Mufti Menk – Comfort in Times of Crisis #8

			Yeah
		

			Hello the monastery no BS sabemos sala de
		

			la Hamas RBD
		

			Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu
was Salam ala rasulillah where Allah Allah, he was happy Jemaine, my brothers and sisters, Allah
loves those who are clean. And Allah loves those who are pure, we have to purify the heart. And we
have to clean ourselves externally, as well as internally. Remember, the Almighty says, in Allah,
how you have
		

			been and what you have been removed upon hating, Allah loves those who constantly repent, and those
who cleanse themselves. This is verse number 222, of Surah Al Baqarah. So my brothers and sisters,
if you look at cleanliness, while we must keep our hands clean, while we must wash ourselves, while
we must actually clean ourselves in a specific way, five times a day, to make ourselves ready for
the prayer, we must make sure that our clothes are clean, our surrounding is clean, the environment
is clean, the house is clean, the bedding is clean, the food we eat is clean. All this is part of
the goodness that the almighty expects from us. Now, the Almighty only tells us to do that which is
		

			actually beneficial for us. So it can never be that he's instructed us something and it's not good
for us. It has to be beneficial it will be whether we understand it or not, sometimes disease
spreads. And we don't realize that the almighty had granted us a gift by teaching us about
cleanliness, so it did not spread as much amongst us. However, at times, it's just a lesson for us
to appreciate what the Almighty has actually revealed. So we become more conscious of the
cleanliness factor. That's a gift of Allah, you want comfort, in times of crisis, make sure that you
keep yourselves clean, make sure you clean your heart, like I said, Because what's the point of
		

			having such a good looking outward appearance, and your hands are clean and everything else is
smart, your clothes are ironed very well, you're looking very neat with your haircut and whatever
else it might be. But the way you speak is so bad, your heart is dirty, filled with disease filled
with hatred, jealousy, deception, and so on. If we cleanse ourselves, we will definitely be able to
achieve the comfort Allah says he loves those who seek forgiveness. And he also loves those who are
very, very clean. So if you were to seek forgiveness from the Almighty, then you would automatically
have to clean your heart because the two go together hand in hand, you clean your heart, you seek
		

			the forgiveness of the Almighty, He forgives you, and you have a big heart to forgive others as
well. Now, one of the things where people go wrong is in marriage when the marriage is struggling.
Remember, marriage is a very big sacrifice. If you are going to sacrifice you will be happy. If not,
it will become a crisis. So if you want to protect yourself from the crisis within marriage, learn
to trust one another and don't give reason for your spouse not to trust you. So while we're teaching
you to trust one another, we're telling you don't give reason for the other not to trust you. So
this is a very balanced statement. We must make sure we don't pry and spy on each other because the
		

			Almighty has warned us about that. Similarly, speak good with each other, help each other, reach out
to each other don't put pressure or don't actually ask one another to do that, which is going to be
difficult, very difficult, because then it might create a crack in that marriage. But the Almighty
says you know what?
		

			As much as it's a sacrifice, we want you to love each other. We want you to have children together
and to bring those children up. In my obedience. The Almighty says that's the whole name. It's not
about having children and having more children, and you don't even look after them and you're not
even bothered. That defeats the whole purpose. But if you have children and you look after them, and
you give them a good upbringing, then you will be from among those who's protected from crisis. Many
people have children and the children are the reason that they're upset and in crisis. The children
sometimes are the source of their hardship. May Allah subhanho wa Taala not let that happen to us.
		

			So Allah says, however, at times
		

			It might end up being very difficult such that you are discussing divorce. Divorce in Islam is not
prohibited. But it's not a joke either. It's a last resort, when someone really cannot make this
marriage work anymore. And it's causing problem, hardship difficulty, it's becoming a strain on the
brain. In that particular case, you may want to consider separating. And Allah says when you
separate, it's definitely difficult. There will be other acts of worship, you're going to have to
engage in that you never engaged in before. For example, if you have children, you will have to
allow access or custody to either party, you will have to allow that whether you marry again or not.
		

			You have no option but to cooperate. If you don't, the Almighty is watching he knows. So make things
easy. Never use your children as a tool or a weapon against one another. look after them spend on
them, even if they happen to be with the mother.
		

			Make sure that the children are given the best upbringing and it's all about the goodness of those
children. Learn to respect the mother or the father of your children, even if they're no longer your
spouse, learn to respect them for the mere fact that you had children together, even if they did bad
things, but put all those bad things aside when it comes to the betterment of the children. Yes,
there are cases where if a parent was so abusive, that they don't qualify anymore for the access or
the custody, that is a different issue. But that's not the norm. That's not what happens all the
time. We must try and give the children a balanced upbringing in order to avoid ourselves a crisis
		

			and in order to grant ourselves the comfort that we so need. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless every
one of us. When you make someone else's life difficult, Allah makes your life difficult remember
that it has to happen that way. So my beloved brothers and sisters, Allah speaks about divorce in
Surah Baqarah. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says, well, there is a way of divorcing you divorce once
thereafter, you may reconcile Wow, imagine what type of conflict it's the only teaching across the
globe throughout all religions that if you were to divorce, the Almighty says well, you can
reconcile come back, you may you might have realized something and you want to come back. So Allah
		

			says, For you, talaga ha fella, Juna Allah Hema, Raja, and if he had divorced her, there is no harm
if both of them would like to get back to each other together. That's the first divorce. So Allah
says, Well, if you feel you made a mistake, and you shouldn't have divorced, come back, come back
together. Look at the comfort Allah has given you in times of crisis. It was a crisis. You made a
mistake. You divorced someone Allah says, hang on, we have comfort for you. What's the comfort, get
back together. But remember, when you divorce, do it the proper way. Learn how to issue the divorce.
May Allah make it easy for us. Some people do the wrong thing, then they scream for help when they
		

			cannot be helped because they were foolish in the first place. But Allah says, Don't worry, we will
help you you do it the right way. We allow you to get back together not once, but twice, two times
you can get back together. So if you made a mistake and divorced, first time, come back. If you
divorced a second time, you had a change of heart, something happened which was positive, you felt
perhaps you wanted to get back or you thought you made a mistake. Allah says you can get back a
second time. So Hannah, look at the power of Allah. Look at the comfort has given us amazing. And
this is in Surah Al Baqarah, verse number 230. Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us in a beautiful way,
		

			then Allah says, If you divorce your spouse,
		

			don't become upset when they want to marry someone else. Make it easy for them, let them let them
go. Sometimes a person divorces and when they hear that their ex wants to get married, they start
putting a spoke in the wheels and a spanner in the works and they contact the new suppose ID spouse
and begin to spread rumor and say hurtful and hateful things. Allah says do not do that you want
comfort in your life. Let others live comfortably. It's okay, you didn't get along. They will get
along with someone else. That's what Allah subhanho wa Taala says. So he warns us he says don't hold
them back. Don't hold a woman back in a way that she's neither married to you because you're not
		

			fulfilling her rights. Nor is she divorced because you haven't issued the divorce so she cannot go
to someone else. Either fulfill her rights properly, or release her respectfully. That is how you
will achieve comfort Otherwise, you will be in the biggest crisis. May Allah subhanho wa Taala
protect us from crisis. So Allah Subhana
		

			hautala says that remember the favors of Allah upon you. Remember that Allah has blessed you with so
much. So count the favors of Allah don't have a chapter open and you want to interfere negatively in
your ex's life. Don't ever do that. That's your ex spouse, or that is a person you didn't get along
with, leave them alone say a good word about them. And that's it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala. Grant
us goodness. Similarly, the parents, the parents are being addressed to say, when the divorced girl
wants to marry someone else, don't make it hard for them. We go a step further and say, My beloved
parents when your daughter's or your sons would like to marry, someone, don't say no without a valid
		

			valid reason, if you don't have a valid reason, and racism is not a valid reason. tribalism is not a
valid reason. The fact that this person is darker in complexion is never a valid reason. So
remember, allow the marriages and Allah will allow for you to enter Paradise. Remember, if they're
making a mistake, after you've tried to explain to them your opinion, and they're still
		

			stuck on their view, and they don't want to budge, it's better sometimes to allow them to make what
you think is a mistake. And you might be surprised that they will be so happy. And even if it does
end up being a mistake, it's not the end of the world, they can actually come back home and still
happy and you can tell them my child, I love you. I told you it wouldn't work. But if we were to
stagnate and we were to actually never consider what they want, perhaps we would be creating a
crisis out of a comfortable situation, which is actually the opposite of what we're talking about
today. So my brothers and my sisters, and my beloved parents, facilitate for your siblings and your
		

			children to get married in a good way give them good guidance from the beginning. Tell them what
marriage is all about. Tell them how to choose a spouse so that the day they do take that step they
will remember your words. The difficulty is we never participate in the lives of those we're
supposed to be participating in. And then we complain May Allah forgive us a kulu Kohli haha or
sallallahu wasallam Allah Baraka ala nabina, Muhammad
		

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