Sajid Ahmed Umar – Being Patient with Your Kids

			look into this idea. Allah addresses the believers and he says, oh, full circle more and equal now.
He commands us to save ourselves and our families from the house.
		

			And this is a general instruction. But if you ponder over it, you find the concept of parenting
included, because parenting is a means through which you will save your families from the health.
		

			If we look at the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says Kulu kumara welcome
Miss Odin and Ray, that each and every one of you is, is a shepherd, and each and every one of you
is responsible for his or her flock. If you ponder over this, you find this
		

			being an instruction that includes parenting, why, because when we have children, we constitute
being shepherds, and our children constitute being our flock. And in another generation, the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam says that there is no person who Allah subhanho wa Taala faces a trust
upon him, and he or she deceives the trust that Allah has given them. We are deceptive with this
trust, except that Allah subhanahu Attallah will enter them into the Alpha. Right so the punishment
for
		

			being deceptive with regards to the trust that Allah subhanho wa Taala has given us is a severe
punishment, right. So when we ponder over these narrations, we see here that they include the
concept of parenting because prayer is parenting is a trust that Allah subhanho wa Taala has placed
upon us so this is the first way that we learn about this topic in our sources. The second way that
we learn about this topic is indirect instructions in the Quran and the Sunnah, in relation to this
topic. So for example, we look into the Quran, we find Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, revealing what
Amala halacha the Salah, it was severely Allah He commands us by saying command your families
		

			towards the prayer towards the Salah was severe it is Tuggerah your stubbornness DEVAR stubborn,
this term denotes a more intensified instruction towards having patience. Right so Allah is saying
command you found the knees towards the prayer and be persistently patient with this command. Be
persistently patient in raising your children with regards to the salah. And if we ponder over the
reality of the verse, the verse is commanding us towards Salah. So what about everything else, which
is an ideal, but lower in terms of importance, right with regards to Salah, we understand that all
these idols are included within the instruction. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, command your families
		

			towards the prayer and all the ideals revealed by Allah subhanho wa Taala was not your ally and be
persistently patient with the process. So this is a direct command towards parenting. Right and we
will touch upon this Inshallah, later on in the topic, we will add some more lessons that we can
derive from this particular verse. The point right now is for us to understand that here we have a
direct instruction revealed by Allah with regards to this topic. And then Allah subhanho wa Taala
goes on to say Latinus Luca is that we do not
		

			ask from you provisions and sustenance.
		

			We are the providers. What are people to the taco and the good end is for the people of Taqwa. And
if we found over this, this particular ending of this idea, which directly is related to parenting,
especially in the 21st century, then we find this is offering us guidance in terms of what I said
earlier about mandatary roles and elective roles, right? That He Allah subhanho wa Taala is saying,
We do not ask from you provision, yes, you got to do what you need to do, but understand that
ultimately it is Allah subhanho wa taala, who provides, today we find parents, they restrict to the
concept of parenting to the practice of provision
		

			to such an extent, that the elective role, which is the job that they have, which is lesser in
importance than the mandatary role, which is the role that Allah has given you. What do we find
parents doing? They flip it in terms of priority, they give more importance to the job when
		

			raising the kids, and how do they justify it in their mind through cognitive dissonance? What do
they do? They say that this is parenting I'm providing for my child. And this is clear evidence that
they've understood exactly what parenting is the restricted to the concept of provision. And Allah
says We haven't asked you to provide we are the providers. Right? It shouldn't be that your children
suffer as a result of this concept of provision waits for
		

			about putting food on the table and buying them clothes and taking them for holidays, and so on and
so forth. And sometimes we, as community workers, we come across the statement when there's
turbulence in a home and we arbitrating between child and father, or child and Mother, you find the
father getting up and saying, but what happened I given you, whatever they bought you what happened
we provided you right. So at that moment, in the heat of the moment, you find that the Father has
misunderstood and the mother has misunderstood that parenting is far beyond the concept of just
providing and I'll touch on this inshallah just now. So Allah subhanho wa taala. He offers us a
		

			direct instruction towards parenting, and later on, he tells us don't
		

			flip the priorities don't give the elective role more importance than the mandatary role. If you do
so, you're setting yourself and your family up for failure. You're not setting them up for success.