Musleh Khan – 10 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble – EP09

			Salam, alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters, your marriage is in trouble when
and here's part number nine, you're in denial, you need help. There's problems, there's issues,
rights aren't being fulfilled, or rights are being taken away from one another. And you're trying to
work this out, work this out with your spouse, you're not getting through, no one is listening. No
one is taking the advice. You need help, whether it's professionally or islamically, you need a
third party to be involved. So what do you do? How do you solve this problem? First and foremost,
brothers and sisters is the realization that help is needed. All too often, what happens is that
		

			when marriages need help, it's always one side that does all the work. So a lot of the times, it's
usually the sisters or the wives that go out seeking the help. I can't tell you how many times
somebody would walk into my office for some sort of marriage counsel, and it's just one side, it's
just either the wife, or it's just the husband. And when I asked them, Well, where's your spouse,
they'll say he doesn't want to come, he feels shy, or he's embarrassed, or she doesn't want to come,
she doesn't feel like we need help. So it's always one side doing all of the work you can survive.
Allah subhanho wa Taala gave you both love and mercy in your hearts. And he brought both of you
		

			together at the same time. Now when both of you are having problems, one person can't solve it, you
need to be together during those problems as well, the same way you were together when you brought
love and mercy into that marriage. So the first thing is to realize that there is a problem, and you
do need counsel you do you do need professional help. And secondly is to actually go out and get
that help. Now I have a couple pieces of advice of who you should get help from number one, try to
keep your problems within the family nucleus. So if it's husband and wife with the problems, then go
to like a sibling or in law or the mother or father especially and get them involved. Don't go to
		

			strangers leave that for later, try to solve this problem within the family itself. So that way, it
becomes easier. And the families already know these two individuals and they know what their
backgrounds are. So they can they can address these problems carefully. And more precisely, if that
doesn't work, then your second option is to go to people that you trust. So again, put aside that
professional help for a moment, go to people that you trust. So it could be like an uncle, an aunt
or a best friend, somebody you know, who will give good advice and they're responsible. So the key
here, if you see where I'm taking you is you have to try to solve this problem yourself first,
		

			before going to somebody else and saying to them, here's our problem. Tell us what to do. You have
to try to work this out on your own. Because it's inevitable that every single marriage is going to
have problems. This is the fifth Torah or the son of Allah subhanho wa Taala that we're going to
deal with this. And you see in the Sunnah of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So many
couples came up to him, and they unloaded their problems. Now it was different because whether you
had a question or you had one single problem, the fact that you have the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam accessible to you. It was easy to just go up to him and say yellow soda law my husband
		

			doesn't like me. Yarra soda law, my wife says she hates me, yada. So law, this right has been taken
away from me, what should I do, and the process is simple. Just give one sentence and the problem is
resolved. Today, we don't have him anymore. And so we have to try to work this stuff out ourselves.
So you try to work it within the couple that doesn't work, you go to families and friends, that
doesn't work. So your last and final option is depending on how severe the problem is, you either
get professional help, which means you'll have to invest time and you might have to invest some
money, get professional help. It's worth it. It's your marriage. It's half of your deen. So it's
		

			worth the time, the money and the effort to go out and do that. But my best advice to all of you is
go to the Islamic counseling first. Nothing will counsel your marriage better than your religion.
Nothing will counsel the marriage better than the poor end and the practice of our Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam go to an Imam who has the knowledge and has the experience who studied
marriage from books. He himself or her. She herself is married. They understand the problems in
marriage. They understand the culture and the society taking all of these things into
		

			effect. And these are the people you should talk to, don't go to somebody who doesn't know the
culture very well or doesn't have knowledge about marriage. And you go to them and you say, Shay, I
have this problem, that problem and he says to you, this is from shaitan, don't listen, to go back
home, you're fine. Go to somebody who is genuinely there to listen to understand you and can
actually give you practical advice, and steps on how to solve these problems. Be if nilay to Allah
with Allah subhanho wa Taala is help your problems will be solved. So brothers and sisters, if you
need help in your marriage, and you can solve it alone, go and seek that help. It's worth every
		

			moment, think about when you wanted to get married to one another, how much help you looked for and
you sought so that the marriage could happen, that the relationship could be stable and it could be
strong. Now the relationship is at risk. You should have the same desire and the same effort to keep
that marriage together and to fix these problems. Just like how you started the relationship in the
first place. May Allah subhanho wa Taala give us strength was salam wa alikum warahmatu Allahi wa
barakato
		

			salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters your marriage is in trouble when and
here's part number nine
		

			help is needed. Okay in detail.