Omar Suleiman – Fiqh of Pregnancy #6
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The speakers discuss the cultural bias and importance of fasting during treatments and breastfeeding, as well as the use of birth control during treatments and the potential for mistakes to prevent future illness. They emphasize the need for transparency and discussion about appropriate practices for children, as well as the importance of genetic testing for mothers and children. They suggest seeking help from participants through email questions.
AI: Summary ©
I just wanted to thank also the masjid and Imam Nadine Masha Allah the response and for giving us the, the use of the Meza and the facility. I'm getting out of it. I mean, I haven't known Imam Nadine for too long, but from then I am very fond of him, I love him for the sake of Allah. And Inshallah, hopefully we'll be doing some things together. Also, you'll be seeing us doing some things together and shut down the area. So Zack, if I can walk out to the masjid and ask Allah Subhana Allah, your community emotional lives are growing, and it's vibrant hamdulillah adds,
you know, establishing itself as a very active and vibrant community. So I asked him what's Panasonic to put Bartok on your community? And to allow it to become a center of activity and Shama Lama? I mean, so we have questions, written questions.
This is what
we want to answer.
Okay.
So
the one question that has come is that, what are the rules of making up fasting for women who have consecutive pregnancy and breastfeeding for several years, generally, what you will do is that, you will collect all the days that you have missed out. And as time goes on, whenever you do have the chance than usual, you will take care of your fancy one day at a time. So, that is it based on your own convenience. And there is not a set rule that you have to do it at a particular time of the year, you could do at a time that you're basically here's
the second question, which is, in our culture, women change their last name after marriage? Is it okay or permissible? No, it's not. In fact, let me mention this SubhanAllah. And it just shows you that we see things through the lens of our culture. I was once doing the lecture on women in Islam at university. And there was, you know, anonymous, a woman that was sitting there. And she said, How come in your religion, women are just property? I was like, Man, can I ask questions that? She's said? Yes. So are you married? So I was like, Yeah, I was like, so What's your last name? She said her last name. I was like, What's your real last name? Like, what are you talking about? So my last
name, I said, was that your last name before marriage? So she said,
No, obviously, I changed when I got married. I said, In Islam, It's haram. It's prohibited for a woman to change her name, because she's not the property of the man. Why would you change your last name when you get married? Now, we don't think about that in our culture, because we, you know, we don't see it. And I'm not saying it is chauvinistic per se because I'm an American too. I grew up in this country. I never thought anything of it. But that's the point. That some sometimes we see rulings or we see things that are different in our deen and it's not meant to disrespect the woman and things of that sort, but we might see it as such because our culture we naturally have a bias we
naturally have a cultural bias, but Allah azza wa jal makes it fuddled with the room nearby him to call me I am to be called by the names of your families it is a must so no A woman cannot be called by the name of her husband
do you talk about the middle name of babies last minute does Father's name get to the middle or last name of the baby if Father's name gets to be the middle name? What is the last name for the baby according to show you the only thing the name of the Father has to be somewhere there so it's the the you know the usually traditionally what it would be is that
you know, you you would be called by such and such the daughter or son of so and so. And then the name of your tribe, which fits perfectly with what we do here with three names right? So the name of your family would be your last name the name of the Father would be the middle name
something really cool Shefali asuni has a son named harlot to holiday I've been worried and he actually made the middle name been what it just caught it they've been worried. So yeah, so yeah, do you know try to do that father system inshallah.
Here's the question. I'm going to try to read the question I'm very bad sometimes reading people's handwriting.
During the delivery are we supposed to make a thing so it may be fragile for the player?
If there's no indication with the baby coming generally as you know that the Islam is very easy of course, as promised, someone says a DD useful Salam is something that cannot be skipped out. So the football ha have given permission that if it is difficult for you to get off your bed and perform the slot, you can perform the slot on your bed also, if it's if it's difficult, so do keep that in mind. If you look at overall our religion, when it comes to fasting when it comes to a lot it actually looks after the health of the person even when it comes to fat.
seeing if there's any if your life is in jeopardy or your you know that your health can deteriorate if you will fast the install has given the permission that you don't have to fast. So even as a lot when it comes to the if you look at the if you just say the fit of solid you will you will learn that if you cannot perform solid standing up you have the permission to sit down on a chair if you cannot do it on the chair, if you have to do it on the bed, I mean how you do it on the bed if you have to do and not only that, but there are chapters in the books of FIP in terms of solid is a solid two bit EMA which is your praise a lot with Sharla so this is also allowed
what are the don'ts to recite for young couples who are planning to have children well then a habit laminate as well as you know with a reality you know karate iron or journaling with Karina Imam. You can also go through some of the drugs like second Ianis and I made Brahim my son and Robbie have it even a slider Hain Oh Allah grant me from the righteous, so on so forth. So you can make the arts from the Quran and things of that sort. But that's the best one for sure. When couples have issues having children after marriage,
up to what limits? They can consult a snap quickly.
I'm a little confused by the question, because the first part of the question, we're having trouble having kids. And then the second part, there's a limit. Again, the only thing the shutdown prohibits you from his permanent birth control and trying to not have any kids whatsoever. So you want to have one, two, that's fine. But the only thing is not having children whatsoever.
You getting gold or silver, or something?
Oh, infertility treatment is fine as long as the men's? And that's a good question. Actually, I should have covered it in the seminar. I thought about that, as long as the husband's eggs are being used, or the husband is being used in that as long as it's not a non Muharram or so on so forth. As long as it's still valid, that treatment fertility treatment is totally fine. There's nothing wrong with it. As long as again, it's not anyone other than the husband being used
there's a question that has come up can we use birth control? If we plan to perform hypes once again as mentioned in the seminar that even gets a hold of the low on they will not actually it will not cut it out of the picture completely of having children, but they would they would delay it for some reason. In the same way if you know that you may be going for height and this could become a hindrance then after that, it could be used but once again, as the chef mentioned earlier, it has to be consensus between the both husband and wife initially a mutual understanding between this house is.
deficient okay before four months can we have an abortion if there's we're told the child is going to be deficient? If it's if it's a deformity, yes, if it's something that the child is going to seriously have a serious disorder and things of that sort and might not even survive. So I mean, look, again, as I said with these things, you want to consult on it that I'm not telling you this so that when you're faced with a situation, especially with something as critical as this that you just make up your own decision. No, you go and you ask the Imam you go on you ask a scholar qualified scholar to see that you qualify to make sure that you qualify. So the general answer is yes. But as
far as the severity of that then you need to consult someone who's knowledgeable who will in turn talk to someone who's knowledgeable in the field of medicine. See, you know what the severity is?
applica for older person does it require to shave the head no. I pika and shaving the head are two separate things. So you don't have to shave your head when you do our Pika. Pika is the sloth is the animal slaughter. It's not the shaving of the head. So you're just shaving the head of the kids. Okay, I think that's that's
the one Yes sister.
When you go to the gynecologist obstetrician, they clearly have a past. I forgot how
if we happen to find out is Down Syndrome baby or anything chromosome abnormalities doesn't allow us to have that abortion.
Okay, so again, let me go a little bit deeper into the question now.
There's a difference between what's permissible, and what is the best thing to do in that regard.
Raising handicapped children, or special education or special needs children is very praiseworthy, innocent, and there's a lot of edge on that. So not saying that you have to or you should, but as far as permissibility is concerned, if it's severe enough to where the child will not be able to function properly, okay, and that's a loose term because the Shediac doesn't specify things where they should not be specified, where it'd be case by case, what they really are using which hobbies we using it to justify. There's there was no abortion at the time of the prophets, I saw them. So obviously, this is this is
contemporary surfaces. Contemporary environment even just said to me, so I mean, obviously with new situations, that's why you have local hot they use the traditions to try to come up with these answers. So the deal is that the prophets lie Selim said about the role of not being in yet so therefore, the scholars in general they used to treat it before the rule is in a different way than it would be treated when there was
not insight. So that's what it is. So it's just contemporary filtering with the football house that I what I what I particularly I would I would recommend to read some of the articles I mentioned Shatner Hodges, my teacher, mashallah is very rarely do you find someone who is qualified in this field and qualified in Islamic law. He's a pediatrician, very skilled doctor was one of Mayo Clinic's doctors. And he's also a PhD in the art he's qualified for it and Mufti. So he's written a lot on these topics. And his PhD actually was on medical ethics. And
so you can just search how to manage he actually he actually has a website, Dr. Heitzmann hydra.com, where he writes a lot of articles and things of that sort. Had some eight [email protected]. Okay, and he writes some articles on this is that
we have a brother to surgical brother, sister, brother, sister, Yes, brother.
During the association
where did the solo si some come up with the names of his daughters? That's a good question.
I don't know. They're all before ye, though.
But I don't. I'm not sure. Do you have any idea about that? I have no clue. It's a good question, though. Because I could look at all research and show
the sister I think she had the question first the
baby
eyeliner. Oh, God
can answer that. So all the blue on the blue eye toward off Hassan Nothern eyeliner and the black stuff. Not only is that a bit odd, but it's borderlining schicke minor forms of schicke. Okay, because consulting a magician horoscope and those types of things, these are haram and this can actually lead to your Salah being invalid and things of that sort of devoid so
there is no proof for putting eyes of the Quran on the child. So you don't put any eyes of the teacher could go on and read Quran on your kids, but putting an eye is not going to do anything on them.
Right, so reading and writing raffia but putting like chains and those types of things.
There is no basis for that. No eyeliner, if you want them to look cute. You want to put eyeliner, that's fine.
I mean, I think I, the sisters asking the question. I mean, I'm quite aware of the culture that nearly where we come from. So the best thing is that as the chef mentioned, reading the Quran, portable Aloha.
Luna Lunas, this is what awesome he did in this the best form of the best route to go with.
The given the promise that was given to someone
now they sell breast milk. So like, I have a friend who she's gonna be moments ago, she asked me she's like, Well, my neighbor can't make milk shorter by my mouth. Can I do it? And I'm like, oh, that's me. So.
So
selling breast milk now, paying a wet nurse is fine. So on the the issue here, the issue of contention is you have to know where the milk is coming from. And you have to be very clear and aware and it's still it would establish. So for example, the scholar said, the five occasions that make a person even if they're not sucking directly from the breast, and if there's they're taking the milk, but it's still sessions of milk so it still establishes the relationship
The relationship between
the wet nurse and
the wet nurse is it's not about rights as much as it's about our that there is no out that there's others out obviously, but the madam. He's become a total Muslim to her. And she doesn't wear hijab, she doesn't have to wear hijab in front of in front of him. And for all practical purposes, she's like a mother town that also lost lice and I'm treated
when he saw his former wet nurses, he treated them and he you know, like his mother and he and he Kurama homeslice not to be treated them with with with the best honor and things of that sort. So you can derive from that. Obviously, they have you owe them they have rights upon you, but do they have the rights that your actual mother would have on you? No. But you want to add on to that? No, I mean, even one time there is mentioned that
on Sunday, when she came when one time she did come, and the problem sudden once he saw her coming, he actually told the Sahaba that move with you, he laid down a sheet, and he actually did reference to Halima Saudia as his own mother also. So because when they go through and take care of a child,
about a coma, Amen, yes. And also
it gets five past five. We'll take one more question. Yes, sister.
I wanted to contribute that those chromosomal disorder tests are typically at 12 weeks and 21 weeks.
My question is, I'm not familiar with the practice of Nokia.
Is that just as simply as when I'm making my morning and afternoon ADKAR, my baby is with me? Or is there a specific to it?
Okay, so reading the Nokia on your baby, basically, right? You can read? Look, you're on your baby. Is this the same question? Okay, it's a different question.
Reading Rukia on the baby, you would simply pass your hand over the baby, as you read. Morning and evening. Remember, it says yes. What do you mean? Like I laid my head like
demonstrate on the chef.
Rub your hand on the arm and on the on the face and rub your hand over the baby compassionately. Not like,
like you're trying to get a demon out.
We should take a brother now. Inshallah. You had your hand Yes.
Considered as momentous the minute I grew up, for example, my son picks
it out some milk. It's like it just like it doesn't
matter?
I honestly, I don't know. That's something I had to ask a doctor that Is that considered as voluntary? Not once once we can determine what exactly it is, then we can put a ruling to that. But that's, you know, I understand what you're saying that has happened?
Yes.
Five months
to get it done and like to get genetic testing done. What are the implications? Isn't that IQ testing? I read about it. But
would you like to get to that IQ testing? Whether you're pregnant? So I'm just trying to know what is going on IQ testing do?
I mean, there's any type of screening or testing that just shows disorders things. I mean, that's that's fine. Any type of testing is fine. Yeah. Anything that's not going to harm? You know, the baby is fine.
Yeah, I think we'll do two more questions.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
How far was agile in terms of adoption?
Challenging care.
Rest feeds, does that
that relationship extended has been our parents. Great question.
Is adoption haram in Islam? No, it's good.
Lie. It's a sunnah that's being neglected in our community, it really is changing the name of the child. This is what's not allowed. robbing the child of their identity is what's not allowed. Adoption is good. And, you know, that's what the province is referred to as the one who sponsors raises an orphan is like this with me in paradise. So I I'm a big proponent of it. And I think as a community, we need to start exploring avenues, especially with all the refugees that come and stuff like that. So what is the solution then if you get a child that's under two years old?
Yes, breastfeeding the child would make. So let's say it's a girl.
You breastfeed the girl that's under two years old five times. Not only is she your daughter, your husband can see her without a job. Even as an adult she becomes
Eunice's daughter, two, and your sons would be her brothers. Okay? Likewise a son, if you take a few adopted boy and you breastfeed the boy, and even if a woman is not naturally producing, so there might have said that, even if she takes something to induce breast milk, just to fulfill that purpose, that's fine. That's an honorable cause. So it should be done, but it can't, it can't be done after two years.
I personally gotta get going in a few minutes.
We'll just take one more.
And I think the chef can shed some light on this also, this question actually is actually in reference to something that the husband or wife have something. I mean, it's an issue where they're not agreeing upon. But the question is, if the wife is mentally physically ready, but their husband is not read, does not want a child, because he thinks this is, and this is sometimes typical, because his thinking means that his wife is are responsible, and not good enough to be a mother. First of all, that's very wrong to think like that, that just shows that you don't have a lot of
email,
please respond via email, I think this is one of the private
it's better than skip. I'll skip that right now. Actually.
Just quickly, it's the right of the husband and wife, I guess.
I don't want to actually pick it up, just didn't read the the bottom part. But I'll respond to that separately. But when it comes to these kind of matters, there should be a mutual understanding between the husband and wife, and they should try to work things out. Remember always that in a marriage. This is something I've talked about in my videos, also, a marriage is not a one way street, it's a two way street, there has to be, there should be there should be mutual understanding in all our matters that we do in this what creates a healthy family. A lot of times, unfortunately, from the cultures that we come from, the mentality is that the man says and the wife she has to do
with regardless whether she likes her or not, it's a one way street. And that's not what we see. And what we learned from the from this from the prophets of Salaam. You always saw that the Prophet Allah has some he always took advice from his wives, he always, you know, got engaged with his wives. And you know, there was a mutual understanding of so many things, when the Prophet Solomon was the most dire need the people who would come to give him advice, where his wife's
Davia when the Paulson did not know what to do. It was the wife of the province of Salem, that who came in gave advice and that advice actually helped out very much for the populace and themselves. That's why in all family matters, there should be some there should be mutual understanding your show.
So having said that, if there's any more questions that you can ask, by the way, there are like for example, the one question that brother did ask about the daughters of the prophets I seldom Inshallah, I will be looking I in the chef will look more into that. There was another question that came up earlier in the after the first session, which is a very good question
that was asked in regards to the the baby and when this the who, or the soul comes in. And so we'll look into that more, but if there's any other questions that you have, then please do email them to Sharla and they'll be answered.
For everyone to come.