her what she should do,
what she should do. Now, the thing is that these things can happen. They can happen. A girl should know. I heard the story in the Sierra that was taught by Chef Yasir qadhi. I'm not making it up. Okay. I didn't hear it from a random person. This was stalked by Chef Yasir qadhi. All right. So this is in Shaolin authentic story. But what we learned from this is that Herlong can begin at any point in time, right? In a journey at home at school, and children should be aware of what to do. Otherwise, it could be very stressful for them. Unfortunately, these things are not discussed at home and children are left to figure everything out. And how do they figure it out? The computer has
taken the place off parents now.
So anyway, over here, Allah subhanaw taala says that
two people, which two people, slaves, servants, and secondly, who children, those who have not yet reached the age of puberty, who are the children, right? And also for boys, what's the sign of puberty to change in voice or their mustache on their face? Sometimes they don't get the mustache, they don't get facial hair. Right? So the change in voice, the change in their body size? All right, that is all a sign off puberty. So as long as they're children, there's one rule that they have to follow. All right. Now, you notice over here, that who is being addressed, the parents are being addressed? All right, the adults are being addressed. The Masters are being addressed, that your
slaves and your children must follow this rule. Why aren't the children addressed directly? Because they're not going to know? Right? And when the parents are addressed, what does this show that it is the parents responsibility to teach the children this etiquette?
You understand? It is the parents responsibility, it is their duty to teach them the etiquette that is given in this idea. And if the children do not observe it, if they never learned it, then whose fault is it? It's the fault of the adults it's the fault of the parents. So what is the etiquette? Allah says that they must seek permission least then come? When is it that they should seek permission and of course over here we learned about SD LAN earlier, what it means is taking permission before entering right so they should seek permission at Salah sama rot. Celeste, three Murat times Murad floral of Mara, they must seek your permission at three times. Which three times
are those first of all men godly before Salah till fudged the fajr prayer before the fajr prayer. So basically it is nighttime, right? So if an eight year old boy wishes to go into his parents room, what is he supposed to do? Walk in? Walk in? No, he should be taught by the parents that when you need to come in my room you have to knock least then come. So what's the first time men publish volatile Fajr? Secondly, we're Hina and at the time when tilde Runa. You put off from the root letters well blogs are in Woba to put off to remove at the time when you remove the Abba comb your clothes. Pheobe is a plural off soap. Why would a person take off his clothes men have Mahira what's
the reason given over here? Men because of a hero. Lahiya what word comes to your mind when you hear this word we'll hear it'll load right? LOD is what time off midday? And le here is the time of noon. All right, the time when the sun is up the highest point that the sun goes right. And when the sun is up at that point, what happens? Is it hot or is it cold? It's generally hot. And if you're in the desert, it's more hot, right? So we're here is the time when people will take a nap.
up, this is the time of pallulah, the time of afternoon nap. So because of the extreme heat, what people would do is that they would remove their clothes when resting, not entirely, maybe partially, you understand? Not entirely but partially, or, for instance, if they're lying down, they wouldn't take a blanket on top. This doesn't mean that they're lying down like this in the middle of nowhere, right out in the open nor in their bedroom, in their house. So if the children need to come in at this time, or if the servants the slaves need to come in, what is the etiquette being given over here that they must seek permission. So if a 10 year old boy who has not yet reached the age of
puberty, he needs to go into his parents room? At this time at the time of afternoon nap? What is he supposed to do? seek permission, he shouldn't just barge in the third time women and from meaning at bar the after solitary Russia, their Isha prayer meeting after their Isha prayer has been performed, then everybody's gone to bed lights are off doors are closed, then what does it mean? If a six year old, eight year old seven year old needs to go into his parents room? What is he going to do? He has to seek permission. Now these three times Allah says they are a third. So three, I will draw tillikum I will not Florida I will run from the root letters I unwell Ra, what is all embarrassment.
So I will is that which should not be shown. Because if it is shown, then it is a cause of embarrassment for a person. So I will also over here refers to the times of privacy. Allah says these three times are times of privacy lecan For you, for who?
For parents, for couples for husband and wife. For adults, this is a time of privacy. Now, what do we see over here? We learned about the etiquette of estate plan earlier in the Surah. Right now, this is tells us that is the than should be observed within the house also. All right, especially at these times of privacy. And this must be observed by who little children. You understand. When it comes to adults. When it comes to adults, those who have reached the age of puberty, who are past the age of puberty for them. What was the rule that we learned earlier? Anytime they wish to enter into somebody's private space, whether it's a bedroom, or it is a house? What is it that we need to
do seek permission? And we discussed over there that even if a person wishes to go to his mother's room, for instance, what is he supposed to do? seek permission before entering? Right. So that is with regards to adults. This is talks about who children when I was studying this ayah this morning, I was thinking my son five year old that means you shouldn't learn about this. He should learn about this, right? And this means that this etiquette must be taught from a very young age, from the very beginning, that children with age they must learn the concept of privacy, their own privacy, and also the privacy of other people that my body is private, right? It's a private matter. I shouldn't
let anybody just touch it. I shouldn't let anybody just uncovered me. Right? And also respecting other people's privacy. So this hokum is for children, that are these three times especially they must not come without permission. Lace are Aleikum. Then Allah says laser Aleikum there is not on you, while I lay him nor upon them do not have any sin barred the Hoonah after them after what after these three times, meaning beyond these three times, it's permissible for them to come in and go without permission. All right. So for example, at five o'clock in the evening, all right. The mother is not resting father is not resting. The child wants to go into the mother's room, can they go? Do
they need permission every time? No, they don't need permission every time they can go in. And this is about two little children. We're not talking about adults. All right, we discussed the adults earlier. This is about little children. The love for gnarly control iPhone is a plural of the word from the root letters for welfare. What word comes to your mind? Throw up what is the love going around the Kaaba. So Allah says that these children or servants in your house who are there though our phone Aleykum they're constantly going around, all right, they're continually circulating among you. Because this is what kids do in and out in and out all day long. Right running from one room to
the other. So thought why Fonar Aleikum, bother calm some of you are about over others. Meaning sometimes they come to you and sometimes you go to them. This is something normal this
Something that happens in the house. Gallica you begin hola hola como is Deus does Allah clarify to you the verses the commands will LA who are Lehmann, Hakeem and Allah is Knowing and wise. And if he has given this command, then this command is for our own good. Now, to summarize, what we learned in this is, first of all this hokum is for children who has to teach them, the adults, this hokum also applies to slaves, and who has to teach them, the Masters right. Now, if the house is one bedroom, one bedroom, like a small apartment kind of thing, a small house, like there were long time ago, even now, there are many houses like that one bedroom, all right, that is where they sleep, that is
where they eat. That is where they cook, everything is done in one bedroom.
And at these three times, if the children or the slaves happen to be outside, then before they come into the house, what do they need to do? They need to seek permission? And if if the House has multiple bedrooms, and the parents are in their room, the doors closed at these three times, then again, what do they need to do before coming in? They need to take permission. Now, what do we learn here, that the privacy that is for the husband and wife that is for a couple is respected, so much, that Allah subhanaw taala, is having the adults teach children even do not invade the privacy of the parents. Why? Because the thing is that regardless of how busy and chaotic a person's life may be,
they need time with their spouse, they need time with their spouse, it is essential. It is essential for a healthy relationship. And it's also essential for healthy atmosphere within the house. Because it's possible that outside the room, all right, the wife, for example, constantly working, working, working, all right, or the Husband is outside the house, when he comes in one thing after the other or he's on the phone, or some guests come in or their relatives. Now, it's difficult to even carry a conversation in this atmosphere. But if the husband and wife have not connected if they have not communicated with each other, if they have not had a conversation with one another, then what's
going to happen? misunderstanding, each is frustrated and angry with the other he's too busy for me, she's too busy for me, right? Then what happens? misunderstanding, miscommunication? Fights, problems, arguments, and if the husband and wife are not together, then what's going to happen to the rest of the family? Think about what's going to happen to the rest of the family. So these three times the times of privacy that are for the husband and wife, they're so important that Allah subhanaw taala is revealing a law concerning it a hukum concerning now sometimes what happens is that, okay, the circumstances are such that, you know, it's such a busy, hectic schedule, that it's
difficult to have a conversation with the husband, for example. But sometimes what women do is that they preoccupy themselves with so many things that they neglect the husband. So for example, if there's a little child, all right, little children, a woman is with the children all the time, all the time, all the time, and the poor husband, he's just sitting there desperately Can I please talk to you? Can I please have a word with you? Oh, no, no, I'm busy, I have to change the diaper. And I have to go watch the baby. And I have to go cook the food and I have to go clean up and I have to nurse the baby and this and that. And this and that one after the other and the husband is
neglected, he is neglected. And this is a fact it happens. So regardless of how busy and chaotic your life is, if Allah is telling people to give space to the husband and wife, than should the husband and wife not give time to each other also, at these three times, should they not reconnect with each other at these times? Is this not essential for a healthy relationship? It's very, very important. Now we also see that when these three times have been specified as the times of privacy, what does that mean? That what goes on in this privacy is not okay to be shown or to be displayed in front of little children or in front of other people. Right? At other times, meaning there are
certain things which are between the husband and wife that should be done in privacy. For example, if a woman is dressed up in a particular way, she shouldn't be dressed up like that all the time in front of the whole family. You understand? Or for instance, if there is sitting together, if there's any act of affection, you could say that should not be done in the open. Because Allah has specified these three times. These three times means that in these three times you do what you want, but beyond these three times when other people around them do not make a public display of affection. You understand why why
And by the way, I don't mean by that they don't even sit next to each other, right? Or don't even talk to each other, or don't even look at each other because we've gone to another extreme right that the husband and wife, they have to act like complete strangers. No, you don't have to do that. However, we see that what goes on in privacy should not be done in public, it's not okay that that is shown to children, something like that is done in front of children in the house, or whether they are being shown these things through the box through the television, or somewhere out in a store. It's not correct, it's not appropriate, why to preserve the innocence of children preserve their
innocence, preserve their mind, because if they are exposed to these things, at such an early age, they do not have the ability to process that information. They don't know what is okay and what is not okay, it leads to many perversions also. So, what do we learn from this etiquette, that times of privacy have been given, and that means that these times must be first of all respected, they must be accommodated, no matter how busy we are. And also this means that what goes on in this privacy should not be displayed in public, whether it is in the form of action or clothing, conversation, whatever it may be, it should not be done in public. Then Allah says what either and when bellava He
has reached out follow the children, meaning when the children have reached a file is a plural of playful. So when the children have reached with children, men come from you, what have they reached alone puberty, so, the previous I was about before puberty.
Now, what about once they have reached puberty? Then what then finally is that they know that they must seek permission, come on, just as is then a he sought permission, who used to seek permission and letting Him and cobbling him. Those before them, meaning the adults, those who are older than them. They should seek permission just like them, Kedah. Lika Ubu Allahu La comme iOttie Thus does Allah clarify to you his verses were Allah who aren't even Hakeem and Allah is Knowing and wise. So, what does this mean that that once they have reached puberty, then they must need permission every time they every time they enter. So when a teenager boy is going to his house, his mother is there
his sister is there, before he unlocked the door and his barges and what should he do? Is there lamb? Remember make his presence known golf salaam out loud, right? Or do the usual key shaking or something, so that the sister knows my brother is here?
You understand? So they should seek permission just like those before them used to seek permission, meaning now they should be like adults. And this is what we learned earlier. Yeah. Are you Alladhina Amendola, Tolbooth. Hon yo, tickle Hatta, Destiny. So what to sell Lemo earlier. Now what do we learn from this? We see that the place of women? What is it? What is it? The place of women generally? What is it where they're free? It's their house? It's the house that live in because when they go outside, we learned that they have to cover their Xena, isn't it? So that means they have to cover their head. Now, if you're wearing your hijab from morning until night, have you ever
experienced that? Many times, probably because you go to school in the morning and you come late at night, right? What happens by the time you get home, you want to throw your hijab away, right? Massage your head or something, isn't it? And just lighting your clothing, you want to do that. But if a woman does not even have privacy in the house, is that fair to her? It's not fair to her. So this is why the men are being taught that it doesn't matter whether you are the brother or the son, it doesn't matter who you are, when you go to the house where there are women besides your wife, or other than your wife, then you have to take permission before you enter. It doesn't mean you have to
seek permission permission like man I enter. But there's different ways. And we learned about that sometimes, depending on who the person is, it could be just is their lamb, right making their presence known. And in other situations, it could be literally seeking permission. So we see that all the males of the family they are taught that they should observe estate and before entering the house. So whether it is the daughter in law or the sister in law, whoever it may be, she's able to cover herself before the meal relative comes in. All right. So this was with regards to estate then. Now the next idea is about hijab. All right. Some clarifications about St. Dan. Now some more
clarifications about hijab. So while Kaveri do and the women are worried there's a plural of our ADA. All right.
or carried rather it's the plural of car and car it literally means one who is sitting cough Arendelle Kuru does to sit. So kawaii refers to those women who are just sitting. What does it mean? Which woman sits most of the time?
Someone who is old, someone who has some health problem, right? You see up to a certain age what happens? People are social. They go for groceries, they go to other people's houses, they go out for a walk. But then what happens eventually they reach a point where even going outside stepping outside the house is a huge challenge. They cannot go outside the house even hardly ever they step out of the house. So you're talking about a woman who is extremely old. So I'll Killary Domina Nisa among the women those who are kawaii, meaning extremely old, whose movement whose activities are reduced they're mainly stationed at home allottee those who plural of allottee ly Euro Juna Nikka
Han, they do not expect Nikka they do not hope for Nica, what does Nica mean? Marriage? All right. So, for example, a woman is a widow. All right, she doesn't have a husband. Right? Now what happens? She's extremely old. And she's reached a point where she hardly goes outside the house. And she does not even think about marriage. You understand? Because up to a certain point, people suggest maybe you should think about getting married, or a woman thinks herself, but now she's reached a point where marriage is not even an option. Why? Because all she can think about is her medications, her food, her sleep, right? Her shower, her appointments. That's all she can think about. That's all
what her life mainly revolves around so Loudoun, Annika, Han,
remember that the word nigger has used in two ways. One is up all right, meaning the marriage contract and the other is sexual *. So lie on June Annika meaning this woman she has no sexual need urge at all. She's passed that stage She's completely over it. So such women Allah says fillet Sally hindered you know her there is no sin on them. Um that yellow bar now they put down your Donna again from the root letters while.or. What are there is no sin on them if they put down meaning if the take off the bow Hoonah see AB is a plural off. So their clothing no clothes over here does not mean the clothes that they're wearing. Doesn't mean that they're allowed to be naked.
No. Now the below what this means is theme over here refers to their outer garments. outer garment, what is the outer garment? What is the outer garment? So for example, a huge trimmer, right, a huge hijab that is worn as a shawl to cover the head, the neck, the clothes, all right, or it could even be an Avaya. All right, niqab. All of these things are outer garments. So a woman has been wearing this for example, all her life. And now she's reached a point where even putting a hijab on her head is difficult for her. She can barely change her clothes for her to put an a bio on before going somewhere. She's wheelchair bound. It's very difficult on her. So Allah says there is no harm on her
if she takes that off. However, there is a condition and what is that condition? Leila not moudaber rejet in one's displaying the Xena adornment, they should not be displaying adornment. The word with a battery jet is the plural of motor by region and with a virgin is a woman who does tuber Raj. The woman who does the barrage what is the roots the borrows from the rulers, bow regime. And Burj? Have you heard of the word voltage? What does that remind you of voltage? Khalifa? Right. What is Bucha? A tower? Now a tower? Is it visible from far?
Does it stand out? Of course it does from far you can see it isn't that so? Like for example the CN Tower you can see from Mississauga even isn't it? Why because it's so huge. So debone Raj is basically the display of adornment of beautification. Why because this display of beautification, what does it do?
What does it do? Does it make a woman stand out? Yeah. Does it highlight her does it make her presence known and obvious somewhere or not just presence but rather her attraction, her beautification, I mean it becomes attracted.
All right, now BlueJ is used for stars also. All right. Now if for example on your clothes, you have those small stars, you know those diamond tees right on your
bios, sometimes you have it. So what happens from far you move your arm. And what happens from far somebody can notice it. This is the verge. This is displaying adornment. You understand flashing us? That's basically what it is flashing us being flashy. And how is it that people women become fleshy either through bright colors, or contrasting patterns, or color on their face, or you could say, you know, hair or whatever it may be adorning oneself up, you know when a woman is decked out.
So over here it is said that these women, these are old women also because Allah knows the nature of women, right? That even though she will be so old, that you'll barely be able to walk, but she has to wear her necklace. And she has to wear her earrings. And she has her jewelry and her nice clothes, and everything. Isn't that the case? Be even old, old women? What do they have hanging in their closets? fancy clothes that they haven't worn for 20 years, but they still have them because they might want to wear them? Right? Because it's in the nature of women, despite our age, little, middle, or old. Doesn't matter what age we are at. It's in our nature to dress up. single, married
doesn't matter. We want to dress up. Right? So over here, Allah says the touch extremely old women, they may take off their hijab right there jilbab. However, they should not be displaying Xena
that that old woman on the wheelchair should not say Oh, I don't have to wear hijab. So I'll take my hijab off, get my hair all nicely colored. Right, get my makeup done and wear my nice jewelry and nice clothes. This is not permissible for her. Go ahead.
Okay, the question is that, is this the point of menopause? Like if a woman has reached menopause or right after it? No, because it's possible that a woman is in her 60s. But she's still very beautiful. And she's attractive. Right? She's not of those women who are like junonia Gohan. You understand? This is about a woman who is of the cooperate, cooperate the zoo, just sitting? Just sitting. You see, like an old age home? When people are there people who are living over there, what are they like what kind of social life they have, they hardly have a social life. Right? So this is talking about extremely old women. Now, this idea, it permits such women to remove their hijab. All
right. However, it does not allow them to start hugging non Muslim men, or start touching them or shaking hands with them. Because unfortunately, this is something that is quite common in our cultures. That a woman who has a few gray hairs, she thinks that she's now old, right? Even though she's wearing full makeup. And then when she sees a man, I mean, even if he's 18 years old, or 20 years old, or 22 years old, he's still non Muharram. Right? And he's a non Maha man. But what will she do get up and will congratulate him because he got married and give him a big hug. So happy for you and the poor guy with the beard. He's so embarrassed, what just happened? Right, but she treats
him like a grandson. And so she thinks well, I'm old. It's okay for me to hug him. No, it's not okay for you to hug him. It's not okay for you to shake hands with him. It's not okay. The only allowance that is given over here is remove what the outer garment if that is difficult for a woman to wear. And that to Allah says we're on and that yes, they are pfiffner they refrain?
If they refrain refrain from what removing their outer garment that is heighten the one that is better for them. It is best for them. Why? Why is it best for them? Because when a person has started a good deed, any good deed, small or big, he or she should remain consistent until they die until they die. They should be consistent with it. You see even irmo de la noir and who when he was very young, right? He was a teenager. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him Do not fast everyday he said I can do it but the prophets of Allah Islam, the maximum that he allowed him was okay fast every other day. All right. Now, even Irma, he used to fast every other day. So one day he
would fast one day break and the next day he would fast throughout the year. Okay, because he said, I have the capacity. I'm young, I can do it. And he did it. And he continued, and in his old age, you would say I wish I had taken the prophets of Allah sounds advice, because he discouraged me from fasting even so often because now it's becoming difficult for me.
But you notice that even Irma did not stop even in that old age. Why? Why did he not stop because he started it. So once we start something, it is bad.
to die with that, you understand, not to stop in the middle not to discontinue in the middle. But it doesn't mean that if a person is in great discomfort and hardship, he should still not stop. No. Over here we see an allowance is being given to women. If it's extremely difficult for them to continue wearing the outer garment, they may take it off. All right, my grandmother, everybody tells her that
it's okay. You can take your bike off. You know, I've seen many people saying that to her, you can take her by off, it's okay. Because when she comes here, even then she keeps her by on and she covers her face. Alright, so people tell her take your niqab off. It's okay. No big deal. But she's like no way. She refuses, absolutely refuses. And many times when she comes here and we have to go somewhere because she's had both her knees replaced that she has difficulty walking so many times on longer trips or anytime we're out for long we have a wheelchair for her, but still she refuses to remove her niqab. She's like I'm not gonna take it off. Alright, may Allah subhanaw taala give her
two feet to continue with it and make it easy for her. Because any good deed that we start, it's best to continue it. What are your star pfiffner If they refrain highroller Han Wallah who Samira and our Lehmann Allah is Hearing annoying
look at these names Oh ALLAH that I mentioned here. Allah hears and he knows what does he hear what people say it's okay take it off no big deal and Allah knows your ability your situation what you're able to do and what you're not able to do
now let's listen to the recitation of these verses
a human
being who will lead you in a manner that a man or
a woman comes
or
gobbly Salah virginity walking
Do you want me
to
laser
oh oh now
Can you can you been long enough
will long honeymoon country or either
don't mean to move to Luma and yester vino cameras.
I mean
you came along from
one long run Loralee Moon Kochi while you
miss
Tina, Joan Anika
Jonah fillet as
long as he
remains to
be seen as duck fish not boy you
will lols me
I have a question for you. If extremely old women who are co opted they're not allowed to do tuber Raj display their adornment highlight their adornment be flashy with the clothes that they wear, then do you think it's permissible for younger women? Who do yoga Jun Annika Han?
Would it be permissible for them? No. So this is shows that if it is permissible for older women to take their hijab off, then for younger women, it's not allowed to take their hijab off. If older women, even when they do take their hijab off, they're not allowed to do the barrage, then younger women are not allowed to do the Baldrige at all.
Any question about this?
Okay, children, little children, if they're outside, they're playing outside, they want to come in the house. If they're coming in outside of these three times, they don't need permission. All right. However, if in these three times they're coming into a house, that is one bedroom, and the Mother, the Father are alone inside, then they have to take permission or if they're coming into their parents bedroom, then again, they will need permission. All right. Now, again, if the doors are open, five people are sitting inside, then of course no permission isn't
But even if it is at the time of the healer, you understand. But if the door is closed, and only the Father is inside, or the father and mother are inside, then it's not okay. All right.
Okay, go ahead.
The question is that if an old gentleman wishes to, you know, pass their hand over your head or something like that, or shake hands with you, then what do you do in that situation? Because if it's not okay for older women, to touch younger men, then it's not okay for older men to touch younger women. Right? That physical contact should not be there. So how do you avoid that?
Without being disrespectful? How do you do that? First of all, stay as far as possible. Okay, don't be too comfy, and sit next to them or go very close to them. All right, maintain a distance. And it's possible that despite your maintaining distance, and your best efforts to keep yourself away, they don't understand and they still reach out in the pasture hand over you. Now, it happens. All right. And may Allah forgive us and forgive them. But then you have to do something, you have to do something about it, that if a person is not getting it, either talk to their wife, alright, or talk to your husband, or talk to your father or somebody to communicate that for you. I remember I was in
a situation that was like this very similar to this. And 100, Allah, my sister in law, may Allah reward her, she just came in the middle, you know, she just came in the middle, because somebody extended their handout in order to shake their hand with me. And they were almost reaching out, and I'm covering my face, by the way, they're almost reaching out to hug me. And I'm like La La, La Quwata, Illa, what are you supposed to do, and I'll handle it, my sister in law, she just stepped in the middle. And, you know, she kind of diffused the whole thing, it could have been quite difficult for both parties. But at Hamdulillah, the whole situation was resolved. So you need somebody's help
over there. Alright, so for instance, somebody's reaching their handout, you have your brother with you, he should reach his hand out and shake hands. And while he's shaking hands, you know, you can say very politely, you know, a Salam or Aleikum or something and just walk away, right? Or if they are of that level, where they will actually understand that you don't shake hands with non Muslim men, you can communicate during that time, go ahead.
Okay, in the workplace, or at school, how do you avoid this? Now, again, you have to communicate, you have to communicate, you have to let other people know, you know, my sister in law she sister, right, she had come in giving you a workshop also recently, right? She told me that her mother, my mother in law, she taught her that when you're at school, and they're boys, they have to be one arm length away from you, at all point,
at all points, whether you're sitting, you're standing, there should be one arm distance between you and them minimum, all the time, doesn't matter where you are, minimum distance. So when you have this much space all the time, this radius, all right around you that's free, then what's going to happen, people are going to understand that, you know, for example, somebody comes very close to you, and you step back, and you keep talking to them in a professional way, right, you just take a step back, somebody comes in sits next to you, you get up and you move to the side, all right, and you still talk to them, you still say whatever you have to keep communicating with them, whatever is
necessary, but maintain a distance. And when you will maintain this physical distance, then what will happen, people will understand, eventually, they will get it. Go ahead.
When I started doing the job, you know, the sales cycle, and all the customers came and they you know, put a hand in front of me and I can I refused. Right? So next day, he said to the secretary tell Mrs. Han not to come to office. I said, Okay, so I didn't go for first and second agenda and the shipment was hold, because they need my signatures, you know, they should be fast. So 30 He called the secretary call and he said, why she's not coming? Then I said, can you transfer the line to him? Because he said to general manager that should should not come. So he came on the line. He said, Why not coming? I said because you said to me not to come? And he said no, you should come
because your shipment isn't on hold. Anyways, and I went so what happened? When the next customers from France came? They said you know, he told them before, like she's a Muslim lady, you should not you know, your put your hand in front of her and say, you know, for the shake hand, you know, what did that person did? He said, You know namaste to me. Then I said again, we don't say Namaste. And I said yes, hello to him. And then we carried on. I mean, you see, just like we learned in the previous is that initially it is difficult, but that is when Allah is testing us. What do we do?
How firm are we about our principles? initial stage is very difficult, but you stay firm inshallah people will understand they will accept, you'll get used to it, you'll figure out also what you should do as long. So I was going in for a Research Opportunity Program interview, and it was this Italian TA, I don't think he was accustomed to seeing a lot of Muslims or anything. So I walk in, and he just puts his hand out. And in the first instance, I mean, I didn't process I just shook it. And then after the interview, he put his hand out again. And I told him that I can shake it, and he wasn't offended or anything. And he was very understanding, and actually ended up getting the
position. But um, you know, I realized that it was a test for Moscow unthaw and I was like, I have to, you know, I have to make it clear, especially when he did the second time. Yes, and this is the thing, once you do it, if you just say, Oh, it's going to be just one handshake, it's okay. lt forgiveness, that means there's going to be another handshake, and another one and another one. So don't allow yourself to even do it once. Don't allow yourself to do it even once.
I have noticed like in Canada, most of the places are very secure. And the human resources department is really good. And they are very sensitive in the business sector. Specifically, if you look at the IKEA workshop, I think in Middle East, they take all the women away. So they from the catalog, because it's aimed for IKEA. Now, it's very confusing for people because different men, Muslim women act different ways. So it's very confusing for the other person that one is shaking hands, even for Ramadan, you want to teach them but how much you want to open because if you tell too much, maybe the days you're not fasting now how much you want to tell. And I teach special needs
students. And it's not about like not being Muslim, but we teach them about personal space, just like you said. So when you give that body language about personal space, most of the time people get it really well. The people who don't get it are the ones who don't get a lot of other things, either the cludes. But sometimes, I mean, just if not directly, sometimes indirectly, if you give the message people get it. But overall, most of the people are not creeps here most of the people are very decent in workplaces, and Hamdulillah. Okay.
See, the thing is when it comes to a non Muslim, regardless of how they're related to you, if they're non Muslim, they're non Muslim, right? So you could still say Salaam in a respectful way, and you see somebody has to bring the change, right? Because what do we see over here that when the children reached the age of puberty, they have to do what others before them used to do? Right? Because this etiquette is learned how through observation, you do what you see. All right, this has to be passed on through action. So it will be difficult for you to begin this change, it's possible that your uncle, your grandmother, whoever they yell at you, your parents get upset with you. But if
you take the stand and you become firm, then you are inshallah setting a good trend that no, we have to observe Allah's laws even in the house, and inshallah your younger sister, your younger brother, even they will, you know, have the courage to continue in this way. I'm not saying be disrespectful, always be respectful, but greet them in a different way. You don't always have to shake hands. I know of a friend who had planned it in such a way when her daughter was getting married, she had a gift wrap a small light gift wrap in her hand, and she had a purse in her hand so nobody would
clever and then scholar also once said, When he was asked like, when students are in college and school, he said that you should have a light magazine or a book in your hand. So nobody attempts and even if they like look at your book, you know, like look at your hand, like they have full, smart credit.
So when you're in the workplace, or when you're around people, instead of one of the reach out their hand for you, a really respectful way to do it is instead of reaching out your hand, you put your hand over here on your like on your like right above your, like heart and stuff. And you know, you've just nod your head a little bit, they find that really respectful because you're still responding to them. But you've also made it clear that you know what, sorry, I'm not gonna shake your hand. And this is not bowing down because we're not allowed to bow down to other people. This is just putting your hand over here. And just, you know, saying hello, and you can explain to them
if possible. Go ahead. So I think just a quick example. I mean, people are very understanding in general. So I don't know if you guys know about Howie Mandel, but he's a famous Canadian comedian. He's and he's a germaphobe. So he doesn't shake hands. And so at first people are like, what's wrong with this guy? But now people have come to realize, oh, he doesn't shake hands and they're completely okay with it. And he's normal.
Then he's a germaphobe. So if people respect someone like that, like, oh, wow, you're a germaphobe you're shake hands, then it shouldn't be a problem and Inshallah, when you put in your mind that I'm doing this for the sake of Allah will law here and I'm not joking like it will, your life will completely change and people will respect you more, never do things for the sake of all they're gonna feel bad. If you do it for the sake of Allah, they'll respect you more than like, oh, that person over there doesn't shake hands or that person over there. Oh, she's a Muslim woman, and, you know, don't sit next to her. And I've experienced this in high school in classes. There are a lot of
other people who are, you know, chill kind of thing. So they'll be comfortable with them. But as soon as like we're in a group project and like, oh, that's natty and they step away, like a couple of seats over and they don't even come that close. So a hamdulillah and it's just really, really important. If you put it in your heart and you go for it. You'll find that as you continue on in your life and you have so many different people, people respect you that way. So just always keep in your mind are doing this for the sake of Allah and it'll be good. Yes, does Okay.