Nadim Bashir – Muhammad the Best Example #18 He SAW as a Mediator

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			salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu Bismillah R Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa
Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah him Hamid wala li also big mine, my brother Welcome to another
segment of lists within Huseynov the beautiful examples of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Today inshallah I want to talk about how Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would resolve
conflicts, see, conflicts are inevitable, we always are going to see conflicts, we're going to see
differences of opinion, we're going to see these things in our life. Unfortunately, what people
think is that there should be no conflicts. First of all, if you believe that there should be no
		

			conflicts, then you are absolutely mistaken. And you are living in a different reality.
		

			Conflicts are part of life is going to always happen is going to happen in the community is going to
happen within our family is going to happen within our between us in our spouse, there might be even
common between us in our children, conflicts are inevitable. However, while we learn from the
Prophet some is how to resolve those conflicts, that is where many of us, we have no idea what to do
in that kind of situation. As I like to say, the problem is not that we have problems, the problem
is we don't know how to deal or solve our problems. So keeping that in mind in sha Allah, first of
all, is that I want to go straight into the Quran. That what does the Quran say about actigraph? And
		

			what are the different words that are used when it comes to conflict? There are three different
words I really want to highlight today. One is if the laugh, one is G doll, and one is ship Hawk,
and all two of them, they have their own different they have their own meaning, first of all, is
that if they laugh means that there are two different opinions and two different parties are taking
the different opinions, and SubhanAllah. For example, just to give you an idea, for example, when it
comes to salad, there might be there might be different opinion when it comes to salad. When it
comes to a few key manners, there's always going to be different opinions, we know that there are
		

			four schools of thought when it comes to FIP. And so if a person follows one opinion, and another
person follows another opinion, that's simply an act of love. And that's absolutely fine. And what
we learn from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is that making sure that whenever there is an
act of love, if they are truly based on the Quran, and the Sunnah, then it's important to be
respectful towards one another SubhanAllah. Today, we're living in a time where today, first of all,
is that we're not really open to it enough, we're not open to listening to the other person, we're
not open to disagreement, even when there is a certain matter. So hello, when we find that there's a
		

			certain matter that there are different schools of thought. And you may disagree with that school of
thought. But today Subhanallah we usually go after people, we attack people, we attack people
online, and we make videos after videos just attacking people at times. And so bahala we spend so
much time doing this, remember, if the laugh is inevitable, if enough is there and especially if
there is acted off in there based on the Quran and Sunnah. It may not be in your knowledge, that's
fine. But just because it does not exist in your knowledge does not mean that it does not exist at
all. Just because you don't follow an opinion does not mean that the other opinion does not exist.
		

			So this the very first thing that we need to understand is that there is something called the love
and the profiling some has taught us that when it comes to ft love how we should be respectful
towards each other. The second one is G Don. Don is when you try to defend your position and it
means that you are carrying on a discussion in a contentious manner to simply gain the upper hand or
to simply win out an argument. And for example, Allah subhanaw taala he tells us I'll hurt you I
should have Malou Matt from and follow the fee Hindle hija. For now, Rafa wala for Su o wala G
Donna, Phil Hodge, this word has been used in the context of hedge. Why? Because how many times has
		

			it happened that when it comes to hedge, there's so much bickering, there's so much argumentation
that takes place. And there's so many conflicts that take place, and usually and Hajaj people become
very, they lose their patience, they become very, very contentious. And that's why Allah subhanaw
taala says, large data for hedge that those people they truly are performing a true hedge who do not
engage in any argumentation and SubhanAllah. It's very important, especially when it comes to those
kinds of situations that we don't ever engage. Because engaging, there's nothing that you will get
out of engaging, especially when you might come across someone who's very impatient. You try to be
		

			the bigger person, the better person and to simply walk away and didn't even say anything.
		

			thing, you know, subhanAllah I've seen in homage even I myself, I've been in those kind of
situations, and I've always taken the high road and that is always the best route to take. The next
thing that we find also in the Quran, which is also a type of conflict is she talked, she COC is
when two parties are simply going after each other in a severe and a very harsh way. And the only
they're not seeking out the truth or they're not trying to reconcile. They're simply just trying to
defeat their opponent. And this worship all has been used in the context of marriage, that when
there are such, when there's so much going on between the husband and wife, there's so much
		

			hostility, there's so much disrespect, or there's so much
		

			argumentation and bit and bickering going on between the husband and wife and they simply cannot get
along with each other and they're always after each other. And they're always print trying to put
down each other and there's constantly conflicts taking place. Then Allah subhanaw taala says we're
in the 15 shikaka Bay in HEMA that if you feel like that the husband and wife will get to that point
mean that they have not gotten to that point yet. But if you feel like they will get to that that
really harsh point for buy through hacker my man and he will hack government earlier that get a
person from his side and get a person from her side and II URI that is la han you are for the lobby
		

			Noma Subhan Allah What a beautiful idea this is. Allah is saying that if these people they truly get
together, and their Nia is absolutely true, and she will talk about about Nia, but if they are
sincere in the heart of the true Nia, you were faking level being Muhammad, Allah will give them the
ability to reconcile Allah will help them to come together. So this is something that we find in the
Quran and then once again we find also in the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam the stories of
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that how he was stepped in, in matters of conflict. Did you
know that there were so many stories conference between obika Ravi Allah Who and Amato the Allahu
		

			ion conference between some of the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam conference B between
people of the Muslim community in general, and each one of them the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam he was stepped in, he would try to understand the situation. And he would help out and he
will help resolve the issue we find helpful for loon what happened there we find the situation where
the cover was reconstructed, and they did not have the economic decision as to who will place the
Blackstone, how Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam came and how he was able to unite all four major
tribes that time involved in the construction of the Kaaba, and to keep all their hearts united and
		

			connected, and how he was able to resolve that conflict, in a very peace in a very amicable way.
This is Subhan, Allah what we learned from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now quickly, I
want to I want to cover what are some of the key things that we need to pay attention to, especially
when we are in a position of conflict resolution, if you and I have been asked to step in, and
resolve the situation, first thing is that there are many things that we can cover. And I want to
cover a few things in shallow today, you know, and these are a list of things that I've collected
from the different stories of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. So inshallah we'll just go
		

			through them. First thing is first, and first is to make sure that you have some experience in doing
something like this. If you have absolutely no experience in doing this, and you want to engage in
this matter, or you've been asked to step in as a mediator as arbitrator, or someone to resolve the
conflict between two people. First of all, is that have some experience Subhanallah today, in our
Muslim community, every person thinks that they're Dr. Phil, okay, every person feels like they can
resolve an issue in martial law, they have a master's degree in conflict resolution. And that's not
the case. So first of all, is that making sure that you have I'm not saying that you have to have
		

			immense amount of experience, but at least having some is better than having no experience at all.
The second thing that we learned from the different stories of the Prophet saw some when he came to
convert resolution is that you always hear both sides. Now, one thing I have to really stress upon
this is that one thing that we learn from the Prophet alayhi salam is that he was a great listener.
Yes, he was a great listener. The reason why I want to emphasize upon this is because many times
when we're listening to people expressing or explaining their stories, before they can even finish
off your story, we begin to formulate ideas and generate ideas in our mind and responses in our
		

			mind. So we have probably miss half of the story what this person is saying, or we're not even
paying attention, or before this person can even finish we've already decided who's the guilty
person who's the who's guilty and who's the innocent one. So that's why
		

			We learn from the problems of Salem that part of mediation, part of conflict resolution is that when
you're sitting with the two people, making sure that you listen to both stories, this is something
that's very, very important. Then the next thing is that if there is anyone who is wronged, you see
one person that they are speaking, and they're speaking very harshly to the other person, or
there's, you know, they're going back and forth, as long as it's not disrespect. If there isn't, if
there is a discussion that is taking place, then giving them both the ability and explain them the
diamond o'clock, how to defend yourself, there was a story once that we find about I show the Allahu
		

			anha. And she was approached by Xena below the Allahu anha. And Xena was older than Aisha, of
course. So what happened was that she was, you know, she was talking to Aisha the law on her, and
she was upset about something. But the fact that I saw the alarm on her the property, someone
standing there, he's just, he's not taking anyone side right now. But the fact that I Isha, she
began to defend herself, and she was very respectful about it. In fact, the Hadith in which she
explains about this conversation, that to the way that tuples between her insane and worthy Allah
Juana, she first says how amazing of a woman Xena was, how much duckula she had in her life, and how
		

			much piety she had, she had in her life, she was very positive about this. And then she explained
the how she defended herself. So in a situation that when two people are in a discussion, as long as
it is amicable, as long as they are respectful towards each other, then you have to give both of
them the ability to defend each other. Another thing that we have to also keep in mind is that we
have to exhibit character, whether you are part of the mediation process, or you are one of the
sides, there are probably like two, three sides, or two, three different parties that are involved
in in conflict, every single person has to exhibit the highest level of character. That means that
		

			being respectful towards each other, not yelling, not being harsh, not using profanity, and you
know, subhanAllah, sometimes I've seen in, in mediation meetings, that just people, they lose their
temper very easily. So we cannot one thing that we learn from the person is that no matter what the
situation was, he made sure that everyone was respectful towards each other, did being disrespectful
to one another was something that probably some he will never tolerate. The next one is being
sincere. Now when I say this, I mean that you have to have a very sincere heart that you truly want
them. As Allah says, In UD, that is Lohan if they both want Islam, Why did Allah say this brother
		

			and sisters, is because if these two people who are being who are representing their parties, if
they are coming to the table, but they are trying to dominate the other, they're trying to gain
power over the other, and they're trying to exert their dominance over the other than that is not
being sincere, that is not being sincere. That's why one thing that we learned is, it's always about
sincerity. If you are truly sincere, that you want people to come together, you want peace. And that
means that if you feel let me be very clear, if you feel that you know one person and you don't know
the other person, and you feel that because you know one person, you're going to lean towards their
		

			side and you are leaning away from the other person's side, then the best thing to do in that
situation is you are not you should not even resolve the situation, you should not be a conflict or
you should not be involved in conflict resolution, because one of the things that we learn about
conflict resolution conflict resolution 101 Is that you have to be completely non bias. That means
that you cannot take any one side, even if you know someone, there were cases where the problem he
knew one party over the other, but the person was able to make sure that justice came above
friendship. And so this is another thing that we have to understand. The next thing is having Taqwa
		

			sincerity, that we want people to come together, we truly want to become a peacemaker. But the next
thing is having Taqwa. That means that means that you put friendship aside, and you put justice and
the Aden and equality in front of everything else. Allah subhanaw taala comes before because once
again, when we are here, and we are trying to resolve a conflict, remember, this is not the only
time they're going to meet. We're also going to meet before Allah subhanho wa Taala to and Allah if
I'm in a position where I'm trying to resolve a conflict between two people, then it's better if I
cannot do it, then you simply walk away but if you're going to be involved, making sure that you
		

			cannot side with other people just on the basis of friendship. And not only that, but that also
means that when you are in a situation and you're asked Liz
		

			Say you're not you are standing as a supporter from from when the sides, then making sure that you
do not side with the wrong just simply because of friendship. And that brings me to the next
subject, which is justice and fairness. Any person who's involved in the conflict, the conflict
resolution process, than making sure that above family above friendship, Justice has to be served.
That means that if I'm on the side of a person, but I know deep down in my heart, that this person
is not doing something right, then we cannot be with that person. That also means that when I come
to a conflict, when I come to a resolution process, or a meeting, and I am not me, I'm not. I mean,
		

			I'm not the main person of the party, but I'm just coming to support my friend, or I'm there to
support one particular person, or I'm coming as I'm coming on as a side or being part of one party,
that in that kind of situation, making sure that you do not put what's right above, above, making
sure that friendship comes second, and Quran and Sunnah. And Justice comes before everything else.
SubhanAllah. So many times I've seen in a conflict meeting or in a conflict resolution, meaning that
people come and instead of trying to even bring peace Subhanallah This is why I said earlier, being
sincere. If you're there just to take a side, then you're no good to that meeting, you're you rather
		

			just leave. But if you're there, because you truly want justice, and you want people to come
together, then that is the right person, you have to have the right idea. But I've seen so many
different times when people are coming in, and the only thing they do is that they just support
their friend, no matter what the friend is saying, whether it's right, whether it's wrong, they're
simply just blindly supporting that person, that is not a situation where you want to be in. And in
that kind of situation, you rather deny him and show your support. Because if you show your support,
and if you stand on the side of wrong, then remember that this is not the only place even in the
		

			ACA, Allah will hold you accountable and Allah will declare you as one of the wrongdoers also.
Because whether you are a volume, or you are a supporter of the volume, the same, you will get the
same punishment or you will receive the same kind of consequences, as the volume will be why because
one is the volume and one are the supporters of the volume. And today we find that the worst thing
that we can find today is that we do have volumes, we do have oppressors in this dunya but what's
more dangerous is those who are supporting that and that oppression that is where it becomes very
difficult. This is where we have so this is why we have so many issues to in this dunya so that's
		

			why when it comes to this another province Saddam How did he resolve conflicts, this is why he
shared number one is he had experience number two is he would listen to both sides. Number three is
that he would allow both parties to defend themselves. Number three is he always will show character
he will always demand a character from the others. Next one is he was always at sincere person the
property some was very sincere Of course, trying to bring people together he had Taqwa he will not
take sides above others, or he will not give preference to one over the other due to friendship. And
the last thing the prerelease on will always do is justice and fairness is what supersedes
		

			everything else. And it supersedes every other kind of relationship. So next time we're ever in a
situation, we keep these few things in mind if we're asked to step into a situation. And once again,
I'm going to I'm going to repeat this as I said earlier, if you feel like that you're stepping into
a situation that you cannot resolve, deny even stepping into that situation to begin with. Because
when these matters become very nasty, they become very dirty, then you are stuck in the you are the
person stuck in the middle, and then it's gonna become very difficult for you to step out. So that's
why the best thing is simply just leave it to someone else. Leave it to the experts. And if you are
		

			dragged into the situation, making sure that you observe all these different guidelines of
Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam I ask Allah subhana wa Taala to give all of us ability to understand
these matters. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala and as I said earlier, may Allah resolve our
conflicts, but if we're ever in a situation may Allah subhanho wa Taala give us ability to do what
is right I mean noble Alameen is aka Malachite a salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
		

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