Nadim Bashir – Khatira – Forgive & Forget

			So let me know hey Muhammad Allah who will Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah he Muhammad wa
ala alihi wa sahbihi edge mine, I'm about
		

			Subhanallah many of us because of some kind of experience in life, someone hurting us, or being
through a psychological trauma situation or being victims of psychological trauma, emotional trauma.
Many of us we're living with pain on a day to day basis, we see someone who may have hurt us. And
you look at that person and you have flashbacks, you know, the stories and all the perhaps the
horrors and all the, you know, the negatives, you know, the the feedback or the negative situations
or the pain that we may have endured at one time, they all come back to us. And I'm here just to
share that what have we learned? And what can we do in those kinds of situations? What can we learn
		

			from the Sidra of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa Salaam? The very first thing is that there's a
phrase that you and I, when we were growing up, we learned it was called forgive and forget right?
How many of us we heard this right, forgive and forget. The reality is brothers and sisters, there
is nothing there is no place in the Quran. And there is no place in the Sunnah that ever demands a
person to forget. It's not possible that a person can forget. Because once a person is a victim of
some kind of traumatizing situation, or that they're a victim of abuse, or, or oppression, that is
stays with them for the rest of their life. We learn from the story of the Prophet sallallahu it was
		

			something regarding washi this situation that occurred on the battle of art, the martyrdom of hums
out of the Allahu anha was a memory that was with the province of salaam to the end of his life. He
could never forget it. Yes, when why she came to him and he converted to Islam. It is mentioned that
he would tell washy, that when you come I won't demonize you. I will not hold the past against you.
You are welcome to come and sit in my gathering. But please do not sit right in front of me. Why?
Because when I see you I have flashbacks. So when you come to my gathering sit on the side, it shows
the human side of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, sometimes we you know, we try to compare
		

			ourselves the prophet of Salaam, but when we say the seed of the Prophet, we learned how much of a
human being he was. He had feelings he had, you know, he had his emotions in him too. He was not an
angel. So whenever you see why he wouldn't he would you know he would have flashbacks. And he would
tell him we also learn from SUTA node in the story of the story of if the slander that took place
against each other the Allah Allah when Allah subhanho wa Taala he sent us where Hadith the Prophet
SAW Salem telling obika Indirectly, that this man who was part of spreading lies in slanderous
comments in the community against your daughter, you are financially taking care of him, Allah did
		

			not tell him that you must forget it. You must forget that's not what Allah told him. Allah said,
Forgive him, just, you know, forgive him for the sake of Allah subhanho wa taala. I'm not expecting
you to forget it. So the very first thing is that no one is expecting ever that we can forget a
situation like this. Things happen to us, we remember for the rest of our life. But then what's the
next step after that? Allah subhanho wa Taala says, There are two options that we have. Either we
can forgive that person. And when we talk about forgiving ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada says, and so shut
up. What does that say? Yeah, to say to me through her, the compensation of wrong is the wrong in
		

			itself. Someone does wrong to you, Allah tells us because once again, we have the human side to us.
Sometimes we want to get back to the other person, Allah says that this is one option, you can give
back to the person, but only to the extent that he has caused pain to you, or she has caused pain to
you. However, the other option is for men to offer whoever forgives and forgives mean that you don't
just forget, you know, we're not talking about forgetting it. We're saying forgiving in the sense
that you don't bring it back up again. And again. You don't when you say to a person, I forgive you.
But every single time you'd meet that person, yeah, you know what you did to me? I remember on that
		

			day, that time you did something to me, you're not letting it go. You're innocent. So that's why do
not bring it up over and over again. There's a story based on this idea of the Quran from we learned
from Imam Ahmed humble by the way, this story remember humble humble Rahmatullah. Lee is very well
known that he went through immense amount of oppression, he was a victim of oppression during his
life. During his life, there was so many fitters that that had emerged, the fitna of the Morteza and
so forth. And every single time he was tried to be bribed, people would come to him the
		

			Government officials will come to him. And he never wavered he never gave in. He will stand by the
hook. And because of the fact that he stood by the hump, he was in prison, and he was flogged, and
there were cases are there stories that we find in the books of history, that the skin of his back
were was peeled off, because he never gave into the false ideologies. He stood by the hook. Now the
people who would cause this pain and this torture to him, it is mentioned that his own son, Salah,
came to him and he says that oh my father, what do you have to say? Because people were coming to
Imam Muhammad humble, and they were seeking forgiveness from him, that we caused you so much pain?
		

			And we were not you know, we did not we were not supposed to do that. But can you forgive us for the
sake of Allah subhanho wa taala. And he said, I would forgive you. And then Salim said to him, that
what about those people who have passed away? What about them? And he says, I forgive them too. So
then Salim said, that I understand that you forgive those who are coming to you. There is some
genuine regret, there is genuine remorse. They're sorry about what they have done. But the people
who have passed away, they never came to you. They never asked for forgiveness, and you still want
to forgive them. And he says that he brings up a narration of hustle and bustle Rahmatullah LA and
		

			he says, that on the Day of Judgment, everyone will be on their knees, and ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala
will make a declaration he will make an announcement that only those people stand up upon whom I
have to give them an agile, upon whom I owe them something. And based on this idea, because it's
either says, from an alpha, whoever forgives what Elsa and they reconcile, for ajuda who and Allah
because brothers and sisters, it is no small is not a small deed, you know how difficult it is to
forgive someone who was hurt you, you know how difficult it is, and not just that, but what US law
that you reconcile, mean, the next time you meet them, you know, what is it you forgive a person and
		

			you just stay out of their way, you don't want to see them, you don't want to meet them whenever
they come from one way you walk the other way. That's one way of doing it. But one is US law. And
you reconcile to the point that you just bury the hatchet and you just move on in life, we'll also
have a general rule and Allah, Allah will say that only those people stand up upon whom I have to
give an agenda. And Imam Muhammad Muhammad says, I want to be from amongst those who can stand up
and they can say to Allah subhanho wa Taala that you owe me an agenda. He says, This is why I have
learned how to forgive other people. Now, this is one option. But the there is another second option
		

			that is a person just chooses not to forgive. And by the way, as human beings, sometimes we just
need time, you know, they say in English, time is the best heal. We've heard this before, that you
go through a situation a very negative situation in your life, and you just need time to heal
inside. And if a person comes to you and says that, can you please forgive me, by the way to say
that I need time to forgive I need time to overcome. There's nothing wrong in saying that. You know
why? Because we find evidence of that in the Quran. When the brothers of us fighting Islam came to
their father, yeah, pool. And they said, Yeah, abana Estelle fildena The new banana in Kona Javi.
		

			And oh, our father seek forgiveness for us we did wrong. What did the Father say? I forgive you on
the spot. No, he says so for a self it will come. I will do it in the future. I need time to get
over this. Give me some space. Give me some time honestly. And if someone comes to you, if first of
all, if we have hurt anyone, and we go to them and say please forgive me for the sake of Allah. And
we say for the sake of Allah, first of all, you hurt that person. And if you say if that person says
I need some time, then this person says, Well, you know, what kind of person are you? You know,
forgive me for the sake of Allah. That is absolutely wrong. You cannot judge a person when they say
		

			I need time, this absolute you need to give that person some time. But then second thing that
there's few things that we have to do in that kind of situation. Number one is do not hold a grudge.
You know, and you know, there's if you talk to life coaches, they will, they will tell you
something, thoughts, generate feelings, feelings, generate actions. When you have a thought in your
in your mind that he's done, or she's done something wrong to me, it will generate a feeling that
feeling is usually hatred, it's animosity and so forth. But then that generates an action which is
that you want to get even with that person. What we need to learn is that this grudge that sometimes
		

			we hold in our heart is so unhealthy for you. Wallahi is going to drive up your stress is going to
drive up your anxiety is going to make you miserable in life. And this is why Subhanallah this kind
of ill feelings and grudges that we sometimes sit down with our heart is no good for us. And this is
why Allah tells us in the Quran, one of the most beautiful thing
		

			He's about when we go to Jana is Allah says one zonna fees for duty him in A Reelin Allah he will
take away all this animosity, the hatred, the ill feelings that we have towards one another. Allah
will take that out. Because today Subhanallah you can live in a very luxurious situation. There are
people who have so much money, they live in big mansions, they have so many cars, you will look at
that person and you would feel I want that person's life. I wish I had that person's life. But you
know, sometimes they're sitting down with so much animosity and so much hatred in their life, that
it drives them and they have so much stress. Sometimes they can sleep at night. You know how many
		

			people have told me that there are so many problems they have had and so many people have done wrong
to them that they can sleep at night. What we need to do once again is if you need time to forgive
that person, take your time. But the second thing as I said, do not hold a grudge. Learn learn how
to just live with it because at the end of the day, when we say Maliki yo Medina, Allah will provide
justice you want justice, leave it to Allah, Allah will take care of it. And subhanAllah we learned
that anyone who does vote against anyone else, Allah does not let it go. They may get away they may
think that they got away, but in the law in the eyes of Allah on the Day of Judgment, no one will
		

			get away. So you can leave it to Allah subhanho wa Taala but to live with that over and over again,
is not healthy, and just learn how to drop it for a temporary time and leave it to Allah subhanho wa
Taala leave your matter you don't want Musa your son What do you say? He says ofall widow Omri it
Allah, I leave my matter in the hands of Allah Subhana Allah take care of it. So these are just few
things I want to share the How can we deal with the stresses of our life? What how can we deal when
we have been through a negative, a negative situation a painful circumstance in our life? How can we
go about Africa in our life? I ask Allah subhana wa Tada to clear our hearts. May Allah subhanho wa
		

			Taala relieve us of our stresses and our anxieties and may Allah subhanaw taala bring peace in our
life and you know, beyond I mean, is that Kamala haga said I'm already going to labor Academy