Mufti Menk – First thing to do when building friendship – Q&A

			I would study them for a while, that's what I would do First things first, I would study them for a
while. And I would see I would employ the methods that I felt were the most effective. A lot of the
times, you know, you start off with a little relationship that you have a smile, you show them you
care, and so on. And then you get to the point you, the discussion comes up, and you slowly but
surely, make sure that they have lent you an ear, because for me, the study of the people you're
going to be addressing is far more important than, you know, just going and slapping the the message
on their face. Because, you know, there is something called a bridge, you know, you slowly but
		

			surely need to make sure that they are going to take to what you have to say, if a person comes to
you, and he's very close to you, and you want to tell them something, it's easier than a person who
hasn't come to you or a person who is not ready to listen to some topics. I mean, we have I have
people who I know don't want to hear certain topics, and sometimes they need to hear it. So you
would have to at some point, find a way of getting the message across, you know, I give an example.
And I'm going to say this, because I believe in studying this scenario, and employing the best
methods, even if others don't understand them more than anything else. So I've given this example in
		

			that hour before that of a burger. You know, the most important thing in that burger would be the
patty in the center, or the, what they call the filet, or you know, the chicken, the beef, the
veggie, whatever it is that little Patty in the center. But if you look at it, it's presented in
such a delicious way that just by looking at it, your mouth is watering. The main thing to get in is
actually the center, they've put in tomato sauce, they've put in lettuce, they've put in perhaps,
you know, tomatoes and onions and mayonnaise and whatever and it's dripping. They've added a plate
of hot, extra crispy chips right next to that panel, and then they give you and when they give it to
		

			you, you think wow, lovely burger, you bitten into it, and you munching it and you don't realize
that the actual thing in there was, it was a small bit, but that's what they needed to get into. You
know. So I think that if you look at it from a strategic perspective, and if you're a person who
studies the people you're going to talk to and how best you're going to get across to them. You
would prepare their burger in such a way that they look at it and their mouth is just watering. They
want more they want to hear. And what I've realized is when you show that you care for the struggles
that the people are going through, you win them you win them in most cases, you really win them
		

			because everyone has their struggles. Allah is testing everyone with a bit of hunger, a bit of fear,
a bit of loss, loss of life. Look at Corona, why did I go live every day for two and a half months
from from the ending of from the second half of March all the way to just after eat. The reason it
was very difficult for me but I had to reach out to the people who were struggling because I've got
emails of people who was suicidal feeling at a loss, people who didn't know they were losing their
faith, they began to question Allah, I told myself, listen, you have to talk to anyone and everyone
out there, give them the sense of belonging, tell them things will be okay to let them know that
		

			we're all going through it and we're going to come out of it. If people have lost their lives, give
them a good better good meaning give their family members a good and and if people have suffered the
loss of job, they don't know what's going to happen. They have anxiety, talk to them, that is part
of that hour you have maintained their identity, their identity, you have protected them from
questioning Allah and you have reached out to them now when you talk to them, they will listen to
you because they know this guy cares for us to panela so