Nouman Ali Khan – Two Best Kinds Of Friends
AI: Summary ©
The conversation discusses the beautiful types of friends in the Quran, including chronic "by the way" and " Easter". It emphasizes the importance of avoiding regret and finding friendships based on proximity. The speakers also touch on the impact of loneliness on relationships and the need for people to be comfortable with themselves.
AI: Summary ©
And now, towards the end, I just have a couple of things to share with you. And the first of them is the two best kinds of friends mentioned in the Quran. From what I can study the best kinds of friends you can have, and therefore the best kinds of friends you can be.
One of them is 19. And the other is,
in the chronic sense. These two terms are two of the most beautiful, describing friendship and apply. So let's start with funda. cola is using the Quran for example with Wi Fi, you know, what?
Russia, fear a Day we'll be cautious of a day where you're not going to be able to nobody will benefit anybody else. Nobody will pay off anybody else's debts, you will not have any sales that day you will not have any friendship that day, that kind of friendship.
Another word like a lot of that comes from finance. When something goes through something. linguists argue that hola or Halina, someone who's penet, whose friendship penetrates deep into your heart, you have a deep seated love for a friend that you care about and miss so much when you're not with them necessarily. Like you're always thinking about them. And you you wish you were back with them. That kind of friend. And that's again, a rare kind of friendship, right? And this is the kind of friendship allows I just had with Ibrahim Alayhi Salam rahima kalila, who was a honey, honey salon. And then also in the Quran, Allah azza wa jal says, and you may even argue that friends, those kinds
of really close friends are at so much love for each other. Judgment Day comes in, they are enemies to each other.
They're enemies to each other. Except the only exception is an appeal. And those of you that are nothing students, you have an affinity for law with a Bama and the dean
has a very strong form of resistance not in the Arabic language exception. me the only possible exception to that is people who have protected themselves, meaning protected themselves from making the wrong kinds of friends. They everybody else, you can think you're the best friends man. This is my my ultimate friend. This you know, obviously in Americans my dog, you know, we don't i don't probably you don't probably say that here. That's
what you call me. I'm no longer your friend. You know, but that that kind of friend. Judgment Day comes and they're no longer friends. Except people. What does that mean? Make your friends based on how conscious of Allah they are?
You know, how responsible they are to their Deen to their family, things like that. My last couple of things in a long time.
Judgment Day comes around and a lot so it just says well, yo my elbow volume or a yaku yell at
me now.
The day of judgment comes around. And the wrongdoer is like chewing on his hands. He's like biting his hands out of frustration and saying, If only I took up a path alongside the messenger sallallahu wasallam. What is a path B is a very beautiful illustration in the Arabic language of a lifestyle. If I only had a lifestyle that is alongside parallel to the lifestyle of the messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and when you go on a path, when you go on a particular path, then you will find particular travelers with you on that path. Every road has different cars, right? You can't have every car and every road you take one road you only find certain cars on that road. When you're on
one flight you only find certain passengers on a certain flight. When you're on this path. There's only certain kinds of people that want that destination that you will find and those are the friends you'll end up making. When you this is a really powerful lesson in Milan because the next is Mr. Layton he lamotta
I don't even know that if there's another ayah in the Quran that has more hustler in it that this one yeah.
And then we nutana with a tea with a TA This is done for exaggerated.
And then on top of that more and more hassle and I keep saying the word like means regret this I have the command possibly the most regret anywhere in the command. The most the IRA filled with the most regret is about what I wish I didn't take so this guy as a friend.
I wish I didn't take it literally it says I wish I didn't take so and so as a friend. And a colleague I told you is someone you have deep seated love for and if you have so much love for them, you would know their name right? You would know their name. But judgment day comes in you have so much regret and so much hate that hate fills your heart so much. You can't even remember they're nice, they're just a full on to you.
That's the regret this person has the wisdom in these IRA account.
Possibly talking about all of the things in the IR. But just one thing. One thing I want to highlight, when you play a certain sport, you will make friends that also play that sport, you're going to go to the playground, you're going to find other people playing that sport, you'll make friends with them. When you play a certain video game, you'll find other people named the same video game, you'll make friends with you understand, we made friends based on proximity, especially around our interests. People that are interested in the same things that we are, we end up making closer and closer friends with and the bond strengthens. Right, you're on the same the same team every time
you cooperate with each other in an off the playground, and then you just kind of develop a bond. That's why teammates are really close friends, right? Or cadets in military school are really close friends because they do all the exercises together, and they develop a bond together right? Now, this is the kind of friendship that is being described in that when the man says
that if I only took up a path alongside the messenger, if you are really into something for the sake of Allah, you take up you join an organization, you help a project that is trying to do something to help society that's doing something to help people that's doing something to teach people Deen something, some good project, it doesn't necessarily have to be $1 project, it could be something that's just, it's good for the veteran people, for example, you know, it helps the youth like you know, Caroline, you're volunteering here, you know what's gonna happen, you're gonna start making friends that share the same concern. And as you get more involved in those activities, those are
some of the closest friendships you have, because those friendships were formed under the shade of Allah, like you came together because of the love, you came together because you want to be part of the legacy of the messenger sallallahu sallam. And then these friendships are formed. Some of the best friends like you know, when I teach in the United States at the dream program, the nine month program, the Arabic program, the one of the biggest advantages more than the Arabic education, the biggest gifts, the students leave with these each other. These are people that come from different states, sometimes even different countries, 30 Brothers, 30 sisters, and they're spending nine
months together almost living together. I mean, is they see each other more than they see their even their families, right, five, six hours a day they spend with each other. And by the end of it, every single graduation, there are grown men and women crying their face off, including myself, cuz we're gonna miss each other so much. It's such a bond is created, right? So that's what you want to do. You want to have friends that you formed because you share a mutual positive activity, you're part of something good. And you share an activity together. So that's, that's some things about funding and finally the messages. So I know it's been a long time. I know. You guys doing okay. Okay. Okay,
so the last one is
Luffy. First, I want to describe what a feat means. A feat in Arabic or
in Arabic also means comfort.
And a mitzvah is actually a pillow on your back. If your back is in pain, you put a small pillow to ease your pain, and also a cushion. You know, those small questions on the couch. They're also called Miss buck, because you lean on them, and you put your pressure on them, and they help you relax. on our feet is a friend that when you're stressed out, when you're in trouble, when you're having a hard time going to them is like comfort. They're like a pillow that you can lean on anytime. And by the way, when people are reclining on a pillow, are they sitting formally or informally? informally, they're relaxed. This is a friend, you don't have to act a certain way in
front of them. You don't have to be super formal, you'd have to watch what you say like super good, what are they gonna take this the wrong way and they're gonna get angry. If I say this, you can chill, you can relax with that kind of friend. You can just be be yourself. That sort of feet. Now, here's the here's the beautiful part of this.
If you just met me, right, and we're sitting in, you know, a guest room together, you're gonna act a little formal.
You're gonna sit like, very civilized, and somebody can bring them along and like, I will do that. But you will. Chances are
and I get that sometimes people get really, really formal around me because they get a little weird around me this guy have that effect on people apparently. Right?
So can you imagine that one day we're going to be engendered by Allah's mercy.
And we're sitting right next to him all day long.
And he's like, twirling his mustache. Like he used to do in the movie. So many should say that. He's just sitting there, and you're not going to be nervous.
I would think I'd be really nervous sitting around. I don't know. It'll be
like, you know what happened to me recently. I was in an elevator in Kuala Lumpur. I was in an elevator with Shanghai, the company and I didn't even know
we're going 17 floors up the elevator.
I'm super nervous. This is a shaky elevator, I gotta, I gotta behave myself. I mean, you can't do too many crazy things in an elevator. I mean, yeah, but you still get nervous, you know.
But the idea of, you know, just being super formal around someone, because they have a lot of respect for them. We do this without, in many cultures, we do this with our parents, right? If your dad walks into the house,
what was your
you know, like you stopped breathing properly. And he just, you know, that happens. But you know what, a lot of his origin describes one of the most beautiful woman you can
follow formula II command,
V dp.
This is the part of the IR that gets highlighted all the time, that those who will obey align the messenger are going to be among those that alleged special favor on they will be counted among which category, they will be in the ranks, and be able to have company with the prophets, those who confirm the truth in the prophets of Shahada, those who died for the sake of Allah and bear witness to the truth, and good people aside, these are the four categories at the bottom of which is the most number of sahid good people, right? Good people. And then at the end of it all says, well, hustle now karateka, what an awesome group of friends these people are, and what kind of friends
friends are comfortable around? Can you imagine being comfortable around us a little less?
Not being nervous? Can you imagine being comfortable around like the best of all, all the profits? Like you're hanging out with a salon and you're chillin on your pillow? Like, it's all good? You know, somehow, can you imagine that that's beyond our imagination, but Ally's giving us that gift in general. But the beauty of this ayah is that actually, it didn't restrict the conversation to gender. It didn't restrict it to gender,
that we can have that that live.
And also with each other Muslims with each other in this world, that we find good people that we are comfortable around, that we can be ourselves around that we don't have to be fake around. And we are super brands around and say things that are supposedly there to impress them, and we don't have to impress them with our epic tweets, and our ridiculous photos or whatever. We don't have to do that. They just think we can be ourselves with them and they're good people. They're slightly he adds a gift of a lot of the last thing I'm sharing with you this evening.
A lot of zodion talked about this in sort of uncovered one of my favorite suitors and the four answers to uncover the 29th Sora.
The 29th solarize Elite McKee sutra, a lot of young Sahaba were there in that struggle along the Prophet similar to them who lost their friends? parents didn't want to talk to them anymore. friends didn't want to talk to them anymore. They were getting boycotted only because they were Listen, you know, we're learning from that if the bet and they're the best people and they're really the best people and their boycotters. You know what that means? When you decide to take a turn in your life towards Allah, chances are, you will be boycotted by your friends. Chances are you will lose friends along the way. Chances are your people are not going to want to hang out with you anymore. You used
to hang out with your friends and do all kinds of things with them. Now you say no, no, I can't do that. I don't want to go there. I don't want to do this. You know? No, I'd rather not watch that. You know, you had a friend you guys used to talk about girls all the time. But then you some something came in you made a stepfather and he calls you again. Yo, bro guess when I saw? Guess who I just talked to? Like I don't want to talk about Okay. Well, what happened? What happened?
Well, you were okay with that last month. Yeah, that was last month. I'm not like that anymore. She Come on, really? And they're trying to really back in, right? But then you you just stop yourself and you stop yourself when you say no, no, I can't do that anymore. So you know what's gonna happen, they're gonna say You're no fun anymore.
It's no fun hanging out with you anymore. And they'll cut you out. Again, you don't give up on them, but they will have no reason to not give up on you will give up on you. And that kind of can make you really depressed. You can feel like I mean, ever since I started getting more serious about LSD. I started losing friends and friends are a big part of life. You it's a really valuable thing to have in life. Right? What are we going to do with our friends? You know, so what does the law say as a consolation to the Sahaba who are losing friends who are even losing family in some cases, their parents are giving up on them like San Diego Casa de la, right. What does the law say to them? He
says when are the
people who have in mind people who do good things. I will absolutely enter them. I will inject them. Absolutely no doubt about it into the company have the right to
The Ayah before I told you you will be one of the gifts of Allah is that you will find friends that you are comfortable with that are righteous, but genuine, deceive yourself, Am I gonna get those friends and this Allah tells us look, you lost friends, I see that you're isolated, you've been boycotted, I see that. You continue to believe in me and do the right thing. And you watch, I will put you in the middle of really good people.
I will do that for you.
He will enter you into good people's company here and in the next day. What more can we ask for? And I can tell you this is an absolute fact, it's an absolute fact, my the organization I represent, for example,
is not a one man show. It's not just me, actually, most of the things that get done in my organization, almost all of the things that can get done in vain I get done by someone other than myself. I am actually the one who does the least amount of work at organization. Everybody else does the work. But a lot has put people in my path that I couldn't, I couldn't possibly have found them through a job search or through like, I need some good volunteers and things. They'll not put them in my path. And they're priceless people to me, they're the most valuable people to me, you know, and some of them are friends. Some of them are employees and even as employees, they're friends. And
they're they're the most valuable assets you can imagine. People that are in business can testify people that are in business know, the hardest thing you can find is people you can trust a business partner, you can trust an employee you can trust, you know, it's the hardest thing to find and alive saying you just tried to do the right thing. And I will I will give you that I'll give you the ultimate gift of great friends. And that's really what we want. We want the the Salatin to be our friends the good people to be our friends righteous people to be our friends so that that comfort we have with them in this dunya doesn't disappear the
you know Allah Allah you know
already said that friends will be enemies on that day. People are gonna run from each other on that day but not these people inland nothing except people of the court so that's really my hope for myself and for all of you. Be on the lookout for good friends But more than that, you be the good friend yourself you be a source of good influence. Don't be a consumer nobody's good friends with me therefore I messed up well, why aren't you yourself a sources witness? Why aren't you take leading the way? Why aren't you the first to say no, no, no, I'm not impressed by the hype.
You know, I'm gonna be who I am. I'm comfortable with who I am. I don't have to fake my fake it and try to be someone I'm not you know,