Ismail Kamdar – Masculinity, Marriage and Parenting

Ismail Kamdar

Dr Asif Munaf @drasifofficial

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The speakers emphasize the importance of finding a natural flow in the natural world and avoiding marriage and getting married early. They also discuss the negative impact of "vanage behavior" on women and emphasize the need for a woman to take care of others. The conversation touches on the current women'sity crisis and the benefits of "vanage behavior" for men, with a course on "vanage behavior" and a recommendation to visit their website.

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			Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of masculine and mastery. I'm your host Dr. Ross IV is the
show where we talk about things that matter to men. And with me today, all the way from Durban in
South Africa is shirtless Michael Campbell, who's a BA in Islamic Studies, who is the founder of
Islamic self help, and author of more than a dozen books, including co authoring one with Chef Omar
Solomon. He is based in South Africa but travels and has delivered lectures all over. He's got a
best selling five star rated course called is a history of Islam on Gumroad, as well as a marriage
masterclass. And he's mashallah from the same city, your singlehood. He tells me as Jack Ma da da da
		
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			him Allah. It's my use by Welcome to the show.
		
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			So I'm not gonna say thank you for having me. Welcome. Everybody got to and how have you been? How
is how's the pulse Hola. I don't know if we impose COVID. Now, because I remember when I was working
in the frontline, we had, we had a very from South Africa, it was packaged Fanta hydrograph sent to
the west. And we called it Omicron. It was called a South African American for a lot of other
things. Now with COVID, etc. In South Africa. I'm asleep. It's like it never happened. It's like,
like a year ago, it just disappeared.
		
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			Like, we had to wear masks for like almost three years. And remember, it doesn't go into Istanbul.
And I'm so happy to be in a place where I didn't need to wear a mask. And while I was in Istanbul,
we got a news report as Africans will have to wear masks anymore. So I came back to South Africa.
And it was like, it never happened. Like if you walk around talk to anyone. It's like it's just like
something everyone's forgotten about, like no one talks about two or three years anymore. Yeah, nice
rice semi. So last year, we went away and had to wear masks. And then a week later, Joe Biden made
the announcement about people entering America, but South Africa was was on the red list. Because
		
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			this new revenue we got in the UK, apparently starting South Africa, etc, etc. But we've got these
images in the media, South Africa being the worst affected country, in the Southern Hemisphere, etc.
But nonetheless good to know that things are back to normal, relatively speaking. And I think COVID
has brought about some
		
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			changes, which were missed accelerated changes, you know, these digital platforms people to speak.
Now, usually, if you do a podcast or you do a lecture, you have to travel to university. I think
hamdulillah Chroma has really accelerated things which are much needed, you know, before, like I
said, travel now everything's becoming like a global village. Yeah, you're interesting about that is
I've been working online since 2010. And I've been homeschooling my kids just as long. And for like,
10 years, I felt like an odd duck. Like, I'm the only person I know who works remotely and the only
person I know homeschools, my kids. And then the pandemic started. And the whole world's asking me
		
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			for advice. Like, how do we work from home? How do we homeschool our kids and suddenly all of this
is normal.
		
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			Really need for what the world is going to be? Yeah, absolutely. I think you've, you know, you're
ahead of the curve. Give me hikma, your head of the camera centering system for 2020. I never spoke
to a patient on the phone. Never. I never, never 100 consultation Subhanallah literally six weeks
later, when caught with it. I was doing 90% of my consultations on the phone, like on video chat,
even with the elderly. And it just changed overnight. And it was unfortunately to change the say
sometimes days. Sometimes decades happen in days, or sometimes days happen in decades. So we were
living in the UK where things were growing at a glacial pace. So Deniz were happening only in
		
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			decades, but then the quality numbers upon literally decades worth of change,
		
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			or digitization of particular health care happen happened within days. And for me as a doctor
certainly has been a interesting journey. I want to speaking of journeys, smartly. I've been
following agenda for hours. I remember I first came across you on your Keynes, or Ramadan series,
whether it be 30 for 30 with Chef Omar Soleimani based in the States, and then I read an article of
reading about you and your martial seem to be one of the first people we've got brother Faris
Muhammad fire. It's also based, I believe in American who started the productive Muslim Company, but
you alongside him. Were probably the pioneers in Islamic self development, personal development,
		
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			self help and internationally. You've got them
		
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			Well unique name Islamic self help. Something like this came about from Route read you see the need?
Where was the pain point in the Ummah to bring about this initiative with books and courses and
content?
		
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			Um, that's
		
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			a good question goes back to almost a actually goes back a whole decade now, right so I'm Bella, I
actually started Islamic self help in 2014. So really going back a full decade
		
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			there's the personal side of it, and then there's the Ummah side of it. So the personal side of it.
Back then I was working for Dr. Bill Phillips at the IOU as a teacher. And I got promoted to faculty
manager, and I realized I did not have the skill set for management work. So I began to read books
to build a skill set. And I read books, like the seven habits of highly effective People How to
influence influence people, a lot of self help books, and I realize that
		
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			a lot of this content is good. But there are certain elements of it, but you need someone to explain
it from an Islamic perspective. Right? A lot of it is it's this influence of individualism,
		
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			love of the dunya
		
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			a lot of a lot of things that contribute to the concept of other nests, it's things that you don't
pick up if you read in the book on your own. So firstly, those books helped me they helped me become
the person I am today that I found the self help book will be very beneficial.
		
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			But also, I, I realized that people started asking me, they start asking me for advice on building
self confidence on time management, on public speaking fields or teaching skills. So I put together
a platform honestly, it's it's Islam itself after the one man show, the whole websites, timing, for
web design, to e commerce to marketing, everything's one man, right? I just put it together as a
platform to write my blog post and sell my eBooks. hamdulillah it's grown into an online business
that makes me good money.
		
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			Remember, way back when I was at university 2006, the Kindle first came out of medical school. And
now actually, the last follow up productivity guy isn't is a former medic, the Abdol he's from the
UK. He's a medic, went to university. So you know, as medics and as medical students, we were very,
very big on self help, you know, you see you you're drinking the monster there and we were all using
our medical knowledge to biohack you know, caffeine tablets and or even some people taking drips in
their on. They were taking Modafinil, Ritalin, all this while a lot of these medications of medical
students could get a better knowledge about psychology and getting knowledge about you know,
		
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			neurobiology. And then I started reading his books as well self help, you know, Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People Stephen Covey, and How to Win Friends Influence People etc. You write a lot
to me even Napoleon Hills. Think rich grow rich and wealthy. These were 100 years over the last 70
years old actually thinks rich Grow Rich did reference before so someone did referencing about his
his marital life, etc. It did reference him
		
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			in a good way. But I'm also there's also Michael Hart and Mike Michael hearts List of 100 most
influential people, which again, are some of the number one. But all of these books when the Kindle
first came out, self help books if you look at the top 100 They were all from a secular point of
view about now. Now now, no reference to the afterlife, no reference to other no reference to the
sphere, no reference to a philosopher and their son, they will only no less use in the Quran.
Younger
		
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			people will run from that brother from the SCA from that. So Steven, they were reading let's see
enough's enough. See that's on your camera. But I find in these books, it was also the same thing
initially, enough's enough see me self made man and there was no illusion.
		
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			There was no reference to other or Allah subhanaw taala. Some of them later on started talking about
the universe with the capital, you often wonder if he is around a lot, but they were very, you know,
a religious secular, written by people who are Christian on paper, but there was no reference and
when they did that, from a marketing point of view, but just like your smile, I felt a void in my
life reading these books. I felt worse unless the channel telecommuters picture. Is that how you
felt?
		
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			Yeah, that are the exact same feeling and the exact same journey. I did see some books were from a
Christian perspective, some were from a Buddhist perspective, hadn't seen anything from an Islamic
perspective. Right now we have a lot and Hamdulillah. Now, a lot of artists have come into this
field and we do have a lot of good literature in this field. But back then in 2000, and
		
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			13 to 10 years ago, I don't know any Islamic books on this topic, right? So I wrote my first ones on
time management and self confidence. I literally launched my blog with those two books getting the
baraka, which is about time management and digital creation, which was about self confidence. And I
built it around concepts taken from the Quran and Sunnah, but explained in modern terms, so for
example, I speak about having a Allah centric mindset. Yes, right? Or an afterlife first mindset,
right? So these are things that you don't find in the western books. I criticize some of the
concepts, you find the the Western book. So for example, the idea that you are the captain of your
		
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			own ship, you write your own destiny, it's okay, you're the captain of your own ship, Allah still
controls the ocean, to control the waves
		
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			that are outside your control some things that you're not going to get, not everyone's going to be a
millionaire, not everyone's going to be a billionaire. Not everyone's going to live a long life.
Right? There are things outside our control, and we have to accept that right? Otherwise, you are
denying one of the pillars of fate, by the way. So I criticized some of these concepts.
		
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			I developed for example, self confidence, I developed this idea that our confidence in ourselves
should not come from a place of ego. There's a couple things of trusting Allah, Ya, Allah has given
me the capabilities to serve his Deen, Allah has given me the capabilities to do my my job. Well,
this is from Allah, it's not from me. So it shouldn't have ego involved, it should come from a place
of submission. So there was a lot of thought that went into criticizing the ideas, right, looking at
each idea critically and thinking, is this in line with Islam or not? And then explain it
accordingly. And that's where the whole concept of Islamic self help developed for you. And
		
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			absolutely, you're right, because it's, there's no Allah subhanho wa Taala is not at the center of
the self help books. It is me, me, me in Eagle, and we get this whole thing our self made
billionaire self made this self made that
		
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			the universe will listen to you. A lot of it is nonsense. Exactly. Univer I tweeted this a few days
ago, or maybe yesterday, you know, there's an existential void in a lot of people. And that's why
because when the fitter is just, you know, you're going against the federal, it, there's a
misalignment of priorities. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is not at the center of that. Because once
you cultivate gratitude, and I say, as a family Ruby, this is a photo from my Lord has has a we got
a great story, which we will recite tomorrow and Surah Kahf.
		
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			With
		
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			so I forgot to
		
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			answer Fessler. Again, even Zukerman is telling a story. This is from Iraq. Allah has a vector for
me. It's an EN miton kingdom, you know, he was traveling and he had a night and you know, he was
alone. But he acknowledged from him. It can never be self made. And even when he had his, you know,
you know, small parts of India, hey, it's not your house. It says from also from mozzarella, it's
not from me, and we've gone away from this Hanalei, you know the Ellen
		
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			mentioned, actually, ultimately the opposite the story of the two men in the cave, yes, both my God
and my wealth. And he's when you say mashallah, why don't you see like, like, what we love? Why
don't just take all your success back to Allah. So the Sunnah mentioned both sides, the person who's
thinking, me, me, me and the person who's attributing to Allah. It's both found in the same sort of
		
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			provenance in surah. And Dino we are instructed by our Salah Salem to recite this on Fridays to to
mitigate the fitna of the journal and the journal. I guess emoluments arrival
		
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			will be living in a society where knifes rule supreme, the knifes rule supreme. So with the status
of the two governments Me me me and the Gordon gets straight and it ends with the story of Heather
and it says he's got too much power but he doesn't actually get any of that to himself. And he tries
to be just and it shows us Subhanallah where we are now in terms of our enough Mee Mee Mee look at
this and I'm better than you. And this is a very fertile ground for the job. very fertile ground.
I'm like getting this now with the selfie culture. Mee Mee Mee it's only you know, is one of your
However, I've been a doctor enough 11 years and I've seen 25 year olds die as if that's what it
		
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			takes. His three year olds have heart attacks and just Alaskan 33 year olds. You don't need a knee
and you and life is longevity is from Allah subhanaw taala this is something we have had we can
always make dua and you know, we always make the rabbit ultimately, ultimately, Allah subhanaw taala
has got the whole picture. We've just got that
		
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			pixel of the puzzle. Allah subhanaw taala has got the whole picture. So it's highly emotional.
You've been doing this for a decade. And you know, you talked about the problems in Western
literature, when it comes to self help and, you know, just self development not having God in there.
What problems are you finding? When you reach out to people, you go to conferences, or you do the
coaching and the courses have given Gumroad? Once we finally get in the online itself, like wants to
avoid that, because obviously, a slam is not the boat there. What is the void in the OMA?
		
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			So it depends on which segment you're talking to, right? Because what I found is people in different
countries in different economic levels are facing different problems, right. So someone who is from
a poor migrant family has a very different set of problems from someone with a spoiled rich kid.
		
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			someone living in a country where the government are tyrannical is different, they have different
set of problems from someone living in a country with their more freedom.
		
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			But in terms of the people who contact me for help in this area, lately, the problems seem to
revolve around a few things. Number one, the issue of masculinity. That's just like the number one
question I get asked about recently, are not just for men, by the way, I have mothers calling me
saying my son, my child is 27 years old, and still sit at home playing video games all day, when we
talk to my child for good cause.
		
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			When I was 27, I had four kids and I was the
		
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			physician at work. So to hear someone talk about the 27 year old equality, my child, you can see
where the problems stemming from right. But masculinity is number one. Number two is this is the one
No one talks about, but I feel is probably most crucial. And underlining everything else is hyper
individualism.
		
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			Nimi culture, people don't want to get married, they don't want to have children, they don't want
any responsibility. They don't want responsibility towards their parents towards the neighborhood
towards the Ummah, it's just about them, their desires, their goals, it is the worship of the South,
and I don't see people talking about this enough, we have an entire generation who have just become
all about themselves to such an extent that they won't even get married, because that's going to
interfere with chasing my dreams. And my goals are this this is it's become really scaring the level
of self worship that we've seen from this younger generation.
		
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			A third problem that I'm seeing with this generation is a lack of understanding of what marriage is
and why we should get married. Right? So like, for the bulk of human history right ago, 10 years
ago, people knew you grow up, you get married. Now I'm dealing with young people who tell me why
what's what's the benefit? What's the purpose? Well, you know, what do I get out of marriage. And
this This is this isn't really so much a self help problem as it is a problem with the culture we
are living in. Because the culture we are living in has replaced manage with self pleasure, if you
understand what I'm talking about, right? And people don't see the need of having someone else in
		
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			their life.
		
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			They literally don't see the benefit of Manipur anymore. People feel like a waste of time. And
what's going to happen to the Okey doke, what's going to happen to the next generation? Are we even
going to have a next generation?
		
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			Exactly, absolutely. The same. I read a tweet today saying a lot of these, you know, we chose
Muslims to be environmentally friendly, etc. But we don't take things to the extreme you know, as in
so there's a lot of climate protests were made yesterday. Now, this is a theme, no belief in God or
even Yamanaka. But climate change is become that the minute we do believe in conservation, whether
we believe in selling Toyota who really want being conservative with the water and you know, etc,
etc. And not sitting on a tree so we know this, but we don't take this thing to the extreme. Anyway,
extremism of any form is completely not in Islam. We are not on WhatsApp, you know, of the middle
		
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			path. Anyway, this extremism with the left wing etc.
		
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			of climate change, the saying don't have children is bad for the environment. So I think these
people are gonna kill off humanity before their climate doesn't, you know, they may be getting ready
for climate change, you know, with the whole invasions, etc. I think enough having children will
tell us Africa would explain generations with us quicker than they don't greenhouse emissions and
global warming and all these things. So Islam provides a beautiful solution to this which is Marie
young, Allah subhanaw taala will provide for you this will preserve the social structure, you know,
people won't be born out of wedlock. It will preserve sort of structure it will give a woman the
		
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			foundation to be provided for it will give the children a foundation that our Father in their life
and
		
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			They say, society is made from the family, which then makes the village which makes them makes the
city in a town and they you know, it makes the whole country that way. But it starts off with the
unity of the family. The Sunday unit is the basic criss cross. If you look at, for example, the
country or the Ummah, for example, among the global Ummah, as running jumper, you know, like a piece
of cloth is that the fabric is the family. That's the things that crossover, the basic structure is
a family and we're seeing that divorce rates is my 50%. I actually want a mom in the UK last week.
So it's actually not 50% It's 60 to 70% in the Muslim community in the West. And I'm not sure that
		
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			in South Africa, I know it's a bit less, you guys hamdullah still hold on to some values, but in a
west to reinforce generation now, my grandfather came my you know, like, third generation, my kids
are fourth generation now. They were born in the UK. I was born in the UK, my parents came they were
young when they came to the UK. So we're effectively third fourth generation now. Divorce rates is
my law in the UK. So more than half and it used to be really exemplary in the community. Muslims
don't get divorced. But now we've got a 50% divorce rate in
		
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			within Muslim families, and that's the ones that actually go and seek divorce in Islamic Sharia
courts in the UK. There are so many unhappy marriages. And again, I was going to tweet this but I
didn't want to make it too controversial, but medically speaking anyway, it's been the feminization
of men in our like men's testosterone levels have been declining, estrogen levels have been
increasing. And the opposite trend is with women, their test levels have been increasing, estrogen
has been decreasing, fertility is declining. So panels are chemically, men are less likely like men.
And
		
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			chemically, women are more like men and less like women. I was reading his one of the Halloween
elite.
		
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			He, you know, for one of the walls he came, he covered the distance of, you know, hundreds of miles
from from Africa, all the way to Hobart, which is near Bahrain, Bahrain, and they will travel this
on foot on camel on horseback with 20 kilograms of armor. So men were strong men, but chemically now
wages the less manly, this is causing the fertility rates to decline. Are you seeing a similar trend
in South Africa? Because I used to live in Masuka for children, but was a genuine trend and simply
found the numbers. So I would say I'm seeing this trend amongst the upper middle class and the
wealthy on the right.
		
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			Actually, I feel like that this whole problem we have of feminine men and masculine woman, it's it's
more prominent amongst the wealthier or the more upper middle class people, mainly because people in
difficult situations have to man up. Yeah, you have to man up at a very young age. Like I myself, my
father was murdered when I was eight years old. So I had to man up at a very young age, I'm the
eldest to be the man of the house in the age of eight. So I grew up very fast. I mean, age of 20, I
was married at the age of 21. I was a father, I grew up very fast. What I'm seeing is whenever
someone comes to me with this problem of having a son is like when feminists are very, you know, out
		
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			of shape, very weak. They usually the kind of kids whose mothers mollycoddle them, you know, they
never let them didn't let them get hurt. They didn't want anyone to hurt their feelings.
		
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			They never let them experience the world. They just kept him in this bubble. And boys do not become
men without facing adversity. This is important that boys face adversity and doesn't mean everybody
has to go through the issue of being robbed or going through murders or whatnot. You can stimulate
adversity, you know, you can do like I took my kids off to the mountains and we climb a mountain.
Just a few months ago, we were riding horses and it started pouring like, we had to ride the horses
back to the to our camp while we were soaking wet, and it was like water flowing through us. And
that's the kind of experiences that help my boys, you know, grow up my, my sons are 14 and 14, but
		
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			you're much more manly than many of the 25 year olds I meet because I let them have these
experiences. I noticed when we were younger, a lot of these mothers wouldn't even want their sons to
hear about the Battle of butter or the Battle of wood because violets
		
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			have a lot
		
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			of the Sierra like, what is this? And they'll say mothers are now complaining that their sons are
prominent, or girlish or bring the baby herd. Of course they are you kept them in such a bubble.
They never had a chance to grow up.
		
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			My life was the complete opposite by the age of 16. My mom will send me to the bank to do a banking
purchase and take a walk to the grocery store and buy groceries right because I was the eldest. So
		
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			the problem really comes from life.
		
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			sight parenting and lifestyle. A lot of times
		
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			it's incorrect parenting mostly from the mothers
		
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			that job normally to toughen his sons up. And nowadays a lot of mothers don't let that play that
role in their son's life. Right? They abusing the son not realizing the dad has to be tough on the
son to make his son into a man. They never let us do that anymore. Right. And that's causing boys to
not grow up
		
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			from the foods we eating, you know, I know the obesity amongst children. All of this is definitely
going to have any paper right? If a kid's not eating meat, and eating all kinds of sugary things.
He's going to be a doughnut, he's not going to be right. So problems is parenting problems. These
two areas especially need to be fixed if you want to raise a generation more manly 100% 100%. And
before sort of someone gave us the perfect Mercia for this archery. And you know, even on whether
the alarm, you know, swimming and wrestling, etc. We've got we've got examples from the Sierra, and
the scenes of Salah Salam, and the companies that followed him and what they did, and the kind of
		
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			food they ate as well as Mel otter precious, highly estrogen, which is causing men to become more
feminine. Estrogen is a female hormone estrogen production, these are female hormones. Men are
becoming less manly. Their testosterone is declining precipitously since the 80s. The same now 125
year old has the same
		
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			testosterone as a 75 year old, his grandfather two generations ago. So it's declining at an alarming
rate firms lifestyle as well. And then also you're right, you know being mollycoddle. We're wrapping
our boys up in, in cotton wool that look at you know,
		
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			the sahaba. And those are following them. And you know, for example, from Pakistan, I'm assuming
you're from the subcontinent as well. I know there's a big community in South Africa, the person
that bought Islam there, Mohammed bin Qasim, some say he was 17 Since he was 14. But regardless, he
was injured regardless, instantly. So when I was 17, or 14, as a teenager, he brought his salaam to
the shores of the South, also continental mom and dad had been car, he was a young man. So maybe
it's a hobby, that's rather a young differential, sadly, because he will cost went to China, young
men, you know, there were young men who, you know, from the age of seven, you got your children
		
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			under two boys. My eldest is five, I know. Nestea is his last year of childhood. By when he reaches
seven, he will be accountable for Salah Hmm, so he's got that I told him, you've got a woman there.
Yeah. And I think a child. Because you know, the man, the man is the shepherd of the family. And we
must follow the natural wings and desires and ologies and isms, which I'll come on to in a second,
because he mentioned a nice tweet yesterday, today, or a few days ago about marriage. But if you
don't follow the Simpson ologies we follow the you know, DNA hack. The final Sharia brought forward
for mankind come to her origins come to her alma did not result in us he was the best amount of work
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:32
			for mankind. So we gotta define Sharia, which is a guideline, not just a mother for Saturdays and
Sundays, whatever, Fridays, we've got a full economic system, and that's for machine light, you've
kind of understood that better than a lot of people because you've filled up self help and personal
development, whole with an Islamic lens. We know speaking there about him.
		
00:28:34 --> 00:29:18
			So yeah, I wanted to say the first point you made about mothers and wives, finding that a lot in the
UK, because fathers are working mothers spend a lot of time with children, to say the role of the
mother is to make the baby into the boy. But it is the role of the father to make the point into the
moment. And we're seeing mothers are doing the boss steps, baby into boy boy into men, but these men
will later become like, men because even a single he lost his father before he was born, the loss of
the mother of five, but he was predominantly raised by Abu Dhabi by his uncle and his paternal
uncles, you know, and this is ready to go as a youngster he went on expeditions to Syria, you know,
		
00:29:18 --> 00:29:28
			for free trade. He had that masculine in our surroundings and brotherhood is so important. This will
be pre Jamaat, you know, brotherhood is so important and we seem to be
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:44
			losing that. So with your permission horse riding, what other things do you do that what other kinds
of to hiking you mentioned, what things do you do to cultivate that are Julep in your boys? So,
there's a variety of things that we've been doing over the years.
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:52
			Firstly, I make sure my kids live a healthy lifestyle, right? No obesity allowed in my house for
good.
		
00:29:53 --> 00:30:00
			So they all need to work out. They need to eat healthy. They need to make sure they're in shape.
That's very important.
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:33
			Then another thing is that we have an environment where you learn to do things for yourself, and you
can make mistakes. So from a very young age, my kids can stay home alone, they can cook, they can
use a toolbox to fix anything in the house themselves. Right? I've taught him all these skills at a
very young age, I told him first aid at a young age, like, if one of them gets cut or bruised, they
don't even come to us, they go straight to the footpath, to patch it up themselves. Right. So you
know, these these skills, again, people don't want the kids to even see blood. I mean, they want to
be roughhousing, someone's gonna get hurt. That's part of being a young man. Okay, let them wrestle
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:51
			each other. Let them you know, roast each other. You know, I mean, you know, there's a banter in my
house between the boys, it's good because of the capability of dealing with bullies and trolls and
things like that, you know, I have the kind of conversations with my kids just to, you know, to
build in them that that mental toughness, because
		
00:30:53 --> 00:31:04
			because they don't have that in the home. Someone just calls them one name on Twitter, and they're
crying for weeks. Like, come on. People want to call your name, who cares? Right? So this is
important,
		
00:31:06 --> 00:31:45
			then also have the issue. Nothing I have in my boys is we have this concept of open conversation,
you can talk to me about anything, right? Like literally my 15 year old asked me like, is it true
that in Islam, men can sleep with their concubines? Like, yeah, it's true. So what's the problem?
And we'll discuss it right? It's like, they can ask me about anything. I don't have topics that are
off limits. Like they'll ask me about atheism, the last people know, Islamophobes, that did the
online, anonymously debating non Muslims all the time. So they bring all the questions me to get
stuck on your questions. I think it's important to have this open discussions and also actually talk
		
00:31:45 --> 00:32:01
			to my teenage boys about sexual health as well, right about the importance of getting married young,
having high testosterone levels, that it's natural, and it's normal at the age, to have high
testosterone levels and to feel these sexual desires. It's not something shameful. It's absolutely
normal. It's a sign of good health.
		
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			Young boys don't know this. And they go to the feeling ashamed of just being a man, because no one's
taught me these things.
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:13
			To me, are just some of the stuff we do then, of course, we have outdoor activities.
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:25
			It's not as much nowadays of the COVID as before, because a lot of things have closed down. But at
least once a year, we go to the mountainside for a week. going hiking.
		
00:32:27 --> 00:32:51
			privileged to have just one week in nature away from from city life. Yeah. That's brilliant. But
like I said, this is character building, you know, developing six game, developing resilience and
developing that independence, self sufficiency, because we were really truly self sufficient,
because almost monetizing, transposing, but having as much as you can do this a tiny little, you
know,
		
00:32:53 --> 00:33:23
			I always tell my kids listen, it me and your mother had to die suddenly, can you take care of
themselves? Or more extreme or tell them if the zombie apocalypse happens tomorrow? Can you provide?
Yes, that's a great example of cultivating that independence. And, you know, I did a podcast with an
American blogger who writes about this. And we talked about the pandemic of the man child, how many
minutes 30s minute child you know Subhanallah
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:38
			in Islam, you got a difference between a male and a man and man is Orajel mainly can be male by
birth, but a man is older Jalan Allah subhanho wa Taala says are Raja Tama Munna and Anessa.
		
00:33:40 --> 00:34:29
			Vanessa and, and the most mentioned prophet in the Quran, if you discount this area, as long as Musa
al Islam, and, and he was described by the one of the daughters said to their father, he is in play
him because he is convenient. I mean, he is strong, and trustworthy, he has integrity, strong,
physically strong. It's again, a sign of high testosterone. He is is a mean, again, a sign of good
morals. As someone who's got integrity, we're seeing to receive the opposite of this now seeing weak
men who cheat, cheat, lie and deceive and steal Subhanallah opposite of crummy on Amin, we've got
the perfect example in the Quran. loveswans Allah doesn't even
		
00:34:31 --> 00:35:00
			you know, either small because he mentioned parables of the of the wings of the fly etcetera.
Nothing in the Quran is there by accident. This is it. This is the word of Allah subhanho wa Taala
every story and every parable and every recounting of human events, Allah's paradigm for a reason.
And it when the women say this to their father about musalla, who they just met by the way, it's the
reminder to all as men, we should import
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:42
			Is this we should embody these two words are we gonna meet and how do we embody it? We've got the
twin two decades of narrations from Russell Salah salaam, his life, about chivalry, about
masculinity, and about bravery and courage. Yeah, so this concept of masculinity, you know that the
sad thing is, historically, wisdom didn't need to talk about us, right? Muslim didn't need to talk
about masculinity. It's something you learned from lived experience. You learn from your dad, you
learned from your mentors, learning from society. But the past 50 years, humanity messed up. In many
ways. Humanity messed up.
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:48
			The Sexual Revolution, the Feminist Revolution, individualism,
		
00:35:49 --> 00:36:34
			all these things messed up a lot of things, they've had ripple effects on society. And all of them
have had a negative impact on masculinity. Another thing that I'm very critical of which I don't
hear enough people criticizing is this construct of being in school until the age of 18. Right,
everyone considered a child to the age of 18. I believe this is absolute nonsense, like I homeschool
my kids. But really one of my revolutionary ideas I want to work on later in life, is to replace the
school system with a new system that's just from age seven to age 30. Why do you need to be in
school for that many years? Why does a 15 1617 year old need to be treated like a child? Yes, yes,
		
00:36:34 --> 00:37:13
			exactly. Why can't you graduate by age 13 or 14, and then society teach you like an adult and you're
forced to grow up? That's how it works with the bulk of humanity. And it worked. It worked wonders.
But this new system, you know, there is there is for many people, there's no point in their life
where they transition to adulthood. Right? It's like they just keep extending childhood. Like now
your people think you're under 25. The underdeveloped? That's ridiculous, right? By 25, our, you
know, either really accomplished a lot in life. It's not just me, many people in many people I know
have accomplished a lot. Many young people today have accomplished a lot before the age of 25. Where
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:30
			did this idea come from that your child until 18, or 20, or 25? It's a completely made up idea. It
really is. physical maturity happens when you hit puberty. mental maturity happens when, you know,
you realize you're an adult and you start behaving.
		
00:37:31 --> 00:38:11
			Now that can happen in puberty as well, if society is designed such they treat people as adults,
when they hit puberty. Modern society does not do this. Yes, one thing or 100 on my mother, she
raised us with this idea that when you hit puberty when you're an adult, and from puberty, she has
treated me as an adult. And that's one of the reasons I grew up quickly. And I'm using the exact
same approach for my children. Right, so So this is something that's working with my family. It's
something society needs to go back to, we need to realize this new system of treating people as
children, until 1820 25. It's not working and it's, it's causing people to waste the best years of
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:12
			their life.
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:24
			It's such a nice thing, the best years of their life. And now some women and some men only getting
married at age 30 or 35. And realizing it's too late for them to have children. And then what do
they do?
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:50
			You can't press backwards, you can't go back in time, you can't undo the decision. Right? You call
it reverse biology, Allah subhanaw taala has engineered us in the best of ways and you mentioned
this as well in the best of creation 100 trillion sign that we know in the best of fashion. And now,
you know, men are having kids a bit late so we can we've got a bit more leeway. Last one, Allah has
allowed us this.
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:52
			Exactly.
		
00:38:54 --> 00:39:21
			Yeah, you know, I picked up something recently on YouTube. And, you know, we get a lot of sisters
approaching from married we've got a group for for, you know, a UK based marriage for professionals.
And a lot of sisters are in their mid 20s. Like I know, in a medical system that doctors are just
graduated. I'm not ready to get married yet. Subhanallah Sister, you're 25 you're 24
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:59
			you know it, this is against the law. You're going against your very unclogged Allah subhanaw. Taala
has bestowed upon you, you're going against so many metrics, and you know, I'm not ready and again,
this hyper infantilization of men and women and you know what it benefits society to prolong
education 10,000 pounds a year. I don't know how much that is in round, but someone like this is
also worth money, you know, it benefits them to prolong education. It benefits them because it keeps
the institutions running universities etc. You know
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:01
			it benefits them to
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:45
			infantilized people for a longer range because it allows us to be people of the fucker, you know of
reflection. And Becerra a single means deep insights. Be in a being having perspective and
foresight. When you infantilized like you mentioned, children in education, treat them like, I have
kids. And when I'm the teens, in their 20s, you delay the Age of Enlightenment for them, where they
see the bigger picture of life. They see these isms and ologies, which are designed to make them
weaker. But if you keep them in education longer, you've got the blinkers on there for a longer
period of time. And this is a problem. I know lots of people are living in this in this cuckoo land
		
00:40:45 --> 00:41:26
			and actually thinking they are doing good, but in, you know, in the long term, that's really
damaging. I mean, a lot of us would have cut off which, you know, were mentioned earlier, we will be
Friday, Allah subhanaw taala says, rhetorical question. So I'll tell you who is it towards the end
of surah? Tough? Shall I tell you? Who is the, you know, the one who's lost? He who thinks he's
doing well, in his delivery, that is the router by his perception that he's doing well, and this is
exactly in the West, we are deluded, we're working right? You know, it's not working. But we're
studying we're doing well. But if you are going against what you were created for what must have to
		
00:41:26 --> 00:41:32
			change our insight into a creative man and to worship me one of the biggest acts of worship after
the secretive family units.
		
00:41:33 --> 00:42:11
			Yeah, so one of the topics I've been focusing on a lot recently is the purpose of marriage in Islam.
Right, because it's linked directly to democracy to Sharia the goals of Islamic law. Well, two of
the goals of Islamic law is the preservation of lineage and the preservation of honor. And this is
accomplished through getting married young. That's how you preserve your the nature and how you
preserve your dignity. And a lot of people are saying, what's the benefits of marriage? Well, the
benefits are long term, they're not they're not short term. Right? You get married young, you have
kids, guess what, by the age of 4050, you have a huge family that loves you. Right? But you get
		
00:42:11 --> 00:42:17
			married late and you missed that age to have kids. You want to be alone when you are old. Yes.
		
00:42:18 --> 00:42:57
			turn back the clock and entered and to undo your actions and, and to try something different. Right.
So really, it goes back to to the goals of the Sharia. What is Allah one for us? Allah wants us to
have families. Right. The prophets licencia Nikka. Whom is the God is my son, whoever turns away
from my sunnah is not of Me. So to say, I'm never getting married. I don't want to get married.
Marriage is not for me. You're not sure who this hadith is talking about? Right? Yes, government
shouldn't naughty, you're going against the Sunnah. The prophets also, I'm told people in the
teenage years, we told them, oh, young men, whoever amongst you can do so get married, commanded
		
00:42:57 --> 00:42:58
			them to get married.
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:22
			And marriage again, people have very westernized ideas of what is marriage, these think marriage is
settling down. No, marriage is starting life. It's not settling down. It's exactly. It's how you
start, like, the beginning, it can be booked a contract, it can literally just be a man, a guy and a
girl live together, they sign the contract to make the relationship. As we move in together four or
five years linear, you can do that.
		
00:43:24 --> 00:43:57
			Right. But again, we don't have this Islamic understanding of marriage, we have this Christian or
secular understanding of marriage, which is settling down what is settling down, settling down,
where people come up with Zina with as many people as they wanted, and now they're gonna settle on
someone to spend whatever's left of their life. That's not an Islamic concept. We don't settle down,
we start something together, and we grow it together over our lifetime. Yes, exactly. Settling down
constantly is very westernized. It's very very westernized. And again, it's a it's an economic term,
which has come about in the last 3040 years to keep the capitalist cogs moving. And it's
		
00:43:58 --> 00:44:12
			it's simple. It's actually easier to do nickel than it is to buy a house for instance, to buy
houses, you've got to go for contracts and lighters. Nikka two witnesses are really a it's the job,
		
00:44:13 --> 00:44:13
			you know,
		
00:44:15 --> 00:44:30
			acceptance, then you don't even have to have an imam there by the way. Imams don't have to be there
used to be to Muslim men have won the Father, uncle, and you can do it go within half an hour. And
there's no age limit provided they are.
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:54
			And there's no question that there's clear expectations. It's very simple. We have a family, right
in my family. We do it. Like in my family. I'll give you one example. Or one young lady in my family
when she was in the first year of university. She told her father she likes a guy. The next week he
brought the guy to the house spoke to him, called the Mallanna home perform the new kind of house.
And four years later, they moved in together.
		
00:44:56 --> 00:44:59
			And they have three kids together now and they've been married for 15 years. So Scott
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:16
			Um, that is Parker and also Salah Salem told us about this, you know, and we know now, the harder
you make Nica, the easier sinner becomes and Zina people think is a small sin. Is the murderers
gonna come second it is a human thing. So you longer sin is your guess
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:20
			those are the three.
		
00:45:21 --> 00:46:02
			Yeah, exactly. It's a huge sin. We've because only because we're living amongst South Africa, the
cricket sometimes and I've got to turn my head away. The women in the crops have some less. It's
South Africa. It's particularly in South Africa from all the countries in the world. I suppose I
rise, you know, Malachy federal, D. It's a hot country and you know, the frickin day. It doesn't
make it Hello, or even if everyone was doing it to stop, make it halal. And this is the wonderful
thing about Islam, because that's Sahaba data being interpreted and given examples taken to China
and to go all the way to Europe, as well as the fetal residence hall. So something died. I don't
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:49
			know Muslim countries, nations, they didn't enjoy doing what they did. They still kept the halal
halal and haram haram. It is not an excuse for us. We normalized it now to say when you get
submerged in the water, you become like a duck. But we must, we must never sink we must even if that
the sins are coming to our ears, where we live, we must not listen because Allah subhanaw taala
Sharia is for eternity does not for just the one generation it is for eternity. I mean, you're
speaking in waves by we've got a group where we like I said, we introduce a young brothers and
sisters with especially University, right, you know, we go to universities and say, Look, we speak
		
00:46:49 --> 00:47:13
			to the Father sometimes and that they're often being being an impediment to the nickel process. And
we're like, Uncle G, your daughter's going to Watson's going to if you don't say yes to the MCCA,
which you're facilitating that they're going to they're going to do Xena, Xena, would that be on
your head as well because you you know structure the path of Nikka. This
		
00:47:14 --> 00:47:44
			is a Hadith where the prophet Islamism said, Any young man who hits puberty, and his parents stopped
him from getting down in the Father will bear the brunt of the burden of SeaNanners. Well, because
he was an obstacle to this and getting married. That same applies to your daughter, if you are
obstacle between them and harangue you share in the center of the hierarchy. Absolutely, absolutely.
And it's become so normalized. No wonder, we're trying to weed out we're trying to educate brothers,
I was like I was 24
		
00:47:45 --> 00:48:20
			when I got married 24 and set seven, eight months outside of medical school straightaway, almost,
that having a first childhood like 29. And to this day, I think I know one doctor in 11 years who's
done it before me every single doctors that give silly or stupid writing a 35 because in their head,
marriage is settling down and like you said, marriage is not in Islam. It's not marriages is your
complete, it will get you to the next level, a woman will bring your own risk. And even if you are
poor, and you know, Allah will provide for you, you still gotta strive to camo but do not
		
00:48:22 --> 00:48:38
			postpone marriage for wealth. Because you never know a risk could come it could be unlocked during
marriage. And we've seen especially in the desert communities, that man's got to get back house and
he's got to spend so many 1000s of pounds, decentralise. This is an obstacle and this is not from
Islam. Islam is beautiful.
		
00:48:39 --> 00:49:18
			Some costume is porous to hobbies, married, you know, sort of July be the repose a hobby who got
married to this Dinakar a simple Islam is another concept here that absolutely now in the younger
generation, it's only Islamic. And this idea that marriage is only for the wealthy. Right? The
Sahaba even the poorest of Sahaba got married. I know, in South Africa, I know many people who are
not doing well financially but they are happily married. They struggling together for the sake of
Allah, they still love each other and care for each other. Right? It's not just rich people. There's
some people feel like we have to be at a certain financial level to get married. But that's never
		
00:49:18 --> 00:49:54
			been what Islam taught. And it's as you said, you know, Allah will enrich you. Allah will take care
of people, it is the test that they're going to go through life with poverty, that is Allah says for
that person. That means they never get married. No, they marry someone who's from the similar
background to them, and they face the test of life together. Right? It does make it easier to have
someone to go through the trials of life together with right but I've also seen this in my own life
because I got married at the age of 20. And I became a father age of 21. This forced me to work
harder in my 20s by the outside, because you have in your mind, I am now why am I now responsible
		
00:49:54 --> 00:49:59
			for these people? I cannot afford to miss the boat. I cannot afford to miss rent. I have to build up
my wealth.
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:05
			I have to build up myself financially, it forces you to grow up,
		
00:50:06 --> 00:50:15
			man, because you now have the possibility of other people on your mind. But if you are living alone
in your 30s, you know, what's the motivation to do well in life?
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:18
			Exactly.
		
00:50:20 --> 00:50:25
			We don't spend money on much things, right? The only thing we spend money on these are life
insurance. That's really where our money
		
00:50:27 --> 00:51:04
			should be happy. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I just wanted to level up in a good way of handling this
really, it's, it's incentivizes you to level up, because you're a man or a woman, you are not the
shepherd of this family, you steer them in the right way, you must teach them then you are
responsible for that, that appear. And you will get you will be answerable for them on your gamma.
So firstly, to level up, but if you are 30, living with their mother still And subhanAllah being a
burden on her, you have no incentive to level up because she's the house is paid off as your parents
house is paid off. Whatever, you have no money, you're not going to be answerable to, you have no
		
00:51:04 --> 00:51:26
			one who is dependent on you. You know, when you have children and a wife, you are forced to
financially improve, physically improve mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually improved,
because you've got people now who are dependent on you? Yeah, like one of the cases I'm dealing with
is like a 31 year old who has no work ethic at all, like, he can't hold on a job.
		
00:51:27 --> 00:51:31
			And I was trying to figure out why. And I realized his whole life he never needed to work.
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:44
			Like even if he gets a job and he quits after two weeks, his parents spoiling they take care of
everything. So what incentive there for him to ever become a hard working man, if he always has his
parents to fall back on.
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:54
			Right? They're gonna realize sometimes that we enemies when we, when we treat our our adult children
like this instead of forcing them to man up.
		
00:51:57 --> 00:52:07
			You actually doing them a disservice. You're doing them a disservice. You're not allowing them to
grow with you offering their potential inadvertently with love. I just say,
		
00:52:09 --> 00:52:52
			you know, you are killing them with kindness. Subhan Allah, you are killing them with kindness
because you're killing them. And something you tweeted about all the day. It got it got a lot of
traction on Twitter. It says you said the process of marriage that was the title of the tweet. And
we live in a time in which marriage is slowly becoming a pale shadow of what it once was. And this
is in part due to Hedden ism. And this is so true. Hedden ism, like the pursuit of pleasure. And
last one analysis and according to the nameless meaning in English, have you not seen the one who
takes his hyena in his Chihuahua is how I know his desires as his Allah, as his God, as his, you
		
00:52:52 --> 00:53:22
			know, as his conquest in life. Are we seeing this in the West desire, desire to fame, desires for
money, desires for women? SubhanAllah. And this you're right, this is we see if the guy you know,
alcoholism, destroying marriage, gambling, destroying marriage, ruminating, destroying marriage. So
Hannah, so many of these desires, which was one of our talks about, and now, you mentioned in a
tweet, or destroying marriage, What trends are you seeing with your counseling or your coaching that
you're doing? What kind of things are destroying marriage?
		
00:53:24 --> 00:54:05
			So marriage is being destroyed by one of three things, desires or wrong ideas, right? Desires would
be, for example, people committing adultery, * addiction, you know, materialism was just
wanting more and more dunya being really really greedy for the dunya thinking you can do better,
right and thinking that there is a man or woman out there for you instead of making sugar for Allah
has provided you with this is all designed here. That's what this is all. Another type of desire
that we don't talk about is desire that you know what if I'm not married to this man or woman, I can
do whatever I want. There's no one calling me out for coveting sense. So a lot of people get
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:20
			divorced, or they can commit nonsense, right? Like I know if some sister's husband used to make him
wear hijab, and they wanted to walk around wealthy jobs. So they got a divorce and now they got
pictures of themselves on Instagram and no job at all. So in this case, is completely desires that
		
00:54:21 --> 00:54:39
			right, the desire to to show what beauty to do to the world, which is still and that's the desire
side. The other side are the causes of divorce is one ideas. Like, what's the role of a man or a
woman in a marriage, right? People have very strange ideas about today.
		
00:54:41 --> 00:55:00
			I remember when I was teaching a youth program a few months ago, one of the high school girls told
me that she wants to work and she wants her husband to be a house husband stays home, he takes care
of the kids. And like why is the 15 year old girl thinking like this? Like it's such a bizarre,
unnatural thought process right? Like why
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:06
			With a woman who wants to marry a man who is going to be staying home while she works, how do we get
this flipped upside down as a community.
		
00:55:07 --> 00:55:22
			But these are wrong ideas that the younger generation are being fed. Right. And this affects how the
automatic job example. A lot of young girls are not taught about men, they don't understand male
sexual desire. You don't understand masculinity. You don't understand
		
00:55:23 --> 00:55:35
			how men talk, right? Or how men think. And as soon as they get married, they offended by everything
that husband thinks or says or does, because they have no understanding of men. Right? And we can
say the cool thing with some men and woman
		
00:55:36 --> 00:56:04
			getting a woman. And so when they get married, they're shocked. But I'm thinking more with the
sisters that, for example, a lot of young ladies are not taught that men, especially men have high
testosterone levels, they need a lot of intimacy. Right? They need a lot to this. Well, young ladies
are not taught that. And then this is like the most common question young lady is comfortable
counting like, My husband wants to talk to you wants too much. They watch too much, three or four
times a week. That's not normal.
		
00:56:05 --> 00:56:07
			Because normal is exactly
		
00:56:09 --> 00:56:29
			teaching them right. So they think that this is bizarre and this husband only but not realizing, you
know, we really have to have premarital courses when people these things, what are men like?
Desires? What are they need? What a woman like what desires what they need, you go into marriage
with with knowledge of what you're getting into? We are not preparing young the youngest.
		
00:56:31 --> 00:56:40
			So they go in with very bizarre ideas, complete lack of understanding of the opposite gender, and
this causes this causes the bad news to fall apart within one year.
		
00:56:42 --> 00:57:30
			Then Absolutely. Our Imam at the masjid says Subhanallah some people are getting married.
Bedwetting, we are not immune, going back and separate planes after a week. Because they spent a
month maybe years preparing a reading, but not the marriage. And we pass but I'm speaking
particularly to the sisters here. We prepare them with feminism and career ism. We prepare them to
become doctors and architects and engineers. But that's a secondary duty. The first duty is to be
the own will not mean that dream or the actual the the mothers of the Ummah, of the believers. And
I'm not writing us wise, but I've been shuffling around. I mean, as varje number is already out, and
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:51
			I couldn't return in what you're talking Mm hmm. You know, close allies. So we're preparing them to
be doctors and lawyers and dentists, whatnot. And then they're not, they're not ready in the 20s,
mid 20s. And then, when they do get married, they have no like you said conception of what a man
wants. Allah Subhana Allah says in surah, Malian the man that the boy is not like the girl. No,
		
00:57:52 --> 00:58:35
			they're not alike. And we see from psychology I speak. I speak a lot about this in my on my podcast,
the psychology of a man is different. And this is this is not the difficult one Allah, this is our
fitrah we have higher levels of testosterone, therefore our executive functioning is different. We
have lower levels of oxytocin, lower levels of progesterone, and lower levels of estrogen. So the
chemicals are based our brain are different. We have a higher * drive, we have more aggression,
women are going into marriage seeking all men are like that, that I've met now, particularly the
previous generation have been in escalated. So the only conception of a husband they have is from
		
00:58:35 --> 00:59:14
			their father, who was dominated by their mother. So when they marry a high testosterone man, he ends
up in divorce after a few months, so maybe a year or so because they're not used to what the high
test man wants. They're not used to his frame. They're not used to him leading because they because
they saw their mother leaving the marriage. So and they're not be prepared. They're going into
marriage, who willfully ignorant of Subhanallah This is a recipe for disaster. One of the things
I've been teaching their community, I keep repeating this phrase, we are preparing our children to
be good students have good careers. We're not preparing them to be husbands or wives or mothers or
		
00:59:14 --> 00:59:25
			fathers. And this is a disaster. Yes, absolute disaster. We've seen it with the younger generation
that they have no idea how to interact with the opposite gender. Right. And
		
00:59:26 --> 00:59:31
			again, you mentioned the example of where a woman grew up in a family where the men
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:59
			you know, with the Father where he escalated, but I've seen even in families where it's not the
case. So because somebody is Africa, we still have a lot of men limit, right? We still have this
culture where the men archiwum and so what they have multiple wives and you know, the leaders in the
home, have the culture studio in South Africa. But still with the younger generation, despite
growing up in a home like that, because of school. Because of the media what is seen on Netflix.
What
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:22
			You see on YouTube, what is even tick tock, this girl growing up with these wrong ideas about men,
right? So it's like they ignore the example of the hole, and they want to be like, like, you want to
be like the lady to see on TV. And I don't know if you've noticed this, but in the past 10 years,
the portrayal of men and women in TV has really changed. Right? Right.
		
01:00:23 --> 01:00:28
			Like 10 years ago, when the supply chain Super Girl as stronger than Superman,
		
01:00:29 --> 01:00:38
			right? And if you notice, this actually is approaching people girl at Providence, Superman. And the
way she talks to him is very condescending, you know?
		
01:00:39 --> 01:00:40
			Yes, chomping.
		
01:00:42 --> 01:01:02
			And now he's seeing the rolling of light. So now Spider Man, the new Spider Man is an idiot, right?
He's a skinny little kid, his girlfriend's taller than him more intelligent than him. There's a lot
of hidden escalation taking place in these ideas. They, you know, like, the woman are no longer
damsel in distress, they need to be saved. They know the ones doing the saving. Now,
		
01:01:03 --> 01:01:16
			this what's their conception of a marriage or relationship between a man and woman look like? It
take the role models on TV, or literally, these manly woman? We have like, no.
		
01:01:18 --> 01:01:19
			Yeah, no, hold on.
		
01:01:21 --> 01:01:43
			I got this theory. This theory, which of us broke into a few brothers about it'd be great to get
your opinion on this, as someone who's learned and martial law in our historically call a form of
the Islamic requalified. So somebody told us, he fought wonders about their job. And you mentioned
sort of guff on Fridays,
		
01:01:44 --> 01:02:04
			the jobs button up, we hope not to be alive during that time, we hope not to be alive. But there's
no doubt things are heading that direction. They have been since his birth was the beginning of the
end of times, his book was the beginning of the end of times, because he's the last prophet now. Um,
so we are approaching the end of times.
		
01:02:05 --> 01:02:06
			So
		
01:02:08 --> 01:02:25
			told us that majority of his followers will be female, but actually a man when he hears about the
general who will try to force his is mothers and wives and sisters, to be in the house always to
that effect, because they will route your comeback and follow him.
		
01:02:27 --> 01:03:05
			During the time of sorts of asylum, this might not might not have made a difference because
generally KANG MIN Reno, or Virgil, Corona and Aneesa, this wasn't groundbreaking, you know, we're
just about to reveal right? Now Nagasaki, even the jungles of the cooperation at times, they still
have the terms of patriarchy, you know, in essence, still, the man is at the top. So this hardiness,
it might not have been of that importance to the sahaba. Because they certainly know even if the job
from the majority of his followers will be willing to still make difference, because we will still
look along, you know, we can still reason with them. As they look into the journal he is, he's not
		
01:03:05 --> 01:03:50
			the real Messiah. But now a smile. circles have turned 3040 years, more women at university now know
it, especially in the West 60% I think medical school is much more well, in medical school, only
engineering remains and engineering and maths and physics remained female dominated. So male
dominated the majority of degrees now are much more female. So more women are getting degrees, equal
women in the workforce, positions of power. And more importantly, feminism, which you mentioned
about today, no tweets, feminism, this seems to be the dominant ideology of today's society. So
remember, John rose from the accursed one. He will obviously being in a society where feminism
		
01:03:50 --> 01:04:34
			because feminism is suddenly reversed by the way, we're gonna stop rave, thriftway, 10th, wave,
continuous wave, whenever you think crumbs, they will still most likely be a feminist society
because I don't think we're going to go backwards to you know, a patriarchy or it's going to be a
matriarchy. So when he calls it will be fan centric society. And this idea then makes more sense,
because the majority of his followers will be female. And the majority of the power will be female
hands verbally, things are growing. Therefore, the sentiment will be pronounced the fitna will be
very, very pronounced majority of the statesman, the the people that move the leader, the majority
		
01:04:34 --> 01:04:44
			of power within that house will be with the females. So when they start following him, the whole
dynamic changes compared to what it would have been very sort of Saddam's time to some accents.
		
01:04:45 --> 01:04:48
			I don't really think I agree 100%, right.
		
01:04:50 --> 01:04:59
			Firstly, when it comes to free, which to my mind, I understand what you're seeing, but I don't think
I agree 100% Right, for two points, two points. Point number one any
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:36
			Heidi's about something that's going to happen in the future. We can never say for sure that the way
we connecting the dots is what how it's going to be. Right? It could be something completely
different from what we think. Right? It could be that this feminism thing ends and 1000 years later,
that job pops up in a completely different world, a completely different society. A completely
different set of reasons, right? Or it could be one. But again, this is speculation about the
future. I don't like to write. That's point number one. Point number two. I don't I know a lot of
Muslims have this idea that we living in the End Times, and The jollies coming soon, is coming soon.
		
01:05:36 --> 01:06:15
			I actually don't agree with this mindset. Right? My perspective is that we don't know when the
world's gonna end. Yeah, put me in 100 years time, in 1000 years time, we could be living in a blip
of time of of history. And it could be within the next 50 years, humanity realizes feminism was a
mistake. And we go back to the natural way of living. It's perfectly possible, right? If you fill up
what happens, that's going to happen, right? Using a philosopher, it's going to be matriarchy, no,
it's a man. Right? So the things will flip around. And then this will just be a footnote in the
history books. That's for like 50 or 60 years in human history. There was this feminism thing,
		
01:06:15 --> 01:06:36
			right? Yes. So exactly. 100% I feel it's possible what you think is possible, but it's also possible
that that's completely unrelated. That's awful. Yeah, exactly. Because you have to view history from
contextually so even this, it is it just it's just a Iran. So for me,
		
01:06:38 --> 01:06:46
			I have a theory of history that this ummah goes through phases, right? We had for about 600 years,
the Arab
		
01:06:47 --> 01:07:05
			elapid you may have in the Bassets. Then we had like 100 year period of devastation, the Mongols the
Crusaders, no Khalifa. Then we had a 600 year period of the Turkish collapse of the ultimates. So
now we're going through 100 year period of devastation and an awfully quick Khalifa.
		
01:07:07 --> 01:07:18
			Now he does he loves to do pop up for another 600 years from a different nation. If he's really,
absolutely, I mentioned 100 years, it'll be exactly 100 years next year.
		
01:07:19 --> 01:07:26
			Only 24 100 is exactly an empire and pops up in our lifetime. And yet we are in a different phase of
		
01:07:28 --> 01:07:40
			absolutely, maybe this feminism was just a temporary fitna. It was a temporary fit and I've just
done a mongrels that will fit in up there with the Kimpton McDonald's and just you know, as you
know,
		
01:07:42 --> 01:08:06
			to be more to the Mattila, right, the mortality light came about the phenomenon of fitna there was
the whole Inquisition, but now they don't exist anymore. They just something you read about in
history books. Yes, exactly. Philosophy and ideology. They're going up the minds of many Muslims
were about 100 years and then he disappeared. Feminism might go to the same cycle.
		
01:08:08 --> 01:08:14
			Yeah, exactly. You know, the white age, etc. We've seen people come and going.
		
01:08:16 --> 01:08:57
			This is this is the Sunnah Allah subhanaw. Taala is having a forum. You know, Empire is coming and
following. Yeah, it's an important many times it's travel received, that any of those that came
before you can only come you know, before you again, because we are living in in the in this
society, in this current status quo, when Never before has there been with you. We mustn't forget
the story of Solomon and Islam in the Quran, where it's actually the head of the states of Shiva was
a female, although she had Malcolm in the so it's happened before where it is a soil as a footnote
in history, these things are tell us is one that Allah says these are tales of the ancients. Right?
		
01:08:57 --> 01:09:18
			They will also be telling you the issues as well, you know, I have mentioned this on my Twitter
yesterday or the day before so many great minds are buried beneath us. We have found this hyper
individualism, like you mentioned at the beginning revealers really our history, we actually just
stay a small, you know, if you look at look at history, human history says otherwise, we are just a
millisecond and that
		
01:09:20 --> 01:09:47
			what we're going through right now, is so unsustainable in the long term, that it's going to die
out. This is not sustainable. Yeah, not getting married. Having children. People are adult adapting
alternative sexualities. None of that is sustainable for humanity of a civilization is going to pop
eventually, right? It's going to implode. So I don't see this as a permanent fitna. I see this as a
face that will pass.
		
01:09:48 --> 01:10:00
			Yeah, exactly. The real person the beautiful thing about Islam is it gives you perspective, we know
how things will end with the with the Salish lamb with the Halawa, when except for Islam gives a
beautiful
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:12
			Throw in a perspective on life events and then and we just have to maintain firm on our deen. And
it's a great way to end this because you know, it's not about history in the coming year it's a
passage the Mongols, the
		
01:10:13 --> 01:11:03
			1924, the Ottoman Empire, etc. How can people find your clothes online and just give a quick 22nd
summary and then the podcast? How can people find it? Or what's it about? Okay, so if you go to my
website, Islamic self help.com, you'll find the course links there. My two most popular courses is
history of Islam, which has over 105 star reviews at the moment over 2000 students, and my latest
one on foundations of a strong marriage. I will be launching one soon on parenting. The Marriage
Course is pretty much a summary of everything you need to know before getting married. It's 20
modules covering everything from what is analysis, the importance of getting married young, the
		
01:11:03 --> 01:11:49
			needs of men, the needs of women, communication, overcoming conflicts, you know, polygamy Misia, all
of that is covered. And the history course which is my most popular course, is the printout
chronologically the history of Islam from the time of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam until modern
times until the formation of Israel covered in 30 videos 30 videos covering 1400 years of history.
The reason I put this course together is I will not find anything in the English language that cover
this as comprehensively right specifically, like the ultimate period, I spent eight hours on the
Ottoman Empire. So my next big task is converting that into a book which will take about two years
		
01:11:49 --> 01:12:04
			inshallah. Hopefully they can publish a book on that topic. But right now if people want to learn
about the history of Islam or proper authentic values according to Quran and Sunnah, head over to
Islamic self help.com And you'll find the links to both courses over there.
		
01:12:06 --> 01:12:24
			Just brilliant. I'll put the link in the bio. It's mainly just for your time so really, really
insightful. I could speak to you for hours if you ever in the UK please do come visit me in
Sheffield. And, you know, just not the last half of your time. I'm thank you so much. Thanks for
being a pleasure I Salaam Alaikum