Mufti Menk – Who pays the dowry – The bride or groom?

			Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh my brothers and sisters, in Islam we have something known
as Mr. Amar does not translate as a dowry, but it is a form of a gift that is given by the groom to
the bride. And it is the sole belonging of the bride, she owns it completely. No one has a say in
what should happen in it besides her, it should be paid it is payable. If someone doesn't pay it,
she does have the right to get that marriage at some point, nullified, if that's what she wants.
Now, what we need to realize is, there are certain people who follow cultures and traditions beyond
that. So anything that's coming from the bride to the groom, is actually a cultural or a traditional
		

			thing. What some cultures have done, they've made it so difficult for people to get married, that
they asked the bride's father to give a lot of money or a lot of things to the groom, and they call
it a dowry. islamically that is not something taught by the Quran or the sun or the practice of the
prophets are seldom or the Sahaba or the earliest generations, may Allah be pleased with them. So
remember that what is taught by the Quran and Sunnah is that the male has to give the female the
groom has to give the bride an amount which is known as the mark it will be determined by the
bride's family. And she is owed it Subhanallah she is owed that. And mostly it is paid.
		

			At the time of the niqab or the officiating of the marriage at times it is agreed that payment will
be later. Sometimes it is waived by the bride and she is the only one who can actually waive that at
that point.
		

			And we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to guide us all the reason why I'm mentioning this is because of
late, there have been a lot of people saying that the bride or the groom so much, you need to buy
the groom, for example, a house, or furniture or a car or a mobile phone or whatever. There is no
such condition in Islam. Islam teaches you exactly what I've told you. The rest of it would be a
cultural form of gifting. And the gift, as you know is something that comes from the heart.
Sometimes people in those cultures look forward to a lot of money. And they want to basically seize
the opportunity to sell the the person by gaining things you say if I'm not going to get this, I'm
		

			not giving you my daughter, well, why are you sending your child Islam doesn't teach that. May Allah
bless us all. May Allah grant us the ability to love our children enough to get them married to good
people, even if we're not going to gain financially from it. In fact, you're not supposed to be
looking at financial gain at all. But you're supposed to be looking at whether the person is good.
They have the connection with Allah, they have good character and conduct. Let it happen. That is
when you will achieve success in this world and the next Allah bless us all Assalamu alaikum
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh