Mufti Menk – Am I allowed to cry when I’ve lost a loved one?

			Salam aleikum, my brothers and sisters, it's not funny. People are losing their lives. Loved ones
are being lost fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, spouses are being lost Subhana Allah,
they're returning obviously to the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But we're left with something
very, very big in terms of responsibility, these orphans, these widows, or these people who have
lost their loved ones, who's going to help them who's going to reach out to them who is going to
comfort them at a time when we have this pandemic, everyone is actually worried about so many
things. Subhan Allah? Do you know what, if you have lost a loved one, there is no harm. There is
		

			nothing wrong in crying, crying is natural. You're a human being, you Weep not because you're
questioning Allah, but because you're going to miss your loved one, because they probably did so
much for you, and they were the breadwinner of the home. And they did so much SubhanAllah. And now
that you've lost them, it's not going to be easy. So you shed a tear or two, it's normal, it's
natural, it's acceptable, and it is not a sign of weakness of a man to cry, even the Prophet
Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam when he lost his son about him, and on more than one occasion, when he's
when he shed a tear. He clearly said this is not because we're questioning Allah. We will not say a
		

			word that is displeasing to Allah. But we are sad at the separation between us in this world. Allah
separated me from my son, Ibrahim, that's what he said. And we are sad that your separation my
beloved Son, so the Sahaba their loved one who asked him about his tears. Do you know what he said?
In nama? Here, Mattoon, Allah, Allah Fie by de Rama. Indeed, it's a sign of mercy that Allah has
placed. It's the mercy that Allah has placed in the hearts of those who have a bit of mercy. Those
who are merciful. May Allah help us. So if someone were to tell you, you're not allowed to cry, they
are wrong. It's not only something normal and natural, but it's not even a sign of weakness of a
		

			man, my brother, my sister, we are with you in this loss. Another thing
		

			we need to understand Yes, yes, indeed. There will be days when you feel low, and days, when you
feel slightly better. You're just a human, it's normal, it's natural. Pray for your disease, the
best thing you could do for your deceased is simple is still far, or ALLAH forgive them, grant them
Gen. Allah mohila, who were who were second gen. Oh Allah, forgive him, have mercy on him and grant
him his abode in paradise. That's probably a very powerful to app. There are a few other soon to ask
that you learn learn them with the meaning make do it that way. Allah Mozilla who are humble, while
he was one who worked at Mozilla, who was cmo, the holla, who was the seal who Bill Maher He will
		

			send you in but when I take him in Adobe will have I cannot even have a cell will be a minute,
Dennis, these are powerful to us, that you're calling out to Allah to grant forgiveness to the
deceased. That's the most important thing you could ever, ever do. If the deceased person had some
debts, they owed people money, perhaps you could help pay that if the deceased person had something
outstanding, perhaps you could help in that regard. You may want to do a charity on behalf of the
deceased according to most of the scholars that would actually benefit. if you for example, drill
the well. Or for example, you might have built a Masjid or you might have done something, if you
		

			feel good about it. SubhanAllah you use your money, you use your money to do that. And you said Oh
Allah, this is for your sake, and I'm doing it on behalf of the deceased. So it's not for the sake
of the deceased, but it's for the sake of Allah. And you'd like the reward to go to the deceased. So
you're saying I'm doing it on behalf of this person. The same applies to Hajj, or something the
person might have promised to do and they couldn't fulfill it. You're allowed to actually do the
Hajj or Umrah on behalf of the deceased and Allah be even more hidden ahead by his permission by his
will, he may accept that from you. But still the most powerful thing to do is actually to just make
		

			a stellar fall for this particular person repeatedly, repeatedly meaning morning, afternoon, evening
and night you can repeat the same to similarly if you're a good obedient, relative obedient son or
daughter obedient spouse, in the sense that obedient to Allah subhanho wa Taala and and you've been
good to Allah subhanho wa Taala in terms of your relationship with Allah, that automatically will
benefit the deceased, especially when they've played a role in bringing you up when they've played a
role in encouraging you to do good. If you do the good, they get a full reward for all of that. So
remember this.
		

			There is there is no specific
		

			you know, prayer to make from the Quran. People say we should gather on so many days, and we should
gather every so many days or when the year passes or in 40 days.
		

			Pass etc. That is not from the Quran nor is it from the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi
wasallam. Nor is it correct to gather people together and to say, we're going to be doing all of
these acts of worship together and collectively so that we can you know what people are free to do
things on their own make dua within their own homes for the same deceased person. It doesn't have to
be synchronized in terms of time. It doesn't have to be synchronized in terms of a place. So Allah
subhanho wa Taala knows and he is aware.
		

			I wanted to go back to the first point, let's not engage in what's known as wailing, wailing,
meaning screaming and hitting each other, meaning hitting our chests and tearing our close, that is
displeasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala because we will accept humbly the decree that Allah has
chosen for our loved one and for us, while Qatar fiery washerwomen Allah tala Taka de predestinate
predestiny the good and bad of it comes from Allah, we won't question Allah subhanho wa Taala. But
we definitely do know that it's going to be difficult, I'm a human being I asked the help of Allah
subhanho wa Taala. And I'm hoping that Allah will make it easy for me, Allah will make it easy for
		

			me. So in that particular way, we've understood not to do all this wailing and crying and screaming
and questioning of Allah subhanho wa Taala, take it in your strike the suburb and the patients that
you will bet you're going to have a full reward for all of that. Another good bonus is during the
COVID virus and all this plague type of sickness that has spread, It is reported that people who
pass away in that are considered martyr, in terms of
		

			certain rules and regulations of the hereafter. So you're a martyr in the hereafter. As for in this
world, you will still be given the shroud and you will still be, you know, the prayer will still be
offered and so on. Because it's not a matter of the highest level. But it's a matter of a different
level where you're a martyr for hereafter purposes, but not for worldly purposes. Whereas the other
you're a martyr in both ways. So May Allah make it easy for all of you. And I promise you, Who knows
you may be hearing of my death or somebody else's death in a very short space of time, it can happen
and you know what, it has happened to so many. So let's be prepared for this and let's not jostle to
		

			get to the front of everything all the time. You know, we don't need that. We Let's not fight with
one another. You have an opinion, I have my opinion. I love you, my brother or my sister with the
difference of opinion, no need to become ugly about it. This is a time of pandemic. Perhaps after
some time, you might find I was right. And perhaps after some time, we might find you were right. So
increase your EBITDA, increase your solla increase your liquid, your remembrance of Allah, your acts
of worship, increase your recitation of the Quran, learning the meaning of the Quran, and inshallah
we should all be preparing for the meeting with a light it's not a bad thing. It is something that
		

			Allah will choose for us. However, I close with the same way that I started, if you have lost a
loved one will lie here we stand with you. It's not funny anymore. It was never funny, actually.
Just today I heard of the death of
		

			a relative. And I've been hearing of these deaths every day. In fact, in South Africa, for the last
two weeks or more. There's been more than a person an hour passing away consistently every single
day, on average, so May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy. I'm talking about the Muslim Ummah,
just the Muslims. Imagine if we were to count everyone else, and we care for humanity at large.
		

			May Allah make it easy. I'm not trying to scare people, because obviously the bulk and the majority
are still getting cured. And the bulk and the majority are still coming out of it. But it's not a
joke. It's difficult those days are really really tough days. And then when you ultimately lose a
loved one, very few people are with you. And you can't even do much because there is fear of losing
more people. We've how many families have we known more than one have passed away? I know of a
family everyone passed away besides a six year old child. May Allah make it easy for everyone.
Baraka Luffy can stay well stay safe. May Allah protect all of us and May Allah eradicate this. We
		

			need to seek the forgiveness of Allah. Turn to salah and allow open our doors at the same time.
Don't be foolish. take precautions there's no harm. In fact, it is our duty to take precautions and
we lay our trust in Allah subhanho wa Taala akula cola was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah