Mufti Menk – Response to Advice on Anger

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			Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
		

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			smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah Muhammad Ali Al
Ameen. Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Sabina woman Toby ambition to Medina we're back.
We always start by praising Allah Subhana Allah to Allah sending blessings and salutations upon
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his entire household, and all his companions, may Allah
subhanho wa Taala, bless them, and may He bless every single one of us and our offspring, those to
come up to the day of pmma keep a steadfast on this deal.
		

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			Brothers and sisters in Islam, we listen to a lot of advice. We listen to many lectures, we listen
to many people speaking to us, we know what is right and wrong in most cases. But sometimes shavon
comes to us and makes us either delay in terms of procrastination, or sometimes he makes us
disregard the importance of a matter. So we do not change in that regard. Or sometimes he makes us
such that we leave without remembering what was said. And sometimes we change our lives for a few
days, then we go back to where we were. And sometimes we say that I will change tomorrow or the next
day. And then by that time, everything is watered down. So the pieces of advice that come to us from
		

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			a religious perspective, they are definitely sourced in the knowledge of Allah subhanho wa Taala
given to us through Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
		

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			And Allah created us and he sent for us revelation, we have ambia, we have ulama we have people who
in our midst continue reminding us about what is right and wrong. And we should know and realize
that whatever Allah has revealed and sent down, it is applicable in my life in yours. And it will be
such that when I listen to it carefully, it seems that I am the one being addressed. Because Allah
knows my life and he knows yours. He knows my weaknesses, he knows yours. He knows what issues I am
going through and he knows what issues you are going through. So he knows absolutely everything such
that when someone gets up to talk to us, or when we listen to a program on radio or elsewhere, or we
		

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			read a book, many times it will seem as though the person is addressing me, but sometimes they don't
know the problems you have. They don't know the issues you are going through but they are only
mentioning what Allah subhanho wa Taala has revealed. And in it, there is a reminder for myself and
yourselves in my life and in yours such that I'm going through issues that are so relevant, and what
is being said is helping me. So, these are different types of reactions, but the worst reaction, the
worst reaction is he or she whom when he is told what is right and wrong, he becomes angry and he
becomes upset and he becomes more entrenched in the sin he is committing. And he defies to say Who
		

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			do you think you are to tell me? What either Tila Tequila for that one laser Tobin
		

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			for has Mooji
		

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			Allah says, such people such hypocrites, when they are told to fear Allah, they become more
entrenched in that sin and they become more powerful and defiant to say Where are you to have told
me what to do? Who do you think you are? So Allah says, if that is the reaction such people
sufficient for them? Is hellfire. May Allah subhanho wa Taala not do that to us. So from this we
learn one very interesting point.
		

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			How do we treat advice that comes to us number one,
		

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			someone will tell you okay brothers and sisters, let's read our Salah let's make sure we read five
Salah Salah is the fifth pillar of Islam or the second pillar of Islam and Salah is so important to
eat inshallah you will achieve this and you will achieve that so we all know about Salah people do
not feel offended sometimes even if they are not so strong in fulfilling the Salah because it's a
common message that message is common for everyone. So we will react to it way inshallah one day it
will click and we will start reading our Salah one day it will click and we will start reading our
Salah inshallah, but may Allah make a strong I mean
		

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			then you have an issue of Zika or the issue of salt
		

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			And fasting, the issue of Hajj and so on. Amazing how these are common points, then sometimes people
will talk about how it is prohibited to drink alcohol. Every one of us knows it's haram to drink
alcohol. So the speaker will speak and he will say brothers and sisters, it is haram to drink
alcohol, intoxicants are haram This is prohibited, we are not allowed to engage in it, we can't buy
it, we can't sell it, we can't transport it. We are not allowed to have any dealings that have any
alcohol and intoxicants and so on because of this curse, and that curse, that also is a common
message. A day will come when alcoholics will quit also by the will of Allah, may Allah strengthen
		

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			us and let that day be today. By the way, brothers and sisters, you are away and so am I, that any
form of intoxication, totally prohibited in the Sharia, allow us to protect my mind and yours, my
body and yours. And Allah knows when he has made something prohibited that it is bad for us in one
way or another and sometimes in more than one way. So it's up to us to learn either the easy way, or
the hard way. The easy way is to learn by the experience of others and their guidance. So someone
tells you look, I've been there. I know what it's all about. Watch out and be careful. Do not engage
in this. Let's say for example, a man was
		

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			or he came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam young and he sat in front of Rasulullah Saracen and he
says, Oh messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now for him. He's addressing the Nabhi of Allah.
He's so lucky. He's so fortunate that he is talking to the Prophet of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So he
says, Oh messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, give me some advice.
		

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			Now, out of all the advice in the dunya, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam looked at him and told him
Nah, don't get angry, control your temper. Imagine a man went to a young man went to Mohammed salatu
salam, the messenger, imagine you go to someone and you think Subhana Allah, or you know that this
person is a top scholar, and you say, Please give me some solid advice. And he looks at you and he
says, control your temper.
		

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			Imagine what you think. So this young man says, Okay, give me more advice. He says, control your
temper. Second time
		

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			says okay, give me more advice. He says, control your temper. Third, imagine meaning Don't get angry
law actually means Do not get angry. In other words, control your temper. Watch out. Now. There are
two ways of reacting someone can say Mashallah, this is a golden piece of advice no matter what. I'm
going to force myself not to get angry. I want to stop there for a minute. All of us have some form
of a temper. All of us. Some people they fuse is 20 amps. So no matter what, 30 amps, you put
something big, they don't get angry in a rush. But when it blows, boom, it makes a big blow bang,
you know. And they get so angry that all that it was a waste of time for it having been 30 amps,
		

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			other people, two amps, one amp, you just look at them in what you're looking at that type of
attitude. So this is the type of different people have different temperaments. They have different
points of boiling. And some people, they will get angry after a long time and in two minutes, they
back cool as a cucumber. Once again, my brothers and sisters without working hard on forcing
yourself to extinguish your anger. You are not going to be able to help yourself. You have a temper?
Well, so do I.
		

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			You're not working on it? Well, we do Subhanallah so much. So I give you an example.
		

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			I was driving today.
		

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			And earlier on in the day, I overtook someone.
		

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			And the car that was coming was at a great distance very far. And he started hooting and he started
flashing, and he started pulling signs, he started getting excited. And yet I had already tapped
well into the lane, half a kilometer before he crossed and I could see these signs and he's bossing
me and making all these big signs and whatever else. If it was a few years ago, perhaps I might have
decided to turn my car back and go and fix the man up. Believe me, what is he getting excited for?
But after you simmer down and you force yourself to laugh at it, and to say Alhamdulillah people
cannot gauge distance Allah has given us the ability to gauge it excuse the men let him carry on his
		

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			half blind.
		

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			Carry on. You laugh at it, but one line is some people will the anger will drive them to stop to
turn the car around to fly back next to the guy to get him to drive him push him off the road to
take out a gun. What did you do to me?
		

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			But that happens, some had Allah even the youngsters understand
		

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			if you take a look, let
		

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			behavior is unacceptable. totally ridiculous. Because you caused 20 problems out of an issue. That
wasn't even a problem. It was a reaction. It was someone else's problem, not even yours, you made it
yours. So my brothers and sisters, today we are struggling on a community level on a family level,
husband and wife are suffering, children are suffering. So many people are suffering in our
businesses, with our workers with those who we work for, because of this temper, because of the
anger that we have. And you know what, if you are not going to force yourself when you are really
hot? Tell yourself No, I'm controlling this and laugh at it and see what happens. You feel come do
		

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			it 500 times and after that, it will become your habit. You become a cool person. And people will
say one year ago this man was so hard headed. We don't know what happened. It's the consciousness of
Allah. You need training it's not going to come to you automatically. A lot of us have a lot of
money Mashallah A lot of us have everything, our houses I know that we do not depend on others
besides Allah. But we forget sometimes that we depend on Allah. We forget why because we've got
everything. It's a carpet, where's the food? Where's the food, and it must come that's how it is.
And we get angry, which not the two minutes and the wife is like, what and She's shaking and
		

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			shivering if not the wife when the cook and if not the cook, then someone else. So they got delayed.
Have a plan B. You know, we tell people you need to be ready. Tell your children for example, you
need to be ready at two o'clock we live in two o'clock, one minute pass to and suddenly we swearing
What is this?
		

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			Five past two half past two, my brother cancel your trip, but don't get angry.
		

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			Maybe Allah protected you from some damage further up the line. You might have gone off on your
journey two o'clock and something might have stuck on the road. Allah says you we want you to leave
at half past three, you got angry you fighting with Allah for nothing for no reason. You can remind
your children to say Look, my children or spouse or whoever it is, inshallah next time when we say
to try and make it to or you can solve the problem in another way, where you want to leave at two
but you tell your family, one o'clock we're going, believe me half one, there'll be a quarter to two
in your mind, we're only going to see. So there are several ways of solving the problem. It requires
		

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			intellect, it requires dedication, you want to solve it, you solve it. We prefer to get angry, angry
for Who am I to get angry? Allah is the one. He is the owner of anger in the sense that he has the
right to get angry upon us. Because we are the creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And still, we
do not worship him exactly the way he wants. We try and our hope is pegged on the mercy of Allah
based on our trial. Don't we agree? We all read Salah to Asia, who knows who Salah is accepted, we
hope from Allah that He accepted our Salah.
		

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			I mean, how many of us had 100% concentration in Salah I don't think even one of us. So our hope is
pegged on the trial that we have coupled with the mercy of Allah, but he has the right to get angry
with us. But still, he shows us His mercy. So this young man says, What is the advice he was told,
don't get angry, I told you the first way, the first way of advice is, or the first way of taking it
is to understand it. And to put it into practice, just by being advised by someone learn by the
experiences and the wisdom and the knowledge of others. So they tell you, brother, I'm just wanting
you to not do this. So we say okay, I'm not doing it, why I trust what this man is telling me not
		

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			doing this. That's one way of learning. The other way of learning is to try it out.
		

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			And to learn after we are present sometimes and sometimes beyond repay. So now say for example, the
anger.
		

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			Say at your workplace, you become upset, angry.
		

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			At the back of your head, you know it's haram to get angry.
		

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			Meaning to get angry for these minor issues. There is a certain scope of anger or should I say, you
know a level of temperament that you're allowed perhaps to get to when it comes to certain issues of
the deen. But we are talking of the general day to day items. You don't just get angry, you deal
with items. Your children are there as an Amana from Allah, they don't belong to you. They actually
belong to Allah, but we think they belong to us my son. That's a statement Allah has allowed you to
say but in essence, he's Allah creature whom Allah is gonna take away anytime.
		

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			My son
		

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			and this is why we say my husband, my wife, you know what the belonging is to Allah. That's the
reality. But for a moment, they are under our our guardianship or an Amana given to us.
		

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			For Allah to take our tests so how we treat them how we handle them all this is from Allah subhanho
wa Taala now a man comes in he says no, I know it's haram but me I got a problem I got a weakness
and my temper Come on make dua for me. I'm very angry. Do I alone without making an effort? is an
insult? Did you hear that? Do I alone? I say Allah help me that I don't go to the nightclub but I'm
walking to the club. What are you talking about? I walk say Allah do something to take me away and
I'm walking. What is that? You see yellow protect my car. Your windows are open everything yeah,
Allah you are Allah, you protected. I leave it to you. But your doors are open everything else? What
		

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			is that it's called the terroir. And the word
		

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			is the proper trust in Allah. What cool means to lay your trust in Allah after having done whatever
was in your capacity. Then you say I lay my trust in you, that is called Taka, Taka Allah, we lay
our complete and full trust in Allah. That's correct. But the law is where you lay your trust in
Allah in a false way, in the sense that you don't even play the little role that Allah has made you
play are placed on your shoulders and given you the ability to play. And then you say, Allah will
take care of that how you don't try hard. And you say, Allah will take care. So that we need to make
sure we make so if a person in his home, say for example, says, Okay, I know anger and temper is
		

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			bad, but I've got a problem. And I get angry, and he was warned, watch out, you know, you get
married, you need to cool down, calm down that spouse of yours. There are so many things that would
happen negative if you lost your call.
		

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			And so we find this person says no, I don't think he's going to happen to me. And he gets home and
he starts screaming at his wife. And he screams at his children. So his children are watching him
scream at their mother. Right. And sometimes people become violent, and Allah protect us. And people
become, you know, so vocal, they say the dirtiest of words to someone who's dedicated to their life,
to someone who's perhaps served them more than they actually should, according to Islam, someone who
has given up so much in order to be with them, and we lose our cool so badly the children are
watching. So what we've done, we've built a generation of new boys and girls who, when they get
		

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			married, they will think marriage is all about screaming and yelling at your spouse. That's why my
brothers and sisters is the parents of someone who you want to marry, scream and shout and swear at
one another, expect that person to do the same.
		

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			unless Allah has had mercy on them, and they've been in the company of someone or some miracle has
happened, why they will believe that this is how you're supposed to teach your spouse. Daddy used to
clap up mommy every other day. So now you know what you are my wife with a mommy of these kids come
for your bloods? Is that the attitude? If that is the case, we've lost the plot. But where did they
learn it from you didn't talk you didn't tell them. But what you did showed you had a temper. So the
little children as young as four years old, they've watched their dad lose the cool and say
whatever. So that from that age, they start screaming and shouting, when dad is not there, by the
		

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			way. Why? He takes the place of my father, yet he's only four years old, and the wife tries to
explain to the husband, look, this is what your Sunday, no ways my son can do that. But you've been
doing it all day. So this is part of the repercussion of that temper and anger. We said you can
learn the easy way eradicated or the hard way is you don't want to learn, you think it's not going
to have any effect. It has a deep rooted effect through perhaps seven generations going all the way
down. And where was the cause? myself or yourself? Why? Because we were not interested in learning
through the easy way, putting force on yourself, fighting you enough to say I'm suppressing this
		

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			anger. I don't want it. It must be gone.
		

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			And like I said, my brothers and sisters, we all have a temper all of us while I fight it. You do
not have to have things your way all the time. No, you don't.
		

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			You do not have to be a perfectionist. That towel must be sitting there. three centimeters on that
side of the pole and three centimeters on the other side of the pole. If it's not like that, there's
going to be chaos here. Come on my brother. Come on. Even if there's no towel from that day, look at
it and go and get a towel Subhanallah even if you happen to drip and slip in the bathroom, by you
screaming what's going to happen, your bones are not going to get better. You can tell the better
next time please put the towel, whatever you want to say because now you're dealing but the way we
read
		

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			To think sometimes really, is so detrimental to our own well being that we don't realize you haven't
forced yourself yet to become a better person becoming a better person is not just okay. I listen to
this lecture and that lecture, I started this talk by saying, we listen to so many different pieces
of advice, how do we react to it, we don't change a lot of times, oh, it's temporary. But to change,
you have to force yourself, you have to fight yourself to get up for fudger It's a war, believe me,
it's a battle. You have to force yourself you have to fight to get to the masjid 10 minutes before
the time. Without that you're going to be a person who will die on your mattress without having gone
		

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			for surgery. Why? Because you never made an effort. So when we say if it is required, what is that?
What does that mean? It means fight your nuts and fighting illness means control yourself, force
yourself to do certain things. You know, we tell those who are married, that when you are talking to
your spouse, you force yourself to say the best words, force yourself to say, the most romantic and
beautiful words to your spouse's. The most loving words to your children, force yourself to say that
they need it without you fighting yourself to utter those words, it's not going to come and you know
how your household can change so positively, just by a few good words, you will be amazed, tried.
		

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			And tomorrow morning, we'll all be on honeymoon.
		

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			Believe me, it's a reality. Check. Check what happens. Try it with your kids start uttering words of
affection. You find their bonding, they will bond with you so much when they have a problem at
school. It's no longer they confiding in their friends will lead them to drugs, they confide in you
as a dad. And when they come and tell you the most absurd thing, what's your temper, because if you
blow it, they're never gonna talk to you again. You need to deal with it. It's the crisis of the
age. Today we are facing bombardment within the environment from all angles, and we as muslimeen
have the solutions but you're not practicing because we don't force ourselves to practice, force
		

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			yourself. Now, like grant me the ability to fight my own nuts, and all of us. So that is the
difficult way then we say you get angry. Another thing happens, your blood boils. So when your blood
boils, you suffer blood pressure after a short period of time, but didn't we hear the prophet SAW
Selim said Don't get angry. He said he thrice. If we wanted to learn the easy way, we would say our
Beloved Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the best of creation, the highest of all messengers,
the one who was sent to me and you We are so fortunate to be from his alma, he said, Don't get
angry, no chance that I'm going to go against that statement. That's how we should be looking at it.
		

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			He says, Don't get angry, I am his follower. I want paradise. The Quran speaks about the people who
will enter Paradise. And one of their qualities is while Calvary mean, our laughing and in
		

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			love. Those who can suppress the anger and forgive.
		

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			Gender will be fooled with people like those
		

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			people like those who can suppress the anger and forgive people. You know, we need to have an
attitude where we tell ourselves so what? Nevermind, it happened. It's okay. Have one. Today we have
a crisis, you know, the meaning of personal have been when you see someone doing something, think of
the best. The best possible reason why they did it, not the worst will law he society has so much
pressure on us. The TV has so much pressure on us. The internet has so much pressure on us, the
environment and the surroundings have so much pressure on us that the minute someone does something
automatically we think of the worst reason automatically yet. We c'est la ilaha illAllah Allah,
		

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			Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we utter that statement. But when he says think of
the best possible reason why they did this, we are actually now thinking of the worst possible
reason. So we stopped talking to people because we believe this man passed me but he didn't wave at
me purposely, that we're purposely is what caused the split of relation. One word. Had we change the
word to say the male past me. He didn't greet me. Perhaps he didn't see me there was not going to be
a problem. But no, I know, he saw me and I know he ignored me. And I know he's a bad man. And so now
community is divided. What we have learned from the devil to say think of the West. Even if he
		

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			didn't know you, purposely, the goodness of your mind would have made you think positive. So the
crisis would not have continued because now that you greet him and you tell him brother, I saw you
in town, but I'm sure you didn't see me. He will think to himself, whoa, I rather just agree to
		

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			resolve the problem. So this is why we say the US
		

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			So many benefits, but we don't realize these are the small realities in our lives. day to day we
experienced these things, but our life is sometimes upside down. We have the wealth we have so many
other things, but we are leading a life of misery because we don't want to follow these basic
teachings of survival in life taught by Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam which makes it and he bothered to
follow. So, like I said, that temper what it will do, it will make your blood boil your blood boils
to three things happen. One is you get blood pressure. So now you impose you impose now suddenly you
start suffering some other diseases because every pill has a side effect. Then when the blood boils,
		

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			we get a migraine, we get hot, then sometimes I was so angry the man says that I dished out three
pallets one time, like it was biryani at a wedding dished out one way three servings all at once.
And then what happened? It's your temper my brother You did not cool down cool it you will destroy
your life, your family's life. Then we go crying to the Ola and the other scholars. We want to cry
here in a while. It was just your temper. Did you ever go back to the simple Hadith we amend MIT the
messenger sallallahu wasallam the best of creation he met him and says give me advice. I would have
expected that nice long lecture if if you go to someone uncle give me advice. You know some of them
		

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			because Mashallah they can talk for quite long, they'll give you a long advice zanku switch of your
advice tomorrow part to each other. And tomorrow, we don't see them. But this was short, sweet,
sharp to the point and relevant to everyone up to the end of time. Don't get angry. Watch out your
anger. Don't someone did something bad to you without getting angry, retaliate, respond or see how
you want to deal with the crisis. Beautiful way you don't have to get and you get angry, you melty
people. There was once a man.
		

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			And he got so angry with someone who worked for him, who was a Muslim,
		

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			that he swore him. And he kicked him. And he fired him because of a mistake that happened. So that
man went away, and so on and so forth. And now this boss one day I met him and he tells me you know
what? I'm looking for this guy. I can't find him. I said why he said he was from Malawi. And you
know, I've drilled about him three times.
		

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			And he was serving me water on a hot day.
		

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			And he was greeting me so nicely. And he sat with me and he's you know, and he says, I think that
means something maybe I was unjust. Anyway, after some time, I happened to ask a few people.
		

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			Who was this guy who was working for this man, it seems like he's looking for him. And where is he
going says we don't know where he's going. But I tell you, that man used to wake up for 200 every
morning. He never used to my sister had you every morning is to stay with us in that location. And
had you time the man was awake and he's to guide to align the masala
		

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			so I went back to this original man. And I told him you know what I heard about this guy who was
working for you. This is what I heard. Well, ah, he cried. And he said, I swear by Allah I'll never
let my temper overtake me again after today. And I asked a lot forgiveness. Perhaps I screamed and
yelled at her at a rally of a law at a friend of Allah without me knowing his status. He says
Believe me today My life is upside down. Ever since that day, I don't know my family is crumbling,
this is happening. My business is going down. Everything is going wrong. What?
		

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			How did you react? You are angry, your anger? What did your anger do? It made you become a person
who oppressed someone who was so close to Allah perhaps that today you've declared yourself an
enemy. May Allah protect us through what the tongue Chow because you don't know the next man next to
you. You don't know. So stop pulling signs again, start getting excited, stop doing things that will
result in our own downfall. No, we don't want them. And we need to force ourselves to develop and
that's the moral of tonight. May Allah grant us goodness, when we go home tonight. One thing I just
want you to remember.
		

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			without forcing yourself, you're not going to achieve anything. Nothing. It doesn't just come for
free like that sitting and suddenly your temper goes. And you know there's like a chip in your head.
Suddenly it's out boom, and your temper is gone. No, you will get very vexed before you vent it, you
must cool it down. SubhanAllah they say you found the fire brigade at the beginning of the fire. You
don't watch how lucky the inferno is. And when the building is about to be burned. You say guys is a
building on fire. That's not how it works. As soon as the thing starts, you fall and you make sure
that they can quickly cry they did more it is going to be therefore the more property is going to be
		

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			destroyed. The same applies with our anger. The longer we leave it without that extinguisher
fighting it, the more destruction
		

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			There's going to be in so many lives, not just one life.
		

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			Like we said, my life, the people who work with me, the people who talk to me, my health, my money
is gone, my happiness is gone. My sleep is gone. When the person is very angry that night, they head
throbs, and they don't get sleep. Every one of us may know that, when you very, very angry and vexed
that night, you're sitting and you can hear a Doom, Doom to your pulse, you can hear it, and you're
looking up into the ceiling. And perhaps you don't even know what you're thinking about, and you're
getting more and more angry. So you have to come down, let things happen. Like I said,
		

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			even perfectionist behavior.
		

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			perfectionist behavior means you want things every time on time on this on that everything must be
this way. That's very good. But when it does not happen that way, how do you react? Not everyone is
like you. Everyone is different. Sometimes people can be one minute late. Sometimes people can be
you know, the one day there wasn't. And this is a true story. I was involved in it. One day, there
was a big problem in one machine, they wanted to fire on him. So they asked me this email me very
bad. So what he said, You know, he comes late for Salah, imaam this, so I said, Okay, when did he
come late? So someone told me, You know what, he's an amount for 15 years. One day, the man came two
		

00:31:22 --> 00:31:23

			minutes late.
		

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			So I'm thinking to myself 15 years, the delay is two minutes. So I asked the man who told me that
shift, how many the brother who was trying to now fire this amount? That how many soldiers have you
been laid for? He says that's irrelevant, is the amount he's been paid for him.
		

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			But 15 years, the man is delayed for one. So are you getting excited? Come on, keeping because the
next seller is gonna miss will be after 15 years. So you better keep him. Because now for 15 years
you are set again, according to his own record. May Allah grant us goodness, but why we get angry,
we get excited. And we lose track of how we are thinking. Now a person comes at night and is looking
here looking at getting more No, tomorrow, I'm gonna do this fix this guy. The best thing is
forgiving, and say Allah, you deal with him and going to sleep. It's over.
		

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			So this is Islamic counseling of the mind, where we are trained to think in a specific way, not
according to the movies, and according to the TV, no way someone does something. You know, like on
the TV, what the people are taught and on the movies, when the husband makes a mistake, or the wife
makes a mistake. One mistake. It's the end of your marriage. It's over. It's over, it's finished.
Well, you get a divorce, and you go now what happens? Another mistake, a third mistake, a fourth
mistake, then we can talk about it.
		

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			One mistake in 15 years, believe me, that's a brilliant track record. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
You look at it as a Muslim, we are not saying don't deal with it, deal with it, but in a humane way,
bearing in mind that you too, are a human being. You too, have made errors, perhaps Allah has
covered you, perhaps Allah has not exposed you. So why do we want to deal with it according to how
we are trained by today's environment, over and above how we are supposed to be trained by Islam.
		

00:33:26 --> 00:33:45

			A person makes a mistake, we are supposed to be taught to perhaps rectify the error in a beautiful
respectable manner. All the marriages listen very carefully. All the marriages that have got
together after a crisis are happier than those who have not yet suffered a crisis.
		

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			You know, if you shed warm tears, and you learn to forgive one another, and promise that you will
both develop correctly and start a new leaf, believe me the happiness and the bond would probably
even be stronger than the first day you got married.
		

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			Why? Because that's the way that Islam teaches us to think. Yes, if there's a major crisis,
marriages do break and sometimes they break for the right reasons. There's a bit too much oppression
on one side and if nothing is being done about it, then Alhamdulillah Allah has kept it as a point
of mercy. But here we are talking of losing our sleep becoming angry, you know, breaking things in
destroying things, because we think that that's it, we are the ones this is difficult.
		

00:34:32 --> 00:34:41

			So this is why we say the advice we hear they will always be pieces of advice that Pierce our heart.
What does that mean?
		

00:34:43 --> 00:34:59

			Like I said Salas, aka and so many other things. We it's common. We've been hearing about it very
regularly, but say for example, someone is eating interest, and they happen to be an influential
person. And this happens in most societies and communities. And then get up someone gets up and says
brother
		

00:35:00 --> 00:35:07

			Interest is haram, you're not supposed to do this, do that. And the man is busy thinking, Hey, is he
talking about me? Yes, he is. I'm gonna fix this guy up.
		

00:35:09 --> 00:35:46

			Now, let's stop there. I am going to fix him up because he's speaking the truth and I don't like it.
Did you hear that? That's the reality. I want to fix him up because he's telling me a reality. And I
don't like it. Who is he to come and tell me why. And yet that Imam was innocently talking about
something in the Quran. And he was innocently mentioning something in the Hadith, but because I am
guilty, and I'm doing something totally wrong. I think he is exposing me in the masjid. So I'm
making sure he's fired before the next Salah because I'm the one who pays his salary, I donate to
the mosque.
		

00:35:47 --> 00:35:49

			That is a sign of rejection from Allah.
		

00:35:50 --> 00:36:22

			Why should we think that way? But the reality is, Allah sends to us advice through the tongues of
the scholars and other people that will be directly affecting us to say you this is your problem,
but the man doesn't know you. He doesn't know your problem. But it will be affecting you in a way
that you are convinced in your mind. Someone told him something, but you don't know it's a miracle
of Allah, Allah knows you and he knows he loves you enough to send someone to remind you to say Hang
on, enough is enough. Don't get angry.
		

00:36:24 --> 00:37:03

			So people don't like direct advice. For example, you have a person and it happens committing
adultery openly every other day. So now the Imam comes up and he says look brothers and sisters
adultery is haram and so on. And the Hadith says that people will continue to be deserving of the
mercy of Allah for as long as they do not commit the sin openly shamelessly, you know, one is a
person who's committing adultery but he's worried you say who's gonna see me what's gonna happen you
know, so on so very bad. Very, very bad. But one who is worse is He who often is you know, what is
my chick? Why must I hide from you guys? It's my girlfriend. Come on. I'm not a hypocrite. What you
		

00:37:03 --> 00:37:15

			see is what you get. That's a worst attitude why we are encouraging vise that's the reason why other
people will see the tiara tomorrow I'll take mine out of the closet also not uncle said I got three
closets.
		

00:37:17 --> 00:37:40

			Allah protect us. Why? Because we've now encouraged this type of behavior. So the Hadid says that,
for as long as people are not exposing and shamelessly doing things, there will be hope that the
others will also find it difficult to commit a sin so there is still deserving of the mercy of Allah
subhanho wa Taala. When the man is saying this, the main things do you see me with
		

00:37:42 --> 00:38:07

			this man out? That attitude is from the devil, straight from shape, and it shows that we need a lot
of counseling to think islamically we don't understand the miracle of Allah, He works in my life and
yours. Allah knows us personally. Completely. He knows every issue in your life and he will send you
messages somehow at some stage, he will send it to you.
		

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			How you react to it depends and whether or not you get more than one message. also depends. This is
why when the people of Johanna May Allah protect us from Jana will be driven towards hellfire.
		

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			The gatekeepers of jahannam will ask them a question. What was the what is the question?
		

00:38:30 --> 00:38:39

			The question, Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of it in more than one place in the Quran. In
surah, Zuma towards the end Allah subhanho wa Taala says
		

00:38:41 --> 00:38:42

			wirkkala home has
		

00:38:48 --> 00:38:49

			yet
		

00:38:51 --> 00:38:52

			to be come
		

00:38:55 --> 00:38:58

			kumiko
		

00:39:02 --> 00:39:44

			these gatekeepers, the angels will say to those who are being driven into Hellfire, did messengers
and warned has not come to you from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Reading the verses have a lot to you
reminding you of this day. And the people will say Yes, they did. But what can we do? We didn't
listen? What does this mean? This means Allah sends messages to every one of us. So don't get angry
when you hear solid advice. When you want to get angry against a man who is giving you proper
advice. Perhaps you are living in denial. Perhaps you might be a person who needs help. Perhaps you
might be wrong. Perhaps it might be a reaction that will result in your destruction. And you don't
		

00:39:44 --> 00:39:59

			know like I told you there are people who have told us that after a certain action of ours, our
lives have turned upside down. May Allah forgive us all. So we don't want that to happen to us.
Sometimes a saint comes to you
		

00:40:00 --> 00:40:18

			You don't know his connection with Allah subhanho wa Taala, a pious men, and he tells you something
that might offend you. But it is a reality. It is the truth. Instead of you getting angry and
fighting a friend of Allah calm down and make dua for yourself and for him
		

00:40:19 --> 00:41:07

			and think carefully and deeply over what he is trying to say, What is the message? Is he right? Some
people today, they not only threaten to attack someone who gives them direct advice, but they
organize gangsters to go and break their bones, because what they said was correct, but we did not
like it. Who is he to say it? Well, he has on his shoulders a duty and so to all of us to advise and
to remind, and to continue because it is only through that way that we will all be able to live a
life becoming closer and closer to what is correct. If I'm not reminded by anyone, how can I become
correct? Nobody reminds me like someone told me something a few weeks ago, and I told him Okay, do
		

00:41:07 --> 00:41:44

			you want me to get up on the mimbar and say, my brothers and sisters, please gossip, there's no harm
enjoy you make sure you have good tea around a and enjoy nice biscuits. I'm sure the chocolates are
also not bad. Those Romany creams also okay, and you guys gossip about everyone and make sure it's
about 9900 people a day? Is that what this means? Is that what you want us to say? Or we say you
know what you guys back back no problem accused people as in when you wish, just say anything about
anyone soon as you see someone just start accusing them of this and accuse them of that. And that's
the Islamic way of doing things. Please open your heart and accuse whoever you want. Is that what
		

00:41:44 --> 00:41:45

			you want us to say?
		

00:41:46 --> 00:42:10

			So now when we say do not accuse people, they say Who are you to say that? Well, that means you've
accused someone that means you are guilty. That means you are so guilty that it's irritating you.
That's the verse I read of the Quran, that some people they are so hypocritical, they don't even
know they're hypocritical, because they become angry when the truth is uttered, they become so
upset. They become like they want to beat you up because you are speaking the truth.
		

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			So the question I want to end with seeing that now I'm almost clocking my 45 minutes is that which
category do we fall into? That's what I want you to think about? Am I a person who gets upset when
someone tells me what right? Am I a person who gets angry that I want to beat people up when they
tell me what pieces but he's correct. Think about it. May Allah make us those who can change May
Allah make us based in our homes. May He make us in society and communities such that we can stand
up for one another. No matter what color you are, no matter what tribe you belong to, no matter
where you come from. you utter the Shahada, we will try our best to work with you and we will try
		

00:42:52 --> 00:43:25

			our best to support one another. That's what it is. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us all my
brothers and sisters, I am here as you know, in passing, because I'm driving up north and every time
I get caught here in this beautiful city. So nowadays before I get caught, I actually say okay, I
will come and don't worry, we'll meet up and inshallah perhaps we will say a few good words. May
Allah grant me the ability to practice upon what I have saved. Me, he made me from amongst those who
can control that temper come what may? And may He make us all the same?
		

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			Believe me, you become a different person. totally different. But without an effort from you.
		

00:43:33 --> 00:43:54

			that change is not going to happen. Even your sicknesses can go. A lot of things can go why you've
calmed down. It's the advice you took it and you force yourself to become a better person. You know,
to greet people doesn't just happen. You have to fight your nerves to greet someone and to smile. A
smile requires energy.
		

00:43:55 --> 00:44:06

			A lot law requires energy. But the when the Hadith says it's a sonata, it means the beautiful effect
of that smile is so powerful that no money can buy that.
		

00:44:08 --> 00:44:43

			Imagine if we all have to bleep up the problem is twofold. And I'm going to speak about the other
side also. But let's talk about this when we greet salaam aleikum, my brother How are you doing? And
you know Alhamdulillah how's the family what's happening and we walk away you know, the bond we feel
makes you feel like coming for the next Salah. It makes you feel like you want to be part of the
community. But why is it that we all running away as soon as we see the doctor we start feeling
sick? As soon as we see the molar we have a case we need to deal with so in the masjid the doctor
for Doctor cannot come because everyone says a doc lucky so you know what i got a pain my back ask
		

00:44:43 --> 00:44:44

			the doctors they will tell you it's true.
		

00:44:45 --> 00:44:59

			The guy who's got a heart way soon as we see in a you know what I needed the Stockman you know, so
this is not Salam aleikum wa sallam it's not a smile. You are putting pressure on someone to say
next time please stay far from me because me I asked you for a discount when I see you in the masjid
and I asked you to do that
		

00:45:00 --> 00:45:28

			Do you want the doctor phony surgery, no matter how close you are, make an appointment and go there
on time. If it's something very urgent, perhaps you might want to bypass it. But don't use the
platform Allah has given for a bother to come in now attack a person in the field of his no ways. No
ways. Believe me something important I'm saying. And this affects all of us in our own fields, no
matter what you are. You're a you're a butcher. There's a shortage of a brother my Philips Don't
forget, I'm trying to say
		

00:45:29 --> 00:45:30

			and you telling me my Philips Don't forget
		

00:45:32 --> 00:46:13

			me, Allah Subhana Allah bless us all. So this is why we say we must protect ourselves from treating
people in a way that they feel pressured when they see us they must not feel pressure. When the
doctor sees a commercial. What's happening in it stops, they go out there from your mobile phone for
knee surgery and find out when can I book I got a sickness I got this. May Allah grant us kill mela
open our doors. So these are the beautiful ways of Islam, where we can increase the Mahabharata and
the love between us in a way that we feel happy smile, but an effort is required. Even if you
feeling gloomy, you know, when you're feeling down and upsetting, you know, you just like so low,
		

00:46:13 --> 00:46:59

			try breaking out into a big smile. The people around you, you will feel good. Believe me why it
isn't a bad break out into a smile. And you see your expression as people see you they start smiling
as well because your expression is such that the smile is known for your face, not the frowny so
much so can I give you another tip? This is obviously a tip. Some people they age very quick, which
means they still 20 but they look like 40 and some people they they don't age, one of the secrets or
should I say two of them. One is temper anger management. Anger makes you old very fast, very, very
fast. And to is your expression on your face when it is more of a frown. You become old very fast,
		

00:46:59 --> 00:47:26

			because you get all these wrinkles on your face and so on. But if you leave your face
expressionless, or you smile more than you frown, you age far slower than others. We have all these,
you know, beauticians of today. You don't need all that so panela makeover at the age of 60. So I
want to look like 20 makeovers, we don't just follow the sooner smile and see at the age of 60 they
say are you 45 and you say hey, thanks a lot man.
		

00:47:28 --> 00:48:04

			Nice Allah. Allah bless her soul grandpa's goodness, we need to smile we need to make the
environment more loving. Because there's too much hate on the globe and people really are cursing
one another we should help one another inshallah, by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala here we are
about to clock 50 minutes, five minutes overtime. Now Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless us, grant us
ease and goodness, I've enjoyed my few moments here. Well what I've said, comes from the heart by
the will of Allah and I hope it goes straight through to the heart. And I have not said anything
intentionally to offend anyone, but if anyone felt that way, I hope you're not guilty of what I was
		

00:48:04 --> 00:48:13

			saying. Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all are sallallahu wasallam obata Karolina Amina Mohammed
Subhan, Allah Subhana Allah Mohammed La La Land