Maryam Lemu – Marriage Gems #02

			How we moved from the disappointment, the toxicity, the decision not to bring a child into the world
where there is no love, there is no affection, there is no empathy. There's no emotional
intelligence and care for one another would not be fair because we so wanted to be deliberate
parents, we wanted to make sure that our children saw in us what we want them to be as parents
themselves, because we often replicate what we see in our homes. But I think yes, like so it said,
it took us six years for me, I knew I wasn't ready. I was still growing, still learning spiritually.
I was lost, I didn't have focus. I didn't feel Allah's presence in my life. And I felt, how will I
		

			teach what I don't have. And that is so important as parents that you need to get yourself in order
before you can get others in order before you can be a parent, you need to be a model, you really
have to have your act together. And I said, I need to go back again, and look into myself. Am I
ready to be a good father? And are you ready to be a good mother out? Do we understand the
sacrifices necessary to bring a child into this world and not make the victims of the problems
between the two of us? So we agreed to really look into that. It took me three years to be ready to
be a father.
		

			When I told my mom, I think I'm ready and she said I'm ready. I don't think so. Well, To cut a long
story short, it took the two of us six years, with all the pressure we will get are getting pressure
from my late father are getting pressure from my mother. At first I told him she was too young. Now
then my father gave me like a couple of years old enough now that
		

			I had to come up with a line. And it was true. I told my father, it wasn't a less time for us to
become parents. Because we're not having this child for anybody. We're not having the chair for my
parents. We're not having the chair for her parents. Nobody should pressure you into having a child
because ultimately you were the ones that Allah will hold accountable for how you raise the child
and if you're not ready to be a proper parent, to be the best parent you can be. Children should not
be experiments.
		

			You should be prepared to be parents