Nouman Ali Khan – Timeless Manners

			He says yeah you Halina Amanullah, that Hulu Turner aw Tico had that initial, he says those of you
who have faith, those of you who claim to believe, don't enter homes that are not your own, unless
you can sense that you are wanted. Now the basic idea is, obviously you don't walk into somebody
else's house until you ring the bell, or until you knock on the door. Or even if you see the door
open, you don't just walk in. Right, that's, that's crazy. But that's actually happened to me. But
you know, somebody, I used to live next door to a masjid and I used to get called by there
regularly. And I live next door. And my door was half a little bit open because my my daughter was
		

			playing and she was going in and out. So she left at half open. And some fellow just literally
walked into my house, just all the way and I'm looking for another new one.
		

			And the first thing I did is push him out of my house and closed the door behind him. And I said
that's not what you do. This is not a restaurant. This is not this is not a machine. This is not an
airport is not a public building. It's somebody's house, they deserve privacy. Right. So you can't
just walk into somebody's home. Obviously, that's not some Islamic rule. That's just everybody knows
that it's common sense. But Allah goes a step above, not just saying you should knock on the door,
or you should get permission before you enter or nowadays ring the bell or whatever else right? Or
you know the buzzer, or show yourself on the camera, whatever way you have of getting inside. But
		

			instead, he adds not had that Dino until you seek permission, which is obvious. He said hit that
knee. So until you can sense that you are wanted. In other words, you have a friend, you know that
he goes to work comes home at eight o'clock, he's probably tired, then he's gonna have dinner, maybe
some time with his family. And by 10 o'clock, he's probably going to pass out, you should have the
sense to know that at two in the morning, you should not be Hey, bro, I was wondering if you want to
hang out and go outside his house and knock on his door. And then when he comes out like this, you'd
say it's not a bad time, right?
		

			You should have the common sense to know that that's not a time when you are wanting that's not an
appropriate time. Or for, for instance, you know that the husband is at work, or they're gone.
That's not a time for you to show up when you know only the wife is at home, or only the kids are at
home, and then show up and say hey, I wanted to drop something off, you know, drop it off at a time
when you're actually wanted. So first of all have the sense of when is it appropriate to go to
somebody's home. The remarkable thing, you know, there are multiple words in Arabic for homes, you
can say Masakan, you can say der, you can also say boo youth. And the word bait, which is a common
		

			word for home actually comes from the verb data. And butter means to spend the night. Okay, so if
somebody engages in the act of bait, it means they spent the night somewhere our home is called our
home, because we spend the night there. And the idea behind the word bait is the night is a time for
great privacy. Even the sky offers us privacy at night. So the idea being not just that you don't go
to somebody's home when you're not wanted, but actually don't enter into people's privacy. When you
know it's not wanted, don't pry into people's lives by showing up or by poking. Nowadays, our homes
are also virtual, for example, it's not just that you have a home with a door and curtains on the
		

			window that protects your privacy. Now your home is on your phone, you're dealing with home matters
on your phone, you're talking to somebody, you're exchanging WhatsApp messages, or whatever. And
your friend comes over from behind your shoulder and he's like,
		

			you know, just kind of poking over what you're doing.
		

			That's private, that's part of their home. Now, don't just peek into somebody else's private matters
unless you are what your wanted, unless it's wanted of you. So the idea of preserving privacy of the
other, the idea of preserving privacy of the other is where this conversation starts. That's not the
only instruction in desire. It's the first instruction of desire. And it's actually means that you
shouldn't you should you know, your circle, the people you are involved with the people whose homes
you go to the people, you're befriending the people you talk to all the time, they are people, the
kinds of questions you ask them, or the kinds of conversations you you have with them, you should
		

			have the sense to know should I even be asking this question? Is that is that a wanted question?
Like, you know, some people, they'll, they'll go to a married couple that's been married for a few
years and algorithms. So when you're going to have a baby,
		

			right? Is that Is that a question they want? Is that something they want to hear? You know, or when
you get when you're once your daughter's gonna get married? God is he's getting old. You know, is
that a wanted question? You know, or you know, somebody's been out of a job so still no job, huh?
		

			These are not wanted questions, you should have the sense that if they let you into their home, they
let you into their safe place, that your tongue and your eyes are actually not going to cause them
any harm. That the things you say that the conversations you have are safe for them. That's why they
let you into their sanctuary. So people within a certain circle in your life, you have to be safe
for them, and they have to be safe for you. Now the thing with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam is people loved him so much, that they almost forgot that he's also a person.
		

			Though when they see him, they just want to ask him a question. Right? It doesn't matter how tired
he is, or what he just came from, or how many things he's just dealt with. They just want to talk to
him. So Sahaba would come over to his house all the time. And when you're sitting with the prophets,
why Selim you don't want to leave, right? You just want to stay and the prophets why Selim is too
nice to tell them to leave. So they're sitting there, and they're talking to the Prophet sites on
and he's answering them, and he's talking back to them, and he's giving them responses and he's
being courteous host. Until Quran came and said, Get out. You're disturbing Allah's Messenger. He
		

			was too nice to say it himself. He wouldn't say it himself. And Allah revealed to the Sahaba you
can't do that to him, You need to leave. You need to observe his privacy to you need to observe his
courtesy also, you know, similarly in social gatherings, let me tell you this simple etiquette of
this estate NAS Allah says this about people going into people's homes, but it goes further than
that. Like, for example, if you're, you know, you're sitting at a dinner, two people are having a
conversation, right? And there's a lot of people having different conversations, but two people are
having a conversation. And you see this one of these people is someone you know, what do you do? You
		

			interrupt their conversation as they go.
		

			And the person they're already talking to her like what just happened? And they don't get us alarm?
Because you don't know them? This will this one gets a setup and you start a new conversation with
them. As if that conversation didn't matter. There was no estate NAS, there was no courtesy or is
this wanted right now? Is this interruption, okay? Because you can let them know that you're here.
They have peripheral vision, they can see that you're there. And they can say to the friend they're
having a conversation with Hold on a second, let me just say salaam to this one. I know him or I
know her and they say Salaam and then they come back to this conversation. That's courtesy, isn't
		

			it? So the idea of hepatitis tetanus is a very powerful one. It's actually taking into consideration
are am i Are you being disruptive? Are we being rude? Are we being intrusive? Are we too curious
about somebody else's personal life? When we're having conversations with them? Are we saying things
that are not they wouldn't want us to say those kinds of things are asked us those kinds of
questions. That's actually part of the sense that's captured inside that destiny.
		

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