Naima B. Robert – Intimacy and Chastity for Muslim Women Amirah Zaky
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Bismillah. Assalamu
alaikum.
Good people.
Welcome back to my channel. It's been a
while since we did a live stream, so
I'm really really excited for this one.
New guests,
new time,
a new format, new topics. So really, really
excited to welcome,
somebody whose videos on this channel have been
extremely popular,
and that sister is no other than Amira
Zaki. Masha'Allah.
If you guys have been on this channel
for a while, you've probably seen her in
our conferences. You've seen the, marriage intimacy conversation
that we did. And, masha'Allah, you know, she
always brings
so such a fresh take on the topic
of intimacy. And I've been following her on
Instagram, y'all. And if you're not following her
on Instagram, you need to go to Amirazaki
on Instagram and follow her. I'll put the
link in the description.
Before we get started, guys, make sure you
like the video. Make sure you also subscribe
to the channel, and bring your comments in
during the stream, inshallah. Amira, assalamu alaykum wa
rahmatullahi wa barakketu.
I thank you so much for having me
today. I'm really excited to talk to you
inshallah. Yay. Alright. So those for those who
don't know you, how do you introduce yourself
nowadays?
It's really interesting because,
recently, I've had a few people ask me
what do I do. And,
like, couple of years ago, I used to
just keep it very vague, and I would
say something like, I'm a wellness coach.
And if they then probed me, I would
then go into the intricacies of what I
actually do. But alhamdulillah, I've gotten to a
place over the past few months where if
someone asked me that question,
I feel confident enough to say, I'm a
* educator.
I tend to kind of preface that by
saying that I'm a god conscious * educator.
And then I will have people ask me,
okay, what do you mean by god conscious?
I will typically say that I when I
talk about * or sexuality,
I try to educate
about it in a respectful way, knowing that
Allah is always watching me whenever I'm talking
about those topics. But also when I say
God conscious, I mean,
educating about * in a way that's in
alignment with faith. For me, specifically, that would
be the Islamic faith because that's what I
know as a Muslim. But I do find
it hamdullah through the work I do a
lot of what I share
does obviously impact many Muslims, which is my
goal.
But I've noticed, quite a lot of other
faiths seem to benefit from
the work I do, especially
people at fit adhering to things like Christianity
and Judaism, where they believe things
similar to Muslims in terms
of * and the rules around * and
the rules around interactions with the opposite gender
and that kind of thing. So I'm a
* educator, alhamdulillah,
in alignment with the Islamic faith.
I love that. And I can imagine that
there would be, you know, alignment between, you
know, what you what we understand as Muslims
and also people who are trying to live
a God conscious life whether they're Christians or
Jews or other faiths actually because all the
faiths pretty much have the same rules when
it comes to to to * especially with
regards to chastity and marriage and everything, which
we are going to get into for sure
because they've had some very interesting posts about
chastity and I know you have a really
unique take on it, masha'Allah.
So, okay.
We talked about being a * educator.
Right?
And and in the framework of of God
consciousness.
Now I've been following you for ages and
I've noticed that you're speaking a lot about
intimacy.
And the way that you're speaking about intimacy
is is slightly different. Do you wanna tell
us a little bit about what you understand
by intimacy and how you found it helpful
to teach about it?
Yeah. So I think this is just this
came from a place of,
realizing
that
a lot of people, I would say,
either a 100% or close to 100%
of people, whether they're Muslims or not, have
some form of sexual struggle.
It may be that they're not married and
they have a desire for *, but they,
you know, they want to abide by their
religion.
But they still have that struggle and they
don't know what to do with it. Or
they could be married and they are engaging
in * with their spouse,
but they are struggling either with pleasure or
with pain or with whatever the struggle may
be.
And so I started thinking about, okay, people
have this struggle, and the common theme is
* or sexuality.
And I started reflecting. I, hamdu lie, I'm
that type of person where I am very
reflective. Like, I'm I'm an introvert by nature.
So a lot of my thoughts are here
in my head. So anytime people see my
posts, it's like me taking my thoughts out
and putting it onto a post. And but
I before I create a post, it's all
in here. It's reflecting. And so I asked
myself,
what is it that people are really seeking
when they have a desire for *? For
example,
what is the essence of that desire? What
are they channelling that desire into perhaps something
else. So I kind of channeling that desire
into perhaps something else. So I kind of
wrote down lots of things, and I saw
that some of the common themes. And I
think I remember a while ago, I put
a question box on my Instagram stories where
I said, what are people looking for when
they want to have *? And something that
came up is like closeness,
love,
pleasure,
fun, intimacy came up a lot. And if
the word intimacy wasn't used, it was something
related to intimacy. And it tended to be
things like connection,
or emotional
closeness.
And so I see that a lot of
a lot a lot of people,
not just Muslims, actually, anyone,
they I've noticed people using the word intimacy
to sort of replace *.
And that's fine. I don't have an issue
with that necessarily.
But when you think of *, it tends
to be 1 or 2 types of things
that come to mind. It's quite specific.
But a lot of people, if you just
keep on replacing the word * with intimacy,
people will start to think that anytime a
person talks about intimacy, they only mean *,
which like I said, isn't necessarily an issue.
It's fine. Some people just don't like the
word *. They prefer the word intimacy. I'm
okay with that. But for me, intimacy
could include * or sexual activity,
but it's not limited to that. And I
actually literally, when I was doing this reflection,
I typed intimacy into Google to find a
dictionary definition. And a lot of the times,
it will say, like, it's used as a
euphemism for * or sexual *, which again,
I'm I'm okay with that. But the broader
definition is emotional closeness.
And so for me, that was like, okay.
If people
desire * because they're seeking emotional closeness,
is it possible for a person, regardless of
whether they're married or not, is it possible
for a person to experience that without *?
And so that's kind of what I kind
of poured my work into is how can
someone experience intimacy
in alignment with their faith if they're not
married? If they're unable to have * because
they want to adhere to their religion. How
can they how can they get what they
want from *, but not from *, from
other things,
closeness through with their loved ones, with their
family,
emotional closeness through spiritual intimacy, that connection with
God.
I know in our faith, a lot of
people will describe having that in man and
that closeness with God is really, really sweet.
And actually, people
want * for the sweetness of *, but
you could have that replace it. If you're
not able to have *, replace it with
spiritual intimacy,
emotional intimacy with your parents, things like that.
So that's what I try and get people
to understand is is what you're seeking doesn't
always have to be
the way the way you expect. And I
think it kind of comes from
society where society has tried to program us
that if you feel sexual desire, you need
to fulfill that desire in a sexual way.
And while that is possible, especially in the
context of marriage,
it's not possible for for many people if
they're not married. And so
if someone experiences
sexual desire, has feelings of sexual attraction to
someone,
and they're not married to that someone and
they can't fulfill that desire sexually,
can they channel that desire into a different
form of nonsexual intimacy,
nonsexual pleasure?
So that they're not just always suppressing
the desire
because I feel like that can have
negative impacts on their health. Mental health,
can have negative impacts on their self esteem,
can have negative impacts on their relationship with
God. Where if they're really struggling with desire
and they have no outlet for it, halal
healthy outlet for it, they might start to
maybe question God and be like, why am
I struggling? I have no way of getting
married. Maybe I know a lot of people
want to get married and are trying to
get married, but are really struggling. And so,
alhamdulillah, Allah is bestening with this ability to
do this work,
to try and get people to think
about * and intimacy
in a different way
so that they can still
maintain their faith.
Yeah. That's that's I know I kind of
talked about so many things, but literally, that's
all the stuff that goes in my head.
That's that's the internal.
Okay. So alright. So what I'm hearing you
say is
I I I agree with you. I think
that there's definitely that part of, you know,
desiring intimacy
Even if we use it as a euphemism,
there is still a part of it that
is actually desiring true intimacy, which is that
closeness as you said. Right? So I could
imagine I think isn't it called transmutation
or something? When you take,
something from one context and you channel into
something else?
So so I so I understand about, you
know, the intimacy aspect and channeling that intimacy
into different types of intimacy
Because I think was it are there 6
types that they normally say?
There's, the there's emotional intimacy,
spiritual intimacy, as you said. There's intellectual intimacy,
physical intimacy,
and then you're gonna have to help me
with the other 2.
You know them. There's spiritual intimacy and experiential
intimacy.
Some people might also say intellectual intimacy. So
or as possible. A mental
yeah. So there's different ways to be close,
right, and to feel
the sweetness of that closeness. I think, you
know, as you said, the sweetness of it.
And I and I think I I agree
with you on that.
So there's that. But what about desire?
Because it seems to me if you have
a physical desire,
yes, you may want the intimacy that comes
with the act. Right? But your desire is
a physical need. Right? You're *. Right? To
be to put it crudely. Right? Yeah. Can
you transmute that into other forms of pleasure?
Can you take that
that that that longing or that physical need
and turn it into something else? Because I
don't think that if somebody is is in
that kind of heightened state,
I'm not sure whether spiritual intimacy is the
is the answer. I don't know. What what
are your thoughts on it? Yeah. It's really
interesting because I think there's so many different
nuances with that question where if someone is
regularly
having a really high desire for *, and
you just keep saying to them, okay, just
transmute it, transmute it. It might work and
might help. And it's actually what I promote
and encourage
doing that, especially kind of temporarily in the
sense where if you are actively
making to act to get married and trying
to get married and looking for someone to
get married to, but you haven't found someone
yet, or you're still getting to know someone,
but you still have that desire. Yes, I
would say transmute it. So I feel like
both can happen at the same time where
you can do the transmutation.
But it's not denying the fact that Allah
created us in a certain way that
I would say for the majority of people,
the most people, most Muslims or not, need
to have a partner need to be married
to someone. I think that is just like
an undeniable
need for most people. I think that there's
a small minority of people that can exist
through life without a partner and still be
healthy, happy, mentally, emotionally, physically, still have a
great relationship with Allah. But I think most
people
do desire a partner, do desire to be
married. And so for that person who has
that higher desire and doesn't want to have
* outside of marriage in order to obey
Allah,
In the meantime, it's yes, you need to
find a healthy way of,
releasing having that outlet having a way to
transmutate your desire. I also feel like desire,
is very much linked to a person's purpose.
And so I find that if a person
is constantly having a high desire for something,
Allah
is trying
Allah is trying to signal to them that
you were made for more like in this
in the sense that there's I created you
for a purpose, and we have multiple different
purposes.
But part of your purpose isn't being fulfilled
right now. And it's about a person maybe
being curious and thinking, what is it that
laws may be trying to communicate with me?
Is there some kind of impact I need
to be making in the in the world?
Because I find and I'm sure you feel
the same. The more I lean into
trying to help people, trying to impact a
person's life, I feel like my I have
more and more desire to do that, to
impact someone. So it's like taking
physical sexual desire and transmuting into this desire
to help someone alongside the desire of getting
reward from a loss. So it's like the
transmutation is important
alongside
a person actively
trying to find a way to,
fulfill the sexual desire in a sexual way
in alignment with Islam, which we know can
only happen within marriage.
Mhmm. Mhmm. No. I hear that. And now
I wanna jump on that inshallah because I
definitely wanna talk about how
how, as you said, you know, in society,
how we are taught to
to view desire and to act on it.
Right?
I think at this point, a lot of
people who who can,
I think they just have * for the
sake of having *? I don't I don't
even think that they have this overwhelming desire.
I think that they do it because that's
what you do. You know, like, if a
hot guy comes and, you know, like, he's
up for it, then that's what you do.
You know? If you see a hot girl
and you you can get in, like, you
get in. Right? And it's not even that
we are
so evolved sexually, you know, as as a
as a species that we've I just a
lot of a lot of the the ways
that people are
interacting with desire and with with sexual desire
specifically
in our in our modern day society,
Yeah. It's having some interesting impact on people's
mental health and people's sense of of self
worth and even just the way that they
see
the deed itself. Right? What are you seeing?
Because obviously, you grew up I'm expect I'm
I'm assuming you grew up in, like, the
eighties
or the nineties even.
Nineties. And probably the nineties. Exactly. Right?
I'm the I'm the one who grew up
in the eighties. But you grew up in
the nineties.
So what have you have you seen any
shifts in the way that society as a
whole
views * and intimacy and pleasure,
in the in your time?
Yeah. I think it's it's really interesting. It
has changed. I was having a conversation the
other day with another parent,
where we we are a sim very similar
age. Another woman,
she,
she and I went to secondary school here
in the UK.
And during that era, when we were in
high school, a lot of girls were getting
pregnant.
And we were just discussing how thankfully it
seems to not happen so much now. But
that was the era of like teenage pregnancies.
And so obviously, in that time,
* was definitely what you described where it
was just like, you see it, you're you're
you're a teenager, you have this desire for
* at that age, you find someone who's
up for it too, that you're attracted to,
you have *, and many girls were getting
pregnant.
Obviously, that's a whole other topic of why
were they, like, you know, why were they
maybe not taught about conception or why weren't
they using or whatever? But that's a different
issue is that was kind of that error
is and it still exists now in a
sense that it might not be for teenagers.
It's just
women and men, men in their twenties thirties
or whatever age,
if
they were not raised in a way where
their faith was made to be important to
them. So maybe they did grow up with
a faith of some sort, but it wasn't
the priority in their family unit or their
household.
And
maybe their own parents were not married.
Maybe they it's just what they see around
them when they are in high school in
university,
when they go and have their careers. It's
just something that is everywhere in society that
everyone is doing it and having * whenever
they want, however many times they want. And
you don't have to be married to have
*.
And I think there's actually a book called
the case against the sexual revolution.
I've forgotten the author so I can write
that back. But that book's really,
eye opening
where I think it was the seventies or
whenever when women were told that you are
liberated by being able to have * with
any man you want.
And so I think it was just this
brainwashing
trying to sell it to women that
you have the power now to choose when
you wanna have * as many times as
you want. So women took that because I
think prior to that, you know, it was
kind of shunned. The idea of having *
outside of marriage was seen negatively. So when
that sort of sexual revolution happened in the
seventies,
women were sold the idea of, like, freedom
and empowerment,
and all of those kinds of things, women
took that and started doing those things. And
maybe it temporarily made them feel happier and
and everything.
But,
what people are seeing now is actually,
it led to a lot of women feeling
very unsatisfied, unfulfilled,
feeling,
worse than they did before. Feeling
taken advantage of. So many different things that
came up. I'm not saying this is true
for everyone, but it happened for a lot
of women. And I think it still happens
now where just as you said, I think
men, women, girls and boys are having *
because they
can. And because they may not see the
consequences of it, or because they just don't
have a very strong
relationship with their faith or spirituality or connection
with God.
And I think a lot of people are
sold that that's oh, are told
that
* is a way if you have sexual
desire, it's like this physical need you have,
physical immense mental emotional need you have. And
it's really easy to get that
person can say, you know, eating is just
this physical thing you're fulfilling a need. But
a lot of people might compare eating with
*. They're not necessarily the same. Because, yes,
when you eat, you're satisfying
a physical need.
But there is a mental, emotional, and spiritual
side to eating. Just like there is with
*. There is a mental, mental, emotional, and
spiritual side
to * and engaging in * and sexuality
that you might not notice immediately, but you
will probably notice the effects
later on. And so I think it's really
important for people to
grow up and go through life, no matter
what your age is, is to constantly be
like critically thinking about what is normal in
society.
Why is it normal? Am I okay with
that? Like, does this actually actually make me
happy? Or am I only happy because people
are telling me I should be happy with
this thing?
So it's just, I think, critical thinking is
a really, really important skill that Islam promotes
us to ask questions to dive deep into
things. And I think if people, regardless of
their faith,
spent a bit of time doing that regularly,
thinking about because we're talking about * is
thinking, why am I having * with this
person?
How does it actually affect me? How do
I actually feel? And so even though I
was saying that women are,
it there are studies that show that women
are actually negative have been negatively affected
by hookup culture. There was another article released
recently by Habiba Khan, not not by Habiba
Khan, but he reposted it,
where
it said that men are also negatively affected
by her culture.
So yeah, I just think it's such an
important topic.
And we see this a lot happening, not
just with *, but we see so many
times
where our faith, Islam,
tells us things. And
sometimes those things are hard to follow. But
then later on, studies back them up. And
you're like, oh, that's
I told us that kind of thing. So
yeah. Exactly. Exactly. No. We have the inside
scoop. Yeah. No. It's interesting because in the
case against the sexual revolution,
Perry, Louise Perry, it's why. That's right. That's
right. Yeah. Yeah. She's been on lots of
podcasts talking about it. And
essentially,
society
has always pretty much, and I think we
can generalize here,
societies have always understood,
if
society
if society is going to function.
So for example,
requiring
chastity until marriage, right,
And making marriage a prerequisite
before you can engage, especially with with
let's put it this way, women of value.
Right? Because in every society there's always been
women and men that are not considered valuable.
Right? And they can be used in that
way. But a woman of value in any
society
from a family, you know, who has a
father, who has parents, who has a tribe
behind her, whatever the case may be,
they will not allow her to be used
in that way. You know, if you want
access to her, you are going to go
through our culturally,
our culturally decimals.
And that usually involves marriage, right, because marriage
is a commitment.
And it made sense for men to commit
in marriage
because they knew that they were getting a
woman who was going to be loyal to
them and have their children.
So, it's like it's a bargain that you
make. Right? It's like, okay,
I'll forgo, you know, kind of whatever options
there are out there, and I will commit
in exchange for access and in exchange for
a woman who will give me children. Right?
Very kind of, you know,
very basic
level, but that's pretty much how every society
has always worked. Right? There are always exceptions
and outliers, but pretty much that's how it's
been.
And what, Louise Perry was saying was that,
you know, up until the sort of late
fifties, sixties,
men knew that the price of access was
commitment.
Mhmm.
It it is what it is. You want
access to that woman that you love or
that girl that you think is the most
amazing girl? You know what's required. You need
to do the right thing. You need to
call her. You need to ask her father's
permission. You need to ask her to marry
you. You need to have your stuff together,
and then you have access and she's yours.
No worries.
The issue with the sexual revolution
and opening the doors to premarital * and
and condoning it and encouraging it is that
men no longer
had an incentive to commit because
well, I you know what I mean? Like,
why pay the price when I can get
it? You know, anytime, any way. And of
course, you know,
as you said, people may say, yeah, but
women have desire too, which is true. Right?
Yeah. But, again, as you said,
* is not just a transaction.
No matter how much modern thinkers may want
us to think that it is, that there
is nothing more than a physical act in
an exchange of fluids,
That is not what the evidence bears out,
and I don't think it's really what our
lived experience is either. Right? There is more
to it than that.
And it is not helpful, as you said,
to talk about it in purely utilitarian lines.
Like, okay, you know, so it's a guy,
he's got a desire, she's gotta go. Okay.
Fine. Let them let them go at it.
So so, really, as you said,
and it's interesting to me to see kind
of where we are today as a society
because it really is a case of, you
know, for people who do decide to commit,
which is what a marriage is at the
end of the day, it's a commitment,
to to work together,
to build together,
to forego others in many cases, in many
cultures,
and to be loyal to that person and
make them your priority. Right?
You can see how people are pushing that
back further and further and further and further.
And for some people, it will never happen.
Right? For some people, they'll either choose never
to commit
or they just won't find anybody that could
see themselves committing to. So it's it's a
rather unfortunate situation, I think,
because because the I don't maybe they knew
the instability that it would cause.
I suspect that they did, but it was
considered
worthwhile,
like, it was collateral damage. Like, the traditional
family was collateral damage for the sexual revolution.
Yeah. And it was considered that the sexual
revolution is the most important thing, liberating women
from the home, liberating women from societal expectation,
etcetera, was worth the sacrifice of the family.
But I don't know whether our current results
are showing that it was a good deal.
I don't know. What what are your views
on that?
Yeah. I obviously think that it wasn't a
good thing in any way person like, that's
personally, but also spiritually, I just don't think
it was
beneficial for anyone. Even that temporary
high or joy that the women and men
experienced from the fact that they could just
have it Men loved it. Men loved it.
That's what she was doing. You know what?
No. Men yes. I'm sure men loved it.
But I'm sure that women did too. Because
as you mentioned, women have desire. Women
can experience
and should, in my opinion,
experience sexual pleasure. But there's a context that
that should happen. Same for men. Men have
desire, should experience sexual pleasure, but there's a
context of when it should happen. And that
context has been instructed, I believe, from from
God, from Allah, from our Creator, from the
creator of the humans having *, from the
creator of * itself.
And so
where
I was gonna say something about,
just lost my train of thought.
What were you tell me the points you
weren't mentioning because there's actually something I really
wanted to say. Are you saying that you're
sure that they the temporary high,
of the women enjoying it and the Oh,
yeah. Yeah. Temporary high, I'm sure was really
nice. But I feel like I think I
mentioned that previously, whereas like, in the moment,
I'm sure it feels really good. And that
you you mentioned that * is so powerful.
I would say it's like this
magnetic force where it's almost
irresistible. And, like, Islam tells us to not
approach zina. And I think that's really important.
And for different people, I just wanna touch
on dinner. Different people,
interpret the words in it in different ways.
I I interpret it as any kind of
form of sexual activity or something that could
lead to sexual activity. I think that's really
important because Allah's telling us, like, this is
how powerful it is. Like, that first, and
I actually put put a post on on
my Instagram today, which is like, is it
inappropriate to say to the opposite gender that
you're attract you're beautiful? Even if you don't
you're not attracted to them. Like, if there
was a man in front of me and
I'm married, but imagine there's a man in
front of me and I looked at him
because, yes, Islam tells us to lower our
gaze, but I'm I exist, and I need
to use my eyes to look around. The
first look is halal.
The first look is halal.
And I'm not attracted to him. I have
no intention of marrying him. I'm already married.
But I'm not, oh, wow. He has good
looks. I love less than with good looks.
And I tie it to Allah. And like,
Allah, you bless this person with good looks.
Is it inappropriate for me to say that?
And I just put that just because I
like seeing what people come up with, and
and majority of people saying yes is inappropriate.
Fine. Fair enough. But, like, I feel like
the whole do not approach anything is so
important because it's Allah telling us that *
and sexual activity and attraction to the opposite
gender and desire for * is so magnetic
and so powerful,
so powerful that
acting on it can lead to the creation
of a new life. That's how powerful it
is. And that's how magnetic it is. I
feel like
for for the sexual revolution to come about
and say that it's just this fulfilling of
physical needs, and there's no impact is,
is a bit dumb. Basically, it's just like,
when you think of it, like, how can
you say that it's just fulfilling needs like,
and I sometimes revert to the example of
like food, but food and * are not
that you can't fully compare them. But it
just sometimes to give people an analogy to
make things simplistic.
Even food,
which satisfies your physical needs, impacts you like,
that's why I'll talk about the health and
nutrition of food and how much to eat
or how little to eat or you know,
when not to eat and
fasting and all this health stuff that's out
there. Food
is powerful.
And so is * and not putting a
comparison with the 2. Because obviously, you don't
need to be married to eat. But Allah
is telling us for a reason for a
reason that there needs to be a commitment.
And we need to just sometimes, especially if
you belong to a faith, Muslim, Christianity,
Judaism or any faith,
is just thinking about, okay,
sometimes there are things in my faith that
are really hard to follow. For a lot
of women wearing hijab, wearing the niqab is
really hard to follow. But it's like, okay,
just let's pause for a minute and think.
And it's I think it comes down to
just
knowing Allah,
if my creator
and knowing all the attributes of Allah, if
my creator is telling me something,
even though it's really hard, it's just thinking,
why
would Allah tell me to do this thing?
There must be some benefit in it. There
must be some good thing for me, even
though it's hard, just like working out might
be really hard, but there's some benefit to
it. Again, that's just simplistic. It's okay thinking
wearing hijab or having * only in marriage
is a hard thing to do in this
society.
But what's the bigger picture? I think that's
really important. We it's kind of connected to
this
delayed gratification that people talk about, but is
really, really important with any
any success that you want in life, I
think is gonna come from,
thinking of the bigger picture,
reflecting, and thinking of that delayed gratification in
order to have success in the different ways
in life.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I wanna just jump back to what we
were talking about the the transmutation
if people haven't,
heard that before.
I'd love for you to share some ways
in which people can experience pleasure,
nonsexual pleasure. So I know that on your
page,
there was a brother who messaged because you
were talking about * being more than p
and v. And we're gonna leave it like
that because you guys should know what p
and v means. Right?
But probably, Amir will tell you, no. This
is what it means. We need to be
clear. But, basically, that, you know, * is
more than than just p and b. And
when you speak about it specifically, you're not
just talking about penetrative *. Right?
And then a brother
messaged you and he said, for him, it's
it's so much more than that. It's emotional
closeness. It's this. It's that. It's all of
this stuff and you posted that. And I
remember I I commented and I said, just
get ready for the sisters asking for the
brothers mess like, asking for the brothers details.
Yeah. All the DMs that will come in
there from all the sisters sisters were like,
oh my god. An emotionally intelligent man who
likes *. I love it. Okay.
But so let's start with
* being more than p and v because
most people, when they do think of *,
they think of penetrative * or * as
we call it in terms of
penetration. So,
what what is your
what do you what how do you prefer
to people to think about it? How would
you like to invite people to think about
it?
And then we can go into the pleasure
aspect afterwards.
Yeah. So I think it kinda comes down
to what I was mentioning earlier where when
I start thinking about people wanting * and
I thought I saw that actually they want
intimacy.
The same applies where, okay, if someone wants
* for pleasure purposes,
it's thinking why? What do you what what
what do you feel when you experience pleasure?
And so if you really break it down,
it's just a good feeling mentally, emotionally, and
physically.
And so
if if Allah tells us to only have
* with our spouse,
and people are saying that the only way
you can have *, meaning the only way
you can experience sexual pleasure is through p
in the V penis going into the *,
then that just feels
like a bit of a letdown for women
mostly. Because when you study science, and I'm
very passionate about studying science and anatomy,
When you study the science of sexual pleasure
and and the * the way Allah created
the * and men and the * and
women, you will know that the female sexual
anatomy
is such that the clitoris,
which is not in the * or near
the *, it's separate from the *. The
clitoris is the part of the female *
that experience the most sexual pleasure
when they are stimulated.
Part of the clitoris is external, meaning you
can see it and you can touch it
externally. But most of the clitoris is actually
internal.
Regardless of that, the clitoris is what in
most women needs to be stimulated in order
to experience pleasure. And so if you only
narrow * down to one type, penis and
*,
then you are essentially saying that male pleasure
is more important because when the penis enters
the *,
the male, the man is experiencing stimulation and
pleasure from his penis being stimulated.
But
the *
doesn't have as many nerve endings as the
pisceries. The *,
when stimulated,
doesn't experience that much sexual pleasure for for
the woman. And so it's really important for
us to broaden our
definition of * to not just penis and
* and to see, okay, if the point
of me
engaging in * with my spouse is pleasure,
that means both of us should experience pleasure,
not just the man.
That's really important because if a woman can
feel desire,
surely she should be able to experience
pleasure. She should, that should be her right.
And it is very much in line with
Islam that women
have needs. Women need to be satisfied and
fulfilled sexually just like Amanda's.
And so,
realizing that if she's not experiencing that much
pleasure from penis and *, it's great for
him. Nice. But if she's not finding it
sexually pleasurable,
what can the man do as her husband
to make it pleasurable for her and it's
through knowing that okay, most women requires clitoral
stimulation
to feel pleasure.
Therefore, the penis does not need to go
in the * for the woman to experience
pleasure. I'm not saying that
you should never have penis in * *.
In fact, for a lot of women, they
do experience pleasure from penis and *.
But equally, there are also a lot of
women that don't. And so it's deciding that
you as the husband and wife need to
communicate that if this is not pleasurable for
my wife,
I can get my pleasure through penis and
*, but I also need to stimulate her
a different way to provide pleasure to her
to help her to *. And that typically
is through stimulating her clitoris stress. And that
it's just really helpful to,
I like to say that I I encourage
spouses to see
* as like this menu of different options.
And sometimes you can sometimes you can have
more than one menu in the same session
of * with your spouse. Sometimes it can
just be penis and *, especially in the
context of if the couple are trying to
get pregnant, then clearly, it would need to
prioritize penis and *. But they can also
there can be penis and *, but then
they can be other things. There could be
many other things. Like, pick lots of items
from the menu. Like, it's not like Only
thing I do wanna say. Thing I do
wanna say is really important because I see
this a lot in messages that I receive.
Unfortunately, what I'm seeing is quite a lot
of men still
see penis and * as like the king
of * as, like,
that is the only form of *.
Probably because it's what is the most pleasurable
for them, which is fine. Fair enough. But
I also want to know is it what
I also want men, especially, is not an
anywhere listening
is just because it's the most pleasurable doesn't
mean he can't experience pleasure in other ways.
Like his penis can be stimulated by the
wife. In other ways, it doesn't always have
to go into the *. And that's important
in the context of a lot of the
work you know, I do is in terms
of vaginismus where a woman struggles with penetration,
it's too painful.
Her husband can still be satisfied without going
into her *, but through her helping him
to be stimulated
with her hands or other parts of her
body. So you can still be sexually satisfied
even if 1 or both spouses has a
sexual issue. It's about being creative.
Actually, it's really important to be creative when
it comes to * because
I believe that *, sexuality,
and creativity are very much linked, which is
why I talked about purpose earlier. Someone's not
married and keeps having this desire for *.
It could be It needs to be channeled
into creativity and purpose and making an impact.
But also,
the reason I believe sexuality and * is
very connected with
creativity is the fact that I said *
is so powerful and magnetic that it can
literally create a life. So if
* and sexuality create a life, obviously, from
Allah Yeah. Then it has the power to
create amazing things, whether it's an amazing bond
with your spouse,
through you being creative in set, or through
you channeling that desire if you're not married
into some other creative passion project or business
or something that makes an impact in your
own life and in the lives of others.
Yeah. No. It's that energy, isn't it? It's
that energy. And yes, I definitely
I think if people are just thinking that
there's only one item on the menu, that's
rather
sad and unfortunate because there's, you know, a
ton of things on the menu. And you
can have you can pick several items, you
can have starters guys, you can have entrees,
you can have dessert, like it's all good,
it's all good. Masha'Allah,
Masha'Allah, Alhamdulillah.
Yeah, no, I think I think definitely we've
obviously had this conversation on the channel before
and everybody who comes on here to speak
about intimacy, we
all
understand that this is something that Allah SWT
created, that He gifted us with.
Even subhanAllah
I was doing biology with my daughter
in the reproductive system and I also have
a client who just wrote a book about
peaceful periods, Right? Mhmm.
And she she she mentioned this, and I
also, you know, went through the textbook with
my daughter about
just the way that the
the the human sexual organs are created, right,
and and the fact that a baby girl
is born with millions of eggs.
I did not know this. Okay? I did
not know this. I am gonna admit I
was more of an art student in high
school than a sciences student, but I did
not know that I was born with my
eggs already. Right? You know, and and
and just subhanAllah,
the
the precision of the whole system and just
how it just works. You know, you mentioned
about how Allah created,
you know, our *. Right? And, of course,
for for many people this is, like,
this is shocking speech. Right? Because how can
you mention Allah and * in the same
sentence? But if we take away, like,
you wanna call it cultural baggage, I don't
know,
he did. Mhmm. He created it and he
created it in the best of forms. Yeah.
In the best of forms
for the most noble of deeds,
really, if you think about it. You know
when you said about how * is so
powerful it can lead literally to the creation
of a human life? That is powerful.
And subhanAllah, you know, when when I was
going through it with my daughter with, for
biology,
it it was saying that puberty is a
time where your body prepares
to make new
life. Mhmm. That is that is our our
basic function as mammals, right, as as as
human species, a species in fact, because all
species,
one of their big drivers is to reproduce,
right? And, so, we have that within us.
So, it's really interesting
how
other things become layered upon that,
that actually
inhibits us from being able to
to appreciate this great gift. Yeah. Do you
think people's attitudes are changing within the Muslim
community in your work with couples, etcetera?
Yes. What are you seeing? Yes. Alhamdulillah. I've
only been doing this for, like like, in
terms of, like, focusing on * and sexuality,
I'd say I'd be I've been doing it
properly for maybe 3, 4 years. In that
time, I've already seen a big difference in
Haggalah.
I'm not sure,
how naive that is to say though, because,
obviously,
I see that change in my own
community. Like, people that follow me. Like, when
I first started, it was very shocking. Had
so many comments from people,
either saying you're so brave to do this,
which I don't really like people saying that
to me, even though I'm sure they say
it in a nice way. I don't like
seeing it as me being brave because I
don't see that
I don't see that. Alhamdulillah Insha'Allah. I don't
see that one doing is anything
different to what
happened when Islam first came about, like from
what the prophet was doing and what the
prophet was advising and what the women at
the time were advising and saying to each
other. I feel like women in this space,
whether it's talking about periods, whether it's talking
about * and sexuality, or intimacy or marriage,
all of these things were talked about openly
within the context of Islam in a respectful
way. So I don't see it as me
being brave. But I think people say I'm
being brave because culturally,
it's been kept taboo and hush-hush.
So people feel like I'm doing something
brave, but I don't
gave me confidence to talk about this because
I I again, like I said, I'm very
reflective, and it's just seeing that, okay, a
lot of related *,
and that means I can talk about it
as long as I'm not speaking
in a crude, vulgar,
kind of sexually
explicit revealing way that I think
quite a lot of I've seen quite a
lot of, like, non Muslim * educators
talk about * that way in a very
sexually explicit way, which,
I try my best to never ever do.
I try and keep it as medical, clinical
as educational and factual as possible.
So, yeah, I just think that, yes, people's
views I've seen within my community online
seems to be changing, and people seem to
be, inshallah, like agreeing and
changing their views about things, and then them
trying to
educate their own kids and families in that
way.
Having said that, I still see that there's
quite a lot of work, quite a lot
of room for development and growth in this
space as with anything. So, yeah, that just
inspires me to ensure I'm gonna keep continuing
this work.
I have a question for you, which is,
you know, maybe outside your remit. If you
do if you don't want to answer it,
then, you know, no. Fair play to you.
But
how do you
view the
kind of new guidelines
on * education for
young children?
Because I know that within the * education
kind of field,
there is a there is a particular
understanding of
* positive, right, and * positive education. And
obviously, we know that there are new guidelines
to sell * and sexual and, you know,
* I don't know. * and relationships, I
think they call it. Yeah. And and a
lot of parents are
concerned
that our children are being sexualized
from a very young age. Right?
Yeah. Do you do you see it as
young children being sexualized if they are kind
of being taught about different sexual orientations
or * itself, you know, sort of in
at 4 years old, 5 years old, etcetera?
Or do you do you think that that's
healthy and that's just like normalizing
*? Or what are you what are your
views on it?
Yeah. So many thoughts.
I so if, for example,
I were to tell my 10 year old
daughter
that, you know, because she has asked what
is *, and I explained it to her
as something that Allah created for spouses, husband,
and wife to enjoy and things like that.
I I could ask you or I could
ask myself, am I sexualizing
her by telling her
answering her question,
meaning I'm educating her that I'm answering her
question. Am I trying to sexualize her? And
am I trying to make her want to
have * if I'm just educating her in
a factual way, not keeping it so
hush-hush or not keeping it like, no, don't
ask. Don't. You can't ask that question or
relate to whatever it is. But am I
sexualizing her by telling her facts in alignment
with
Islam and faith.
I personally don't think I'm sexualizing her. I'm
not trying to
promote
her doing something at this age of 10,
to want to have *. I'm just answering
her curiosity, but in alignment with Islam. But
then the other side of that is, I
do see, especially in a lot of Western
countries,
this promotion of accepting
different types of sexuality that is out of
alignment with Islam.
It could be seen as sexualization, but I
I
I feel like it's more of trying to
so other people that perhaps don't belong to
our faith,
trying to promote their own
understanding,
and narrative
of sexuality
that they are happy with,
but they want us to also be happy
with. So
because we believe
certain things about sexuality,
because we get those things from our faith,
we can talk about those things. But if
someone doesn't want to hear it, we shouldn't
force them to hear it. Like if I
if I believe which I do, if I
believe that chastity is really important,
I believe that married people can be chased
or unchaste.
I believe that non married people can be
chased or unchaste. What I mean by that,
because I don't believe that chastity is just
about whether or not you have *.
I mean, it is that kind of comes
down to that, but it's like someone could
be married, but they could be unchased because
they're having also * outside of their marriage.
Have a true failure.
So I just feel so I believe chastity
is important that someone else may not view
sexuality
that way.
I could say I believe sexuality is important.
But if that person doesn't wanna hear it,
doesn't wanna believe it. I shouldn't keep forcing
myself to keep saying that and try like,
if they're not open to hearing those ideas.
And so equally, if one is of a
certain faith, like someone who is a Muslim
and they don't agree with, for example,
having * with the same *. Yeah. Having
engaging in * with the same gender, the
same *,
then why should I have to keep hearing
that from you just because you believe it,
but I don't. Like, if I don't want
to hear it, then you should be okay
with me having my own beliefs. I can
be okay with you having your beliefs. We
don't have to agree on our beliefs, but
we do need to agree on respecting each
other, but also being okay with not forcing
someone else to listen or be educated by
someone that you may not agree with sort
of thing. That does that answer your question?
I think it does to a certain extent.
I think
I think there are some who have ideas,
and I'm saying this
completely neutrally now. I'm trying not to be
biased.
There are some parents who feel that children
are are innocent. I wanna say innocent in
quotes. Right? Innocent in that
they don't understand
certain things about adult life. Right?
And I'm talking about young children here. I'm
sort of 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, so
pre primary and primary. Because by the time
they're 10,
especially nowadays, a lot of children are already
exhibiting signs of puberty, so you better tell
them. If they're asking questions, you better answer
those questions. Okay? So let's make that clear.
But I think that people have
as humans, maybe. I don't know.
We have an idea that
children are innocent, and there are many aspects
of the adult world that they do not
know
or understand.
And * is one of them, but there
are a lot of other things as well.
Okay? You know, it's stuff that adults go
through, challenges that adults have, things that adults
do, right, that maybe
are just confronting or difficult or wrong or
whatever the case may be. So people have
this idea
I think a lot of parents have this
idea that children are are innocent and their
innocence should be preserved for as long as
possible.
Mhmm. So that's why children's books are different
to adults' books. Right? Yeah. That's why children's
films are different to adults' films. Okay. Even
if they approach
difficult topics, they do it in a child
friendly, child appropriate way, in a way that
more or less preserves the child's innocence
until they're old enough to start to make
sense of things. Right? Yeah.
And I think that what a lot of
parents feel is happening,
and again, this is the lens, this is
their lens, is that by being exposed
to sexual content or sexual conversations or even
just talking about
what adults do, right, because * is something
that, you know, in our culture, typically,
that's what adults do, right,
is is some is is robbing them of
that innocence and is introducing
ideas to them
before they are ready to make sense of
them. Do you think that that's a fair
do you agree with that assessment? Do you
think it's fair? Do you think it's old
fashioned? Do you think that these are prudes
who are like like, you know, they don't
not with the times? What's your view on
it?
Yeah. So I agree to a certain extent.
So first thing I wanna point out is
if someone is using the
language of
a child is innocent,
what's the opposite of that? And the opposite
in general is like guilty, but then it's
like like associating,
talking about * with
something negative.
No. No. No. No. No. It's the opposite
is not in the opposite wouldn't be guilty.
It's, I think, it's about
innocence that is preserved or that is corrupted.
Right? So, you know, the fitra, for example.
It's the the idea of the fitra where
we are innocent, we are just as Allah
created us,
but we can be corrupted, right? We are
corrupted by waswas, by influences, temptations, etc, Right?
And as we grow, unfortunately,
you know, that happens more and more. And
I think
that's what it is. It's like a it's
a naivete about the world. It's like this
rose tinted view of the world
that a lot of parents would like to
preserve for their children as as long as
possible. But, obviously anyway, I think just to
make that point, it's not guilty.
It's more just naive. It's just that, you
know, certain things, they just, you know, it's
not
part of their world, if that makes sense.
I do.
I I agree with that. I agree with
keeping children children for as long as possible.
Different children do develop at different ages. Like
I said, I gave the example of my
daughter asking. She is 10, so that's a
different context to a 3 year old. Definitely.
If a 3 year
old were to ask me, like, my children
are not that age anymore. But if I
if a 3 year old was to ask
me what is *,
I would feel differently about that compared to
Oh, dear. Why did you hear that? Why
do you why are you asking me this
question? Oh, my gosh. Yes. Exactly. So I
do agree with keeping children
children as long as possible and then being
in the age and stage that they are
and not needing to know
anything
that they don't really need to know. Obviously,
if they ask questions, it depends on the
context, and you need to, as the parent,
know how to respond to to that. So,
yes, I do think, yes, maintaining a child's
innocence in that way is really, really important
because what we are seeing,
is sorry. I think my thing's open. Let
me close it. What we are seeing is
a lot of kids
are on screens, for example, and they are
being they are watching children's shows. And then
even in the children's shows, there are sexually
explicit scenes, * like scenes in
the cartoons. Yes. Actually,
a few months ago. Yes. A few months
ago. I'm not have you heard of Ifat
Rafique?
Yeah. Yeah.
She posted something she posted something
where, she reposted something on her stories where
someone was showing like, this is what our
kids are watching. It's cartoons, but very sexually
explicit.
It's very similar to *. And it it
filled her with a lot of anger. So
she reposted it. And I reposted it, and
it filled me with a lot of fear
and, like, dread and anger and all those
emotions that
I it prompted me to create like
a duhat real about it where I was
like, you Allah, like sometimes these things are
just not I remember that.
Yeah.
Yes, I do really believe that because otherwise,
our kids are
going to
be is already happening, they are experiencing
trauma from these things, mental stress, and,
it's just,
it can lead to it can lead to
negative consequences later on in that child's life
as they grow older. Mental health wise, what
wise, spiritual health wise, can potentially lead to
some addictions
can lead to
curiosity
in the wrong way. Because I I think
curiosity is a great thing.
And actually, a lot of the time people
ask me, Amira, like, if you educate kids
about *, why don't they become too curious
about * and why they want to have
* early before marriage?
That's a separate topic I tend to say,
not necessarily kinda depends again on the age
and the context and all those things. If
you keep on saying
no to talking about * in your house,
their curiosity is still there that they probably
will go and find out about it from
there. Those days are gone. Those days are
gone. Those days are gone. You're not the
sources. They might be exposed to *. And
so it's about trying to,
sometimes it's not about
just the age and stage of the child.
It's just having this awareness of the world
that we live in for good or for
bad, and being like, okay. My child is
very likely to be exposed to this in
some way. I can can try and control
everything, but I can't control everything. And so
it's just, yeah, being ready to talk about
things that are difficult with our children Yes.
For their own protection.
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. It's it's trying to find
and it's difficult trying to find the balance
of wanting to keep children children and maintain
their innocence.
But being aware that
they're not always going to be with you,
even if you homeschool,
Even
like, of course, there are things you can
do
that like, a homeschooler might have an advantage
over
a child that goes to to
a a traditional school. But even then, there
are still that child is not going to
be with you forever. Like, that child is
going to grow up into it being a
teenager, being more independent,
having their own friends and things. And so
it's just really important to,
raise awareness with your own families about these
things, but taking into the con in into
mind the context of the needs of that
child, the aging stage of that child. Yes.
Yeah.
No. I think that those the days of
threatening your child when they ask you an
uncomfortable question and saying, where did you hear
that? Ma, don't you have asked me that
again? I think those days are long gone.
And if they come to you with the
question,
I'm I'm of the opinion that you should
be grateful that they came to you with
the question in the first place because Yeah.
They don't need to anymore.
You just go online. Yeah. Google it. You
know? And and and I'm sure that most
kids do Google it. And if this is
the thing,
I know that it's hard for us as
parents. I you know, I know we probably
all struggle with this, but
children
when they present those questions to us, those
challenges to us,
we must be courageous enough to lean in
and
be in control of our emotions
and respond in the best way possible. Because
if your child has an interaction with you
where they've asked you something,
genuinely curious,
and you've given them some crazy response, either
you shouted at them or you shamed them
or, you know, like, that you got them
into trouble or, you know, like, that's it.
You're not doing da da da. You're not
going to a girl's house anymore.
Whatever the case may be,
all that it means is that the next
time they have a question, they're not coming
to you with it. Yeah. It's not gonna
ask you, you know. And and and so
so being aware of the fact that if
your child does come to you with a
question, that's actually something to be really grateful
for, and hold on to that intimacy that
they have with you since we're talking about
intimacy.
That that that shows something about your relationship
and how your child sees you because they
they thought
that it was safe to come to you
with that question. Right? Yeah.
Don't be the one to show them that
it's not safe,
you know? You can't be that parent anymore,
you You know? There was a time when
the chappal ruled. I believe that. But I
think that I think that that time is
I just I just think that
the negative consequences
of that style of parenting,
you know, do as I say, not what
I do, you know, don't question me, like,
I don't wanna hear you doing x y
zed. You know, I don't wanna hear that.
How many parents in this generation are losing
their kids because of that? Right? Or even
have lost their kids because of that. I'm
gonna
Just quickly to touch on what you just
say in terms of intimacy.
I really feel like a lot of families,
whether Muslim or not, are lacking in intimacy.
And when I say intimacy here, I mean
lacking in non sexual intimacy with their own
kids.
Even with their own spouse. Like, I really
feel
like
it's like a big need
from kids to parents, from parents to kids,
from between spouses,
between, you know, I, alhamdulillah, still have my
parents even between, like, your own parents or
between with your own siblings. I feel like
that intimacy of
regularly
hugging, kissing, touching your kids, your spouse, your
parents,
is so needed. And just having space to
connect with them emotionally
is so important. And like you said, if
a child comes to you with that question,
that's an opportunity for you to develop and
nurture that intimacy you have with them, that
closeness of asking answering their intimate question.
I think it's so important because
what we are seeing is we are seeing
we talked about sexual revolution. We talked about
how easy it is nowadays to have *.
It's happening even amongst Muslims. There are Muslims
who are not married, who are engaging in
* outside of marriage. It's a thing. It
happens. We shouldn't turn a blind eye to
it. We need to think about
potentially that yes comes from the fact that
it's so easy to get, but not just
that. If that person
didn't experience much intimacy and and,
yes, love, but I wanna say intimacy because
it's that constant. Like, physical touch is so
important.
And I'm saying that as a person who
physical touch is not my love language. For
me, my love language is words of affirmation.
But even I
need regular physical touch, hugging, kissing
my kids, my own spouse, even if it
doesn't make sense. It's just and the kids
in that family need to see that with
their own parents, need to see me being
physically close with my husband. Obviously, not, like,
going too far, but just because what I'm
seeing a lot of, like, women, especially
that are clients or
women messaging me are are a lot of
women, especially, maybe affects men too is they
will say things like I've never, I never
saw my parents
hugging or touching each other when I was
growing up. And then that woman gets married
and she's helped. She tells me it affects
her intimacy with her own husband. And so
I'm saying it's so important that
we promote intimacy,
closeness,
touching, hugging
as much as possible, obviously in a halal
way,
non sexual ways with your own family.
And I, I think, and I made a
post about this, I think
it will help people Muslims, especially but anyone
inshallah
with maintaining their chastity, because I feel like
people
become unchaste or people have * outside of
marriage because they're lacking in that intimacy.
And they feel like I can have *
so easily, and they feel like it's giving
them that quick,
dose of intimacy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Impre intimacy,
whatever you wanna call it. But it's I
really feel like if someone's so full of
intimacy, non sexual intimacy, they're full of it.
They keep getting
a lot of that from their family, whether
it's physical touch or other forms of intimacy.
Mhmm. And they may
be less,
what's the word?
Less, like, intrigued by having * outside of
marriage because it just does it won't satisfy
that desire because they don't have a desire
for it in the first place.
I think I I I think I agree
with you.
I think it makes you more resilient if
nothing else,
right? Because
yeah, our lives
can be
very disparate, right? So you may have a
family that's alive and everything but like you
said,
you know, families
families, man.
Families can be a problem. I'll say why
why do I say that? Because some like
you said, if you have a family,
whether it's brothers and sisters, you know, moms
and dads, you know, uncles, aunties, etcetera,
but within that family,
there really is no intimacy
in the sense that
there isn't a closeness. There isn't knowing. Right?
There isn't that sweetness, like you said. Right?
It's it's more functional.
Right? It's more functional. Yeah. That's my auntie.
Yeah. That's my uncle. That's my dad. You
know what I'm saying? But there isn't really
a relationship
there. And I'll say relationship in the sense
that
I know you. I understand you. You know,
I'm here for you. You know, like, we
have a relationship.
I'm I'm sure there are many families where
maybe it's a really big family. But if
you think about it, like, 1 on 1,
do we really know each other? Like, do
we really have a relationship beyond
this is kin? Right? And I think I
think definitely
for for young people,
we know the impact of intimacy on their
behaviors. Right? If both parents in the home
and are present,
that child is going to do better, typically.
Statistically speaking, right, that child is going to
do better. Right?
If that family
eats dinner together,
again, statistically,
the children do better in school, they do
better mentally, emotionally, They're less likely to take
part in risky behaviors. You know, who would
have thought that? But again, it's because having
dinner together is an intimate experience, especially if
there's conversation. Right? But even just that ritual
of every night we sit and we
eat together.
Yeah. Points of connection. Right? And and I
think maybe there are a lot of, you
know, young people, adults
now who just don't have those points of
of of intimate connection.
And like you said, it does become easier.
You're just weaker. You you're just weaker because
you are not having your cup filled. And
I think that that is where I wanted
to go with this whole this whole spiel.
That cup,
Is the cup being filled?
Is it being filled with, you know, intimacy,
emotional, spiritual, and otherwise?
Is it being filled with pleasure?
Right? Because a person who lives a pleasurable
life,
whether they and and let's let's talk specifically
about someone who does not have a partner.
Okay? And I'm talking about men and women
here. And, okay, let's remove the biological imperative
if we can for a second.
But if you live a pleasurable life, a
life in which you take joy in things,
right, you make to do the things that
make you feel good, right? You eat the
food that makes you feel good. You have
a daily routine that makes you feel good.
The clothes you wear make you feel good.
Your friends make you feel good, your family,
the how you serve them and how they
support you makes you feel good.
Aside from, you know, kind of belonging for
for sexual whatever,
you will be a more resilient person, a
happier person, and able to firm it more
than someone who who their life really is
empty. Right? Their life is is empty, it's
dull, it's boring,
everything is a chore, everything is a struggle.
That person is not gonna be resilient. That
person is weak. That person and and Shaykh
Khan put their eye on that person. I
don't know. That's this is my theory that
just I've just come up with. What do
you think?
I agree. I agree. And and if that
is and if it's true so I agree
with you. And if it is true,
if that weak person or less resilient person
is presented with an opportunity for intimacy
in a way that's not in alignment with
their faith, because of their
low immune system into in that sense, like,
they are more prone to saying yes to
that opportunity for real intimacy, fake intimacy that
that perhaps might not be in alignment with
their faith. And then, unfortunately, what what I'm
seeing because,
I did a post where I was saying,
if someone is unchased, has been unchased in
the past, it's still possible to become chased
again. And someone questioned me. I was like,
what do you mean? If they've had *,
how can they be chased again? Because the
way I view chastity, I don't see it
the same way as, like, virginity. I see
it more like, if someone is if someone
was a non Muslim in the past, and
then they, like, learn about Islam,
and wanna become a but wanna become a
Muslim. But in the past, they were not
a Muslim, and so they were having *
outside of marriage, but then they become Muslim.
And they, you know, repent to Allah. They
start afresh by saying that shahada and starting
this journey of being a Muslim.
They are now and they make the decision
to not engage in * outside of marriage.
They are now maintaining their chastity even if
they were unchaste in the past. And that
can apply to someone who is a Muslim,
who was unchaste, has had * outside of
marriage, but, you know, feels guilty about it
and wants to come back to Allah. I
believe in an we are taught in Islam
that when you see Allah's forgiveness and repentance,
it erases your sin and replaces it with
a good one. So I believe if if
you did engage in * outside of marriage,
some people feel like
that's it. Like, they just have to continue
down that path because they're ruined now, and
they can never redeem themselves. And so I
just want to inshallah through that post that
I made recently was
try and give hope to someone
where they might be thinking negatively about themselves
or have low self esteem because of a
sin they committed in the past, no matter
how many times is. But a lot Allah's
doors for forgiveness
are always open. So just seeking that forgiveness,
making the intention to not repeat it. That's
how I believe you can become chased again.
So I think,
yeah, if someone has that low immune system
or low resilience and they're presented with opportunity
for * outside of marriage and they do
it, it can
really,
have a negative
effect on their mental health, and then that's
like that spiral. And so if we try
and do that whole prevention is better than
cure thing is like starting in the family
unit of how can I really fully
empower my kids
and make them as resilient as possible because
they are going to go out into this
world where * is everywhere? Because yes, we
live in a hypersexualized
society. They'll maybe go to university or be
in a job where they have those offers,
those prep, like, you know, those opportunities.
But it's like if they are so
assured of their faith, the beauty of their
faith,
assured of their identity and all the other
things, then the shop that they will be
able to go through those situations with confidence
to say no to things that are not
in alignment with their faith.
I think it'll be really interesting if somebody
could actually do a study on, you know,
those who are able to maintain their chastity.
What is what is it about them? Right?
What is how do they do things differently?
I mean, we know that there's so many
so many,
like you mentioned earlier, let's talk about zina.
Right? So don't even approach zina. So
there are lots of
social,
spatial,
you know, cultural, religious
barriers. Right?
And every barrier that you that you breach
brings you closer.
So, you know, you may experience desire and
that's natural.
Allah created us that way and it's important
for the, you know, for the continuation
of the species. Right? Yeah. But what happens
next?
Yeah. What do you do with that desire?
How do you speak to the person if
you do?
Under what circumstances do you speak to the
person if you do? Because all of these
are, like, steps along the way. So if
you experience desire and you speak to the
person, now you've gone one step closer.
If you speak to them in a certain
way,
you've gone a step closer. If you speak
to them in a certain context, like if
you're on your own, for example, when you're
alone, which, you know, Islamically we know we
shouldn't be, Again, there's another barrier that's been
breached. So
there are lots of safeguards, but I think
that we also need to take responsibility
for our own safeguarding,
right, and teach our children
how to safeguard themselves. It's not enough. I
mean, you're never gonna nobody should think that
telling your child that Zina is haram is
enough.
Yeah.
Because it's for for many people,
you know
you know that it's haram,
but there's all this other stuff in between,
you know, that that that kind of gets
in the way of the knowledge that it's
haram actually impacting your behaviors. Right? Exactly. I
think that definitely conversation that should be had
about
how Zina works,
you know,
because they think I think a lot of
young people I know I've had this conversation
with my kids before. A lot of young
people who haven't committed Zina,
they think that them knowing that it's wrong
will save them.
But I don't believe that that's the case.
I don't know. What do you think about
that? You're shaking your head.
No. Alhamdulillah that they have the knowledge, but
it it's not enough to save them.
I again, I made a post about this
because I'm really I really strongly believe
that
we, as Muslims,
especially, need to get to a place where
culturally
because because it isn't Islam what I'm gonna
say, but culturally, it needs to become
so normal,
so easy, so accepted
for young Muslims
to get married.
Like it needs it's not we're not there.
It's been delayed
a lot. Yeah. And it's been delayed a
lot. I'm a * educator. And I'm
really
fortunate. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless my parents, that
when I met my current husband, we were
very young when we met. We were 16
when we met in 6th form. We got
married just before university, the summer before we
started university. We got married at 18.
Much like For the emotions like this.
Oh.
Oh, bless.
Just because like obviously, I don't know how
my life would have turned out.
If I hadn't got married early.
Like, it's that fear.
So Allah protected me by giving me parents
that said yes to me getting married early.
Yeah. I could only hope that if I
hadn't got married early, I could only hope
that,
as I went through life and had opportunities
for * outside of marriage. I could only
hope that I would have had that resilience
to say no. And my my parents raised
me well, and I can only imagine that,
yes, I would have said no. Obviously, I
would have said no. I'm a Muslim. I
would have said no. That's what's going through
my head number. Actually, when it comes down
to it, because I mentioned specs is so
powerful and magnetic,
I could have said yes. And, obviously, and
I've just mentioned that if I had,
god forbid, had * outside of marriage. Like,
let's say I didn't get married at 18
and I went through university and there was
an opportunity. I was attracted to someone
and, you know, said yes to * outside
of marriage.
I can ask for forgiveness. Yes. But why
why are many Muslim
cultures
making it so difficult to get married early?
I but but again, this like, Islam teaches
us balance. There just needs to be this
balance of, like, marriage shouldn't be so easy
in the sense that, like, you can just
meet someone, just get married to them. But
it shouldn't be so hard that you have
to wait till you're 30, 35, 40 with
everything everything in place.
Because
people, men and women, start having desire from
as young as, like, 10, 11, 12 when
going through that many years from like, let's
say, 12 to 30. They are not married.
I'm not saying get married at 12. I'm
not saying that I'm just saying they have
all this desire that just builds
and maybe they don't know how to release
it. Or maybe they do try and release
it through a different outlet. But like I
said, there's this need desire to be with
a partner to be married.
And so
my,
what I try to
promote is
how important it is if it's legal to
get married, which it was for us in
the UK, it was legal for us to
get married at 18. We We met at
16, got to know each other for 2
years. We tried alhamdulillah, my parents raised me
this way. We tried to do everything very
openly. I told my parents about him within
a a month or 2 of of meeting
him. I was like, I like to see
At 16.
Oh my gosh. Your parents must have
they must have made
such a safe space for you really to
be able to I'm sure they may look
staff as well. Year old. That's brilliant. Her
parents to partner out. Yeah. That's really important.
I'm sure. My dad, especially. I'm probably my
mom, but I just know what my dad's
like. He's
very protective.
Very.
Which is a good thing.
But I'm sure he made lots of dua
for me. I have 3 sisters and 1
brother. I'm sure he made lots of dua
for all of us that Allah protects us
and safeguards us. And I'm sure he made
that dua.
But he and also the education from,
from him of, like, not engaging in *
outside of marriage and also the education of,
like, if but also my parents,
providing that safe space for me and my
siblings, where if we were interested in someone,
they wanted to know. It wasn't that if
we're interested in number 1 then someone shut
it down and don't go near him. It's
not actually, if you're interested in someone, come
and tell us. So,
that's what I think
Muslim parents need to do now. And I
actually recently said that to my daughter. It's
Like, if you're interested in someone, come and
tell me.
Like, even things like having a crush on
a boy. Come and tell me. Let's talk
about those emotions and what's going on for
you and all that sort of So I
think it's just really important for,
Muslim families to
get to a place where they don't that
the way they don't
promote delaying marriage as long as possible. It's
trying to promote getting married early as early
as possible. But there's so many things, and
I think we would talk forever. But it's
like really preparing kids
for marriage if that's one of the goals,
but just don't delay it so much. But
preparing them mentally, emotionally,
that marriage is a commitment. You just said
it's a big responsibility.
But also changing your views about divorce as
well because,
I won't go into my own personal situation,
but, like, not seeing divorce as
this, like, negative thing. Like, if a if
2 20 year olds got married and they
had the right intention,
and they were educated beforehand,
like, in terms of responsibilities. And they got
married and stayed married for a few years,
but it didn't work out
because they got married young. Mhmm. And ended
up getting divorced.
That's still better than those 22 year olds
having * outside of marriage and then breaking
up. So, like, it's just doing away things
a little bit. But then the intention shouldn't
be that we're getting married just so we
can have *. No. The intention should be,
do these 2 people actually like each other,
love each other, respect each other, want to
actually be committed and potentially stay married for
life? If yes, and they're willing to work
on it and get help if needed, then
yes, let them marry. I think it's really
important
to safeguard young Muslims
against having * after that marriage.
Thank you so much for sharing that with
us. SubhanAllah. Sorry sorry for the tears but
it's okay tears are also beautiful inshallah.
I agree with you. I'm definitely pro
marriage as early as they can be ready
for it. I think that we need to
do more to make them ready for it,
and not like you said just I just
think a couple generations of parents have just
stuck their hands in the sand. And Yeah.
I think
what's interesting and important as well is
parents insisting on marriages being delayed
for all sorts of reasons
Yeah. And assuming that your child is chaste
as well.
And I think that's the part that
and, again, we don't have statistics on this.
Maybe the audience can tell us.
But for those brothers who don't get married
until they're 30,
are they virgins?
And I'm gonna say virgins because I mean
that specifically. Right? Are they virgins? Right? Mhmm.
And are they chaste?
Mhmm. If they're good looking
and popular,
maybe the answer is different from the brother
who maybe is more of an introvert, maybe
who doesn't have conventional good looks, maybe the
you know, the ones who are in more
closed environments, who don't have that much confidence
with women, maybe there I would say, you
know what, they probably have kept themselves, you
know, virgins. But in today's society, what about
*?
Like, it's it's as if parents are assuming
that my child's fine. They can get married.
And daughters as well because we know that
that's been happening as well with daughters is
that Yeah. Parents are making it tough, like
you said,
for people to get married and they're insisting
that their daughter does this first, then does
that first, then does this, then he has
to have that. They have to have this.
They have to have this. And all the
while, they
are assuming
that she is keeping herself chased and that
she's a virgin. And I I do think
that that that those types of expectations are
are increasingly unrealistic. I don't know. What do
you think?
No. I agree with you completely.
I have experience of this
in so many different ways, and I won't,
you know, mention energy cells or anything. But
it's
so common in the Muslim community.
And, actually,
something I saw the village auntie discussed recently
is this concept of halal dating, where she
doesn't, where and just Angelica, village auntie, she
doesn't like the term halal dating because
some people take it to an extreme where
everything is halal
apart from *. So like Oh, is that
what they mean? That what they mean by
halal? Extreme.
That one is there is the other extreme
of, like,
this is literally she she did a either
a live or a real of us. If
you go into village, auntie's page, she literally
answered it very recently.
The other extreme is, like, where, you know,
it's very arranged and you hardly see each
other or get to know each other and
you just kinda get married, which can work
for some people, but she was saying realistically
in the same age. No, it is able
to have a balance. It's impossible to meet
someone and get to know someone in Halal
way within your family, whatever it is like,
but you know, that can't be one extreme
or the other. Yeah. And so, yeah, it's
happening, unfortunately, because marriage is so hard.
And * is so easy
Yeah.
We haven't given our Muslim youth
much choice.
And, like, we can't turn a blind eye
to the fact that majority of Muslim youth,
if not all Muslim youth, have a desire
for *, have a desire for intimacy, have
a desire to want to have a partner.
Like everybody else. Yeah. Like everybody else.
And the and and the sad thing
is that, like, Islam tells us that marriage
should be so easy. Islam doesn't give us
a million, like, prerequisites in order to get
married. Yes. There are some prerequisites, but it's
not like as hard as unfortunately some cultural
communities are making it. So it needs to
be much easier than it currently is,
to help safeguard
Muslims.
Because
sexuality
and * has such an impact on a
person's mental health and spiritual health.
It's so important for us to, like, talk
about this more, which I was why I'm
so glad I'm talking about this with you.
But, like,
like, this filters through into
the real lives of people in the Muslim
communities where they open their eyes and think,
okay, you know what? Islam is not making
it so hard. Why am I allowing my
culture student take this? I need to take
the means to make it easier for my
own kids if I have kids.
Or if I'm in my twenties now, and
I really want to do things right. But
I'm struggling. I need to be confident enough
to talk about this with my own family
and make this a priority
and get them to open their eyes and
speak to a scholar or shift to find
out, figure figure out. And all of that
sort of stuff is really, really important. Yeah.
100%.
And the thing is,
like I told you, families.
Families.
Yeah. It you know,
when we and the other thing I think
that as so I'm Gen z, you're millennial.
I'm Gen x, sorry. I'm not Gen z.
I'm Gen x, you're millennial.
We we have the ability to change things.
Right? Because my children my eldest is 23.
Just yesterday, my son came from England. I
haven't seen him for a year,
and he's he's 20 now. And, you know,
him and his 17 year old brother and
their 14 year old sister, we talk about
marriage
quite regularly, you know, and they they are
very excited when one of their peers gets
married. So, my friend's daughter just got married
again. They're both still
studying. I think she was I think she
was 19 and the boy was 20, and
they were, like, family friends and, mashaAllah, the
moms cooked it up. But, alhamdulillah, it was,
you know, it it it's it's worked out
very well for them so far. Masha'Allah. May
Allah bless them in every way. But
I want my children to see that as
normal.
Yeah. Because that's great.
You've got 2 young people,
you know, very similar backgrounds. Both families are
supportive.
Right? They didn't live together for the 1st
year. We're going to the Waleema, inshallah, next
weekend.
And after the Waleema, they may get a
place together. But
that's normal. Right? And that should be normal
for us. Right? We shouldn't have this this
situation, like you said, where parents
will not accept
anything less than
a full bank account, a house that he
owns, you know, fully established in his career.
He has to have all the pieces in
place and also
be religious, be from the same cultural background,
and be from the same village back home,
and also, like, know how to charm the
mother-in-law. Like, it's like,
why are you doing this? You know, so
many of the re prerequisites that parents and
families put
on potential spouses.
It's so unfortunate because they have nothing to
do with the relationship between these 2 young
people.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. Definitely.
You like the idea
that your daughter married within the culture. You
like that idea but it's just a nice
to have.
Yes. There are some challenges when you marry
outside the culture. I get it. Yeah. And
I respect that. But as a prerequisite, though,
in this day and age
that you actually found someone that your daughter
likes, okay, and who has, you know, who
who likes her,
and they both are kind of compatible, etcetera,
etcetera. And you're gonna say no because he's
not from your cultural background or from your
village back home, it's it's madness to me.
Inshallah, you're gonna see less and less of
that because Inshallah. Yeah. And we are we
are seeing less of that. Generation of of
of parents now. Yeah. Alhamdulillah or what I've
witnessed is we are seeing less and less
of it. But unfortunately,
there are still
many,
many people that are struggling from the messages
I'm seeing where someone will just say to
me, I really wanna get married and I
found someone, but my parents are saying no.
You know, as long as they are a
good Muslim
person,
who you know,
you know, ticks other boxes, Islamically, and, you
know, health wise, whatever wise,
the Yeah, the
ethnic background or cultural background of that person
shouldn't matter that much. Like you said, it's
a nice to have. If you, yeah,
You share a language, if you share a
heritage, it's a nice to have. It is
nice, masha'Allah. But as a prerequisite, you know,
I don't think that it's it's it's valid.
But, okay,
wild card question.
Do you think that in your experience or
from what you've seen, is it ever worth
exchanging your family for marriage? So your family
says no,
and you're like, okay. I'm gonna make because
I know that this has happened before. Right?
Dad says no.
She goes and finds another Wakil who will
marry her to the guy because she's like,
no. My my dad's not practicing or the
you know, my family doesn't understand, etcetera. And
she goes and she marries the person that
she loves or the person that she wants.
In your opinion,
is it, is it worth it?
I would say sometimes yes and sometimes no.
Oh. Because it really depends on it just
really depends on the context
of that person's relationship that they had
with their parents.
The intimacy
piece. Again, it's the intimacy piece.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I can't give a Yeah. Yeah. It
depends. Sometimes, yes. Like, sometimes, yes. Like, if
you have, like, we were saying all this
desire and you only wanna do things the
right way, stanmically,
you wanna do things right. You wanna get
married and have some family, but your family
are making it so hard. And you didn't
just try and then they said no. And
then you went and did it. It's like,
you know, you kept persevering. You kept making
the class of law. You credit Sahar did
all the things, but they were still making
it so difficult. And
they are kind of cultural Muslims that don't
really practice Islam, or they just are,
yeah, turning turning blind. They're not really trying
not really not really actively trying to practice
this. You an as well. Not even giving
you any option. They're like, there's no no
no. And then on top of that, you
don't you're not really that emotionally close to
them.
For what reason, then yeah, I think it
can be worth it. And and not only
that I've seen, like, can happen where someone
gets married that way. And then later on,
you know,
repairs are made and things or sometimes not,
sometimes things get worse. But I think, you
know, but I think if someone were to
just, like, not
treat it seriously,
their parents says no,
and then they just kind of do their
own thing.
Sometimes it can make things worse. Sometimes I'll
say, yeah. It kind of really just depends.
Yeah. No. It depends. I mean, that's that
there was an unfair question, really, because I
think, yeah, you're right. It's it's I don't
have a handle that. I don't have personal
experience with that myself or any of my
own family members.
Like, I really do. I'm so grateful, which
is how I got emotional when I started
talking about my parents. My parents are a
very good example for me in terms of
how marriage and stand should be done. Like,
my mom is from Thailand. She wasn't Muslim
before. She grew up a Buddhist. My dad
is Egyptian. He was born a Muslim. They
married each other very young. I think they
were early twenties when they got married.
So they just set a very good example.
And yes, my dad had a preference. He
wanted all of his
daughters and Of course.
To marry an Egyptian, which Marci. Come on.
My oldest sister didn't. My oldest sister married
a Turkish Cypriot. They're still married with Hamdullah.
They have 2 kids. I married an Egyptian,
but it just happened by chance. I wasn't
looking necessarily for Egyptian, but the boy I
liked in 6th form happened to be Egyptian.
So that was the nice to have for
me. It's a nice to have. And you
know what? Even though it's a nice to
have, there are still challenges. Even though we
have technique from the same culture, you know,
there's just stiff like, there's always gonna be
challenges in every marriage regardless of what if
you tick all the boxes.
Yeah. So I think marriage, I just think
the type of message needs to be, we're
talking about * and intimacy,
how to make it easier if you're not
married, but also how to help
the Muslim youth, especially
with the fact that they were given
this desire from Allah and Allah has given
giving us a very easy solution.
Let's not make it harder than it needs
to be.
And on that note, people, I think that
we will wrap up.
Thank you so much.
Everybody you can find Amir on Instagram.
She
she serves. Okay. She serves on Instagram.
So definitely,
go to the description. I'll be putting the
link in after, inshallah,
to follow sister Amira. And, sister Amira, I
know that you help people as well, and
you coach, and you have, like, a whole
a whole, like,
all the words that are coming to my
mind, empire, business, like, you know, there's there's
there's something happening that you've been building very
quietly over the last few years. Tell the
audience about exactly the work you do and
how you help women and empower other women
to help even more women. Yeah.
My passion is helping women overcome vaginismus.
It's a passion of mine because it's something
that affected me personally.
And that's where this whole
creation of my business and the work I
do online came from vaginismus because the vaginismus,
which if anyone's not aware, is a condition
where women struggle with painful penetration, painful *.
And I saw that it was primarily due
to lack of * education in myself and
in clients. And so that's where my business
started as I saw a need for so
many women needing to overcome this condition,
needing * education in an Islamic way. So
that's what I try to provide through the
content I have on social media. But I
also have courses online courses that people can
buy and can learn from to to overcome
vaginismus, which is one of my courses. I
have another course on pleasure, helping women especially
experience more pleasure and feel more satisfied within
their * life because I really do believe
that * within marriage is so important for
a healthy marriage. And I also have a
course on it talks a lot about kids
and things. I have a a course on
how parents can teach * education
to their kids in an Islamic
faith aligned way.
I used to do a lot of coaching
myself. I've I don't do that as much
now. I have only a few clients,
but I actually have hamdullah
recently over the past year or 2, I
hired a team of coaches that work for
my company that provide the vaginismus coaching to
help coach women with overcoming vaginismus.
And I'm writing a book. I'm writing a
book. Yes. I was going to go there
because someone actually did ask, does she have
books? And I was gonna say, yes, She
does. Tell us about your book that is
coming out in the drama. It's happened. It's
happened in the sense that I've written the
whole book.
Submitted the manuscript to the publisher I'm working
with.
It was it went through one round of
editing and was I received it back, and
I'm working on the edits that my editor
gave me. That's where it's at right now,
and it had to be on pause for
the past few months because
everything happens from a lot. Unfortunately, the publisher
I'm working with
went had to go through bankruptcy.
Long story. And so I'm not sure whether
I'm able to continue with them or not.
They're trying to get an investor to buy
them out or whatever. So actually, it's this
whole thing. I might have to work with
a different publisher. We'll see. I'm making lots
of data out loud to help me decide.
But the book is the book exists. The
book is there and it's just needs to
be done. It just needs to do large
Allah to bring it out.
Yeah. My plan was like, my plan was
to to,
like, wait, so not wait. But I was
like, I want it to happen 2023,
even if it's like
31st December 2023.
But because of the issues, it might not
happen this year might be 2024,
hopefully as early 2024 as possible, but we'll
see. It could happen within the next 2
months. And it will be from Allah if
it happens, but it might not. And it
might be a bit longer. But inshallah, it
will come out. In the meantime,
people can inshallah absorb content from my social
media,
or join my courses if they need a
bit more help or work with one of
my coaches if they need a bit more
help in the meantime before the book comes
out inshallah.
Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. And inshallah, when the book
comes out, inshallah, we will have you back
on the channel again to launch the book
and to share, some of the gems from
the book with us.
And, you know, thank you so much for
coming. It's been a wonderful way to spend
the morning. So, JazakAllah Khuluqayr. And may Allah
bless you and your family, bless you in
all the work that you're doing and allow
it all to be on the scale of
your good deeds on your makayama.
Alright, guys.
You know what to do. You need to
follow sisters Amira. You need to like this
video. You need to share it with your
people. Okay? Make sure that you are subscribed
to the channel.
Sister Zulej has says we hope to see
more live streams.
Oh, we'll see. We'll see. Inshallah. We will
definitely see. But, when I I know that
this platform is here. I know that this
audience is here. So when there is somebody
that I wanna speak to that I know,
hey. We're gonna jump on live inshallah. We're
gonna do this for you guys. Okay? So
please, inshallah,
have a blessed day.
Have a look around the channel, see what's
new, any videos that you haven't caught up
on yet. If this video was interesting to
you,
definitely check out the intimacy conversation. I've had
2 now, I think, with sister Amira.
We we went in deep, okay? We went
in really deep, Masha'Allah, on some really important
topics that we didn't talk about today. So
if you loved today, go and find more
of Ameera. Just search her on my channel
Insha'Allah and then go over to her Instagram
and give her a follow and let her
know that you saw her on Tessa Naima's
channel. And I'll see you guys next time.