Mufti Menk – Those Around You

			Assalamu alaikum This video is brought to you by Muslim Central media.com please follow us on social
media facebook.com forward slash Muslim Central and twitter.com forward slash Muslim Central. Also
check out our other websites, Muslim Central tube.com and Muslim Central images.com.
		

			Allah We thank him for everything he has given us. And indeed We send blessings and salutations.
		

			We appreciate the fact that Allah has blessed us to be from a monster of this noble Prophet, the
best of creation, the highest and most honored of all the messengers of Allah subhanho wa Taala. The
teachings that he has come with have covered every single aspect of our lives. And we are grateful
that we have an opportunity to be discussing some of these teachings and to use them as guidelines
in order to lead our lives. We also ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, to bless the messengers, as
well as all the companions of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his entire household and mela
bless every single one of us.
		

			My brothers and sisters, normally, under the norm, and the circumstances that most of us would be
facing, towards the peak of our lives, we would be faced with three categories of people. Or we
would find three categories of people living either together, or very closely together. Firstly, you
have parents. Secondly, you have the spouse. And thirdly, you have the children. These are three
categories of people that are
		

			kept in such a way that each one fulfills his or her role. And each one understand that Allah has
placed a certain feeling for the other within the heart. Take a look at parents, if Allah decided to
create us in a way that we did not know parents, or perhaps maybe in a way that some other creatures
multiply how men with the sense of belonging be such that a parent who feels like looking after
their own child would actually not even know who their children are, the point I'm raising is, it is
a blessing of Allah, that he has kept us with those who give birth to us, so that there is an
automatic connection between the two. So one feels the need to look after the other in such a way
		

			that later on in life, we other would then feel the need to take care of the former.
		

			And if you have the correct upbringing, and if you've lived according to the teachings of Allah
subhanho wa Taala. And even if a person has lived according to nature that is not contaminated. That
is known as kippah in the Arabic language, the uncontaminated nature, it would lead you to want to
look after those who gave birth to you, when you become slightly older, and they are a something
that is a miracle and a gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So today, we'd like to take a look at these
three categories. And say, for example, in the case of Moses, who are already saved within the 20s
or 30s, what we would consider the peak of your age, we would find something very interesting. Very
		

			few would be from amongst those who are not married, may Allah subhanho wa Taala ground spouses to
those who do not have spouses and maybe make those spouses, the coolness of their eyes. Remember my
brothers and sisters, if you happen to be someone's spouse, fulfill their rights do not make life
difficult for them. Remember that there is a big responsibility on your shoulders and life does not
last forever few years, you know the grains of our class continue to go down. And each time a grain
goes it is part of life that has actually gone never to come back. So remember, fulfill their eyes,
make sure that you are an asset to your spouse in a way that you can fulfill the entire picture that
		

			Allah subhanho wa Taala has kept all through his wisdom has actually placed us within. So if you
take a look at those who are not married, for example, and we've already made it to our for them, we
ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to bless them with their spouses, they have a right to food towards
the parents. And the parents would have already fulfilled their duty towards these who have now
become adults who were children at one stage and this is what
		

			He says that, indeed, some of your wealth and your offspring, all the wealth that we have bestowed
you with and your offspring,
		

			they are actually a test and he says, Oh you who believe, be mindful of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Be
mindful of the fact that from your spouses and your children, they could be those who lead you away
from Allah Subhana Allah hence, there is an enmity of a different nature between the two of you, we
need to ask Allah subhana wa Taala to constantly make us from those who can look after our children
in a way that we do not compromise the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala It is very tempting. One is
the love of Allah, which should be Supreme. And the other is the love of your child, which is there
definitely, but it does not exceed the love of Allah. So if your child out of the love of your own
		

			child, you would like to do something for that particular child. Make sure it is not compromising
the law, Allah subhanho wa Taala because life is a test as Allah says, your wealth, your children,
don't fail that test. If you fail the test what was the point of owning yourself a submitter unto
Allah subhanho wa Taala. So as much as we love to look after our children, to make them feel the
love for us to protect them in whatever way we can, we need to realize a few methods. One is try
your best number two is to not compromise the law of Allah. Number three is there will be certain
things that you are totally helpless about, which you have to surrender to. Sometimes I want my
		

			child to be healthy, Allah protect us all. But Allah subhanho wa Taala wants me to become occupied
in looking after the health of the child because he knows in the long run, it's better for me,
perhaps that is my door to paradise. So therefore what he does is he makes the child sick, and they
will protect the soil and ground cure to those who are secretive.
		

			So we don't realize this and then we start doing things that are sometimes people visit the fortune
tellers, sometimes they visit those who claim to know the unseen. So on this now we begin to go
away, drift away from Allah because of our love for the child of ours, not realizing that you know
what Allah loves that child more than I can ever love is the supreme. That is the basic statement
the movement believes in, Allah gave you the child, so he loves the child more than you. He knows
what is better, he knows where and how the child is. In fact, if he wants he can kill the child
quicker than anyone else. But he's a skeptic in this way. It's a test for you. The same applies to
		

			those who do not have offspring. Sometimes people are made, they don't have offspring, that for you
is your test from Allah. Allah, He loves you more than you love yourself, you need to notice he has
given you rules and regulations. They can never ever be to your detriment. He says, You've got to
believe in Tata Tata, meaning predestiny. And you've got to be happy with what I choose to you. It's
		

			true believer would surrender to the law of Allah, Allah, I really want this, and I beg you for it.
But if you're not going to give me an hour, I'm still happy with your decision. Sometimes Allah
knows that if he were to give you something, perhaps it might lead you astray. Perhaps there might
be a point of greatest sadness in the long run such that you will not be able to handle it. So Allah
says it's easier for you to handle me not having given it to you in the first place. Now Allah
subhanho wa Taala bless us. This is Allah. And this is why we say fulfill the rights of one another
and understand that you will always be a child, you will always be a person who is someone's child,
		

			because for you to have come here in this world
		

			is
		

			long versus
		

			short, Seward. Yes, we are Anahata Allah is speaking of how he has made a declaration. He has
decided that you are men. You will not worship anyone but you will make whoever made you there is a
lot of Madonna. You worship Him alone. No act of worship is to be rendered to anyone else. And point
number two he says he has decided and declared you will be kind to your parents. No matter who they
are. They can be pushy. They can be Muslim. They can be
		

			confer they can be Christians. They can be Jews no matter what they are, Allah has declared, you
shall be kind to your parents, we chose them in your direction to come, and to be those who have
parents of yours. So it's a test for you. Remember, be kind. And sometimes, you know, we do know
people ask the question, What did they want me For example, to go and buy them alcohol from the
shops? Simple question
		

			that is answered in the Quran where Allah subhanho wa Taala says, if they are trying to make you do
something that is against what Allah has decreed and declared, know that Allah comes first. So with
respect, you declined, but you don't have to be unkind and disrespectful. Don't mix the two, that is
the test. If we are prepared to fulfill the role that we are supposed to be as children, towards our
parents, half the problems of society and community will be open. Now, what about the animals?
		

			When there is no how to fulfill the rights of their own children, then inshallah three quarters of
the matter is so?
		

			So Pamela, and what about the last quarter, one might say, well, maybe it's more than a quarter. But
when the spouses one another, say the parents, if I, for example, have my own children, and the
spouses who are the parents of those particular children myself, if I don't know how to treat my own
spouse, how will I be an example for my own children, and this is why the relationship between the
spouses is such that Allah advises you in advance how to choose one.
		

			So this is why
		

			someone has told us when you want to get married, some people look at the wealth, a wealthy family,
let me get married, they don't have to work anymore.
		

			Some people might look at the status, hey, this person is very popular, they're very high, you know,
they're very well known, they vary and so on, then you get married at least have become a famous
person. Some people might look at this the lineage, for example, the standing alone, and say, this
person's comes from such and such lineage, and so on. And let me get married in there, I'll benefit
from it and this in that in whatever other way, some people will look at the character and the D.
You know, that Mashallah this person is religious, this person has given them and let me get married
so that I can protect my offspring. If you notice carefully, the offspring only comes in a bigger
		

			way, in the last in the last look at the last policies mentioned. That's where you really worried
about your offspring. So those who are worried about themselves have not understood that when you
get married, something strange happens. You actually start aging, you actually grow old, you age,
you become wrinkled, you become old, to the degree that you have, you might even get a little bit
sick in the presence of your spouse. But when you were with your parents, the opposite happened,
what happened, you grew up from weakness to strength, you were with your parents, and from strength
to weakness, you are with your spouse, think about it very carefully. Allah has blessed you such
		

			that, you know, you grow, you're at your peak, you grow weak person, and then you growing and you
becoming strong and powerful.
		

			With your spouse, becoming stronger by the day, but no, Allah says, hang on, you are with your
parents, when you reach your peak, and now you're heading downwards, who are you and now you are
with someone else. And we make a mistake to think right, I'm going to show off and see, this is how
strong I am. This is what I can do, not realizing that the picture changes, you now need to have
your children and you now need to fulfill the role of reproduction. That is part of what Allah has
sent you on to the earth.
		

			And this is why people who think you know what, this is a handsome guy, a pretty girl. That's the
totally wrong decision. It's the totally wrong reason. The reason is that, from the start
deteriorating the day you married,
		

			if you were to marry them, for example, at a much earlier age, it might have been different but that
you and I know that it's not it's not part of the Sharia. What we are taught is you reach an age of
understanding maturity, there is an age of puberty that Allah has chosen for you and I that's when
you get married. And what would happen after that you start going down on time. And now you should
be concerned of your children. So you get happy, and you become even more happier when Allah blesses
you with. Have you ever seen a man with his children, he might not have that much time. But with his
grandchildren, he makes so much time it makes him so happy to see these are my grandchildren. Wow.
		

			So Pamela, my grandchildren, they take much more pride sometimes and the father or mother
themselves.
		

			So, the point being raised is if we understand that Allah has given so much of importance to the
relationship between the spouses such that even before you get married, he's advising you watch out.
We're not saying that you need to marry someone who really doesn't look, you know, acceptable, but
your marriage
		

			Someone decent, you might want to marry someone you know similar thinking who clicks to get on with
you and so on or whom there is compatibility with to that degree. And thereafter you need to
understand when the when the two of you come together, you need to worry more about the children
than anything else and you need to worry about you returning to Allah subhanho wa Taala because your
peak is dead. So, I become a more pious person, you find people start reading Salah, they become a
little bit more serious, sometimes towards the latter part of their lives, which is a good sign, but
it's a bad sign also good sign in that, okay, it's not too late. But a bad sign in that what if we
		

			went why once we were far away from Allah, Allah bless us all, and grant us the turning point even
before we are married, and even at a young age. This is why one speaks very good news to a young man
who's grown up in his teen years and just beyond, Sha
		

			youngster who grows in the obedience of Allah, so they have not needed to come back to Allah in that
way. That for example, a person who transgressed wholesale had to come back to Allah because they
were more or less on the path, perhaps my innocence, perhaps they might have, you know, human error
and nature and so on. But not that they lost Allah completely. As they grew up, Allah Subhana Allah,
Allah grant us the strength. So my brothers and sisters, it is extremely important to realize these
three circles of people within our own selves and within our own little lives that we need to panela
with your parents fulfill their rights, be kind to them, because your children, remember, they are a
		

			gift to you, as they grow as they get married, help them guide them, do not let the love you have
for your children exceed the love you have for Allah subhanho wa Taala, we guide them and we
understand and realize, if something then happens beyond our control, then we surrender to Allah, I
give you a small example, those who lost their children, while they were still young, this child did
not grow up, the child did not get married, the child did not have his or her own offspring. That
was the plan of Allah to teach you how do you react as for the child, they have returned to one who
loves them more than you and I are so worried about the fact that all this child and that child,
		

			Allah knows why the child is born, but it's a test for you. So take it as a test, surrender to the
law of Allah surrender to what Allah has chosen for you. And thereafter, we need to know and I'm
mentioning this for the second time. And I'm mentioning this because of how important it is. Let us
fulfill the rights of our spouses. Let us make sure that we live such an exemplary life that we as
our children grow up, they learn how to treat a spouse, when your daughter grows up, and she watches
you as a mother, she will understand how to treat her own husband. And as you go, or your child
grows, watching you as a man, for example, your child will understand and realize the role of a
		

			husband. Let's hope that we give them some good teachings good examples. Because remember, many of
us are occupied earning our livelihoods to the degree that we sometimes abandoned, or sometimes we
ignore the Rights of the Child, we're working from the morning to the evening, the little child
comes to you with homework over something, we have no time we ignore, we pass them on to the other
spouse, we say you know what you handle this, you take care of this, but the child needed you, they
will come a day when either you have gone or the child has gone. And by that time it's too late. And
when we say gone, either they die or either they are married or not. And this is why it's important
		

			for us to know those who have been blessed with a fourth category.
		

			And that fourth category is your siblings, siblings, that is also a very, very important category of
people were your brothers and sisters, the way you treat them is extremely important we need to know
as we go, some are older, Allah has given them virtue. Some are younger, Allah has declared that
mercy be upon them, you need to treat them correctly, you need to understand it doesn't mean that
now I am older than the one who's younger than me so I can bully him and make him my my servant, for
example. That happens sometimes, sometimes we become upset because of the virtue Allah has blessed
one over the other. That is not the quality of a Muslim. If Allah has blessed one without the other
		

			with children, for example, the other one the good home, and the other one, or more than one with
something. Remember, the sibling rivalry from a young age can actually see right through to
adulthood, and it can cause problems and the meaning for someone who may not know sibling rivalry is
when your children are as children. You fight with your brothers and sisters to a great degree where
it leaves a scratch or a mark in the heart Even when you become old. You know, when I was
		

			This brother or the sister used to constantly do this to me. So this is why it's the parents role to
guide the children to learn to love one another. And to understand that each one is ready to get
married, each one will go off, each one will probably have something that they are uniquely chosen
by Allah to guide them to say learn to love one another, because it is Allah subhanho wa Taala, who
has placed you in that position, you have no choice about, the only thing you have a choice about is
your spouse you choose. As for your parents, your children, your siblings, you have no choice. This
is why when you look at it carefully, when Allah subhanho wa Taala has given you one choice, you
		

			make the best of choices, he's telling you look, we've given you a choice to choose a spouse. The
rest of it, we're going to do, the type of children the complexion, whether they tall or short, how
lucky or fortunate is our troops, who were your parents, our choice who will who is going to be the
siblings of those children of yours is our choice. So choose well, because you just got one out of
four lucky But imagine if Allah gave us all of those to choose. One wonders what type of periods we
would have, what type of siblings we would have, and what would happen on the globe. Allah subhanho
wa Taala bless us, really, I hope we've learned a lesson or two, and I hope that we can all be
		

			motivated to fulfill our roles as spouses or as children as parents.