Maryam Amir – Connecting to Prayer and Gratitude
AI: Summary ©
The host of a radio show discusses various topics including the importance of learning from the speaker's "immaterial gratitude" concept, finding the right way to trust, building a strong emotional connection to Islam, and praying for Islam while moderating discussions. The importance of physical touch is crucial for building relationships and creating deeper connections, and the need for physical touch is crucial for staying connected to Islam. The host of a gems program encourages sponsor and subscribers to sponsor a future Friday gems program, but mentions they do not have a family sponsor. The importance of understanding who Allah is and trusting him to deal with people who don't love, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, caring, loving, car
AI: Summary ©
Islam is everybody welcome to another session of Friday gem to
celebrate mercy. I hope all of you are doing well. We are so happy to
have you all. We'd love to know where you're tuning in from today,
where you're joining us from for today's session. I'm really
excited. We have even Mihal Khan, who will be reciting for us. We
also have a Miriam Amir who's like one of my favorite speakers of all
time. So I know we're all in for a treat. So again, welcome to Friday
gems. Please let us know where you're tuning in from. Inshallah.
Will share a few of those later. We'll share a few of those
comments inshallah a little bit later in the program, we could go
ahead and get started for today. So again, we are live now, and you
see this link scrolling across the screen. Celebrate your mercy. Com,
forward slash Friday. So please do share this link with your friends,
your family. It is Friday. This is the day of betica and blessings.
And so we want to invite all of our friends, our family, to enjoin
in those blessings. And it's a great way for you to get
blessings, but also for them to get blessings, as well as to just
share that link, celebrate mercy. Com, forward slash Friday.
And if you don't know about celebrate mercy, this is your
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I think this slide is wrong. I think we started over about 11
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notoriety through those causes in Hamdan that
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doing online, but these are some of our old sessions where we in
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Abuja head, many people have been that have joined us for this
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couple, it's one webinars have been the peace in a pandemic. We
had a lot of lot of programs online. We hope that you benefit
from these programs. I've definitely benefited just just
watching and also working with celebrate mercy. It's been a
blessing to be a part of this and to be a part of your you all's
like lives.
And we also had courses like our black lives around the messenger,
which is one of our biggest courses that we usually have in
February. And so having that, we've done a lot. We also have
Rasul week, which we do in rem and I'm sure we will be doing it again
this year. So as you see, since covid, we've done a lot of
content. We've produced over 650 hours of new content, um, over 350
webinars, six online campaigns. We've been able to do a lot all
through the grace of God and through your help and your duaz
and your donations. So if you see that link, celebrate mercy. Com,
forward slash, donate, you can help us keep going and keep
engaging in these different projects and these different
webinars inshallah. And before you go into the program, we kind of
want to remind ourselves, why do we recite tultunkaf on Friday and
a reminder from the message of Allah, He said, For the person who
recites rutkaf On Fridays, a light will appear for him from below the
throne as high as the skies, and this light will help him in the
darkness of the day upon the Day of Resurrection, and all the sins
which he may have committed from the last Friday until this Friday
will be forgiven. So we make that intention Inshallah, that our sins
are forgiven and that we have this light. Say Amin Inshallah, and
again, you can't celebrate mercy. One thing we say is sharing is
khairing. So this is a great way for you to gain that Khayr
Inshallah, gain the good and gain the reward is by sharing this
flyer on social media. You can tweet about this, you can post on
Facebook, Instagram. Have them now we've posted this Friday all over
our social media. And so you can send this flyer on your whatsapp
groups, your text message invite them to engage in this. Because if
you benefit other people through sharing it, you get that you they
get that reward, and also you get that reward. And I know we're all
trying to reap all of the rewards on this.
Blessed day. And so definitely do share that flyer and share the
link again. Celebrate mercy. Com, forward slash Friday. So we are
about to jump into the recitation portion of this program, and today
we have Imani haflan, which many of you may remember from our
Ramadan series. He joined us every night for our juz recitation
Inshallah, so I'm going to read his bio. So ima Mihan Khan is a
Director of Religious Affairs at the Islamic Center of Connecticut
and an Arabic instructor at Huaca Institute. And he holds a Master's
in religious religious studies from the Hartford Seminary. He
studied at the Harvard Divinity School and received an ademia
divinity degree in Islamic law and theology from the Dwar in Lucknow
India, and a bachelor's in psychology from Montclair State
University. He has also worked with the most community Muslim
community in Connecticut, New Jersey, New York and Georgia, as a
hospital chaplain, Imam and youth director. And you can see his most
recent project in a podcast entitled faith and fine print
Mashallah. He's done a lot. He's joined us on celebrate mercy many
times. I'm sure he's one of our favorite reciters. Hamdah here. So
Imam Mihan, welcome to the stage. It's good to see you again. Have
the NA so we'll get started very soon. Sounds good? Should I go
ahead and unmute my clubhouse? Mike, yeah, I think that'll be
good. Inshallah. Okay, cool. I
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Is Imam Nihan Hamdan dala was a beautiful recitation, and we're
always so glad to have Imam Nihad join us during Friday gems.
Inshallah, we're going to go ahead and get started to the next
portion of the program
so that pull up my screen until again we have just finished the
recitation portion, but we have a lot left in the program. So do
Invite your family and friends. You can post this on Twitter,
Facebook, Instagram. We posted this via all of our social media,
and you can share this with them in any way. You can via text or
WhatsApp. However you communicate with others, let them know. Share
the but I can share the blessings on this blessed day in Hamdan, you
can also send them the link celebrate mercy. Com, forward
slash Friday as we get ready for the next portion, which I'm very
excited for because Sheik Mariam is shekha Mariam is one of my
favorite speakers of all time. So Hamdan that. And I just want to
let you know that after the stream ends, we will go on clubhouse, and
we will have a Q and A with her. And I believe that asetta hosai
will be joining us as well for post Friday gems reflection. And
you can come on and ask your questions during that time
inshallah. So do check that out. And you can go to celebrate mercy
com forward slash room to join on clubhouse inshallah. And again.
Do share this link. This flyer is all up on all our social medias,
and the link again, accelerate mercy, com, forward slash Friday,
we will go ahead and jump into the reflection portion of the program.
And before I do that, I'm going to pull up Sheikha. My name is bio.
So instead of Miriam, Amir received her master's in education
from UCLA, and she holds a second bachelor's degree in Islamic
studies throughout as hard University, and she has studied in
Egypt, memorized the Quran and has researched a variety of religious
sciences, ranging from Quranic exegesis, Islamic jurisprudence,
prophetic narrations and commentary, women's rights within
Islamic law and more. For the past 15 years, she's featured in a
video series on faith, produced by the good by good cast.net called
the Miriam Amir show. She actively hosts women who have memorized
Quran around the world to recite and share their journeys through
her and through her into the revelation series and the hashtag
foremothers campaign. She is an extra instructor with Swiss and
hikma institutes and an author with virtual mosque and online she
has been interviewed for her work by major news outlets, including
BBC, NPR and CBS and Chief amidian focus in the field of spiritual
connections, identity, actualization, social justice and
Women's Studies have humbled. Have given her the opportunity to
lecture throughout the United States and the world, including in
Jerusalem, Mecca, Medina, Stockholm, London, Toronto, and
more. She also holds a second degree black belt in Taekwondo and
speak multiple languages, Mashallah. So we will go ahead and
bring SHA Mariam to the stage. I'm super excited
to it's such an honor to be here with you. Thank you for having me,
and then we're super excited to hear you in Chola, you'll have
around 15 to
20 minutes for the reflection session,
when I used to make ta I would actually think in my head, Allah's
not going to answer me. I would think to myself, that because I am
praying for something, that Allah knows that I deeply want, that he
would give me the opposite of what I'm asking for. He knows how badly
I want it, therefore he's going to test me by not giving it to me.
And it took a lot of reflection for me to get to a point where I
started to realize Allah says I am as my servant thinks I am. I was
looking at Allah's excuse me, Allah in a lens of negativity and
a lens of punishment, as if he was always angry or ought to get
mellah, who is Allah?
When we get to know who Allah actually is, it impacts the way
that we, one, feel a connection with him. Two, worship Him, and
three, the way that we see ourselves in the world,
and starting this journey of evaluating how I can actually have
a relationship with him based in a strong grounding of hope and love
and awe balanced with this fear and this concern, this running
away from my mistakes, not because I'm terrified of his punishment,
which I should be, but because I'm terrified of his displeasure,
Because I love him so much. How do we establish a relationship with
Allah where we have hope and we know that everything that he plans
in our lives is for a reason, that when we think a door is closed,
it's actually opening something better, that as Ibn Al tawla ibn
Al tawah Idah mentions, he doesn't close one door, except to open two
out of his wisdom, except to open two with his mercy. It's through
coming to Allah,
understanding who he is by His names and attributes,
and grounding that in gratitude, Allah begins
with this word, Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah the anzala, Allah,
Abdi Hill, Kitab, walam, yaja, Allahu, ay wajah. He starts by
praising and using the word of praise and thanks to himself,
Subhanahu wa Taala and Imam Asad, he's
commentator of Quran. He mentions that Allah begins with this word,
and he is showing us being grateful for the blessings that
we.
Have that we cannot even see the blessings that we can see, the
blessings that are hidden and are apparent, the blessings that are
in this life, that are physical, that are tangible, and the
blessings that are spiritual and the blessings of the hereafter.
Imam buchai mentions another commentator of Quran mentions that
Allah, then talks about the blessing of the Prophet,
sallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, the Prophet himself being sent as a
messenger, as a prophet, that is a blessing that he directly connects
with, praising and thanking him.
And then Ibn kithira mentions that, in mentioning the Kitab, the
Book of Allah, that in and of itself, is the ultimate form of
gifting all of us, because in that book is a very personal, private
connection with who Allah is in the blessings that we have and in
the pain that we have, in the trauma that we have, and in the
joy that we have in all of these different spaces, we go back to
saying Alhamdulillah, because you don't know what you might
experience right now, and you see as a test, you don't know if that
is What will put you on the journey to find your purpose for
life 10 years down the line. You don't know why doors close, but
perhaps the reason they close is to put you on a path that opens
the doors that are best for your dunya and your so how do we
develop this type of relationship with him that is based
in knowing who he is and building a like this. This foundation of
gratitude is three parts. First one, psychologically, we have an
issue as a community where we don't always talk about, and I
shouldn't have made a generalization some of us, some of
the community messages in our community, focus on how we need to
have more faith. We need to have more Amen, instead of focusing on
the tools comprehensively that will help us get to that place.
Psychologists today talk about gratitude. The Quran is filled
with messages on how gratitude impacts your life, how it impacts
you, cognitively, physically, how it impacts your perception, and in
the way that you perceive the world, the way that the world
responds to you. And so when we look at this concept in the Quran,
how does Allah share with us a moment in which a prophet, Musa,
alayhi, salam, he is given the glad tidings by Allah that you
have been chosen. You have been chosen. I have chosen you. So
listen, wana, took I have chosen you to listen to what has been
revealed. Allah reveals himself to Musa. And what is Musa response?
Musa response when he finds out that God Almighty is telling him
to go out and speak and make dawah to the pharaoh, to the to the
pharaoh, to firao and to liberate benoistra ill, his reaction is to
look back at his identity. What does he talk about? How people
will blame him for a mistake that he made, how people will judge him
for a speech disability,
his focus, his fear, is going back to Allah with markers that we use
to identify ourselves, the reasons why we often feel like we are not
worthy, or why people are judging us in all of that lens we use that
to identify who we are and in our perception of the world and how we
walk through the world. Musa alaihi salam is human, as
incredible as a prophet as he is. Alayhi salam being spoken directly
to by God, and He speaks about the way that people might judge him,
might perceive him, because in making Dawa, you want to present
your best self. And yet he also recognizes, he says, asks Allah to
have his brother join him in coming with this message, he still
recognizes Allah has chosen him for this message. He doesn't say,
choose my brother. Instead, he asks for his brother to strengthen
him. So now what is Allah's response when Musa alaihi salam is
making this dua, and he's saying keen USA, bihaka kefir, so that we
will remember you, Allah, and we will praise You, Allah. And then
what does Allah say at the end of this dua, he tells him we have
already answered you. And then Allah.
Talks about the different ways in which Allah has already
miraculously come created miracles in Moses life, over and over. We
did this and we did this, and we did this and we did this, all of
these times when Allah saved Moses, and all of these times when
we reflect in our own lives how Allah saves us from our own
selves.
When you look at your life with the attitude of gratitude,
you sit like Allah recounted for Musa alayhi salam,
all of the times in which Allah is there for you and has been there
for you. I'd like you to take a second, if you have food next to
you, pop it into your mouth for a second. If you don't just
fill your mouth for a second, this is so awkward to do on a live
lecture. What am I doing? Okay, now I'd like you to swallow.
You might have been chewing and swallowing or you just swallowed.
It was, please
forgive me, that was really weird. But did you tell your body to
react?
Did you ask your your your entire system, your digestive system to
process what you just put down at the same time. Did you remind your
heart to keep beating? Did you tell your eyes to continue to to
have the fluid secreted so that your eyes wouldn't dry up within
three seconds?
Did you tell your lungs to fill with air? Have you told the blood
in your body to circulate. There are so many things that are
happening consistently, 24/7,
that you have no control, that you don't think about COG cognisantly,
you're not consciously making the decision that these things are
happening in your body. Allah subhanahu wa is allowing them to
happen for you. And there are many of us who don't have those same
blessings, but have other blessings that maybe people don't
see as blessings, but are varied abilities. But the reality is that
there are so many things that we can count we can say, Thank you,
Allah, for blessing me with with something in particular. And then
when we realize that that one thing we thought of is nothing in
comparison to this and this and this, there's no way that we
cannot be overwhelmed with the blessing that He's given us in our
lives. So what we can do to create this attitude of gratitude is one
for 21 days sit with a journal or on your phone and write three
particular examples of something you should be grateful for for
that day. So for example, Alhamdulillah, I found a great
parking spot. Alhamdulillah, I enjoy taking a walk today outside.
Alhamdulillah, I have clean laundry, three specific blessings.
And when you have those three specific blessings, and you do
this for 21 days, researchers talk about how your nuance actually
start to shift. So the way you start to see the world actually
shifts. So that when you're coming to learning about the names of
Allah, span of wa taala, and for example, you might read the book
reflecting on the names of Allah by Jina and Yusuf. Jina and Yusuf
wrote a book beautifully talking about the names of Allah and how
they manifest in our lives in very tangible ways, tangible ways in
which you can connect with him. So when we have
this perspective, and then we're going and we're reading one name
of Allah, assalam, we're reading about who assalam is the source of
peace. We are able to look at who he is in the way that he plays
out, in the way his miracles play out in our lives. And we can call
out to him by that name constantly throughout that week, and then the
next week, we take aluadu, the source of love, and we look at all
the ways in which He bestows His love towards us, and we pray to
him by that name throughout that week. We build a gentle
relationship. We gently build a relationship with Allah based in
trust, because one of the reasons that we struggle sometimes with
our relationship with a lot is we feel like we don't trust God. This
is a question I receive all the time.
Someone feeling like someone else has done something to them, some
trauma they've experienced, and God didn't step in to directly
stop it. And so they're angry. They feel like they can't trust
who he is.
Instead, when we realize who he is, Allah Adil, the just when we
realize that He has given us free will and He is there for us,
because he says that he is with you wherever you are, in his
knowledge and his his hearing, he is with us always.
Then we can start to realize that the blame should be put on people
who are perpetrators. The blame needs to be put on the abuser.
That blame shouldn't be cast onto God. When we start reframing the
way we look at the world around us and in our relationships, and we
start having this particular perspective we can then approach
who Allah is in a way that acknowledges the pain that we have
while recognizing that sometimes we struggle in our relationship
with Him, and that's not because we don't have enough faith. You
have so much faith you care about how you're feeling towards him,
that's a sign of your faith, but grounded in
learning about who he is in the lens of gratitude and with the
help of a mental health professionals and B, or actually,
should say that C but the Sira and the Quran, because Allah says
Allah, abdihil, Kitab. So who is the abd This is the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Because we only have a few
minutes, I'm going to quickly share with you. There is a book
called Muhammad, man and prophet by Abu Salahi. It's a beautiful
seer of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam in English, the first
few chapters are a little bit dry, but when you read this book, you
feel like you are walking with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam. You feel like you are recognizing the sacrifices the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam went through four me and you to be
Muslim in America centuries later,
and that fills us with gratitude to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam. How can we love someone when we don't know them? How can
we appreciate the sacrifices that they made for our faith if we
don't know what those sacrifices emotionally entailed? Knowing who
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is allows us to be able to
really build that type of relationship with the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself. And when we get to see
the walking Quran, it helps us in knowing the Kitab which Allah
sent. And that Kitab, that book, the Quran Abu Hurayra, mentions
that when we recite it, the shaytan flees from the home. The
angels roam the Earth, looking for the people, reciting Quran so that
they can surround them. Angels bring in barakah and nur and
mercy, and they are form of protection when they say dua, when
the you make dua, and especially for someone else, and they say
Amin, that is your DUA being accepted, the Quran brings power
and healing into your life. So when you choose to read it
consistently in a translation that you understand, you will start to
see the shift in your own life. So approaching the
the Quran in the lens of the walking Prophet sallallahu, alayhi
wasam, the walking Quran, the Sira of the Prophet sallallahu, some
who he was recognizing his sacrifices directly with the
message that was revealed to the Companions who when Abu Bakr
namaradi Huma came to visit uma Amen that They said,
Why are you crying when she was weeping? Don't you know that what
is with Allah is better for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
salam, and she said, I'm not crying because I don't know what
is with Allah is better for the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
salam, I'm crying because the revelation has been cut off from
the heavens, that love for the revelation, that intensity for the
revelation that is a feeling that we want to experience, and we do
that through having a consistent relationship with it in a language
that we understand. I really recommend Dr Musa fabs translation
and inshallah. In doing so, in creating a lens of gratitude, we
can emulate the first verse of spiritual calf, which is grounded
in gratitude, to the point that even when we see the hardships in
our life, we say Alhamdulillah, because we know that nothing comes
without his wisdom, and that even when doors are closed out of his
wisdom, that it only means that other ones are Opening because of
His mercy. Subhanallah, behind the antonastal curriculum,
Mariam for the beautiful talk on especially focusing on the first
verse of Suratul KEF. And I want to also thank our dear sister,
sabria Shaw, who kicked off the hosting of today's program
Mashallah. And.
And we, we really benefited from Southern many of reflections on
Surat of KEF and she's about to start with part two of the
program. Let me pull up my slides here real quick. Inshallah, there
we go. So everyone you know share a few comments if you can.
Inshallah, in terms of, yeah, we can share some comments here on
the screen, showing some of the responses to the reflection by
Estella Mariam inshallah. And I will be reintroducing her as we
are going to start part two of the program inshallah. So take a look
at this. This flyer here. This flyer is it shows you the two
parts of today's program. So every Friday, and we've done maybe 60 or
70 of these Friday actually, more like 70 Friday gems so far since
the beginning of the covid 19 pandemic. And we pray that Allah
lifts this tribulation and pandemic from the earth,
Inshallah, very soon. But we've had weekly programs called Friday
gems with great teachers, great reciters. Week after week, we've
had roughly 70 of these programs so far, and today we have a two
part program. What we just heard were reflections on Surat of KEF,
and we're about to start with the portion or the the short lesson by
our guest teacher today, ustada Mariam, and you can see the title
of the talk she's about to give. And that talk is entitled From
recitations to conversations, deepening our daily prayer so that
is going to begin shortly. Inshallah, with ustada Mariam and
we want to encourage all of you to invite your friends to join us. If
you go to you see the link that's scrolling along the bottom of your
screen. That is a link you can use to invite your friends to join
today's program that is celebrate mercy.com/friday
that's celebrate mercy.com/friday
so you can also look at our social media. Excuse me. On our social
media, we have posted this flyer, this live now. Flyer. Where on if
you look at our Instagram, Facebook,
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, we've posted this flyer, and you
can share that inshallah with your friends or send it to your
whatsapp groups inshallah and encourage your friends to join.
Don't forget the the beautiful Hadith, and they're all beautiful
of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi salam, who said
that whoever encourages someone or guides someone to do a good
action, to perform a good deed, then it is as if you perform that
good deed. So if you encourage someone to, you know, forgive a
person who wronged them right, or to give charity, and your friend
does give charity, then it counts as if you also gave that charity.
Inshallah, so if you encourage someone to tune in and watch
today's program, benefit from today's program, then Inshallah,
you will, you will gain those Barak barakats and blessings as
well. Inshallah. So the link again is celebrate mercy.com/friday
I also want to welcome those of you tuning in on clubhouse. We
will actually be joined by ustada Mariam on clubhouse. After the Q
and A session, we're going to have a bit of an extended Q and A
session, and we also have ustada hosai mujeddedi, who will be
joining us on clubhouse, hosting and moderating that session with
ustada Mario, so we're in for a treat on clubhouse right after the
program concludes Inshallah, and we'll tell you a little bit more
about that later. But for those tuning in on clubhouse, stay tuned
throughout the program, because you'll get to have an interactive
portion with ustada money, and you can come on your microphone ask
questions or make comments about the talks that she gives today on
Friday. Gems, Inshallah,
mashallah, I see USADA hosai. Maybe we can share her comments.
Here. We have USADA hosai here on on YouTube, commenting on YouTube,
Mashallah. I don't think I've ever seen her. You know, posting
mashallah, I can see her. She said, masha Allah, amazing
reflection. I'm looking at my other screen here. Amazing
reflection from our beloved Ustad, Maria May Allah, subhana Tala,
continue to bless her and increase her and mean that is from USADA
hosai, who is viewing today's program. Most likely she's viewing
the program with her two beautiful sons, mashallah, her kids tune in.
And almost every single week to this program, Mashallah. And so a
shout out to Yasin and Ismail, who are probably tuning in as well.
Masha, Allah, may Allah, bless their entire family. Elsa, the
whole size family, and those of you tuning in on speaking of
YouTube, if you're watching on YouTube right now, please give
this give this video a thumbs up, because the more people who click
on that Like button on YouTube, the more people will be
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then if we get a lot of people to click on the like button, more
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Inshallah, not only are you sharing it, you're not only
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you're also subscribed to us on YouTube as well. Subscribe to our
channel and click on the bell so that you're notified when we post
new videos or programs. Inshallah, later in the program, we're going
to have a Q and A session with usta Mariam, so right after she
gives this 20 minute talk, then we're going to open it up to
questions, and you can start sharing your questions. Now, post
your questions in the comments Inshallah, or if you want your
question to remain anonymous, you can email your question to
[email protected]
that's [email protected]
so start to think of questions you might have for ustada Mariam as
she's giving her talk. Maybe it was about something she just
mentioned when she was reflecting on surat al Qaf. Post, post your
questions in the comments as you're watching maybe on Facebook
or YouTube and or email us your question inshallah. So I want to
remind you guys of that. I also want to remind you all that we are
continuing with our campaign to raise funds for this endowment
fund and this endowment fund, this WAF will, Inshallah, enable us to
print and distribute every single year, Shama el books in prisons in
United States, prisons where Muslims are in prison. Inshallah.
So imagine you're sharing this beautiful book. I have a copy of
the book here. Actually, let me show you my own personal copy.
It's a book that we teach, you know, multiple times a year and
celebrate Mercy's programs. The Shamal it is a book of 400
narrations, 400 stories and hadiths and traditions, 400
descriptions of the beauty of the Prophet Muhammad's character and
the Prophet Muhammad's appearance and the Prophet Muhammad's
lifestyle inshallah. So this book, which, for 1000 years has helped
Muslims to fall in love with the Prophet Muhammad, Salah Salam.
You. You, through this fund, you can, Inshallah, help 1000s of
Muslims in prison. Many of them became Muslim in prison, or people
who are on the verge of becoming Muslim, you can help them fall in
love with the Prophet Muhammad. Saw this campaign. We launched it
right before aid on the day of Arafat. We this campaign to add
another $100,000 to the endowment fund. It's now raised about two
thirds of the goal. So we're going to keep pushing it until we hit
the goal of $100,000
I want you guys to know that this is an endowment fund. So remember
that if you donate $100
right, that money will be invested, and the return on your
investment every single year, the return on your investment will
help to print these books. So you can kind of think that if I donate
$100 or $200
every single year, Your donation will will bear fruit. It will
result in a book being printed and distributed to a prisoner in the
United States. So imagine it as if, if you donate $100 or $200
you're resulting in at least one book being printed every single
year for decades and decades to come. That is the beauty of
endowments. It's, it's, it's a beautiful thing. You're not just
print. You're not donating to print one time. You're donating to
have these books printed every single year inshallah. So learn
more and Donate at celebratemercy.com/prisons
that celebrate mercy.com/prisons
if you want to give a general donation to celebrate mercy, to
help us fund these programs to help support.
Are these weekly programs some of our daily programs that we do. For
example, in Ramadan, we had five or six programs every single day
in Ramadan. There are other times of the year when we have programs
on a daily basis. For example, coming up in Rabia, Alwa in
October, we're going to have some daily programs inshallah for the
the blessed month of Robbie. All well, if you want to support
celebrate mercy, we want your DUA. We also want your donations as
well, so you can donate at celebrate mercy.com/donate.
That's celebrate mercy.com/donate.
Uh, Inshallah, so right now I'm going to go ahead and reintroduce
Mariam Amir Inshallah, who will be giving a short talk, a short
lesson for about 20 minutes. And then we're going to have some
questions and answer, you know, quite a Q and A session with her,
inshallah for another 20 minutes. And then those of you on
clubhouse, you can jump on onto clubhouse and into our into our
room on clubhouse, where ustada hosannadi will be hosting an
extended discussion with ustada Mariam on there Inshallah, where
you can come on the microphone, ask your questions, talk about,
you know, what you thought of today's Friday gems programs, or
maybe even past Friday gems programs, we'd love to hear from
you in that clubhouse session. Inshallah, let me pull up my
browser here so I can read the bio for ustada Mariam, who will be
joining us now. Ustada Mariam, Amir received her master's in
education from UCLA. She holds a second bachelor's degree in
Islamic Studies from Al Azhar University. She studied in Egypt,
memorized the Quran, researched a variety of religious sciences
Masha Allah for the past 15 years. She's also featured in a video
series on faith produced by goodcast.net called the Meriam
Amir show, and she actively hosts women who have memorized the Quran
from around the world to recite and share their journeys through
her into the revelation series and the four mothers hashtag for
mothers Campaign. She's an instructor with Swiss Swiss and
hekma institutes, and an author with virtual mosque and Al Juma
online, she's been featured in multiple media outlets like BBC,
NPR and CBS, and she focuses on spiritual connections, identity
actualization, social justice and Women's Studies. Those focus areas
have allowed her the opportunity to lecture worldwide in multiple
cities, and she also holds a second degree black belt in
Taekwondo and speaks multiple languages, Mashallah. That's an
amazing resume, an amazing background. We're very, very
honored to have mastada Mariam with us, and she's now going to
begin part two of this program, and the title, again, of the of
that talk is from recitations to conversations deepening our daily
prayer. Asmaa, the stage is now yours. Meanham, Kitty unto even
what a confit was. Allah, to us. Alle, that how do you build a
relationship?
Do you speak very, very quickly at someone with words that you don't
even know the meaning of? Do you build a relationship by someone
talking to you and you not listening and you just walking
away? Do you build a relationship by seeing them as a burden and
anytime that you're going to spend time with them, you feel like
frustrated that you have to spend that time with them. Many times,
when we talk about salah, we talk about it as an action item. We
need to get off our list, something we need to finish,
something we need to do, instead of looking at it like a
relationship, we need to build many times when you don't feel
connected to your prayer, when you feel like you've been praying for
years but you haven't felt any sort of emotional connection to
it, when you feel like your faith just doesn't feel very strong
because of the way that you feel about your Salah. Oftentimes, the
messaging that we hear back is your faith itself is not strong
enough. If your faith was stronger, your Salah would be
better. If your faith was stronger, you would have a more
intimate connection with prayer. But the reality is that the fact
that you're praying is a sign of the strength of your faith, and
that Allah actually told us that the way that we draw close to Him
is through the obligatory deeds and then the voluntary the deeds
not by sitting for hours at a time trying to force us, excuse me,
force ourselves to cry. So how do we actually build a relationship
with Salah where it's not a burden, where it's not something
we're trying to get over, where it's not because your faith is not
strong enough, and that's why you're not feeling.
It. It's by looking at Salah like a relationship, because salah is a
connection with Allah. It is a conversation with Allah, subhanho
wa taala. So when we look at Salah as a relationship, then we can try
to see, alright, if I'm in a relationship, whether it's with a
spouse or a child or a parent or a friend, and I'm struggling with a
part of that relationship, am I going to say, are you going to say
to a friend that approaches you about their child? My child
doesn't like spending time with me. My child makes me feel like
I'm unworthy in their in their eyes, my child makes me feel
uncomfortable. Does that mean that, as a parent, you don't love
your child? No, is the answer. You need to love your child harder.
No, the answer is, how are we going to build a connection with
that child? Or if you talk about, for example, a friend, you had a
really great relationship with a friend at one point, and then you
kind of disconnected. You no longer feel that connection with
that friend. Are you going to give advice to someone trying to figure
out how to rebuild that connection? You just need to love
that person harder. You just need to have more faith in that person.
Or are you going to say, maybe you can find different ways to
connect. Maybe you can take steps to rebuild and strengthen your
relationships, tangible steps. When we look at Salah as a
tangible relationship, we can actually look at tangible steps we
can take to rebuild and strengthen and deepen our conversation with
our Lord when we come to Salah. So Gary Chapman, for example, he's
renowned as a relationship author who wrote about the five love
languages, because we only have less than 20 minutes remaining.
Inshallah, we're only going to take three of the love languages
today, but we're going to look at what you do in a relationship.
Take love languages, whatever type of relationship that is, and try
to build on that relationship. Let's do that in Salah, this is a
relationship we want to build. So three of the love languages that
we're going to take today, Inshallah, one of them is words of
affirmation. The second one is physical touch, and the third one
is quality time, words of affirmation. That's saying
something like, I appreciate what you're doing. I'm grateful for all
the work that you've done. Words that affirm your gratitude, words
that affirm your love. Let's look at salah.
When we come to prayer, it is not a one sided conversation.
It is not me talking to Allah and him not listening or him not
responding. It is me talking to Allah, him acknowledging me, him
responding to me directly when I come into prayer. And I begin, and
I say, Bismillahi, Rahmani, Rahim. And then I start by saying, surat
al Fatiha, Alhamdulillah. You mean? You start with that you are
praising and thanking Allah, the Lord of all the world. And he
responds, and he says, My servant has praised me.
A Rahmanir Rahim, a rock him, My servant has exalted me, manikin,
my servant has glorified me and submitted to me.
I can Abu dhain that This is between me and my servant, and I
shall give my servant what my servant asks for. Until the end of
the Surah, Allah continues to make that statement that I will, I
should that he shall give, he shall continue to give what the
servant asks for. Words of affirmation. You are affirming to
Allah that He is the Most Merciful, that he is the the ruler
on the Day of Judgment, that he is the one who you're asking for help
from, from guidance, from that you only worship Him.
And he is affirming back to you, that he is hearing you, that he's
heard the words of your affirmation, and he tells you how
he will respond to you.
This is a relationship all just in Surah Al Fatiha, a relationship
that you're having with Allah.
And then when we look at another aspect of building a relationship,
it's physical touch. Physical Touch is so important to some
people, and in Salah, we actually have all five of the love
languages in the prayer itself, we're only going to cover right
now physical touch, which is that salah is a very physical movement.
We are.
Physically putting our heads on the floor in complete submission
to Allah. And when we do that, I went to an acupuncturist who was a
convert, and we were having a conversation that she was putting
in the needles, and she put one of the needles in right here,
right where we put our forehead down to mix a lot. She put the
needle there, and as we are talking, and she puts the needle
in, I immediately was unable to form a sentence.
I was like animatedly talking, and I just relaxed. My entire body
suddenly felt grounded. And I asked her what happened? And she
said, Oh, that point, that pressure point, is known in
traditional medicine to ground your body. It's known to give you
this Sakina, this tranquility. It causes your body to pause,
and it helps you focus on your inner self.
We are making sajda
Allah spanoa, our Creator has legislated for us to take time to
physically connect with him in ways that express our love for
Him, and in doing so, he gives us a physical return our own bodies
become grounded physically when we Make Salah. So when we're looking
at I want to improve my relationship with prayer. I want
to be able to have that connection in my in my prayer. And I'm not
sure how to build that. Recognize that the physical action itself is
a is a building block. We just need to realize what the
importance of it is. When you throw your hands back and you
begin your prayer, throwing everything back behind you,
trusting that Allah will give you, grant you, guide you in the
worldly life that you have, have, have, have, have, have said is
nothing in comparison to his worship. That statement is a
physical statement in all that comes in that connection with him.
When we look at the different poses of yoga, there are Muslim
scholars who talk about how the particular movement of your body
is connected to a particular part of your brain, and that is all
connected in Salah. So when we say that salah is a physical form of
love to Allah, what we're also recognizing is that the return of
that physical love in Salah is an immediate and direct benefit to
our own bodies, which is a direct and immediate connection and form
of grounding and tranquility for our own minds. And then when we go
to the third part, the third concept we're going to cover when
we talk about spending quality time together. Quality Time is a
form of deep connection and relationships.
I want to ask you to imagine that you were blessed and you were
honored to go to Michelle, Aksa, Allahumma, and mean, take us all
so many times. Ya raminista, one surrender, Nafi, Philistine,
yaropy, imagine you are in mesh of Aksa, and imagine it's Ramadan,
and you are in the masjid,
and someone meets you in that Masjid from a different country,
and you don't speak the same language, but you're both praying
in the same place. Every night, you're praying the beautiful
recitation of the Imam and Mishra.
Every day, you sit after fajr and you make the kid and you watch how
all the birds praise Allah as they soar through the skies. And you
see how there is this whole entire history of angels and prophets
walking on this earth, and you're sitting next to someone who you
meet in the same prayer spot every time, because you both love that
spot, you don't understand each other. You have a very deep
emotional connection because of the worship you're so intensely
doing together.
And over time, you recognize one or two words of that person's
language, and they recognize one or two words of yours, and then
you both go back to your countries, you both go home. And
when you're home, you still stay connected, but now you're using
Google Translate because it's really hard to use all of your
physical emotions when you're just messaging someone, and you're
using different apps to help understand each other, and you're
picking up a few more words.
Words, and then you stop being connected. For some time, you lose
connection. But Allah, Panama Tara has honored you with going to
Medina in the following year in Ramadan. And may Allah answer this
for every single one of us and everyone that we love, all the
home Emmy, you go into masjid and nabowi, and as you are walking in
the masjid, you are looking around and you're thinking, y'all Allah,
this is where the angels reveal the Quran. This is where the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam stood. This is where the
Companions wept. This, this, this. And in this emotional moment, who
do you suddenly see? You suddenly see that same friend who you lost
contact with and yet is standing right there in mashita Namoi. You
run to that person. You hold that person. You can't believe you're
both in Medina. You both weep. You both laugh. The rest of that
Medina trip, you are trying your best to communicate. Maybe you
have a few thoughts together. You are spending time with that
person. You are spending quality time with that person, and you're
getting to know that person on an emotional level.
And then you go back, you lose connection. But the next year,
Allah has blessed you with being able to go for Hajj. And who are
you in Hajj with? Now this might seem like an impossible story,
but when you meet someone and have a spiritually emotional connection
with that person, whether or not you understand their language, you
want to start going back to where that relationship left off when
you realize that that friend is Salah, that you're praying and
mashed and nebowi, and you feel that emotional connection to Salah
when you're praying in maksah, and you feel that emotional connection
to Salah when you are in hajj. And you feel that emotional connection
to Salah, and then you come back home and you don't feel that
connection anymore. What happened? Why did your relationship shift?
It's not because you still don't care about that person. It's not
because you don't care about salah. Is because you're back into
life. You have your family, you have your responsibilities, you
have work, you have all the stuff going on, and that doesn't
necessarily nurture constant emotional highs of spirituality,
which is nurtured many times when you go to a place of spirituality
and you're surrounded by only that. So realizing that your
prayer would probably be different if you were in a holy space at all
times, is really important, because it doesn't mean you
necessarily are the problem. It means the life that you're living
is impacting your ability to focus. When you have children on
your back screaming your name while you're trying to pray, it's
very hard to remember what Rachael you're on when you have deadlines
at work and you're rushing to get through Salah as quickly as you
can before you step back into the meeting that you very
intentionally had to leave. It's very hard to feel an emotional
connection and weep.
But this is living life. Allah tells us this ayah is so powerful
and it's so important for us to recite it over and over and over
again as a reminder to us well, in swallow. To us,
your your everything that say so let swala team, my prayer,
wanasuki, my sacrifice and my life and my death. Everything in
between is for Allah, which means quality time in prayer, is
wherever you are praying. When you are praying,
it's living life connected to prayer, whether you are in the
holiest of places that nurture that feeling, or whether you're
living life, and yet you're still trying to connect to Allah, that
that intentional connection, despite the fact that you have
everything else going on, that in and of itself, is a commitment to
the relationship of Salah. So when you are making that commitment to
Salah, and you are intentionally being focused on trying to spend
quality time in Salah. This is when you say, I need time for
myself to build an experiential relationship with prayer. What
does that look like? It looks like when you have been made to feel
like you are not a good enough believer, when you've walked into
a masjid space, and maybe because of any reason, whether it's a
disability, a gender, a race, whatever it is, a relationship
status, whatever it is that people might be judging you for, maybe
you have felt unwelcome in a masjid or maybe you felt super
welcome. Maybe you've heard messages that make you feel like
you.
That space isn't super your space, and so sometimes you then
interpret those messages to me, and that's how Allah Himself sees
you. But in reality, as we know, Allah is the Most Merciful. So we
need to rewire the way that we see Salah with
experiences that we choose to have. So what are experiences that
are chosen? They are finding a beach and praying on the beach.
They are finding a secluded area in the woods and praying when
you're hiking, it's going into a space in your room that you feel
safe and you feel comfortable. Maybe you turn the lights, dim the
lights, maybe you have a candle scent that you love. It's making a
space where Salah feels like a space of tranquility, where it
feels like home, where it feels like you're in love, just like you
would go out with someone that you love and spend time with them. Do
that with salah, go out for coffee, find a precious place to
pray. Do that with salah, and do it in a language that you
understand. Not say Salah in a language that you understand,
but memorize the words that you're going to say in prayer in Arabic,
if you don't understand Arabic in English. So when you're speaking
to Allah, you know what you're saying, because if I were here
speaking to you in many different languages, you might understand
some of my expressions, and you might understand some words that I
say, like if I was talking about ice cream, you might understand
the word ice cream if that's the word I use, but that doesn't
necessarily mean you have an emotional connection with
everything I'm sharing. But what if I were to share with you
something that deeply resonated with you, something that made you
feel seen and heard, something that you realize that no one else
would be able to understand except me, if you shared that with me,
that is solar and you're able to cultivate that when you create the
environment that isn't going to be based In the way that other people
have made you feel about your religion. That's not going to be
based in any sort of spiritual trauma you might have experienced
when someone who was maybe a religious teacher or maybe a
parent, or someone made Salah about pray, or you going to go to
* or pray, or you going to get beaten, or any of this horrible
messages. But instead one based in love and nurturing your soul. And
that is something that Salah itself does for us. It nurtures
our soul. So when we go to prayer and the way that we approach it is
one based in words of affirmation, is one based in physical touch, is
one based in quality time, is one based in knowing that the entire
experience of Salah was a gift, which is one of the other
languages, was a gift from Allah to the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi
wa sallam in his moment, in the hardest moment of his life. And
therefore it's a gift to our entire ummah. We can stop saying
what's wrong with me? I don't feel any connection to prayer. My faith
isn't good enough. Instead, I can say I am committed to this
relationship and I'm willing to invest in this relationship so
that I can know that Salah is not a burden. But instead, I, in my
life, feel like the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam
described it behind, yeah, be that it is a form of bringing me peace.
It's kind of a behind in the self here to get one into it in this
life and the next. It's not like,
just like Mala here. Thank you so much, Mariam Amir, for that
really, really beautiful, beautiful lesson, and she kept it
right on time, Mashallah. Not every teacher is skilled at
keeping things on time, but she did mashallah, and we are now
going to start a Q and A session with her Inshallah, and so if you
have a question about the lesson that she just gave, submit your
questions. Sometimes these Q A sessions are the best parts,
because you get to hear from the audience. You get to hear about
sometimes questions that you may have, that you that someone else
asks or that you ask, right? So the Q A can be great, and we're
going to have an extended discussion with her on clubhouse
as well. So again, how do you submit a question, post it in the
comments, or email your questions to info at celebrate mercy.com
Inshallah, and a reminder that after the Q and A session, there
will be a that the discussion on clubhouse, moderated by our very
own mashallah teacher, USADA hosai mojagdi, who you see there on the
left. She joined us every single night in Ramadan as a teacher, and
she will be moderating the discussion with us.
The Mariam on clubhouse right after we have the Q and A, we hope
that you've clicked on the like button if you're watching on
YouTube, and make sure you're subscribed to our channel. And if
and we don't have, by the way, we do not have a family sponsor for
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they help cover the costs of these weekly webinars. If you're
interested in becoming a sponsor of a future Friday gems program
Inshallah, send us an email. We can send you the details on how
that works, and just to keep it brief, when you're a sponsor, you
help us cover some of the costs, but we also show a specific duat
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well. So if you'd like to sponsor a Future Friday gems programs, or
maybe an entire month of Friday gems, send us an email. Inshallah,
this is a huge way to help celebrate mercy, sustain these
programs long term. Inshallah, so I have, I'm looking at the
questions here. Let me pull them up, the questions that have come
in so far. Mashallah,
so let me go ahead and pose this first question here. It's it is?
It says, JazakAllah, fair, thank you for a beautiful talk. The
first part of your talk reminded me of a conversation I had with a
friend about approaching our relationship with Allah from a
place of love, instead of primarily from fear. My friend,
who is more motivated by the fear of Allah, asked the question I've
been deliberating, if Allah is 70 times more loving than a mother's
unconditional love, then how can he put us in the hellfire? The
idea is a mother would never put her child in in fire. So How could
Allah? I know there's no comparison between humans, human
and divine love, and Allah's love has no bounds. However, I still
struggle to answer the question, and I think a lot of youth,
especially, I've heard this a lot, struggle with the question of the
concept of punishment or hellfire. So I think that would be really
helpful to address this point. In Shama.
I think all of us have different levels of this question, and I'm
going to share with you, when I was struggling with this question,
what really helped me. I was in a class in college, and the
professor was a forensic professor. I'm not going to go
into the details of what she shared, because it's truly
horrifying, but she was speaking about different ways in which
women were murdered, and when she was going through all of this very
detailed and graphic discussion on how
this occurred, these murders happened,
what I really remember thinking like, what really has stuck with
me from that moment of conviction was sometimes punishment in the
world is just not fair. It's not
justice when someone who does something so egregious is able to
get away with it,
or the punishment that they receive is dealt by a trial by a
jury that's biased, or they do something for a small amount of
time, excuse me, that isn't even to the level of the impact. Murder
is a very serious crime. Obviously, there are all sorts of
levels of how someone can harm someone else and how somebody can
bring injustice into their own lives. But for me, this goes back
to a few things. The first one is when we know who Allah is, then we
don't,
we don't fear that he's going to deal with people unjustly. So when
you know someone who is a very loving, a very caring, a very
helpful individual, and you wonder, you know, what if this
person is an atheist? What if this person doesn't know if they
believe in God,
that circumstance, you also know that Allah's names include the
just, include the wise, include the judge. He is all of these
things, and he knows that particular individual
circumstances and the reasons for which they made the decisions that
they made, and this is why we never say that person is going to
*, with the exception of individuals that we specifically
know are or instead, what we say is generalities. We say, generally
speaking, in these circumstances, this is a consequence that we know
from God. But.
Is that going to happen to that particular individual? Only Allah
knows, and we trust that he himself because of who he is, the
light, the Guardian, the source of love. We know that he knows the
circumstances that every individual went through and the
reason why they made those decisions, and what that's going
to look like for them in the hereafter. So knowing who Allah is
allows us to trust that he would never put someone in a place that
they don't deserve to be. Why would Allah create you just to
punish you? Why would Allah create people just to put them in *?
That's not who Allah That's not. That's not Allah is. But there
needs to be a system of accountability. So there are
people whose actions can never be sufficed. The amount of oppression
systemically that takes place from people in power, the amount of
oppression from people, from people who will never be held to
account for what they've done in their own home to other people, or
what they've done in ways that that make them untouchable. There
has to be a hereafter because of the level of the injustice, there
needs to be a place of justice. So while this is a very short answer
to a very long topic that could easily be covered in many
lectures. For me, what helps me go back to is realizing that when I
know who Allah is and I trust in Him, then I also trust that he
would never do something without purpose, and that he knows every
single individual circumstances, whether that is the person who
does nothing but they pray and they fast and they worship and
that's all that they do, or whether it's someone on the
complete opposite spectrum, on anyone in between, that he knows
exactly why we're doing the things that we're doing, the reasons why
we make decisions that we make. A lot of times, people judge people
for making risky decisions, specifically
and and in those circumstances, only Allah knows why they got to
that place. Subhanallah, we don't know. So we go back to hoping
that,
and we go back for ourselves, hoping in His mercy, unlike you
mentioned the questioner, some people are actually very motivated
by fear. Some people are only motivated by fear, and this is why
Allah balances when he talks about * and he talks about heaven, he
balances that idea because some of us need to be motivated by fear,
some of us need to be motivated by love and by hope. And the life of
the believer is being able to balance all three of those things
when we approach him,
just like Mariam for that answer. And I think that was, that was
great. There's also a great article, or this was addressed
also in a piece that I remember, I just remembered by yakin
Institute,
and it's called,
let me look here again, the
the infinitely merciful, and the question of hellfire. And so we're
going to share that, the link to that article also here in the
chat, on YouTube, on Facebook, for those of you who you know would
like to read up more on that question. Inshallah, that would be
helpful as well. So if you're watching the recording, go back to
the live chat comments and you can, you can find that Inshallah,
another question that came in was, and I think maybe a lot of parents
are asking a similar question, what advice do you have on
introducing children in a healthy way to the prayer and this person
specifically said three year olds. But I guess you could make it
broader than just that one year, other than modeling and reading
books. So what are you know? What are some tips and advice to to
have our children fall in love with prayer? Inshallah,
it's so beautiful that you want your children to fall in love with
prayer. And I would take it back to the concept of helping them
fall in love, in a relationship that you're trying to invest in.
How do you build your relationship with your child? Do you build it
with spending time together, with holding them with, you know,
reading books like you mentioned to them, that quality time that
children deeply appreciate, help them see those aspects of Salah.
So when it's time to pray, and someone makes the event in your
home, and you hug them and let them know we're going to pray
right now, would you like to join us in prayer without forcing them,
but like you said, modeling it for them. And so you let them have
their own special prayer rug that they can bring out. Ask them if
they want to choose which prayer rugs everyone else is going to
pray on. If you have choose, if you use pray rugs in your home,
maybe you have a special routine for Salah where you all get to sit
afterwards together and read a special book together make the
experience of Salah sweet and so that doesn't mean rewarding and
punishing if they pray or don't pray, like, oh, you pray.
Hey, you cat, you know, you get a sticker. I actually don't. I don't
do any type of reward and punishment in that way when it
comes to parenting in general, and that's because of the positive
discipline parenting approach, which I really recommend a book
called parenting, positive parenting in the Muslim home. It's
co authored by Neha choperi And when you know like a bitch. But
the reason that I'm mentioning this is because we want our
children to, Inshallah, grow to have an intrinsic love for Salah.
We want them to grow to intrinsically yearn for prayer. So
want to do it because it's the right thing to do. It's what
grounds them and what's helped them feel that connection like you
mentioned. So what we don't want to do is is center it around. You
will be rewarded for doing this. Because, if that is the of course,
with Allah, is a different type of reward, but we don't necessarily
tangibly see that. It's very hard to have a three year old
understand that you just got a bunch of rewards with ALLAH, so
letting them realize that this prayer is an experience that we
build as a family, that we enjoy doing together, because we have
sounds and scents and and taste and touch them all together,
connect and make this something fun, and also make this something
grounding, but it's something that we just do, like we brush our
teeth. It's something we do because it's good for our bodies
and it's good for our health and it's good for our soul, and then
also helping them realize that it's not about whether or not
you're going to get something at the end of it, but it's about the
journey for it, the journey through it. And we, obviously we
pray for them as hard as we can that they will love. Salah that
was from Tala will make him of those who are the establishes of
prayer, but the fact that you already are trying to think of how
you can even create that type of personal accountability with your
child is so beautiful. Letting them be in control of certain
things, for example, having a prayer clock that gives the event
that you can have them set having their own prayer rug, having
having ownership over the action, can sometimes give them a sense of
independence that helps them want to maintain that, that that
relationship with it as well. And then also just making the space a
beautiful, loving space to be in, helping them draw pictures that
are related to prayer and however they conceive that, and putting
them up and on the walls next to where you pray, having a scent
that they pick out, that maybe you know, in your home you have a
special scent of, like, I don't know,
chocolate ice cream, that like they get to light when they're
going to pray, because it's a special ritual you do with prayer.
Obviously, that's not an Islamic thing you need to do, by any
means, but just helping them see that prayer is a full experience,
and it's something that brings a lot of joy to you, and it's
something that can bring joy to your whole family inshallah. And
also, I am not a parenting expert, so Inshallah, a parenting expert
can help with that. The chocolate ice cream thing made me excited,
even me, you know, that's not a bad idea.
So a lot of people have been posting, you know, ashallah
comments. Just wanted to share a couple here, just thanking you for
the beautiful talk so far and how much it's benefiting them. Masha
Allah and the answers, how much the answers have been benefiting
them as well. Mashallah, you can see Aisha here, what a healthy and
free way to have a relationship with our Lord and our faith and
Gene beautiful twist on how to approach prayer. Thank you. So
these are comments coming in on mostly on YouTube, I think some
maybe on Facebook as well. At Alhamdulillah, there is a there is
a question that may not be directly related, but I think it
could be tied into prayer as well, and a common issue that many are
going through in our community, but I'm looking here my other
screen, where we have a list of questions. Maybe particular
sisters are going through this as well. I have a question for
today's Q and A this was an anonymous question. I'm not
married because I felt I was never ready and the right person never
came along. My family gives me a hard time about this. They say you
missed the boat, and now you'll never find anyone. My question
relates to the Hadith. What was meant for you will never miss you,
and what was not meant for you will never come your way. How do I
reconcile this? Is there hope for someone like me in terms of
marriage? I'm going to make a few assumptions based on your
question. The first is that you want to get married. I'm going to
make the assumption you want to get married in the way that I
respond. The second is that I'm going to assume that you are also
not like 19 or 20 or 23 I get this question from people who are like
23 I'm like you. What in the world? I'm going to assume that
maybe you are somewhere in your 30s, and that people are
unfortunately sharing this message with you, which is horrible. Why
would your family or friends say that to you? It's so unfortunate.
I'm also assuming, I don't know if you mentioned this, but I'm
assuming that you're a woman, and the reason I'm making that
assumption is because, unfortunately, especially.
For a woman, we have this hyper obsession with women and their
relationship status and whether or not they're married is one of the
markers that we use to identify their success or identify their
spiritual worth. Unfortunately, which is not something that we see
in our tradition, whether or not you are married is not a marker of
how pious you are, but because there's such an emphasis on that
for women, many times, in many cultural communities,
there is this intense feeling of
inferiority or insecurity. That's the word insecurity when someone
is not married. And it's really important for you to recognize a
few things. The first is
that Allah can make anything happen at any time, and if you
want to get married, having that hope and that intent to do add to
him and taking the means. I know people who want to get married,
but who are only willing to consider someone from a particular
race or a particular profession, or who live in a particular state.
These are, you know, these really narrow the the opportunities that
someone has. So when those are, you know, part of taking the means
is taking the means comprehensively that if someone
has had their eyes set on a particular something for 10 years,
and no one in that particular something has worked out. But
there have been potentials with something else potentially that to
consider that. So part of taking the means, part of is taking the
means. So doing those two things is something that you know, like
you mentioned in the Hadith,
yes, like what's meant for you won't, won't miss you, but at the
same time, we have to take the action necessary for that. Now
let's say you're doing all of that, and you're open to
everything, and you run like seven, you know, marriage apps and
all, nothing is working. Subhan, Allah, this is where we go back to
this idea that our worth by Allah, how he has determined it is not in
marriage. It is in our worship to Him and whatever that looks like
for that space of our life. So a woman who is married and who
chooses to be a housewife and chooses to be at stay at home mom,
those things are where she's going to find the bulk of her worship
with the intention, but someone else who is not married and who
doesn't know if that's going to happen in the foreseeable,
foreseeable future. For them,
just emphasizing the fact that they're not married is not helpful
mentally for you, what you can do, which is very difficult when those
are the messages that you're receiving is realize that your
worth with a law is in the action that you do with the time that you
have, with the intention. So I know women who have asked me this
question, and they've said they put off going on, going on for a
graduate degree that they've really been wanting to do for a
very long time because they were literally sitting at home waiting
for a proposal to come through, and it's been six years, for six
years, they are just waiting at home, which is fine if that's what
they want to do, but that's not what they want to do. They want to
continue their education, continue your education. Maybe that's where
you're going to meet your potential spouse, or maybe it's
not. But the point is, invest in yourself, in the way that you
find purpose for the sake of Allah and not listening to all of those
negative voices about your worth and about you know, a woman can
literally have like every single credential, and the only question
people want to know is, when are you going to get married? But
that's not necessarily in our hands, even if we take all the
means it might not be in our hands, and in that case, if that
is the situation, remember for yourself that your worth comes
from Allah and fill your life in ways that someone who is is isn't,
who is married and who has a responsibility of things that come
with marriage or children that maybe they won't be able to do
because of that. So how can you use your life in the way that is
so Inshallah, wonderful and amazing, and the opportunities
that you have that Allah has put in your life, that maybe someone
else who saw you wish that they had the opportunity to do? Because
really, it's not about what other people's lives are based on what
people tell us. It's what how we're going to live for the sake
of Allah. And finally, there's really no age that's you know that
you that you're too old. I'm sure all of us, or many of us, have
heard of women who get married for the first time or get remarried
later on in life, in their 50s and their 60s. I heard of couples in
their 70s. Oh SubhanAllah. Masha Allah, may Allah, bless your
mother, Jennifer, how beautiful. Masha Allah. And so look at that.
I mean, subhanAllah, you're
enjoy your relationship with Allah. Enjoy working for the sake
of Allah in whatever way that looks like for your life right
now, and make dua and seek the means and trust that Allah SWT
sees what you're going through and that He will bless you with the.
Christ, may Allah, bless you. It's such a struggle. I pray so much,
so much for especially for my single sisters. I know this,
there's a marriage crisis. It is so hard because, on top of the
fact that we have a marriage crisis, a, I feel like we created
part of the marriage crisis and B, we then make every individual
woman feel like she's problematic when it's literally an era issue.
Says Pamela, holding all of that burden on your shoulders is Allah,
may Allah bless you and facilitate the best for you. I mean, I mean,
thank you. Thank you. JazakAllah, here for that beautiful answer.
And you know, people were sharing some more comments sister codes,
who said it's 2021 live your life, travel, do charity, work, enjoy
life in a halal way. Do not let family and society dictate your
worth by whether or not you are someone's wife or mother. And you
know, just a reminder, you know, on the Day of Judgment, Allah is
not going to question you like, Were you married? Did you get
like? That's not one of those questions that you you know that
you're judged upon your heart and your good deeds and belief. So
alhamdulillah. Jasak Mala here for that.
Another, another question that came in, and we may have to end
with this one, is actually I'll combine two questions here. One is
someone was saying,
I when I carry out forms of worship like salah or reading
Quran or dhikr, I fall asleep often, but with other tasks, I'm
able to stay awake. So how would you recommend remedying that? And
I'll add on to that a question about for those who don't know
Arabic, or may hear the Quran, not understand what they're reciting
in the prayer, and they kind of and that may be a source of
feeling disconnected. What would you recommend for that type of
person? Inshallah, so let's
start with the second one, because it's going to answer part of the
first one. I'm not, I'm not a native Arabic speaker. I learned
Arabic later on, and so before, when I was praying, I really had
no clue what I was saying. What I would try to do is just focus on
the things I was grateful for. Like, I remember standing behind,
you know, the Imam said we have which is hours long, and I would
just be like, Alhamdulillah for my shoes. Alhamdulillah for the food
I eat today. Alhamdulillah. And I'm not saying that you should do
that in prayer, because your mind will wander everywhere, but I was
a teenager, I had no idea how to spend hours standing when I don't
understand a single thing that's being said. So learning what
you're saying is really helpful. And that doesn't mean you need to
speak Arabic. You don't actually, it took me seven years of just
reading the translation of six years of just reading the
translation of the Quran every single day and listening to it
whenever I could. That helped me be able to actually approach Salah
in a way where I didn't know the meaning of every word, but I knew
the general messages. Taraweya is a whole different, you know,
chapter because that's hours long. But the prayers that you pray, you
probably, you know, recite social facts. Of course, you recite
social Fatiha every time so you can understand the translation of
that. Maybe you recite socials every time you know the
translation of that. So learn the translations of these Surahs that
you say regularly and the words that you say regularly, that's the
first part, and read a translation of the Quran when you're reading
the when you're when you're reading the Quran as well. The
second part is that sometimes, because of Masha Allah, so many
different things, it could be the tranquility that our bodies are
put to when we're reading a Quran and when we're praying. It could
be we're bored because we don't really understand what Salah
really like means to us in our life, or Quran it really is for
us, it could be experiential that in the past, maybe in the past,
maybe your parent, you know, chose Quran as something that would help
you fall asleep, which is so beautiful. And Quran teachers
actually talk about playing it while you're sleeping, so that
your subconscious could memorize it more easily. But at the same
time, it might like, unconsciously relax your whole body. And so
there are so many reasons why this could happen. What I would
recommend is, if you know this is going to happen and you're about
to pray, make Wu do for prayer so that you wake up, even if you
already have make will do again, so that you just the physical
washing will wake up parts of your body. Do five jumping jacks before
you pray, get your blood flowing and let your mind be more awake,
so that when you go into prayer, you go in with action. You're
going in with purpose. Allahu Akbar, say your tech beers out
loud. Allahu Akbar, if you are praying, especially if you're a
woman, many women don't know when you pray Fajr or megaisha when
you're praying at home, recite them out loud. You should be
reciting out loud as a Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wa, someone
used to do that changes your experience. Praying out loud is a
game changer. It will change your experience reading the Quran. When
you're about to read the Quran, maybe if you know you're going to
fall asleep, if you're if you're in your bed, or if you're in a
dimly lit room, be in.
Intentional about how you're going to read it. Choose to go outside
somewhere and sit somewhere where you can just spend five minutes
reading outdoors. Or choose that you're going to read with coffee.
Make a coffee date with the Quran. Go to a cafe, or do it in your
home. Get some coffee and sit with the Quran and drink your coffee
and relish that relationship. Remember, it's a relationship if
you're bored every single time you're in someone's presence,
probably not going to want to spend very much time with that
person. So how can you spice up the way that you approach your
relationship to these acts of worship in a way that you already
know works for you? What do you do with your friends or what do you
do with your loved ones that makes you feel connected? What is it?
Find out what those things are for you, and then figure out ways that
you can creatively bring them in to your acts of worship, so that
you see them as a relationship you're investing in and building.
They're not just an action you're trying to get over with which
tires you or makes you fall asleep. It's just something that
you like you'd meet someone and you would never fall asleep
talking to someone unless you legitimately had no sleep and were
super tired, but if you were yawning like six times in the span
of a conversation, it would be considered pretty rude. So like,
what would you do to not do that in a conversation? Take those
actions and know that it's not a sign of the lack of your faith.
It's just taking creative tools to be able to approach it and show in
a way that's more invested in your relationship.
Yeah, jozaki, malasada, Mariam, and it's interesting to know you
mentioned coffee, because if you actually research coffee and where
it began, there's a debate on whether it was Yemen or Africa.
There's two debates on that right like but it was Muslims who began,
you know, grinding coffee, and kind of invented the drink of
coffee. And it was for the purpose of being able to stay up at night
and pray, you know, to head to prayers and Qiyam, kind of the
original intention of coffee. So it's great that you mentioned that
Mashallah.
So does that come off here? We're really, really, I mean, so honored
that we were able to have the seven madam with us. My honor, my
honor. Thank you all so much. Alhamdulillah. We look forward to,
I know we were discussing, you know, maybe later in the year
dates, when you could come back for another Friday gems program.
And I think, you know, we've gotten so many comments. A lot of
people go back and they watch the recordings of these programs as
well. So we want to encourage everyone to stay connected with
ustada Mariam on social media. We have the slide here, I believe.
Let me show here,
yeah, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. She's also on clubhouse.
She's about to join us on clubhouse Mashallah. So stay
connected with her, with the classes that she teaches, and, you
know, the recitations of the Quran that she has and that she hosts as
well through her programs. Stay connected with her Inshallah, and
also, she's about to join us on clubhouse here in a couple of
minutes. If you're on your phone, then all you need to do is go on
your browser and visit celebrate mercy.com/room
that's celebrate mercy.com/room
and it will take you to the exact room on clubhouse where we will be
streaming this post webinar discussion with a hosai hosting
Mariam inshallah for this discussion. So if you had a
question that wasn't asked because we got more questions than we were
able to have time for, you can ask it there. If you have a comment,
you can make your comment there. Inshallah, we would love to hear
from you. It's a little bit more interactive, because we get to
hear your voice on clubhouse. So we're about to start that
clubhouse discussion Shortly. Just a reminder, we hope you've liked
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Fridays. Inshallah, let us know, because it really does help us
cover the costs of these weekly programs. Inshallah and we talked
about Arabic and maybe potentially not understanding the words of the
Quran, there is a really great opportunity that we've mentioned
in the past. We want to mention it one more time. Here is that in
October, there is an 18 month online Quranic Arabic class that
is starting through our friends at fawaka Institute. It's probably
the best way, and I've personally taken classes with them, the best
way to learn Arabic online with live instructors. You get a weekly
class, there's homework, there's quizzes. It's a really amazing
curriculum. Actually, Imam Nihal Khan, who recited Suratul KEF
earlier, and he taught with us in Ramadan. He is a teacher at
fawakeke Institute. So this is a an opportunity to learn Quranic
Arabic to save more than $1,000
as you can see.
Here for the 18 month course, which begins in a couple of months
in October. So I would highly recommend this Inshallah, so that
when you hear the Quran, when you're praying, when you read the
Quran, you can grasp more of the Quran. And here you're going to be
learning two levels of Arabic. In fact, people have said that when
they go through just level one by itself of the fawakit curriculum,
they understand 10 to 15%
of what they are hearing or reading when they read the Quran,
right? Just that. That's just level one. This course covers two
levels, right? So I highly, highly recommend this class. I know the
teachers. I know the founder. It's an amazing opportunity. They send
you a box of books and workbooks in the mail. It's a very
professional, well, you know, well organized class with amazing
teachers. Highly recommend it. Inshallah, and I'm saying this as
someone who has personally taken classes with them. I know the
quality of the curriculum and the teachers, mashallah, it is
amazing. So that said, one last thing is that if you would like to
support celebrate mercy, please consider today making a donation,
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Celebrate mercy team. Inshallah, again, special thanks to Imam
Nihal Khan and ustada Mariam Amir for the beautiful, beautiful
program today, we look forward to seeing you inshallah for Future
Friday gems. Inshallah, we'll be doing them, and we're going to be
adding more programs soon, especially as the month of Rabbi
alwal is approaching, we're going to be announcing some more
programs coming up soon. We'll see you here on clubhouse inshallah.
JazakAllah here, take care everyone, and As salamu AK.