Nouman Ali Khan – When Our Feelings – Become Our God

Be called drawing a boundary. What used to, you know, what used to be

telling, you know, somebody's telling you a harsh truth, what

Allah ha meaning, you're telling somebody your truth that maybe

they don't want to hear, but you need, they need to hear it. You

say, this is, this is gaslighting. I'm being gas lit. So now what we

do is we take psychology and we actually undermine some of the

most important experiences in our lives, because the biggest the

ultimate thing is I need to feel good. Anything that gets in the

way of me feeling good is bad for my psychology.

So the ultimate goal is to keep yourself happy. Anything gets in

that way. It's toxic. It's narcissist. Is this person is

narcissistic? They're not drawing the route boundary. I'm being

triggered. You're being triggered.

What does the Quran say about that? What? What happens when you

have an and by the way, I'm not dismissing somebody having a

traumatic experience. I

don't dismiss that. There's such a thing as narcissism. These things

exist. What I'm saying is we have turned them into weaponized terms.

We don't even understand them ourselves, and it's actually

starting to impact the way we think about our own religion, our

Chait. We're not even contemplating how many of these

concepts violate principles of the Quran, direct principles of the

Quran. I'll just give you one example. In suluto Abu Allah Azza

wa ja said, and this is what I recited at the beginning of this.

Allah said, ma asi. But in illabi ibn LA,

whatever calamity happened to you? Whatever struck, any, any, any

kind of calamity that struck somebody got in a car accident,

somebody guy got diagnosed with a disease, somebody's family member

passed away, somebody lost a job, somebody got into a fight with

their spouse, and they're getting divorced. Somebody you know walked

ran away from home, somebody you know, they don't want to deal with

their family anymore, so they blocked every number, and now

they're just gone forever. You have a brother that doesn't talk

to you, doesn't won't pick up your calls, won't respond to your text

messages. You have a son who hates your guts. You have a you have a

mother who just walked away from the family. Happens.

There's people experience different kinds of calamities in

life. Masibat in illabi The first thing, Allah says, no, no, nothing

struck anyone ever except that ALLAH allowed that to happen

number one. But

then the question is, Why did Allah allow something so terrible

to happen? Why would that happen? And Allah says, sometimes in this

ayah, there are many Ayat on this, but this ayah, Allah teaches us a

powerful lesson. He says, wame, bindahi, Yadi, qal, Bahu,

whoever truly has faith in Allah,

Allah will guide that person's heart.

Allah will guide their heart. And what is Allah saying? Allah is

saying, My heart feels anxiety, my heart feels anger, my heart feels

sadness, my heart feels frustration. My heart feels this

person got away with something they should they deserve justice.

They got away with it. My heart feels that it was unfair. My heart

feels unrest. My heart feels all of these things. But if I have

Iman and Allah, Allah will guide my heart through these negative

emotions.

Actually, some of those negative experiences are a test of my Iman,

and if I do have Iman, Allah will guide my heart. In

other words, I'm supposed to go through some of these difficult

experiences to truly experience guidance. I have to and this will

be the way my Iman gets secured. And Iman is the greatest asset a

human being can have, because on Judgment Day, the only thing that

matters, illaman at Allah, Abal bin Salim, the only people nothing

will be of any benefit, except people who come before Allah and

they have a good heart. And the only way to have a good heart is

to have imam in that heart. And the only way to have Imaan in that

heart is Allah will guide that heart. And the only way that heart

to be guided is to go through a tough experience and hold on to

your faith anyway, and not let that be, not that be shaken, and

you stay the course. So this is, this is a remarkable thing, Allah

says. And this ayah, Allah is telling us to face a traumatic

experience, to face it, to deal with it, but deal with it with

faith and not let it change you.

And this is why the best people, the best people that ever lived,

the prophets themselves, Ali hemos latosa, every one of them are

victims of trauma, if you want to use psychological terms, every one

of them were surrounded by toxic people.

Every one of them have their boundaries crossed, every one of

them,

every last one of them, had to experience narcissism,

isn't it?

Didn't Ibrahim alaihi salam have a toxic father. Didn't Yusuf alaihi

salam have narcissistic brothers, didn't they?

I'm still traumatized about that. Let me repeat it again, as if it

happened, right? I didn't say it again. No, no, but it still hurts

me, though

I'm still traumatized, therefore I need to do dhikr of that all the

time. I need to give you Akbar about that all the time.

Allah says, if you can just turn the page that Allah is forgiving

too, maybe things will reconcile. Even in the worst case, there's

room for reconciliation. There's room to make things better. But if

the hearts are not, if you're too absorbed in yourself, you're not

going to look for a solution. The only thing that you want to serve

is your own, your wishes. And so this is the last thing I will

share with you, the direction that psychology is in going in now pop

psychology reminds me of the ayah of sun. Jatia, Ara, Aita manitaha,

ILAHA

wa abula, hola ho

Did you see someone who takes their feeling, their empty

feeling, and it turns the it, they turn it into their God.

Their god has become their feeling.

And Allah allows this person to be misguided, even though they have

knowledge Alain, they can know they can be a PhD, they can be a

doctor, they can be a professional, but they are being

led by their emotions, and they give themselves a new diagnosis

and give themselves other people a diagnosis, depending on how they

make them feel. Today, you're a narcissist. Tomorrow, you're an

abuser. The next day, you're a toxic person. The next day you're

this. The next day you're depressed, the next day you're you

know, you have attachment issues.

You just throw out these diagnoses, label people. Allah.

Allah.

Well, hatama, Allah.

You know Allah says, then this kind of a person, Allah, will put

a ceiling on their hearing. You know what that means? That means

doesn't matter if you try to reason with them, you cannot

reason with people who live by emotions. Many

of you have experienced this when people are living by their

emotions. If you're trying to be logical, it's like talking to a

wall,

but, but I feel, but I feel, but I feel. The feeling is That's

the God you know

that Allah places a cover over their hearts.

Who's going to guide them after Allah,

that ayah, that last part of that ayah, who will guide them after

Allah. You know what that means. They replaced Allah with their own

feelings.

That's why there's no more guidance for them, because their

ILA is actually Allah, but their Ilah became their Hawa. So Allah

says familia, who's going to guide them after Allah? After they

remove Allah from their hearts, what guidance can they have? On

the flip side, contemplates when as a person experiences difficulty

and trauma and actual difficulty in their life, whoever turns back

to Allah in faith Yati, kalbahu, Allah will guide that person's

heart. Allahu, Abu Asmaa knows everything. There's nothing Allah

doesn't know. May Allah guide our hearts and not allow us to become,

you know, worshipers of our own feelings and actually remain

worshipers of Allah in the depths of our hearts. And may Allah not

make us of those who easily pass judgment on others unjustifiably.

You know, I know this. The khutbah is already over. But one last

thing I will share with you, we cannot judge another person's

heart in Islam. I cannot point at you and say you're a munafi if you

have NIFA in your heart. I can't do it, but there's no way for me

to know. Even Allah did not let Musa know if it aun has kufr in

his heart or not.

La Allahu, Yakar, Awan Yasha,

go talk to him nicely. Kula, dahuka, Laina, both of you, go

talk to him nicely. Maybe he'll get reminder. Maybe there's some

part of his heart that can benefit from a reminder you don't know. Ya

Allah, spiraun, he kills babies.

Come on, come on, guys. Heart is made of some kind of special stone

that will never crack. No, no, no, you don't know. You don't get to

know. This is Allah telling Musa alai Salam, so I cannot judge

another person's heart, but in this new psychology, I can easily

judge another person's heart the moment I call somebody a

narcissist. I'm judging them for their arrogance the moment I call

somebody one of one of these terms, I'm not actually judging

their actions. I'm judging the state of their hearts. Be careful.

This is not something our deen allows, but we've made this a

normal practice because we're enamored by these terms. Now, if

you're going to understand these terms, if you're not a student of

the subject, don't do it. Don't misdiagnose yourself and

misdiagnose others. It's only creating a problem in our society

and in our families. Barak Allahu, Quran, ithaki, one of Ani wa ya

kumilla.

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