Musleh Khan – Ask Musleh – What are the guidelines for a pre-marital long distance relationship?

			Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and welcome to Ask Muslim This is of
course your brother Muslim calm? Let's take a look at today's question. Today's question actually
comes from a sister and she's asking about a long distance relationship before marriage, whether the
guidelines if you'd like on how to make that kind of relationship successful and eventually insha
Allah lead to a healthy marriage. First point, guys is that you want to make sure you understand
long distance relationships are difficult. And in and of themselves, they are discouraged for
somebody to fall into this kind of relationship simply because so many things are always up in the
		

			air, you're always going to be questioning where that person is going to be. And that trust issue is
always going to be there and always going to be tested. So you always got to hold on. And then you
know, there are going to be times where you can get a hold of each other. So you're always going to
be dealing with how to be patient and always to be positive. Like there's so many issues with just
being in a long distance relationship in and of itself. I'm not saying two brothers and sisters that
it's hot on because it's not in and of itself, how long, but it's extremely difficult. And why
that's important is you want to start off that the first step towards marriage is to try to make
		

			things easy for yourself as best as possible. So if you can be patient, and at least allow that
individual to be in the same city or somewhere where you can get access to him or her and the
family, then by all means try to do that as best as you can. However, if that's not an option, how
do you make this work? Number one, brothers and sisters is that this takes a lot of patience. And
this is one of the times where things are going to really be tested on both of you to make this work
and you need to be patient about it, there are going to be rough times throughout that relationship.
So you need that first criteria. Number two, is you have to be very careful on how that relationship
		

			goes forward between you and that individual. Obviously, you can't send pictures over the Internet
to that person. Because if the marriage sorry, if the engagement doesn't work, then what's going to
happen, you're going to be stuck with the dilemma of trying to get those pictures that you sent to
that individual back to you. And then you're going to be stuck with the whole problem, you know, if
they really deleted it from their computer and this and that all these minor minor issues are going
to be major problems for you. Then the third thing that I want to recommend here, when you're in a
long distance relationship is to have a supporting cast around you have people to encourage you that
		

			through the rough times where you can communicate, we feel it feels like things are not going to
work out. Try to have people around you that can support you that can help you that can support you
and that person on the other end as well. And finally, I want to say to you is to both of you must
have strong Eman to make something like this work. If you guys don't have a religion and you don't
have Islam in you, at least for that period, it's going to be very difficult to take something like
that and turn it into something very happy and fruitful at the end. And of course in a happy
marriage. So please try to reconsider in sha Allah, what kind of relationship you get into before
		

			you step into it. And obviously a long distance relationship even though the shediac permits. It
just keep in mind it can be very, very problematic and difficult as time progresses. So I hope that
answers the question. Take care everyone will sell Mr. alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato
		

			me
		

			realize we didn't watch the screen.
		

			Yeah, it does do it again.
		

			Yeah, my phone looks a little bit cooler here now.
		

			Yeah,
		

			sure.
		

			Okay. So no more alikum warahmatu Allahi Wa Barakatuh brothers and sisters. Welcome back to us
Muslim.
		

			commercial break. No way.
		

			Seriously, I felt like Maury Povich. Welcome back, everyone. Okay, let's do it again.