Nouman Ali Khan – From Darkness towards Light A Complicated Journey

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			today's Hoba is going to be about, you may have guessed the conclusion of the month of Ramadan. And
just some things that I think need to be highlighted for all of us to be in the right kind of
mindset. I think we're used to hearing about making the most of this time and not getting lazy and
not allowing the exhaustion from the first few weeks of Ramadan to allow us to waste these few
precious moments that we have left and to really make the most of them. We're going to try to take a
couple of further steps today and get myself I want to give myself and I get one and give all of you
also kind of a reality check about the merits of Ramadan and what we should be really thinking
		

			about. So it's I want to start from the commonplace. I think many of you have already heard many
times, several narrations about the benefits and the merits of Ramadan. For example, if somebody
prays in Ramadan and fast in Ramadan, you know Iman and YT seven Hoefler the whole matter can be
that they they pray and they they fast with faith, and they're mindful, and they watch themselves
and all of their previous sins are going to get forgiven. So the concept, the first concept that I
want to try and clarify in this codebook, for myself, and for all of you is actually the concept of
forgiveness in Ramadan. This first and foremost, there are some things that even early scholars and
		

			Muslims have agreed on when it comes to these ayat. And that is that there's a principle in the
Quran in Al Hasan that you'll have a say good deeds, they get rid of bad deeds. That's something
Allah has revealed himself good deeds, get rid of bad deeds. So if I've done some I've missed some
prayers. Or I, you know, I forgot to do some, some vicar or had some some fault in my Bible do or
there was something wrong in my worship to Allah in some way. Like Allah obligates me to certain
things, and I wasn't able to keep up with it, or certain things Allah made haram for me, and I
didn't keep up with that. And I fell short of the expectation Allah has from me, so I sinned against
		

			Allah in some way. Those small deeds are small mistakes, they pile up, they can add up right and
every one of our good deeds, they get rid of that pile. They took from prayer to prayer from the
Lord to answer. Maybe I made some mistakes along the way. And I have faults with a lie along the
way. And by the time I pray the answer prayer, it's getting rid of some of those smaller sins that
I've done. So Ramadan is the ultimate time to get rid of
		

			The yours pile, there's so much piled up. And now there's a there's an opportunity Allah has given
us the entire hours that you're fasting, every second of that is worship. Like, think about that
when you when you're praying, there's a few minutes that you're standing into prayer and sitting and
doing sujood. Those are a few minutes of worship. But fasting is from the time the fast started till
the time, the fast ended, whether whether you were working, or you were sleeping, or you were
studying, or you were just talking, or cooking, whatever you were doing, that was still worship, it
was 100%, every one of those seconds was a good deed. And every one of those seconds was getting rid
		

			of something from my record that could be held against me on Judgement Day. So that's actually one
of the most profound things about this month is that the amount of good deed that Allah by His fever
has given us is remarkable. But at the same time, there are some important disclaimers, you know,
like when you sign a contract, there's fine print underneath, right, and a lot of people who don't
pay attention to the fine print, if I just say, all my previous sins are going to be forgiven,
that's a problem. So I'm gonna give you a scenario and I'm not saying this is your scenario, but a
scenario. Let's just say there's a son, and he's extremely disrespectful to his father. Right. He
		

			talks back to his father yells at his father doesn't doesn't acknowledge his father, right? And is
ungrateful to him and raises his voice at a more dismisses him or doesn't return his calls, whatever
he does, okay? Now, this is something that's not just a crime against Allah, because Allah says what
will validate the Sunnah. It's also a crime against that Father. Now, this son decides that he's
going to fast in Ramadan, he's going to do tahajjud every night, he's going to recite more Quran
than ever before. He's going to cry to Allah and the prayer and do of God and do DUA and all of it.
He's even going to get save some money up and go do aamra In the last 10 nights of Ramadan, and he's
		

			doing a kick off at the haram. This is pretty amazing, bonus rounds of good deeds, but he still
doesn't return his dad's calls. He doesn't he doesn't respond back to him. He's still disrespectful
to his father. Right? And in his mind, that's okay, because I'm doing so much good over here. That
is one problem. Oh, Allah knows. It's okay. It'll get covered. No, it won't. That is not what this
religion teaches. That is a very common misconception. The same way, somebody borrowed money, and
they have the money to pay it back. They didn't want to pay it back. They decided, hey, don't call
me again, don't harass me, I'm not gonna pay you the rent no matter what, get a lawyer. And the guy
		

			is not paying his rent. But that same guy who's not paying his rent as at the masjid every day, he's
called all the taraweeh every key, he did the air to cover it all the worst of all, the fact that
you still not paying his rent to the landlord, even though you can.
		

			And in his mind, that's okay. Because I'm doing these good deeds. So it's gonna get rid of that bad
deed. No, in our religion, when I do something wrong to another human being, then I'm responsible to
that human being, at least in two ways.
		

			I have one, I have to fix it, which Allah calls is law hadn't been a nurse, right? Or he mentions
the word of Slacko multiple times in the Quran. Okay, and it's law has one, you created a problem.
Now you're going to fix the problem. Part of I can't sincerely ask Allah for forgiveness. If I'm not
even sorry for my crimes. I can't do that. So now I have to go and apologize, or I have to not
apologize. That's the second thing, I have to fix the problem. If I didn't pay the rent, I better go
pay the rent.
		

			I better go do that. If I haven't been respectful to my dad, I better start being respectful. I, it
doesn't solve the previous problem. But at least I fixed the problem. fixing the problem. That's the
first thing. The second thing is if I offended someone, if I spoke ill against someone. If it was
backbiting against someone, somebody wasn't there, I was saying bad things about them. And so if I
have a problem with somebody, I should man up and call them and say, Hey, I don't like you. I have a
problem with you. I don't I don't like that you do this, this and this. I disagree with you. I think
you're a liar. I think you're a thief. You know, what if you're man enough to do that, do it.
		

			But if you don't have the spine, and you want to call everybody else and talk about it,
		

			instead of talking to them, as if they have their doors closed, they can't be accessed. And you're
you're backbiting about them, then a slug would be you know, I've been saying some pretty bad things
about you. I still believe them. But at least I'm going to talk to you about it now instead of
talking to somebody else. That's what I'm going to do first. This is a slot. I'm going to fix the
problem first. But then there's the next step. Okay, maybe I did do something wrong. Maybe I didn't
do backbiting I did didn't pay the rent. It was disrespectful to my dad, whatever it may be. Now
there's the matter of asking for forgiveness, too. I have to ask this person. Hey, I'm sorry. I did
		

			that.
		

			I wronged you, I said things about you, I shouldn't have said I did I did something I shouldn't have
done. I didn't pay you, I owed you money. I didn't pay you on purpose, and I cause you pain. You
know, I damaged your business. I didn't, I didn't like you. So I gave you a restaurant a bad review.
And I made sure that your business goes down because I just didn't like your face, or whatever. Now
I'm sorry, I did that. So you apologize. But there's a there's a problem. Now. We make a step far to
Allah hundreds of times, hundreds of times, multiple times, there is still far to Allah in our
Salawat. There's just a fire to a laughter of you prayer. We're asking Allah to forgive all the
		

			time.
		

			Well, what about people? Let's say you hurt one of your friends. And your friend says, Hey, man, I'm
sorry. Yeah, I'm not gonna forgive you. I'll see you on Judgement Day.
		

			Like, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't want to hear it. You're not really that sorry.
		

			And then you say, sorry, you get no, you're not sorry. No, no, that's not good enough. You think
that's good enough. You think you can just say sorry? And that's you goes away.
		

			Now this person is not willing to forgive you. Does that happen? Yeah. Now you did this law. You
tried to fix the problem. And you also tried to ask for forgiveness. So you did that. But this
person is not willing to forgive you. They're not letting go. And they say, No, I'll see you on
Judgement Day, I'm gonna ask Allah to give me justice. I don't want your Islam. I don't want you to
fix the price. I don't care if you fix the problem or not. And I don't want to hear anything from
you. And that is a very common reality in the world. At that point, what are you supposed to do? The
first thing I want to remind myself and you have is, we don't beg anyone other than Allah. Allah did
		

			not make human beings someone to beg another human being the only one we become humble before and
fall before and cry before and beg for forgiveness is Allah.
		

			But then after that, let's say I was wrong, I wrong my mother wrong. My father, I shouldn't be
humble before them, and begged them for forgiveness. But how many times is the question with Allah,
I make a step far hundreds of times every day, with a human being. You do it sincerely. And you do
it once. You do it sincerely, and you do it once. And that's it. Now they now they have to decide
whether and by the way, if you genuinely ask for forgiveness, then it always comes with Islam.
That's the other nuance that I wanted to bring to your attention. Sometimes people say sorry, and
keep doing the bad thing over and over anyway.
		

			I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And then the yellow, the son yells at the father again. And then next
time, I'm really sorry that I keep losing my cool and that he disrespects his father again. And then
he says, Sorry, again, he's not really sorry. Because I said, there are two things. There's this
law, you got to fix the problem. And you got to apologize, right? So this person is apologizing, but
they haven't fixed the problem. So if I'm really sorry, towards someone, one, I'm making
reconciliation I'm making, I'm correcting the issue. And second, I'm asking for forgiveness, those
two things are going hand in hand. Now let's say you did your part, you, you you messed up, you
		

			messed up with somebody, and you fixed it, you did this law, and you apologized, but they're not
ready to forgive you. If both of those conditions are met, and they're still not ready to forgive
you. Then what are you supposed to do? Then you're supposed to keep asking Allah for forgiveness,
but not them.
		

			Allah will not on Judgment Day, hold up your forgiveness because somebody else is still angry.
You're not responsible. I'm not responsible for anybody else's emotions. I'm not. I did the damage.
Fine. I did it. I may have to pay for it in some way. But the way the only avenue Allah gave me in
this life is law. And madiera. That's it. That's the only two avenues he gave me. You got to fix it
payback, make up for it and ask for forgiveness. After that, if the person doesn't give that to me,
then I can do nothing about it. Now there are situations where people had a bad relationship with a
family member. Like somebody had a fight with their brother. They didn't get along, they stopped
		

			talking to each other things got really ugly, and one of the brothers died.
		

			Right? So now they can't fix it. And now they're carrying this guilt law. The last conversation I
had with him, I told him, I hate you, you know, and now they died. And now I can't even apologize. I
don't know what to do. Right. So now at this point, the only thing you can do is have hope in the
forgiveness of Allah and do some good, do some good maybe even do some good in you know, to benefit
the deceased and their family makeup in some sort of way. But don't let that hang over you that
Allah will never forgive me. Allah did not make your judgment on Judgment Day dependent on anybody
else's mood.
		

			Unless you never made this
		

			law
		

			unless you never even tried, because the only thing, the only thing appreciated by a law Judgment
Day or efforts, you know, that's the wild laser, the lens de la mesa. So that's the first thing that
I wanted to bring to our attention this Ramadan. When we think about forgiveness, we shouldn't think
that this is some blanket kind of forgiveness and all the other wrongs that we're doing, especially
the wrongs that we do to each other human beings do to each other, that we don't need to fix that
because we're doing Ramadan, it doesn't work that way. But the other thing that I wanted to as we
come to the close of this remarkable month, that I wanted to remind myself of, and all of you have
		

			is that the more a believer worships Allah. And the more they try to remember Allah, there's imagery
in the Quran, I like to call it visual aids, you know how a good teacher they come into a class and
they come with some props and visual aids, and they help you understand the subject, right, even
younger, younger education teachers will bring toys with them to the classroom or something kids can
look at, you know, when you teach children how to learn the alphabet, instead of a book, they'll
give them blocks with the alphabets on them. Human beings are wired, our brains are wired to learn
things visually better, when you see something and learn, it's actually much easier for you to
		

			absorb, right, so what does Allah do in the Quran, Allah in many times very difficult concepts or
heavy concepts, Allah teaches them by giving us a visual example. And that makes it easy to remember
and understand how to live by that example. So he I read before you are very famous and beautiful, I
have certain Bacara where Allah azza wa jal describes one dimension of my relationship with Allah, I
have many relationships with Allah. And one of them is that Allah is my colleague, that Allah is my
protective friend. And a Willie is one of the many words in Arabic for friends. And this word in
particular has to do with a friend that is looking out for you. And he's in a in a level, you know,
		

			there are some friends of yours they're really good to hang out with, but you would never leave your
car with them.
		

			That's not your willy. That's your friend. They're cool, you love their jokes, you love having
dinner with them, but they cannot drive your car, there's another kind of friend, you can leave your
keys to the house with them, you can leave the car with them, you can go for a year, and you know,
everything's gonna be fine. Because they will look out for you, they're gonna protect you. Even in
your absence, that kind of a friend who becomes even really ill.
		

			Right, they will, they will take care of your situation, they will take care of your matter. That
kind of a friend is called Willie. And in fact, when he goes even beyond friend, it can even be
someone who's responsible for you. So you know, the father of the girl is also called already, the
caretaker is also called Wedi. You know, and the leader of a tribe can actually also be called well,
because he's taking care of the entire tribe. He's making sure that tribe is safe. So it can be the
willie of the tribe. Allah uses this word to describe one dimension of my relationship with Him.
That He is one he's looking out for me. And he's protecting me in every way. He's protecting me. So
		

			Allah says, Allah, Who will you will live in harmony? But then he describes, okay, this relationship
that he has with me, how does it practically show up? Like, what does it look like? Okay, so he has
that relationship, what does he do on the basis of that relationship. And that's the phrase, you
could use your home meaningful lumati, you don't know he brings the carbon translation, say, He
brings them out of darknesses or darkness it towards light. And this is the part that I wanted to
tell you is a visual aid is a visual example. Imagine somebody deep down inside of a cave, there's
dark, and weighed the distance, you see an opening in the cave, there's light. And now you start
		

			walking towards the light, you start walking towards the opening of the cave, right? When you're in
the dark, you don't actually recognize your surroundings. You don't know if there's a snake here.
You don't know if there's a hole here. You don't know if there's a sharp edge over here. If you lean
on it, it can cut you you don't know, you don't actually know where you're standing. As you start
taking steps towards the light. You know, you don't go from zero light to 100% Light immediately.
That doesn't happen with every step. Maybe it's 1% more light. Next step. 1%. More light, isn't it?
So it's getting less and that's why darkness is multiple shades. There's absolute darkness with
		

			every, every, every step I take it's a little bit less dark. It's a little bit less dark. It's a
little bit less dark, you understand? So Allah uses plural for darkness Lumads novel ma vumat. Why
because every step is a little less darkness, a little less darkness and a little less darkness.
There's there's other things and by the way, as I'm taking these steps, I look around and I see
something
		

			that now I know is dangerous. Now I know it's harmful. Two steps ago, I didn't think it was harmful
at all because I didn't even see it. Two steps later, my view changed. I took a couple of other
steps, my view changed again, I took a couple of other steps, I look back and I say, I can't go back
there, it's darker back there. Now I'm afraid of taking a step backwards. When Allah is my protector
friend, he has given me a path out of multiple kinds of darknesses. But in these few minutes that I
have left, I wanted to highlight something complicated, or something not so much paid attention to
in this image that Allah has given us. You know, Allah didn't just say, Allahu Allah Latina Armano
		

			Yokohama novel Umatilla nor the corollary, the opposite is also being mentioned. And that's the
opposite image Well, Latina cafardo, Alia Omoto, hood, yolk, Regina Homina new Illuma and those who
disbelieve their protective friends are about to hood comes from to here to Riyadh in Arabic means
disobedience. Open disobedience is one thing that you break the rule. It's another that you cut the
red light and you look at the compensated what you're going to do. That's still here.
		

			That's the you're openly rebellious. You're prideful, in how defiant you are. What are you going to
do about it? Yeah, so I do it. Uh huh. Right. There's people that like, probably wear like a coffee
or a t shirt. Like, what are you going to do? You know, similarly to the prophets, I still have some
of the kofod used to say, you know, like, Allah describes your strategy. Okay, you've been talking
about judgment, a judgment day sun and moon crashing? Let's have it. Bring it man. 10 years, you've
been talking about it? Let's Let's go. Let's do this. Tired of hearing about it. You know, this,
this attitude is still here. Allah says that there are people there are entities that want you to be
		

			proud of disobeying.
		

			To hit the hood, or people that want you to be proud of discipline. They don't just want you to
disobey. They want you to make it look like disobedience is a good thing. And they're inviting
humanity. They're inviting them. And some people accept them as friends and think that they're
looking out for me. There might
		

			Allah didn't just describe them as the who was it? OLIO Houma Tahoe. So that same relationship I
have with Allah, he's looking out for me, he's protecting me. I can I can trust him. I can leave my
matters with him. Right? This attitude is for some people, some forces in the world that openly
wants you to disobey Allah, and they sell to you. I'm looking out for you. I'm trying to protect
you. I'm trying to protect you from this barbaric religion. I'm trying to protect you from this
oppression. I'm trying to protect you from judgment. And they'll use pretty words like let me give
you freedom. Let me make you feel good about yourself. Let me let I want you to be you. Be true to
		

			yourself, which means worship your enough's, come earlier Omata hood. And there are people that say,
Yeah, that's a good offer. And there's they even they could be standing in the light.
		

			Standing in that, by the way, the image of standing in the light means you are in Allah's guidance.
That's actually the image. So there's a there's a man who prays there's a man who stays away from
Hara, there's a woman who observes Allah's religion in the way she carries herself in the way she
speaks in the way she does business in the way she dresses, she, they're there, they're in light,
and all of a sudden, they start getting invited towards the horse, and the horse starts convincing
them that I'm you're willing, we're looking out for you. And they say, that's a pretty good
invitation. And these take one step away from the light,
		

			you know, who may not know it, they say take one step away from the light. And some of the things
that they saw were bad, they look a little adult, so they don't look as dangerous anymore. And they
take another step, and they take another step. And the things that they used to be very sensitive
about. They were very sensitive about where their eyes used to go. They were very sensitive, not the
words that used to come out of their mouth. They were very sensitive about the way they used to talk
about people. They used to be sensitive about some things. Every step they take towards darkness,
they're becoming less and less and less sensitive, because they don't see the problem. It's too dark
		

			to see that it's dangerous. So you stop but you start getting desensitized. And it's not an
overnight thing. It's not an overnight you don't just go from Oh, I was I was in the light and now
I'm in the darkness. And it's not overnight also the other way I was in the darkness now I'm in the
light Alhamdulillah that people say these kinds of things. Yeah. Used to be in the misguidance of
Hamdulillah. Allah guided me. Yeah, no, no is a step that would not work. You gotta go step by step.
You
		

			You know, there's there's one step at a time. And so this is something I want all of us to
contemplate deeply about ourselves. And the final thing that I want to leave you with, in this
reminder about darknesses to light is that there are multiple darknesses. So it could be that I
didn't used to pray. But now I'm praying. So there was that one darkness in my life. And that one
darkness, I'm moving towards light.
		

			But there's another darkness I have a really bad temper.
		

			And I haven't done anything about that one.
		

			That's still that's even darker now. That's even during my prayers have become great. But my temper
is still really bad. My tongue is still very sharp. My tongue is very hurtful. My opinion of others
is still very judgmental. I'm still very quick to make assumptions about people.
		

			There's still some darkness is inside that hearts, even though in other parts, other parts of me are
heading towards light, some parts of me are still in the darkness. And you know what, this is what
confuses a lot of people. And they say how come you see people they pray? They they dress modestly.
They read Quran they even teach Quran, but then they're so mean.
		

			Are they did she people in business? This guy's got such a big beard, he could trip on it. And he
still lies. And he does this that he does this. That's because they may have addressed one dirt
darkness, but they didn't ever concern themselves with the other darkness. And Allah azza wa jal
wants to make pull the Allah when he he wants to pull us out of all of our darknesses Marinova
Lumads. Illinois, not just one of them, not just one of them. So in Ramadan, yes, we're praying. And
maybe some of you weren't praying regularly or praying now in Ramadan, that's a great darkness that
you came out of, and you're heading towards light. But are there other darknesses that need to be
		

			addressed? Are there other and by the way, this is this is especially important for those of us that
feel like at one point we were disobedient to Allah. Right. And now we've made changes and now we're
obedient to Allah, especially when it comes to the prayer because the prayer has become a litmus
test for who's religious and who's not religious. So if you're praying Alhamdulillah you're Islamic
now. Congratulations, you have the Islamic badge. Okay, now that you're Islamic, you know what the
assumption is? You no longer have a darkness
		

			You're good now you graduated from the dark school you're in the light now?
		

			No, no, no, no, no, you address one problem. You address one problem. And what happens is others and
yourself can become blind to the fact that even though we've taken steps towards Allah, were acting
in obedience to Allah, there are still yet other darknesses we have to conquer. Ramadan is a really
amazing time to look inside myself and say, What darkness is remain. What darkness is need to come
to an end? Yes, we should be reciting a lot of Quran. Yes, we should be making a lot of Doha a lot
of prayers, but the purpose of Quran and DUA and prayers is actually to accept Allah as the holy and
actually to accept those steps that I need to take out of whatever darkness is I'm in towards light.
		

			And Allah azza wa jal make this week this last week of Ramadan. May Allah azza wa jal make this week
a week of all of us taking steps towards light. I mean, Allah azza wa jal make our steps towards
life easier and easier and pull us away from any inclination of friendship towards adulthood that we
falsely might think is actually looking out for us when all it is is destroying us. BarakAllahu li
Welcome to Quran Al Hakim when I finally we combine it with the key.
		

			Hamdulillahi waka salatu salam ala about the healthiness
		

			of Mali him or hate him in the beginning. Mohamed El Amin rather early he was so happy he called
Allah azza wa jal keekaboo Karim but an Akula also be learning ministry conduct regime in Allahu wa
Mala Iike who use Aluna and then the Wii. U 100. In Amman Sallu alayhi wa salim Taslima Allahumma
Salli ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed camasta. Later Allah Rahim while earlier Ibrahim Al Al Amin in
Mohammed Al Majeed, Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Anwar the early Mohammed Omar Abdullah Ibrahim
rather early Rahima Phil Alameen in gamida, Majid about Allah right Malcolm Allah, Allah and Allah
yup monopolize the relation where he tells your quarterback, well you don't have any fresher you
		

			will. Monica what are they called? Like Akbar? Allahu, ya know, momentous now I can Salah in NA
salata, kind of Nina, Kitab and Mahkota