Mufti Menk – Transform Your Life – Habit Building Strategies
AI: Summary ©
The importance of learning from one's child and not letting oneself get used to certain activities is emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the need for parents to teach children good behavior and avoid distractions, and the importance of healthy habits and reward points. The speaker also discusses the negative impact of drugs on children, and encourages parents to quit drinking and avoid touching things that make one feel sad. The importance of avoiding bad habits and working on habits to eliminate them is emphasized, and the need to stop drinking and avoid touching things that make one feel sad is also emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu
Smilla he will Hamdulillah he was Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah he were Allah Allah, he was IBH mine. Again, I'm excited to be here in Luton, the last time I told you how excited I was. And so Allah Almighty has given us another opportunity to meet and some of us I've actually seen faces of some who were here in the last event that we had here in Luton, So alhamdulillah it's good to note,
my brothers and sisters, may Allah make it easy for all those who are not married to get married, say I mean
people are excited they look for spouses and family members look for spouses for them sometimes mashallah, you know, unsuspecting, Alhamdulillah. And Allah sent someone over, and here goes and everything starts happening. It's a gift of Allah, we are taught to look for a spouse, we're taught, no matter how much you feel that I don't want to get married, I don't need to be in the company of someone whose responsibility I will have or who might tell me what to do and what not to do to a degree or who might have a say in my life, this is what's happening. Now. Allah says with all of that, you still should be thinking of marriage and wanting to get married and I know from amongst
us, they are perhaps many who are married. So this part of the message would be for those who are not, may Allah make it easy, you know, usually when we say May Allah get you married? Some of the guys who are already married are the loudest amines you get and you wonder why on earth are they the ones who are saying I mean, but they married already? May Allah subhanahu wa taala make it easy, you know, men, quite difficult to change them may Allah Subhana Allah to Allah grant us ease. The reason I start this way is once you get married, and after some time, you start looking forward to having children
and Allah blesses some with only males, some with only females, some with male and female and some without any children. He knows why, and he knows what is the best for you. Leila Haman, Kusama.
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to Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates whatever He wishes yeah Hubballi me SHA in as well. Yeah, have only me I SHA will look cool. We use a widow whom look on
in as well. Yeah. JOHN NORMAN Yasha Joaquim. He grants whomsoever He wishes, females only He grants whomsoever He wishes, males only or he can give both male and female or he keeps you without having male or female. May Allah Almighty grant us whatever is best for us, and May He make us pleased with what he has granted us. The point is, after a while you look forward to having children and mashallah in the case of the majority, you have children.
And when you have children, there is a humongous responsibility. Because if you don't realize, at that point, you begin to develop a sense of responsibility. This is my child I need my life changes, my work will change, my timing will change my getting up and sleeping will change, everything changes. And it needs to be that both spouses are involved. One will obviously be involved a little bit more being the mother. The reason is the mother breastfeeds the child the mother perhaps does a lot more for the child being the one who carried the child for nine months. And this is why the mother earns a higher level when it comes to the deserving of the kindness of the child than the
Father. When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked
man up canasa Bihu snails Betty, he said oh MK, who from my parents? Or who from the people at large? Anyone and everyone who is the most deserving of my kind companionship, he said your mother.
And then he was asked, and then who he said your mother. And then he was asked and then whom he said your mother. And then he was asked and then whom? Your father.
Basically the father was almost out in the
in the veranda May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us ease your mother you should be kind to your mother come with me. No matter what has happened even if she is not a Muslim, you kind to your mother kindness is a duty and the Prophet peace be upon him repeated thrice. It doesn't mean you obey where there is
An instruction that is displeasing to Allah because Allah comes first. But nearly everything else, consider what your mother is saying, consider her feelings and consider so much more. Nonetheless, the mother has earned the status. It's not free, it doesn't just come from nothing. The mother earned the status by carrying you for so long by looking after you by breastfeeding, you perhaps are just feeding you, or looking after you in a way that no one else has looked after you.
So that's there. Today, we honor the mothers may Allah Almighty bless them all, make it easy for everyone who's a mother, may Allah Almighty grant you a rank that is beyond your imagination. I mean,
thereafter, the child begins to grow. And as the child is growing, you witness the child starting to speak sometimes a little bit delayed sometimes a little bit early. There is no specific time when your child should or shouldn't speak. Some people say my child spoke at six months yours it's been one and a half years not speaking, you know what the true answer is? Just as well. They're not speaking one and a half, they will be speaking for the rest of their lives they'd rather started to.
The same applies to walking, not every child walks some people, some children are born walking, they come out of their mothers rooms. And next thing they run into the other side of the of the of the room. May Allah grant us he's okay. That's a bit of an exaggeration. But you know what I mean, right? That some are walking from a young age, I'd rather someone walks, average, not necessarily the first year of life, or not necessarily the six months or whatever. But whenever ALLAH wills, the child will walk some walk a little bit later, they're going to walk all their lives anyway. So on Hamdulillah, it's a good thing. I remember a mother whose child delayed in walking compared to the
others, they say the norm the average to me, there's no average. It's, it's there. And so the mother developed a response because people say, Oh, your child doesn't walk. But so she says, You know what, I'm blessed to be able to carry this child. Because when they grow a little bit older, I won't be able to carry them anyway. That's a good answer. It's a coping mechanism. When people ask you questions of that you don't know the answer of oh, that's embarrassing sometimes, because maybe you know the answer. But you don't need to tell everyone like when are you having children? What do you mean, when am I having children? It's up to Allah. It's not like I'm doing something not to have
children. It's an embarrassing question. Don't ask questions that are embarrassing, think and be sensitive. So as the child grows, the child will begin to develop so many things. You as a parent, and I'm talking here to both parents and those who are surrounding be the uncles or siblings, whoever it may be. We need to start teaching the child good things That's our duty Unto Allah the Creator. Ask those who don't have children, how much they pray to have children.
You pray for your child, those who are expecting they pray that Allah make the child normal, Allah make the child God Allah may. Where is Allah in the equation when it comes to dressing the child when the child is little? Where is Allah in the equation when it comes to teaching the child from the time the child is in the womb and even later on? Sometimes we listen to things that are displeasing to Allah, not realizing the child is picking up on all of this. You know, what beats me is when you witness little kids, Muslim kids from Decent Homes at times, on Tik Tok, showing the dance moves that take a long time to master and they've mastered them, but they can't read surah Al
Fatiha I'm not saying if you can read Surah Fatiha go into those moves. No. But what I am saying is come on Muslims, we don't know how long we're going to live. We don't know how long the child is going to survive. Imagine if the child for example, had to go back to Allah in infancy innocent child, it reflects poorly on those around the child if they haven't yet taught the child a few words of who Allah is, or something that would help them connect to Allah. May Allah Almighty make it easy for us. So if your child is growing and the first words they can read are that of Surah Al Fatiha, the average Muslim should be proud of that.
When I say this, I mean, we should be saying mashallah my child read surah, Al Fatiha And Alhamdulillah the child is saying the F car and the child is doing this and doing that in terms of goodness, rather than all these moves and everything that's really hectic. I wonder sometimes how somebody told me, I asked one person, they told me Look, there's only 50 moves. You got to know each move and where it goes. I said come on 50 moves. You got to know the order and the sequence and the left and the right and the movement and what do you achieve from all of that you just moving yourself? That's it. Just moving? To me it looks foolish, but I don't know other people say Wow, did
you see that? They can do the whole thing.
To me, you can read surah Allah, Allah, Oh, I'd say,
the child can actually read the whole of surah Allah commercia Allah, there's a sense that at the end, just teach them the sujood as well May Allah Almighty make it easy for all of us. So Allah does things Allah connects us to the child for a reason. The reason is, he holds you responsible at that point for everything that you're going to be filling in this child that is actually given to you as a hard drive formatted. You are going to put in the applications you're going to put in whatever else you're going to put in the images, you're going to put in the videos you're going to put in the sounds you're going to put in every program that's there, the antivirus and whatever else, it's up
to you how you're going to fill this beautiful soul and this human being
Subhanallah so if you're going to fill the child with goodness, inshallah goodness will come out I'm not saying entertainment is haram. No, it is permissible, but unconditioned. It's not displeasing to Allah. You can't teach little children the lyrics of today that are filled with F's and B's and Zeds and w's.
I'm sure you know what the F's and B's are right? You know what the zits and w's are? You don't. Brother Rahim says he doesn't Don't worry, I don't either. They just anticipated swear words to come in future. May Allah forgive us. Nonetheless, that's what it is.
So we are we are duty bound. Allah Almighty wants us to div to help the child develop good habits. Habit development is something amazing because the human being is created in a unique way. If you get used to something, Allah will make your body such that it will become accustomed to it even without reminder, give you an example of Salat al Fajr. If you get used to getting up at a certain time, every single day, Wallah he five minutes before your clock would actually your alarm would actually, you know, go off or ring, you would be up and you'd be looking for your mobile or you'd be looking for your alarm to turn it off five minutes before why because your body is built in a way
that when you develop a habit, it will actually become used to it. And it will give back to you something almost on the button.
as per what you got it used to. You get used to looking down whenever you have to look down, you get used to not involving in something you get used to. I'm gonna say something interesting. You get used to not eating foods you've been used to eating simply because you need to lose weight. You begin to dislike the sugar in your tea. There's a lot of us like this, right? We couldn't survive without sugar we had to shoot some had three sugars. I remember an aunt a friend of my mother's she used to come in and salam ala, how are you and she's greeting everyone. And she's just putting sugar upon sugar when we were little kids looking and saying gosh, what's going on? She she'd rather just
put a few drops of tea in the whole bowl of sugar. You know, you're having tea in your sugar or sugar in your tea and we used to say and later on she developed a sickness I mean May Allah cure her is still alive.
But what happened thereafter
a person gets used to cutting it down for the sake of Your Health cutting it down for the sake of your betterment. And so many of us myself included I can no longer have two sugars in my tea not even two I have no sugar or perhaps one if really I need it. That's it. I can't eat as many chocolates as I used to when I was little why I got myself used to it I didn't I forced myself initially because I know this is not good not that I've got a disease may Allah grant cure to everyone who might be sick and ill in whatever way they may be. As we as you guys were entering here, one of the young girls tells me pray for my father he's not well He's in hospital, may Allah
grant him cure. May Allah grant him cure May Allah grant him miraculous cure and not just him. But all those who are sick and ill. I mean
so what I mean here is for our health, we are prepared to do things we become used to it. Imagine the doctor tells you, you're not going to survive unless you cut out red meat, what's going to happen? You're going to cut it out.
Allah telling you you want Jana you're gonna have to cut out x y and Zed which is bad for you anyway, then we have a problem we still thinking about it. Yeah, maybe Wallah he, it's better to cut out what Allah tells you regarding the hereafter than the red meat that you already so willingly cut out just for the next few years that you're going to live it difference but which one is more important?
So to develop a habit we will definitely need to work hard. If you look at Islam, it rotates around discipline. Allah wants you to get up at a certain time. Do Salah at Sur
10 times Allah Almighty wants you to fast the month of Ramadan to discipline yourself 30 days I'm not allowed to do this and this What's wrong with normal water? Nothing. It's not alcoholic, it's not haram. It's not something that has some ingredient in it that I need to stay away from. But Allah says stay away from it. morning to evening.
Why? Because I said so.
And I will make it such that you'll enjoy staying away from it. And I will give you a reward at the end of the day and I will give you a reward at the end of the month and I will give you a bigger reward when you meet with me. That's a hadith. A person who fasts has a blessed moment at the time of Iftar Farah it's termed Farhad. You know what Farhat means happiness? Happiness about what? Well, a lot of us is just that I can finally eat.
That's happiness, isn't it? It tastes much better than it did before Ramadan. I promise you because you're hungry. You know, when you're hungry. Things you never ate, you'd eat and say Mashallah. tastes quite good, man. That's because there was nothing else there and you were so hungry.
But on a normal day, you wouldn't even want to look in the direction of those things. Right? You wouldn't know I remember one day. I was very, very hungry. And I had some beef. Thinking it was beef cooked at home.
Turns out it was oxtongue
it tasted yummy. Amazing. I wouldn't eat it again. Why? Because I found out it was oxtongue I stopped. But it was so good. So nice. So what's the problem? I don't know. I just got a thing. oxtongue I don't want to have it. To this day. It's not like it's haram or Halal is halal. Without a joke. But if someone doesn't like something, no matter how tasty it is, or for whatever reason, I know one of my family members used to love still probably loves to eat what's known as tripe. You know, it's tripe, the lining of the stomach of the world. I don't even want to say it.
Say it, Allahu Akbar. Allah forgive you my brother and me.
But there goes Do you like it?
You don't then let me not say it inshallah. Okay, but some like it some said Yes. Isn't it? Oh, Mashallah. See the elderly focusing? Yes, yes. Because they know, you see, they're healthy and they're a little bit older. It's full of nutrients, apparently. But so what if I mean, it might be tasting as yummy as it is a little toweling sort of thing before you cook it and after you've cooked it. I don't know what it tastes like because I haven't yet tasted it. But I know people who love it, they will Oh, Mashallah. Yummy, yummy. And so on. When I was in Saudi Arabia, I saw them eating locusts, literal locusts, selling the 420 rial, the kilo a kilo. And I'm like, gosh, come to Africa
we become millionaires. Mashallah, Mashallah. Allah Almighty, has created us in a way that when you get used to something, you enjoy it, you made yourself used to it, you got yourself used to it. Others may not be used to what you are used to. But bottom line, there are two things that which Allah has made an obligation you need to force yourself to get used to it without that it's not coming. If you need to know I need to achieve something before I meet Allah without you making an effort. It's not happening. Your body is made in a way that if you do not push yourself to achieve what you know is benefit beneficial for you. Whether it is for this world or the next or both, you
will not be able to achieve it. It is Allah MA and Farrokh was in Billa, he well attaches the Prophet salallahu Salam says work hard towards achieving that, which is beneficial for you seek the help of Allah and don't be lazy. Go for it work hard again. And again. And again, I need to do this for the sake of Allah. I'm going to try it. I faltered, I try again, I faulted I try again, you try 50 times 100 times after that, it will become such a habit that you won't even let go of it. You won't even let go of it, it will become second nature.
Subhanallah so if something is an obligation upon you, make sure you do it for the sake of Allah, such as fasting. Such as, for example, I'm talking of the month of Ramadan, such as, for example, Salah the prayer, such as giving some people become so attached to the well they can't give. They can't give an Allah says the only way that you're going to get is to give Subhanallah you really want to get you're going to give. If you're going to amass you're not going to get Do you know why? It is quite a simple explanation to that.
When I give to causes I'm literally decreasing figure the figure that I hold. But where is it stored? It's stored in the bank of the giver of everything in the first place. And he says to us spend an hour spend on you. So now that you gave he needs to replenish your entire system. Do you reckon he's gonna give you one for one, he's the Lord of the worlds the most kind, the most generous, he's going to give you 100 For one
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One, minimum 10 For one, come on, I'm going to deposit it in his bank SubhanAllah. I'm going to deposit it in a cause that is pleasing to Him. It's tough. It's hard. The hadith says the Hadith says, the best charity you can ever give is that which you give when you're fearing poverty, but hoping for the Mercy of Allah, fearing poverty means this is my last 100 pounds. Here's 20 pounds going, Allahu Akbar, what's left at, but I did it hoping that inshallah someone needs it more than I do. I'm not a Sahabi or a companion, to just say, Okay, I've just got 100 years 100 You know, that's it. But at least I can give instead of the 2%, I'm giving 20%. And here goes, may Allah have mercy
on me, I'm reaching out to people who need more, for example, and then you watch what Allah does, maybe not immediately, but there will come a time when when Allah He you sit back. And if someone like myself gets up and reminds you, where were you? And where are you now? Are you not in a better financial condition than before? How was your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather? How were they? What was their condition? could they afford even a fraction of what you can afford today? In the answer, in the case of the majority is no. So has Allah not blessed you, you now have for example,
things that they wouldn't have even thought of?
Is that not correct? Where did it come from? Well, it came from Allah He gave people worked hard, people were charitable and so on. So to give you need to push yourself, it becomes nature. The minute you hear, of course, immediately, you know, I'm going to give five pounds, I'm going to give 10 I'm going to give whatever I can, I'm going to give 100 Depending on how much you have. Right? So to develop these habits, Allah has created us in a way that if you don't work hard, it's not going to come. Those who are fortunate are the ones whom from a young age, I was talking about childhood, their parents have instilled within them beautiful habits. Congratulations to you and your parents.
For an people don't read Quran. We have a habit developing Quran app for example, such as
Who knows?
Currently, Quran Li, habit developing, it's a beautiful habit developing app, it prompts you it gives you beautiful, you know, suggestions, it shows you some reward reward in the sense that it's just working it out average Allah, Allah knows the exact reward but it's letting you know it shows you others who are also reading in your circles. And it helps you develop the habit. There comes a time when you no longer need it. Because you know, what is your habit anyway? You no longer needed but initially, you needed something to push you. There are some are a lot from amongst us still, whose parents inculcated it from a young age. Listen, every day, we're going to get a feature, we're
going to read a beautiful story. You know, when I was little, my eldest brother had the habit. The habit was gather us around after Salat Al Maghrib. And read from a book, something to do with Islam. There was only one problem he read and read and kept on reading and reading until we began to yearn. We were tired, some of us fell off to sleep. And that's why we developed a little bit of a distance and we tried to duck and dive because anytime he was looking for us to say, Come, let's read and we were like nowhere to be found in the bathroom a little bit too long. Sometimes you somewhere else and used to because why you need to know the kids of today they want two minutes, five minutes,
that's enough. I mean, I'm gonna sit here and talk to you half an hour, 40 minutes, I can't go on and on all night, people are gonna say we're sitting around the tables, there's water, there's cutlery, there's everything ready. And this guy is just talking and talking don't go hungry man. Right? You have to know the moment but we these habits were developed. So if you have two minutes of Quran everyday in the home, the kids will come happily and you reward them for it. And as you help them develop these habits, Allah will give you Paradise because you helped develop the habits of your kids, and it becomes a sadaqa jariya each time they open the Quran for the rest of their lives
even after you've died, you get the full reward because you're the one who developed the habit in the first place. That's why for us as adults or parents to help others develop habits, especially our own children, we achieve a reward that is unmatched, unmatched, and we continue receiving it even in our graves and guess what if they were to have children ought to have circles of people whom they helped as a result of you helping them the list is endless. It goes on and on and on the generation after the generation for as long as they continue the habit that you started.
And if it was started by your parent or grandparent or a teacher, then even going backward, they all achieving a reward. Look at Allah. Look at how much of emphasis He's given us to develop good habits.
Those who have parents who have done this for them, man
sha Allah, congratulations to all of those, the parents, the children and everyone who was taught in a good way.
May Allah Almighty make it easy. May Allah Almighty help us to be role models to our own children.
And so as you grow older, unfortunately, certain things happen. What are they? Sometimes you send the child to school and they go back, come back with a little cigarette stub in the back in the bag. You know, when we were kids, we used to look at these kids, I'm talking 1975. So
so so you see these cigarette stubs. Some of them are burning. Some of the uncles used to throw them and then stamp on them, you know, like, and some of them is just throw them.
And when they used to stamp them was to get upset a stamp that didn't come on, gosh, it's gone.
And when they when they still alive, you start wondering looking and then we tell each other no, It's haram, come on, you can't do that. No, no, somebody's mouth, the guy's put into his mouth. Yuck. So all sorts of excuses and Alhamdulillah. We were saved from it. But there were other kids who used to go and actually take them and stuff.
What are you doing? Oh, it's just then the other youngster comes in says, No, that's not how it is. You got to take into your lungs, see what take into your lungs. And then it comes out. You can even take it out of your ears. I know when we were kids, we heard everything. But trust me, there was one uncle who used to take it out of his ears. I don't know if you've ever seen that happening. Don't laugh, guys. You can Google it.
I don't know how they develop first the nose. And then they can make these circles coming out and whatever else. That doesn't mean I enjoyed it, right? No, does it mean it's halaal? I'm only telling you shaytan comes even in circles. Okay.
So so basically,
here you have children who were caught because they saw things and they were inquisitive. But because sometimes the parents might not have noticed what was going on. They develop these bad habits. And unfortunately, in today's world, what happens at a very young age they become and this is a fact they become
what can I say they they are prone to the surroundings where drugs is happening.
Drugs is being taken. Or
the little weed is being puffed or smoked, or sometimes glue. I know in some in our country, there is something that they sniff at a young age and that's glue. Do you just sniff glue and you're a little bit high? How did it feel? It's a nice thing come try. Let me they put it into a little packet and they start. I don't even want to teach you how to do it. Sorry.
But yes, that's what happens. They become
little children, innocent children who now have
interacted with something that they're not supposed to have. But that's part of growing up. I think in some instances, it's our duty to keep
an eye
but my beloved children Don't let this happen to you. Wallahi as little as you may be listening to me today or later on Don't allow yourself to fall or slide into bad habits. That is something bad drugs we don't do. gangsterism we don't do we don't get involved in it as much as people try and they try hard. It's better to be alone, clean than to be with a group of people all on drugs. Because that's the beginning of the end of a lot. Who knows if you're going to come out of it. We've got people who've come out Alhamdulillah in their 1000s but we've got others in their millions who haven't come out and then they start justifying it. It's okay why it's only we'd only we'd only we
eat are you sure? Yes, it's only weed
and then they justify it and then you have adults grown up I tell people don't even smoke. There was a young lady who came up to me and said you know what, I want to get married to this guy. Beautiful guy. He needs five Salah a day. Amazing character everything is beautiful. The only thing is he smokes cigarettes. I said no, it's a screen he probably does we'd ask him
she said No, he doesn't I trust him. Okay, ask him so she comes back to me some time later and says Guess what? He does weed
How did you get that out of him? Well, I told him listen, I swear by Allah and whatever else she told me you know people have their way of extracting the information
is it just a cigarette or do you do it?
Somehow it came out Yes, we'd sit okay you lie to me so we did but it's only we look everyone does it all these friends of mine all I didn't know the whole lot of them do it. So now what are you going to do? He says But I promise you by Allah I'm going to quit it.
So then she says look, I really love this guy. It's a bit too late in the you're not yet married, but you've already invested your emotions in something. You're going to justify it. I really love this guy. And he's
He promised me that he's going to quit it inshallah. So I think we should get this marriage done. I said, it's up to you, but I have personally, I would say, clean for six months, then we can talk clean for six months, then we can talk not that I'm gonna get married to you. And thereafter you're going to do it. Do it now, right now. And then I want to talk my beloved boys and girls, we have to quit these habits because we're going to have children who are going to have worse habits, and they're going to have children who are going to have ridiculous habits whom that we probably wouldn't imagine even existed today. There are things happening today I wouldn't have imagined when
I was a little bit younger, that would happen I promise you so absurd that I can't even talk about it. And they are people prodding them along to say no, it's normal. It's okay It's natural. You free free wow. Free means you free to enter Jahannam isn't it?
That's not how it should be. You should be honest, listen, this is a bad habit. That's it it's a terrible habit. Don't smoke don't this don't and my brothers and sisters perhaps they are from amongst you those who might be smoking a cigarette? Don't you know it's a bad habit? You know it is am I right?
At least one was honest enough to say yes. The others are quietly saying Oh no, he's starting to attack us this is not what I'm here for this evening. Right? No, no, no, I'm not attacking anyone. It's It's love. That's what it is. We know it's we know that we have bad habits I have some bad habits try to work on them inshallah. But at the same time, if you're not going to be strong and quit these things, Wallahi it may result in your ultimate downfall. The sister ended up getting married. Turns out the brother was on much more than weed.
And I don't mean to do it. I'm talking about
talking about something hectic man. Subhanallah May Allah Almighty forgive us. And then the heartbreak and then so on. And then she was expecting already and then something happened. And then the child in the scan the child had a hole in the heart may Allah grant cure to everyone who is sick and ill in every way anyone going through challenges, but some of the sometimes what happens is when people go on to heavy drugs, at times, they say it firstly destroys your reproductive system before anything else. So why should I even do that? Why should I even go into that? Wouldn't you like a pure beautiful clean reproductive system where you know, you have children and mashallah
Alhamdulillah you are, if something didn't happen the way it should you relate it to Allah, but at least No one blames something about you and I may Allah subhanahu wa taala strengthen us. We have to develop habits. Inshallah, that will be amazing. And we have to help our children and my beloved children. Don't get into these habits. And if you have, get out of it as soon as you can, because you still need to grow older, you need to succeed in life, you need to be able to earn, you need to worship Allah because you don't know how long you're going to live for. You're going to go back to Allah. At least if you went back to Allah with a few good habits or fighting a bad habit, Allah
would record that. And he knows this person died, while trying his best to please me to leave and quit something that was displeasing to me. That's a bonus. I'd rather die trying to quit something displeasing to Allah than die, being involved in it in a way that I don't give a damn. May Allah Almighty strengthen all of us. Ask parents whose children are involved in some of these bad habits, how they have sleepless nights. So my beloved children don't allow this to happen to you, be strong come out of it.
Life is filled with so many problems. So many challenges. This is the last thing you need. The last thing you ever need is to slide into habits that are going to perhaps destroy your future. How many people have no future because you know what, even if they're working in work hard as soon as they earn
all that money is gone into haram.
All of the money, it's either gone into drugs, it's gone into alcohol, it's gone into gambling, unfortunately, it's gone into illicit affairs, perhaps and this is the truth. It's happening. People go into I know of married guys, who won't spend a penny on their wives and children, but they spend the entire packet on a mistress, the whole packet, where did it go? Well, it went and then suddenly you find out after some time, you know what this is where it's going, sometimes not one, but 10. May Allah Almighty forgive us, may Allah strengthen them and all of us to do the right thing all the time.
So this is why we say when you haven't worked on your habit, you're not going to go far in life. You need to do two things, work hard to develop correct habits and work hard to eradicate bad habits. And this is how we as human beings have been created. You know, when a person does something wrong for the first time, the first time they do something wrong displeasing to Allah. If it's the first time in your life, you're doing it, you feel a sense of regret and remorse, which is a good sign
I mean, it's a sign you're connected to Allah. But thereafter, if you allow yourself to do it again, the remorse is one notch lower. Again, it becomes another notch lower again, it becomes another notch lower. Again, it's like, I have it, that's it, I no longer pray stone for Allah. Because you know what I just can't do it not you can't do it you got you got yourself used to not doing it or a person says I can't leave alcohol, I can't do that I can't leave adultery, I can't. That's because you just got yourself used to it and you develop a habit, you need to come out of it and come out of it. Like * for example, people say I just can't let go, I have to a month passes and I
just have to go and search. And I have to check because you know what it's like I need the boost.
Boost boost from shaitan. I will do Billa you need to be strong. And then when you're strong, you may fall come out of it quickly. So that you your system gets used to coming out every time you fell. Rather than looking forward to the sin. There's a big difference. One is I look forward to doing this every so often. And the other is I don't look forward to doing it. But when I fall I look forward to repenting to Allah and coming back even if it means 50 times because the 60 F time you're going to reduce it, it's going to stop it's going to come somewhere else. Allah will send you a gift in the form of a scare either health or either they call it a near miss. You perhaps almost died on
the M one. But you didn't that was Allah saying, Just give up your *. Allahu Akbar,
Allahu Akbar.
I was one example. But in everyone's life, it's different examples just give this thing up. That was Allah. If you didn't understand that tapping, then you heading in the wrong direction. Sometimes we need to rectify something within ourselves to say I need to change this. I need to develop this. I need to we know sometimes the way I dress might not be ideal. Everyone has weaknesses. I have weaknesses we all do. Sometimes Allah reminds us to say Come on, you can do better you can inch forward you can come you can come you know closer to us and closer and closer and Allah creates you know situations where we do begin to improve and mashallah we feel so good about ourselves. It's
challenging not everyone will be your friend when you quit bad habits because everyone's drinking and you're not but you're the friend of Allah. Not everyone will you will be your friend when everyone's clubbing and you're not. They say this person is no longer in our circle it's okay I'm now in the circle of Allah
not everyone will be your friend when everyone is doing something very very wrong and you're not in there because you know what sorry man it's not no longer me I'm not I can't have read meat anymore because my cholesterol levels too high that's what you're telling them but spiritually that's that's perhaps a proper ill you know ailment sickness cholesterol whatever it might be you're worried about it's a physically you stop the meat I'm talking of spiritually you need to stop something else because more detrimental than this cholesterol is what we're struggling our our I don't know what to call it haram level or or sin level
is above 10
And it was supposed to be below five the scales you know the scales? How can we allow it to go above 10? May Allah Almighty grant us ease Do you realize I've spoken to you for 14 minutes?
No, I can go on right. May Allah bless you guys. Allah grant your goodness and ease and may Allah Almighty grant us a good return to Luton. I want to end up by saying something
as much as I spoke about habits and how we need to give up bad habits and we need to develop good habits and we need to help our children from a young age inshallah you want to help your children you're gonna have to develop your own habits first. Many kids we tried to tell him don't do this don't do typical one is when the father says don't smoke, but that you've been smoking on your life. You know what he says? Well, I know how bad it is. That's why I'm telling you, God, Allah He that's a proper answer they give you know that unfortunately, you should have just quit it anyway. May Allah make it easy. Make a DUA, may Allah make it easy for us to quit our bad habits? May Allah
strengthen us to do the right thing. As much as I've spoken about habits. I want to say one more thing. We're living in an age of struggle. Every one of us is struggling with either one thing or a few things.
Don't ever let your struggles distance you from Allah. If your struggle brought you closer to Allah, it's a blessing. If your struggle distanced you from Allah, it is actually perhaps a sign of the displeasure of Allah and could be a means of punishment. Whenever you're struggling, tell yourself this is Allah telling me to come closer to him? So how long am I going to struggle for for as long as Allah knows that he wants you in that position? Because if your struggle brought you closer to Allah, and Allah loves the way you worshipped him while you were in a struggle, it's a bonus for Allah to keep you in that struggle until the day you die.
I hope you understood what I just said. Because if Allah had to take you out of the struggle
And that resulted in you sliding back to your old self, then that would be a big loss. Imagine when I had a problem, I was close to Allah. When I, when my problem was over, I was distanced from Allah. Why would Allah ever take the problem away? If he loves you, He gives you the problem and keeps it there with you for as long as He wills. And if you die in a condition where you kept praying for a solution, and the solution didn't come. In actual fact, there was a solution. What was it? You kept praying? That was the main bonus. It wasn't about solving the problem. I needed something. And I needed it badly. And I kept praying and I kept asking Allah and Allah knows he's not gonna give it
to you, but he loves the way you keep praying. So you actually succeeded and you achieved more than you wanted. Because ultimately you died praying, you died with hope you died with Allah and you didn't die the other way. But had you gotten what you asked for? You might just have not been calling out to Allah with those warm tears anymore. You might, you might not have continued praying the way you were with such sincerity. So Allah says, You know what, I love you the way you are right now. You're gonna come back to me very, very soon. I want you to die praying in sujood calling out to me weeping crying to me close to me. And that's the best debt you could ever have had. So I'm
going to keep you this way here. And you're busy saying Oh Allah, you're punishing me. Allah says, No, I'm having mercy on you consider what I've just said. Because many of us are struggling. And the struggles are real. We will in sha Allah be helped by Allah, may Allah alleviate all our struggles, the way we want them to be alleviated. Whatever your struggles are, but if something is delaying, that shouldn't disconnect you from Allah. If something is delaying, don't allow it to make you become despondent, rather, die of closed, dive deeper, become closer and closer to Allah and in this way, if Allah is pleased with you, trust me there's nothing more you want. If I die when Allah is
pleased with me, it's a good death. But if any one of us dies when Allah is displeased with us, we will only blame ourselves May Allah Almighty grant us goodness. Apolo Kohli, ha That was sallahu wa salam ala Nabina Muhammad