Nouman Ali Khan – Pride, Confidence & Humility
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the use of words like "median" and "has" in Arabic to describe experiences outside of the university. They also touch on the importance of perception and finding a person who is truly in a relationship. The speakers emphasize the need to stay away from false positives and find a person who is truly in a relationship.
AI: Summary ©
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to you about these, this phrase that doesn't just occur here, it occurs elsewhere too. So I think it's the first thing to note is the importance of that. Here he says will love without him bucola
Allah does not love any of the people who are two things. They're the Arabic words are more style and for whole so we're gonna dig into those words. But it's really interesting that those words have been said by Allah Himself in other places. Why is that important? Because here Allah is quoting a human being Allah saying that he granted Lockman wisdom. And he said that, and in other places, it's Allah Himself saying that. So there's a difference between when a law speaks and when a human being is being cited by the Quran endorsed. And you would think first somebody learns the words from a large soldier, and then they you know that then they re reiterate them. But you've got the reverse
here that inspired this person to share these words. And then later on Allah Himself, is endorsing those words as officially his also. So it's not just wisdom he gave to this one man and his son to be imparted to his son, but it's actually something that's universal. So it's a pretty powerful thing when these are called the colossal endocrine, meaning ends of IOD that are often coined and they get repeated. Many of you are familiar with hula, hula, hula Rahim, for example, right? Those are for what they're called ferocity that the facet of the ayah, the far end of the ayah. Right. So some of these fossil endocrine are a way of teaching us. It's most standard teachings. Think of them
think of these philosophy like the pillars of a building, right? So your every you've got walls, you've got windows, you've got all kinds of elements in construction, but every every few meters or every few feet, you got to run into a structural column, or a pillar of some kind or a structural beam even going horizontally across these endings. These statements in the Quran, like La La Quinta, taco, or Allahu hibel. Merci de la foto Rahim, those statements aren't just conclusions to the fact that he repeated so much are actually you can think of them as those are the foundational teachings. Those are the structural columns of this building of the Quran. And that's why they get repeated so
much. They're holding all the other teachings together. Right? So that's, that's a really good way to think about these philosophy and when some of them are more repeated, others are less repeated, right. So this is one of the lesser repeated ones. But nonetheless, when something does get repeated, we know that it's something that deserves extra attention.
didn't just save once he repeated it multiple times. Now, let's think about these two words a little bit. The first of these words is most often. And it's, you know, if you look at the etymology, the root of this word, hail is a very common word in Arabic for a beautiful horse. So horses because they were the obsession of ancient Arabs had many words. So when the Arabs are obsessed with something, they have lots of words for them. I'm not very familiar with, you know, modern speak anymore among among, especially among teenagers, the vocabulary changes dramatically. But a car for example, a nice car can have multiple names, you know, it's not just a ride or a vehicle, it could
be a whip, or it could be a whatever else, right? So it could be, you know, someone who's really in tune with the streets can tell you 20 words for a car, right, and then they know each one. And this is actually a natural thing. So the Arabs are not some like geeky people that have exhaustive vocabulary that's complicated. They're just, they're people that experience life they live outside, they're not people of the library in the university, they live in the desert. But first things that they appreciated, they had lots of words for them. And one of those words of you see the Ferrari of the time, lots of horsepower is single horsepower, it's a horse, right, and so an Arabian horse like
that, you know, so those horses, they had lots of different words illustrating different qualities of them. And this, this word is really interesting for the horse, as he put on uses it for, for the, for the horse, too. And horses as a category. Because it this, these letters, will also give us the Arabic word hyaena.
And hayan, which came into other languages, after two is actually the word for imagination, is the is the word for thought. So to highlight, even in modern Arabic, today, the higher is imagine, just imagine something, right? So the idea that this horse is as beautiful as you could imagine, or it captures the imagination of someone, or you know, when you look at something, and it takes you into a different world, right? Like when you feel trapped, if you're driving, and you passed by just this gorgeous house. And for a few seconds, you started imagining what it would be like to live in it.
Right. Or if you take your if you make the mistake of taking your kids over to like a toy store, you know, and because every aisle they're going through their life is changing, because they're seeing it because their eyes only fall on the expensive toys, right? They're not looking at the 99 cent, they're not looking at that they're looking at the big boxes that are, you know, these stores are really smart, too, they put the most expensive toys at the bottom most accessible. And what's really cheap stuff with the tower kids can't see it. So the kids height is all the $200 LEGO sets, you know, and the kids looking at it and imagining their life transformed as they build this police
station home or something, you know, so the idea that when you see something, and it captures your imagination, is actually embedded inside the word hide. Like it's the, it's the desire of everything. They're fantasizing about writing, writing that kind of horse, right? They're daydreaming about it. So it's a dream, a dream car, right? So it's the dream ride. Now, the this word then also started getting used in the in the robber FTL family, for STL when someone has a very imaginative view of themselves, you know, have you ever heard the expression get off your high horse, it's actually that in a very real sense, when someone starts imagining themselves to be
someone, they're actually not. When someone has a false perception of themselves. It's as if they're not seeing their real self, they're seeing their imagined self. That's a crazy thing. You know, when you look in the mirror, you see yourself, but actually what the
phenomenon in the world is, sometimes there's your real self. And there's the self that you want everybody else to see. There's a self that you want everybody else to be impressed with. Right or the way you're the way you speak when you're on your own the way you feel. You can be someone very scared and vulnerable. And you could be someone very shy and you know, someone not very sure of themselves, not very confident. But when you're among your friends, you're outspoken and you're loud, and you're aggressive and you're you're just a completely different person who's become a different person. You might have friends like that, when they're with you. They're totally normal
and then when you see them with their other friends, they become a different creature. They transform themselves completely, because they allow others the impression they want to give to others to start shaping them. And when you do that enough times when you let other people define how you should dress, how you should talk, how you should behave. Then you start imagining a version of yourself that they will like that
We'll be cooler, right? And when you do that, pretend enough times, then the real us starts getting suffocated. And all you see is the pretend you. And the difference between the real you and the pretend you is a pretty big difference. And what's the biggest difference? The biggest difference between these two? Is that the real you actually cares about what's right and wrong. That's the ruhollah put inside you, the real you actually is concerned about what is what is beneficial and what is harmful. What makes sense and what doesn't make sense. Not just even in the religious sense in life, the real you as a sensible, thoughtful, emotionally sensitive human being. You're a caring
human being, but this fake self, this imagined self, this mortal self, this version of you, the only concern it has is what are people gonna think?
How will this be perceived. So the only the only actions are so much of their actions are, or that person's actions that lives inside you the most time are based on what impression Am I going to give? If I dress like this, if I talk like this, if I hang out with this person, oh, sorry, I can't be sitting next to you because it looks bad. Or I can't say that, because that looks bad. Or I can't dress like that. Because that I'm not sure if that's okay. And that can become so powerful that you can have for example, you know, there was a time for example, even in Western societies, where modesty for women's clothing was actually the norm. Right. And there were actually you know,
citations, and even in churches, people look down upon if they were dressed into exposed and things like that that's not Muslim society. That's Christian, even Jewish societies, right.
And then, with the modern with the advent of post modernism, and as the world transforms, now you have, for example, the dress code at a beach. Right? And at a beach, people are practically not wearing any clothes.
And when you go there, now, the mindset was so changed that if you are dressed at a beach, you're made to feel weird. What are you doing? Why aren't you naked? Why aren't you practically naked?
You know, why aren't you in your undergarments, because this is the place that's normal here. In other words, perceptions of people, the same clothes, if you were one mile, that way, you'd be humiliated. If you were in an office, you wouldn't imagine yourself that way. If you were at an airport, you'd be disgraced. But you tell yourself, this is normal. Here.
It's same you it's human eyes looking at you. You're in the public sphere, nothing's actually changed other than sand and water. Right. But the imagine self is so powerful that it can make you leave your values. Something that even from a non Muslim point of view, you were uncomfortable with it anywhere else, you became comfortable with it. Because the perception and perception is really important. And that book done can actually drive so much of a person's life and people realize it's a it's a really powerful thing to want to impress others. Right? There's a reason that when teenagers become more self aware, they spend a lot of time in the mirror. They spend a lot of time
in front of the mirror boys and girls. Right? When the kids are younger, they're like,
brushing their teeth, or hairs going all over the place. I don't care. You know, they're gonna wear the same shirt and they mumble. Is that the same shirt from last week?
I need to take you to a haircut or a haircut. I don't want to go. Right. But then as they get older and become more self aware, now they're like, how are people seeing me? Are people gonna comment on my clothes, or my shoes, or my backpack on my socks?
Every now everything is about my impression, my appearance is being taken into consideration. The word war style actually suggests that it this is someone who lives only for the to maintain a perception and an image. They're no longer authentic. They if they can even be true to themselves, how can they be true to anybody else? How can they even appreciate truth itself? The thing about truth, by the way, is that it's always uncomfortable.
truth always make somebody uncomfortable. Truth is always a difficult pill to swallow. So by definition, truth is not good for your public image.
Truth is not good for you for how people might perceive you go with the flow. Now that's way easier. You understand profits on a Masato Salaam were the most humiliated people in the world by their own nations because they wouldn't let go of the truth.
And some of the most, the people that enjoy the most prestige and people that enjoy the most high class in society, you'll notice something lying and making sure perception and PR is their top priority are people that they see that that is the key to their success. That's like they associate that with their success.
So what is it that you know what it is what, why I'm taking the time to explain this to you for what basic reason. The basic reason is, when you have that mo higher than that imagined version of yourself that wants to impress others, your goal becomes to acquire the love of people.
Your goal has become to acquire the love of people with that in mind, listen to what Allah says, while law who lie you have bucola masala
alive. In fact, he doesn't love anybody who's most that
he's not going to give his loves to someone who is obsessed with giving their love. They're obsessed with running after the love of everyone else.
So there's, there's a remarkable statement here of why we're not even getting a foothold yet, because Ally's drawing a contrast subhana wa Tada. It's also important to note that this is the agenda is me, but then I won't get too grammatical with you. But the point is at least back to allocated file, which in Simple English means. It isn't Allah who loves people like that, but others do.
There are others who will feed your fake self, there are others who will put thumbs up on your, you know, filtered pictures. And there are others who are going to comment and boast and further that, that fake version, encourage that fake version to keep going to feed it even more and more. And it becomes a self fulfilling propelling thing. You know, and now that love and media have people that just you know, especially now in the world of social media, it's all about perception, isn't it? It's all about image. Right? And what happens, these people that are so obsessed with their image and coming across a certain way, then somebody secretly video recorded them in a conversation
somewhere where their real self, which they've been starving, the and the real, what the real self of you has kindness in it has mercy and it has fairness and it has courtesy has these good qualities in it right? But when you keep starving it, those qualities start disappearing. So your real self becomes ugly, the more your fake self is beautified. Somebody secretly recorded the real ugly self. And then they're getting slammed online and exposed for who they really are all this stuff because there was there was no feeding being done to the inner self. Right? That wasn't being done. But this, people like that they all gain massive followings and say I love all you guys. I love all my
fans. You don't. You don't love any of them. If any of them were in pain, you'd feel pain. What's the definition of Love, Love means you want good for someone else. What's the definition of the love of a mother for a child? She wants to protect the child she wants to make sure the child is being taken care of. She wants well being for the child she wants good for their future. That's love, isn't it?
Love isn't I love you now praise me. I love you for praising me.
I love you for complimenting me, that's my love for you. Thank you so much.
None of this is real. All of this is fake, fake on top of fake on top of fake. And he this father tells his son when you go out there, a lot of people will live that fake life. And they feed each other that fake life. When you're going to go out there, you're going to meet a lot of those people. And that's why long wood. Oh, good luck. McDonald cola is actually for Jamia, right for for a large group all our every. So he's saying you're gonna learn Intel a lot of people like that in life. And you might become one of those two, you might have you and I all of us have an element of that in us. But it's got to stay under control until it doesn't become us. It doesn't take over.
Then the next quality that Allah mentions, it's almost as if you know how a disease evolves, and become mutates. And, you know, you can go you have you can have somebody who has like a disease at stage one, and they can go to stage two and stage three like that it gets worse and worse and worse. So from within, which is an essence isn't fun. Now we get to the word for who which is actually similar to the mobile lava which is actually a hyperbolized noun, an extreme noun. So when you see words that sound like foothold in Arabic, like shockula is extremely grateful. Right or her food is extremely forgiving. of Allah name extremely forgiving. Okay, so here all we're doing is extremely
loving one of the last names and what dude, like extremely loving. So here you've got the hook, which is extremely now what how do we translate that you can say extremely prideful? Well, one way you can think about that is extremely prideful. So let's dig into this word just a little bit. really fascinating word.
They say nothing Latin for for a limited leader to serve. When you have a palm tree that's very thick. Like if you look at the just the bark of it, you didn't even look up right because the the real stuff in the palm trees at the top right. When you look at the base of the palm tree and the stem of the palm tree, the body
Have that tree, it's really thick, you're like, wow, this is nice. And actually when you can't really tell the quality of the tree until you make the effort to climb all the way to the top. And when you get to the top, the the meaning of it is valuable to serve meaning that the leaves are hard, dried up, meaning it has no life. It can't give any fruit. It looks so big and impressive. It gave the impression that it's so incredible, but it's actually dead. It can't give me any fruit. That that's the word for who word for it palm tree. There
are there's actually others are watermelon, even.
They say the food is used for camels to a limited kalila to 11. When when camels gave birth, then they look like they're going to give a lot of milk then their body inflates. Right. And there are others in Flink. So they look like the babies can drink a lot of milk from it. But the kind of camel that would have large others and its babies would come to drink milk come in, but no milk is coming out of it. They would call that for hood, meaning it looks so impressive that it's going to give so much milk, but nothing's coming out. And even the the camel owner was hoping that they can store some milk and you know, replenish themselves feed their families, all this stuff, but nothing's
coming out of it. So it was a false advertising kind of thing. So you see the commonality between the tree and the camel so far in the word for hood. Similarly,
they use this word for
booster elvina lo and Lana one low when they have a big, big date. You know, normally dates are smaller size, but some are really, you know, big. And when you have a bigger date, they're like, man, if I get the seed from this day, and I can plant it and grow that tree, I'm going to get a lot more big dates, right. So when they open up that date, and there's no seat inside. So it looks like it's gonna have but it doesn't have inside. So the common and from a Kindle word for hot, which is pottery, which is soil, which is so rich, but when it becomes dry, then it becomes pottery, right? And it looks so hard and it looks so solid. But pottery is one of the weakest solids in existence, a
little small drop and what's going to happen to it, it's going to smash into pieces, right? So it's actually becomes and so much thick, heavy soil goes into it. But by the time it's dried up and turned into powder, it becomes very light and brittle. So in all the idea for who first and foremost is a person who looks very impressive. Who gives the impression of being very impressive, and shows off how impressive they are, facade actually became one of the words for pride. Right. And this is different from arrogance, maybe next club when we get to that next I'll share that difference with you too. But for now, at least what I'd like you to get get get through is Allah doesn't love this
quality. Now what is this quality? This quality is someone who knows they have nothing on the inside.
Their real self has nothing actually to offer. But they really want people to be impressed with them. Right. So first, they let others dictate their perception of themselves. And now they want to present this out this disguise. They're literally wearing a disguise now, because of that imagine self and they, they're inflating it constantly, constantly, constantly. And this kind of a person is for hold. This is why the people that are the most obscene. And the people that are the most condescending, they talk down to others, etc, are usually the people that are the most insecure themselves. Like deep down inside, they're really scared that somebody might discover their real
self. And that's the, it's just in the words themselves. Allah has exposed what forhold is. Because you know, when you come to a new society, like when you guys go to school, and you see those kids that are like dress cooler, and they're talking, they're more popular, and everybody looks like Man, I wish I could be in that still on that table. I wish you could be with them.
There's a cool ones, you know what it was basically exposing that each one of them is trying really hard to hide what they really are. Each one of them is showing you a disguise. And you're just impressed with what you see on the outside. But when when the real when when when you know when when the situation arrives, arises that the union that they have disappears. Those are not real relationships, because those people aren't even real with themselves. They can't be real with you. So when time comes in, you're in trouble. They disappear.
You know, the most genuine friends you will have are people that don't have these qualities. And he's actually saying, by the way, when we as a believer, we love what Allah loves, we hate hates. When Allah says Allah doesn't love these kinds of people. He's not just telling us don't become this kind of person. He's also telling us he didn't say Allah hates those people. He says I
doesn't love those people there's a difference. Why not? So Allah didn't say he hates he says he doesn't love, which means I need to stop being in love with that kind of an environment.
I need to get myself out of this fake scene. I need to put myself in an environment that Allah loves around people that Allah would love me for it to be around. I need to assess, am I just going to party after party after some people like live the the gatherings like the weddings, parties life, other people live the club scene or whatever, other people live the, you know, college party scene, or just like the Hangout, right? In any one of those there can be genuine guest gatherings. And then they're just everybody's just dressed pretend how happy they are. Right? It was a family fighting each other to death, on the way to the wedding dress the most beautiful they've ever dressed.
Everybody's yelling at everybody. And then when they get there, and think this happy pictures,
you know, beautiful memories. And when they think about that wedding, all they're thinking about as well was that was one of the worst nights of my life. Remember what you said to me in the car? Remember what you did? Yeah, you look really nice, though.
Looks look one way on the outside, and something else on the inside. And Allah says he doesn't love that about an individual. So this is not for me to comment on everybody and what they're like, first of all it is do I have that inside myself? Do I have that inside myself? And if I sense that that's the prayer that's become the priority, if all the conversations about what kind of clothes Where did you get that made? What did you What are you wearing? Hey, I saw you got a new car, or you move to that neighborhood. Shallow things, material things, you know, things that don't in the end won't matter. As opposed to us sitting and having a meaningful, rich conversation about something that
actually matters. Something that actually helps someone that actually that actually helps someone broaden their understanding about something. We all know the difference between real conversation, meaningful conversation and meaningless conversation. That's powerful advice from Allah. Allahu Allah, your head bucola Mustang for hood. Finally, I'll share with you by using the word la you hibou Allah has given us kind of an era In this ayah that these are things that are easy to fall in love with.
And like it, there's an attractiveness to them. There's a magnetic field in that environment. Once you get sucked in, it's hard to pull yourself out. Right? And so Allah is actually saying implying here, when you start the only way to pull yourself out is you develop in yourself in need to make yourself feel loved by Allah. Like you have to feel the need a lot I really want I don't want to be any kind of person that you don't love.
And then how do you get a lot of love you it's pretty easy. I love to save climb this mountain and I will love you and do this this this and I will love you I love these out the formula so simple. Just don't do this. I automatic I already love you. Just don't lose my love.
Right? It's not you don't have to earn a less love. Just don't earn earn it.
That's the beauty of the phrase, right? Everybody else, you have to work to earn their love with a lot of love of allies already there. It's just don't do it. Don't disqualify yourself from it, maintain it, just stay away from these poisonous things that hurt you. And why would Allah not love someone we use? What kind of God doesn't love his creation? No, the point is that if you don't have a genuine relationship with yourself, then you're not even in touch with I'm not even in touch with my own heart. And a lot of the love of a lot is felt inside the heart
of the matter that
at the end of it all what this boils down to is where we stand in the state of affairs of our own hearts, and larussa which will give us clean hearts, and they allow us to remove from us the need to be prideful to show off. I actually didn't get to address the three things that I put in the title of this clip. But you know, pride I talked about pride, but it talks about confidence and humility. So I'll leave that off for inshallah, next holder, because all those three things should be looked at comprehensively. And this passage does a remarkable job of tying all of those three things together. So with that I completed the whole debacle of hacking whenever anyone here can be it when
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