Musleh Khan – The Heart of the Family – Sound Heart Conference

Musleh Khan
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The heart of a family is how much wealth, security, and power they can accumulate to sustain their family. The family is not losing their youth but finding someone to relate to them and relate to their language. The speaker discusses struggles with co-ownership and finding a partner for life, emphasizing the importance of praying together and finding fulfillment in relationships. The importance of finding fulfillment in relationships is emphasized, and parents are encouraged to use Facebook to inspect inseeds and find the right person to create a home.

AI: Summary ©

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			Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim
		
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			al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala to many millennia Hydra Hulk Allah. While
early he was heavy he he married a murder borrowed my brothers and sisters,
		
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			my companions,
		
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			my friends and my family's.
		
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			My
		
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			my companions in this world and insha Allah who tada my companions in the Hereafter,
		
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			my beloved hearts that are here to purify your soul to purify your Amen, and most importantly, to
purify your relationship with Allah azza wa jal.
		
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			This is a heart that greets you with a greeting. And when I say it,
		
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			it's going to attach our hearts together. Regardless whether we know each other or not.
		
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			This is a greeting that when I say it,
		
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			Allah azza wa jal, the Almighty Creator will shower his peace and security, especially on those who
say it. And those who respond. This is a greeting that in sha Allah, Allahu taala, you and I, we
will say it in Allah's paradise. And I say to you from my heart, as salaam alaikum, warahmatullahi
wabarakatuh.
		
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			So my topic for you Bismillahi Tarana, for this afternoon is titled, The heart of the family.
		
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			Now, when you hear a title like this,
		
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			I'm sure that every single one of us regardless of whether you're married or not, or regardless,
whether you have children, or not, every single person sitting near this in this auditorium can
relate to this topic. And so in the hearts of the family, what exactly is it? Number one, whatever
you want it to be? What's the most important thing that keeps your family together? For some people,
its power, its authority. And it's how much control and dominance they have within that family. So
if they can be in control of what the husband does, or what the wife does, or what the children
does, and how life just kind of functions within that home, that's what's considered their true
		
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			heart. That's what's considered the most important thing for their family.
		
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			For others,
		
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			the heart of the family is how much wealth, security and power you can accumulate within that family
to sustain that family. So a lot of people for them their true essence of having a successful
family, as as long as you're rich, you're secure. And you can purchase and acquire anything and
everything in this world, then this is really the heart of my family.
		
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			But what's the real heart of the family for me and all of you? It's just one thing. It's the one
thing that makes any human being happy, not any Muslim, any human being happy. It's just one thing
that we all have in common. And that is to just do good and righteous deeds, good things in our
lives. How do you feel when you do something good. You know, just last night, I was watching that TV
show. I'm sure a lot of you know the Undercover Boss. Yeah.
		
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			Yeah, so Undercover Boss, right. So this show Undercover Boss, when you look at it, you know, the
concept is really interesting. For me, that concept is you This is basically a leader or a boss or a
manager who just decided to wake up one day, and actually be involved in the things that he
initially has control over. Be involved in your community, be involved in your business, be involved
in the things that you've created, and you have control over. And you know, when I looked at that
show, I thought to myself,
		
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			Omar Abdullah, taba rhodiola, one every single day during his halifa walked in the middle of the
streets. And you know what he was doing? Just asking people? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Is
there anything that I can do for you? And so you have these managers and these corporates and these
bosses coming into their company and you know what they're doing? Do you need more paper towel? You
know, do you need this? Do you need that? Do you need any security? I mean, basically, they took an
Islamic concept, and just applied it to their companies. And what do you think happened at the end
of the show, I'm sure those of you who've seen it, you see what happens, right? He comes back, he
		
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			reveals his true identity. And he sits down with the people that he was working with. And he's like,
I'm the CEO, I own you. And here's this is what I want to do. I want to give you $10,000 for, you
know, smiling at me or something, right? So they start doing all of this. And then you know, the
viewers, they start crying, oh, my gosh, all they did was they were just doing hire, they were doing
a good deed, they were doing the one thing that brings joy and happiness to each and every single
one of us. They were just doing what makes them feel good, be righteous. That is the heart of the
family. Now let's break it down. Let's break it down and try to understand exactly how do you know
		
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			that you're preserving this heart in the family? Now, my discussion with you is to emphasize the
family itself, nothing beyond that. Because anything beyond the family deserves an entire discussion
by itself. So I want to focus just on the people who are closest to us.
		
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			One of the biggest challenges that I was facing, and I'm still facing with it till now as a
counselor, is that every time I meet a youth, and youth, I'm going to start with you. Every time you
come into my office, and you unload all of your tears and all of your complaints. The first thing
that I realized whenever I speak to the youth
		
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			is that the youth don't have anybody to look up to that they can feel proud of. And I'm sure this is
something that all of us here we see which you know, what a lot of adults have been doing now, you
ever hear that when you when you're within a community or a lecture, the speaker says, you know, we
need to help our youth because we're losing them. Right.
		
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			Okay, I probably feel really bad if that was his real voice, right. But anyhow, so anyhow, he's
saying this, and he's saying we're, you know, we're losing our youth. I totally disagree with this.
We are not losing our youth, our youth are the ones that are losing us. They are the ones that want
to hold on to us. They are looking for role models, they are looking for that someone that can
understand their language. And by that I don't mean that they speak Spanish or Arabic or something
else. I'm talking about the language of Facebook, I'm talking about the language of social media,
I'm talking about the language of present time, pressures and issues that they're dealing with now.
		
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			They're looking for somebody that they can relate to.
		
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			And the best person, the best person will law he that you can find in this world today is none other
than either one. Or both of those two individuals we call mother and father, you are the best role
models that any human being can have. You are the best person that somebody can reflect their life
after. Now I know. Some may say, Well, no, that's got to be the prophets. Allah la hora de he was
sending them. So before mothers and fathers, it's got to be the Prophet. Yes. When it comes to
religion, when it comes to having a good Islamic lifestyle, morals and ethics that will resolve that
allies. So Jen will reward us. Absolutely. I totally agree.
		
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			But don't you want that somebody when your child comes home after a rough day in school, and they
run upstairs to their room and they don't eat, they don't come and meet you. They don't want to come
and talk to you unless until three, four hours in the evening. Then they come down, they grab like a
muffin.
		
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			or something and that's their dinner for the rest of the evening. The only communication that that
parent may have with the child is when are you going to take out the trash? When are you going to go
on babysitters is when are you going to go do this? When are you going to go do that? It's almost as
if some children became like furniture in the house, you just kind of move them around here and
there. And this is where they belong. You don't have any say.
		
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			Brothers and sisters. voto seuls, sallAllahu, Alayhi, wasallam.
		
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			He would see children just running around on to, you know, within the village within the community,
and he'd walk up to some of those children. And he would take them in, he would pick them up and he
would play with them. They're not even his kids. But he picked them up and he played with them. And
then one time, he was caught or he somebody saw him. He did this many times in his life. But one
time a man saw him that he kissed the child, kiss the child one right on his head. And so the man
came very arrogantly very proud. And he said, I have this many children. According to one narration,
I've 10 children, and I've never ever kissed them that way. Now, though, the reason why this man is
		
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			saying this. He's saying this because he actually feels proud that he doesn't have that love and
affection with his children. So he's like, I'm the man I don't kiss my children. That's what he's
trying to portray. That's the image he's trying to portray. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wasallam looked at this man.
		
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			And he actually made a door that he did not that Allah azza wa jal would save him from ever having
that quality of that men. He actually prayed to Allah azza wa jal that he would never have that
quality for children that this man was boasting about. He was proud about it. And then you all know
the verse, Allah azza wa jal says in Surah till calf alamelu well by noon, what are they your money,
your wealth and your children? What are they for you? Xena tool hyah to dunya they are actually look
at the word that Allah azza wa jal uses, he says they are Xena to the higher to dunya they are
actually the decoration, the beauty of this world, your life here. It's the wealth that you have.
		
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			And when of course, we're talking about the wealth that used correctly. It's used to sustain
yourself and your family, you're doing all the right things with it. And what's the second thing?
Your children, children make us feel happy? Children are the ones that wipe away our tears. Children
are the ones that make us feel joy and comfort each and every single day. So my question now is,
		
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			why would this child walk in to Brother Muslim office and say to him,
		
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			I don't feel like I want to live anymore. I don't feel like I want to see my mother and my father
anymore. I can't stand being around them. Why would that child who's supposed to be the comfort to
my eyes? Why would he say that about me.
		
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			And the problem here is brothers and sisters goes back to that one heart of the family. Now I
mentioned to you it was good deeds. But we're going to come back to this concept in a moment. Keep
that in mind. So you have the children, and you have that children and you all know now their
position and who they are when it comes to you as the mother or the father or the Guardian that's in
charge. And then you have the mother and the father. Let's exclude the children for a moment. Here
is where all the problems begin. It's husband and wife time. This is where l the issues now start.
All the problems in the family may stem from this root cause right now.
		
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			Let me tell you brothers and sisters, as a counselor, and also as a marriage counselor. I can say to
you that a happy wife and a happy husband guarantees on the other side of the equal sign a happy
home. If a wife is happy in her home, how does that happen? In other words, she is given all the
right stuff Allah azza wa jal gives her she is given all the responsibilities that is there for her
and her husband does the exact same. All of his rights are fulfilled.
		
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			All of the responsibilities that he has to fulfill are done, everything synchronizes. If this
happens, you're going to have insha Allah who taravella a happy home. The question is, how do you do
it? That's the bird. That's the million dollar question for everybody. Yeah, okay. I love my wife,
but she hates me. Right? So what am I supposed to do? So what do you do in this case here, I'll give
you a couple of things in Sha Allahu taala. To better that relationship between husband and wife.
Number one, do righteous deeds together, find something that you can do with each other, find
something that you both can share something that you know what? Let's both go. And you know, let's
		
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			donate some money to an organization, for example. So what does your wife do? She takes out some of
her money, you take out some of your money and you put it together? Well, let me let me tell you, it
may sound trivial to you. But a couple once told me
		
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			that they do this. So often, they're always donating to different charities and things like that
together. And the wife she says to me, you know, I feel like the $10 bill is my half of the heart
and the other $10 bill is his half of the heart. And we joined it together.
		
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			And I thought to myself, wow, you know, 20 bucks did that for both of you, right? So that's what I'm
saying. But it has nothing to do with the money. Do you see? Do you see the beauty behind it had
nothing to do with the money for her? It was two hearts coming together. For him in shows. It's the
same thing and not just you know, there we go again, 10 bucks gone from me. So inshallah it's the
same thing. Why is this so important? You notice I didn't say to you, husband and wife should pray
together, or they should pray all their souls together. You notice I didn't mention that to you.
Your Salah is for yourself. Whether you have your wife or your husband, or your brothers or your
		
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			sisters, or you have Bob or Tom or you have anybody there beside you. It doesn't matter. Salah is
for you. Nobody's going to take that away from you and it doesn't benefit no one except you. But
then Allah azza wa jal says in the Quran, a verse. I'm sure all of us here we've heard this verse.
And it's the verse in Surah. To the apostles, that Eliza gel he says, In Nicola Terra de men, but oh
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you can't guide people that you love. You can't enforce it on
anyone. But then the verse continues while I came to La Jolla, de Masha, but Verily, Allah azza wa
jal, he is the one that guides every single person. Now, most of the time when a speaker uses this
		
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			verse, you know where he stops right there. There's still the end of the verse that a lot of times
is just kind of put to the side, what who are allowed to be limited in and Allah azza wa jal is RLM
has the most knowledge of those who look and seek for guidance. Now put this into perspective, you
may have somebody that can come to you.
		
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			And they may ask you about, you know, your beard or your hijab and ask, you know, why do you have
that? or Why do you wear that? And you just respond to that question in a generic way. You know,
will we do it because it's part of our religion, or this or that, and the case is done. for that
person? That could have been the check mark, that leads them to saying, uh, headwater La ilaha
illAllah, what should I do under Mohammedan? rasulillah?
		
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			What are you seeing now on TV today? Are you seeing more celebrities? Are you seeing more people
coming to Islam, people that you never, ever thought would actually accept the Shahada are walking
into the religion? Why? Because Allah is aerelon will be limited in Allah knows when somebody is
just trying to search for some answer. And that answer could be the one answer that you lead to
guidance. Why is this so important for those two individuals, the husband and wife, it's very
simple. If you both of you become a strong example for your family and the people around you, then
insha Allah hota Allah, you're going to be two individuals that are beaming lights of guidance for
		
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			the entire world and the people around you. That's why Allah zoa just says
		
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			Allow mobile monitoring. Brothers and sisters, don't forget, the end of this verse ensued, it'll
cost us.
		
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			Thank you. So don't forget this end at the end of this verse, because why you're always gonna or
most of the time you just gonna hear the beginning of it. So you have doing something together that
you both can find some level of fulfillment. And it shouldn't be something that is only restricted
for the benefit of the husband and the benefit of the wife. But try to think outside the box for a
moment, try to do something that others can benefit from you. Our religion advocates this more than
anyone else. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam one said
		
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			that no person, no Muslim, can be a complete believer.
		
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			If their stomach is full, and their neighbor's stomach is empty,
		
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			you notice that the Hadees doesn't say, and your Muslim neighbor stomach is empty, the prophesy
centum just says your neighbor. So it can definitely be Tom, that's your neighbor. It can be Sarah,
it can be someone it can be a non Muslim, but you have a moral responsibility not only to care for
yourself, but to care for the people around you to the best of your ability. Third thing that you
can build a successful heart between husband and wife.
		
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			The third thing is, and everybody say this after me. Have fun, say it.
		
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			Now that was one
		
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			half have fun.
		
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			Very good. Can you imagine that? The husband and wife can actually be best friends. They can
actually go out and just relax and chill and just do regular things. The best example of this was
none other than the example for all mankind. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, one
day, he's riding a horse, and they were in the middle of a desert. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam looks at his wife, I shall do LaWanda and he says to Ayesha, I want you to come off your
horse. So she gets off, and he gets off of his horse. The rest of the companions that were
accompanying them, they went ahead so they were alone. So what do you think the promises they sell
		
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			them says to her to his wife? He says On your marks, but okay, he doesn't say on your Marston said
go, right. But he actually says to his wife, you know, are you ready? What do you want to do? He
wants to have a race with her. So imagine you have the Prophet of Allah and his wife, and they're
running in the middle of the desert, like the Olympics, right? And they're trying they're going at a
really hard and as a matter of fact, the narration mentions is that Isha little do lohana his wife,
she won the race.
		
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			Poor profitable low, right? So he's like, okay, okay, hollows, some time went by two months, three
months, and I shadowed the loved one how, you know, she started to gain some weight, and she started
to slow down. So what do you think prophesize seldom does next. He's a genius. And he's a thinker,
right? So they're on a horse again on another journey. So he tells his wife, come off your horse,
Ayesha. So and he comes off his horse, too. So this time, he's like, taking advantage of the moment,
you see what he's doing, right? He says to the wife, okay, let's, let's have another shot at this.
And they start racing each other for the second time. This time, who wins the profits alojado. He
		
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			was sending them he wins the race. And then he looks at his wife ha Isha. And he says to her, I'm
sorry, but I had to get you back. He just had to at least have that that little bit of advantage. At
the end. The point is, you know, Subhanallah there they are. They actually just had a good social
time with each other. You know, how it feels. When I have some people walk into my office,
especially parents, and I say to them, when was the last time that you went out, you know, went for
a picnic with your children and you guys just went out to the park and you just walked by the lake.
You know, and then you have some parents are documenting shaytani r rajim. You know, like, you know,
		
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			they just like something totally How am I just said you know, and then you know, some kind of luck
when you bring up these simple little things. That's what on one hand, the chain
		
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			The children they're complaining about. And that's when you're going to start to see the gap. Mum
and Dad may still be stuck a few years behind their children that are cycling and moving forward
very fast. And the gap starts to happen.
		
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			Where your children now they're going to go into Facebook, they're going to go into friends, they're
going to go into all of these other issues. And let me tell you, brothers and sisters, I'm going to
say this with pride. Insha Allah, if you don't have a Facebook account,
		
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			go and get one.
		
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			advocating, you know, go and get a Facebook account. Why?
		
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			Because this here, a Facebook account or anything similar to it. That's the language of our youth.
Remember, brothers and sisters, Facebook is not hot on. But if you use it in a hot wrong way, then
what is it, it's hot on TV is not hot on internet is not hot on but if you use it the wrong way,
then what happens of course, it becomes hot on and this is why in also we have a principle that
everything in the dunya is permissible until it's proven to be hot. Um, so everything you do in this
world is permissible, until there's a reason to stop. And that's when we have Quran and Sunnah. See
how it makes sense. So if you don't have that communication with your children, go tonight
		
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			and open up a Facebook account and then poke your child. Alright? You know some of the parents like
supine Allah now he wants me to hurt my child. No, no, you know, the cheek, the kids, you guys know
what I'm talking about, right? So you have that communication, to try to close that gap. And I've
said this before, if your children are not talking to you about their problems and their issues that
they're dealing with in their lives, then there's probably a pretty good chance that they're talking
to someone else. And that someone else may tell them, who cares what your parents think? Who cares?
Don't listen to your mom. Yeah, okay, don't wear that thing on your head, you're gonna look like my
		
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			grandma. Or just leave that until you turn old. Don't go and make Hajj that's just for old people,
things like that. That's what children are going to start hearing. There's no one else for them to
turn to. Now, some of you might be thinking, how do you even begin that kind of process? How do you
actually begin to bridge that gap? It's very simple. It starts off with only one message. And this
is the only message that I will mention to you start to communicate with your family, start to talk
to your children and talking to your children. You don't have to formalize it. You don't have to say
to your child, look, I'd like to book an appointment with you at the dinner table at 5pm. inshallah,
		
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			okay, so and then we're gonna have a discussion for 10 minutes. You know, you don't have to do that
you might be sitting down, ask your child. So what did you do today? Ask your child. So how you
doing? Or what's wrong? Oh, you look pretty today. Oh, wow, your hair looks nice to do something
about them and just start that conversation. Children need someone to look up to. But if that
someone keeps moving farther, farther away from them, then who are they going to look up to someone
else? And if they do get a chance to speak to that someone and all the hear in return is go do this,
go do that? Why aren't you this wire to that? Why can't you be like that shift? Why can't you be
		
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			adopted that other than they're always going to feel like they can never accomplish anything. And
then they come to my office. So brothers and sisters, you have the husband and the wife. The next
point that I want to mention to you, and now this is going to include the children, children,
mothers and fathers. Do yourself a favor, and encourage your children to see the beauty in marrying
early. When I say marrying early, I'm not saying like 15 or 16 or 17 No, what I'm saying to you is
don't even put an age limit on it. But look at your child, study and understand your child. And if
you feel that your child is mature enough to handle responsibilities, then don't just give them the
		
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			keys to your car and say, Well, you know you're a big man now so you can watch my car, you know, you
know or you know your I see that you're responsible. So now I'm going to leave you home alone for a
while, you know, don't do those things start to give them responsibilities. The Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam gave Ebner abass adeola Juan Houma. The responsible
		
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			ability to issue fatwah and verdicts at a very, very young age emammal Chef rahima Hola. His mother
told him, I want you to be a scholar, I want you to go to Medina and I want you to learn from the
manners of all the scholars, all of their etiquettes I want you to observe I want you to accumulate,
I want you to absorb as much as you can. And then Amanda chef, Rahim Allah in Ramadan,
		
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			people used to come to him and get fatwah and answers to their questions all about total Melbourne,
and Amanda sheffy is there drinking water? Why? Because he was too young, too fast.
		
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			Imagine that he was too young, too fast. As a matter of fact, even a man came up to him and asked
him, you know, how old are you? So if I'm a chef, he responds and says none of your business.
		
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			So, the man says, What do you mean? Why are you telling me that? So he mama chef, he says, The only
reason I'm telling you that is I saw another chef and his teacher were the student asked his shape
the same question the student asked their shift. How old are you? And the shift told the student
none of your business? So I just copied his answer, and I told it to you.
		
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			So you see brothers and sisters, that's what parents are. Parents, you are our reflection. We want
to be like you, whether you hear it or not. That's the reality. That's the Torah that Allah azza wa
jal created all human beings, that we look up to our mothers and fathers. That's why in the Quran,
Allah azza wa jal talks about a woman and all of her pains and all of her struggles. And if we think
that she goes through, it's as if Allah azza wa jal also sympathizes with her. And then for the men,
Allah gave him his strength and gave him his responsibility. You take care of the family, you do
this, you do that you oversee all of these affairs. Now imagine you have the strength of the men,
		
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			and you have the tenderness of a woman.
		
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			And this man becomes absolutely useless, without love and tender in his personality. And this love
and tenderness in this woman cannot be fuelled without the strength of and support of the man beside
her. We need each other to complete each other. And so brothers and sisters,
		
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			think about marrying your children as early as possible. Think about giving them that opportunity to
have responsibility in their life. Look back into your car, I look back at so many companions and
seller. I mean, we have 13 year old men, I call them men who are in charge of leading an entire army
during their time. 13 years old. We have individuals in our Sierra, in our lifestyle, young, strong
individuals. One of them you all know her, shut up the Aloha on her so young. But every companion
during her time would come to her to get answers. She was the true scholar, you were for her time.
She was the one she was the island. She was the pert the person that companions would come to for
		
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			guidance. And as a matter of fact, I wish I had two types of knowledge that she excelled in. she
excelled in fifth and Arpita and all the Islamic sciences. But then there was also another science
and that she excelled in the sciences of the human body. She was like a doctor. And one companion
came up to her and asked her how can you know so much about the human body? She says
		
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			I only listen what others talk about, and I memorize. That's it. And she became a scholar in that
field itself. And so brothers and sisters, parents, children, what kind of legacy Do you want to
leave behind? What kind of background Do you want to have for all of those individuals around you?
What kind of example Do you want to be for your children? Do you want your children to remember you
that my father was the person that only watch TV or only did this or only did that or do you want
your children to get one day an opportunity to stand proudly and say my father was a hard working
individual. My father was a person that I looked up to he taught me how to dry he taught me how to
		
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			do this. He taught me how to do that. And my mother she
		
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			taught me, the daughter, she can stand proud and said, my mother taught me how to be a woman, how to
be proud of my identity, how to be proud of who I am. That's the legacy that my mother left behind.
For me. That is what you want to think about to create the heart of the home. And you know, the true
heart of the home. I said to you good deeds. That's the practical side of it. But if you were to
summarize it all together, the true heart of the home is having Islam, morals and ethics within that
home, practice your religion, and be proud of who you are. Because the world is watching who you are
so shows the world that you are proud to be a peaceful asset, a peaceful, individual human being in
		
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			this world, that you are here to be a person, not only just to serve humanity, not only just to get
a job and live a normal lifestyle, but you are here as an individual,
		
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			that when you see a man or a child, struggling, you're gonna be that person to lend your hand out
and help that individual Get up. Why? Because you are proud to be a Muslim. Brothers and sisters.
One final note in Sha Allahu taala that I wish to leave you with.
		
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			A final note that I want to mention to you many of you know that I have recently joined up with the
holiday new Waleed Masjid. And I've become their Director of Education for that Masjid. But one of
the aspects of the message that I'm very proud of is the counseling aspect, it's my opportunity to
meet you, it's my opportunity to sit down and talk with you, it's my opportunity to see those
parents that may only see problems in their childhood, it's my opportunity to try to change that and
help them to see good, it's my opportunity to sit with those youth that only have maybe the most
horrible things to say about their families and about their parents to change their mindset and to
		
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			change their mind frame. And to think about these two individuals as the most important role models
in their life. And let me tell you, brothers and sisters,
		
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			it has been the most rewarding aspect of my entire life, to be able to sit there and talk to you.
And so brothers and sisters, I hope that insha Allah who Tarana what you have been hearing
throughout this conference, is something that you can take within your heart is something that will
better your relationship with the most important Allah azza wa jal, but in addition to that, it
starts to improve your way of life, your lifestyle, how you do things, how you smile, how you talk,
how you perceive things, and parents, you have this responsibility more than anyone else. I can't
emphasize this enough. I remember brothers and sisters that,
		
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			you know, a couple came into me came came into my office, and they said to me that, you know, we
want our child to get married, and this child thing was like, 20, or 21. So I said, Okay, what's the
problem? And the mother says, Well, you know, he's not really listening too much. And he comes home
a little bit late, and so on. And the father said, Yeah, he's a good kid, and whatever. But you
know, he's just, he needs some advice. So I said to him, okay, let me speak to your child.
		
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			So the child comes into my office the next day, and I sit down with him, and I said, you know, is
this something that you desire? You want to get married? He said, No.
		
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			So I said to him, Well, tell me about your life. What do you do? Like nothing? Do you go to school?
My parents think I do.
		
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			So I said, What do you do? When? How do you how do you do that? Like you leave home and your parents
think you're at school? So where do you go? I go out with my friends. So I said, your parents also
mentioned that you come home really late at night? And he says, Yeah, but they think I pray tahajjud
		
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			This is the problem with mothers and fathers. I speak to you directly as a father myself, don't try
to paint the wrong image for your children. If you see your child is smoking or drinking or coming
home late at night, and you say, Oh my god, I think he went for Tafseer sessions, Mashallah, you
know, or he you know, he held a small piece of paper and he gave a hookah for five minutes. Oh my
God, my child is going to be scholar, you know, like, Don't try to paint the wrong image for your
children and then you know what that leads you to, it leads you to start to lose sight
		
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			Who your children really are. So what you'll end up doing is you'll end up trying to get somebody to
match with your child. So let's say your child has all these problems of, you know, getting involved
with a law drinking, you know, no solid, nothing like that. But then you bring a religious brother
or a sister who's fully hijab, devoted practicing all of these different things. And they come
together and you marry those two individuals together. And you say, insha Allah, they will live
happily ever after. And after one month, it becomes black and white. They can't seem to get along.
They don't have nothing in common and the true colors start to unfold within the home when mom and
		
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			dad are not there to see it. Be realistic with your children and children. Don't trivialize your
relationship with your parents look up to them and respect them and honor them. Allah azza wa jal
after he talks about being righteous to parents, you guys all know the verse fella taco lahoma often
don't say to your parents off, and we talked about this, the reality is nobody walks around be like,
Oh, you know, nobody does that. Off is unfair, like it's a name of an action. What that means is
it's like it's like what children do today they do.
		
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			That's what that's called, oh, it's a sign of distress and you know, anxiety to go I hate this. I
can't I don't want to be around your company. That's called off.
		
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			But then after this verse is where things are very interesting. Children this part of the verses for
you. Allah azza wa jal says Wah field lahoma Jenna Dooley, Minh of rashanna Burnham, Houma, Kamara,
biani saphira, Allah azza wa jal tells us to lower your wings of humiliation, your lower your wings
of humility to your parents, lower your wings of mercy to them. What does that mean? It's very
simple. Put this in a practical sense for you, you might have had the opportunity to grow up in
Canada. And you grow up in a good society where there's a nice system, things are done, you get a
good job, you get a good education. But your parents can't read your dad, he grew up pushing a
		
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			donkey car to make a living. Your mom used to wake up every morning at 4am and milk the cows to make
a living. So they don't know anything about what it means to be in a high school to be in a college
or be in a university. So what do you do some children, you'll look down on your parents, all I can
say to you is Shame on you for looking down at mom and dad just simply because they don't have an
academic skill. So what if you have a degree, all that tells you is that you can perform a
particular job? How many of you know doctors or lawyers that are horrible husbands and horrible
wives. It's just a skill that you've acquired. The best human being is a human being that they can
		
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			have that PhD, they can have that engineering degree, that can be everything. But when they stand in
front of their mom and dad,
		
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			he'll take his mom's head and he will kiss her on the forehead. Every time he sees his father, he
will embrace his father. And he would be 50 years old. His father may be eight years old, his mom
maybe they're all so age, they can't walk, they can't move. But he makes himself like a five year
old kid in front of his parents. So you know, the mother might be sitting there and she can barely
talk and she'd be like, Oh my god, what's wrong with you? You know, and, and he doesn't respond. He
says, Mom, I'm okay. Mom, do you need something father? Do you need something he becomes like a
servant to them. That is the best human being. Because a human being like that all the doors are
		
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			open up for them. Because when you're a good person to the people who deserve that, then Allah azza
wa jal promises that he opens doors for you. You start to want to learn more, you start to want to
educate yourself more you start to advocate more you start to do the right things. It just becomes a
ripple effect for your entire life. And so brothers and sisters, I wish to conclude
		
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			and to say to all of you, from my heart, to all of the hearts in front of me today, may Allah
subhanho wa Taala preserve the true hearts of the family, which is the heart of Islam. May Allah
subhanho wa Taala preserve that heart in our families say amin
		
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			May Allah subhanahu wa Tarana protect our mothers and fathers. Yeah You mean whom I am What? Those
who are alive with us and those who have made their return to Allah azza wa jal May Allah subhanho
wa Taala give paradise to our mothers and fathers say amin and children I haven't forgotten about
you. May Allah azza wa jal protect you. May Allah azza wa jal protect you from all the fitna in this
world that you go through each and every single day of your life. May Allah subhanho wa Taala create
good, pure role models that you can be proud to look up to that can encourage you and help you be a
positive human being and a positive Muslim and a righteous servant to Allah as Silla Jen and May
		
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			Allah subhanho wa Taala Bless you all for listening. I think he will set out more on a Kumara matola
he will barakato