Nouman Ali Khan – When Our Feelings – Become Our God
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the concept of "traditional behavior" as a way to avoid suffering from negative emotions and truly experience guidance. They stress the importance of faith in Islam, signing up for a YouTube channel to learn the Quran, and being part of one's lifestyle. They also discuss the need to overcome boundaries and use one's own feelings and experiences to guide others and avoid becoming a narcissist.
AI: Summary ©
Be called drawing a boundary. What used to, you know, what used to be
telling, you know, somebody's telling you a harsh truth, what
Allah ha meaning, you're telling somebody your truth that maybe
they don't want to hear, but you need, they need to hear it. You
say, this is, this is gaslighting. I'm being gas lit. So now what we
do is we take psychology and we actually undermine some of the
most important experiences in our lives, because the biggest the
ultimate thing is I need to feel good. Anything that gets in the
way of me feeling good is bad for my psychology.
So the ultimate goal is to keep yourself happy. Anything gets in
that way. It's toxic. It's narcissist. Is this person is
narcissistic? They're not drawing the route boundary. I'm being
triggered. You're being triggered.
What does the Quran say about that? What? What happens when you
have an and by the way, I'm not dismissing somebody having a
traumatic experience. I
don't dismiss that. There's such a thing as narcissism. These things
exist. What I'm saying is we have turned them into weaponized terms.
We don't even understand them ourselves, and it's actually
starting to impact the way we think about our own religion, our
Chait. We're not even contemplating how many of these
concepts violate principles of the Quran, direct principles of the
Quran. I'll just give you one example. In suluto Abu Allah Azza
wa ja said, and this is what I recited at the beginning of this.
Allah said, ma asi. But in illabi ibn LA,
whatever calamity happened to you? Whatever struck, any, any, any
kind of calamity that struck somebody got in a car accident,
somebody guy got diagnosed with a disease, somebody's family member
passed away, somebody lost a job, somebody got into a fight with
their spouse, and they're getting divorced. Somebody you know walked
ran away from home, somebody you know, they don't want to deal with
their family anymore, so they blocked every number, and now
they're just gone forever. You have a brother that doesn't talk
to you, doesn't won't pick up your calls, won't respond to your text
messages. You have a son who hates your guts. You have a you have a
mother who just walked away from the family. Happens.
There's people experience different kinds of calamities in
life. Masibat in illabi The first thing, Allah says, no, no, nothing
struck anyone ever except that ALLAH allowed that to happen
number one. But
then the question is, Why did Allah allow something so terrible
to happen? Why would that happen? And Allah says, sometimes in this
ayah, there are many Ayat on this, but this ayah, Allah teaches us a
powerful lesson. He says, wame, bindahi, Yadi, qal, Bahu,
whoever truly has faith in Allah,
Allah will guide that person's heart.
Allah will guide their heart. And what is Allah saying? Allah is
saying, My heart feels anxiety, my heart feels anger, my heart feels
sadness, my heart feels frustration. My heart feels this
person got away with something they should they deserve justice.
They got away with it. My heart feels that it was unfair. My heart
feels unrest. My heart feels all of these things. But if I have
Iman and Allah, Allah will guide my heart through these negative
emotions.
Actually, some of those negative experiences are a test of my Iman,
and if I do have Iman, Allah will guide my heart. In
other words, I'm supposed to go through some of these difficult
experiences to truly experience guidance. I have to and this will
be the way my Iman gets secured. And Iman is the greatest asset a
human being can have, because on Judgment Day, the only thing that
matters, illaman at Allah, Abal bin Salim, the only people nothing
will be of any benefit, except people who come before Allah and
they have a good heart. And the only way to have a good heart is
to have imam in that heart. And the only way to have Imaan in that
heart is Allah will guide that heart. And the only way that heart
to be guided is to go through a tough experience and hold on to
your faith anyway, and not let that be, not that be shaken, and
you stay the course. So this is, this is a remarkable thing, Allah
says. And this ayah, Allah is telling us to face a traumatic
experience, to face it, to deal with it, but deal with it with
faith and not let it change you.
And this is why the best people, the best people that ever lived,
the prophets themselves, Ali hemos latosa, every one of them are
victims of trauma, if you want to use psychological terms, every one
of them were surrounded by toxic people.
Every one of them have their boundaries crossed, every one of
them,
every last one of them, had to experience narcissism,
isn't it?
Didn't Ibrahim alaihi salam have a toxic father. Didn't Yusuf alaihi
salam have narcissistic brothers, didn't they?
I'm still traumatized about that. Let me repeat it again, as if it
happened, right? I didn't say it again. No, no, but it still hurts
me, though
I'm still traumatized, therefore I need to do dhikr of that all the
time. I need to give you Akbar about that all the time.
Allah says, if you can just turn the page that Allah is forgiving
too, maybe things will reconcile. Even in the worst case, there's
room for reconciliation. There's room to make things better. But if
the hearts are not, if you're too absorbed in yourself, you're not
going to look for a solution. The only thing that you want to serve
is your own, your wishes. And so this is the last thing I will
share with you, the direction that psychology is in going in now pop
psychology reminds me of the ayah of sun. Jatia, Ara, Aita manitaha,
ILAHA
wa abula, hola ho
Did you see someone who takes their feeling, their empty
feeling, and it turns the it, they turn it into their God.
Their god has become their feeling.
And Allah allows this person to be misguided, even though they have
knowledge Alain, they can know they can be a PhD, they can be a
doctor, they can be a professional, but they are being
led by their emotions, and they give themselves a new diagnosis
and give themselves other people a diagnosis, depending on how they
make them feel. Today, you're a narcissist. Tomorrow, you're an
abuser. The next day, you're a toxic person. The next day you're
this. The next day you're depressed, the next day you're you
know, you have attachment issues.
You just throw out these diagnoses, label people. Allah.
Allah.
Well, hatama, Allah.
You know Allah says, then this kind of a person, Allah, will put
a ceiling on their hearing. You know what that means? That means
doesn't matter if you try to reason with them, you cannot
reason with people who live by emotions. Many
of you have experienced this when people are living by their
emotions. If you're trying to be logical, it's like talking to a
wall,
but, but I feel, but I feel, but I feel. The feeling is That's
the God you know
that Allah places a cover over their hearts.
Who's going to guide them after Allah,
that ayah, that last part of that ayah, who will guide them after
Allah. You know what that means. They replaced Allah with their own
feelings.
That's why there's no more guidance for them, because their
ILA is actually Allah, but their Ilah became their Hawa. So Allah
says familia, who's going to guide them after Allah? After they
remove Allah from their hearts, what guidance can they have? On
the flip side, contemplates when as a person experiences difficulty
and trauma and actual difficulty in their life, whoever turns back
to Allah in faith Yati, kalbahu, Allah will guide that person's
heart. Allahu, Abu Asmaa knows everything. There's nothing Allah
doesn't know. May Allah guide our hearts and not allow us to become,
you know, worshipers of our own feelings and actually remain
worshipers of Allah in the depths of our hearts. And may Allah not
make us of those who easily pass judgment on others unjustifiably.
You know, I know this. The khutbah is already over. But one last
thing I will share with you, we cannot judge another person's
heart in Islam. I cannot point at you and say you're a munafi if you
have NIFA in your heart. I can't do it, but there's no way for me
to know. Even Allah did not let Musa know if it aun has kufr in
his heart or not.
La Allahu, Yakar, Awan Yasha,
go talk to him nicely. Kula, dahuka, Laina, both of you, go
talk to him nicely. Maybe he'll get reminder. Maybe there's some
part of his heart that can benefit from a reminder you don't know. Ya
Allah, spiraun, he kills babies.
Come on, come on, guys. Heart is made of some kind of special stone
that will never crack. No, no, no, you don't know. You don't get to
know. This is Allah telling Musa alai Salam, so I cannot judge
another person's heart, but in this new psychology, I can easily
judge another person's heart the moment I call somebody a
narcissist. I'm judging them for their arrogance the moment I call
somebody one of one of these terms, I'm not actually judging
their actions. I'm judging the state of their hearts. Be careful.
This is not something our deen allows, but we've made this a
normal practice because we're enamored by these terms. Now, if
you're going to understand these terms, if you're not a student of
the subject, don't do it. Don't misdiagnose yourself and
misdiagnose others. It's only creating a problem in our society
and in our families. Barak Allahu, Quran, ithaki, one of Ani wa ya
kumilla.
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