Muhammad West – The Etiquette of Disagreement – Episode 02

			shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala
COVID mursaleen Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam
as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
		

			operation to Allah subhanho wa Taala the Most Gracious the most kind, we should have Allah Allah in
the lobby a witness that none has the right to be worshipped besides Allah subhanaw taala and we
send our greetings and salutations, dear beloved Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, to his pious and
pure family to his companions and all those who follow us soon until the end of time, we make dua to
Allah and this worked of Juma to keep us state false and the sooner maybe Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam
to follow in his example, to God that Allah subhanaw taala blessed us to walk in his footsteps in
this dunya and maybe be resurrected on his side on the day of karma. Allah forgive us for the
		

			shortcomings that we have done since last week. The sins that we've made my love forgive us. mela
guide us that next week, we better than this week that has come eleganza jumaan be a light for us. I
mean,
		

			when hamdulillah today we continue with our series we start we started last week on the etiquettes
of fdlr disagreement. And we say that this is a major problem within the oma. We have seen it
globally, Muslims fighting Muslims, Muslims killing Muslims, our differences have become to such a
level that we are now killing one another. Well, we've been doing so for a long time. And we see
that if you look at so many Muslim countries, this war, most of the times, it's Muslims killing
Muslims, we have gone our differences have become so extreme. We've become so extreme in our
differences, that we've killed one another. And we said we see these differences here, filtering
		

			into our community in Cape Town. And in South Africa. We are tiny Muslim minority 2% of the
population, yet we find much is not able to stand together, communities are able to stand together
families not able to stand together. So this is a sickness, a disease, which we need to address.
It's something in our oma, we need to address. We were speaking about some of the ad content in this
series. I hope with time maybe after 567 weeks of having a base. We'd like to get into the the
details as to issues like mo lewd versus Suna. Is this how do we resolve this kind of difference?
How do we get through differences like modernism and traditional Islam, Shiism Sunni is the taper
		

			code, how do we get to these controversial issues. And usually, we want to jump to those
controversial issues without having a grounded foundation. And so therefore the next couple of
weeks, we're going to talk about basics, learn about conflict resolution, why we fight in our
personal capacity, before we get to those very controversial debates in sha Allah. So that's where
we building up to in the series. Last week was just basically an introduction and a confirmation
that this is a problem that we need to address. We said we're going to start at look at different
types of disagreements. Firstly, we're going to look at personal disagreements from a personal human
		

			capacity. Why do we have conflict in our life? Why do we argue with one another? Why do we argue
with one another, it alone made us such that we are a creature that needs to have social
interaction, one of the punishment one of the ways in which you know criminals are punished, they
put them in solitary confinement. So we need to interact with other human beings, otherwise, we
don't function. And the person that wants to be on his own isolated, we said something wrong with
that person who lives all on his own. Right? So it's just normal that humans will, Allah made us
like that. And one of the meaning of insan ins is that we need to interact with fellow human beings.
		

			And that interaction is good, and it brings happiness. But of course, there is a downside in that we
have conflict and disagreement. So we're going to discuss the personal disagreements that we have
this week, and we'll conclude with that inshallah. Next week, we'll look at the very interesting
discussion between family dynamics, we can't choose the people the siblings were born to, and
medical discord, our spouses, husband and wife, perhaps the biggest debate the battles that you have
in your life, the person you fight with the most is the one that you sleep next to every night.
That's the reality of life. We'll also talk about friends, those are people we can actually choose.
		

			And very important, the bond between friends, we'll look at work disagreements, how do we interact
within the work environment, then we will move on to the hot stuff of religious disagreement? Why
can't we as the orlimar sit together and solve our problems? Why is it religion that should bring us
together at times is the cause that divides us, we'll get to that inshallah in weeks to come. So we
sit from a personal level,
		

			religion aside, the things that cause people to fight the things that cause nations to go to war,
most of the time, number one reason we say from a psychological reason is competition for resources,
the dounia, the dounia, when we put in value, the dounia above another human being, when it becomes
easy for us to cheat that person, to undercut that person to even kill that person for resources.
And this is the number one cause the number one cause for conflict in this world. You know, people
		

			tell you, you find this this philosophy that if there was no religion, we wouldn't have conflict,
that religion is the cause of so many wars and bloodshed and narrow mindedness we say, what what
religious reason was there for World War One, World War Two, the dropping of a nuclear bomb on
Japan, two of them nothing to do with religion, it's got to do with the resources, it's got to do
with wealth, it's got to do with power, the dounia the joys of the dunya. And that is if a person
leaves, this tumor could burn. And if you just take one message, that I value, a person, another
human being above my own selfish interests, life will be better. And in fact, many of our problems
		

			even with amongst, in a religious framework, it's not the religious debate. That's the problem. It's
because I want to have more fame. I want more likes on my Facebook page. I want more followers, more
more leads. It's a dunia selfish reason that actually results in religious differences. That's
something that's very important, as the Prophet peace be upon him said, and we said, this hadith and
a very profound Hadith that you find his body and Muslim, we remind ourselves, the Prophet says, I'm
not scared that you will be poor. I'm not scared that you will starve and you will go through all of
that you won't be able to do to even meet your needs. Poverty doesn't worry me, the property's
		

			economies on mine, if we all die poor people, it's not scared about that. But he says, I'm scared
that you're my alma you will be given wealth, you will be given the dunia the world, you'll be given
the wealth of this world, just as it was given to you given to those nations before us. And then
what would happen, now you begin to compete for more, you begin to fight with one another for more
of this dunya. And that will this competition will result in you being destroyed as it destroyed the
people in the past.
		

			That's the dangerous thing that we are divided about around money and a Muslim, a Muslim never ever
harm someone else. Over dounia you never break a relationship over dunya if there's any person in
your life, you don't speak to him. And the cause of that issue is some dunia gain, something he took
from you or he money wise or some personal, not a religious reason, not a principal reason. It's
purely a selfish reason. And that is not right. those differences we should make clean, we should.
So those things out in the dunya those are the things that are the person is far more valuable, the
relationship is far more valuable in the dunya thing that you've lost out. So competition of
		

			resources we discussed this last week. This week, we're going to talk about other reasons why we are
different, we have differences is because we're created differently. And we say this is the son of
Allah, Allah created us differently, physically on the outside differently. And on the inside,
mentally, this, our personalities are different. I'm not going into psychology too deep, but you
find psychologists will say that they are about about four or five to about 15 different types of
personalities, that different people will live and experience things differently. You will, you will
interact and you will see the world differently. And Allah subhanho wa Taala affirms in the Quran,
		

			that all mankind indeed we created you from, ultimately you came from one Father, one mother, but
then we made you into diverse people and tribes, we may do black and white and Indian and Malay and
all these things Allah says I did that. This is part of Allah's plan, that you may know one another,
what is alarmingly tada that you might be different from each other, that you might be distinct from
each other, that you will have different cuisines that you will have different cultures, you'll have
different social habits. But ultimately, who is the best, we shouldn't compete, our culture
shouldn't compete and conflict. The one with the most taqwa the one who's based on the inside is
		

			what counts the outside organism, look at the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts.
		

			And from a deeper we know, we're not just the fruit on the outside, we as human beings, our
intellect is something very unique. And we said this last week, another profound Hadith, that tells
us there will be reasons why we disagree. The Prophet said, some of us a lamb, that souls are like
soldiers were like armies, they recognize those souls that are similar to them. And therefore they
get along with each other. And then there are those who they don't, they don't have similarities on
the inside, this is an internal thing. So not only that, you recognize someone that looks like you,
intellectually you, but on the inside, you are similar. So you get along, and on the outside on the
		

			inside, you might be different from this person. So the two of you are never ever really going to
get along. You know that there are people you could just meet for half an hour. And it's like you
said, I've known this guy for years. And there's someone else who you interact daily and you said,
you know, the two of us, we just don't get along. Whenever there's an issue. It becomes a big thing.
Me and this guy. We just don't get don't get along. Why is it like that we we, but he's he's not a
bad person. I'm not a bad person, but it just we seem to knock him
		

			All the time. So the question is, and it's it goes even deeper than this, that as you grow up,
psychology will tell you, as you grow up your mind, your Outlook, the way you see the world is
different. Not right or wrong, but different. So and I give this example you put someone on
lionshead right on top of lions eat, and they have a look at Cape Town. And you ask this foreigner,
describe Cape Town, what you saw, it's a beautiful city. It's a wealthy city. You know, it looks
clean and organized and positive, only good. You put someone on the top of doublespeak maybe, and
you look at the Cape flats describe Capetown, very different picture. Now the who's right and who's
		

			wrong? Both are right. Both are telling you from the perspective how they see the world. You take
someone who's gone to as a good education, who comes from a financially well background, who comes
from a very comfortable life. What do you think his view is going to be on land expropriation,
versus someone who grew up in a squatter camp, we didn't get to go to school. Right? automatically
the way you see the world, the way you're going to stand? When it gets to an argument I said, We
building up to when we get to the argument, why do some people stand on the side of the fence? Why
do people stand on that side of the fence? It's because they were brought up differently. They have
		

			different values, they have different rules, they have different how upbringing so what the end of
the day as you grew up, this divide this canyon, this huge differences ocean between the two of you
have developed? Can we ever bridge that gap? How do we bridge this gap? That's the question. We will
never ever be the same. Allow me The sooner you have two people even they are born from the same
mother. They're identical twins, same house, same class, same school, the same parents, but even on
the on the inside, they're different, they will have different views and different ways of thinking.
How do we get beyond that. And that's why in Islam from a Muslim and Islamic perspective, a lot of a
		

			for dictated that they must be an adult, that there is a way we socialize and interact with our
fellow human beings that is acceptable. We see something that's not something new. You all come from
different backgrounds. But when you go to work, you know that there are certain things there's a
company policy, to make everyone act in a similar kind of way that will prevent us from arguing with
one another. Islam does something similar, Islam puts down a set of rules and adapt how you interact
with fellow human beings because you're different, because certain things are automatically going to
trigger an argument. So Allah has made it such that these a mutual level of respect that humans
		

			have, even for the one that looks the friendly to you, even from the one that is thinks differently
to you. So in that light, and I'm going to put these guidelines of a dub, if you're in a conflict,
if I'm in a conflict, we should remember some of these points. And when we get to discussions like
molad, when we get to discussions like bidda, we should apply these rules. Sometimes we have lovely
etiquettes, of how to interact in terms of when a husband and wife differs. But when it comes to the
dean, we forget about all these things. That's the problem. So as I say this stuff is not new. It's
not revolutionary, but we seem to forget that when we talk about our religious differences. So how
		

			do we get along? How does Islam? What does Islam say in how we should resolve conflict and overcome
our differences?
		

			Number one, actually, before even knowledge, one step before that we should update the slides is we
should actually look at the NEA. Everything begins with the NEA. So you are about to go into an
argument at work in marriage. On some social thing. You got some person you've got beef with before
you actually engage. Islam always says chick unir. What are you all doing? Why are you arguing? What
is the reason? What do you want from this?
		

			am I acting in the best interest of taqwa? am I acting fairly justly? You need to ask yourself that,
what do I want to achieve from this argument? Why do I want to win this argument? Why is it so
important that I win? And he says the right to is wrong? So then when you start looking? I hate this
guy simply because he supports a different soccer team. When you realize this is a stupid argument.
I shouldn't hate this person over there. Once you have that internal discussion in your mind. Why is
it so important I need to get for you to get further in this isn't really an issue. Check your near
check your internal reasoning. If you if you conclude now that no this is a valid argument. This is
		

			a valid difference. We need to get into this fight. Now we need to ask ourselves what is the reason
we are fighting? Why are we fighting over it? What is the cause of the division? Over the past
couple of weeks as usual? You know Is your mom you have marital and we'll talk about marital discord
maybe next week or so. We we get couples that come here and they'll tell you about their worst
arguments. We things got out of hand words. We're seeing
		

			Maybe even there was some physical contact, they'll tell you when so bad. And I promise you, I asked
them, What were you arguing about that resulted in this confrontation? They will say, I don't
remember what we what was the reason we all get to how the argument started. I don't know. I just
know how it escalated. And that's sometimes what happens, you find yourself in a huge debate, you
find yourself very heated with somebody. And you ask now, why are you so upset with this person?
What is the cause of it? And you realize you don't even know why. So you very hot when it comes to
the cape accord, Pro, the cape or code against the cape or quote, pro Shia, anti Shia, whatever it
		

			might be. But do you even know what the issues are about? Have you even read this document? Do you
even know why there's a disagreement?
		

			No. So it's emotion, without knowledge. And that's why the next step is, and Subhan. Allah, Allah
teaches us this, every time we have a problem, the next step of the unia is knowledge. If you don't
have knowledge on the issue, then you have to remain silent on it. You should not have an opinion on
this with the dean teaches us. If you you cannot get upset and angry and worked up and emotional
about the issue that you don't understand. So ask yourself this question. And it's a very good idea.
If you find yourself in some conflict,
		

			to be able to, you need to explain to the Imam. And that's why people come to an Imam, when they sit
down. And actually they mounted on what is the problem. And now they start explaining amount, these
are the issues, they realize, it's not really an issue, I'm just upset, emotionally, I'm upset,
there isn't really a difference that we have nothing to fix. I'm just, I'm just feeling upset, we
have just gotten to a point where we're angry with one another. So you need to be able to enter as
an exercise. If you're in a conflict, try to write down to yourself, the reason why I'm upset the
reason why there's an argument, my view is this. He's tried to document why. And if you can't do
		

			that, understand that this is only emotional. Understand your conflict is purely emotional. If you
now have an opinion, it's a genuine difference is a real problem. Here, you've got one view, she's
got a different view, he's got a different view. And there's a confrontation here.
		

			Try to understand, and again, if I apply this to maybe Obama, prior to marriage, it makes more sense
when we give examples, try to listen to the other side. So you see things like we give the example
of Cape Town, the the doublespeak versus lionshead. Understand that what you're seeing is real, and
your view and your perspective is correct. But don't ever assume that that person doesn't have
equally good points. Even if that person is wrong, they might still have valid points, they might
still have something which is right. And therefore, in arguments, one of the biggest thing that we
need to do is speak less and listen more. Listen, genuinely to understand. Why is this person Why
		

			does this person not agree with me? I mean, I'm an intellectual, smart person, I've made this choice
based on the evidence, how can you not agree with me?
		

			So for example, if I say, I'm just hypothetically, now that eat and we'll talk each other about it,
it must be with maca. I've made that decision. Logically, if I've done so logically with evidence,
then I should assume that equally, someone with knowledge and ACO should have come to the same
conclusion. Why don't you come to the same conclusion? Maybe he's got some evidence I don't know
about. So now genuinely listen to the person to explain the side of the story, to understand what
the reasoning is not just to respond, and never judge. This is one of the big problems, we will
really come in and we listen with a preconceived notion. Now the only reason why he sees this is
		

			because he's, he is doing it for fame, or he's doing it for money. So you really feel this person is
not genuine, in his view. Don't do that. Don't judge without any bias. Listen, without any bias,
listen fairly. So now you apply this with your wife with your husband. The only reason my wife is
saying this is because he's a she's got a valid argument. So now listen. And once you've gotten to
understand the points of view, and this is beautiful, whenever we discuss meta issues, for example,
Shafi hanafy, when you listen to the debate, you realize Pinilla, both sides have very strong, you
might even change your view, you are so strong and strict on your view, when you listen to the other
		

			side, you realize they actually have better opinions, I might, I might have to become a hanafy. Now,
for example, right? You might realize that so we don't tend to listen. And many of our arguments, as
we said, is out of General Ignorance. Most of the arguments that we have is out of ignorance.
		

			So once you've now had all the arguments on the table, you know, this is why we fighting. This is
the problem, my argument my views are
		

			have us try to work on a common ground, try to say There must be a way must be a solution. So Allah
subhanho wa Taala sees this beautiful the Quran, Allah says, say to the advocate app. Yes, we have
used, we have major differences. You said a lesson. You said Allah Subhana Allah Jesus Allah, right.
Let's not start from where we differ. Let's go all the way back to we were working together we were
on the same path, then we got divided. Let's get back to that point start from the point of
commonality. We are all working to the same thing. Where did we go wrong? So unless you say to the
100 get up the ILO in a caliphate in Sabah in Benin avena Let's come back to a common view that we
		

			both agree on that these only one Allah we both agree on that Jews agree on that Muslims agree on
that even induce agree on that. So we all believe this one creator. So let's start from that point.
Again, when you find yourself in conflict with somebody, where do we we will we were walking
together? When did we get separated? So let's go back to that thing we can agree on for a night. We
always say in Allah Swiss tells us come back to the Quran and Sunnah. So we all agree on Quran and
Sunnah. This is what we agree on. So let's go back to that foundational point. And from there we now
look okay, now now is the problem. Oh, this ayah you interpret differently that I you understand
		

			differently? Now we discuss that issue. That's how Allah is encouraging us to solve a problem, start
from a point of common ground before you get to a point of disagreement, then Islam is very, very
clear on the ethics of dialogue.
		

			How do you debate? How do you discuss how do you argue with a Muslim and a non Muslim with a Muslim
and a Muslim between a husband and a wife? Our problem is not so much that our differences are very
complicated. She has so many issues, I've been there for over 1000 years,
		

			Buddha molar sooner, this has been more than 1000 years, these issues are not new. Why all of a
sudden have they become are we becoming so aggressive, violent, even killing one another in these
debates, why the debates have always been the the issues have always been the there are solutions to
these issues. There are communities that live with these issues and get along with one another, and
communities that kill each other over those issues. Why? Because the way in which we interact, how
we express our differences is without any other. We throw around names, Salafi Wahhabi Sufi,
whatever it might be she she has sympathizer modernist whatever. We've not argued the issue at all.
		

			But we've thrown titles and name quoting Allah says in the Quran, Surah Surah. And don't give each
other bad labels. Don't give each other bad nicknames. As they say, I mean, lots of your suppose
people play the ball, not the man. That's what we end up doing. We attack the person, we attack the
person, but the personality of our opponent, we see this person as an enemy, and of the issue.
		

			Something very thing that you learn a lot from now the sooner but what you learn in these corporate
courses, when you and we teach our in our marriage classes, when you want to have an argument, don't
say, you, you don't, you don't clean the house. We you don't spend time with me. or others say I I
feel that you don't clean the house. I feel like you don't give me enough attention. Now you can't
be blamed. So someone's accusing me of not loving you, or you're accusing me of not following the
sooner. But if you say I feel like you don't, then you can't blame me for how I feel. I just feel
that well. That's my perspective. So it's a simple way of giving a dialogue. So don't be accusatory
		

			in your, in your way of speech in your argument. I know when you're angry, then if you can just
avoid swinging it's a big plus right? Even saying I and I feel and being it requires us to bring
down our emotions.
		

			SubhanAllah we spoke the CW musas discussion the next time you're in a conflict and you so worked up
and this guy is this person is has an ego or this person is an idiot or whatever it is in your mind
how bad this person is. Remember, when a law simply Moosa to speak to fit around. What does Allah
say to be Musa and speak to him? lane softly, gently speak to him very, very nicely, not even
respectfully. Allah says speak to him softly. Now Moosa is the greatest man
		

			on earth at that point in time alone is the worst person that ever lived. When you are in a
confrontation, I promise you, you are not better than Musa you will never be better than Moosa. I
will not be to be your mom. Your chef will not be more learned than Moosa and your opponent will
it's your wife, your company, your opponent,
		

			the other Imam, your mother in law, she's not worse than Pharaoh. Well, I they're not worse than
Pharaoh and in your mind, maybe that's they wasn't hero but they're not. So if Moosa Elisa Lam,
let's give her a soft talking to
		

			Then by all rights you need to give this other person and even softer talking.
		

			When we when we discuss our issues we need to ask every statement we make, was this to answer the
problem, or was this mean to hurt? When and again, this comes back to our medical arguments, you'd
find when the when when there's a response in an argument, it was purely done to hurt that person.
Because you arguing with me on this, I need to respond to hurt you.
		

			And that's when we when we do this in a personal capacity, it's bad. But when we do that, for this
in the name of Islam, it's very, very bad when we slander the man, because we differ on an Islamic
principle. Now we slowly his character, we slowly his intention, we insult him. This is why no, this
is when communities get divided. always understand that is a route and the Prophet peace of mind
taught us this is a way we can overcome our differences, to have a win win solution, everyone must
get a deal. Allah Subhana Allah says, We have 15 we could mean this was some of them were still a
place in Ghana, there is a place in Ghana for the Moto Fifi, who's the Moto fifth, the one, when he
		

			is in the pound seat, when he's in charge, he takes his food you he doesn't speak in business terms.
And in his relationships, he takes his full whack. But when it's the other way around, is always
deficient. And he insults his opponents. that these are special kind of punishment for the person
who is always trying to be one up on someone else. And he's not willing to make concessions the
other way our Dean is about, we don't compromise on principles. But when it comes to areas we can
compromise, always compromise even if you must give up your own hack for the sake of cohesion. This
is what our Dean teaches us always understand that is a way to move forward in a win win. Sometimes
		

			we can discuss this in detail. And therefore Allah allows us to make Matura sometimes a good way is
to speak to outside an outside party. And once that person, because you sometimes can't get beyond
your emotion, you're so caught up in the debate, you're so become so angry, if I now change my
stance, I will look weak. If I now give him a What is he gonna think of me? Right? So you need to
sometimes ask a third party if you can't discuss your issues to a third party, then perhaps the
problems are just emotional and not not genuine. If you come to a debate at the end of the debate,
and if you are victorious in that debate, never ever belittle the other person. And if you are
		

			wrong, be man enough to say I'm wrong. promises the strong person is not the person that has strong
muscles is the person who's able to control his anger, his emotions, we have to be able you will
always I will be wrong, you will be wrong. Every single person will be wrong sometime in their life.
Be man enough to say I apologize, I made a mistake I was wrong. And when you are right, understand
that today you were right, tomorrow's you tend to lose. So be gracious in your arguments. Be
gracious when you win. At the end of the day, you know, understand this things and let past issues
go by don't carry your baggage. There's a lot in marriage as well. But in terms of every time you
		

			went through a debate, they did not define this person. So now this person in religion, for example,
you disagree on him, you know, not going to go into more whatever it might be.
		

			And you paint him with that brush. Okay, he's a bit dirty. Okay, he's a hobby. Okay, he's a Shia
sympathizer. Okay, whatever it might be. But you forgot all the other good things that this person
does.
		

			Actually, as Shakespeare says, When a person that is beautiful, they have one blemish, this person
is like nine, like 10 out of 10. But they just got one little bad spot, then you will say, what,
what girl is that? Oh, that's Ayesha with the spot, but you forgot all the beautiful qualities of
this person. That's what we do. We bring all the past baggage and we paint the person with the worst
of them. And we also handler we know if our worst must come out. And we are painted with that thing.
The people, the people that we made the things we've looked at the Xena, we've made all our sins of
the past past 50 years and we must be painted with it somehow and none of us would even want to
		

			leave our homes lit the past issues the past wrongs go give up. Allah subhana wa Tada. You don't as
Allah says to abubaker in the Quran, do you not want Allah to forgive you Monday you don't want
Allah to bring those things up in the devgamm so let go of anyone who has wronged you personal
issues let it go. It was not a principal issue is that there's not a purpose of hockey right or
wrong. They don't have been leaving. They go by start a new we've debated we all good. We even got
to a first fight yesterday on the rugby field. Tomorrow we start new The game is over. That's how
that's how a believer works. And we should look beyond this very important thing we should be look
		

			beyond the incident. Sometimes we can win the battle but lose the war. So I tell the brother, for
example. You can win this debate. I can say yes, it's your husband that she doesn't have to visit
		

			The family if you if you want to be by the book, you want to be technical, but you're gonna lose
your wife. She's not gonna love you. What do you want? Do you want to win the battle? You want to
save your marriage? What do you want? You want to have that 10,000 Rand or you're gonna lose your
friendship over that. What's more important? Do you want to win the debate? We want to split the
German off. We know that student visa a man with two ladies each study system came and they said
this is my child. So now visa layman said no problem. I'll make this fee to women arguing This is my
child. So I'll cut the child in half. And both of you can have half of it. Right? We know the story.
		

			Who am I? Right? So the mother, the two mothers said, No, that's fine. You can have the child in the
lobby. Suleiman understood you were the real mother. So and we understand that we should aim and not
being silly is saying, well, we can divide it and then it's a lose lose situation. Yes, it's equal.
But it's a lose lose situation. So when everyone knows I understand that analogy. But why is it so
easy for us to say, Well, if we don't agree on this issue, we're going to divide the committee,
we're going to divide the masjid, we're going to build our own budget. It's like we're killing the
child in half meaning both sides lose, nobody wins. Look beyond the debate. We know in the Sharia,
		

			for example, you're allowed to lie which is a major sin, to bring reconciliation. Similarly, there
are truths that we say that bring Discord. They are to serve the benefit. I'm telling the truth, I'm
just saying XYZ. But understand that that truth can actually cause harm. We understand our marriage.
You know, you don't tell your wife, you know, you look XYZ. You should also look fat in this thing.
You don't tell the truth the
		

			you don't tell the truth. The your husband goes both ways. Asthma says Do I look fat in this wife
knows you don't tell the truth, the right heart the right thing is not to tell the truth. Similarly,
when we cause discord, and someone might say but I am right on this issue. Yes, you are right,
brother. Yes, you your your evidence is stronger. Yes, you are more correct. But the replica, the
repercussions of this thing will bring harm to everyone else. The best example is my husband, Roger
lon. He was better than our Dylan. Use beta. He was with the hackers with him. But he understood
that unity was even better than me being the halifa. That is the bigger picture. And sometimes we
		

			don't understand this. The bigger picture must always be kept integral. So don't lose focus on the
ultimate objective of your relationship, your marriage, your relationship with your family, your
friends, your family, your relationship at work, your relationship in terms of an email, list, not
one argument who's bigger harm.
		

			And this and we know these are this is from conflict resolution, and it comes back to what the
prophets of Salaam says. So Allah, the prophet Petia tells us so whenever you win a conflict, listen
to the words of Rasulullah salam,
		

			he tells us something. So tomorrow, you're gonna argue with your wife, your mother, your father,
your employees, your manager, your your fellow colleagues, whatever it might be. The Prophet says
shut up tell you something that is even better, when fasting sooner fasting, and sooner Sala and
soon a charity. A man who fasts everyday and he makes the hygiene everyday and he spends millions in
challenge the dispenser value of Allah. Allah says, a prophet says I'll tell you better than that.
So Salim said yes, what can be better than that? reconciling in a case of discord? For the discord
is the shaver, the one that destroys religious commitment? The people that bring Islam are the
		

			people that mediate that come together, we sit together, these people are even more holier in the
sight of Allah than the man who's making magic and fasting shows you what does Allah love more, the
sooner ibadah or being a good human being here, Allah saying, what is the priority? So sometimes you
in a debate, you can you can tell yourself, I can win this debate and bring discord, or I can lose
the debate and bring unity. Remember this, don't do it for the sake of your wife or your mother, or
your friend, do it for the sake of Allah. Because I want a lot to love me. That's why I'm doing it
not for you for the sake of Allah. The prophet SAW Selim says he's our ally. And we said this who
		

			seeks to record it's not lying, when you say a word, even if it's not true, but to bring people
together. And as we said, if you have any beef with anyone in your life right now, think of the
person that you hate the most in your life, right? If it's not for the sake of the dean or a proper
reason, right, then it's not permissible. The Prophet says it is not permissible for a Muslim to
forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them not looking at one not speaking to one
another. And the beta one is the one who comes to the salon First, if there's anyone in your life,
it's a Muslim, that you're not speaking to, purely for the sake of some dunya reason. And after Juma
		

			for the sake of Allah says Allah can elevate you pick up the phone and says, I just wanna say
Mubarak to you Salaam Alaikum. You know, we should have a cup of coffee, whatever it might be. Do it
for the sake Well, that is better than yours of the 100 years of fasting. The gates of Paradise the
prophecies are open on Mondays and Thursdays and everyone who does not come a cheat liquid Allah is
given forgiveness Allah forgives you.
		

			Those days Mondays. That's where you're forced, except a man who has has had an argument with his
fellow brother. It is said and when they about to be forgiven, Allah says wait for these two to
reconcile until they reconcile Allah Farah is mercy does not befall on them. One of the reasons why
almost like this,
		

			we are not getting almost forgiveness because we're not willing to forgive that forgiveness is there
it's hanging until we pick up the phone and see some of
		

			the prophecies, I guarantee you a place in Jenna, for one who gives up arguing, even if he's on the
right, and I guarantee in the place of gender, the middle if you are joking. So the point is that if
even if you are right, even if you are correct, even if the other person is being arrogant, and
being rude, or whatever it might be, but you some are gonna argue with you, then do it for your
house in general. I'm not doing it because I like you, I might still hate you. But I'm doing it for
the sake of my house in general. last advice. The prophet SAW Selim says, Do not be envious of one
another, the good that someone else says Don't be envious. Do not artificially inflate your prices
		

			to compete with one another. Don't hate one another. Don't turn your backs and shun one another, do
not undercut one another in business transaction and be servants of Allah brothers to one another. A
Muslim is a brother to a fellow Muslim. He does not around him. He does not fail him when he has
when the person needs something is needed to support him. He never lies to him. And he does not show
any animosity to him. taqwa is here the Prophet says and he points to his chest three times. Then
the Prophet says these profound words, it is enough of a sin for a person to just have ill feelings,
contempt, withdrawal, it's a sin just to think badly of somebody, one Muslim thinking badly of
		

			another Muslim. And sometimes we do this. When you ask someone, what do you say but automatically,
Shia is arrogant. All the negative things comes in your mind. That's how you understand you don't
think the Marshal of a man who makes five times a day is a believer is give charity fasted Ramadan?
No. So just to have a negative perception of someone is a sin. All of all of a Muslim, everything of
a Muslim, the Prophet Solomon is sacred. Everything of a Muslim is sacred to another Muslim, his
blood, his wealth, his honor, it's sacred in the sight of Allah it's haram to touch or to harm those
things. May Allah subhanho wa Taala reconcile between us, let us to let go these arguments and
		

			difference for the sake of Allah. I mean, next week we'll talk about marital discord and family
discord insha. Allah, just a quick few announcements while one main announcement, so in sha Allah,
Allah clauses here at the masjid on hold for about a month or so until September, but we'd like to
continue having our weekly audio lectures being given via WhatsApp. So we want to start what we call
our elearning. Or what's Islam? What's Islam elearning maybe to 20 minute lectures every week, and
we'd like you to support your assistance to tell us which topics you'd be interested in listening
to, what topics would you want to listen to on your way to work? Whenever you want to be whenever
		

			you want, I don't want to teach something that you're not interested in. So we have a list of seven
topics. You can take down the number and you can see if we talk about through the topics The first
one is about marriage happily ever after. How do you select the spouse? How should you when someone
knocks on your door to give you your daughter's hand in marriage? What must you say yes or no? What
is Annika like what causes medical discord? How do I find a good spouse so that's the topic on
marriage. Second thing bridging the divide on Shiism is a series on she has a what or she has what
also needs Why do we differ What is the reason for that? It's a series on Shiism, the number three
		

			back to basics. We're going to take our normal madrasa fixed up how to make solid how to take
without to go and hedge. We learn basics in madressa. Let's take it further let's look at
differences in math hubs. Back to Basics. Number four, why Islam contemporary issues in the 21st
century? Does Islam still make sense? Does Islam still make sense within evolution? fossils? We have
gender homosexuals, all these things Islam is compatible with the modern world we'll discuss these
controversial questions. Then in celebration of women's month we could have a topic on the the wives
of the Prophet SAW Selim, every one of you must know who the wives of the Prophet of Islam are. Why
		

			because they are your mother's per Allah. And in that series will discuss gender issues, will speak
about why the prophecies are married more than four wives. The Quran says you can only marry for
your Prophet salsola married more than that, what I share nine year old girl when he married her,
what about his slaves that he had? What do we took those kind of very awkward questions will come in
here but it's a story. So that's on the women around the messenger. Topic number six is going to be
Tafseer of surah. Yaseen, choose a mezuzah to recite daily. It's good that you understand those
those things. So the ultimate reminder and then lastly, a journey through the heavens. We're going
		

			to go through space. We'll go through touring Jana Jana will look at life in the barossa for the
date, we look at the world of the jinn, the world of the angels, the signs of piano so we're going
to take you on a journey through the unknown world in the series so one of these so I want to
inshallah, please take down this number. Everyone in the gym, even if you don't have to listen
		

			into it. Even if you're not going to listen to any of it, choose which of the three is your
favorite, you just put the number down 123 and please WhatsApp that for us make us make life easy
for us. Zach Lehane Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh