Omar Suleiman – Why Me #19 Why Did They Have To Die
AI: Summary ©
The rainbow's power is used to bring people back to their former memories and grieving losses, and to process the death of a deceased relative. The speaker emphasizes the importance of grieving and remaining true to oneself, as it is the only way to live a life of comfort. The rainbow's power is used to bring people to their former memories and to grieving their losses, and to avoid losing their consciousness and feeling sorry for themselves in order to live a life of comfort.
AI: Summary ©
Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi, I do
not hesitate about anything as much as I
hesitate about seizing the soul of my faithful
servant,
For he hates death, and I hate to
disappoint him.
But it doesn't just disappoint them.
Sometimes it can feel like it destroys those
of us who have been left behind.
Why, oh Allah, did they have to die,
especially now when things were finally going right?
On a personal level, I lost my mother
between my nikah and my wedding, and I've
been grieving her ever since.
And as much as I felt connected to
her when she was here,
sometimes I feel even more connected while she's
not here. Sometimes your relationship with the dead
is even stronger than when they were alive,
because in some ways you can do more
for them now than you could have done
when they were in this dunya. How?
Because before you couldn't do good deeds on
their behalf the way that you can now
And those good deeds on their behalf are
far more precious than anything you could have
benefited them when they were still with you.
While they move on to their new life,
hopefully in a better place,
your life will never be the same after
their death.
And there's the Sunnah of our beloved prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam in how we live our
lives,
and there's also his sunnah and how we
grieve our dead.
He buried almost every single one of his
immediate family members in his own lifetime SallAllahu
Alaihi Wasallam.
His beloved wife Khadija radiAllahu ta'ala Anha,
6 of his own 7 children.
He buries his mother when he's only 6
years old himself.
He buries his grandfather when he's 9. He
buries his father figure in Abu Talib under
the worst of circumstances. And of course his
actual father already had passed away before he
was born SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam.
And his grieving was so profoundly human yet
so perfectly prophetic.
In the famous incident of the death of
his son Ibrahim
as he's holding his son and his tears
are falling on his corpse, he says, Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam,
The eye shed tears
and the heart grieves And we are hurting
over your loss, oh Ibrahim.
But we will not say, except that which
pleases our Lord.
The The Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam had no
doubt about where Ibrahim was going, but he
was incredibly hurt over the pain of that
separation while he's still here.
He had full rahma, which is mercy,
and full ribah, which is contentment.
And Imam ibn al Qayyim rahimullah explains that
there is a genius to this and that
there are levels to the level of mercy
that you can have and the level of
contentment that you can have with Allah's decree.
The highest rank he says are those that
have both ribah, which is contentment, as well
as rahma, which is mercy. And he said
that's when the eyes cry,
but the heart is content.
Then he says below that is when a
person has rahma but they don't have rubah.
So they're grieved out of mercy, but they
can't find contentment in their heart and they
continue to be disturbed by that death.
The third level he says is when you
have riblah but you don't have rahmah.
So a person feels no emotions and is
not at all moved but they've still accepted
the decree of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la.
Then he says the lowest level is when
you have neither rahma or rillah.
So all you have is grief and resentment
of Allah's decree. The Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
was of course the epitome of the highest
rank. And Imam min Taymir Rahimullah was asked
something very interesting about this.
He was asked, when you go through
the stories of scholars that came before, sometimes
you find scholars and great people in Islamic
history
who lost their children and they did not
respond with crying. They didn't respond with the
emotion that the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam responded
with. Particularly,
he was asked about the story of Fudayl
bin ayyad Rahimullah
who lost his beloved son, Yusuf, who died
in salah praying behind him.
And in full dayd loved him so much
but he was at the janaza
walking around with a big smile on his
face. So some of the people asked
him, are you grieving? Are you okay?
He said, I wanted to show Allah that
I accept his divine decree.
Now, if you compare the response of Fudayl
to losing his son Yusuf, to the response
of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam to losing
his son Ibrahim,
Which one of them was the more perfect
response? Ibn Taymih Rahimullah said, It's actually the
prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam's response.
Because he didn't have to compromise his rahma
in order to have his ribah. He didn't
have to lose mercy
in order to have contentment.
Whereas the rest of us, we have these
two emotions and sometimes we have to privilege
one over the other in order to perfect
the emotion and Fudayl did not want to
show dissatisfaction
with the decree of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala.
In many ways, the janaza is more for
us than the person who has died.
As soon as we return from the graveyard,
we feel the emptiness of the home they
don't come back to. And we feel the
weight of our deeds for them knowing they
wish they could still do them for themselves.
People can outlive their biological clock,
but you're a huge part of that. Any
good that they did, any good they may
have taught you, any way that they benefited
you,
carry it forward and be part of the
reason that their scrolls of deeds continue even
after their scroll of decree has now fallen
from the throne of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So that their actions can continue to benefit
them
and also benefit generations still to come on
this earth.
And one of the best ways to cope
is not just to be a source of
goodness for the newly departed,
but to be a source of comfort to
others that are now grieving the same loss
as you.
When you heal them,
Allah starts to heal you. And even if
you feel like you're hurting most,
the widow that focuses on caring for her
children,
the child that now focuses on his widowed
parents,
all of that is of the best ways
that you can grieve and continue to be
elevated.
For the one that's now gone,
Allah has decreed memories for us sometimes as
reminders to not forget,
and sometimes as a gift to get you
through.
Cherish those memories that you had together in
this life,
Then make new memories through the duas and
donations on their behalf that you'll be able
to celebrate together in the next life inshaAllah.
Death can be the greatest teacher we have
and the people that have gone ahead have
taught us in so many ways and we
often learn so much more about them once
they're gone.
Their hidden struggles or their hidden good deeds,
the responsibilities
they had that we now have to assume.
But imagine out of everything your parents taught
you, Allah decrees Jannah for you through your
being patient with their death.
Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la says in a
hadithqudsi
maliabdilmuthminiandijazaibaqabatul
safiyahuminahlidunya
thummahtasabahu
illaljannah
I have nothing to give but Jannah as
a reward to my believing servant who if
I cause their loved one to die remains
patient.
And that's not just true for our parents
but anyone we love.
Allah knows how much you love them and
how much he restrains your pain for them
out of your love for him. And sometimes
that alone is enough to earn you Jannah.
La tastaghribwuku
alakdarimadumtafihabihidar
So long as you are in this world,
be not surprised that the existence of sorrow
for truly it manifests nothing but what is
in keeping with its character
or its inevitable nature.
This temporary life we live is just a
cycle of events to be patient with and
events to be grateful for.
The moments when you are tested with loss
reveal your truest character and commitment.
That doesn't mean that loss won't hurt,
it will.
It can tear apart your happiness and make
you question your own will to continue on
in life.
But the new connection Allah may be building
between you and him and you and the
others around you may be truly special
while he's also not letting you get too
attached to this life.
The prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said, Be frequent
in remembering death for it is Hadim al
lathat, the destroyer of all pleasures.
Because Inna lillahi wa inna ilaha hiji'oon, to
Allah we all belong
and to Him we all return. And that
puts into perspective how every single person in
our lives
and every single piece of us is on
its way back to Allah and at the
time which he decides.