Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari – Social and Family Conflicts 04 Uncontrolled Usage of Tongues
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of showing gratitude to the tongue and protecting one'sContinues and issues related to the use of the tongue in relationships and family problems. They stress the need for control and monitoring behavior, protectingContinues and avoiding sinful activities, and preserving phone battery life to avoid distractions and embarrassment. The speakers also emphasize the importance of avoiding lying and false testimony, respecting women in community settings, and preserving phone battery life to avoid conflict and friction. A competition for the fourth course on family disputes is also mentioned.
AI: Summary ©
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Mr. Eddie
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why should we inhale Allahu Allah hula Sherry teller. Watch her do and say either now or have you been I was what an hour called handmade an Abu rasuluh Allahumma salli wa sallim ala Sayidina Muhammad Ali he put up in a poor hearing was heavy here Jeannine coolamon TBR whom the CERN in your mundane Allahumma aluminum and fauna when finally my lamp tena was in Subhanak Allahumma, the early Medina ulama.
Kim well that
just fractured brothers, sisters listeners, Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. I welcome all of you once again to our daily discussion on the topic of as just introduced on the topic of family disputes, causes and solutions.
Those of you who have been following my daily discourse
would know that I have so far discussed three major root causes of family friction and family disputes in light of many verses of the Quran in light of the Hadith of the messenger of allah sallallahu ala alihi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Cendana.
If you remember, what are the three causes? What are those three causes that I have already discussed with you over the past few days. The first cause
the first reason of family friction, family disputes and social conflict was incorrect intentions, and too much expectations I explained that particular cause in great detail and the solution also to it.
The second root cause was
diseased and
unpurified hearts,
spiritual illnesses and spiritual diseases and having a diseased heart. And I mentioned in detail how a diseased heart full of jealousy full of hatred full of enmity
contributes to many disputes within the family. And the solution was to rectify and reform our souls, purify our hearts our spiritual selves.
And lastly, the third cause that I explained and discussed with you was issues relating to money, money matters many issues. And I explained this issue in great detail many issues connected to
financial monetary dealings, and how this has a direct link and a direct impact on much of our problems and many conflicts are due to money issues. Now inshallah today dear beloved brothers and sisters and listeners we move on to cause number four, the fourth major root cause of family disputes.
What is the fourth cause? The fourth cause of family friction and family disputes and the problems that we have within our societies and our communities
is
the usage of our tongues
the uncontrolled, the unbridled, the unrestricted
usage of one's tongue.
This is one of the major causes of family disputes.
Unrestricted usage of one's tongue.
Allahu Subhana, who had died the abrupt brothers and sisters has given us this amazing and unique gift
which is the tongue an amazing gift from Allah subhanaw taala. It's an amazing number
which Allah has given us without any effort on our part.
It and this tongue is an Amana it's a gift and a enamel a gift a bounty as well as a trust an Amana given to us by Allah subhanaw taala it's just such a unique part of our bodies, that it just works unrestrictedly without any F
had been put into it like a machine, it just goes on and on and on. Whenever a human being intends something when a human being intends to say something, the tongue starts moving and starts talking.
The way Allah has made this amazing link and connection between our brains and our tongue is unique. This is amazing link and connection that Allah subhanho wa Taala has created between one's brain and intellect and a person's tongue. The moment you think about something in your head, you say it, you know, it's an automatic connection. Right now I'm talking to you, my tongue is moving and thinking in my head. And my tongue is just moving the signal from the before I even finished thinking, my tongue has moved.
Automatic, automatic movement of the tongue.
And the tongue moves whichever way you want to take out letters from your mouth, the tongue goes to the right, it goes to the left, we don't even have to Subhanallah we don't even have to think that you know what, right now I need to say the letter I need to utter. And I need to pronounce the letter
R for example. And therefore, I would need to take my tongue, you know, to the left to say the letter R or take it to the right. Or I need to make the sound which is created by the letter S. So I need to bring my tongue to the forefront. None of this we don't need none of that. This just without even having to put in any effort. Allah Subhana Allah Allah has given us this unique and amazing gift of the tongue. And this tongue, it's an amazing Yama.
And at the same time, as I said, it's an ammonia to trust or when we have been given this tongue which is a NEMA, which is a gift and a murder, then it becomes our responsibility. It becomes our responsibility that we value it. We thank Allah subhanho wa Taala we show gratitude. And one of the forms of showing gratitude is that we utilize our tongues
in a manner that pleases our Lord and our Creator. And we avoid using our tongues in a manner that displeases Him. That's that's showing gratitude to to Allah subhanaw taala. It's a very delicate part of our body. I said it's an armor. It's a gift. It's a bounty. Likewise, this tongue is a chest it's an Amana. Right.
And it's also very delicate. It's an tongue is such a organ and part of our bodies, brothers and sisters, that in one moment, it takes us to Jannah in the next moment, in one moment, it can take us to hellfire in one moment, this time can cause destruction on the earth. One utterance one pronouncement, one phrase, one sentence uttered by the tongue can bring about a revolution
in the world.
One in one sentence, a person is a golfer. And he says the shahada show to Allah Allah illallah, Muhammad and Abu rasuluh
that one sentence has taken him into Jannah. Likewise, a person is a believing is a believer. May Allah save a soul? Allah forbid, I owe the villa well al the villa. But he makes a statement of gopher. He makes an utterance of disbelief. In one moment, a believer has left 3040 years of life of belief and has entered into disbelief in one sentence.
So it's a very delicate part of our bodies as well. It's a NEMA. It's a gift given to us about Allah subhanaw taala it's a a manner and we must really realize the importance of this tongue. And this is why there are many texts of the Quran and Sunnah. And this is the reason why there's a hadith in the survey of Imam Al Bukhari and Muslim where the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, and this hadith is reported recorded related by so you're going to Abu Huraira probably Allahu Anhu that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in Abdullah Colombo will Kelly Murthy Meritor by Januvia he is in Luba Illa. Nari Abba Adam in Baden machinery will maverick in abdulfatah
Kela mobile Kelly Murthy might have a yellow fever. He has ill Looby her Elon Nury of Adam in Baden machinery will Maghrib Nara, a slave, a human being a slave. Sometimes, at his later Kela mobile Kelly Murthy utters a sentence which without thinking may have a year lluvia it doesn't really give it due importance with that he didn't really think about it but
That utterance and that statement takes him
so deep into *, like the distance between the East and the West, that the distance which which we find between the East and the West, that's how deep this person
falls into the fire of *, merely due to a statement by his tongue or her tongue.
Imam Al Bukhari relates again another Hadith recorded by say you do not Abu Huraira or the Allahu Anhu messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, in an act Delta Lobel Kelemen Ridhwan Allah hit the island, now up to her bed and he had a pharaoh hula hoop he had a reject a slave sometimes makes an utterance makes a utterance a pronouncement say something make says a statement, which is a statement of the pleasure of Allah to please Allah. He doesn't really give a due importance he never thought he was big deal. He just made a statement, maybe of helping someone of enjoying the good or forbidding the evil or some nice gesture which helps someone
pleased someone and hence please Allah Allah Subhana Allah Allah. Because of that Allah gives elevators that are just your hula hoop you heard that Rajat Allah elevates him greatly.
On the other hand, the Hadith states were in an update later Colombo will Kenny met him in Sapa Allah He to either lay up the her burden lay up Bihar Berlin. Yeah, we'd be happy nerdy Johanna. That a slave of Allah makes an utterance from his mouth, which is an utterance that displeases Allah. He never thought big of it, he never gave it in India importance, but that makes him fall deep into the fire of *.
Everything we save every statement, my yellow film in Poland elearning they hear a peep on it, read surah to off, Allah says, Every statement that comes out of our mouths, nothing comes out from our mouth, except that an angel is there waiting to record it, make a note out of it, make a note of it. It's preserved myofilament code Illa Allah they hear of people it
a person becomes a Muslim. In one statement, a person becomes a disbeliever in one statement.
And therefore, we really need to give importance to our tongues
momentarily relates from what are the bingeable or the Allahu Anhu that the messenger SallAllahu wasallam said, well, hallelujah kupuna Sufi Nari Allah will do him in the House or Senate him. Nothing has made people fall deep into the fire of * on their faces, except the sins of their tongue.
So brothers, we really insisted we really need to be very careful of our tongues. And if we look
at the many problems and frictions and disputes and family problems that we find ourselves in, most of them are due to uncontrolled usage of the tongue.
We would save ourselves of much bother our communities, our families would save themselves from much bother. And many of our problems will be sorted will be solved.
There'll be cured and we will avoid a lot of our conflicts and disputes. If each one of us took it upon ourselves that you know what this tongue has a zip on it. This tongue will not open unless absolutely necessary. We need to think think before we speak, not speak before we think there's a difference. I'll argue the apple the intelligent one is the one who thinks and then speaks so think you know Mr. Musharraf era The Allahu Anhu the great Imam yesterday we talked about Abu Hanifa Rahim Allah or the annual Imam Shafi Ravi Allahu Anhu. When somebody would come and speak to him and ask him a question or whatever, have a conversation with him. Somebody would come and ask him a
question. He would look down for a few moments.
Think and then speak.
So some of his students asked him, oh, Imam. Every time someone comes and talks to you and speaks to you, you take, like 10 seconds, 20 seconds. 30 seconds, a minute, two minutes to respond. What do you think about?
He said, had the reefer and pay it off? He turned me off his Sukkot. Subhanallah you know what he said? He said, I think when somebody comes and speaks to me, I think for a moment that is it better for me to talk and respond or is it better for me to stay quiet?
Subhanallah is it better for me to speak
or
Is it better
for me to remain quiet?
He used to think, and we really do think that so that's why I said, the intelligent one is the one. And our fellow intelligent one is the one who, who thinks and then speaks, we should think. And you know what, in the beginning, it'll take us like a minute, two minutes, sometimes a lot of time. But then we'll get a habit of making the right decisions and saying the right things. The intelligent one, you were whether you're at home, whether your interaction with the with your spouse, with your husband,
wives, women, I'm going to talk about women specifically because their messenger Sallallahu analysen, specifically talked about women and the unrestricted usage of the tongue, which causes destruction upon destruction upon destruction in the earth, and causes their marriages to break down causes enmity, hatred, because they have nothing some of them have nothing whatsoever to do except the uncontrol usage of the tongue, unbridled usage of the tongue in which they are backbiting they are tail bearing they are slandering that are using foul mouth, foul languages swearing, it's ridiculous and even believing Muslim, a practicing Muslim, a Muslim and a Muslim who has a fear of
Allah subhanaw taala has some sort of, you know, dignity about himself or herself, will not let loose the tongue will not use the tongue unrestrictedly that person will think and that's why we need to think we need to really think the intelligent one is the one who thinks first, the one who thinks first and then speaks. Think for a moment that is it better for me to talk and respond. And this is why the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
Men can or you know Billahi will Yeoman aka
failure can Hiren only a small this is a Hadith recorded by Satan Alborada Allah who don't just speak too much, man can a human have been lucky will Yeoman AKA a lyrical Hiren Alia SMent messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says the one who believes in Allah on the final day. In other words, the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is describing to as a believer, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is describing to us describing to us who a believer that this is a Muslim. He said men can use mineral Billa he will Yamanaka do, you will know how. what a person does, who believes in Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the one who believes
in the final day do you will know who that is? He what does he do? By luck? Will he run? I will Yes What let him say that which is good. Or Let him remain quiet. If we have something good to say we say it or we just stay quiet.
We will save ourselves from many problems in the world. We really need to control our tongues. So as I say, the intelligent one is who
is the one who remains who's thinks before he speaks. And the one who causes all the destruction on the earth and in an intelligent one is the one who speaks then thinks
spine a lot. You know you speak and then we think about it afterwards. Oh, you know, what should I have said that? Do you think I caused offense to someone to offend her? Did I offend him? Do you think that was bad to say? I mean, at least some people even do that. There are many of us who don't even want to think after we just speak speaks we just keep on talking talking talking, talking, chatting away chatting away. The mask just keeps moving like a machine that there is no sign of it. Heather's talking, no sign of it ever, you know, taking a pause and we will just go on and on and on and on.
And we really need to take a moment sometimes your souls
speaking less, Lachman al Hakim. Have you guys I'm sure everybody's heard of Lachman al Hakim?
Allah subhanaw taala talks about him in the Quran. Look, Amanda wise person. Allah says Allah. Tina, no command and heck matter. Verily We gave Look man, we blessed him with a lot of hikma with a lot of wisdom. When Athena look man at hikma and you know he's there are many advices mentioned in the Quran of the young man, which he gave to his son. He was an extremely amazing, intelligent, wise human being.
And the reason and he will he was very, very effective in his speech and his conversation. Initially it wasn't like that. He was a slave. And once you know after he was a slave and then after a long time after you know when, when ALLAH blessed him
gave him that amazing rank and positions. So once he was in a miraculous gathering your demo nurse teaching people, so a man came to him who used to work with him in the olden days as a shepherd. Right. And he was he was a slave working as a shepherd.
So this person who worked with him once said to him, he saw him that Subhanallah this Look man, Hakeem used to work with me and now look at him
as an amazing rank and position, she said to Esther, Larry Quinta, Tara Lyle venom, Finmeccanica our cover onto the same you know, person look man who used to be a shepherd with me we used to look after animals cattle, goats and sheeps is the same person.
Look man said nah, um, yes, it is me. So, the person said Fermat Bella, become a Ara, how do you reach this level?
What made you reach this high MACOM and this position and the status?
Look, man and Hakeem,
listen to his response, the response of look man and hacky.
This lot Amanda wise, whom Allah has said, well, Tina look Emanuel hikma and Allah coats him time and time again in the Quran with God a local man who Ibni here Bula to Sheikh villa, he coaches advice is given to his son because there were amazing advices and it's in the Quran. He was asked by a person that oh look man what made you reach that level and that position and that rank and that status?
Listen to his answer. He said said the whole Hadith he was some to unmad I am buddy.
So the whole Hadith he was some to analyze somebody.
Truthful conversation. Number one, the first
thing that led me to this MACOM and this position, Lachman says cynical Hadith. I've always been truthful, I've never lied. And number two was some to unmad I embody.
staying quiet from anything that doesn't concern me. In other words, I have never spoken unnecessarily. I only opened my mouth. I only use my tongue when there's a genuine absolute need to speak. Subhanallah and this is why the Allah Ma said, Look, man was given and blessed by Allah, with the things that ALLAH blessed him with was because he was allowed to learn sunnytent He was extremely quiet individual. But we will fix used to use is to be extremely thoughtful. You spend hours in thought
he never used to engage himself in futile discussions. And you know what brothers This is? I'll tell you one thing. So you know what this really tells us? Look, man at Hakeem ALLAH blessed him and give him wisdom. Allah Azza wa ala, Athena, local man and hikmah. Verily, We have given Lachman hikma right, we've given him wisdom. And Allah must say, because he was he was given that position. Why? Because he was a quiet person. And he used to be a thoughtful person all is in 14 reflection, never engaging himself in futile discussion. You know why? I tell you something, because those people who use less of the mouth, they use more and more of the head and their brain. And those who don't use
more of the brain, they use more of their mouth. If you just kind of move, moving our mouth and tongue, we don't use our brains, those people who just every time all the time, it's chatting away, just talking, talking, talking. They don't use their brains. And those generally, the ones who speak less the calm ones, the quiet ones. They're very thoughtful, because they're using them brain is functioning more than their mouth and the tongue. And this is why a lot of manner of hacking was given his position.
And these great scholars in Oklahoma and amazingly
pious predecessors, from the time of the messenger sallallahu alayhi, salam from Sahaba of the Allahu animal because he did not the Allahu Anhu read his biography, used to be extremely cautious about his tongue.
extremely cautious. And the grid tab you're in and the seller facade pane and the grid Scott is all of them.
They hardly used to speak. They used to remain quiet. He used to spend hours long hours in not using the tongue. And when they use the tongue, they used it for something good. And this is acting upon the Hadith that I just
quoted. McKenna you may know, be lucky when you're in a hurry, but yet will Hiren Olia Smith, the one who believes in Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam let him say that which is good or Let him remain quiet for local higher and earliest mode.
And this is why you know, the point says if that sector to re Telangana we're in Napa who's America home or Ola
If a secretary or a telephone janitor or a knock on Senator the home owner, when you see these great Sahaba in these past predecessors and these great personalities and individuals in history, when they when you see that when they are quiet you see beauty in them. Subhanallah when when people are quiet, there's beauty in that as well for the person who sees and observe that beauty.
Some of the great scholars, they hardly speak but they calmness, their composure, the dignity above themselves.
It it's this this beauty in it. When Allah He presents this is his beauty in it.
You see this great scholars some of them. We hear the name of Chef Modena, Muhammad Zakaria Rahim Allah time and time again. He was known to be an extremely quiet individual, hardly used to speak.
But people who relate who attended his gatherings would say that there was just amazing tranquility in his gallery. He used to just remain quiet. And there is beauty, you know, the person that self respect and dignity and when we stay quiet, you know, when we all chat away, chat, chat, chat and keep on using our mouths. People don't take us seriously. Because this thing this guy just keeps on talking, talking, talking. You know, when we talk too much. People don't really give importance to what we have to say.
We enter the house, we outside the house, on the streets, in the masjid at the workplace 24/7 We just yapping away. And people really don't listen to what we have to say because they don't take us seriously enough.
The ones who are intelligent, they don't talk. They hardly talk but when they talk, they speak oceans of wisdom. And people take them seriously. And this is what the poet is saying. If a second two are at the home Jamela when they are quiet, you see a beauty in them.
We're in natok mu summit or tele home or hula and when they speak, you hear from them oceans of knowledge and wisdom and intellect order.
So, we really need to control our tongues dear beloved brothers and sisters, tongues and our mouths we really need to control and there are many you know that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has mentioned about the tongue in many there are many Hadith. We really have to it's an obligation. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the famous Hadith sahih al Bukhari he said Hmong Bertinelli Medina Leahy. Well my bein originally he bumped into the who Allah Allah and Janetta whoever guarantees me that which is between his true Jos ie the tongue and whatever is between his two legs. I either private parts, I guarantee him but Allah will give him Jana this hadith of scale
Buhari
the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked once a companion Sahabi Akbar Ben army Radi Allahu Anhu this hadith and Sunnah tell me he said Ya rasool Allah, messenger of Allah manager, how do I gain success and salvation? How do I gain salvation? The messengers of Allah Azza wa sallam said Emilich la Cali Cali Seneca Well yes, aka they took one key Allah hottie attic, he mentioned to him three things he said if you do these three things, then the success and the salvation does Najat for you in the alcohol number one a Malik Ali can discern control your mouth Control your tongue.
Control your tongue. And then you mentioned a couple of other things well yes Akobo to try to remain as at home as much as possible. And while the gala hottie attic and cry as much as you can, on your sense.
But we really see we're talking about family conflicts and problems that majority of our problems they take place because of what
because of the trunk, not controlling the tongue a lot of times we say things and then that causes friction. We said something and then someone related to anyway he said this about me and she said this about me just why don't we just do quiet? Why don't we just think before we have to say something? We say something good mankind a human rubella he will Yeoman aka Polyak will hire an either we say something good and I said examples of good I mentioned this hadith but now I mentioned example.
Send blessings on a messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, recite the Quran, read a book. You can read a book loudly as well. teach someone some portion of religion.
The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he even mentioned in the Hadith that in sunnah Timothy and as a secular Cushie a burden filled Jana even you know, alleviating someone's distress
Helping someone.
But you know what, even when we go to help someone, sometimes we say things or do things that will harm them. And I talked about this last year Ramadan, when we read the Bookman, adult Islam, the things to say when we go and visit an ill person or a sick person,
even then, you know, we need brains to use our tongues. Really, we need to think
like I'm giving an example like sometimes some of us will be like a brother went to see someone who was ill and sick. And he said, You owe your illness is so bad. Oh, my, you know, my I know a friend who was had the same illness, and he died,
who you go and visit someone who is ill, and you say to them, and you know, I know someone who's got the same illness, and they eventually died.
You should give them hope. Even if there were in a critical illness, you need to give them hope. So even though we need to be very careful how we use our tongues, but generally good things,
support people encourage people to do good.
And the things to avoid, we know, the sins that we commit with our tongues.
We know those sins, we really know know those sins, and those are the major sins that contribute. Those are the major sins that contribute to our problems within the community.
Nowadays, we don't even think that,
you know, just the uncontrolled, unrestricted user of the tongue is some some major issue. Subhanallah some of us we don't even realize, you know, we have this gupshup you know, what a gupshup is, I don't know what language that is yet, but the Rapa gupshup there's a forum actually on the Internet called gupshup forums or something like that. People actually literally think, okay, you know, oh, what are you doing tomorrow? Okay, no problem. We'll come come home, you know, we'll do some CAPTCHA.
spending hours and hours doing corruption. And you know, that gupshup
will be filled with riba backbiting, talking ill of other people, making mockery of other people, ridiculing other people,
tail bearing,
spreading rumors of other people, all of this, all of this being practiced in that gathering that Majlis that session, that merges you go in a modulus, and there's a session there. And in that session, all of these sins are committed. We don't even realize we sit there. And we think, you know, we're just doing gupshup but that's not just corruption. I mean, itself, futile, you know, even if you weren't committing that sins, that's actually sinful.
Abdullah haematomas Rudra V. Allahu Anhu. He says on zero config Bula. Kalam
has more radical Maya blog will be hijacked.
On Video configural Kalam has more Adhikam my blog will be here hijo for inner Rajala use URL and full moon economy comma usage, Hulu and FUBU remedy. This is how you doin Abdullah houmous Rudra the Allahu Anhu he says that I
am warning you of non essential conversation.
I'm not talking about sins. Our beloved Masaru is saying that I'm warning you about non essential football column talking about things that you don't need to talk about. And then he says it's enough Haskell or honeycomb Maya will be a hydrator whatever, it's enough for a person to use his tongue to the amount and extent of need, it is enough for a person to use his tongue to the amount of need you only use it to to the extent of your need. And then he says that in a regular use aloo amphibole Khademi can I use a little unfamiliar Maliki because a human being because a human being will be questioned on the Day of Judgment of his excessive conversation will be asked about using his tongue
for that which there was no need to ask if you will be asked about his excessive wealth.
So even if we did not commit sins, we had a session a gathering of capture, even if we did not commit sins, that in itself was a crime. But let alone that we say let's go and do some gupshup we'll sit there we'll talk evil and Ill about people will commit the sins even if there were no sins committed. It was bad enough, but we have our gatherings full of evil such as backbiting, lying Tilbury I mentioned all of this mockery, really killing people, copying people making fun of people, normal people have fun.
We are we need to be serious people. We're not a people. We don't people have fun
and making mockery and ridiculing and wasting our precious time in these kinds.
have activities and then someone says something to someone and that's it. There'll be enmity in the hearts because of that unbridled and unrestricted usage of the tongue
and sometimes on the phone
and that's that's a such a disease and especially with our sisters, unfortunately, I have to say this I have to be clear. I mean, there are certain things which the brothers are more involved in, but certain things in which the sisters are more involved in, and this is a reason why the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa salam once addressed the sisters directly
because this is a Hadith in Sahih of Imam Al Bukhari. Rahim Allah in Kitab al Hadith the chapter of Hadith Bible 13. How Salma Hadith number 304
The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was once addressing the female companions, the sisters, and he said many Arakan authority now I see that many of you are in the fire of *.
So the woman asked the Rasul Allah, Messenger of Allah, what's the reason? Listen to the sisters, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, remember, this is I'm not trying to pinpoint you out. As I said, some things. Brothers are more involved in it. Some sense, sisters are more prone to committing those sins. And this is more specific with our sisters. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Look Furnell Lana, what a formal Asherah to thermal learner with a formula sheet. The reason why I so many women in the fire of *
in hellfire being punished is because they commit to sins both are connected to the tongue.
Too thin Alanna you curse too much to federal Alanna,
which is slanderous language. Women have this habit the messages of Allah Hollywood center which takes them into the fire of *
of using the tongue in a way where they make remarks, slanderous remarks, swearing, making Laettner cursing, whether she is a daughter, whether she's a wife, whether she's a mother, whether she's a Auntie Subhanallah sometimes women they don't think and even men, but generally, you know, this is more like I said within women but people don't just think
when they get angry, they say anything and everything. I mean, I have instances and I know incidents and cases where people have committed cover.
I don't like Allah and I hate to love to be loved for my own biller. People go crazy to go wild. And they say anything and everything. Elmer OMA who tells me, a human being is a hidden under his tongue.
You're hidden under your tongue, we are hidden under our tongues. When things are all rosy. We don't. We don't really our true nature doesn't come out. But when the going gets tough, and that's why the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the Hadith, where he mentioned the signs of a hypocrite. He said one of the signs out of the four with the one Hadith has three and the fourth one mentioned way the whole summer fetcher. When he gets involved in an argument he becomes fouled mouth
using slanderous and offensive language and the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was specifically addressing the sisters. And he said the reason why so many women in Jahannam in hellfire was because look, Theron Allah, if you're a wife, then you're just always, you know, whinging.
And always this habit of cursing and shouting and slandering and seeing things from the mother takes women and men to the fire of *. Now law save us all. I mean, Europe, seriously, we need to think about this. And the second thing what a foreigner last year, again, connected to the mouth.
The coroner means you show ingratitude to your husbands.
And it's women must be thinking, you know, but you know, my husband is like, this is like that. Sisters, you have to start somewhere. If you're gonna think like that, and he's gonna think that oh, my wife is, you know, she's a very lippy woman. She's mouthing, she's a very mouthy moment. And I know a lot of men say that and they say, she's always just yapping away saying things, and I'm not gonna be able to be good to her.
Because she's like this. And the wife thinks Obama has MS like this, it gives me the reason.
If that's a cycle that's never gonna end, it's just gonna go around and run run. We need to take it upon ourselves. If you're a husband, take it upon yourself. Look, any two Sharla advice her and explain to in a nice, gentle way and look after her and fulfill her rights. And likewise as a wife.
Don't wait. Don't say Oh, my husband didn't treat me well. He didn't do this. You have to start remember even if he doesn't
Imagine the rewards by Allah Allah subhanaw taala. Seriously imagine
and even if you if you said one thing out of context was more than what he deserved, and that's going to take you into the fire of *
and messengers of Allah and he was salam, Al Marathi, Salah comes was Sama, shahada or da da da dah dah gentlemen a year bourbon shirt, a woman who observes a five time prayers, observes the fast of Ramadan and obeys or respects her husband, she will enter Jannah Paradise from whichever do she wants
this great importance in ensuring that you don't map be you don't mouth back to your husband's local earner. And I had a yesterday I had another to Lisa and yesterday really as soon as you hit
the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam says if I was to and if I had to order anyone to make sujood and searched and prostrate in the presence of anyone else, who would have ordered and commanded wives to prostrate in front of their husbands. Likewise, there are Hadith for the husbands as well, um, the verses of the Quran, were actually runnable maruf treat them well and honorably. But I'm talking specifically about the mouth, the tongue and generally, in a relationship.
Mouth is a big problem. And in the usage and restricted usage of the tongue, we have problems with whether you're a mother or a father, the mother is mouthing her kids
making remarks derogatory remarks, ridiculing them,
disrespecting them in a sense that they mean nothing. They're not even human beings if you're a mother, and if you talk to us, sons and daughters like that, and then they leave the path of Islam or they become disobedient or disrespectful. And don't blame anyone except yourself. As parents we need to think and likewise children, be respectful, be respectful towards your parents, this great importance of this, the tongue, all these conflicts that we have is because our mouth, we are not sweet mouth.
If we change the way we talk, brothers and sisters will lie, I guarantee you,
it will avoid much of your problems at all. The way we use our tongue, we hardly talk, we should abstain from unused, useless talk, I rarely talk, we talk in a sweet way, in a sweet manner, in a respectful manner.
in a respectful manner, subhanAllah even the words we use, even the words we use, and some of communities that have this amazing
habit. Allah He Enya I remember once I was in serious when I was studying, I studied couple of years in Syria. I remember once I went to my chef, one of my teachers house
and we went to study with him in the morning after furniture at his house. his young daughter, I think she was about six she opened the door. I still remember her name as well.
And subhanAllah you know, such the way that she conversed, how parents may therapy of that small daughter of this. She opened the door she said a Salam or aleikum wa rahmatullah. Those are my three of us. The salam o aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato ln was saheliyon. Welcome, come inside. And as you open the door, and she said, Look, this is the front room.
Brothers sit down, and then I will call my Baba she call it that Baba, I will call my Baba Don't worry. And then she came and she came back after a six year old girl. She says she came back she said, Baba, you know, she's hella Masha, who is just talking beautiful Arabic. He's a bit busy right now. You know, have a seat, you know, feel at home, she said, all these kinds of things, you know,
to us in Arabic.
And, you know, the Arabs have this really sweet way of talking. Some of them, you know, they say, Ed, say, Ed, you say the, you know, my master, you know, he's respectful conversation, even young people. I'm not saying all of them are like that, but there are some good ways. These are the terms and phrases we need to use. Seen a sweet man.
May I do this man, I do this.
So when we we try to stay quiet. And even when we talk, we are extremely careful and sweet. And this is how the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in his conversation. And that's why he became beloved. And that's why there were no conflicts between him and other people generally. He became beloved in the eyes and the sight of other people, because the way he used his tongue.
He was very sweet in the way he conversed, and he used to have a smile on his face used to speak with a smile to his people.
And I said, our problems at home parents we need
To educate our young children like that, and husband wife relationship as well, there are problems in the house connected to the time. And then we think all you know, the husband wife's not getting on, we need to start with, let's go to the molana. Let's go to the chef, let's go to this person, or there's probably black magic. As I was talking about last week, every problem that imagine you drop a spoon on the floor of a cup, falls down and breaks black magic. Anyway, I mean, that was a topic I did discuss. And that's it. We blame everything else, blame it on black magic.
And then we want, we think, I'm not saying that even amulets are not effective, you can do that. I'm not saying they're not permissible, they are permissible, but you know what, first of all, we make dua to Allah the most effective means of solving these problems or making dua to Allah, and then really looking at ourselves that we won't do anything. If it was so easy for an amulet for our will, to sort all our problems, you know, the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would have made 10,000 is for all his battles, he would have taken one to visit or better another one to reservoir of overhead. And you know what he would have just, you know, wrote that towels and throw
it towards the enemies and everything would have been sorted.
We need to tackle these problems.
We think, you know, let's do some problems in the marriage. Let's go to the sheriff, we'll blow in some water. And that's it. And we drink in the moment we drink it, everything's gonna be hunky dory and fine, it doesn't work like that. I remember an incident.
And this will make you smile. I know, there's not much time for thought. And you're probably hungry, but this will make you smile.
There was this one chef
had a couple came to him and said we've got major problems in the marriage and this and that and he said, Look, you need to do this or you need to try this you need to try that look at the issues why you want you know, get some arbitration and there's that and the other and many reasons there was some problems with the wife some problems with the, with the husband, but he he detected a lot of the problem was to do with the wife because she had a very sharp tongue. And much of the problems was caused because of the wife's sharp tongue. So
he, he they said, Oh, buddy, we have a problem. Can you please do some dumb which is blowing on water, and we want to drink it and you know, please, you know, make doors that don't make dua, but they wouldn't they wouldn't get the message. They said, No, we want water. We want you to make an amulet that we and blowing some water. So we'll drink it, because her husband was adamant when we went to water. He said okay, these people are not listening. Let me just use it. Okay, bring some waters, he bought some water, he recited some things, and he blew on it.
Now, the problem that he detected in this couple's marriage was you know, what happens is you detected that this couple whenever the husband would come home from a long day's work, right? Whenever he would come home from a long day's work,
he would be tired. And when you would enter the house,
because he would be you know, extremely tired.
He probably wouldn't do things for his wife. And he wouldn't like ask, I wish her husband should you should look after your wives and you should definitely you know, when you even when you come home despite you being under pressure, etc. But you should be you know, looking after your wives. But that's another issue. I mean, I'm not talking about husband wife's rights here. That's the topic of marriage. We need another session for that. And that's complete. I did a whole course on that. I had a 19 CD set on it and I talked like in four hours rights husband rights a wife, you need about five hours for the rights of husband wife in a very detailed way. But what I'm just saying here that this
this incident, yep. See detected that when he comes in the house.
He's tired, etc. So the wife at that time really gets angry, and she mouths him and wedges and anxious because with him and had a sharp tongue and swears at him and slanders at him a shout. And then he retaliates and then that's it. The problems are exacerbated from there on and that's it, and that that is really causing problems on home to the point that they're very close to divorce. So the chef detected that, but they wanted water. They said dumb, you know, blowing the water, we won't drink water. They wouldn't understand any of this. So the chef used a trick. And you know what he said? He said, Okay, this is a bottle of water. I've done some dumb and recitation. Dummies, you
know, blowing, right? It's dumb. It's an old blowing.
I've recited some rakia and reverse of the Quran and I've blown onto this water. He said to the husband take it home. This is a very effective water in sha Allah, all your problems are going to be solved. So you know how to use this water, how to drink this water. This water in sha Allah needs to be consumed and needs to be drank by yourself and your wife, especially especially wife, and the time for this is exactly when you come from work. So when you come from work, as soon as you come into the house, you can't eat anything. You can't drink any
thing your wife must not eat anything for them or drink anything for the past 10 minutes. As soon as you come inside the house, the first thing is that you have to take two cups, one cup, you take it, and you put it in your mouth, the next cup, you know, you give it to your wife and she puts in her mouth. And then what needs to be done is that that water, she needs to keep it in her mouth for 10 minutes, and you need to keep that water in your mouth for 10 minutes.
That's it for 10 minutes, after 10 minutes, gobble your mouth and spit it out and then drink some water. You shall not this will solve all your problems. It solved it. problems are solved. Why?
What happened? You understand?
Because as soon as he used to come in, he used to be frustrated and allow us to get all this angry and everything and that's where all the problems just to start. Now they've taken 20 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes drinking water, the mouth that the wife has to keep the water in the mouth like in the mouth. That's it. Can you speak on speak for 10 minutes and that person now all the pressures are of after 10 minutes the water has cooled him down everything he couldn't speak husband could not speak the wife could not speak because she's got water in her mouth.
That's the real way of sorting our problems out
amulets and things like that that one means but they're not the major they're not your main meat, making dua to Allah subhanaw taala so in this hadith the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
the therminal Lana, what the Quran or Shira are women.
You're cursing and your you know, disrespectful remarks
are the things that cause much of the conflict and problems at home. And I said we know some of the brothers they just go and sit in a gathering and imagine this in a session backbiting and tell bearing and all sorts of issues seriously.
And worst is the phones that we have.
And especially the mobile phones that we have, the less mobile phones kept the better.
Allah He it's, you know, we waste so much of our times on these mobile phones. And I've mentioned this a few times especially these free minutes that we have.
You know what I call them I've turned them before and and some of you may have probably heard of this from me. 500 free minutes 700 free minutes. You know what I call them 500 Free libre backbiting, minutes 1000 Free orange tail bearing minutes 500 Free, gossiping, you know, talking about the whole world minutes. That's what we do. Brothers and sisters, when we are told make use of our time, do something beneficial. Read a book, read some Quran, teach someone something, help someone in the community. Do not for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala waste your precious life and your precious time in one hour of conversation on the phone, where you talk about this sister
and that brother and this sister and that sister, and you went to a wedding and she said this and did you see her? Do you see how she looked at me? And she never gave her a gift? And oh they did you see and look at them. She did this and did you not? Do you see all these people that look how they did their wedding, or even call them people and those people who came to us see how they were looking. And they came in you know, they were they were quiet, you know like this and they were like that
Allahu Akbar,
wasting of precious time
in making the bar and backbiting until very,
and this happens a lot within the family within the relatives within that within the relations.
This happens much of the time within the relatives, people talking with one another within the relatives. One day you're doing backbiting of your cousin sister, and next day you're backbiting about your grandma or your nephew or your niece
seriously problems that same person when entailed, but being two faced sometimes, once you're on one occasion, one phone call you're with your one cousin and you're talking bad about evil about the other cousin and then when you're on the phone with the other cousin, you're talking bad about the other cousin who you're talking to in the first place that's been two faced, and the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Hadith, this hadith where he talks about a two faced person and you know what he called him his call him or called her the worst of mankind. The messenger Salah This is a Hadith in Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim Sahih Muslim sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim
Abu Huraira the Allahu Anhu say you don't have a horror of the Allahu Anhu relates that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, What did you do in a short run Nasir Haney? Allah the will let you be watching. We'll be watching. You will find the most evil of man
The Most Evil of people is a two faced person, a person who comes to this piece this group of people with one face and comes to another group of people with another face.
So these are sins of the tongue that contribute greatly, that contribute greatly to our family friction and our family problems. We have about five minutes left so far, but I'm going to enter you today. I'm going to carry on with this cause number four, remember brothers and sisters we are on cause number four of family disputes. We've talked about three previously, number one cause was wrong intentions. Number two was diseased hearts. Number three, yesterday was monitoring and many, many issues and financial issues. We're talking about causing before and controlled and restricted usage of the tongue in the mouth, contributing and having a very direct impact on our family
problems and family frictions and disputes. I've got to talk about some other issues connected to the tongue, talking about backbiting about lying, how lying contributes how making fun and mockery. Messages, Allahu alayhi salam said, Let them as a haka, don't make fun out of people making jokes out of people, all of that connected to the tongue. So all of this inshallah is connected to the tongue. And hopefully we will carry on tomorrow in sha Allah hooter Allah at 6:45pm Because Allah here for listening today Akula Cody Hara was Dr Allahu Allahu wa salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Sallim wa salaam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Smilla Rahmanir Rahim
Al Hamdulillah Muhammad who want to start you know who want to start federal who in a steady when I wrote the letter I mean surely unforeseen. Amin see it. I'm Melina Mayor de la who follow mobila Who am I who follow her Do ye shadow Allah? Allahu Allahu la sharika wash had one say you don't know what have you been? What are you gonna Mohammed Abdullah Rasool Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayidina Muhammad who are early he appears to be in a hurry and was Herbie here join Marla coulomb until we are home via certain era unit deal. Allahu Allah, aluminum and pharaoh now and finally, Tina was even our intimate Subhanak Allahu muda in Medina in an antenna in Lima Hakeem well
that
destructured Brothers Sisters listeners are Salam. Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh, who I welcome all of you once again,
to our daily discussion on the topic of
family disputes, family conflicts, causes and solutions.
We've been discussing many different causes of family disputes. Over the course of the last few days in the month of Ramadan mubarak.
We've been discussing
the reasons why we find
ourselves in many family problems and we find ourselves in dispute and find a lot of conflicts and friction within the family and within our societies in general.
And if you have been following my daily discussion and discourse,
you would know that I am actually discussing right now cause number four. So we've discussed many causes, why we have problems, and the solutions we discussed cause number one which has to do with in having incorrect intentions and then correcting our intentions. We mentioned cause number two of friction and dispute, which was having diseased hearts. So the solution was to purify our hearts and souls and our inner selves from jealousy and from hatred and from envy and from other spiritual illnesses and diseases. And number three, we talked about monetary issues, financial issues, financial dealings, how they had an impact on our relationship, and how many could be a root too
much of our problems. And I talked about certain issues connected to financial dealings and military matters and how to solve them. And yesterday I moved on to Dear beloved brothers and sisters to the fourth cause the fourth major reason why we have a lot of conflict and friction.
And that was and I'm going to Inshallah, carry on with his fourth course today and end and compete the fourth course today, which was to do with our tongues. I mentioned yesterday, if you remember that the fourth may
major cause for dispute and friction and argumentation
is the way we use our tongues, the uncontrolled, unrestricted usage of our mouths and our tongues,
the failure on up on our power to control our tongues to preserve and guard our tongues from any kind of unlawful language, and just basically failing to control our tongues. This has a very, very strong impact on disputes.
If we honestly were to be extremely careful
of preserving our tongues, if we are extremely careful of controlling our tongues, and as I said yesterday, I mentioned that we, if we were to think before we speak,
the intelligent one is the one who thinks before he speaks. And the insane one that's insane individual is the one who speaks and then thinks and then ponders. So reflection, pondering thinking before we actually open our mouths. And if it's better for us to say something that we say it and if not, then it's better to remain quiet as it's mentioned in the Hadith of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where he said men can or you know Billahi will Yeoman or hairy Ballia will hire run only a smooth, the one who believes in Allah his Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the one who believes in the final day, in other words, a Muslim a believer,
let is the one who stays who says that which is good or remains quiet. If he does not have if she does not have anything to say that is good and beneficial. Then that person remains quiet.
And I mentioned uncultured Imams. sherfield Rahim Allah, what are the Anhu that when people used to speak to is to think and ponder and then respond after a couple of minutes? And just take a pause? And then he has to, you know, think anyone who has questions who said, I think what it's better for me to speak off, it's better for me to remain quiet. So we need to really struggle, dear brothers and sisters.
And this is I mentioned a lot of Hadith yesterday about controlling our tongues, but it's a Mujahidin. It's a struggle. And we need to strive, we need to try nothing is easy in this world. Everything, there's a price for it. Everything you want to be healthy, you have to exercise, you know, a lot of people to go out, they go for a jog early in the morning, especially in England, seven o'clock in the morning, it's dark winter morning, it's maybe it's like the night you wake up eight o'clock in the morning, and you look out of your curtains and it's dark. It's really dark, and it's cloudy, and it's rainy, and it's cold. But still, people they go out for a jog. People go to
the gym, Pete because they want to be healthy. And we should I mean, that's another topic in Islam to be healthy.
So, people do that. And we struggle, we do sit ups and we do this and we do that we want to you know, wake up in the morning, and we definitely don't feel like going for two hour for work. We don't want to go to work.
And it's really dull outside. And we think you know what, let me just get back into that warm bed and sleep.
But no, we think that we have to go we have to feed our families, we have to earn money, we seriously have to earn money. And likewise, if we take the same same lead, you know, thinking for Fajr Salah for our author, we don't think about Fudger in the same way. But what I'm saying is that everything in this world, everything in this world
comes with a price. We have to struggle.
We have to struggle we have to try hard, right we need to try so this tongue as roll bit of it brothers and sisters we really need to strive it's going to be difficult, but just we need to you know sometimes we need to just the zip our tongues, it will Allah He by Allah and guaranteeing you for the sake of Allah you try it. I am guaranteeing you. Now you will find that if you have problems at home conflicts or home disputes at home, you just control your tongue. Seriously, you will really see the benefits of it, you will really see the benefits of it. You will see the benefits of it in your family you will avoid disputes. You will avoid friction you will avoid disputes at home if
you're married with your husband with your spouse. But remember, when we say seal the lips and control one's tongue, not in a sarcastic manner. I've always had this throughout the programs every day between 645 on a bar. Monday through Thursday, I've been talking about this. And I've always mentioned never do all of this sarcastically because that is also a form of retaliation. You know giving someone the silent
Treatment with a stuck up face when you no no like that. You just read you know when you have to say something you speak in a nice way. But anything that you don't think there's benefit in it, you just control your tongue. It will really save us from many conflicts, many conflicts yesterday, I gave you the story of the husband and wife, there used to be problems within their marriage because their mouths were very sharp. And specifically in that particular incident, it was the wife who was mainly at fault sometimes the husband sometimes the wife, but in that case, and you know, the chef said to them to get them to drink water and keep it in their mouth and the problems are solved. Really, it's
it's the mouth, we really need to control our tongues.
We really need to control our tongues.
And many problems that we find ourselves in are because of you know, being directly linked to the way we use our tongues. We don't preserve our tongues, slanderous language, you know, swearing slander, mocking people ridicule, lying, back biting, tail bearing, putting people down, taunting people, giving people gestures of something, making people listen about things. That's a really bad disease as well. You know, you're always trying to make them hear something. Oh, look, she does this for me. She did this for me. She did this for me. In other words, you know what, Jana, you can't do anything for me and she's doing it for me. Remember, it's all for the sake of Allah. But that's the
first issue that I talked about. If you do something good for someone, someone does it for you. That is for the sake of Allah. Don't expect anything from anyone and I discussed that as the first cause. The first topic that was discussed, but here we're talking about our tongues. We really need to be very careful about our tongues. All these you know, slander, swearing, see burble Muslim me for so on. The messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam said suburban Muslim pursue on what later Allah who got thrown that swearing at a Muslim is a grave act of sin. It's a grave act of sin
and return who confront and there are many Hadith talks about from the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa sallam, and I talked about Lachman of hacking yesterday. And yesterday I mentioned a couple of things, that two major things one is one is connected to the brothers and one is one is with the sisters, this idea and this habit of and this custom of gupshup
in inverted commas, seriously, we really need to avoid that unless you just follow along when it was sent. I'm actually in a hadith says an assembler better than Aisha, he said there is no gossiping after Isha, it's actually more cruel and disliked and sinful, if it's going to stop you and prevent you from offering pleasure Salah gossip, gupshup and gossip. gupshup is I think, are the majority. I don't know which language it is. But whatever language it may be in. And I said yesterday, there's actually a forum on the Internet called web shop forum Subhanallah you know, just go there to like, gossip. I mean, how do people have time to waste in futile discussion and gossip? Futile discussion?
awaring you know, we have these majorities these sessions is gatherings, brother, sometimes say it and have shisha and there's just wastage of precious time. Read a book, beneficial book, Islamic book or a non Islamic but there are so many non Islamic beneficial books that will help you in this life. And the next time we learn about something new, something for the community, for humanity help people but by Allah do not waste your precious time, dear brother or sister. So these gossiping gatherings that we have, we talk about people we talk ill about other people, we we talk we tell bear, and then this all leads to friction and dispute in a community. And that's why we have old
people's hearts are not with one another. There is no tranquility things are not tranquil. We don't have harmony within our societies and within our communities, even within our family members and relatives and relationships and cousins because when we get together we talk about people and I talked about the sisters yesterday the specifically sisters have the same but sisters more on the phone and the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam the Hadith that I mentioned yesterday specifically addressed the sisters reason being I mean the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is addressing the sisters there must be a reason behind that. Okay I'm not trying to say this the
brothers are better the sisters or brother is nothing like that. You know it's we have two genders and and you know, in a Muslim in our Muslim as well meaning our movement will only Tina will call it Laquan Treadwell harsh arena well harsh. Allah says the male believers female believers, male devout believers or the female devout believers, May those who
Fear Allahu a male those who fear Allah that a female whoever it is good. Whoever acquires Taqwa for the sake of Allah, and whoever lives a life of peace and harmony and tranquility and a life wherein they fulfill the rights of Allah and fulfill the rights of the ADA, the servants, then that person will achieve success and salvation, okay? It's not about being a man and it's not about being a woman. But there are certain sins that are more likely to be committed by men and there are certain sins by nature, more likely to be committed by sisters and there's a reason why the messenger said Allah Who lives and spoke directly to the sisters he addressed them. And he said, Yeah, Mascheroni,
sir I saw a lot of you in the fire of * and the reason why many women were in the fire of * is because he said took Thirunal Lana took 13 alanna. What a colonel Ashira because you curse you excessively curse and you mouth back at your husband. This is messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saying in a hadith not me saying to Colonel Lana, what a colonel Asherah so he addressed the sisters specifically on this occasion because he found in his time and he knew by nature that the way Allahu SubhanaHu dadas Christian women they are more prone to committing sins of the tongue, sins of the tongue, and they have this habit and this is really, really seriously we need to control this this
is really to control their mouths. Some sisters are Masha Allah the way Allah subhanaw taala has blessed them that they control the tongues and they are pious individuals. They are, um, you know, they their mouth is always in the remembrance of Allah in beneficial activities in beneficial conversation. Avoid backbiting the avoid tail bearing whatsoever totally. They would never speak ill of other people never talk bad about other people. That will never be disrespectful, they will never have slanderous language and slanderous conversation. They will never 20 People never and you have this as like that Masha Allah. But then we have sisters who, unfortunately are involved in these
kinds of sins. And they need to really, really think about it think about where they are, who they are, and where they are heading to, and how their relationship why they didn't you know, they're always involved in bickering. You know, there's bickering around and argumentation and why they find themselves daily. As I said in the beginning, that some of our communities and families are such that they are soap operas, one episode after another, one episode after another one episode after another every day, it's a new episode, it's a new scenario, it's a new scene, this person was not talking to her and she was not talking to him. And then he said something to him, and then the in
laws, and then the mother in law said something to the daughter in law. Oh, and then she said this, and then she said that it's just goes on and on and on and on till you die. And it's just, it just goes on and on. It's like a soap opera. And we don't have any energy left for a bad for worshipping Allah for doing beneficial activities in this life in the next life. Because we don't have time for anything else. Because the time that Allahu Subhana Allah has given us and blessed us where we've used it and utilize it in futile discussions and argumentation and just, you know, just arguing and debating and just bickering. bickering.
That in itself is a crime that we've wasted precious time that ALLAH SubhanA data has given us. So whether it's gatherings of gossip, or whether it's on the phone, sisters, and whether it's gatherings and sessions of gossipers, whatever it may be, I mentioned yesterday, even the phone utilizing less if you don't really need a mobile. And you might be thinking, what's this guy talking about? But if you don't really need a mobile then don't keep it I know people they don't seriously I know people.
I know people who don't keep mobiles. I know people in nest in this city that I am talking from. I know not all of you are listening from Leicester but I know people and even outside Leicester and outside England. I know people who who can live without a mobile phone without a cell phone, phone if you're in America and Canada. I know people
and they live a life
A life of more peace and tranquility maybe. So if you can avoid it Hamdulillah we were living 1510 1520 years ago without a mobile phone.
And if even if you want to keep it keep it at home. But the less we use phones the less we communicate we have means of communication, the more we will save ourselves restrict these means of communication for the genuine times and for real things of need.
Because we have these mobile phones 24 hours seven days a week with us. We sleep with it. Eat with it
and
Forgive me for saying we go to the toilet with it.
Some of some of us seriously do, you know in the, in the washroom in the toilet, texting around and talking, it's disliked, it's sinful. It's not right. It's Islamically. As I said the other day, the toilet we go there, and we come out of it as soon as possible. And we read the DUA Franek, Alhamdulillah Allah the other the annual other or our 30, we enter with dua, Allahumma inni, are all the becoming a hobo thi well. Easy. Why are you making the DUA is because it's a place of evil. It's a place where, and jinn and other types of creatures of Allah live. And it's not a place to relax. And as I said the other day, so, you know, don't take your phones here as well. But sometimes we
live with this phone, this mobile phone, which I have right now in my hand 24/7 We sleep with it under the pillow. Sometimes you should have your own time, you know, they say, meantime, have your own time, you know, switch your phone up for five hours, put it away. I say I don't want to talk to anyone who should do that in our lives. You know, I don't do it too much. But I do sometimes an afternoon, you know what I need to go to sleep and afternoon which is called a EULA, which is a sunnah of our beloved messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And I know some others, you know, friends of mine who do the same. It's a couple of hours to three hours. It's a special time in the
afternoon in the late afternoon, evening, where, because I've got a lot of things to do in the second part of the day, and I have things to do in the first part of the day. And I need to be refreshed for the second part of the day for a lot of work. So that time, it's my phone, I switch it off. Now, it doesn't matter how many people call me my phone's off, I don't want to know, I wonder I want to relax, I wouldn't arrest and then I eat, I relax. And then I wake up and pick my phone up and see if there's an 18 Missed calls or 18 people I'll go through them if there's anything important. I'll call them back when I need.
So
we need to have that kind of time as well. But what I was saying the phone it really it really makes us speak about things that we don't need to speak about.
And I mentioned yesterday that all these free minutes 500-600-1000 free minutes, what do I call them libre minutes backed by two minutes, tail bearing minutes gossiping minutes, talking about the whole world, everyone except our own cells. So we really need to preserve our tongues and there are many sins connected to the tongue that contribute to our family conflicts and problems, many sins.
Like for example, we all know, lying a major sin.
I'll tell you, we need to say the truth and that's a universal principle. You know, saying the truth. Nobody will. Nobody will disagree with you. That's important. But sometimes we don't speak the truth. And it's actually one of the signs of of being a hypocrite. A Munna a messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa early he was salam said
in a hadith one of the signs the signs of being a hypocrite are three and he mentioned the three is the the Hadith again what either what are the
two Mina Han will be waiting we're in sama was Sana was a never Muslim on Allah Akbar. You know this hadith brothers and sisters Subhan Allah and messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says the signs of a hypocrite sign of being a Munna a hypocrite. There are three signs. He said number one, when he speaks, he says a lie. He doesn't say the truth when he speaks he lies. Right? That's the first. That's the first sign. You see there's a contradiction. You see a Munna effect a hypocrite is the one the real winner is the one because what the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying here that you're still a believer, but you have resemblance with the real hypocrite hypocrite in terms of
his belief. So the real hypocrite, he has a contradiction. He has something else in his heart, but externally his his showing something else.
And so what I'm saying, this is a contradiction inside the heart here something else. And externally, externally, he shows and acts like a Muslim, but internally, he just believes so this is a contradiction. Likewise, these three things which the messenger sallallahu alayhi, wasallam, is saying in the Hadith are signs of a hypocrite because there's contradiction in it. It had data Kariba when he speaks, he lies. Now he's lying, because he believes one thing he's saying another.
Do you understand what I'm saying? He says he believes one thing and he's saying
and that's a contradiction. And that's a sign that's being a hypocrite. What you
Lie The second sign is when he makes a promise he breaks that promise. He promises do one thing and then he goes against it. It's there's a contradiction. Why the two minute corner the third sign is when he's made
a trustworthy person when he is given a trust. Someone says Look, can I trust you with this with this confirmation with this sorry, information with this item? Can you Can I put it in your trust? He breaches that trust. These are the signs of being a hypocrite. And then you know what the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the in the Hadith variation of the Sahai of my Muslim. Listen to this carefully, he said what insomma was Salah was the armor, and no Muslim one, even if he was to offer his salah, even if he is someone who fasts, even if you fast and prays, and claims that he is a Muslim, this individual has signs of being a hypocrite, scary Hadith and we really need
to take heed. So lying,
lying, we really need to preserve our tongues from lying, lying contributes majorly, if you lie with people around you at home, because people trust you, once they find out that you're lying, you've broken that trust, and once you've betrayed them, and once that trust has room been removed, that's it. Then thoughts come in and mine and then that's it, it's you you've you've just laid the laid the seed
of friction. So lying plays a major role in causing friction, disputes, problems, conflict, fights, argumentation, and that's why the messengers are Allahu Allah is even the Hadith sahih al Bukhari he said, you know, we know Rajul, Allah Yaqoob had directive and Allah He could verb and a man lies and then he lies and then he keeps on lying. And then a liar becomes such a big liar that even by Allah, He is written as a liar, by Allah subhanaw taala. And aka he'll be known by a liar, this individual was a liar. Right? So we really need to avoid lying, sometimes certain times, yes, it is permissible on certain occasions. And you know, there are certain rules for it when somebody is oppressed
greatly, and he's trying to save his life etc. But for that you need to speak to scholars and reputable amount of knowledge and wisdom and patience speak to them. But generally lying we need to avoid lying is a major sin.
Major sin one of the enormities Kabaya. You know, we have the major sins Gabbar enormities, it's from the enormities line. I remember, there are different forms of line brothers and sisters that are different forms of lying, not just lying from the tongue, different forms of lying.
There are there are right lying with the right with our writing as well.
Sometimes we present false medical certificates, that's like Tom, we write false medical certificates, lying forged certificates in examinations and tests lying for employment. Actually, you know, even a job you might do, you might even be haram, you might be earning haram money because of presenting forged certificates for employment, lying at a time of engagement.
Just be clear, just be truthful, you will save a lot of problems in your life. People lie at the time of engagement. I mean, I'm not saying you need to disclose all your past that's another issue. And again, you need to speak to a scholar by that you don't really need to but if so if you're asked about something clear cut, and you lie, then that's not that's not on, lying in the courts, giving false testimony, false witnessing, you know, false witnessing, it's major sin, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said in the Hadith,
he was sitting, leaning back and then suddenly the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi salam stood up and he said, Allah wa shahada to Zou, shahada to Zoo false testimony. It's from the major sins giving a witch and being a false witness and giving false testimony.
Haram absolutely sinful nature. These are all different forms of lying. Don't even lie with your children.
There's a hadith and Sunnah be that would soon enough Al Imam Abu Dawood Rama hula, but the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saw a woman and a mother. She had her son and she said, you know, son, come here. Let me give you some dates. Let me give you some dates. She had some, you know, her hands. You know, as he fist closed. The messenger sallallahu alayhi. Salam said to her, Sister, do you really have dates to give to your son? She said, Yes, you said Alhamdulillah. That's good. Otherwise, if you didn't if you were just lying to call you towards yourself, then you would have been it should have been written in your book of deeds that this person has committed the sin
of
lying. You can't even lie to your kids and your children. Really you can't. And, you know, if we do lie then what example? Are we setting to them? We want our children to be truthful and if we lie to them or in front of them in their presence,
then what example are we giving to our children? We say one thing and then we get to them and we do that same thing. You know, son, don't smoke don't smoke and you've got a massive cigar and pipe in your mouth. It's bad to smoke come on. That's that's making making a joke out of this that really you know, it's really appropriate
someone comes to your house and I mentioned this last year in you know, the radio Ramadan programs, I had the Bookman edible Islam.
We discussed all these etiquettes of visiting and being a guest and entertaining someone and then entering the door and all of that, if you remember last year before thought, but I mentioned this in and it came in that book that sometimes if someone knocks on our doors and we say to our son or daughter was sent our children talent, Dad's not in and you're relaxing inside the house.
It's not right to go outside the house, or you know, just be you need to be straightforward. Straight to the point in a nice way, gentle way, but be truthful and open about things. If we are opening our lives Shala we will save save ourselves from a lot of problems. So yeah, we send our sons that go and tell who's at the door you look from the window Oh, I don't want to see him. He's come to ask for his debt. Number one, if it's due, you're committing that major sin you need to pay his money back. That's number one. But we look we don't want to meet him. It's going to tell you this is my dad's not at home. Now you tell me a time comes when this child grows up. And you tell
him that lying is not a good thing. He's smoking his in drugs and his lying to you saying tell the truth. How can you lie to your dad? He'll be thinking you know what? You're the one who taught me to be a liar. Thieves that's what he thinks you might not say it but he that's what he's going to think about in his in his mind. So our children we need to make them good. You know, we need to upbring them in a nice Islamic way that'll be so online has to be completely, completely avoided, totally whatsoever. Our mouth we need to safeguard them from line. Reba another thing we need to save ourselves from veba, backbiting and Wallahi sisters and brothers, I think Riba is one of the main
reasons of friction and problem backbiting, talking about ill about other people and I've talked about the Riba a lot of times, so I don't want to go into the details of Riba. Many numerous ayat of the Quran verses of the Quran. Many Hadith of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam talking ill about other people, whether they have you know, if they have that illness in them that bad quality, and that's what is that's what what's called a Riba in Canada Fiammetta all of the way lemmya confy Hema Taqwa advocate batha the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says it says in the Hadith, that if you talk bad about someone about something that they really do possess then that is
what is called Aviva backbiting. And if they don't have that which you're talking about, then that is false accusation button, which is another major sin. So Hebrew is really bad. And we really need two brothers and sisters, as I said is long phone calls a libre upon arriba upon arriba. Some of us brothers and sisters, we our conversations cannot move forward. Except with riba. Seriously, it's a major problem. Some of us we cannot talk.
If we avoid riba then you know that 20 minute half an hour conversation, we would have nothing to say. We will just be left with two minutes because 28 minutes was backbiting about her and about this cousin sister and that auntie and this grandma and that uncle and her niece and his nephew and his husband, sorry, her husband and his wife and the sister in law and the mother in law there and that's a gossiping around and you know, she said this and all but yeah, the wedding and then did you see that she had a very stuck a face. Oh, did that she didn't talk to her properly. And you know, you know, she was like properly you know, she was you know, making you listen about something. And
that's the episode after episode after episode after episode scene after scene after scene until death do you part? Hello. It's so saddening, I really feel that it's sad. It's sad.
We're wasting our time.
You've come back from any kind of gathering straightaway talking to one another about phone and talking to one another about this and that woman in this system that says turn that brother avoided for the sake of Allah avoided his EBA Remember, it's absolutely