Muhammad West – Youth Series – Part 02
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kitana rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad Ali wasabia Jermaine, our beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Oh praise me into Allah subhana wa tada and Chateau La Ilaha Illa we will witness that none has the right to be worshipped besides Allah subhanaw taala and we send our love greetings and salutations so beloved Avi Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to inspire some pure family to his companions, and those who follow him soon until the end of time. May Allah bless us to be straightforward and the sooner be Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam May Allah grant us to be
in his pseudonymous dunya and in his companionship in the life after death. I mean, we continue our series on on our youth, and voila, the prophets of Allah made a special emphasis on looking at his community and focusing on different demographics in in the oma. So there's not one message for everyone there's a message for the aunties and uncles there's a message for the children is a message for the youth, and a big segment of the very important segment in the community that we depend on as oma our young people. And not only that Ibiza lamb, but even the Quran and we find a loss of 100 Allah Himself, He honors young people. When young people do good, it is more beloved in
the sight of Allah than an old person. So we know if a young man 18 young woman 18 and the only Dean we see a young man in the masjid five times a day, and he's 18 years old, so much more, so much better than an 80 year old man that's in the masjid five times a day. This is just how it is. This is why Allah subhanho wa Taala gives young people who are conscious of Allah in the youth, especially with a special honor mentioned, when those who are older, and the Baraka that comes from young people, when they do good, is so much more. And if you look throughout the history of the dean, the MBA, many of them were youngsters, the Sahaba many of us are probably younger than the
prophets of Salaam genovesa. lamb was the most senior in terms of age amongst all the Sahaba is very seldom you find a companion that was older than abyssal Salaam, everyone you mentioned any companions name, and you'd find that they were younger junior to the Nabi sallallahu sallam. And this is where there is the strength and the honor in Islam, that change when you look at the oma the problems that we have in the oma a big, big part of the solution is to activate our youth, our youth needs to our young people need to become active, the talents, the skills, the energy needs to be brought forward. While we said that when we looked last week, we said South Africa has a major use
cases. So as Muslims, we have a crisis in the oma and in South Africa, it's even more acute than our youth seem to be, unfortunately, statistically doing worse than the rest of the world, unemployed, unskilled, no direction, our young people, many of them in this country are actually a problem to our society. And why why should South Africa, why should we have this crisis? What is the root cause through this crisis? And one of the reasons behind it, if not, the main reason is because it lies with parenting. The problem lies with the parents or the lack of good parents. I showed you that statistic, very scary statistic, where we see only about 30 foot between 30 and 40% of the kids in
this country know what it's like to have two parents in the house. The majority, the majority of the kids in this country grow up either with one or no parents. They're raised by grandparents. They're raised by step fathers who sleep mothers come from a broken home. And naturally, this is going to cause long term damage to these children. And when they grow up societal problems. That's why our society is a bit abnormal. A lot of good beautiful things in this country. But there's a lot of shocking things, the level of violent crime, the level of crime against children, women, these things are unique to South Africa, South Africa stands out. Only countries that are in the midst of
a civil war usually have the kind of horrifying statistics that we have. So how do we fix it? And as I mentioned the Gemma Yeah, most of your family law parents. Most of you here are very few youngsters are hungry. We see a few young faces today. But most of you are dads. So what can we do as fathers and a few mothers? Yeah, of course. What can we do to fix this because our Deen is not just about the masjid. Our Deen is not just about our worship to Allah subhana wa Tada. As you know, Monet, as you know when he was here, he mentioned that one of the things that will be specifically asked and particularly the Father's will be about how we raised our family. But even if you will
hamdulillah so you suit your own, you know yourself you made yourself you fast you gave all the hakala deserves in your personal capacity. You earn that money, but you and I we failed as parents
As husbands as fathers, then that's going to be a problem for us. And one of the reasons you find in pseudo wellness is you may have a remote woman, he will be he will be sorry, but your money, the Alesis, in that day, you'll find the father running away from his children. Why? Because the children will be the ones that will be the reason why intergender he was a good man, but it was a bad father. And so when that is the will, that is going to be the complication of the Deaf karma. So this is one of those emails which we have to, we have to get right. And from study after study, it mentions that good parenting in the formative years, if we can, you know, apply ourselves and be
good dads and moms, when our kids are still young, before they become callous, really, we can inculcate in them good lessons that the rest of their life will bring about success will bring about success. And Allah subhana wa, tada blesses the children through the parents, if parents are good, Allah Subhana, WA, tada will grant them success in the dunya. And in the era in ways they cannot experience this past week had a lot of conversations about people
talking, you know, they listen to the lecture, and they will say, you know, it struck a chord, because I have I have you ever father, or grandfather, someone who passed away, and you only appreciate a good parent, when you become a parent, you realize how difficult it is, or when your parents are no longer the to ask them for assistance to ask them for guidance. Only then you realize, you know, what a big impact your father, your mother, your grandfather, your grandparents had in your life, how the lessons they taught you, it wasn't about the material things they gave you. But it was the guidance that didn't make sense at that time. It didn't make sense to you. But
for the rest of your life, you actually benefit from that, or how Subhanallah people tell me, you know, I was in a predicament. And then someone I mentioned that my grandfather is so and so and the door opens panelizer knows that your grandfather, no, no, your grandfather did something for me 2030 years ago. So now I'm going to do something for you. This is how Allah works. This opens the door for the children because the Father, the mother, what they will pious. And again, you don't know how the good deed you do today, you might do something good for somebody, and you won't see the benefit in your life. But your kids might benefit 20 years later, your kids might actually have Baraka
because you did something good for someone else. So Allah subhanho wa Taala will either bless you or even an we are more happy, we're happier when Allah actually gives it to our children. Long after we are gone. We take it like one of the things we mentioned this the story of, maybe he didn't have the muscle is Allah looked after those orphans. Because those orphans, the parents, the father took care of a lot, meaning was conscious of a lot. So even when he was gone, a lot of the his children, we will not be able to be there for our kids all the time. And the world we live in our kids, we have to give them over to the dunya dunya is not a safe place. It's a scary place. You and I we can watch
just to that extent and then we have to put them in the hands of Allah subhanaw taala, the best we can do is we look after what is due to Allah and the interests that Allah will look after our children in the end. This is one of the lessons we learned. So then we took a snapshot of some of the one of the super debts of the Quran, and we sell them lead when we look at the Quran. When we talk about the MBR we usually talk about them in terms of preaching and teaching to a community building a society, but seldomly do we look at them as fathers and mothers, most of us are not going to be give Dawa in the streets and, you know, be leaders, you know, we shouldn't be trying to lead
us, but more more relevant to you, your old dad's your parents, or children, all of us, our children and all of you may be parents, your parents and for those of you are not your parents might look good on you to be parents. I mean,
we look at the ambia How were they as fathers and mothers? As you know, how are they How did they raise the children in addition to doing all the things that an IV has to do, now worshiping Allah more than normal people being in charge of a community, how did they make time for family and how you know, what do you got? What kind of relationships do they have with the children? So we spoke about Nabi Yaqoob. Last week, and Elisa salon and we mentioned some other super fathers and mothers, as mentioned in the Quran, and lessons we learn from them. Today, we begin with NaVi Ibrahim NaVi Ibrahim alayhis salaam. He had two wives and two families, one in Palestine, and one in Makkah. And
it's complicated, it's complicated today. It was complicated back then, of course, the MBA, something to understand about the MBA, who they marry, when they get married, how they should interact. They don't have a choice in this matter. Allah subhana wa tada commands them even the personal life is not in the hands. So Allah subhana wa tada blessed that we brought him with two wives and two sons from the different wives, and from those two sons, great nations would come the bunnies are in from the one from the VSAC
And the Arabs and Avi Mohammed Al Salam from Nevis marine nonobese Marine was in Makkah, he didn't get to spend much time with his dead. So some of us, we work, and some of us, I even know some people in the Jamaat, for some time of the year, they're not at home to three months, because they have to work, you have to search for your risk. But if your obligation as a dead is you have to first make sure that this food on the table is a roof over your head. And to search for your music might take you physically away from your kids, you might work extensive hours, and you can't spend the quality time as you would like. Now people are humans the same. He's not he's not a to seen
obese man, he'll grow up each and every day of his life. But yet he was an amazing father. And you can see the byproduct, the kind of son and relationship they had. One of the things that we find out about him, the little time that he had with his mind was quality time. That that moments he had with his son, he made it he made about an obese man. So this time for dour, this time for soda and when you make that soda, you know when we come for soda, we understand this is exclusively to Allah now the shock must close. Now the work must leave now the cricket must leave your mind. Everything must leave your mind. This is a lot. Then when you do work, you should be focused on work. Now when you
get to your family, it's daytime, I'm preaching to myself more than anything. I can see my wife pointing the finger Yes, you should take that listen with the cell phone down. That fatwa that masala that the crisis that is going to come the word Christ it will be the tomorrow This is time for your family. And that's what we should do give everyone the Libra in gifts quality time with a big smile, that little moments that he had with him and they did things together father and son moment and what a great father and son moment they did is that they bought the car back together. Navi Brahim got. He does his responsibilities with the Kaabah nonobese. My name is Masha Mr. young
boy. And Abby, but NaVi Brahim says I want to bring my son as well involved I want my son to help me. Well, the Kaaba, we're going to do this together a father and son team, maybe you don't know how to build a cabin with your son, but the treehouse or a project or something, make some quality time with your children. And in fact, the psychologists they say, each child needs to have something unique with the dead. So maybe you have a son, the two of you, your thing is, you watch cricket together, you're at soccer together, your daughter, you play chess with her to give us something special. That's your personal time with that child. If this is what the psychologists say that every
child should feel that with my father or my mom, we had our own quality time together. Sometimes we don't want to share the limelight with our siblings. That was our thing we got to do that. Maybe your thing is we go out for breakfast, you know when the rest of the family sleeping we you take the one child out is that he wakes up early. So we will go out for breakfast, the other one is quite late. So we will do something in the evening whatever it might be. Now before I even use this Alesis what he will provide a meal at what is a married couple.
So Allah says that we know Viva humor is the foundation of the garba. Along with him was his marriage. It was the wife of the young boy, his job was to fix the stones and Ebrahimi standing in the solubles. This is way This must be this is how it's going to be his teaching his son through this. Do it. You know this father and son project to make unique time special time with each child. Each child should have a special bond with a dad. And then as the baby is mine grows up. The business grows up and up. Ebrahim is the greatest man on earth after Mohammed salam, perhaps the greatest creation of a lot of Mohammed souls alum, yet he asks his son for advice. How often do we
ask our kids when we have a problem? When we have an issue? What do you think I should do?
Just think about that for a second. You might have obviously they're not going to solve your work problems. But any issue you have in life, and you actually consult them and say, What do you think I should do in this? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Now v Brahim does this. Ebrahim Allah says, and when he received a winavi smile grew up now since he has gone grown up. He's of a certain age, he's not a child anymore, is a little older is a bit mature. And he even sees in his dream that Allah once is commanding him to sacrifice his mind and soon to be Ebrahim says, funded mother
insisted of each night. What do you think about this? This is a command from Allah. And Ebrahim is asking his son, what do you think I should do? If you were me? What would you do? I'm giving you now maybe Brahim is gonna obey the commandment nonetheless. But just having that discussion with his name, just having that Matura with him is a big deal. It's something amazing. Remember, this is not a junior affair. This from Allah when it comes to Allah, there's no Matura you just accept what Allah commands you to do. Now what about Lissa issues, what should we do? What do you want? There are many areas in
We can actually consult our kids. And as they get older in life, they're going to have their own opinions as they become teenagers that might become very opinionated. 99% of those opinions might be incorrect, invalid, but it's about actually listening to them, asking them what is your opinion, and it's a safe zone, if it's wrong, there's no way you're going to sacrifice me. If you say to his father, no ways This is madness. If that's how he feels, the Navy brain has to reset nebra He must be consulted because it's in his mind, he has to fix it. He has to explain to him my son, Allah will never command us with evil, and Allah will never leave us a look at our history. He's always been
there for us the taste always gonna be the food for us. If our kids don't think the way we want them to, we have to first ask them understand and in addition, if it's wrong, and if Alhamdulillah we've raised them correctly, and to the best of our ability, they'll respond like nobody's manual responded. And this is called a ABA to my Abby's for this year, ABA T. My dear father, my dear father, if allowed to do what Allah has commanded you to do, you will find me in sha Allah Sabine, I will do my best to be patient, I trust you. And I trust Allah subhana wa, Tada. He knew and again, it's amazing. Now Ebrahim is not the day in day out, he's the moments in his life, maybe months
would go by, you wouldn't see is that when he saw him, you're such an amazing father. In those moments that never met you trusted, whatever you say that. I know, you are my hero, whatever, you know, it's vanilla, we all start as the heroes of our kids, my kids are still in that stage, we, they think I can be part of the Avengers. And they're gonna get up and they're gonna realize it doesn't work that way. So our kids grow up seeing us as the heroes, and then suddenly along the line, you know, they don't want to become embarrassed, they don't want us they don't want to be seen what else drop me a doughnut, my friend see you something changes along the way. But we should
continuously they should always know. And usually you, you sort of come back in your later age in life. When you go through when you grow up, you become more mature, you know, really a moment that you still might use whatever I need in life. You guys have been the you've seen it, I didn't fully appreciate it. Now I can understand what you've achieved. So we should have and begin to having this dialogue. What do you think it's not a one way street? The old fathers of maybe the the parents of my pain. And so you might get our grandparents age, it was dance, it was never caught this conversation. It was a one way dialogue, you do what I tell you to do? You don't disturb me, it was
sort of that kind of painting? The MBL not like that. You look at the MBR you see the Masonic instinct of people. They were not like that. They actually spoke to the kids. What do you think we should do? in this matter of a law? What do you think the best course of action is gonna be someone else's, I trust you. And I trust the last panel data, even more than that swana law, even a better example than that isn't to be that would be the Buddha Islam is a king. And like me, King is constantly getting, you know, questions, people coming in coming to him. There's a problem. This one is fighting with that one, my brother, my mother in law, whatever it might be, obviously, he's
getting a lot of factors, a lot of questions. And he needs to give judgment. He's a judge, he has to give judgment. And from a very young age, he asks his son to be Sulaiman young boy, sit with me in the court. And when I give judgment, I want you to sit down and listen. And if you have an opinion, raise that opinion, I also have the king
and a king AB. And he allows his young son who isn't yet an IV yet, why don't you sit here and get involved, maybe you're a family business, get your kids involved. Look at the quality and the skills is only going to come out when you expose them to it. So Allah says, and mentioned Navy, the Navy Sulayman, when they judge concerning the field, when the ship of a people over in it at night, and we will witness analysis and allows witness to the judgment. And we gave the understanding of the case suit to suit a man and to teach them we gave judgment and knowledge. So and to each of them to each of them with two Navy SEAL A man and a B doubt we gave them knowledge, but nobody Sulaiman
understood the case better. So what was the case? Basically, there was a there were two farmers living side by side, the one achieved and the other one had no field crops. And so the sheep of the one farmer went over into the crops and he ate up all the crops of the neighbor's field. So now they come to Episode A man and a B and A B. Now, what is the judge? Look at this, what are we supposed to do? Should I be diluted? Okay, because your sheep completely destroyed the crops of your neighbor. You have to give all your sheep to him, give the sheep to him, right? It's fake. You lost it. So you need to compensate him with your sheep so that he's dead. I have a second opinion. And the Buddha
would say, okay, what's your view? So he says that you're giving the sheep to the farmer. Next year his crops will will revive his crops will grow. Then he will have sheep and the field with this man.
If nothing, rather, he should have the sheep and benefit from the sheep until his crops recover, and when the sheep should go back, and so Allah says NaVi Sulayman understood the case even better, maybe sulaimani judgment was better, he's still young boy. But this is behind a lot of facts that need to be dealt with included him, allowed him to voice it. In fact, the reader already saying that you got it wrong, maybe doubt is what you're doing is correct analysis. This is this was beta. So an amazing thing to think about. We have another example of Navy shoe, I assume that this is an issue I've never be musas father in law, and yet you have a unique situation of an old father, raising
daughters in a very tough society. Raising daughters in a modern society is more complicated. Raising sons is easy. Raising daughters is a bit too, but tricky, because on the one side you need to inculcate in our daughters that modesty that higher that is part of Islam, Islamic tradition, in a very westernized open society. At the same time, they shouldn't limit them in terms of the skills and the confidence. Now be sure he does this is the two daughters. These are old men, they are the ones that must run the family business, because he can't do it. They still have to be modest. They still have to, you know, be ladylike, but they also need to go out and do the job when it comes to
the work so that we know the story. Naveen Nabi Musa, he leaves Egypt and he comes to the town of Medina. And he sees these two girls standing one side and they're waiting for everyone to water the sheep. And then he goes to them and he says, Why you girls waiting out by yourselves. And they said, Look, these farmers, the shepherds are bad guys. If we go and water our sheep, they're gonna touch us. They're gonna make comments. They're gonna brush up against us. So we let them finish the business. When they're done. Then we will walk out sheep and the reason why we doing basically a man's job because our dad is an old man, he can't do this anymore. So we're doing it for him. So
that'll be a slam the kind of chivalrous person he is. He doesn't ask them any questions. He just grabs the sheet from them before they can even say anything. And he waters the ship for them. And then he takes gives it back and they go home. Then after a while, maybe Shoaib invites them to the house. So what do we learn from this long story? Is nabeshima Avery's his daughters when they were when they were asked about when they came to business? When the mother asked him about? What is the story, they're very confident they're very strong. See, these guys are bad guys, and we will we are helping our father. Few minutes later off an hour later, when the situation became more informal.
And they invited me Moosa over for supper. Now Alyssa, she walked shyly. So in the example, in the corporate world, our daughters should have the confidence in school to raise the voice to give their opinions to go forward. When it comes to business and work. Islam doesn't say that they should be so shy and so modest, that they can't voice the concerns in a respectful manner. When it comes to outside of work when it comes to informal relationships. Now, Alice's she walked in to be musasa here, now she comes to shyly basically inviting you for supper. This is now in a more social setting. Nowadays, that who do that we raise, and this is behind Allah is an amazing thing. And it's
a difficult thing to balance, confidence when it counts, but higher and modesty when it counts, you don't have to be modest modesty doesn't mean you have to be meek and mild, the wives are going to be so solemn, with the highest level of higher, Allah has given the wives going to be selling the highest levels of modesty. But when you look at Ayesha, she was someone who's very confident, she was someone that gave speeches to lead an army, that if she heard someone making a mistake in emergency, what you said was wrong. I have a second opinion. modesty doesn't mean that you meek, mild, you can't do anything. And this is the balance. And now visual aid is a good example of this.
And then also often invites NaVi Moosa into the house, and we musona tells his whole life story. Now Vishal, a boss, his daughters, what do you think of this guy? One of them basically says, I like him, this is a murderer. He doesn't have a job. He's a refugee. I like him. I'd like to marry him. And so to be sure, it goes to the mooser and says, What do you think, would you like to work here, and you can marry one of my daughters. And it's a very difficult thing Some of us have done, my daughter's not at that level. But some of you, your daughters are getting the, to have the confidence to choose their own partner, to come to you just having that ability. And this inhibition
is an A B of the MB of Allah, and we're not that level of salary. But now the doctor is coming to him and saying, I like this guy, you know, I want him will you be able to make that proposal on my behalf? have that relationship that when you do this grow up, because they're human beings, they're also going to they also have desires, that dialogue should be open with respect and with modesty.
Time is going one super dead, the sad story, super father. That didn't turn out so well. Nobody knew her. Suddenly we can learn from Lebanon.
Now we know we know spend almost 1000 years who needs people to Islam, and ultimately his people rejected to Allah destroy them. And of those who rejected him was his wife of those who rejected him.
What was his son?
And so we will say, how is nothing new? How are you? Am I giving the new Hani son as an example of our good father son relationship should be what we take from them, you know, he sang rejected him for almost 1000 years, his son was of those who insulted Lebanon, who belittled him who was against him. And when he saw his son in danger would not be the same. And the losses and the ship that sailed through waves that were like mountains of the storm was so big that it was like mountains and the ship was on it. And we never saw his son in the water. And he said to his son, oh, my son, come on board with us and be not have the disbelievers. Now, how quickly are we do we give up on our
kids? How quickly if our kids make mistakes, we say that's it. I'm done. We cut you off. Why don't you chose the wrong partner, you marry the wrong person. You're not doing well in school. And that's it. That's a deal breaker for us. This child did the worst of sins, Schick, he rejected a lot. And he is basically telling everyone My dad is a madman. My dad is the wrong one. You know, he's insulting his father. And now, his father isn't giving up on him 950 years and he still says my son, come with, come with me. You're welcome. Whenever you already come with, you know, even something more controversial. We have the issue of EDM artists, people that either reject the deen and Allah
protect our kids from Allah protect us from that, they turn away. And we have this concept that we cut them off this place and time for shunning. But many times that do inspect what we learn from the shadia, that door of return should never be closed. And we should always let them know that yes, I can't condone what you're doing this lifestyle you're doing, I can't condone it, and I won't be part of it. But I will always be there for you, the minute you want to come back, the door is open for the parents, they should know that we will never give up on them. And this is our relationship with Allah. No matter how many times we sin, how bad life is, Allah is giving us a guarantee, so long as
you still alive, you can always return back no matter how far you stayed. There's always a way home for you, as parents to elicit degree, we should do the same thing. How bad things are in life. And some of our kids made mistakes in life on drugs, wrong decisions. We are just human beings. But that those parents should always say come back. And if nobody knew who do this often Island 50 years, you and I can do that. Yes. Even even to that extent that we knew when even overboard, it's just being a father. It's just being a father, where he says to a lot of the sun had drowned off the senate chosen is yellow, this is my son Niala. Please. So Allah says no, this is not your son. He has
ultimately made the choice. And yes, this also is a Saturday it You and I might be good parents. But at the end of the day, our kids, they will choose their own way. We can only guide to a certain degree, we can only assist them to a certain degree, we can only have that door open for them. Ultimately, the Father, the Son, each one carries their own burdens. No one carries the burden to someone else. Everyone must make that choice. But as long as we are here, we continue to invite our kids they should no no son is too big that we stopped being the parents no suddenly so bad that we cut them off. That is a message that and if swaddle as I said this is an abuse of the MBR law. This
is an abbey of the MB of Allah and he's he did worse than any of your kids have done. And yet that door is always open.
I can't only talk about fathers because the minute you talk too much about one's gender, and this is gender unbiased. We always have to balance it and we are great moms as well in the Quran. And outside of the Quran, great mothers, we'll get to all of them. But it's something interesting to think about
the EU as the as the five highest ambia I mean, you brought him up Musa Mohammed Salah, so of the of the unbeatable database of people. And of those profits. There are five that are very, very special, the five bits of them, and four of the five In fact, it might be all five we don't know nobody knew his parents. When I met him. He didn't have a good father figure. His dad was actually his big opponent. He didn't have a father figure in his life that we Moosa, we don't have his dad and in fact, he grew up in the house of Iran, the worst father figure if you want the worst men that Isa didn't have a father, that will homosassa lamp didn't have a father either grew up an orphan. So
these are the greatest people were really raised by women only. And in our society, more kids grow up in South Africa, just through a single mother than a mother and a father. I say it again, statistically, most children's of Africa being raised by single women. And even in that it's a very difficult job being mum and dad and worrying about both, but even a single mum with all that going against the Kennedys and amazing child can raise an amazing person and we see this from the Quran. You have have the full Imams, the 40 moms, you know Shafi Malibu, hanifa Muhammad Malik, three of the four of them. They were inspired by the mothers
Shafi didn't know his dead father passed away before he was born, even Mohammed, his father passed away two of the Imams. They even had a father, Mr. Malik Rahim Allah, his dad was a Medina Shia. And he's dead. put a lot of pressure on him. A lot of pressure on him and Malik to become a chef. And in my mind, it didn't work. It actually pushed him away. He says, I don't want this Dean stuff, not for me. You want to be a singer, as they say, because it's a beautiful voice. And his his mom that encouraged him and it's quite innovative software. She drinks the sun up in the clothing of the Imams and says, You know what, just go to the madrasa and these are chifley I want you to sit with
you. And if you like it, you can stay if you don't like it, I won't pressurize you. But it was because his mom gave him that, you know, space he needed because he was he was a child that was yet to express himself very strong personality. Mom understood that. And this is what inspired him even more than that Eman behati Rahim Allah subhanaw taala disabled child being raised by single mother didn't give up on him. And we know what it becomes blind as a young boy for the pathway. Mother I mean, imagine a single mother those days no welfare, no those kind of stuff. Having a disabled child blind child and still inspiring that this child didn't grow up to something amazing, never giving up
hope. We'll talk more about the supermoms. Next week inshallah we'll talk about from the Quran and from the Sunnah about single mothers that did great things. But in summary, for our dads for us, you and me, the last two three weeks we spoke about points that we can take inculcate in our life. And just to summarize these 10 points when you and I can do as parents as fathers. Number one what's amazing, every single Nabhi that I've mentioned, you find that they making the visa Korea's making dua before he has a child. Miriam's grandmother will get to know she's breaking the law, you've given me a child, I'm pregnant, this is going to be and she thought was a boy, this boy is going to
become an OB and she's making law This is going to be a good you know someone in your service. Of course it became a goal, but that is the end she said yeah, Allah make dua for this child. And that child's offspring. Now who's the offspring of William Isa? Is this grannies? Do I so powerful that even the grandchildren benefited from it? We shouldn't underestimate the power of
make making to offer your kids your family. part of your life is very special to our robina Habana mean as well. Gina was the reaction akula journaling. Make this part of your daily do as I see that you can make this to an insider photo sorta before the slim loss even in the future. Yes, you can. You can in the front sorta before you say Assalamu alaikum. salaam aleikum? Mr. Joffe time to make dua. And you can so long as it's Arabic, you make the dua in Arabic and this is a Quranic dua robina abdominus, wodgina, Liliana kurata angiogenin, Tina, Mama, all it my children, my wives, my husband, always be the coolest of my eyes, meaning that they only bring happiness to us. And it doesn't be a
moment it used to be the best of people in goodness, so inculcate for your family in your life, don't just only make dua for the dunya make dua for the family. Number two, from all the the all the examples we've shown, some of the MBI had bad kids. But what they gave for the before they asked him for to do this and do that. There was love and prediction. They should they always knew my my father, and I focus on dads because we have a big problem about dads in our country that my dad is he loves me that my dad will always love me. No matter how bad things get, and we argue and we fight, but I should know a child should always know that the Father loves them that the parents love
them. Naturally. The mother instinctively you know, even though mom sometimes he says more than dead, right? Mommy's new. Many guys smile. A lot more from the mom than the dead. But at times we actually feel that's my dad did he love me. This this masculine thing about showing your love is not sometimes encouraged the MB are very open about the love. They open about the love with the children very affectionate towards the children. So be affectionate, especially in those young age those young days, be loving, and even be physically loving with your children without a visa Salaam would kiss his children. You'd carry them it would be like he couldn't resist when you'd see them, you
would just like grab them and kiss them peace, hassle and Hussein and the young children that he was in his household that this show your affection and your love.
Number three be present and give quality time speaking about the Mullah, Imam, the previous amount of this Muslim man money
but to do duplin in the family multiplicity, the new addition to the family and like to know about imams routine is a very busy man had a full time job and in the middle of a Masjid many times we went out and you know doing the things I struggle with the moment we're going to visit people in the houses you know without WhatsApp and emails and those these addresses send me an email autoresponder email
How'd you do that, and then especially for the family, because you won't know, I just know a little bit about it, but how much patience the family must have with someone that's community work. Because there's a lot of things that you must. You're not there when everyone else is at home, you're not there for your own kids. And I wanted to find out how, you know, someone so busy spends time, and it wasn't about quantity didn't get many hours. But each one had 510 20 minutes. You have your discussion each night, it was sick time. You, you tell me about your day we talk. And that's it. And those 20 minutes make more than 20 hours, because it was quality time. It was genuine time about
each one. I know where you are at life. I know what is concerning you, whether it's the youngest one talking about whatever it is in civilians or be whether it's the oldest one talking about, you know, friends and high school things. But I know we each of you are in life, and I can give input in your life. And I can give advice, and I won't judge you, whatever it is that you're doing, I can give advice without judgment. It's very important that quality time with each child. And we sometimes believe that we are the busiest people in the world, right? We always believe without the wife, I'm so busy. You don't know how what it's like at work. It's part of the MBA, made sure they were the
busiest people, but they made sure that everyone felt that quality time. Number four, teach our children.
What's important is being a good person. It's not about ease and a report card. Where there's more focused on the academic results, we measure the success of our kids in terms of the report card, yes, it's important that we encourage them to, to learn and to study. But more important than that is to be good people that if your child is the one that chooses breed with someone that doesn't have even if it doesn't pass in the exam, but he does something like that, then your child really is a special child. And if your child is the one that when someone is being bullied, he stands up to the child being bullied even if they can't pass all the sums on the exam or hamdulillah has blessed you
with a good child. Sometimes we have lost what is important and and and explain to our kids what is life what what really makes what makes you a good person. And they will only learn that through our example. So give teach them through your example of what is good teaching what failure teach about your problems, the NBR shade they know that even shade the soils where the kids may be a cobra me standing The sun is a very difficult thing Allah has put before me to taste. What do you think I should do? She that vulnerability with your kids so that they when they become vulnerable, they will know how to deal with it. Sometimes we need to show the ugliness of the dunya it's real, it's real.
It's out there. We need to talk to them about these difficult conversations especially if in the teenage years. This is the reality of life.
Make them feel special because they also feel they are special. The NBA did this video well. You know, we they may do our
it's amazing how many ambia the sons were ambia
visa Korea nebia.
Ebrahim knobbies Marina visa, the sons were ambia because when they see the Alanna stone over burden, don't put so much weight of expectations on your kids that it breaks them. But also Aspire, you're not going to just be any child, you have the potential to be an A B of the MBA, you have the potential to be one of the only Eveleigh, you have the potential to be hospital, you have the potential to be top of your class. If you focus you can do that. If you don't get there, and you're tired. Well, hamdulillah we don't we always love you. But the reason that you have the potential the NBA did this, why shouldn't you and I do this when it comes to our kids, a spy inspiring them to be
the best. Listen to them, the fears, the concerns, they should always feel safe to tell you. And if you feel and if you especially have a teenage child, and you think Well, my teenage child Tell me about problems in their life. Tell them about the rejection by bullying. Do they feel like they can tell if they can't miss a problem? You should have that dialogue even this evening. discuss what is what's happening in school, our job as parents to advise and correct them if they make mistakes. We can't always only be the friend, you and I have to correct them when they make mistakes with love and affection. The way that ambia corrected. They corrected without judgment. So for me to judge a
law judges, I don't know in your situation. All I can tell you that's not appropriate. empower them, trust them. At times, spot of being like in Abu Dhabi, the example we gave, you can't just lick NaVi Sulaiman city in quotes, but the minute he wants to say some things, you know, keep quiet. What do you know about this? I really love when I see for example, you know organizations, fathers, being the kids, the sons, the daughters, and you sit at this committee meeting. Big old senior Buddhists, Buddhists that I've seen done so many things, highly qualified people, but at the same committee, you have young sister in varsity, very green around the years, but still, they can get around the
years and they still can give an amazingly give input. We should give that platform that Avital sanlam was never skied to give young people opportunity. He in fact got criticized so many times the results are more criticize when you give the flag of the military expedition to youngster Sahaba How can you
Give it to him. He's only 19 How can he be the leader of the army when it came to the Quran? xid we said young men, but in his teens, you will be the custodian of the Quran. We should not feel shy to give our kids empower them. And sometimes behind Allah when we treat them like children, they say children, when when you tell them, okay, here's a budget for you. You decide what we're going to do I leave it to you. Yes, they'll miss up, guaranteed they will miss up, we'll be there. But also they will learn a lot more than us. You know, preaching to them is something in leadership and and hamdulillah the masjid for example, something that we we see we see the benefit, I'm telling you,
I've seen the benefit. We've had many years of hunger, senior people doing good things in the masjid. But once we had few youngsters on board, we can see a big jump forward in many, many areas. That energy, that idea is something that we don't have. And I'm not speaking like an old person that is phenomenal.
So don't be shy to give your kids
empower them to make choices. be there for them when they mess up. Don't judge them. And I said at the end like be like never you know, never give up. No matter if your relationship right now some of you might even have strange relationships. You're not speaking to your kids. Be like no be no pick up the phone. So you know when I'm with you that I will always be your dad. No matter what you did that I love you. Come over let's do. You're always welcome back on the ark. No matter how bad things are. The Ark is always open for you. Allah bless you, bless me, bless our children, Allah grant them to grow up to be better than us around them to be successful, wonderful people in this dunya and the
era. Just a few announcements. The class continues on Monday, the caliphate will end with the death of a
senior woman on the line. This Monday in sha Allah. And as soon as we can we'll send out a back to basics any questions concerns with permanent gmail.com so much