Musleh Khan – Spiritual Growth #14 Why Can’t I Change

			Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam, ala MV
mursaleen and he of the Lusaka will attempt to sleep in my bed. So today it's one very simple but
difficult question, why can't I change? This is a question that all of us at some point will be
forced to ask ourselves. And the place that where we want to concentrate on is why we can't change
and why change is so difficult, so challenging for the better. And when we're talking about change,
we're talking about change towards following the instructions of the Quran and the Sunnah of our
Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam. This is something that happens to all of us and our Prophet alayhi
		

			salaatu wa Salaam did mention in an authentic hadith that our amen our faith, it increases and
decreases so it fluctuates. So those moments in your life where you feel like you have weak Amen,
and you're always pushing yourself to stay consistent, or you're falling into the same mistakes and
to the in the same sense, all the time, no matter how much do you make, no matter how much you pray,
no matter how much Umrah and Hajj you've done, it just seems like that one problem and mistake never
goes away. So how so how do you resolve this? This is what we're going to answer in sha Allah
huhtala Today, the first principle to understand when you talk about change, for the better and of
		

			course, we're restricting this conversation only change religiously islamically the for the sake of
Allah subhanho wa Taala. So the change that we're focusing on is the change in obedience to Allah,
in following the instructions of Allah. So the first principle to reflect on and think about is why
you need to change. Why is there a need for me to be different? If I want to act a certain way, if I
want to talk a certain way, if I don't want to pray five times a day, or I don't want to wear the
hijab, or I don't want to go to the masjid or I don't want to be engrossed in a classroom every day
all the time, or I don't read the Quran regularly. Why can I not still consider myself a good Muslim
		

			like everyone else? You see, the problem with that is you're designing and you're developing a
perimeter of rules and ethics, that are not reflective of the one that you're submitting yourself
to. This is one of the reasons why Allah calls his servants he calls them slaves I've done I've done
the slave. The relationship that they have with their master is that they obey their master, our
Rob, and this is one of the names of Allah azza wa jal that he is a robber, Rob, not just Guardian,
but he or Rob is also used to describe the master, the one that's in charge of his slaves. And we as
the slaves of Allah, we mentioned this in previous videos, when Allah calls us His slaves, that's a
		

			great honor for us to be recognized. And for us to be called out that this is our purpose that we
worship our Creator, we follow his instructions. You know, if we do that to each other than it's an
insult, if I call you my slave, or you call me your slave, that's an insult to one another. Amongst
human beings, it's the worst thing that you can title or label somebody that they're your slave. But
in within the sight of Allah, it's the greatest honor and something that we're proud of something
that we're proud of. So with that being said, the first point to look at and to reflect on is if you
are going to be Muslim, and you're going to concentrate on following the laws and the morals and
		

			ethics of what it takes to be a Muslim. All of that revolves around one concept, and that is
submission to your Creator. So in other words, a Muslim is someone that follows the laws, the
instructions that are given to him and her in bulk or n, as well as the Sunnah of our Prophet alayhi
salatu was Salam. Now, with that being said, this is the first step. So when we asked the question,
why do I need to change to begin with? It's because if you call yourself a Muslim, a Muslim, by
default, is somebody that submits themselves to the rules and the instructions and the worship of
their Creator. It's really that simple. And no matter how we twist and turn this subject, at the end
		

			of the day, you're going to have to make a decision what it is that you really want, what it is that
you're hoping for, what are you striving for when you call yourself a believer and a Muslim? And it
boils down to one thing Samaritan will Alterna we hear and we obey. So that's the first point. So we
asked the question
		

			Why any change to begin with? Well, it really depends on what do you deem or see yourself as. So
again, if you see yourself as a Muslim, then this is what it requires. These are the instructions
given to us. And it's just like if you call yourself an employee at a company, you can't just walk
into a company and make up your own rules and say, Well, I'm an employee here, but this is what I
choose to do, you end up following the rules, the laws of that company, here are your duties here,
your responsibilities, and you're under the supervision of a manager or a president or supervisor.
And if you don't follow those duties, if you don't follow protocol, then guess what happens to you,
		

			you could potentially lose your job, you get punished in some way, you know, your pay gets cut,
something happens to you, there's a consequence there. So that same logic is applied, even in a
spiritual sense, when if we call ourselves a Muslim, and we're part of this nation, we're part of
this oma, this is our boss, Allah subhanho wa Taala. And the wonderful thing about that is he sent
us an example. So that you and I, we don't design our own method of how to interpret yet and
Hadeeth. He sends us an example. And so it's another words it's as if the boss or the president or
the Creator Himself says, oh, in so that you don't interpret or misinterpret what I'm expecting from
		

			you. Here is an example follow how this men practice the quarter end. So that's the first point. The
second point is perhaps the most important and this is where we're going to concentrate most of our
attention on and that is, change has to come from within. And this is why in two places in the
entire Quran, Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us in Allah Hola, yo, yo, maybe a comb had tell you her
euro may be unforeseen. So in Surah Toad, right, Allah subhana wa Taala tells us that he will never
allow change in a nation or people unless and here's the point of the A, unless they are willing to
instill change from within themselves. So the point here is, and the second principle is that you
		

			have to decide if you really want this or not, that change has to come from you. And I've said this
several times, I don't know for years, I you know, I do my best to repeat this and talk about this,
this concept. And that is, it doesn't matter how many a yet ahaadeeth you hear you ever find
yourself that when you're giving advice to somebody, and you're quoting to them actual verses of the
poor end, and you're trying to tell them that this is what the Quran teaches us. This is the yet of
Allah, this is his words, and you're trying your best to, you know, instill this knowledge in
whoever it is that you're talking to, whether it be colleagues, friends, families, it doesn't
		

			matter. And you're doing your best to advise them to give them some direction to give them and let
them taste a bit of the day and guidance in the Quran and Sunnah. And they look at you as though
something is wrong with you. Like you're the one that's messed up. Why you being so strict, why you
why you why you have to micromanage everything in your life, come on, loosen up a little bit, Islam
is not that strict, etc, etc. Change has to come from within. And that's why as a hadith and this is
what I tell a lot of people that I hope that all of you listening can understand. My point here is
that a yet and Hadeeth do not transform you. Like if you hear a verse, you're not just going to be
		

			like, Oh, man, that verse just hit me in such a way, I'm going to change my whole life right now.
That's not how poor end works. That's not how Hadeeth works. You have to develop an interaction and
desire to want to hear that stuff. You have to be the one that turns on the phone, or you you you
know, press play, the play button isn't going to play by itself. And then you're going to start
hearing the lectures and then you're going to start hearing the poor and you have to press that
button, you have to put the CD in the car, you have to get out of your home and walk into a
classroom, you have to be the one that wants this religion. And so when we're asking the question,
		

			and we want to answer why is changed so difficult, and why is it that I can change? Well, you have
to ask yourself, How bad do you want it? Because human beings were a unique creation in the sense
that we can adapt to almost anything and everything. And if we desire something, and these are what
experts they tell us that when you learn when you have a goal in your life, you want to be a
successful business person. You want to complete school, you want to be something you want to be a
great athlete or something like you have your eyes set on a particular goal. And they are the we pay
people like this 100
		

			And 1000s of dollars to tell us, okay, you've got to desire it, you've got to have the will, it's
got to come from you, you've got to come from your heart, you've got to not just see that goal, but
you have to really taste the journey as well, you need to be able to, and then you just continue
with that same line, you need to be able to have that thirst and that hunger, and that's what's
gonna, that's what's going to feed your drive to move forward. And so it's no different when it
comes to religion.
		

			You have to decide which side of the coin are you on? Are you on the side that's going to frame and
reinterpret what you think Islam expects out of you? Or are you going to count yourself amongst the
slaves of Allah, and submit yourself to the to his instructions, so which side of the coin that you
want do you want to be on. And one of the things that makes the human creation different from all
other creation is the ability to choose, you know, Allah subhanaw. taala is a jumbo jet belt comes
from the word jibber jabber and means you can force something to change, you can mold something the
way that you want. So if Allah wanted, he could force us on the path that he wants us to be. But he
		

			leaves that choice to you and I, you decide what is headed and how long, this is what a lot tells
you to do. Now you decide if you want to follow that or not. If you follow it, you're rewarded,
you're blessed, etc. But if you don't, just like we said, if you don't follow the rules at work, or
at school, there are consequences. And so it's no different than any religion out there. And Islam
is no exception to that. Now, the third point, there are a number of factors that contribute to why
change becomes so difficult. The first is the companionship. So your friends, people that you
surround yourselves with. So this could be even your own family. Now you have to look around and see
		

			what kind of energy you have, what kind of influence that you surround yourself with. I know that it
could be particularly challenging that if you live in a house where there are people there that
don't care about practicing any religion, let alone Islam. And so that could be challenging for
some. And that's a very difficult situation. And this situations like that, it requires special
attention. Because basically now you're going to be told, okay, well, even if your parents say no,
this is how you can still make it. Yes. And I don't want to put out something generic. Those things
are, you know, specific situations that require concentration, and specific instructions and
		

			guidance. But the point is, at the end of the day, where do you get your influence from? Who do you
admire? Who do you look up to? Who are the people that you listen to? Who did people that you
surround yourself with? So friendship or companionship is a strong influence that could determine
whether or not change is easy or difficult for you. So if you surround yourself around good people,
righteous people, honest people that guess what you become, you become the exact same way. And
that's how that thirst starts to build. You know, people always ask me Muslims all over the world,
even in my travels, they would ask me, how do you get on this path of giving Dawa, and traveling and
		

			speaking and teaching like how to get on this path, and you live in the West, there's so much
pressure to be everything but to religious in the West, in the culture, the society that we live in,
all the things that we're being encouraged to do? The culture that surrounds us, is nothing to do
with Okay, alcohol is hot, um, don't fall into Xena don't steal like, this is something these are
things that are rampant. So how did you end up steering away from all of them. And I usually tell
people, it's really as simple as I grew up in a good family. But I was also surrounded by good
people, I made that choice. So I would go to the masjid, I'd meet somebody, and then we'd start
		

			talking, we become friends. And then I look forward to meeting them again. And then that that
surrounding that group, they constantly encouraged me, I had good friends around me good people that
would advise me if they saw me dress a certain way, act a certain way. They would tell me, you know,
in Islam, try not to do that. And what what happened is that that thirst that hunger started to
develop inside of me like I wanted more. And then the second thing is the poor and
		

			reciting the Quran helps us towards the change that is needed. That's pleasing to Allah. And so the
second thing that can contribute to healthy change is what kind of relationship do you have with a
laws book? Do you ever read it? Do you ever pick it up and try to recite it? You know, most people,
most people, Muslims that have difficult
		

			In changing their lives don't actually have a consistent relationship with the laws book. They don't
even know how to read it. And this is a trend that you can see this that we can talk to people that
you're trying to encourage and advice. You'll notice that nine out of 10 times these are people that
don't even know how to read Arabic properly. They don't, they've never actually sat in a classroom.
And even if they have, they're just there because they don't want to be embarrassed, or they want
to, they don't want to upset you. So they just come in, you know, they're getting the best sleep of
their life in the classroom, or they're just kind of half paying attention to what's going on. And
		

			that's it. And this is unfortunate, a lot of students do this, right, their only interaction with
learning and seeking knowledge is when they're in that classroom for an hour or two for the entire
week. So you have one or two hours of the entire week where you devote to studying, studying and
reading the rest of the time. It's everything else. And so brothers and sisters, it's about
companionship, and people that you surround yourselves with. The second thing that contributes to
hardship in change is that how often do you ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to preserve and protect your
Amen. And this is something our Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam told us in many ahaadeeth asked a
		

			lot to protect you from ask Allah to protect your faith or protect your emang because he mentions in
one Hadith that our faith in Amen, can get worn out, it could lose its light, it could lose its
brilliance. You could eventually so when we're talking about Amen, young pulse, it descends or
decreases. One of the signs of that is that you lose the taste and the sweetness of Amen. So in
other words, salad just feels like a burden. It doesn't feel sweet, it doesn't feel good. You don't
enjoy it, you don't enjoy the record, you don't enjoy the sujood the poor and just sounds annoying,
like you don't look forward to hearing a soda. Or you're very specific, like you can only listen to
		

			one reciter and every other reciter on the planet is annoying to you. That's when so that could
happen. And the Prophet Elisa Tucson continues in the same Hadeeth. And it gives us a parable to
compare that to. So just like how our he man gets worn out it loses its brilliance is similar to
when we wear clothing. And after you wear clothing for a long period. If you don't take care of it,
guess what ends up happening to the clothing, it starts to get worn out as well starts to lose its
color it starts to break apart. Now eventually clothing it will ultimately get to that point. But
the point here of this Hadeeth is the Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam is teaching us to nurture our
		

			faith to care for it, take care of it, focus on it, EME core and feeds our E men. The Masjid is like
the charging station for our E men. That's where we go to recharge ourselves. That's where you go to
really feel the presence of your Creator. You feel like Allah is really watching you. That might be
almost impossible to feel that experience when you're walking in the streets when you're at the park
when you're going to work in school. But when you're in the masjid, at least you feel that
connection, because why you're in Allah's house. And then when you hear the then and it says hey
Carlos Salah, hey Allah, Allah, come to success come to prayer, then you know right away that you're
		

			in domestic Allah allows you to answer that call. How many people do we know how many Muslims? Do we
know that hear the call, they know it's time for the 100 they know it's time for this or that. And
they know that the event is being made, but they don't answer that call. Allah does not bless
everybody who are Muslim to answer the call of prayer. So the fact that you could just stand up and
that you could respond to that call, in and of itself is Allah nurturing and taking care of and
protecting your Amen. And finally, brothers and sisters,
		

			one of the last points that I wrote down here is action, action, action, can't just talk the talk,
you have to walk the walk. So everything that you learn everything that you hear every piece of
advice that people share with you, guess what you have to do with that advice. You don't we're not
like software where you just download a whole bunch of info and store it somewhere and then walk
away. That info now has to manifest in action. Now you have to see that if you read Okay, the
prophet alayhi salatu was Salam love to use a seawork then guess what you should think about doing?
Go get a sea whack and try it and see what it does to you. And that connection like that will that
		

			desire to want to practice something that you just learned about your religion is one massive step
forward towards good change. And then in addition to that,
		

			shows that there is something real it shows that you have true emotion in you. And the Prophet
Alayhi salat wa sallam told us may you delay will be higher or you felt to fit in who ever Allah
subhanho wa Taala wants good for. So in this case here if you want good change in your life, if
Allah wants that for you, what does Allah Do you felt to fit Deen, Allah gives you the ability to
understand his Deen part of understanding this religion is that when you here you practice to the
best of your ability. And so the third and last point is, it's about practicing what we know, you
know, if we can keep all of these principles in mind. So the need and the will to change. And the
		

			change has to come from within companionship that you surround yourselves with, nurture, ie men, and
then practice what you preach, practice what you've learned, and what you know, there are five
points that we mentioned in this short to reminder and shut Allahu taala it will help you change for
the better inshallah. And we're not just talking about change that has an expiry date, we're talking
about sustainable change, change that can carry on for years to come. And perhaps for the rest of
your life. This is how you put yourself on a path, where, okay, I'm on this path of Monkey de
amando, this path of guidance, and I want to stay here. And this is these are some of the things
		

			that can help do that. Last thing that I want to say is, all the scholars teach us that to stay on a
path of the day. And guidance is a constant exercise and discipline discipline that you have to do
for the rest of your life. Like don't take it for granted, you could lose your Amen, just like that,
you know, you could fall into a set a luck, test your luck and put, you know, beautiful men or women
in front of you and test you. You know, they're extra friendly. They're kinda touchy touchy, feely
feely, and you're just like, Man, this person actually finds me attractive, this person actually
wants to be my friend. And Allah will test you. I mean, you're somebody that prays to head should
		

			you read the book, and you pray five times a day, you're somebody that does it all. And all of a
sudden, a love puts the beautiful human being in front of you. And they're so extra friendly, you
get this impression that they have feelings for you, or they like you or they're trying to hit on
you the flirting with you. Those are the moments where you have to be careful with because it's
going to happen. It happens to everyone, all of us, you'll find yourself in those odd moments where
where did that come from? Why did that person say that? How did I say that? How did I act that way?
You'll get an invitation to go someplace. And when you go there, then you realize, man, it's kind of
		

			a free for all here I can say and do whatever I want. A low will test you why cuz that's how you can
test yourself. If you're really in this religion sincerely to stay, or you have sort of that wishy
washy type, amen. You know, one day you're in one day or out one day, you're in one day or out. So
we want to be of the category when you're in this deed, you're in it to stay. And that takes time.
That takes a lot of spiritual training. And hence, that's the reason why one of the wisdoms why we
pray five times a day. We just mentioned this a couple of days ago, as one of the wisdoms why we
pray five times a day. We do that, so that we can reinforce our faith and our commitment in our
		

			religion. You know how we say practice makes perfect. And so this is our practice, we're practicing
our Amen. by praying, we're doing that exercise, we're going through that discipline, at least five
times a day. And we got to do that for the rest of your life. Even if you're on you know, even if
you're bedridden, you still got to somehow figure out a way and pray even if you have to pray mental
even if you just have to think about Salah, even if you have to move your eyelids, you still have to
pray. Why? Because Allah knows us better than we know ourselves. Allah knows that it only takes one
day where you miss a solid and your E man starts to go downhill from one solid that's late or you
		

			miss it to the next one in the following day, you start missing a next prayer. And if you're not
missing any prayers, you're praying all of them, guess what the next problem is still there. you're
praying like super fast. You know, you finish a shot and you finish it in like literally two
minutes, you're done. You're walking away. In 30 seconds, you finished two rakaats so you're just
rushing through to get it over with so they can pat yourself on the back and say I did it. And then
then before you know it, you still lose your Amen.
		

			So these are some of the things to keep in mind. Brothers and sisters, what you surround yourselves
with what inspires you. You have to really dig deep, and figure out those things and that's what I
leave you with in sha Allah change has to come from within, you know your circumstance, you know
your lifestyle, you know what's around you and you know the things that are influencing you the
wrong way. So change those things.
		

			Insha Allah you will see that your email not only will sustain, but you will able you will be able
to change yourself for the better for the sake of Allah and that journey will become. It may not
always be easy but you will always have the strength to continue on that journey in short, lo Tara,
male ISO which will protect our faith and our men, may Allah azza wa jal continue to give us the
strength that we journey through life protecting our faith in amen and we practice what we know
everything that we earn everything that we learn about how religion may lie so which will give us
the strength that we continue to practice that and so that we can be examples for the people around
		

			us the people closest to us alone I mean with that being said
		

			you guys know what you guys know what we do at the end of these videos. So let's go into my little
treasure box here
		

			and let's see what we have next.
		

			No we've done these topics here before and these do
		

			oh
		

			well this is nice. So here's going to be our topic and shot love for tomorrow's see factory bed. All
right, man. So these are going to be the descriptions of the ultimate believer of alarm. So again,
again, you know, here we are, we're talking about Lima limitada Why is it that I can change? Then
our next topic for tomorrow? subpanel law is going to be the characteristics and qualities of a
believer in the sight of Allah subhanho wa Taala I've said it once and I'll say it again. This kind
of planning and these kinds of coincidences is purely and solely from Allah subhanho wa Taala
perhaps maybe we are doing something right. Perhaps this is a sign that we are on the right
		

			direction or on the right path in sha Allah hotel. So I pray that Allah subhanaw taala always keeps
us there. forever be if Neela Allahumma me so stay tuned for that tomorrow guys in sha Allah, Allah
May Allah bless you keep you safe and keep you healthy. Aloma me. What's up Mr. alikum warahmatu
Allahi wa barakato