Musleh Khan – Life in isolation. Why it’s getting worse.

			Okey dokey. Cinema Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, everyone to smell al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu
was salam, ala rasulillah, as you probably could see from the title, isolation and life in isolation
is getting worse. And what I mean by that is for the last, I would say we can a half, I have gotten
more emails of people asking about anxiety, depression, and even having suicidal thoughts.
		

			These are Muslims, by the way, all of them. And they're asking about how to cope with these
feelings. And what's even more unbelievable is that there are also Muslims who have never had these
tendencies before, who have never experienced any form of depression and anxiety, asking and say,
Hey, you know, I'm really feeling trapped, I'm really feeling lonely. And and keep in mind that
these are people who have families, you know, they're living with their wife or husband, and they
have children, or they're living with their parents. These are not single bachelor type individuals.
So these are people who are home. And they're feeling alone. And as every day goes by, it's getting
		

			worse and worse for them. And so they're asking now, what do we do? Even one person this morning, it
was the, it was literally one of the most difficult emails to read. There was a young Muslim sister,
she said she was in her late teens, 18, or 19, I think I think it was 19. And she said that she's
been locked up in her room for the past three days, and she can't get out. And it's not that because
it's a terrible atmosphere for her, or she feels like that, or there are problems or anything in the
house. He's just saying this because he's like, What is there to do, like, come out from one room,
and I'm still in another room, whether it be the living room or anywhere else. And she's like, it's
		

			just so confined. So what she's been doing is that she's been going outside, a little more often
people have been encouraging her to take walks, go get on her bike, or what have you. She's been
doing all of that. And she says none of that is helping her none of that is working. And finally,
she said that, one thing that helped out was one of her friends gave her a call, they hadn't
connected with each other since this whole isolation thing began. So one of her friends called out
and just checked up and see seeing how she was doing. And she said, that was the first time she felt
a bit alive. She felt a bit, you know, okay. And it really reminded me something. And this is why I
		

			wanted to share some thoughts on the subject. One of the best ways to deal with isolation, is look
at it with the opposite lens, meaning when you're isolated, you're alone. So try to provide some
sense of company and support for people who feel alone. And in our case, it's about just reaching
out and contacting people. And the onus is really on us, the people who don't feel this isolation,
or we're not in depression or anxiety. It's actually that responsibility is on us. We've let these
people down. And a lot of you know, there are a lot of people online that are very quick, very good
at blaming, ie memes and chew up and so on, and it's all their fault, and they should have reached
		

			out and this and that. Do you honestly think we have our own magic one that we can, we don't feel
depressed as well. We don't feel anxiety, we don't wish that we could call somebody and talk to
them. And explain to them how we feel we're humans too. And you'll be surprised that there are quite
a few shoo you quite a few leaders that feel the exact same way. But they have to muster up the
courage, they have to put aside those feelings and be strong for everyone else. And don't get me
wrong, we take a lot of pride in what we do. And I'm and despite how I may feel a certain way or
others may feel a certain way. We do put those things aside willfully and with a sense of honor and
		

			pride. Because we do want to help people out we do want to see that people become better. And for a
lot of us especially like myself, I find a lot of gratification in that I become stronger, and I
feel more confident in everything when I help others. And so with that being said, we can't do it
all. And so I'm asking any of you, there's somebody you know anybody it doesn't matter who they are,
even if they're not your friend, just call people go down the list of your contacts, and just look
at names and just call people Hey, Salaam Alaikum. How are you checking in
		

			how you're doing in life. I started doing this with a couple members of massages across the city.
And these are people I don't think I've ever dialed their numbers, but we know each other when I'm
in that Masjid, we talk a Salaam Alaikum. I'm here to do the talk the whole, but whatever it is, and
then I leave, I decided to call them at their house. And they were so shocked that people like us
that we're extremely busy, and we're busy, we're talking to so many other people, that we would
actually make time to speak with them. And I told them, you know, it's my duty. All right, I don't,
I don't have to wait for others to reach out, reach out to me who's mostly con who's people like us,
		

			we also have to take the responsibility from time to time, and just to reach out for the sake of
reaching out. And I can tell you men, you know, some kind of law, some of them it like make their
day that we got a chance to connect. And they're like, Oh my god, I'm so happy to hear from you.
This morning, somebody sent me a gift. They sent me some chocolates, they sent me some gifts for my
kids, they mailed it over, it got sent. And so Pamela like I know the family and everything and they
just thinking of you or remembering you. And I can't tell you how much that's made my day made my my
kids their day. They're bouncing off the walls with some of their new toys and things like that. And
		

			obviously, you know, we sanitize, we did all of those things, and we just enjoy it. And so that's
the first thing, brothers and sisters is to really take the time to reach out to people. And you've
heard me say this before in other videos that it is of our son, that Allah subhanho wa Taala created
this entire planet that we live together. We don't just live in isolated pockets everywhere, we
actually are one body and we live together, human enterprise is this way. The second thing is, for
those of you who might be listening to this and feeling alone and isolated, like it's really getting
to you, for you on, I just want to say
		

			ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to give you the strength to get through this. Now I'm speaking specially
		

			problems at home. So it's not just isolation anymore. But it's also about marriage problems,
relationship issues, all of those things, by the way they've skyrocketed in during since we've all
been told to stay home during this whole.
		

			All the statistics, especially in America, I was listening on to the news the other day, they've all
gone up exponentially and all the resources to support people who have relationship and domestic
problems that are simply not there. All of that the resources have been exhausted. And now new
funding and new
		

			deals and plans and, you know, conversations to try to figure out how do we make all of this work?
So with that being said, those of you who have these kinds of problems? Look, I'm going to be honest
with you. The first thing is if your marriage is really taking a hit and a burn through isolation,
you're going to have to figure out a way to counsel yourselves, you're going to have to figure out a
way because why? simply sitting down and getting counseling is almost impossible. And if you're
thinking well, what about on the phone? Again, it's not as easy as it sounds, why? Because that's
the only form of connecting with people that's available to us is on the phone. It's either through
		

			whatever virtual methods there are. The point is, is that you're on some kind of digital device,
that's the only way we have to communicate with one another. So believe me, it's overwhelming. And
it's not easy to be able to sit with just one or two individuals, for half hour, 45 minutes, listen
to all of that, try to help them through it that have follow up conversations and follow up
appointments. And then you have to make time to do this. Because why? You've got to sort out your
own stuff at home as well. So when you consider all of these variables, it's not an easy thing to
depend on. And so the first thing that I want to say to you is that you're going to have to find,
		

			I'm going to have to look at some sort of common ground to figure out how are you going to counsel
some of your own issues. So yeah, it's going to probably be where you and your spouse are going to
try to achieve the impossible and have a decent, respectful, dignified conversation about the
problems that you're having, why you're arguing so much, why the marriage is going down the drain,
and literally sit there and talk through some of this stuff. That doesn't work. This is where you're
going to have to be a bit clever to see who you can reach out to whether it be people like us, or
others within the family have like some zoom type.
		

			And try to figure out how you can get input from others as well. But here's the thing, try to avoid
making decisions that would jeopardize or that would be a major impact on the on the relationship.
So if you think that your relationship is going through a divorce, or it's heading towards that
direction, try your best to hold off on that until this stuff is over. So that way, at least some of
the logistics of ensuring that this is the right decision and making the process of divorce a little
bit easier, that can be facilitated, it's almost impossible to do that virtually. So just keep those
things in mind. The last thing is for all of you who are not married, so these are just for anybody
		

			out there, whatever kind of issues you're having, whether it be isolation, you're having sibling,
sibling rivalries, or nobody's even reaching out to you, everything is just a total mess, then it's
not just the relationship. It's not just the climate in the house. But it's also financial burden,
the emotional and psychological burden. oversleeping, lack of exercise, gaining weight for some
people, it's so depressing that they're losing weight as well. And then I'm going to add to that all
of the spiritual issues. Ramadan is just literally around the corner. It's kind of depressing
thinking that Ramadan is going to come and we're going to probably be alone. I've already started to
		

			get some reports, confirmed that Mecca and Medina will most likely cancel out all week, this year.
So when you think about the center of the whole Muslim world, considering to cancel, then who are
we? Where are where we live, and what we do. So all of these factors just weighing heavily on you
emotionally and psychologically. How are you going to cope with all of this, guys, remember, some of
the verses have hope in the poor, and after every single burden, hardship, pain, struggle, always
comes ease, look forward to that, that's a lost promise. That's really, that's our religion, and its
promise. And as a matter of fact, it's probably the same promise of all religions out there anyway.
		

			All all bad things must come to an end, just like how we say all good things must come to an end,
well, even some of the bad things as well. So just keep that in mind. And then also Allah subhanho
wa Taala says, like, from an individual perspective, that he will never allow us to deal with things
that we don't have the capacity or the ability to there. So just realize that whether it be COVID,
whether it be any damage, whether it be a personal issue, a health problem, relationships, whatever
it is, loneliness, all of that sort of thing. Just keep in mind that all of this because we are
alive in 2020, we have what it takes to get through this otherwise Allah would have not allowed us
		

			to confront some of these things. So just be confident.
		

			And talk to yourself and tell yourself that you know, I'm here and I can get through this. And every
day that goes by is one day closer to all of this coming to an end insha Allah Tada. We've done a
lot of time at home. And it looks like we'll just have to do it for a bit longer. But every day is a
step closer to that freedom that we're all yearning for. To be able to socialize and be with each
other. It's coming in sha Allah in this the last thing that I want to conclude with really is always
always take the time to remember each other in prayers, one of my favorite doors that makes things
easy whatever it is, that's difficult become easy. is the one of my all time favorite door as the
		

			Prophet alayhi salatu salam taught us and a lot of you I'm sure know this Allahumma less than illa
majerle settler for and touch it has not either sheet settler. I'm going to say that one more time
if you're there and you want to repeat with me and let's do this together. A lahoma the salon in the
merger I'll tell who said hello, and touch has now either should say hello. So this dorm or a lot
less so hidden illa mancherial Tomasello, nothing becomes easy, except what you make easy and
geralyn hasn't either. She said hello. You are the one that takes grief and sadness. And you turn
that into something easy to cope with. vanta generally has not either she says hello. Now listen to
		

			the wording. Allah does the door It doesn't say Oh Allah, you take grief and you replace it with it.
		

			Happiness, unless says with grief, or the, the the doctor says, touch on touch on is that you take
grief, but you add the strength of ease the ability to cope with that grief. So it's a difference
than saying that you wipe out or you remove or you replace grief. It's not what the Dora is asking
for. And it's unhealthy to say to somebody, cut off your grief and replace it with happiness. That's
impossible. Who does that? who just has like that, you know, emotional button inside it is shut off
prying shut off sadness and grief. And all of a sudden happiness kicks in, or what we usually take
for granted and we say to one another, just shut off. Whatever pain you're going through, turn on
		

			Dora turn on heavy turn on a everything just starts to fall into place perfectly. It's not how poor
and and yet work. I've said this many times before. Although the things that we do islamically they
don't change a person. So he would no matter how much you pray door, our poor end all of this stuff,
it doesn't change you it doesn't transform you like your Optimus Prime from transformers, like you
just don't get into a different phase. These are all means towards change. They are a medium towards
change. And how where you get this from is from the poor end itself in the Lucha that you'll have
your own map your home, you'll hate your map, the unforeseen. Allah will never change the state of
		

			people until they do what until they initiate some change within themselves. So the secret to really
turning your life around is the willingness to want a better life for yourself. It's the
willingness, it's the thirst, I want to be happy, I want to take my sadness and to turn it into
something that makes me strong that that eventually leads me to happiness. So there's a bit of, you
know, psycho psychology here that you're going to have to toy with with your mind. And it takes
time, you're gonna have to really study and and really reflect on yourself and take some time but to
do it too, right so that it's sustainable. Otherwise, if you listen to a lot of the advice, were
		

			read this don't do this thing. Everything will turn around upside down, and it's all good. All of
that comes with expiry dates, so it might last you for a day or two or two or a week or two. And
before you know it the next time something upsets you, it either becomes the same way or 10 times
worse. So you end up getting nowhere. And as a result, a lot of people end up losing hope in the
eighth and heavy that are supposed to be the most powerful tools for them. So with that being said,
inshallah I hope that helps guys. I'm almost where I need to be right now. So I'm gonna just turn
this off right now in sha Allah with May Allah subhana wa with our Allah bless and reward all of
		

			you. I don't know if he's watching, but if that is Dr. minneota I'll pass him a lot so much. Oh,
bless you and honor you, Chef. It's an honor to have you here. And we look forward to benefiting
from you as well. And I see also Dr. Fadi hackaton Dr. friary icon, one of the heroes that we have
working day and night to help patients and help people who are struggling with this pandemic and so
on May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you and honor you and keep you strong and healthy. Also, in
short, a lot of terror. So with that being said, Guys, we have to give help, where help is do we
have to give rights and we have to give honor where it is due and these people here that I've just
		

			mentioned, these are people that are really you have to give them their help. You have to give them
their rights and acknowledge them by their name, acknowledge them in your eyes and pray that Allah
subhanho wa Taala keeps these people strong and healthy in their life of loving me. Okay guys, I'm
pulling up where I need to be selectively shut down here and I've talked to you guys again said I'm
already too long.