Ismail Kamdar – Marriage is STARTING UP, not SETTLING DOWN

			One of the topics I've been focusing on a lot recently is the purpose of marriage in Islam. Right?
Because it's linked directly to democracy to Sharia the goals of Islamic law. Well, two of the goals
of Islamic law is the preservation of lineage and the preservation of honor. And this is
accomplished through getting married young. That's how you preserve your image is how you preserve
your dignity. And a lot of people are saying, what's the benefits of marriage? Well, the benefits
are long term, they're not they're not short term. Right? You get married young, you have kids,
guess what, by the age of 4050, you have a huge family that loves you. Right? But you get married
		

			late and you missed that age to have kids. You want to be alone when you are old. Yes.
		

			turn back the clock and entered into Andrew your actions and and to try something different. Right.
So really, it goes back to to the goals of the Chevelle? What does Allah one for us, Allah wants us
to have families, right, the prophets licencia Nikka. Whom is the God is my son, whoever turns away
from my sunnah is not of me to say, I'm never getting married. I don't want to get married. Marriage
is not for me. You literally who this hadith is talking about right? Yes. Government, shouldn't it
you are going against the Sunnah. The prophets also told people in the teenage years, you told them,
oh, young men, whoever amongst you can do so get married, commanded them to get married.
		

			And manage again, people have very westernized ideas of what is managed these think marriage is
settling down. No, marriage is starting life. It's not settling down. Exactly. It's how you start,
like, the beginning, it can be booked a contract, it can literally just be a man, a guy and a girl
live together, they sign the contract to make the relationship and they move in together four or
five years later, you can do that.
		

			Right. But again, we don't have this Islamic understanding of marriage, we have this Christian or
secular understanding of marriage, which is settling down what is settling down, settling down,
where people committed Zina with many people as they wanted, and now they're going to settle on
someone to spend whatever's left of their life. That's not an Islamic concept. We don't separate
out, we start something together, and we grow it together over our lifetime. Yes, exactly. The
settling down concept is very westernized, it's very very westernized. And again, it's a it's an
economic term, which has come about in the last 3040 years to keep the capitalist culture moving. In
		

			Islam in the car, it's simple. It's actually easier to do Nica than it is to buy a house for
instance, to buy a house, you've got to go for contracts and liners Nikka. Two Witnesses already a
it's the job.
		

			You know, the pros are going to acceptance. And you don't even have to have an imam that by the way,
Imam does not have to be there. It has to be two Muslim men have won the father, brother, uncle, and
you can do it go within half an hour. And there's no age limit provided there.
		

			And there's no compulsion that there's clearly exceptions. It's very simple. We have family, right
in my family, we do it. Like in my family. I'll give you one example. One young lady in my family
when she was in the first year of university, she told her father she likes a guy. The next week he
brought the guy to the house spoke to him called the Maulana who performed any kind of house. And
four years later, they moved in together.
		

			And they have three kids together now that they've been married for 15 years. So
		

			that is Parker and also Salah Salem told us about this, you know, and we know now, the harder you
make Nica, the easier sinner becomes and Zina people think is a small sin is the murders in our come
second, it is a human thing. So you longer sin. It's your fingers.
		

			Those are the three
		

			Yeah, exactly. It's a huge sin. We've because only because we're living amongst and I don't know
South Africa, a lot of the cricket sometimes I've got to turn my head away. The women in the cramps
have some laughs It's South Africa. It's particularly in South Africa from all the countries in the
world. I suppose. It's you know, we've got lucky federal Dean, but it's a hot country and you know,
the frickin day. It doesn't make it Hello. Even if everyone was doing it, you start to make it
halal. And this is the wonderful thing about Islam, because that's Sahaba that being a Tabata being
given examples. They went to China and into you know, all the way to Europe as well the frita
		

			residence hall so something died, I don't know Muslim countries, you know, nations. They didn't
indulge him what they did, they still kept the halal halal and haram haram. It is not an excuse for
us. We normalized it now. They say when you get submerged in the water, you become like a duck. But
reading us all we must never sink we must even if the sins are coming to our ears, where we live, we
must not listen because Allah subhanaw taala Sharia is for eternity does not follow. Just the one
generation it is
		

			or paternity and, you know, speaking in Wales,
		

			we've got a group where we, like I said, we introduce a young brothers and sisters with especially
university, you know, we go to universities and say, Look, we speak to the Father sometimes and that
they're often being being an impediment to the nickel process, like oncology. Your daughter's going
to awesome is going to, if you don't say yes to the MCCA, which you're facilitating Allah, they're
going to they're going to do Xena, Xena, would that be on your head as well? Because you, you know
structure the path of Nica. This
		

			is a Hadith where the prophet Islamism said, Any young man who hits puberty, and his parents stop
him from getting married, the father will bear the brunt of the burden of SeaNanners. Well, because
he was an obstacle to this and getting married. That same applies to your daughter. If you are
obstacle between them and halal, you share in the sin of the haram. Absolutely, absolutely. And it's
become so normalized. Now, one day, we're trying to we were trying to educate brothers, I was like,
I was 24
		

			when I got married, 24 and set, so eight months outside of medical school, we straightaway almost
are that having a first child when they're like 29 and when he to this day, I don't know any I think
I know one doctor in 11 years who's done it before me, every single doctor that you have silly or
stupid writing a 35 because in their head, marriage is settling down and like you said, marriage is
not in Islam. It's not marriages is your complete, it will get you to the next level, a woman will
bring your own risk. And even if you are poor, and you know, Allah will provide for you, you still
gotta strive to Tambo, but do not
		

			postpone marriage for wealth. Because you never know a risk could come it could be unlocked during
marriage. And we've seen especially in the desert communities, that man's got to get back house and
he's got to spend so many 1000s of pounds, decentralise. This is an obstacle and this is not from
Islam. Islam is beautiful. Salah Salem costume is porous to hobbies, married, you know, sort of July
be, they would post a hobby who got married. Phyllis Dinakar. A simple Islam is another concept here
that absolutely now in the younger generation, it's only Islamic. And this idea that marriage is
only for the wealthy. Right? The Sahaba, even the poorest of Sahaba. I know, in South Africa, I know
		

			many people who are not doing well financially but they are happily married. They struggling
together for the sake of Allah, they still love each other and care for each other. Right? It's not
just rich people. There's some people who like to be at a certain financial level to get married.
But that's never been what Islam taught. And it's as you said, you know, Allah will enrich you.
Allah will take care of people, it is the test that they're going to go through life with poverty,
that is Allah says for that person. That means they never get married. No, they marry someone who's
from the similar background for them, and they face the test of life together. Right? It does make
		

			it easier to have someone to go through the trials of life together with, right. But I've also seen
this in my own life because I got married at the age of 20. And I became a father age of 21. This
forced me to work harder in my 20s by the outside, because you have in your mind, I am now why am I
now responsible for these people? I cannot afford to miss the boat. I cannot afford to miss rent. I
have to build up my wealth. I have to build up myself financially. It forces you to grow up,
		

			man, because you now have the possibility of other people in your mind. But if you are living alone
in your 30s you know what's the motivation to do well in life