Maryam Lemu – Marriage Gems #03

			Make an appointment to write. If something was bothering me, I realized, since he said I had a big
mouth, I had to find alternatives. So I would actually tell him, so it's something is bothering me.
Whenever you feel it's okay, I would like to talk. And at first, it was very hard because he didn't
want to face those kinds of things he wasn't comfortable with. Let's sit and talk. So those are
things that Alhamdulillah we've come a long way because right now he'll just say, hey, come, let's
talk, however, then he would sometimes take about a day or two, inside, I would be burning with
anger and I want to blow up. But I kept controlling myself and focusing on the fact that I want a
		

			resolution. So I had to learn patience, which was something I didn't have either, but Alhamdulillah
by the time so it calls me and says, Hey, come, what do you want to talk about? Sit here. Tell me
what's bothering you. It's not possible for me to blow up. Because we are. He's not calling me to
talk when already I'm burning. So sometimes I know my brother used to say the CVO anger for another
day. If something is bothering you, you're burning up inside, we today are we two days before
talking about it, the fire won't be as hot. There's this quote, I say often don't light a match in a
petrol station. So when you're both hot when you are angry, that's not the time to try and resolve
		

			issues. What I found also that really helped is the fact that when he says come sit down, and I sit
next to him, there's some form of physical contact between us. It douses the flames, it just makes
you feel a bit more intimate. And it's hard for conflict to come. It's hard to sit next to somebody
when you're really mad and you're hot. Yeah. So and sometimes when I take a day or two, I'm trying
to calm to put out the fire. Before we sit down, have that conversation. And by the time we get to
the point I'm also mentally prepared not to allow anything that she may have said out of anger or
frustration, annoying me. So you mentally prepared, I'm not going to get angry. I'm not going to get
		

			upset. I will filter out the annoying or irritating phrases or words and just try to get to the crux
of the matter and address the issue. So that is why sometimes I by the time