Mustafa Abu Rayyan – 54 Tafseer Surah alBaqarah Verse 229
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The speakers discuss the importance of Islam's marriage and divorce laws, emphasizing the need for a strong will and privacy in marriage. They stress the importance of avoiding divorce and the need for a strong will to avoid problems. The process is designed to avoid war, privacy, and dangerous behavior. The speakers provide guidance on how to end a marriage, avoid problems, and handle divorce. They also emphasize the importance of respecting each other's opinions and not rushing into divorce.
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We are still
doing the ayats that are related to divorce.
And as you mentioned several times, alhamdulillah, the
book of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is a book that
contains lessons in morality, right and wrong,
tawheed and Allah belief in Allah, belief in
the unseen,
the hereafter admonishment and reminders as well as
laws that help us govern our lives and
understand
how we should live.
And Surat Al Baqarah,
the latter part of it heavily focuses on
these laws. We covered many related to the
prayer, to hajj,
to fasting,
and now we are in family law and
divorce proceedings
and what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said about
them.
We covered,
last week and the week before, a few
things. We covered oaths
and the rulings of oaths and that certain
oaths are,
that, when someone swears about Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala
that they are meant to keep that oath
unless
they find that the oath that they made
for exam that
breaking it is better. What would be an
example of someone swearing an oath and then
realizing breaking it is better? If he for
example says to his brother in anger, wallahi,
I will never visit your house again. He
said in a moment of anger and he
swore by Allah. Now normally when you swear
by Allah you meant to keep it. But
this time he swore by Allah he's never
gonna visit his brother.
What did we learn? That when the prophet
told us that if you swear an oath,
I will never do this again or I
will do this. Then realize
that that thing is better that you do
it that you expiate your oath by fasting
3 days
or feeding,
or clothing
masakin, and we mentioned the details of that,
when you realize that
breaking it is better. Then we spoke of
a particular oath, which is if he's a
man, makes an oath that he will not
be with his wife and will not be
intimate with her, and that there were
rules related to that as well. What was
that called, Ali?
Al ilah or ilah. Right? And how long
can he do that for?
4 months maximum. Anything beyond that, the wife
can go to the courts,
and then they can absolve that marriage if
he insists on not being a husband to
her. So this idea that a man can
just be gone forever, and this is not
the case.
Then we went into the rules related to
talaq themselves, and we mentioned that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala said,
that when a woman gets divorced,
that her waiting period is 3.
And what does a mean? It means 3
periods.
So she goes through a cycle then becomes
pure again, then goes through a cycle then
becomes pure again, then goes through a cycle
then becomes pure again. And in that period
that I just described,
which can be anything to 2 months or
less or more,
that the man has the right to take
her back if he chooses to do so.
So we spoke about a couple,
a man says his wife, I divorce you.
The moment he says that and he's only
allowed to say it once, it is haram
for you to say it 3 times.
It is haram for men to say to
their wives I divorced you 3 times. This
is a sin within itself according to the
vast majority of scholars because you're meant to
issue 1 divorce
in each time. You can't say 3 times
or this. This is not allowed.
Now
you you say it once,
then
immediately
the
waiting period
goes into effect.
And when that goes into effect,
you have the right to
take that back. The the divorce is issued,
is used now, and you only get to
use to the third one when you use
it, you can't take her back.
During the waiting period, it is the husband
that has the right to take his wife
back. She She does He doesn't need to
ask her permission for that. He doesn't need
to ask her permission for that. So he
said to her, I divorce you. Then what
happens? First of all, Allah mentioned in Surah
Al Talak that he's not allowed to kick
her out of the house nor is she
allowed to leave. They're actually meant to stay
together.
And this is very interesting. A lot of
people they get confused by this. Allah says
even when you issue the first divorce, you
stay in the same house together. Maybe separate
rooms or you stay in the living room,
whatever, but you stay in the same house
together.
And you still fund and and pay the
bills and and you do all of this
because
this waiting period is the time where you
assess do you want to stay together or
not.
And more often than not when people cool
down, they realize you know what we should
stay together. That happens more often than not
which is why Allah says Perhaps
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will bring about some
happiness and peace. Something will happen so you
stay
together. But
she's a she's
a divorcee between brackets. Not a real one.
She's not gone forever.
So in that a week later, 10 days
later,
he may decide you know what,
I'm gonna take you back. And that can
be done through speaking
or that can be done through action. So
if they become intimate,
this is equivalent to him saying I take
you back.
These are some of the scholars would encourage
they would say, it is encouraged for the
wife to
to, incentivize and beautify herself so that the
household can stay together. And this is very
important to stand.
In Islam,
for keeping
the wife and husband together
is an objective. We don't want our homes
to be break. We want them to stay
together which is why it was like even
if you divorce, only issue on divorce. You
have this time period to reconsider. Stay in
the same house. Be good to each other
through divorce and through marriage. All of this
has been in place.
Then
there's a clock. Let's say he doesn't take
her back.
All the way until the
period is gone. It is over. Right? She
has a 3rd cycle and then he realized,
you know what? I want to take you
back. He can't do that anymore.
Now if he wants her back, he needs
to ask her permission
and he has to pay her a new
dowry and he has to get married to
her again.
Right? This is so now if the period
if the waiting period, which is 3 cycles
ends,
then
she has the option to say, sorry. I'm
gone. I I'm not interested, and it's over.
Or
they can discuss and he can take her
back, And when he takes her back, does
it reset the amount of divorce that they
had or do they stay together with whatever
is left? What do you guys think?
Whatever is left. There's no reset. So if
he issued 1
and the waiting period, he didn't take her
back and then it was over and then
it's been a year or something. And like,
listen, we need to get back together. They
can. But if you do get back together,
he only has whatever issue divorces he issued.
Right?
Payee. We also mentioned
in the previous lesson
that
well, once
once he does take her back, he can
divorce her again one more time and then
he can take her back. By the 3rd
time, if he lets her go, it's over.
By the 3rd time this is why you
need to separate the deluxe. There's no such
thing as giving a child at once. You
separate them.
If he issues a divorce a third time
then he cannot take her back ever again
unless five things happen.
Unless number 1,
she gets
remarried.
She gets
remarried.
And that marriage is one that was done,
genuinely to another not for the sake of
going back to the old one. It has
to be a genuine marriage
and and that marriage,
they are intimate.
And then that man divorce her. A genuine
divorce. Not hey, can can you divorce my
ex wife for me back? Not that.
And then she has her idag again, then
she can get back.
Right?
And then once he get back, is it
like let's get back together? No. He has
to go to her father again or her
brother again and request it and marry her
wedding, everything.
And then they can get back together and
if that happens,
does that reset the amount of dalakhs?
It does.
That resets it by Eid.
And it does happen sometimes. You see people
that after 20 years or 15 years they
come back together after all that. But may
Allah keep us home homes intact.
So, ayah number 229.
Allah says,
Divorce is twice.
When we say divorce is twice,
that means the third one
is called
She it's over.
After that, after you issue the second one,
you have an option.
Retain your wife
with kindness
and with and with reason.
Or tasreehum bi ikhsan, release her with kindness.
This is referring to the 3rd divorce. Khalas.
You wanna be done with it? Release her
with kindness. And it's amazing how Allah says
stay with each other in kindness and also
end the marriage in kindness because it is
during these turmoil periods that people become very
vengeful, hateful and angry and Allah's telling us
that's not the case. That's not what Muslims
do. That whether when we are together or
when we are separating it should all be
done in kindness
and within reason and reasonable terms.
Then Allah
said,
Allah
said, and it is not allowed
for men
to take from their wives
the mehr or the dowry
that they gave to
them except when both parties fear that they
would be unable to keep the limits ordained
by Allah. What does that mean? So
sometimes
there is turmoil in the house
and the husband and the wife, they're not
seeing eye to eye and there's a lot
of problems happening.
What are their options?
So what does the man what can the
man do? Because the man is on the
issue of divorce. He can divorce his wife.
He can divorce his wife. Now
sometimes.
So what happens when he divorces her?
If he never paid her dowry, he has
to pay her dowry.
Right? It's her right.
So sometimes
he was paying it in installments
or he paid half and half or he
hasn't paid at all because that's all allowed,
you don't have to pay the dowry the
day you marry her. You can pay the
dowry a year later, a week later, whatever
you guys agree on in installments, 10 years
later. It all depends. It's on it's it's
her money
that she owes to, you have to pay
her and you can don't so all happens
sometimes. Adam says, listen,
if I divorce you I have to pay
you that money and I don't feel like
it. So, what I'm gonna do is,
you want me to divorce you?
Pay me back the money I gave you
or pay me this much.
This is not allowed. Men cannot hold their
wives ransom like that. Like, I will divorce
you if you what? Payment. This shouldn't happen.
Except for one case.
Is there ever a case where the marriage
can be dissolved? And this is why we're
now gonna speak about what is called what
is called? So
it is important to understand in Islam,
a marriage,
we see it as something that has sanctity.
It must be protected, preserved. Men should be
in the best behavior. Women should be on
the best behavior. They should give each other's
rights. All of this.
All of this.
But
is there options
for the husband
when he is unhappy or his rights are
not being fulfilled? Yes. What can he do?
He can issue a divorce.
Is there an option
for the
wife if she's unhappy or her rights are
not being fulfilled? Yes. It's called hula. It's
called what?
Now
is when a woman
asks for a divorce
in return
paying her husband. In return for paying her
husband. Now what is what she and this
is based on a story that happened during
the time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam.
And this happened to a companion. A great
companion that was known as Thabit ibn Uqais.
Thabit ibn Uqais.
Was one of the companions
that was promised Jannah.
A great great companion of prophet
He was extremely eloquent and often would speak
for the prophet
He was the type of man that when
he spoke everyone
listened to.
And his wife
came to the prophet
and she said to the prophet, oh prophet
of Allah,
I do not blame Sabet for any defect
in his character or his religion.
He's a good
man, good Muslim, and good character.
But
I dislike
I being a Muslim,
dislike to behave in an Islamic manner if
I remain with him
And why would she behave in an Islamic
manner? Did somebody why I'd mention that she
did not find him attractive at all.
She did not find him attractive
at all and she could not bear being
with him.
Now,
did the prophet say you married him, use
your husband, go back to him, Astaghfirullah.
No.
Prophet
said to her, will you give back the
garden
that your husband gave you as mehar?
She said, yes.
Then the prophet said to Thabit, oh Thabit,
accept your garden and let her go.
Accept your garden and let her go.
Here
we learn so many lessons. 1,
you learn
that
if the wife wants out of the marriage,
if she's the one,
orchestrating it or she's the one initiating it,
is she ever allowed to do this?
Yes.
If she has good reasons.
If she doesn't have good reasons,
a hadith will apply to her.
My sisters,
if you end your marriage for no good
reason, there's a hadith that will apply to
you. And that hadith is any woman that
initiates a divorce or divorces her husband without
due cause, that she will not receive the
fragrance of paradise.
Because we're not allowed to willy nilly destroy
our marriages like that.
But
at the same time, if a woman says,
I cannot bear my husband.
I can't I cannot I don't want I
I I don't want I can't be with
him. It's it's it's Are we gonna say,
we don't care. Stay.
I am unhappy. We don't care. Stay. Does
he pay the And and then look at
things. He pays the bills, puts food on
the table and
has children with you.
That's all you need.
Stay with them. Is Islam gonna say that?
No. That that's not how it works.
Like the case of Fabbit. What did she
say?
He has no problem in his deen and
his and his character.
So sometimes you'll be in a situation where
that happens and then
the husband didn't cause the issue.
So because he spent on her,
he paid her meher, it makes sense that
he says, okay. If you want out, at
least pay something back. At least pay something
back.
So how come he can't ask money when
he's issuing a divorce?
Marcin, why do you think?
Because he's issuing a divorce and he can't
ask money for that in return. But this
time he's not requesting it, the wife is.
And if she's requesting it so what are
some of the differences between hula
and talaq? Talaq is a divorce. There are
big differences. Number 1, who initiates the talaq?
The husband. Who initiates the hula?
The wife. Number 2, how many times can
you do the hulah?
Twice and the third time it's
it's it's over.
Khulr,
it doesn't have a number.
It doesn't have a number.
Another one is that
you can only do dalap at specific times.
Where you can't issue a dalap when a
woman is on her cycle, for example. You
can't divorce your wife if she's on her
monthly cycle. There's a lot of people don't
know this. It's not allowed.
If your wife is in the middle of
her cycle,
you have to wait until she becomes pure,
showers, then you issue the divorce. But the
can happen anytime.
And, there are other differences as well.
Now,
how much can the husband ask?
Can he say, okay, you want a divorce?
Yeah.
I wanna start a business. Give me a
100 k.
Do you want out? Give me a 100
k. Can he say that?
Majority of the scholars say no. He can
only request however much he gave her as
dowry. He can only request
however
much he gave her as as her mehre
as her dowry, not more. Some ulama say
he is allowed to request more and if
she agrees that's fine. So if he says,
listen,
I I I spend on you a lot.
I bought you gold. I did this
and I gave, you know, and I give
you this 10,000 in in in in, for
your dowry.
Give me 15,000.
Can you say that? Yes. Yes. So so
some of the other say he can say
that. If she agrees, she she pays that
money and she's gone.
Also another difference is how many cycles did
she have to wait for the dalaq?
3. For the hulah, one cycle and she
can go and get married.
So
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
And it is not halal for you, oh
men, to take from your wives that which
you gave to them. So you a man
cannot just say, you know what? I feel
like divorcing you, but I won't do it
unless you pay me. You know what? I'm
gonna pay me and I'll you know, and
and make life difficult on her. So if
a husband makes life difficult on her, you
know and he says listen, you want out,
you want out, just pay money.
Or he just realized his wife, masha Allah,
she got good inheritance
and he's like you know I want some
of that money
and he makes life difficult on her. She's
like, why are you doing this? Listen, do
you want me to stop?
Or you want out of this marriage? Pay
You can't This is not allowed. Right? This
is not allowed.
The only time an exchange
of let me go and I will pay
you can happen,
is if it's coming from the wife. Anything
that's coming and being initiated from the husband,
he doesn't get anything in return.
Is that clear?
Except if they're both fearful or they think
or know that they will not be able
to keep the limits ordained by Allah. One
of the things that is mentioned is that
Thabit's wife,
she when she said
to the prophet,
I am fearful that I will not be
able to keep
his rights to him is that she wasn't
she was worried that if he tried to
be intimate with her that she would she
would refuse and you're not allowed to so
she was worried about that because she did
not find him, so she was worried that
she cannot
fulfill his rights.
And what does Allah say here? If both
parties fear that they would be unable to
keep the limits ordained by Allah and to
deal with each other on a fair basis,
that's what it means, then
there is no sin
on either of them
if she gives back the mihr
or a part of it
to be divorced. And this is called what?
So now you've you've learned
two ways of ending the marriage.
Talaq,
which is issued by the husband
and hulur,
which is initiated by the
wife.
Now can
this should happen
in the court?
So when the khulu has happened, who assesses
that it is a valid reason,
that the request of money is the judges
but if she like like she came to
the prophet. This female companion, she came to
the prophet. So it's not something you can
do at home. Listen. You know what? Get
I'll give you my card. It it wouldn't
work that way. There has to be some
sort of proceedings or they come to a,
Islamic
organization or something like this.
There is a third way of dissolving a
marriage
and that is known as a a judge
judges
the the dissolve dissolving the marriage. It's not
called fasah.
It's called fasah. So you learn 3 things
now.
Which is when the husband divorce.
Khulak, which is when the wife requests
a divorce in return to give him back
the dowry he paid her.
And 3
is a fasakh, which is done by the
judge
when,
which when he sees that this marriage needs
to be ended for reasons and he dissolves
it automatically.
So those are the the three things.
So what do you learn there? You learn
in Islam
there are so many laws and so many
admonishments
and so many reminders on keeping the family
together. Right? The husband is told
the best among you, oh men, are those
are the best to your wives. The wife
is told if your husband is pleased with
you, this is one of the ways to
Jannah. They are told if you stay together
and have a good family and raise beautiful
kids upon Islam, this could be a means
to Jannah. And we are told that divorce
is something Allah does not like. We're told
all of this. So you're told all of
then it was you were told if you
divorce her, stay together in the home. Perhaps
you guys will reconcile. All of this is
in place to keep the family together. But
those few instances
where
being together is harmful, because sometimes it is,
and how many sometimes I will hear about
a wife and husband and their relationship has
become so toxic,
so difficult
that they are both living,
* on earth.
Constantly upset. Constantly yelling. Constantly shouting. It's not
good for them or for the kids.
Are we going to say, you have to
stay together?
We're not gonna say that. Are we going
to,
also every couple that come to us, oh
you guys had a fight, mate, let her
go. Sister, assalamu alaikum. That's also not Islam.
Islam is balanced in the middle. Islam is
balanced in the middle which is why people
are not forced to say in marriages they're
unhealthy.
At the same time, we do everything we
can to keep couples together. Does that make
sense? And it's an important balance to have.
It's an important balance to have. And really
look at the prophet and how he dealt
with the story of Thabit and his wife.
So again, khuluur is the parting of the
wife. The parting also is coming from her,
from her husband and giving the husband a
compensation for it. Allah says this is allowed
for a once they realize that they can't
keep their rights for each other and there's
no sin falajunaha there's no sin alayhima
upon them both
in whatever she gives back as mehr
or she gives back.
Question, who pays this? What if she doesn't
have any money?
Can she ask other people to pay on
her behalf?
Yes.
So scenario,
a wife
realized that this marriage is not working for
her and she wants to leave. She tells
her husband, listen. I'll pay you back whatever
you gave me. Let me go.
And then she says, but I don't have
the money but my brother will pay on
my behalf.
Is that allowed? Yes. It's allowed. My father
will pay on my behalf. Can he say
no, I want your money not his money?
He can't say this.
It doesn't matter where the money comes from.
There's one time it doesn't matter though.
Astaghfirullah,
one time it does matter.
If some guy
who happens to be interested in her says
I'll give your husband the money, This would
not be
allowed. That would be the ones that are
allowed. So it should be her olia.
The people that would normally give her away
in marriage. The people that are family that
take that care for her and her well-being.
Right? Not some guy that is interested in
her. This will not be allowed. It's important
that we make that distinction lest you start
causing problems.
May Allah protect us and our families.
Then Allah subhanahu I want you to look
at this.
These are all laws and rules and if
this happens then that's allowed and if this
happens
But within the rules, Allah is constantly reminding
us to fear him, to obey his limits.
It's aajib, which shows you that
yes there are laws and rules and you
can divorce her at this time and and
this person can pay for it. But at
the end of the day,
the common
thread is fear Allah
in all of your interactions.
Then Allah says,
after Allah told us
that men are not allowed to be harmful
to their wives because one of the things
that would happen is,
men are not allowed to be harmful to
their wives by saying to them,
by harming them and making life difficult on
them and then saying, listen, Shala, I'll stop
if you buy your way out and trying
to get money from out of them. This
is not allowed.
But if she decides then it is allowed.
Then Allah tells us if the marriage, the
turmoil is too difficult then she is allowed
to opt out as long as she gives
back the mehre.
The scholars say
it can be less than the mehar
but what about more? Can it be more
than the mehar?
Can he ask for a 100k, 200k? No.
Most of the ulama say this is not
allowed because again this would be harmful to
her. She's stuck. Where is she gonna get
the money from?
But then Allah reminds us
Everything we mentioned,
the rules and the laws, they are the
limits
set by
Allah. Do not transgress them.
And whoever transgress the limits set by Allah,
those that will divorce for no reason, sisters
that will ask
for no reason,
men that will be will be harming their
wives, Women that will be all of this
will ever transgress
these limits.
Indeed
they are the wrongdoers.
Then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said,
If he divorced her
the 3rd time,
Then she is not lawful to him
until she has married another husband. We mentioned
this earlier. So if you if you watch
it the 3rd time, the only they can
ever get back together is if she gets
married again first.
Then Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says
and if this new husband that she married
ends up divorcing her and all of that
has to be genuine. It can't be planned.
In some cultures, in some places, the oof,
I divorced her the 3rd time. And then
they both look together for a man that
can quickly marry her and then divorce and
she can marry her again. This is not
allowed. The prophet cursed that person.
Cursed is the one who is making his
doing doing the this act and the one
that's facilitating it. It's not allowed. It has
to be genuine, which is why
which this is one of the interesting things,
that you know especially, we work at the
masjid and sometimes you're dealing with couples and
stuff.
The man will divorce his wife.
I divorce sometimes. I'll divorce you 3 times.
5 minutes later,
sheikh,
is there any way out? I didn't mean
3
hours. 5 minutes late. Same thing sisters. She'll
be breaking the
dishes and divorce me, divorce me. I don't
want to be with you,
And then
the next day, Sheikh, last night we went
to the fight
and is there any way for us to
to be together?
Why are you guys always going to the
extreme?
This is not how it should be. Right?
Often you'll find out people they actually want
to be together but they're just using up
their divorces. And then later your sheikh, is
there any any,
solution for us? Any solution for us. And
you know it's it's difficult sometimes. Sometimes
one one of, my teachers told me that
a couple came to him. They're holding hands.
Sheikh, I finished all my divorces
but we want to be together.
This woman is free from you. Khalas, it's
over. And then she says, Sheikba, we really
want to be together.
And what do you do? It's,
it shows you that there is sometimes
a recklessness,
a recklessness,
that you will find.
And
the tough part was
the sheikh asked them, Daeib,
did you
issue them all 3 at the same time?
Because if that's the case
then there are some elements that say,
if you issue it in one sitting it
counts as what? As one. So maybe there
is some
leeway there. He said no. It was 3
several 3 separate times. Meaning there's no really
I said there's nothing I can do for
you guys. Do you want me to make
halal for Allah made haram?
And he said, they walked out together. I
don't know. They said we're gonna go to
another sheikh.
Do you see the harm? This is why
we you need foresight. Brothers, there's a reason
why Allah put the the dalaq and divorce
in your hands.
Don't use it.
Don't rush into
it. Sisters, stop asking for it when you
get angry. Honestly. And some cultures are worse
worse than others. But in any case,
don't don't go there.
It should be a last resort. It should
be a last
resort.
And it should be something that you think
about,
which is why there are so many,
rules in place. Right? Some might say, and
even there's a narration that supports it, that
every divorce should have witnesses. So how should
it be done? A man is upset at
his wife and he wants to divorce her
or she's saying I'm done with you. I
wanna divorce you. They wanna end the marriage.
And
then, first of all,
are you on your cycle at the moment?
When our sister on the cycles there are
the hormones, it can have an effect on
the emotions.
Are you allowed to divorce your wife when
she's on a cycle?
No. So then, oof. So I can't do
it now. I have to wait for another
what? 5 days. What's likely going to happen
in those 5 days? You're going to what?
Calm down and forget about it. Isn't that
true?
Then after that, there's another rule.
If you have been intimate,
you can't divorce
her. If you've been intimate,
you have to wait until the next cycle
and until the next cycle
or a pregnancy appears
or the next cycle and then the next
cycle has to end because he's gone divorced.
And it's like, so how long do you
have to be this time? A lot longer.
Right?
I I want to divorce you. Well, you
can't because, this many days ago we were
intimate. I have to wait. Okay. We have
to wait how long? Okay. Until you cycle.
Let me know your cyclist.
2 weeks later, my cyclist will say, forget
about it. We don't want to do it.
So if people knew these rules and apply
them, you can't just issue it here willy
nilly, can you?
These are all in place
then we need witnesses. Well it's 12 AM.
Who's going to be here? Let's wait till
tomorrow
and then then that will diffuse the situation
and but what if you had witnesses
and you waited for the right time?
If people just applied these
laws,
divorce would go down because
you're not angry anymore. And if after calling
witnesses,
after waiting for the right time,
after biding your time, after having this many
discussions, you decide, okay, khalas, I'll give you
one divorce.
And it's done. Witnesses see it. Okay. Now
what? Allah said she has to stay home.
Okay. You go to your room. I go
to my room. What's for dinner tonight? You're
still in the same house.
You're still in the same house. And what
did Allah say? Perhaps they will reconcile and
something will happen so they stay and you're
told stay with each other in kindness. Now
what happens? Now you guys are separated
but still together, and you have 3 cycles
to work that out.
In those 3 cycles, she's encouraged to convince
you. You're encouraged to change her mind.
After all of that
and listen,
I think my 3rd cycle is about to
finish.
Okay. So then he'll
I take you back.
Or after that, halas.
I'm I'm done and then it's over. And
when that's like and then even after that,
how many did you issue? Just
just one. So what option is there left?
Even if it ends,
it ended and the halal is okay then
you moved out or she moved out whatever
the case is. But you only issued 1.
Then it's been a few months.
You've been co parenting of your children and
it's been a few you're like, you know
what? I think I was I think I
rushed into this. There's still option. Sister, I
think we should make it work again. My,
not
because you only issued 1, she'll okay. Speak
to my dad. We'll make it happen. I'm
also interested.
And then you marry again.
If
then,
if people apply this,
wouldn't divorce be something that happens a lot
less?
Now
one of the ayats that we will cover
in shaa Allahu Ta'ala next week,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks about this particular
scenario.
A husband divorced his wife. This happened in
the time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam. A husband divorced his wife
and he didn't take her back.
In the period, which is how many cycles?
3 finished
and after it finished, khalas.
She went on her way.
Then he decided,
I need I need to get back to
her. He went to her father,
I feel like I made a mistake. I
think we can make it work. I want
her back.
The father
who's a companion said,
I've honored you more than any other man
by allowing you to marry my daughter.
You divorced her, you didn't take her back.
Her 'idah finished. She's with me now. I
will never let you take her back.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
that
we are not allowed to do that. Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says,
And when you have divorced women and they
have fulfilled the period, do not prevent them
from marrying their former husbands,
if they mutually agree on reasonable terms.
So even after all that, yes, you you
you divorced my daughter, you can never take
her back, we don't do this,
But this can only work, this system can
only work if we follow the rules. But
what do we have instead?
She's being divorced but she's on a cycle.
They're divorcing each other 3 times. Sometimes they
say, I said 1,000 times. What does that
mean?
I told her I divorced her a 1,000
times. Is that 3? Is that 1?
Right? And all of this
is is a problem. Not to mention before
that Allah says
when there's problems
This is one of the best ayahs for
couples that are struggling.
Allah said that sent an arbiter from her
side of the family. 1 from his side
of the family.
Allah Allah is saying this. My sisters and
my brothers,
Allah is saying this.
If they want reconciliation,
if they want to make it work, really
do want to make it work, you are
fiqh
Allah
will bring the house together.
So we have to put the work in
and this teaches us insha Allah
the the family dynamics and
because we have the rules and the laws
and we have the ethics and the morals
under them. What are the ethics and morals?
Teach me to each other with kindness, giving
each other chances,
forgiving each other, not being harsh, loving each
other, and all of this. And then on
top of that we have these laws that
protect each person. If the wife is struggling
in the marriage, she has an option out
which is called
hula. If the husband, he has the option
which is called
taraq, and there's also then the fasq that
the judge can do as well in certain
certain scenarios.
I'm going to conclude the lesson here today
inshallah ta'ala. I, I did mention that the
following few lessons are gonna be a bit
fiqki heavy where we're talking about
and rulings
and things like this.
We'll continue,
next week. We will do 2 130 and
230
22323
Insha Allahu Ta'ala. You have a question?
Yes. It does her right. But more often
than not, they tend to forgive it. Yeah.
Because a woman can't forgive it. Yeah.
If there are no more questions, we conclude
here.