Musleh Khan – Family Life #15

			Cinema is a commodity to LA who bought a car to everyone Bismillah recommended Rahim al hamdu Lillah
wa Salatu was salam, ala rasulillah were buried. So this is, I think it's part 14, Part 14 or 15 of
our series in family life or life with children. So I've got my few points that I wanted to share
with you today of just basically five tips of how to remain productive as a family, how did you
continue to grow and understand and interact with some of the things that we've talked about in all
of the previous episode. So let's get right into it. When we're talking about productivity as a
family, just keep in mind that this is something our religion has constantly taught to and continues
		

			to teach through all of the knowledge and explanations and teachings we have. being productive and
constantly working on yourself and improving not just as a parent, not just as a student. But just
as a believer, as a Muslim. You're always looking for ways and different avenues that you can
improve in terms of education, in terms of your commitment, all of the things that you need to be an
overall good person and a good Muslim. So with that being said, let's get right into just five
things that I wanted to share with you in sha Allah Butera that they all come from the Quran and
Sunnah. And so the first one is to put to Allah subhanho wa Taala first. So at the end of the day,
		

			this is one of the things that we spoke about, I believe it was the second installment of the
series, in where when the man early has set up His teaching his child, all of these wonderful pieces
of advice, the first thing that he teaches him is don't commit shellcode with Allah don't associate
with Allah. And that's core ends way of saying there is always that higher authority. So you put a
lot first before you put yourself and anyone else.
		

			The Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam did say that none of us will ever have complete and complete
belief, unless we love him more than we love our own parents and our children. Meaning at the end of
the day, this is the methodology that we follow that we trust, and we do our best to love and
appreciate. So that way we can, we can take some of those teachings and apply them in our own lives.
So we become better people, we become better Muslims. So the first thing is to always put Allah
subhanho wa Taala. First before anything and everything. There are a couple of things I want to
mention with this first point, number one, if you talk about self control, so those moments where
		

			you get frustrated, stressful and angry as a parent or as a child, having Allah subhanho wa Taala in
your life, the first priority and anything and everything keeps you under control keeps you poise
because why you fear a higher authority. So at the end of the day, you want to react, you want to
say something, something upsets you or frustrates you, but you hold back. And when you hold back and
you do this for the sake of if I say something I'm going to regret it allows listening to me, if I
do something, I'm going to regret it, Allah is watching me. So if you start thinking this way that
you're constantly being monitored, it keeps you under control SubhanAllah. So that's the first
		

			point. The second point is that there's always hope when you have Allah subhanho wa Taala in your
life. So when all of those difficult times those unbearable moments in parenting and just family
life, having a life so agile always gives you that sense of hope that things will improve and things
will become better. So it's really important that not just from a religious perspective that we have
Allah in our life that we pray to and we worship, but Allah subhanho wa Taala that presence in that
connection can actually help us remain happy content, and peaceful in every circumstance, especially
the people that you live with, obviously, the people that you live with, now our Prophet alayhi
		

			salatu salam told us hydrocodone, hydrocodone, li la, or another narration, the autocomplete
autocomplete entity, that the best of you are the ones that treat your family in the best way. So if
you're good to your family, then you're good to everybody else. Why does the process that I say
that, because at the end of the day, these are the people that you live with. They're the most
difficult people to tolerate in your life. But it's this at the same token, you can't live without
them. And so the process is telling us that with patience and self control with your family, by
default, you will be able to do this with everyone around you everybody in your life, everyone you
		

			encounter and you meet. So it's really important brothers and sisters about having a lot of the
priority. So you fear him before you fear anything else and anyone else. Number two, is to forgive
and forget. So forgive and forget. Yeah, there are going to be moments where your children you're
the
		

			To the young adults, members of that family, they're going to hit a nerve. And that nerve is going
to be, it's going to have a permanent, long lasting effect that you're going to have memories of
maybe something your daughter or your son said to you, or they did to you, that you simply can't
forget. And if you are a parent, you know that this is 100% possible, that you'll have these kinds
of interactions where there are going to be those moments that hurt you more than anything else.
Look, an example of this is, you know, when a friend tells you that, you know, you're annoying, or
you smell or you know, something they say to you. But the point is, you take offense to that, it's
		

			easy to kind of just make up and just continue with life as friends, it's easy to talk it out, it's
easy to just be like, you know what, you're so annoying when you said that, but whatever, let's go,
let's go have coffee or whatever, right? But when your parents or somebody in the family says
something similar. You know, it could be as simple as you know, I can't stand sitting around you
because you're annoying. You talk too much. When it comes from family. It's, it's 100 times worse.
And it could it's so much different. It's just like when your parents give you advice, if a stranger
or a friend or somebody domestic say to you don't gotta be a good Muslim, alright, that's the only
		

			way to be successful, you got to be a good believer. That's one thing, it's information. It's a
reminder, when your father or your mother tells you, you know, I want you to be a good Muslim, I
want you to be someone pleasing to Allah, it's just different. It's different when parents say it's
different when kids say it, and hurtful words, when they come from members of the family. It's it
could be even devastating, it could have the worst long lasting effects. So how, what is one way
that we could heal that whole situation, that whole process a little quicker, forgive, forget it,
put it aside, especially if it's not something major, if it's something really petty, just put it
		

			away? Who cares? That's literally the attitude. This is one healing method and even experts use
around the world is to have the ability to just forgive your kids, forgive your parents move on,
don't hold grudges. And at least from a religious perspective, the the Muslims that are listening to
this, we know very well, that holding grudges on anyone, let alone your family is not a good
scenario for a believer. So in other words, in other words,
		

			to hold on to something that you know, can be resolved, but you choose not to, it reflects, you
know, in not in not in a good way with respect to your faith, it could be an indication that of
course, you may have weak faith with Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because Allah loves to forgive. So the
fact that a lot love something, we should love it too. Secondly, is that you don't know when time is
up, you don't know. I mean, we're living in a world where we're getting a very hard global lesson on
the reality of time. And so not to take things for granted. And not to take the moments that you
have with family for granted. And this is one of the wisdoms why lockdown and everybody is saying
		

			it, you know to be with family, it's an opportunity to interact with family to get closer to family,
you know why? Because they are the only people that you have left in this world of hope, of
direction of guidance. And so if there are things in the way for you to discover and see and
experience that one healing method, just forgive each other, bury the hatchet, do whatever it is,
especially when these things are pity, when there are major issues in the family. That's a different
scenario, you need help in that case. So that could have somebody a third party intervening, I try
to counsel the situation, but the point is your family. So whatever problems you have, no matter how
		

			major they are, this should be problems that you can work through resolve and simply move on. This
is This is by far one of the best qualities and most beloved qualities of Allah subhanho wa Taala in
a believer number three is to find hobbies, common hobbies, as a family. So play board games, find a
social life, smile, laugh, do something. But it's critical that it's done as a family. You know,
very often the daughter, she's on her iPad, the son is on his cell phone, and everybody else in the
family has got their own digit somewhere. They're their own get,
		

			excuse me, their own digital device. That's what I want to say, their own digital device somewhere
that's sitting watching TV mom could be on the phone and everybody is just kind of together, but
they're separate at the same time. And this goes on even at the dinner table. You know you have one
of the kids there, they're still on their phone, they break, take a spoon of food and go back to
their phone. It's like all of this stuff. There's no connection and that's what hobbies does hobby.
		

			Or just finding an activity that makes all of you laugh and enjoy each other's company. By default,
it turns that family into even a friendship, you start depending and looking out for each other,
because why, even through the bad times, but now the good times you appreciate each other, it is
absolutely crucial and essential. One of the fundamental parenting tips that experts around the
world give is to find activity as a family. You know, I read an article A long time ago of a mother
who raised a four year old genius. Her article mentioned why. And while she did that, when we say a
four year old genius, this kid, four years old, was already reading fluently, they were able to
		

			calculate they were good at math, they could spell tons and tons of words and things like that. They
were able to write sentences, and four years old. So when she was asked, What did you do? And how
did you do it? Her only response was I removed the TV from my house. So it forced my kid to that
when she got bored. She found activities to do, she got a book, she started drawing, and then that
turned into she started trying to write and then she would look at books and copy the letters and it
just spiraled like that. And she goes literally I just removed the TV. We haven't had a TV in the
house for years. And I thought somehow the lump when you find something common, so the mother could
		

			be a studious student or person. And now the kids see that and they start reflecting that same
behavior. So finding something to do that's productive as well. So aside from work, play some games,
go outside, jump around, you know, go for walks, bike ride something. And this is all a game. Some
of the prophetic traditions of our messenger are the Select was, you know, there is a narration of
Irish out of the alumni head. This is an authentic narration narrated and as soon as I'd be dead
would that one day she was writing on her horse the process one was writing on his horse. And there
was a party a group of sahab is ahead of them, so prophesies allowed that to group of sahabas to
		

			continue their journey. And he stopped and his wife stopped there. I showed her the love line that
they descended off of their horses, and a prophet Allah Azza wa sallam decided that, Okay, you know
what, let's have a race manager. This is in the middle of the desert, and they start running with
each other. What are they doing, just having fun, no strings attached, he's not going to start
teaching her how to eat or something as they're sprinting down in the middle of desert. They're just
talking and they're just having a wonderful time and they start laughing. So the first time the
Prophet it says was Salaam, he lost that race. And he showed it to Lavanya. She said, you know,
		

			she's narrating and telling the story. And she's like, I was fit enough that I won the race. later
on. When I showed her the loved one how she gained a little weight, she slowed down a little bit.
The Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam decides a second time to do the exact same thing. So they're on
a journey tells the rest of the companions move ahead, they both get off their horses. And he's
like, I want a rematch. So they start racing again. And because I was a little slower, the second
time around a profit, I used to sit on wonder race. And he told her, I wanted to race you this time,
because I knew I had an advantage. And so Pamela, they laughed it off. And it just continued with
		

			their journey. So find some some kind of common ground where you can just literally laugh and have
fun. Number four. Number four is of course,
		

			patience, patience, patience. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is perfect. So the disadvantages, the lack
of certain abilities that your kids might have, that your parents might have, you know, I wish my
parents were select so and so I wish my parents were more younger, or they were more strong, where
they were more understanding, or I wish my kids could have been happy, they'll Colorado wish they
could have learned this acoustic could have became a doctor. You know, that's fine if you have
certain desires, and you have like certain, you know, objectives in life that you want. But at the
end of the day, the scenario and what Allah put in front of you, be patient with it, and accept it
		

			for what it is. And understand that. At the end of the day, we're human beings, students that are
listening to this, your parents, human beings, parents, your children are not toys, they're not
furniture, they are human beings too. They're not perfect. When teenagers make mistakes, when they
say things they shouldn't say when they get themselves involved into things that they shouldn't be
involved with. Guess what? They're being teenagers. just mean that it's acceptable doesn't mean that
we should just let it go and be like, okay, it's a phase let it happen. Don't speak up, try to deal
with the situation. But at the end of the day, forgive forget move on be patient because why? We're
		

			all human beings. kulu Benny, Adam Hawthorne, or hadal hapa in a tower boy. Our messenger early
slides with Salaam told us human enterprises always subject to mistake. And the best of those who
make mistakes are the ones who are willing to forgive. So keep that in mind. And last and fifth and
final point.
		

			is perhaps maybe the most important. If you can't do the first four, then at least the fifth and
final one is the most important and that is Dora. Dora, Dora. Our Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam
tells us the door of parents is never rejected. And the scholars they tell us that even if that door
is against your own family, it'll still be accepted.
		

			Like, that's the emphasis. And the fact that Allah made that after his perfecting worship with him.
What came up comes immediately after and almost a dozen verses is to be good to parents, shows that
at the end of the day, the door of these two individuals in particular parents is very special. It's
very different. It's a very unique and it's literally one of the places and one of the moments in
our lives, that our doors is always listened to when you become a parent. And so for parents, it's
really really absolutely critical. You never stop praying. Allah subhanaw taala says Eva Latina MnO
of people of event who enforce Sakuma illegal now to protect yourself and your family from the fire.
		

			Some of the scholars have
		

			explained that protection in this area means to make a duel to Allah that's protection. So make dua
to Allah that He gives you all the things to say and do so that you are protected you and your
family from the fire. So it's a duty, it's not just something that we do for for the world, but at a
community level at a global level at a political level. No. This is something that you do for the
same person that is beside you every single day of your life. The person that you raise the person
that you live with the person that you wake up and you see each and every day, they are also just as
deserving and maybe even more than anyone else. And so with that being said, keep in mind also when
		

			profits are you slept with Salaam tells us the best of you are the ones who are best to their
parents, excuse me best to their family. Some of the scholars also explained the clinical here is
the best that you can do for your family is pray for them. So in the process of sentencing is the
best you can be is the best of you is the one who is best to their parents, meaning the best of you
who are praying are the ones who allocate the majority of your dollars to your family. So praying
for them and making to offer them in sha Allah it works both ways, even for the kids. Our Prophet is
not to Salaam told us that when parents pass away, their the Dora of children is never rejected, it
		

			continues and they benefit from that door even in their graves. So if that's happening in their
graves, what about when they're still alive? So keep praying for your parents. No matter how
annoying they may be praying, keep praying for your children, no matter how much they may drive you
nuts. It is dwad that heals the problems of the world, the stresses of life, that we as human beings
do not have the capacity nor the strength to solve. May Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to reward
all of you and protect all of you and your families. These are five tips to help you become more
productive as a family and I hope and I pray that it was beneficial in the long term. So with that
		

			being said, start from a low height and take care of me when until we meet again. Salaam Alaikum
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh