Maryam Amir – Allah loves you
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of praying and not being strict in religion, as it impacts their behavior and personal development. They also touch on the importance of forgiveness and praying for oneself. The conversation touches on the insha ha ha, which is a warrior and a warrior, and the importance of self obsession and praying for oneself. The speakers also discuss the importance of forgiveness for all believers and the importance of self obsession in building on one's life.
AI: Summary ©
Them, the way that I was taught about Allah was one that was
really vengeful in the sense of, like, if you make a mistake, he's
waiting to punish you, and that he was always ready to be angry at
you, at me. And so one time when I was in college, I remember this
moment, I was taking some classes from individuals in the masjid who
hadn't actually studied Islam seriously. They had come recently
from another country, but to me, they were very strict. And at the
time, strict to me meant that they were religious. So I started
asking them if I could, like, study with them. And it's tricky
when you study with someone who hasn't studied Islam at all. But
they are strict in their practice, because that doesn't necessarily
mean that they are sharing what might be appropriate for your
content. So one of the things that they taught me is that I was not
allowed to ever speak to men, ever unless it was an absolute, dire
necessity, which that means on a college campus, when people are
saying hello respectfully, or when I'd enter the library, when
there's security guards and I'm just passing by and they say, Good
day, and I'm like,
I can't respond, because good day. What are you going to say? That's
not acceptable, because that would be an unnecessary interaction.
Doesn't make sense. So one time, I was standing at the library
computer, I wanted to search something. I had literally just
walked up to it, and as I walked up to it, this guy from my
communications class who I had, like, never talked to, but I knew
he was in the class. I He was like, I would see him. So he just
walks up at the same time as I walk up to my computer. Then he's
like, I didn't know that you were into Sesame Street. And I look,
and the computer search already had that written in it, so someone
had, like, searched that before I walked up and I saw it when he
mentioned it, and I literally responded by saying something like
and
then he said, bye, I'll see you later.
That moment for me, I felt like I was the biggest sinner.
I went to the bathroom to make wudu because I had learned that if
you make Wu do and pray to Allah, will forgive you, which is true.
So I stopped studying, stopped trying to research for my paper. I
missed the next two classes. I went to a particular part of the
library that I used to pray in. I remade my wudu, and I started
praying two Rakas after two, rakat after two, rakat after two, rakat
after two, Rakas begging Allah to forgive me for doing a chuckle in
response to a guy who's not Muslim and has no idea about anything
about related to Islam,
because I had been taught that that was the most appropriate way
of carrying myself as a Muslim woman, and also because I had been
taught that Allah gets so upset, and I didn't want you to be upset
with me. When I shared that story with someone else, the response
was, Masha Allah.
Masha Allah, you're so pious.
You're so pious,
and maybe you've met someone and you think that they're pious too.
And the reason that you think that they're pious is because, in your
cleanse, maybe they're strict, or maybe they're the strictest person
that you know. When it comes to religion, there is a place in in
our in our faith for being intense with yourself. There's a place in
our faith with being very
particular in the way that you carry yourself, in the way that
you interact, but when that shifts to giving messages to the point
that you cannot interact with someone without needing to repent
for hours on end because you're afraid that Allah is going to be
so angry with you, then that speaks to not knowing who Allah
is.
When you know who Allah is, you don't interact with him like a
transaction. You make a mistake. You're waiting for him to beat
you. May Allah protect us all when you're looking at who Allah is,
when you see Allah that He creates for you, when you're not looking
at the What's with the who your entire life changes arch of your
own body to just bite chocolate. Do you think we would do anything
other than take a bite of life? We would probably literally not be
able to do anything, because imagine then having to tell your
stomach to digest it, and having to have those pieces of chocolate
go through different parts of your body, and then taking it out of
your body, there your whole our whole lives would be chewing. But
Allah is so merciful and so loving that he automates so much of our
body for us, so that we have the space to be grateful. And when you
have an attitude of gratitude, it impacts the way that you see who
Allah is in your life, because you go from looking at everything in a
deficit to recognizing that whatever happens happens for a
reason and out of His mercy.
One time I was driving and I hit, I hit a curb, honestly, and my my
my tire just like, got flat, and I couldn't drive anymore. So someone
came and they helped me put on a spare and they were like, you have
to go take care of it right away. The only tire place that I could
go to was in a city I had never been in, because I was already in
a city I had never been in. So I went to a tire place, and they're
like, Okay, it's going to take, like, four hours to get fixed.
Okay, four hours. I wonder if there's a masjid nearby. I look up
and see, look up if there's a masjid nearby, there's a masjid
five minutes walking distance from this tire place. So I walk to this
Masjid five minutes away. And of course, this is, like, such a big
deal for my whole day, like, my whole day, like, my whole day
shot, I was trying to get to work. I had to stop everything, all in,
like, I activate everything for me, was inconvenience. But then I
walk into this masjid, and there's a brother in the, like, the lobby,
and he's reading. He's an older uncle, and he suddenly looks up
and he sees me, and he's like, are you Miriam Amir. And I'm like,
Yes. He's like, I have been making dua to meet you, and I had no idea
how I would ever meet you. I heard you speak at a conference, and I
want to be able to connect you with my daughters. And I didn't
know how. I don't know anyone who knows you. I've been asking
around, how are you right here? They're like, Allahu Akbar. My
whole day changed because this man is close to Allah, and Allah
dragged me here so that I could meet him. And this story that I
went about to tell you is actually not an authentic story, but you
might have heard it before. It's a famous inauthentic story. It's
Imam, Imam Ahmed. So inauthentic it's not, it's just, we're just
sharing it out of inspiration, not because it's real. There's a story
about Imam Ahmed and the baker. Imam Ahmed goes and he is looking
for a place to sleep overnight. When he's traveling, nowhere is
available. He goes into the masjid, and the masjid doesn't
know it's Imam Ahmed, and so they say no one can sleep here
overnight. The guard kicks him out. But across the street from
the messenger was a baker. And so the baker sees that Imam Ahmed is
outside. Well, he doesn't know what Imam Ahmed he just sees a man
who needs a place to stay. So he's like, I see you don't have
anywhere to stay. Why don't you stay over at my place tonight?
It's a very trusting community, Masha, ALLAH. So he comes over and
he sees that the baker constantly is making a thought. He's
constantly Allah, always remembering Allah. And so Imam
Ahmed asked the man like, have you seen any benefit from you
constantly making istifi and constantly remembering Allah? And
the man says, yes, every single one of my drives have been
answered, every single one except for one. And Imam Ahmed says, What
is the one? And then the Baker says to me, Imam Ahmed. And then
Imam, ah, is like I am Imam Ahmed, while that story is not authentic,
we have sur nur Where is telling the people make is the qur and
Allah is going to bring risk from the heavens to you. So we know
that Allah can subjugate the heavens and the earth to answer
you. But how do you know whether or not he actually loves you?
That's different from answering your DUA.
How do you know that Allah loves you?
Okay? There is an ayah in the Quran where Allah says, Yo,
Malayan man wala, Banu, Ilam and et al bahabi Salim, that on that
day, the day of judgment, it doesn't matter how much money you
have, it doesn't matter how many who your family is, the only thing
that matters is when you come with Al bin Salim is often translated
as a pure heart. So tell me, what is a pure heart? When you hear a
sound heart or a pure heart, what does that mean to you? What does
it mean? Tell me, sorry, healthy
heart. What does it mean? Healthy Heart? Healthy Heart? Yes, a
heart connected to Allah, okay, sincere, okay, yeah, kind Okay,
yeah, they
repent from the sins they commit. Yes. What else?
These are all of these scholars have said all of these things, but
the scholars say one specific thing, that it's not about not
committing sins. In fact, Abu Bakr Al, the Companions, he asked two
of them, what do you think this verse means? And they said,
someone who doesn't commit sins. And Abu Bakr Al, the replied by
saying, you've given it a meaning it doesn't have. The meaning of
this verse is someone who believes in Allah and they don't worship
anyone other than Allah, and they believe in the hereafter with
certainty. This person is the one who comes with a sound heart.
Kalbin sanim, you worship Allah and you believe in Allah with
certainty, but the here in the Hereafter with certainty. Now
there are going to be times that even though you generally believe
you have questions or you have doubts, and there were a group of
companions that came to the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam, and they said, this is in Sahih Muslim. They said, sometimes
we have these thoughts about Allah, and we can't even say them
out loud. They're so intense, like we can't we can't even say them
out loud. We're so embarrassed. And the Prophet.
Some responded by saying, Do you seriously have thoughts like that?
And they're like, yes. The Bible says like, for real. They're like,
yes. And the pastor, some said that that is sorry, holy man,
sorry man. That is clear faith, the fact that sometimes you have
thoughts that you're not sure are appropriate to have about Allah or
religion, and then you're embarrassed or you're ashamed and
you're well, I can't believe I thought that I can never even say
that out loud. That means you have clear faith. The fact that you're
worried about it, in and of itself, is a sign of your
sincerity and your dedication. So when you question whether or not
it's okay, the fact that Allah has created in within his religion,
this mercy, that it's okay, and that it means it's a sign of your
own faith, it's a sign of His love for you. You know, there's a verse
in the Quran, in source of Quran, that talks about people who commit
sins, make sense, and then they repent, and they do get deeds, and
Allah says that he replaces the bad deeds with good. Tell me what
that means on the Day of Judgment. If it means you come on the day of
judgment, and Allah has replaced bad deeds with good deeds. What
does that mean to
you? Yeah.
Okay, so he erases a bad deed with a good deed that's beautiful.
Anyone else
that's Lily the answer, the answer is that you go on the Day of
Judgment. This person comes on the Day of Judgment. This is in the
seat of this verse that this person comes and is like they're
asked, Did you commit this sin? Did you commit this sin? Did you
commit this sin? On the Day of Judgment, your eyes are going to
testify against you. Your hand is going to say, Yes, I did do that.
Are you? I have my hand that said, Yes, I did. Your body is going to
be a witness against you, even if you want to say you didn't do it.
So you can't deny it. So the person is like, Yes, I did, my
lord, yes I did, my lord, yes, I did, my lord. And he's afraid
because he knows what else is in there. And then it is said,
replace all of the bad deeds with good, all the sins that you have
committed in your life, your life, my life. If we repent, if we say,
oh, Allah, I'm sorry. I want to try again. I want to fix myself.
I'm trying. Do you know what he does? He takes those bad deeds and
he puts it into your good deeds. And so this person then sees that
all the bad deeds are put into good and then they respond and
say, but there's some stuff in here. I didn't I did other things,
they're not in here, like there's other stuff, there's other bad
stuff I did. But you know, Allah SWT merciful. He waits. The angels
wait before they write down what you've done, just in case you're
going to repent, just in case you're going to ask for
forgiveness, they don't even write it down yet, because what if
you're going to ask for forgiveness before it's even
written? So there's not always bad these words, because you've asked
for forgiveness before them. We talked in our earlier session
about addiction. There are some deeds of excuse me, deeds that you
need professional support for. You can't just keep praying, pray, of
course, of course. You can keep praying, praying, and you should,
but pray to get some pray for for the to stop this in but also, if
it's an addiction, you need professional support and help too,
the two together. But what if you sin and then you repent, and then
you do it again, and then you sin, and then you repent, and you do it
again. You sin, you repent, you do it again. Are you really sincere?
Are you sincere? Yes, you are sincere. Because you're going back
to it over and over. And if we if you came to me and said, Sorry,
but I knew you were going to do it again, and then I knew you were
going to do it again. Would I think you're sincere? I wouldn't.
I wouldn't think you're sincere. So we assume how we would react is
how Allah will react with us. But Allah is greater than that. Allah
is greater than us. He is greater in the way that he sees us than we
see our own selves. Sometimes you might be afraid that someone
doesn't like you, or someone is like, Oh, I hate that person, or
they might hate you and but really, you might hate yourself
more than anyone else could hate you. That doesn't mean that Allah
hates you. It doesn't mean that Allah doesn't love you and that
he's not seeing you in that way. And look at what he says in the
Quran. There's a verse in the Quran that talks many verses that
talk about angels, but there's a verse that says about the angels,
that they hold up the Throne of Allah, and they go around the
throne, praising him, believing in Him, and asking for forgiveness
for the believers. What does it say
they're constantly asking for forgiveness for little ladina
Amanu, who is little Nina Amanu, when you still feel yourself.
Who are liladina amanu? Someone who's liladina amanu is not
somebody Lila Nina, Lil mominin or Lil mohsinin. Do you know who that
would be? That would be someone who worships Allah all the time.
They are constantly on top of it. They are trying their hardest, and
they're constantly aware those are the mercy and the meaning. That's
not the word Allah uses. He uses someone who has believed. And the
scholars of tafsir say that is someone who, in their heart, they
believe in Allah.
Up. They believe in Islam, but they struggle with the action.
They can't always do the action. They struggle with doing the
Action Bin Laden, or the people who Allah has angels roaming the
earth. Well this, in this case, they do roam the earth as well,
another circumstance. But in this ayah that they are just constantly
making dua for you while they praise Allah and hold up his
throne. Do you understand how serious that is? He has put the
person who believes in him but struggles with the action he has
made angels who do nothing but hold up his throne and praise him,
and he's connected it with asking for forgiveness for us. And it's
not the person who's praising him all night and fasting every single
day. It's the person who's struggling because he knows how
hard it is he created. He knows, but he loves you so much that
these angels, you know what angels bring. Angels bring with them
protection and barakah, blessings and mercy. And when you make him
do Ali say, Amin, Imam Al bawi is its professor of the Quran. He
said that if one angel said Amin, just one angel said, Amin, it
would be enough for the entire ummah. So what about having a
having a legion of angels making dua for you? How do you think that
impacts your life? Allah loves you so much. In the Quran, he says,
Allahu, Wali, you'll let
that. He is the Wali of the believers. What is a Wali? It's
somebody who cares for you, who protects you, who's invested in
you, who's an ally for you. It's someone who's got your back and
who is Allah saying he's a wali for someone who believes and every
single person in this room, even if you don't think you're worthy,
even if you don't think you're worth it, even if you struggle
with it, you count as somebody who Allah says He is their Wali. We
just have a responsibility of when we talk or think or or connect in
our own heads with Allah. How are we going to see him? Are we going
to be making dua? And when we make dua, we say, oh, Allah, please
help me on my test. And then in your heart, you say, I know, I
know I'm going to fail. And I'm going to fail because you don't
want to give me exactly what I want, because you know that's what
I want. Have you ever had that conversation in your heart you
make a job or something, and you think Allah is going to give me
the opposite of it, because he knows how badly I want it. That is
not thinking well of Allah. But of course, some of us have been
trained to see Allah in that way. Some of us have, some of us have
been trained to see him in that way. So we need to rewire our
neurons. Have hope in Allah's mercy. Because he says, I am as my
servant thinks I am, I am as my servant thinks I am to have hope
in Him, and He will respond to you with that hope and the way that
you become beloved to Allah, there's a hadith that talks about
how to become one of Allah's Beloved. How to become one of
Allah's Beloved, you do the obligatory deeds, and then you do
the extra. You do the the obligation, and then you do the
extra. If you're struggling to do the obligation, ask yourself, I
might not be able to implement all of this overnight, but what is one
thing I can start doing one day a week, and then what is one thing I
can do two days a week and build on it, and Inshallah, in one or
two or three or 10 years, that decision you made 10 years ago is
going to be so worth it for your dunya and your advocate onshallah.
And may Allah bless all of us with being of the people that he loves
me so panic film that you know too late, I think we have five minutes
for Q and A, 10 minutes, the
moment when no one has a question, we have 10 awkward minutes of
silence. Okay, you have a question. Thank you for saving us.
So you were
talking about how sometimes repent and incoming,
repent and commitment. I was wondering how that is sincere in
comparison to
the hypocrites. Comparison to the hypocrites. So when you have a sin
that you feel bad about, and you don't want to go back to it, and
then you're like, Oh, I'm so sorry, and then you go back to it.
It's not because you're trying to trick Allah. Allah, you can't
trick Allah. You're just a weak we're we're weak, but we were, we
are all humans. Allah literally call this weak in the Quran. Like
we are weak, sometimes we have something to keep going back to.
Also, it's a habit. Like you create a new habit, you break an
old habit. It's a process to make a new habit. So that process is a
process of jihad. And you know what the Prophet SAW is said about
the Mujahid, the person who is striving to do the right thing,
even striving to to obey Allah, even when they don't want to, or
they're striving not to do something he doesn't want you to
do, even though they want to. He doesn't call him a hypocrite. He
says they are Mujahid, and Mujahid is someone who's a warrior. So the
fact that somebody keeps going back and they come back and they
keep playing, but they're trying, so that makes them inshaAllah
Abuja or Mujahid, a warrior. There's a difference between that
and someone who's doing it. And they are on the outside saying
they're going to repent, but on the inside it's not even it's
different from like, I'm going to repent, but they're like, Oh, I
know, I'm not going to change. That's different. It's I'm going
to repent. I want that.
Outside, but that I don't care about changing, I don't care about
is that, like saying things like that, even on the inside, you see
what I'm saying. It's about the state of the intention when you go
into it. Did I answer your question? Thank you for asking.
Does anyone else have a question? Yes. I'm very curious. Or
something, the angels
repeated back
then I saw upon you. Yeah. Back to us
from
the angel?
Yeah? Angel Jabil, specifically alaihi salam. When you send
salaam, the Prophet SAW not just any Angel. Angel Jibreel sends
Salam to you. So to have your name on the lips of the one who brought
the Quran down to is an honor that Allah has bestowed upon us. And
also you reminded me of this, like really amazing Hadith. So just
repeat after me, um, we can say it in English or in your big Oh,
Allah, forgive all the believers, those who are alive now and those
who have passed away.
And there's an authentic narration that when you make that dua, that
job, asking for forgiveness for all the believers, that you get
one reward for every single believer. Because, like,
Inshallah, Inshallah, all of us just are going to walk out here
with, like, literally billions of, maybe trillion, I don't know,
gazillions of rewards inshallah. So keep that saying, Salaman, the
Prophet, Salla Salam, making job for other people, asking for
forgiveness for all the believers.
It's just like you don't know what you're going to see on the Day of
Judgment. You don't know how high your rank is, because you don't
think it's that big of a deal. But it's a big deal to Allah subhanahu
wa Sala, that you invested, that you care. This is a beautiful
question. Thank you. Does anyone else have a question? Yes, if, if
we're trying to make God for something for ourselves or for
someone, like someone says, Thank God for me for this, yeah, what if
you know that thing might not be what's best for them is there
should we be more big in our hotdog, or should we be specific
and
ask for that specific
thing and have so you just add a this is so funny because you just
got a phone call.
So this mother, Okay, nevermind this matter. Okay. Just put a
closet. When you make the jaw, you're saying, oh, Allah, bless
them with whatever it is, if it's best for them, if not, bless them
with something better put the closet. Does anyone else have a
question?
Yes, if you want to move into
a global call
the next phase we passed that some of the struggle for many of us,
when we come to the subject,
for many of us who want to protect, is exercise of self
restraint. And of course, self restraint is on the pillars of the
staff, very important function
without it. But sometimes self restraint itself becomes very
exhausting. It's very difficult to keep on my environment. So if you
want to push that next phase, if I want to move away from the sink
and self restraint is just, you know, exhausting
me, sins are just habits. They're literally habits. We've made a
we've made a pattern. We have triggers that trigger the
response. It's just about creating new patterns and habits. So like,
if every time I'm going to tell you something this, I don't know
if this really counts, but like,
Yeah, so like, something that I was practicing, okay, something
that I was practicing for myself,
I would have someone do that to me all the time, because I wanted my
reaction. I wanted my response. Sorry, it's just my martial arts
coming out. Sometimes I wanted my response to be the Shahada. Why do
I want my response to be the Shahada? Because at the moment of
death, you are going to respond however you lived. So I wanted
male love us as well, with long lives of health and energy, the
way that I trained myself. I used to say, anytime I got hurt, I'd
say out or, like, I'd like, you know, fall, I'd be like, oh, so I
wanted to train myself to make the kid. I wanted to train myself to
say the shahada so anyone that I trusted, I would be like, can you
randomly try to punch me? I didn't actually punch out, but like, you
moved back on. Why? Why'd you move back?
But you didn't, but you did a lot reflex, right? It was a reflex.
That's the point you want your reflex to be Allah's worship. It's
your reflex. It's not even something you think about. You
have to train yourself for it. So getting to like another level is,
how are you going to be creative and talking to your soul like your
soul doesn't always listen to don't do that. You're not gonna
don't do that. You suck like your soul isn't always ready to listen
to you, hating yourself again. You have it I create. Did I answer
your question? Yeah. What is your name? No, not your respectfully.
Respectfully. Thank you. Ziad, right, okay. But the person I
almost
punched Are you? Are you? That's my cousin's Okay. Aria, I'm
praying for you because
of the time. Ari,
are you?
To get yourself canceled. Yeah, okay, Ariana, I'm sorry, and I'll
pray for you. Chelsea, Mia, please forgive me for doing this too. It
wasn't, I didn't chewina, it
wasn't even a real punch. So there was no like serious. You know,
there's none of you afraid. But thank you for playing so, so good
natured to be with that. Okay, who has another question? One more
minute, yeah.
How do we know that? Because the Quran says it like it's just
clear. The Quran says, for those who believe, if you are one of
those who believe, Inshallah, you can and amongst them, how do we
know that? Like,
just what I'm saying, like, is a certain spirituality for them to
make. So there's different angels assigned different things. There's
angels that are assigned just to roam the earth and look for this,
this coming together to talk about Allah. So right now, Inshallah,
there are angels surrounding this room where they are praying for
us, and they're going to go back to Allah, and they're going to say
that they came together for no other reason than your
remembrance. And what are they seeking? They're seeking paradise.
What are they seeking? They're seeking away from hellfire. And
that Allah gives that to inshallah us, even if this brother, who
brother? Were you part of this group, or were you did just walk
in and out? No,
okay, this brother, he was not actually part of our group, but he
just happened to walk in. Were you really here to benefit from the
lecture? No, but, but.
No, no, no, let me tell you something that is a human
response. What is Allah's response that Allah will include you as the
person who's forgiven and blessed and written amongst the people of
paradise, Inshallah, just because you were here and though so
respectfully, of course, I know exactly what you were doing, I
mean, but you get it, what I'm saying? Human response? Yeah, you
don't actually get the credit. You'll barely hear Allah responds.
You showed up like Allah Akbar. That's how much he loves you.
Allah wants you to win. Allah wants you to win. Every time
you're not sure, tell yourself Allah wants me to win. That means
go back to him. Allah wants me to win. Go back to him. Allah wants
me to win. Go back to him. Do that for the rest of your life. Shaw,
Allah and Shaw Allah, it will be so much for the hereafter. Sha
Allah, I hope I answered your question. But the point is, there
are other angels. There are other angels who are not assigned to do
this. They are assigned to just make dog for anyone who believes,
period. So different angels have different assignments.
Uh, okay, so pentacle, okay, okay. This is the end. I'm leaving right
now. Inshallah, please forgive me for my shortcomings. It was an
honor to be with you at this camp. Inshallah, you all live very
successful, happy lives, and please pray for me and my family
So Patrick, Aloha will become the Commission on the Edna stuff.