Musleh Khan – Life with Children #10 Mothers

			So don't want to equal Marilla to Lahore barakatu Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim, Al hamdu Lillah wa
Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. Why the early he was having a woman with a barbarian. First and
foremost, thank you all for your kind prayers. And Dora's yesterday, I just took a break. I'm one of
those, I guess you could say one of those kind of people that when I get a headache, my entire day
shuts down. And I literally have to lay down rest, do everything that I can do, just to just to feel
normal again. So that's what yesterday was all about. And I'm not sure why that happened. But Allah
knows best left hamdulillah feeling much, much better. So let's get right into this. So this is part
		

			10 of our installment on life with children. And today, it's all about mom.
		

			And in our religion, moms have their place as one of the most honorable people in the history of
mankind. Our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also told us that,
		

			that mothers, they get three times more attention, love, protection, care, all of the rights that
fathers have, they have it more. And it's something that Allah subhanaw taala raised their honor and
their status, human beings, we are attached to mothers in a different way than we are to fathers.
And it doesn't mean that you know, fathers are not important, it just means that there's a deeper
feeling of connection and a relationship with mothers, that no human being on the planet could ever
have with anybody else. You know, and and that's just really all from Allah subhanho wa Taala. I
mean, we could have had those same feelings for other people and other individuals. And then the
		

			reality is that even people that are adopted, there's always that connection to who the biological
mom is, and had they ever met them. And even if they didn't meet them, like their heart is always
somehow connected and intertwined by that biological birth mother. And it's again, it's just
something that the way Allah subhanaw taala, created all of us. And what's interesting is that, when
we're looking for unique parenting styles and techniques from parents and from from mothers versus
fathers, you'll notice that with mothers in particular, it's very different, even in the poor end,
different in the sense that No, they don't just have different duties, or they do things
		

			differently. It's the connection that they have with their kids. So I'll give you an example. In so
little of Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us about when the woman is pregnant, and she notices that
her stomach is starting to grow and the baby is growing and it's becoming heavier, she's becoming
heavier as well. And the Koran mentions philomath planet whenever it becomes heavier referring to
the stomach the womb. So Fela mathcad darle la hora Bahama let in 10 or solidly Helena coonan Amina,
shake it in. So what ends up happening is that as she notices that this baby, it's as real as it
gets. It's growing, she's getting heavier, it's going to happen herself and her husband. Start
		

			praying to Allah, that I will law Rob Bethel man so it's referring to referring back to jewel, which
means it's the parents now of this kid, they start making dua to Allah. So here's the first, I guess
you could say point that we want to extract when we're talking about moms, moms, all the moms that
are listening to this. Your Dora for your children is special.
		

			Do is from parents in general is special. But with mothers in particular, it's different. And it
goes back to the same verse in sorbitan out off fella math, call it Allah singles out her struggle
and her pain. Allah singles out her struggle to you know, eventually carrying this child and
birthing this child. So all the intention was shifted and focused on her and from the signs that
this womb is starting to develop and grow. That's when the father now steps in with the A Darrell
will learn how to bevel man. So in other words, I mean she's the leader when it comes to just the
overall dynamics of the family and the relationship and that connection. Because of her. It's
		

			stimulated now that the Father is going to join in and they both ask Allah let in a 10 Asante,
Helena coonan Amina shakin in if you give us a righteous child, we're going to be people that are
grateful gratitude, and we've talked a lot about that in our previous episodes. But then
		

			As things continue to unfold, you notice that there's a shift in terms of that connection. Because
in this day and age now, fathers are also becoming more connected with their kids. And it's
something that they have to learn. This is the second point when it comes to that love and that
connection of mercy. For the child, it's very natural for mothers. And again, perhaps maybe one
wisdom behind that is the fact that they carry and they birth this child. And Allah subhanaw taala,
just instills that natural love and connection, she starts to fall in love with the child before the
child's even born. And the father is happy and joyous and joyful as well. And he falls in love with
		

			the child too. But it's different. And you know this because all you have to do is just talk to
parents just talk to like a first time parent, and they'll tell you, like, even after the child is
born, the father is still like men, I'm a father now, wow, okay, I gotta go do this, I got to do
that. I got to develop this connection, I got to be able to, you know, show this child that I'm here
for this child, hey, I'm gonna love this child, protect him and protect mom as well. And now we're a
family, with the mother already graduated all of that the day she heard that she was pregnant. She
already everything's on autopilot. Timing, okay, I got to make sure that we adjust the rooms, I got
		

			to figure out how to sleep, I got to figure out what I'm going to eat. Everything is automatic. So
for men in general, and there are articles written about this, it's not just coming out of left
field, like they study the whole psychology.
		

			makeup of first time parents. And for fathers, it's, uh, you know, we have to train ourselves to
learn that connection, is why a lot of young parents as well, especially like the fathers, to three
months after they had their first child, they're just like, man, I just, I can't believe it. I'm a
father. But as for the mother, she's in autopilot from day one. And so the whole point of all of
this is to show you that there's a connection there, that's special, and it's different. And so this
is why in even Islam, there's an additional emphasis that mothers, to serve them and to love them,
and to protect them is more so in its emphasize than it is for the fathers. And again, you know, a
		

			famous speaker once said, it's like saying that the mother gets the gold medal, and the father gets
the silver and the bronze. So think of it that way, right? They're all still qualified, they all
still win. But the levels are a little bit different. So now with that being said, Why am I starting
it this way, when we're talking about life with children? Well, for the kids that are listening to
this now and the students that are listening to this, your mom in particular, you owe her your
entire life, you owe her your life, in service, and in respect. So that's what we mean from a
spiritual angle, to respect and to love her simply Why? Because she gave birth to you, your father
		

			that connection in that respect. I'm going to elaborate further when we get to the section of sort
of uses certain things that I want to extract from that sort of but right now, let's now look at
exactly where this connection is coming from. Let's turn our attention to sort of costs us so total
costs us is the 28th surah of the Quran, the sorts of stories, and it actually starts off with the
story of Musa alayhis salaam. This is actually the most detailed account of the life of Masada. He
said I'm found in Sorrento palaces, although his story is spread out in several different areas of
the poor n Suunto cluses harbors, and it holds the most detailed account of his life and it also has
		

			the most of his story, but scattered throughout the poor and found in this chapter sort of impulses.
Now I want you to listen to how it starts. The mother is ordered by Allah so musala he said I'm his
mother is told while hayner Isla ami Moosa and aadl Deering, so we inspired the mother of Noosa that
in order for her to to basically be tested to give this child up a leg is gonna order now order her
now to just give up something and sacrifice for Allah. So what what is the login to tell her to do
that either 50 IRA. So in other words, her job is to take care of her son Mousavi. So, what if for
any moment, she feels like she can she was poor? She didn't have the means to she couldn't take care
		

			of him. So Allah then inspires her that you the 50 if you're afraid he he phillium was too happy
what a Pakistani so take him put him inside of a river and let him go and listen to what Allah says
this is the mother Okay. Well, to huffy what attack is any Don't be afraid. Don't be sad. Now,
mother
		

			There's out there, tell me, if you're at a playground and you lose sight of your kid for three
seconds, what do you do? It's it's nerve racking. Just few seconds, you don't see them, you start
looking around. That's what mothers and parents in general, that's what we do. You know, we make
sure that we're always there to protect our kids, especially when they're young and vulnerable like
that.
		

			This mother lusardi son's mom is told, not only just leave your child, and this is not no playground
anymore, but put your child prepared that child and put the child into a river and just let it float
away. You know, just imagining this stuff makes me feel very nervous and very scared. Just Just to,
if I was like, for me, if if this was turned the other way around, and the father was told to allow
the child to go into the river, I don't know. It is it's unimaginable how difficult and no wonder,
Allah starts to give some reassurance and say, well, to half the while attacks and you don't be
afraid, don't be sad. Now, here's the thing. Why not to half a one attack has no is found quite a
		

			few places in the poor end. Every time a love wishes to give reassurance in one in a very difficult
test that's at a personal level. So let me give you another example. The mother has to give up her
child that's personal. And that's the worst test Allah says, Don't be sad. Don't be afraid. Don't be
sad. In another sort of, sort of facilite Allah subhanaw taala says at the time of death, the angels
will be sent to you and will army of them. And what are they going to say? Well, that led to half
well attack is no Don't be afraid. Don't be sad. Because death is just us alone. It's just us. We
know we're going to go meet Allah. So there's, that's a personal test again, and such as the whole
		

			scenario throughout the entire port, and when Abu Bakar of the loved one and the Prophet alayhi
salatu wa sallam, they were stuck in the cave. He was scared double bucha Allah reveals to the
messenger early so that was set in less than in the Lucha Mariner tells the process to tell Abu
Bakar Don't be sad, Allah is with us see the same word. And again, they're both being persecuted.
There's this like internal sense of fear that they have that even if they try to act brave on the
outside, it's very intimate, it's personal. They're feeling it on the inside. Every time. A lot
talks to us about a test that's really personal. It's not at a community scale or a global scale.
		

			A lot always follows it up with Don't be afraid. Don't be sad.
		

			So the new parents, moms, dads, all of you, especially having that child for the first time or the
second or the fourth child and you're wondering, gosh, I don't know how I'm going to make ends meet
How do I take care of four children with one job? What is the lesson what and Cliff Delilah Sophia
you're the newcomer love them infinitely and sort of tober if you ever afraid of being poor like
your I ILA is not poor as in you're going to be on the street, meaning I let you you wouldn't have
enough to sustain a family unless as long as you keep your faith and let hoffy whether that has any
and don't be scared, don't be afraid as long as you do that. Then inshallah I will make you rich for
		

			sofa you'll honeycomb a law firm in fugly alone will make you rich from his riches from his
bounties. So musataha salaam has to give up his child, mozzarella, his salaams mum has to give him
up. So she does it. Look what Allah does. Next in rod do who la khwaja Illumina more selling, don't
worry, we're going to return him back to you. And I'm returning back to he's going to be from
amongst the messengers. So now she's getting all of this inspiration. The versus them continue, I
want to just jump to what happened to her reaction, we'll also have full ad or only moussaieff
feriha. The heart of the mum of musala, a salon became empty, fairly empty. A failure is like a
		

			vessel that should have water. But there isn't a single drop that's called fatty for ad is another
name for heart in the Quran.
		

			And just the fact that Allah uses this particular word for heart to describe how she feels tells you
that there's something very special between mum and her children. Fatiha is not just heart. Fatima
is a heart that is yearning and crying and weeping. It's overwhelmed with emotion that's fattier,
that's a full ad. So four ad is the kind of heart that's overwhelmed with emotion. And as a result,
the tears start to flow. So the emotional outburst of tears. That's, that comes from the heart.
That's that's the type of heart in the end that is called full ad and full ad is used in different
places in the court. And interestingly enough, it's used very commonly to describe this whole ordeal
		

			between
		

			The mother of musante seven her son. So what happened to her heart will also have four adult only
Mussa family her. Her heart was so filled with emotions, it became empty. She became she felt empty.
She felt like there was no purpose on this planet anymore. Just because she lost her son. She was
told to give up her son. And here's the thing. She was told by a lot to do this. I presupposed to
just have trusted Alola told you just and he even promised he'll return him and he'll return him
better than what he was before. So don't worry. What this teaches us is sure, from a spiritual
sense, we trust Allah. But the human in all of us, is still emotional. It's still difficult. And
		

			that's the separation, that parents you must have, as a unit as a as a family that you separate and
don't cloud emotions, with with just the dean, don't cloud it up. Don't cover it up and be like, you
have to be patient. You got to be like the mother of musante Center, you have to pray and make Dora
you see all of those things are healing tools. But at the end of the day, as human beings just like
the messenger, they slept with Sam and everybody else that we know, humans cry, and humans feel sad.
And there is no exception to the mother of one of the greatest prophets to ever touch to grab the
mother from Socrates. And finally, brothers and sisters, particularly for the for the mothers, take
		

			a look what happens next. This is just remarkable to me. We'll call it Tim rod. So I'm just backing
up now to the previous verse. We'll call it tomorrow to fit around hora taurine, Lee wellock lead up
to total war as a foreigner owner tells me that whether done will homeland mushroom. So the mother
of excuse me the we'll call it an impromptu the woman of fit around meaning the woman of fit our own
meaning her his wife. So fit arounds wife said kotora to it any leeway, like oh how beautiful our
eyes have become an YouTube with our own. Your eyes have become beautiful when we watch this
beautiful child. So what happened? Here is the tyrant, the biggest tyrant on the planet, sees a
		

			child Mousavi slim, and his eyes start to twinkle in his eyes, it becomes pleased with what he sees.
This is the man who's killing babies and children. He's killing babies children is killing women.
And he now falls in love with this kid that they just found just floating up to the Nile and right
up to his palace. And the mother says let's talk to a little wiser Indian foreigner Don't hurt him
or don't kill him. He might be of benefit to us, or will adopt him welcome language. And Allah says
that as they're thinking about what they're going to do with this kid, there's no remorse. There's
no feelings. In other words, they're not saying to themselves, you know, where did this kid come
		

			from? We should probably do something. Let's try to send out a notice or campaign missing child. No.
They just thought for themselves. It was about them and them alone and they took the child in and
they raised the child. Ulla has his plans though. So here's the thing that I'm going to conclude
with brothers and sisters. There's that verse sound familiar? So that verse that I just read to you
is verse number nine in suta. Tell us Does that sound familiar? Did you hear a su a verse like that
in another part of the soda? Let me show you what that part is. So let's go to sulit Yousef and
listen to this.
		

			Here's where Allah subhanho wa Taala says, look,
		

			we'll call it this star Oh, Mr. Ali Marathi he accademy mouthwash. Listen to us as a foreigner, I
will tell you that who went down? And then he pauses, okay, the only camera can only use. They said
the exact same thing. When slaves when people came to purchase Yusuf Alayhi Salaam as a slave, there
was a minister of finance. And his wife, who saw use of it said they fell in love with him. They
fell in love with this beauty.
		

			What did they say? They said, oh, we're gonna adopt him. I said, Fine. I own a toughy that, well,
perhaps he'll benefit us or we'll just adopt him as one of our one of our kids. Perhaps they
couldn't have children. It's the exact same sentence that fit our own. And his wife said when they
saw musar they said What does this teach you? You have one of the worst individuals that are out.
But then you have the minister of finance for genuinely he and his wife who ended up at the end you
know genuinely being good people. And but their, their reaction to a beautiful child is exactly the
same.
		

			They wanted to know how, okay, if we adopt this child, how could our household benefit from the
presence of this child? They thought the same way. And what that tells you is that the whole thought
process and approach to parenting with has with the father and the mother. It has to be synchronized
to an extent. Right? They're always have to try to be on the same page. And we alluded to this when
we introduced this video yesterday, or excuse me the day before. So they have to be some sense of
consistency. You both have to be on the same page can't have one parent here. And another one here.
One says yes, the other one says nose and nose because why, at the end of the day, when this kid
		

			grows up now and starts to understand and doesn't know who to follow, guess what they end up doing.
Following themself.
		

			My parents can't make up their mind. So I'll just do what I want. That's a tragedy.
		

			So this is where I'm going to pause. I'm going to leave you with this just to think about it to
reflect this is only the beginning. There is lots to talk about with respect to how mothers raise
and connect with their kids and young adults in the house. So I will continue with this subject for
the next few episodes because they let eterna. Once again, just like hello Heiner for all of you
tuning in and watching while they can listen, I'm working to lie to everybody who sends their setups
and please like I said, if you're not doing this already, gather the family and watch this as a
family. And if you have any questions, any concerns, whether it's you The parents or your your
		

			family, your kids and so on, just type it in the comment field inshallah and I'll get to it Okay.
Hello, hi to everybody. You take care and we'll continue with our next installment tomorrow beads
nilla. Santa Monica Monica to low water cut.