Maryam Amir – Muslim Women’s Roles
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The speakers discuss the importance of being a mother and a woman in the Islamic culture. They also talk about the struggles women face in their careers and the importance of praying in their time. They mention various narratives and stories about women in their time, including a woman who talked about being a woman, a woman who talked about praying in the prophet's area, a woman who talked about being a woman, a woman who talked about being a woman, a woman who talked about being a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman, a woman
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The only reason that Allah created jinn and ins is so that Allah, we
would worship Allah. Now, how does worship look like? That's
expansive. When I was in college, I listened to a lecture called the
ideal Muslimah. I was 19, I wasn't married, I wasn't a mother, and I
was very excited about figuring out how I can be the Ideal Muslim
woman. And the entire hour lecture was talking about how to be an
ideal wife, and becoming an ideal wife and becoming an ideal mother
are very powerful, beautiful, wonderful things to become. But
that lecture should have been titled, How to Become the ideal
Muslimah wife,
and when we don't put those nuances in our discussion of what
it means to be the ideal Muslimah, the message that we here is your
number one role in life is to be a wife and a mother. I
Alhamdulillah, I'm very blessed to be a wife and very blessed to be a
mother. And I know I'm very privileged to say that that's a
blessing. Because I know people are struggling to get married.
People are struggling in their marriages. People are struggling
out of being married. I know people are struggling with being
parents, with infertility. I know that those are privileges that I
say that
at the same time, despite the fact that those are privileges like I'm
saying this from a privileged position,
it's important to recognize that your worth is not defined by your
relationship status or your motherhood status, and on a
spiritual level. The reason why it's important to clarify this is
because so many women have spoken with me about not being in a
relationship, about not having children, or being in one and
being very unhappy, or struggling with the fact that they're
mothers, and feeling like somehow that affects the relationship with
Allah, somehow that brings their level of piety lower. Have you
ever felt like your place in our community had to do with your
status, your relationship status, your motherhood status? So many of
you are nodding your heads, when, in reality, it depends on your
situation, how you worship Allah subhanahu wa
so yes, wifehood and motherhood are beautiful. Are highly
encouraged. Sunan, it is highly encouraged to get married. If it's
the right situation, you're highly encouraged to have children. But
that doesn't mean that's your only path to Allah.
Sheik Akram Nadu, we talks about over 8000 female muhaddifat Women
Hadith scholars. And he says that every single one of them, if they
were able to fulfill their obligations in their family home,
if they were married and had kids, they also continued their studies,
and they also taught, and they taught men and women.
So even if this is your number one role right now, I know sometimes,
and we're focusing specifically on motherhood and white food right
now, but I know sometimes, as a mother, you feel like that's all
that defines you your children, and then when they leave the
house, you don't know what to do. That's all you've invested your
time in. May Allah, bless you. That's a huge sacrifice for your
entire life, 20 years of your life. It's a huge sacrifice,
and it's hard to say. Also study Islam, also memorize Quran, also
go out and do this. We don't value the immense sacrifice that you put
into being a mom and into maintaining a household. The
Prophet saw some told us that we're all responsible for our
flocks, like a shepherd, and if you have a household, if you
married, if you have kids, those are your responsibilities.
Absolutely. I Alhamdulillah, for the past three nights, I've slept
two hours, not consecutively. The first two Alhamdulillah slept
almost four last night, not consecutively.
And when I think about the efforts of mothers who are doing this
constantly, and then on top of that, to tell them, to tell us be
something more, being a mother is enough. That is incredible. And
when you're ready to do something different, this is Sheik Akram,
example of the mahadifat When you are ready for something different,
too. The muhaddifat are examples of women who did something
different too.
When you're in a relationship, it is you and your husband who work
together to decide how you're going to maintain your household.
That is within the Islamic priorities, you have that
discussion together, and you and you work together as a unit.
But moving beyond the discussion of wifehood and motherhood, there
are so many women in Islamic history who've shown us different
ways of worshiping Allah. Let's talk about specifically in the
society of the Prophet.
Ahmed, sallAllahu, alaihi wasallam. Give me a name of a
female companion that comes to your mind right away, Aisha,
radila. Anha, okay, we'll start with Aisha.
We'll go to Khadija. Aisha radiah, we know that she was married to
the Prophet sallallahu sallam. Was she a mother?
She was never a mother. She was a scholar in medicine. She was a
scholar in lineage. She was a scholar of Islam.
And when the Battle of the Camel happened, she was the head of an
army.
Sheik Yusuf karoloi mentions that she regretted her stance because
she was on the wrong side politically, but she didn't regret
going out and being the leader of an army when
we talk about Khadija, radila and Ha, she was married radila Hua and
Ha, she was a mother and she was also a businesswoman. Different
aspects of her life identified became the identity of who she
was. And
it's important for us to recognize that she was a businesswoman
before she was the wife of the Prophet sallallahu seven, and
before she was a mother. And it's okay for you, for her career to
have defined who she was. And she used all of that, all of the money
that she had, to support the message of Islam, and to support
her husband when she was married, and he came with a message the law
Aliyah, send them.
When we look at someone who fought in a battle, who was in Ohad with
the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa salam to his left, to his right.
Who do you come who comes to mind in terms of a female sahabih,
yes, Omaha Tia. We're talking about Nusrah, but that wasn't the
only battle that she was in with the Prophet. Saw them. She was in
multiple battles. She lost her hand or her arm to Allah, and then
she became someone with a special ability. Because special ability,
Muslims are leaders in our community, in our history.
Excuse me when we talk about
Ummah Atiyah Nusa Verdi, ALA, she was also a mother. But that's not
the first description that comes to our mind when we think about
umna Seva, Ummah Atiyah, Nusa, Verdi, Alabama, because she also
had a different capacity, which she served the ummah. Not that her
motherhood wasn't enough, but when she was ready, she did something
else too. I want to highlight this particular nuance, because I grew
up hearing in my community that my greatest goals in life should be
wifehood and motherhood, and so many of you have too. And it's
important for us to recognize that that's not necessarily an Islamic
narrative, as in, there's nothing in the Quran that states you must
become a mother, you must get married. That's very different
from something that's highly encouraged, a highly encouraged
sunnah, which we want to follow out of our love for the Prophet
sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam. Does that clarification make sense?
Does it make a difference when you know that distinction, it makes
it. It makes a difference spiritually. It makes a difference
when we see in the time of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam
sat, she was a poet, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam praised her poetry. Rafael do Asmaa and rufaila was a surgeon
in the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, sad,
even more. Ad, who's a great companion of the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wa sallam. When he was injured, the Prophet sallallahu
Sallam put her in charge of his care because he wanted the best,
and she was the best at what she did.
When we look at examples in the time of the Prophet sallallahu
Sallam a woman who excelled in their worship. There was a woman
who was a wife of the Prophet sallam, Salama, as mentioned by
Ibn Hajar. This is a narration in Bukhari. We often hear that it's
better for a woman to pray in her home, and that that's where she's
going to get more rewards.
There are narrations that specify this, but there are hundreds of
narrations that talk about some of the female companions who would go
for every Salah, the encouragement of the female companions to come
out on nay, to pray Janaza, to pray Juma. We have narrations of
women who talked about when at mashupa, when the Qibla was
changed from one direction to the next. What happened? There was a
woman, a female companion, who talked about how the woman's rose
moved over and switched with the men's rose. That's because women
were present in all of these situations. Women were present in
the Muslim community, in the Muslim society, in the masajid.
And when we talk about going to the masjid and being that, being
our space, we look at um Salam aladha, who used to have istihala.
Istihallah is a type of bleeding that's not your period. So we have
certain rules relating Salah in your period. Istihala is a
different type of blood. It comes at a different time. That's not
your period blood. It doesn't affect whether or not you can do
salah, for example.
So.
Salaam Alaikum. She used to pray in the prophet's masjid,
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This is in buchare.
Now, there was no barrier between the men and the woman in the time
of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in his Masjid. So if you're
entering the masjid and you look back and you see the woman's
section, you're going to see women there praying if you're a man
entering the Masjid. To clarify, so um, Salama used to have
istijla, and they didn't have like pads and stuff like we do today.
So what she would do is she would have put a tray underneath her so
that when she was praying, it would catch the blood and it
wouldn't get on the floor of the Masjid.
Now this is a authentic narration, and Ibn Haja, which is an
authentic source, talks about and describes it. This is her
dedication to the masjid, her dedication to being a part of the
Muslim community and a part of the worship of the Muslim community.
But these are their narrations that we're not often exposed to,
and when we're not exposed to these women who went out of their
way to be a part of society who are critical for the way that
society changed when we don't make that a part of our normal
conversation, all we hear is you, religiously, in the eyes of Allah,
are only connected to your relationship status or
your motherhood status, super important,
but not the only things that define us Are you with me? Do you
agree with me? Well, if you disagreed with me, you don't have
a platform. I'm on the stage. I have the mic. I'm in the power of
privilege. It's really difficult.
This is privilege. It's okay to disagree. This is a very emotional
topic in our community, and that's okay, but what's important for us
is to recognize that just as we are so different, the women in the
time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were very
different too.
So in the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there
were women who are part of the political process, who made baya
with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who she fat bin to
Abdullah, put in charge of the marketplace. These are women who
show us all different aspects of worshiping Allah. So when we are
trying to figure out what our roles are, when we are told
messages of it being better for us not to be out in society, for it
to be better for us not to be involved. Remember their examples.
These are women who showed us what it looked like to be on the
battlefield, what it looked like to pray in the masjid, even with
blood coming out, what it looked like to be a part of the prophetic
society, and what it look like to be our role models today in
America, where we can actually channel their examples. May Allah
bless your children if you are mothers. May Allah bless your non
children if you're not. May Allah make it easy for all of you to
seek what you're seeking and make it better than what you're
seeking, because it's for his sake you.