Muhammad West – Gender Series #3 – How to make your Wife love you

			Hello James Miller, Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala
		

			Sayidina Muhammad Ali Yosef ah Marian My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam as salaam alaikum
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Alhamdulillah below the mean always and forever We begin with praise
Allah subhanaw taala insha Allah Allahu Allah, we have a witness that none has the right of worship
besides Allah subhanaw taala and we send our love to our beloved Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, to
his family and his companions and all those who follow his son until the end of time. That was
panatela blesses to be the son of Debbie Mohamed Salah was a lamp, I mean in this dunya and in the
after amin Al Hamdulillah. Al Hamdulillah. Before we begin just a comment from myself with regards
		

			to the masjid Rommel Islam opening and hamdulillah we hope that the worst of the COVID pandemic here
in Cape Town has passed and we put our last panel dalla grunts to move away from us. And we've seen
a number of the masajid opening up including here in the book up from our side and merging with
Ronald Islam in sha Allah we hope to to have our Masjid open as well, next week, Friday, that will
be Friday, the 11th of September. And while we want to ensure the highest priority for us is to
ensure that our masalas are safe and those who come to the masjid are safe, and that all the
precautions are taken. And therefore inshallah we pray and we ask you for your doors and your
		

			assistance, that we will be in a position to have our next Juma insha Allah in the masjid that we
have Neela Alhamdulillah, then Alhamdulillah we continue with our series around the women in our
life, our sisters, our mothers, females in particular. And we said that this issue of gender is one
that is something that we need to address, especially in South Africa. And even though women's month
is over it is September now we continue to talk about this very important topic. Over the last two
weeks, I think we spoke about the issue of second wives. And then we spoke about Islam in itself.
Last week, we spoke about Islam, the problem, and we looked at Islam as a force for change as a
		

			force in which it really elevated the status of women in one way, one can definitely call Islam, a
feminist religion in the way that he has preserved and Enshrine the rights of women at a time when
she had very little rights or no rights at all in our society. And we therefore ask if Islam is a
force for positive change, then why on the ground? Do we not see this happening? And we need to be
honest and say within our Muslim community, we are not exempted from gender based violence, we are
not exempted from abuse against women and children and to spinal up what is the problem? And before
we go into controversial issues, perhaps one way to look at it, we are all you know as as men, we
		

			look at our interactions with our wives, our interactions with our mothers and sisters and ask is
the way we are interacting? Is it the right way? Are we doing what needs to be done from the Sharia?
Because the problem many times you find the issue we say the problem is not Islam. The problem is
Muslims, don't look at Muslims look at Islam. And this is something that we should we should really
ask individually. Am I doing enough as a father as a husband, as a brother, as a son, towards women
in our life? And can we truly say that a hamdulillah we are free of these issues. So today I want to
interesting topic, we say how to make your wife love you. And you know, we look at the most amazing
		

			of people the prophets also lamp. And many times when he talks about the Navy SEALs him as a role
model. We look at him as a spiritual role model. We try to emulate him insular, we try to fast like
him, we try to make Hajj like him, we try to dress like him grow the beard like him well hamdulillah
we eat with our right hand to follow his sooner. But how many of us have looked at the navitas alum
as a husband and said he is also mine, me and my role model when it comes to the way I treat my
wife, how I you know, interact with her through the good times through the bad times. He is also my
guide in terms of every aspect of my marriage and Subhanallah we need to look at our enemies as well
		

			as the perfect husband and then compare ourselves. How do I how do I compare to Muhammad Sallallahu
wasallam as a husband, and in that way, what you get at the end of it we know when you follow the
suit of Nabisco salam, it is not just to follow it because we do so we do we follow it because it is
good for us in doing it and the author of it will bring us benefit in this life and in the year
after, it will bring us happier marriages. It will make our lives better. It will grant us success
in the dunya. And success in the author of today's topic, a more softer topic is last week was about
heavy. So we look at the Beatles album as a husband and the tips and the advices. We can take from
		

			him as the role model, the professor's alum, you know one of the things that you can find from him
that he was a very giving of His love. He was not shy to express his love in many, many situations,
not just with his wives, but he was someone that showed that he loved the people that he loved. In
fact, it's a hadith a man comes to me so someone says, I love this brother. You know one man saying
I love another man and for brotherly love. And so there'll be some awesome Did you tell him that you
tell him that? And so the man said no, I didn't tell him. So the Prophet instructed him Go and tell
him that abyssal Psalm is asked in front of the Sahaba who would you love the most? And no, no
		

			shyness, no hesitation, he says Asia, I shows the most beloved person to me. And so then obviously,
I'm very open about his love, but more important than expressing it publicly. It was important for
him to make his wives
		

			Know that they were loved. And so some tips for us when we look at taking simple Sooners, like we do
make simple sweeteners in terms of a vida, you know make Taka as before Vijay, you know makes a lot
of Doha samples who knows that give big reward simple Sooners in our marriage, they can bring our
marriage make it happier and closer than original sell lamb love to give his wives nicknames. So
they had Beautiful Names, some of them in fact, they didn't have nice names. And the Adam j Lee
away, they would give girls horrible names. He would change the names to something better, and you'd
still give them nicknames. And we know that Ayesha, for example, her nickname was Homura basically
		

			would mean Rosie because she was free of completion and she would blush and she will become shy and
you turn red. And so he gave me this nickname homie Radha one who goes turns red, we know that when
they would eat nobody so solemn will always she they would only eat from one utensil. And he would
make a point that if she were to drink, not just Ayesha, but all the wives that if she were to drink
from a cup, he would take that cup and he would look away with her lips. And he would put his lips
on that very same spot, that if they were to eat a piece of meat behind Allah, they would share the
same, you know, a piece of meat and he would look away she but and so that he will put his lips on
		

			that same spot. Now this adds just you know, this exaggerated form of love makes the woman feel so
special makes her feel so special. It is as soon as vanilla whenever he says that when he would come
home, he would greet Assalamualaikum and then he would kiss his wives then he would kiss them. And
so for us as we make an effort to what is the do our when I enter the house to do our vows. Make
also that effort what is the sooner when I see my wife to kiss her and to meet her with a smile to
meet her with good words that we use together with her that interveinal salam when you would sit
next to her there's a harbor with maintenance Heidi, the fingers would be intellect every
		

			opportunity that he had you make her feel that I am with you. I am I am special with you. And
Subhanallah even the few times when we have when an abuser Salam was up and about and he was just at
home, relaxing, you know that he's never had free time, everything he did, he was on the job when
even when he was relaxing, oh, he was making Vicar lying down, you would make a point that you need
to be lying next to me. And they will be under one blanket. We said that last week that even when
they were in the menses, the renal salon would make a show that he would hold them that he would put
his head in the laps and he will continue reciting Quran or making Victrola just to show that extra
		

			level of affection verbally and physically and he will express himself to them. The results help
them along with being a newbie along with being focused on piano and ophira and all these very, very
serious issues. He was a person that when you look at his sooner, not just from as a husband, he was
someone that was always positive, optimistic. He had a sense of humor, how many Sahaba would say
when he when we saw him, he was always smiling. He was always he always had a a smile on his lips,
no matter how difficult the situation was, everyone else was panicking. And then we saw somebody
smiling, but of course, never lost himself in terms of very seldom would you find him laughing, you
		

			know, that he's his teeth would show but he would smile. And when he would be with his wives, he
would make a show of being playful with them and entertaining them. Now he's also not understood
that also husband and wives there needs to be moments of of enjoyment. And so the libido salamu tell
jokes and tease them and they will tease him that Ibiza Salah moochie stories, we have the story of
eyeshadow on very long story of, of 11 women and how each one complained about the husbands the
different issues and the mistakes and the faults. You know some of them are are harsh, some of them
are cold. Some of them are useless. The one wife says My husband is so useless. He is like that
		

			camel that has no meat on him to benefit. And not only that, but he's also stuck on a high mountain
that you can't get. He has little meat and what little meat he has, we can't even reach and then
Amazon listens to Ayesha in this, this this talk. And then he asked her and how am I to you and she
says he You are the best of all husbands you are better than any husband could ever be. There we
have a beautiful story where I share with you a lot on how we know that she was a wonderful, most
amazing woman in terms of learning and giving a speech and leading an army and so I know she could
do all these amazing things. But she was not the best when it came to domestic chores, especially
		

			cooking was not her forte and once she prepares a meal for herself with so down one or the other
wives are going to be so solemn. The the meal is such a miss that none of them want to eat. And so I
shall do one being offended but no one is eating my breathing or whatever it was was some kind of
		

			you know, baby, she threw that a handful of it to unto soda. And then I'll be sitting there he's
looking at Ayesha throwing some food at soda. And so there'll be some picks up the plate, he gives
it to soda. Now throw her with some as well. And so they have a bit of a food fight your rasulillah
salsa Lamb has a bit of a food fight. The food probably was not edible. And so the best to make of
this unedible food is to at least have a food fight Subhan Allah and this is your Rasulullah
sallallahu wasallam we know of the story of Nagisa Salam after the battle he's he's with Ayesha and
		

			The army and he tells the army to leave them alone so that they can spend some time in the desert.
And other things they did was they erased, they took a race. And once the first time I share a beat
him. And the second time they did this twice the provinces alum, beta. And we know we said, Surely
the first time when she beat him, that he allowed her to win, there was no way that she actually won
him, but she later but he let her win. And so we can look at these analogies. How many of us, you
know, we take that time, to be friends with our wives to to have a good laugh, to maybe it was
panelo if you know the guys you'd like to play, you know, FIFA Xbox, let your wife play teacher a
		

			little bit you Subhan Allah, I don't need to become too competitive. And if it is later when Subhan
Allah so the softer sides, the Nagisa solemn, he understood part of Islam, part of your duty as a
husband is to make sure that your wife is smiling that she's entertained that she's happy. We know
that when those abyssinians
		

			spear throwers they came to the masjid so you have a group of people, you know, throwing spears and
making tricks. And obviously, the sisters also want to smile just as much as the main one to watch
the sisters want to see an eyeshadow on her she wants to watch. Now we know I show her level of
hijab, Allah has said that the wives of the Prophet Allah are very, very strict. So she cannot be so
in public. And so there'll be some lumps. You also want to watch. She said, Yes, I also want to
watch. And so he said, No, come, you stand behind me, and I will open my cloak so that you know I'm
your shield. And then she said, I placed my cheek against his cheek. And we watched and one
		

			narration mentions how that she was done watching, she was bored of watching. But she kept standing
like that, waiting to see if he will tell us come I show. It's long. Now if we've been standing like
this long, I think they do. But he didn't tell her getting get done. Now it's enough. He waited for
her to say Okay, I'm done. And so and so,
		

			they would leave we know when the Navy salamu. So for example, with his wives, they will do hustle
together It is a sooner to not only to be intimate, but to hustle together. And he was flush with
water, whichever wife it was that he was listening, he was flush with water, they would he would
teach them they would have a bit of a water fight. And so Subhanallah you will find the softer side
in the resource a lamp and this really both the love his wives knew they felt special around him.
What was the reason like at home, many of us had a lot we come home and we think that you know
everything must be done for us as husbands and yes of Allah. You know if the Sharia side note here
		

			the Sharia does not say who must earn the money and who must make the biryani that it is for the
husbands and the wives to decide amongst themselves what works for them, the Sharia puts certain
default rules and Africa is upon the husband. But of course if husband and wife agree to a different
conditions, this is permissible. And so in many households obviously sometimes the man is working
and the women are at home and sometimes you have men and women working and we find that abusers
Allah when he would come home and of course he was the most busiest of me, I shall see Is he was
self sufficient at home. He did not make demands on his family he would if he would go Milk the Cow
		

			he was the the goat himself even wanted some milk that if there was even some a button that was off
his clothes, he would speak it himself and is a beautiful Hadith away, then a resource Allah is
concentrating on stitching, you know he's like, really struggling is because perhaps not his forte.
Now he's also lamb was not the perfect in every I mean, he was not
		

			the best stitcher in the world. So obviously he's struggling to stitch he's not telling her to do
it. And she's looking at me. And she's staring at him smiling as he's sweating because he's
concentrating and he can, you know, he can almost feel someone is staring at me, you know how people
you can feel somebody's looking at me. And so he looks at her. And he sees her with his big smile on
her face and grinning? And she says, and he says to her, are you are you laughing at me? Are you
teasing me? Because I'm not stitching properly? And she just says no, how beautiful you I'm looking
at you. And I'm overwhelmed with love, you know, just looking at you. I'm sitting there
		

			concentrating. And so I share with you a lot on her. She says that he wasn't helpful in with his
family and his duties, and you would spend time with him and you would make them his priority until
the other would come when you would hear the other then he would get up and he would make Salah as
if though as if though he wasn't just speaking spending time with us the minute the alarm came when
everything was done. And the priors Allah subhanaw taala becomes the priority. You know what is
beautiful about the Navy so seldom Alhamdulillah You know, this past week and a half, two weeks.
It's been a very stressful week for me personally, you know, going through an audit this video from
		

			Allah make it easy for us. Perhaps one of those that offers audits I've been through mela make it
easy for us. And naturally, you know, I was telling my wife that when you're frustrated at work, you
know, you can scream at your auditors you can scream at your boss, you can scream at anyone and so
you take that frustrations home with you and unfortunately, we tend to to emotionally unload on our
on our partners. Maybe the wife unloads on the husband or the husband or the wife and it's not fair.
It is not it's not it's not the right thing to do. What is amazing
		

			Isn't the professor lamps panel, you know, he had the most difficult of schedules and he had the
most stressful of jobs and he had the biggest worries. But when he comes home, he realizes it's not
I come home and I now can, you know, completely unload and whatever is left in the tank, the wife
gets whatever is left if there's nothing left for her, there's nothing left for No, he knows that
this is her time now. And you know, these never had if you find where he comes home, and he
complains to his wives. In fact, we only know that obeso salaam expressed that he had difficulty on
the day of five via day five was the most difficult there was like, we only know because I shall ask
		

			him Rasul Allah says Allah, what was basically the worst day of your life. And then he says to his
wife was a very difficult day for me, which means he never complained. He never comes to his wives
and said, You know how difficult my day was, when he comes home, he realized this is her time, and
she is the priority. And everything that is on her mind, you know, this is the focus, even those
Pinilla, he has the weight of the dunya and akhira upon him, but this is now her times halala I have
to be the Navy for her. And this is what makes them abusers. And I'm such a wonderful example and
the role model as a husband that even in the worst of situations, you know, he's always smiling, and
		

			he's always prioritizing his wives, then abyssal Salaam was an attentive husband, his beautiful
Hadith with no responses to Ayesha, you know, I'm aware of when you are happy. And I know when
you're happy with me, and when you are upset with me, meaning he takes note of what she is saying
the nuances in her language. You know, many times and especially for us that are newly married, we
find these a unique language between husband and wife, for example, you know, a husband comes home
after being frustrated, he doesn't want to talk, he wants to be left in peace, he wants to be quiet,
you know, in a quiet zone just to recover. The wife finds that he's quiet and she's now you quiet,
		

			why aren't you talking to me? And this, you know, makes him more upset. And then he says something,
and then you know, it becomes an issue, then he has to spend more time apologizing for that.
Similarly, the wife comes home, she's frustrated. She wants to talk about whatever's happening at
work and who's annoying, her husband wants to fix it. You listen to the story, and you're saying,
Why don't you say this? Perhaps next week, you must say that not realizing handle is the wrong way
to answer. She wants to unload. She wants to vent she doesn't want you to fix her problems. She just
wants you to listen and to agree with her. And then she will feel happy. So now the promises are
		

			these things, you know, to understand these nuances take some time, then abuso seldom understood his
wives and understood the personalities. So he says to Ayesha, I know when you are happy with me and
when you are not so happy with me. And so she says How do you know that? So she so he says to her?
When you happy with me then you when you know we're in a good space. When you're talking you say I
usually will lie I swear by the load of Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam and if I'm not the face, you know
I'm you know, as as the case with husband and wives, you know, I'm not, you're not in the best of of
spaces with me. Then you will say I swear by the daughter of Ibrahim and Ayesha herself, she, she
		

			realizes Now perhaps she did this subconsciously. And now she smiles. You know, she says but
Jaroslaw, don't get upset. I only lift your name. You know, I didn't leave you. I just said he
brought him he said I'm Hammons alum. I haven't left you just to remind him it's vanilla, even even
when things are bad. I'm still you're still number one to me. Then abyssal Salaam, you know what's
amazing about him as well. I'm not complaining when things are difficult. And really what we find
with marriages and as an Imam, you get to see a number of marriages, people come to you for advice,
when things are good, things are good. Well, hamdulillah and you know, when we enter the honeymoon
		

			phase, we are very happy. But really the test of us as people are how we are in those difficult
situations. When things are tough financially, when someone is sick, when things are going difficult
at work, and we're stressful when we're at our worst. What kind of husbands are you when you're at
your worst? What kind of wife or you and we see some handle on Amazon comes? You know, he's
literally Hungary's basically starving. And he says to eyeshadow, Yolanda, is there anything for us
to eat? And she says, No, he also has nothing to eat. So you manage this one? Is it also Sonam is
hungry? And so what is his response? He says Alhamdulillah and I'm fasting there no problem, no feel
		

			bad. And we'll take today as a day to FOSS. So whatever situation is thrown at him, he makes it a
positive situation. And he understands that by me, moaning and and becoming angry about the
situation does not resolve the problem. It only makes it makes it worse. So something we can take
out of this. But when that baby's crying at two o'clock in the morning, when things are tough
financially, when things are are miserable, you can your your marriage should be that thing which
resolves those problems. Your marriage should be the thing which helps you it is a comfort in times
of difficulty. That beautiful though are in the Quran where Allah Subhana Allah says, Robin I have
		

			been I mean as wodgina was reacting kurata iron Allah, let my spouse, my husband, my wife, my
children, be the comfort of my eyes, the quarterback to iron, the comfort of my eyes in times of
difficulty. I just need to come home and just need to be in the presence of my loved ones. And then
I can deal with all
		

			All these difficulties unfortunately today, we compound our marriages compound our problems or our
problems make our marriages worse. And this is not the case we look at this tsunami Mohammed Salah
that husbands and wives try to alleviate the issues at each other's problems and the stresses and we
go the extra mile to make each other feel better to feel happier. And so this was an obese also.
		

			He was chivalrous and spa, one thing that is lacking in us as men, we are not the gentleman of old
that, you know, Subhanallah that Ibiza Salaam had the extra effort to be a gentleman. We know. We've
said this many, many times. But how many of us open the doors, you know a common joke or something
or something funny, they say that if you see a man opening a door for his wife, then understand that
either the call is new, or the wife is new, it's only it's only one of those two things. But if the
call is old, and the wife is old, then the Wiseman forgets about opening the door, we lose that as
we become you know, as our marriages continue, we sort of lose that extra
		

			chivalry in us as gentlemen, as we go as we get older than that. He's also you know, he always had
this in him with when it comes to his wives, that he would honor God her honor, that he would
protect her that he would make her feel comfortable before himself that if something was brought to
eat, she eats first, when she needs to get on the camel, we know that he would kneel down so that
she could stand on his leg. And he would mount the camel that if there was some AC to be to be in
view if he were sitting on the seat and one of his wives who even though Fatima comes, he would get
up and he would put them in that seat in that position. And then they would sit and they would be
		

			comfortable. He would make sure that his wives are are comfortable. The women in his life, they are
keys they comfort have been more important than his own comfort. We know. He would console them when
things are difficult. Many are like all women, even the wives are the results are the most perfect
are women, they would complain. They wouldn't be upset, they will complain to him about he was
behind Allah. And he's how he how he used this to these moments to comfort them. We know our mother,
Sophia rajala, and how she wasn't the best of camel riders. And so she began to fall behind her
hygiene. 100,000 Muslims are on their way for Hajj, and she begins to get delayed and she can't keep
		

			up. And so because she can't keep up, she begins to cry. All she can do is cry. She's a very soft
lady. And so then abuse on them realizes that Sophia is falling behind and she's crying. And he
makes the whole 100,000 Muslims stop and he goes to her and he takes off the camel and Subhanallah
we know the story that he thinks of the camel, and because she's so upset and she's so flustered.
She blames him because you gave me a bad camel you know all the keys. He doesn't blame herself that
she couldn't ride a camel if you blamed them abuses me. You gave me a terrible camera look at you
know, how could you do this to me. And so then of Islam capsa she says he took my face in his hands,
		

			and he's wiping away my tears with his thumbs. But the more he's consoling me and saying soft words,
the more I'm crying. And when he realizes Look, she's completely overwhelmed. He says to everyone,
Look, guys, we will see as soon as the harbor we will camp here just for one Just for once off here.
We're going to make the whole Jama 100,000 we'll stop here for the night. And we'll compare and open
the things so that Sophia can our mother Sophia rhodiola. And her can can recover Subhanallah after
this incidence of here Ravana felt very bad she I feel scared that I caused the entire
		

			entire camp to be to be deserted because the whole Rome jamala is stopped because of me. And so she
she felt that the reason was angry with her. And of course the reason was angry with her at all
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. We know I shall, for example of Yolanda are all amazing, you know
gifts, intelligence and a width and eloquence. It was a bit of a clumsy sight to her. And this is
this is what's beautiful about the Sahaba we see the human side in them. We don't I shout out and
she would misplace things. When she would cook something. Her servant would say that if she cooked
something she forgets his making the wish he would forget it and the goats would come and eat, you
		

			know, the food that she was in the process of making use of it. You know, she would slip our mind
sometimes how many stories about two or three times they would be on a journey and she would lose
her necklace. She would go to go to the bathroom and then she would come back in and then her
Nicholas would be lost in the desert. And then a visa Sallam does not get angry with her. He does
not get frustrated with her. He says to officer harbor. Oh yeah, so harbor. I should have lost her
necklace. Can you please help her look for it? And so there's a harbor out there in the middle of
the night. This was before 5g and it was like, you know, three, four o'clock in the morning. So how
		

			about out there searching for Ayesha's Nicholas abubaker or the olana father becomes upset he goes
in and he starts poking her. You know, he starts poking his daughter I can sing because of you all
the Sahaba out researching for your Nicholas O'Meara Viola and he is looking for your necklace,
because you are you are negligent and then abetone Sallam is not angry at all. When a visa Salam is
usaba go and look and look for issues for issues. Nicholas sallallahu wasallam we know
		

			We also had a lot with his wives would become angry. And they would sometimes raise the voices so
loud that you can hear in the seat, never didn't abuse alum, argue would immediately respond to them
that said not one of them was surprised when he thought when he got into an argument with his wife,
his wife said something back to him. And he says, How dare you speak to me like this? And so she
said, Who are you a woman to say that when your own daughter hafsa speaks more, more aggressively to
than me so seldom? And Amara was surprised, Is this true? And he would go and you would also have
thought this is really how you speak to him sometimes angry, and she says, not just me, all of us,
		

			if we have we get angry, we say what we feel, and he never complains, he's quiet. And sometimes, you
know, the wives are going to be so solemn. They are, you know, raising the voices, and then
obviously, is sitting in the middle of them. And they are, you know, raising the voices at him. And
when it comes, they would soften the voices. And so they would say, he would say, oh, you're not
shy, that you raise your voice from hamlets also Linda rasuu performer, you lower your voice. And so
they say they are you know, they're harmless. wasallam is a lot more merciful than our model the
alarm, and this is your assault, so solemn never does he respond in anger, that if there's something
		

			that she's upset with, then he would be with it with patience, and he would wait for the event to
come he will wait for below to save him. And then he would go make Salam sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, we don't want to be so solemn. You know, in those moments, we weren't really injured. And so
when we look at the Prophet Salam as a husband, he did not have much time, you know, physical time
for his wives, because he was so busy with the affairs of the oma. And we know we had multiple
wives, we also know he did not have much finances. Very, very simplistic life, he couldn't spoil
them as the way they deserved and in fact, even the wives like any other woman, she would they would
		

			complain to me so I'm like, why can't we have the nice things as the other women have. And so he
said to them that I am little horses or lamp, I have chosen a very strict lifestyle for me and my
family, if you want to be part of my family, then you need to follow in that. So then obviously, we
didn't have all the time that he could have given to them, nor the finances to give to them. But the
love that they had for the for him was something amazing. And one way of really knowing how much the
the wives gonna be son loved him. And obviously I'm sick to them before he passed away, that the one
of you has the biggest hands or the longest fingers would meet me first meaning the first one to die
		

			after me is she who has the longest fingers, and annually after the different reason, they would
have a competition where they would measure the hands to see who would die first Subhanallah now we
ask how is it possible that a woman can love a man so much and really the secret of the Navy SEALs
alumnus
		

			you know, he's as a husband with Aisha was asked What was he like? She said the you know, the read
the Quran that Allah says in the hula, hula kind of embed, he has the highest of character.
Ultimately, the thing that would endear you the most, to your wife, to your parents, to your
colleagues, is the kind of person you are in terms of your character, how you treat them. And it's
not really on the good days that your character is tested. It is in those stressful times when
you're in the middle of that audit. When financially things are difficult. Can you still be that
loving, caring gentleman, the best of husbands and the best of wives in the most stressful of
		

			situations. And that is the secret to the abusers alarms. You know what? Maybe my husband, we know,
for example, to really understand what kind of man he was, on the day that I've received no boy, he
became an OB. And he was so shaken up and he could not understand what was happening to him. He
rushes to hurt Egypt. And he asks her, I think something is wrong with me. What do you think? And so
he just says that
		

			she says to the prophets of Salaam, that it can never be that Allah will will cause you any harm
that you are, you are the best of all people you are good to your wife, you're good your children,
the way you treat the people in need. Your character tells me that you are someone very special, and
that if anyone were to be a Navy, then you would be a prophet. And so our wives would see the kind
of people who are in fact no one knows us better than our wives than our husbands. And that is one
of the Dave kiama one of the big questions we are going to be asked about after our salah and our
our obligations to Allah subhanaw taala was what kind of husband we were kind of wives we were the
		

			biggest
		

			test for for us are our husbands and our wives within reason says the biggest fitna for men or
women. Sometimes we think about the women out there the strange women or other is the women in our
lives that will testify against us on the day FTM because we have not fulfilled our obligations.
Allah Subhana Allah says regehr local women and he said that men, true men and one way of looking at
this idea is that masculinity we talk a lot about masculinity in our context of Africa being a real
man and what you know what is a real man? Allah says manliness is the one who makes Koyama of his
women, what is co one
		

			The same term Allah used for a farmer to solve the one who case we saw, who looks after his son, our
hope, preserves, protects prioritizes all these things is meant in CO a woman. And he said that men
are the ones that care and love and prioritize and are cautious, and on and on custodians, and look
after the women in their life and as ministers me, sir, it's not just your wives, it's your mother,
it's your daughter. And so this is the concept of manliness in Islam, you are judged as a man in the
way you treat the women in your life. And it is a two men is the man that can can always prioritize
his women and pray out prioritize the needs and the comforts of whether it his wife, his daughter,
		

			his mother, over his own, and so handle avivo as men to really understand this issue of how we treat
our women than abusers when I'm actually linked with your Eman provinces, the beast of all believers
the meaning the one who has the highest level of emotion, not the man who makes the most statute or
the man who has the biggest beard or the man who has memorized the most Quran, the man the
prophecies, whereas the best of all men, and the best of all believers, the man with the most demand
is the man who is best to his wives. Because it is easy, it is easy to make Salah on your own, it is
easy to wince yourself, making your own daljit making your own fasting, it is a lot more difficult
		

			when you are dealing with someone else. And taking whatever difficulty comes your way. And still you
maintain the beast of character. And this is really the test that we put ourselves out there that we
attain gender in the way in which we treat our our fellow you know family members, our friends, our
neighbors, our colleagues most places in our marriages Melis Mandela granted this man, when we look
at gender based violence, and we look at the terrible things that are happening in our society that
we can stand up and say Alhamdulillah as a Muslim community, our men are the best of men, and that
it will be our sisters, our wives, our daughters will stand up and say, we have no complaints about
		

			the men in our life, that we are hamdulillah because they follow the Sharia and they follow the
pseudonym hammertoes we have no complaints and that really is upon all of us. May Allah bless us in
that and I pray insha Allah that soon we will be united next week in the masjid. We will communicate
further details just like Allah hi was Allah signal Mohammed Ernie also have your Salam sorry, well
humbler below me as salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh