Ismail Kamdar – Keys to Happiness

Ismail Kamdar
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of happiness in modern life, citing examples such as the belief in love and the desire for personal growth. They emphasize the need to work on one's character and manners to achieve better life and achieve desired outcomes. The speakers also stress the importance of finding happiness when dealing with poverty, finding it possible to reach a state of pleasing, and finding one's satisfaction when dealing with social dynamics and personal growth. They provide information on various events and promotions, including a contest for a prize and a contest for a goodie bag.
AI: Transcript ©
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We're now moving on to our next presentation.

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This is Sheikh Ismail Kamda.

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I consider it to be quite, I consider

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us to be quite disadvantaged that so many

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of us don't know about him.

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He's part of our community.

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I've literally watched him grow up as a

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scholar.

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In fact, way back in 2006, when we

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started our organization, Sheikh Ismail had nearly graduated

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from Darul Uloom, and he was one of

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the first people who actually did a course

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for us.

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I still remember, it was in the hereafter.

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It was in Jannah and Jahannam, and thereafter

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he did some courses on Ramadan for us,

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and he's also done a lot of interaction

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with children via Ilam Essay.

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He's absolutely phenomenal.

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His talks are really relevant and really practical.

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If the sisters here are looking for a

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place to go pray Jumu'ah, Sheikh Ismail

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actually delivers the talk at the Islamic Forum

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Jumu'ah facility every Friday.

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He's the regular speaker there.

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That's at the Maryam B Center in Kenilworth

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Road.

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I think after you hear him speak, you'll

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probably want to go.

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I go regularly.

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On Women's Day, there was an absolutely phenomenal

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talk on Maryam Alayhi Salaam and Asi Alayhi

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Salaam, which is available on YouTube.

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So we're gonna give him our attention for

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the next 40 minutes or so, and the

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talk that he's giving today is based on

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a book that he's just written.

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He's written dozens of books.

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This is the latest one.

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It's called 25 Keys to Happiness from the

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Quran and the Sunnah.

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He's giving away a copy of the book,

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but he will give the copy to the

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person who answers the question, and I've told

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him to make the question very difficult.

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So you'll have to listen if you want

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to win a copy of the book.

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Otherwise, you can buy a copy of the

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book for 200 rands in the foyer, insha

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'Allah.

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Bismillah.

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Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen wassalatu wassalamu ala nabiyyil kareem.

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We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala and asking Allah to send His peace

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and blessings upon the final prophet, Muhammad sallallahu

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alayhi wasallam, and all those who follow his

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way with righteousness until the end of time.

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The pursuit of happiness is a...

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It's a myth that we've all been sold.

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The modern world is built on this idea

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that if you do this, this, that, you'll

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be happy.

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And we were given a list of things

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to do.

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We were told that, you know, if you

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just go to school, get a good career,

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you know, and then life will be happy.

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We're told if you focus on you, you'll

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be you, you'll be happy.

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We were told that if you pursue your

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desires and you don't worry what other people

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think, you'll be happy.

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But we were lied to.

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We were lied to in our expectations about

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this world and about the sources of happiness.

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And instead of the world becoming happier, the

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modern world, the liberal world, has brought about

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a new age of depression.

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We now have more depressed people in the

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world than ever before.

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We have now more lonely people in the

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world than ever before.

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30% of people are lonely, including people

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who are married.

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30% of people are lonely.

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This has never been the case in human

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history.

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We now have more fear that people are

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going to take their own lives than ever

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before.

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These things have become realities that we have

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to live with.

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And in all of this, we wonder what

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went wrong.

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What went wrong?

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Because we were told that this new world,

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this new life that the world was bringing

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about over the past 100 years, it was

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going to facilitate human happiness.

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It did not facilitate human happiness.

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There's two ways looking at it.

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Number one is our expectation of the world.

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Number two is our sources of happiness.

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Where are we seeking happiness from?

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So I want to begin with the expectation

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of the world.

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If we go into this world expecting happiness,

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expecting a fairy tale, expecting happily ever after,

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we will always be disappointed.

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Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has told

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us in the Quran that this world is

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a test.

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He will test us with the death of

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loved ones.

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He will test us with fear.

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He will test us with poverty.

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He will test us with a variety of

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things.

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He told us paradise is where there's eternal

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happiness.

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In this world, there's ups and downs.

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There's good times and bad times.

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There are things that you can't avoid.

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If you want to be happy, every moment

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of your life for the rest of your

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existence, you're on the wrong planet.

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That's not going to happen.

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All of our emotions are important.

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It's not just happiness that's important.

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It's important to feel sad.

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It's important to feel stressed at times.

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It's important to work through your emotions.

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And the reality is that for each and

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every one of us, things will happen in

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life that will break us.

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Things will happen in life that are traumatic.

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Tragedies will happen.

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This is life.

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And if we have a realistic expectation of

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life, then we may be able to actually

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cope better.

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And so the first thing that needs to

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change is the way we view the world.

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We shouldn't look at this world expecting only

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good things to come to us because we

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were never promised that.

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We were never promised good things all the

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time.

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What we were promised instead is that if

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we live a life that is pleasing to

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the Creator, then inside of ourselves, we could

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find happiness.

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And in the afterlife, we will have eternal

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happiness.

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And so that takes me to our main

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topic for today, which is the path to

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happiness.

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Where do we find happiness?

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What can we do with our lives to

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experience some joy on the inside?

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I want us to look at the people

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of Palestine, of Gaza.

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We know right now they're going through, you

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know, the most brutal genocide we've ever seen

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in our lifetime.

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And one of the things I've always found

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fascinating about the people of Palestine, even before

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this, over the past few decades, is that

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no matter what their enemies put them through,

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they're always smiling.

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Even now, they're organizing birthday parties, they're celebrating

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Eid.

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They're always smiling in the face of danger.

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And sometimes I think they do it purposely

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to irritate the enemies and show them we'll

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never be defeated.

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But there's a spiritual element to this as

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well.

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There is this connection with God, a purposeful

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life.

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There is an internal contentment and inner peace

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that they have found and they have found

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it through the teachings of Islam.

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And it is these teachings of Islam that

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I want to share with you today that

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I believe are necessary for helping us to

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achieve happiness on the inside, no matter what's

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going on around us in the world.

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Now, in my new book, 25 Keys to

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a Happy Life, I talk about 25 ways

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that you can become more happy.

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We cannot talk about 25 ways in 40

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minutes.

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We wouldn't be able to do justice to

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all of them.

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So I decided to summarize them.

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I'm going to summarize the 25 points into

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5 points.

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So I'm going to summarize them into 5

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broader themes.

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And in the book, we'll break it down

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into a lot more details.

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So I want us to understand that in

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modern life, we tend to seek happiness in

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things that don't make us happy.

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Some people look for happiness in the bottle,

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in alcohol.

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Some people look for happiness in a life

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of fornication.

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Some people think exploring alternative lifestyles will bring

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them happiness.

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But it doesn't work out.

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It never happens.

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Where do we find happiness?

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Going back to what made the people before

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us happy.

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Going back to that which is natural.

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Going back to that which God had revealed.

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And so the first step towards happiness is

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your relationship with your Creator.

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This is number one, above everything else.

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Even if you don't get any of the

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other steps, if you have a good relationship

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with your Creator, no one can take your

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happiness away.

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One of the great scholars of Islam, Ibn

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Taymiyyah, he went through a very difficult life.

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He was always thrown in prison, had to

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fight a lot of battles, had a lot

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of enemies.

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And he used to tell people, My paradise

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is in my heart.

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People can't take it away from me.

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He said, My paradise is in my heart.

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He said, Even if they throw me in

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jail, it gives me private time with my

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Lord to worship my Lord.

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This was his mindset.

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No matter what you do, as long as

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we have Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, I'll

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be happy.

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In the Qur'an we are told, أَلَا

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بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنَّ الْقُلُوبِ It is only in

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remembering God that hearts find happiness, tranquility, inner

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peace.

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And we're also told in the Qur'an

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that don't be like those who have forgotten

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God and in the process they have forgotten

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their own selves.

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And so this tells us that if we

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want to know who we truly are, we

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have to have a close relationship with our

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Creator.

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And so I invite all of us to

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rediscover our relationship with our Creator.

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How well do we know our Creator?

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Have we read the Qur'an with understanding?

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Do we pray five times a day?

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Have we studied the names and attributes of

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our Creator?

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Do we know that our Creator is Ar

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-Rahman, the Most Merciful?

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Do we know what that means for us

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as individuals and as a community?

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Do we know that our Creator is Al

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-Wadud, the Most Loving?

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Do we understand what that means for us

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as individuals and as a community?

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Learn about your Creator and develop a close

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relationship with your Creator.

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And this will power you through anything that

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life throws at you.

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If you are connected to the Most Merciful,

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the Creator of all that exists, then this

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world becomes much more bearable.

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So that's the first step.

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And I talk about this in a bit

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of details in the book.

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One of the things I mentioned that's worth

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bringing up is to have good thoughts about

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your Creator.

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It is narrated that Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala said, I am as My servant thinks

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of Me.

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This is an authentic narration.

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, I am

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as My servant thinks of Me.

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And I found a lot of people who

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are disconnected from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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It's because they don't have the right perception

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of Allah.

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They imagine God to be this angry, vengeful

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God that's gonna punish them as soon as

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they make a mistake.

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That's not Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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Study His names and attributes.

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And have a positive attitude towards Him.

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That Allah is Merciful, Allah is Just, Allah

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is Loving.

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Allah only throws trials at me because He

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knows I can handle those trials.

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You need to have this positive mindset.

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Part of that positive mindset is to look

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for the blessings in the trials.

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So when Allah sends something difficult in your

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life, it's to make you a better person.

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It's to upgrade you, it's to push you

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to the next level.

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It's to make you a better version of

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yourself.

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So you look for the good in the

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hardship.

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Knowing that this is an opportunity Allah has

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given you to unlock a deeper side of

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yourself.

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So the first step towards happiness is your

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relationship with your Creator.

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The second is family.

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And in the book I speak about this

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in multiple chapters.

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I speak about your parents, the importance of

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cherishing every moment with your parents.

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Because we don't know when they will leave.

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I speak about the broader family.

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Have a good relationship with your siblings, your

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nephews, your nieces, your cousins.

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Be a tribe, be a community with your

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family.

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We live in a time where people are

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becoming more and more isolated and individualistic.

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Some people don't even know their own cousins.

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Yet we are supposed to be a collective.

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Families are supposed to be there for each

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other.

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But the two most important aspects of family

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that I speak about in the book as

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sources of happiness are spouses and children.

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Spouses and children.

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Getting married and having children.

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And in recent times some people have stopped

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seeing these things as sources of happiness.

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You know, I speak to some young people

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in the community and I ask them, why

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don't you get married?

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And they tell me, I want to be

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happy.

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And I look at them confused like, what

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do you mean you want to be happy?

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Since when is marriage and happiness the opposite

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of each other?

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It's a strange mindset, right?

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It's the same with children.

00:12:47 --> 00:12:48

You know, you ask some young people, why

00:12:48 --> 00:12:49

don't you have children?

00:12:49 --> 00:12:51

They're like, oh, I want to be free.

00:12:51 --> 00:12:52

There's too much responsibility.

00:12:53 --> 00:12:55

This is a very unnatural mindset.

00:12:56 --> 00:12:57

And if you have it, you need to

00:12:57 --> 00:12:59

change it because this is not how Allah

00:12:59 --> 00:13:00

created us to be.

00:13:01 --> 00:13:03

In the Qur'an we are told about

00:13:03 --> 00:13:06

marriage, that the purpose that Allah created men

00:13:06 --> 00:13:08

and women different from each other to be

00:13:08 --> 00:13:11

there for each other is لِتَسْكُنُواْ عَلَيْهَا to

00:13:11 --> 00:13:13

find peace in each other's company.

00:13:13 --> 00:13:15

You're supposed to be each other's source of

00:13:15 --> 00:13:16

happiness.

00:13:17 --> 00:13:19

And with children, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:13:19 --> 00:13:22

tells us in Surah Al-Kahf that, المال

00:13:22 --> 00:13:26

والبنون زينة الحياة الدنيا Wealth and children are

00:13:26 --> 00:13:27

the beauty of this world.

00:13:28 --> 00:13:30

Nowadays we only see wealth as the beauty

00:13:30 --> 00:13:31

of this world.

00:13:32 --> 00:13:34

But naturally, two things make life beautiful.

00:13:35 --> 00:13:37

If Allah blesses you with wealth, it makes

00:13:37 --> 00:13:37

life beautiful.

00:13:38 --> 00:13:39

If Allah blesses you with children, it also

00:13:39 --> 00:13:40

makes life beautiful.

00:13:40 --> 00:13:41

We know in the Qur'an it is

00:13:41 --> 00:13:44

mentioned that Allah created us to worship Him.

00:13:45 --> 00:13:48

That's our primary purpose, that we become servants

00:13:48 --> 00:13:51

of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that we

00:13:51 --> 00:13:53

live a life of obedience to Allah subhanahu

00:13:53 --> 00:13:53

wa ta'ala.

00:13:54 --> 00:13:56

But the beauty of this is that worship

00:13:56 --> 00:13:59

in Islam is such a broad category that

00:13:59 --> 00:14:01

each of us can find a different place

00:14:01 --> 00:14:01

in the ummah.

00:14:02 --> 00:14:03

Each of us can find a different way

00:14:03 --> 00:14:05

of living a life that is pleasing to

00:14:05 --> 00:14:05

God.

00:14:06 --> 00:14:08

For some people it may mean that they

00:14:08 --> 00:14:09

spend their life teaching Islam.

00:14:09 --> 00:14:12

For others it may mean that they spend

00:14:12 --> 00:14:13

their life serving the community.

00:14:13 --> 00:14:15

For others it may mean that they spend

00:14:15 --> 00:14:17

their life, you know, building strong families.

00:14:18 --> 00:14:19

All of this is worship.

00:14:19 --> 00:14:21

All of it is worship if it is

00:14:21 --> 00:14:22

done for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:14:23 --> 00:14:26

And so living a purposeful life is one

00:14:26 --> 00:14:29

of the most important keys to happiness.

00:14:29 --> 00:14:31

One of the things that really keep you

00:14:31 --> 00:14:33

going when things get difficult.

00:14:37 --> 00:14:38

Most of the other keys to happiness that

00:14:38 --> 00:14:41

I mentioned in the book can fall into

00:14:41 --> 00:14:45

the broad category of personal growth, personal development.

00:14:47 --> 00:14:52

And the overall message that I leave in

00:14:52 --> 00:14:57

these chapters is that many of us don't

00:14:57 --> 00:14:58

live up to our full potential.

00:14:59 --> 00:15:01

We don't put in the work to live

00:15:01 --> 00:15:02

up to our full potential.

00:15:03 --> 00:15:05

And then when we don't live up to

00:15:05 --> 00:15:06

our full potential we start to feel sorry

00:15:06 --> 00:15:07

for ourselves.

00:15:07 --> 00:15:09

We start to feel like we wasted our

00:15:09 --> 00:15:10

lives.

00:15:11 --> 00:15:15

But we can avoid that by continuously working

00:15:15 --> 00:15:17

on becoming better versions of ourselves.

00:15:18 --> 00:15:20

Understand that every single one of us is

00:15:20 --> 00:15:21

a work in progress.

00:15:21 --> 00:15:21

Nobody is perfect.

00:15:22 --> 00:15:23

Nobody is perfect.

00:15:23 --> 00:15:25

Each and every one of us in every

00:15:25 --> 00:15:26

aspect of our life we have flaws.

00:15:26 --> 00:15:28

We have things we can improve in.

00:15:28 --> 00:15:30

We can become better.

00:15:31 --> 00:15:33

Whether it's our spirituality, whether it's our relationship

00:15:33 --> 00:15:36

with God, whether it's our family life, whether

00:15:36 --> 00:15:38

it's our character, whatever it is, we all

00:15:38 --> 00:15:41

have our areas of weakness.

00:15:41 --> 00:15:44

And we all can keep working to become

00:15:44 --> 00:15:46

better and better and better.

00:15:47 --> 00:15:50

You know, there's this false notion that many

00:15:50 --> 00:15:52

of us have that paradise is only for

00:15:52 --> 00:15:53

perfect people.

00:15:54 --> 00:15:59

In reality, paradise is for the imperfect person.

00:16:00 --> 00:16:02

The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said, nobody

00:16:02 --> 00:16:04

gets to paradise because of their deeds.

00:16:05 --> 00:16:07

Nobody gets to paradise because of their deeds.

00:16:08 --> 00:16:10

You only get to paradise because of God's

00:16:10 --> 00:16:10

mercy.

00:16:11 --> 00:16:12

What does this mean?

00:16:12 --> 00:16:14

It means that each and every one of

00:16:14 --> 00:16:15

us has our flaws.

00:16:16 --> 00:16:18

But that shouldn't stop us from trying to

00:16:18 --> 00:16:20

live a life that is pleasing to God,

00:16:20 --> 00:16:21

to trying to be better.

00:16:21 --> 00:16:24

If we are continuously trying to be better,

00:16:25 --> 00:16:27

then Allah will overlook that which is beyond

00:16:27 --> 00:16:28

our control.

00:16:29 --> 00:16:32

That if we try our best, God forgives

00:16:32 --> 00:16:32

the rest.

00:16:33 --> 00:16:35

And so we need to look for ways

00:16:35 --> 00:16:37

to try and become better.

00:16:38 --> 00:16:40

And there's many aspects of our life we

00:16:40 --> 00:16:42

can focus on when we're trying to be

00:16:42 --> 00:16:42

better.

00:16:43 --> 00:16:45

Our character and manners is at the top

00:16:45 --> 00:16:45

of that.

00:16:46 --> 00:16:47

You know, how do we treat people?

00:16:47 --> 00:16:49

How do we interact with people?

00:16:49 --> 00:16:54

What is our way of dealing with other

00:16:54 --> 00:16:54

people?

00:16:54 --> 00:16:57

This is an important subject in Islam.

00:16:57 --> 00:16:59

You know, in Islam, the concept of character

00:16:59 --> 00:17:01

and manners is an entire science.

00:17:02 --> 00:17:05

You can literally find thousand page books just

00:17:05 --> 00:17:05

on character and manners.

00:17:06 --> 00:17:08

That's how important this aspect of Islam is.

00:17:11 --> 00:17:12

And when it comes to character and manners,

00:17:12 --> 00:17:14

there are specific things that I emphasize more

00:17:14 --> 00:17:15

than others.

00:17:15 --> 00:17:17

So for example, the issue of generosity.

00:17:18 --> 00:17:21

This is something highly emphasized in our religion.

00:17:22 --> 00:17:23

That we have generous hearts.

00:17:24 --> 00:17:26

And that we are not selfish and miserly.

00:17:26 --> 00:17:27

And that we genuinely care for others.

00:17:28 --> 00:17:29

Truthfulness and honesty.

00:17:30 --> 00:17:31

This is very important.

00:17:32 --> 00:17:34

If we are honest, we have nothing to

00:17:34 --> 00:17:34

hide.

00:17:34 --> 00:17:36

If we have nothing to hide, we attract

00:17:36 --> 00:17:39

less drama into our life and less problems

00:17:39 --> 00:17:40

into our life.

00:17:41 --> 00:17:43

Being honestly is really the best policy.

00:17:44 --> 00:17:46

We need to work on improving our character.

00:17:46 --> 00:17:48

And what we will find is, as our

00:17:48 --> 00:17:52

character improves, the quality of our life improves.

00:17:52 --> 00:17:56

Someone who is content, someone who is of

00:17:56 --> 00:17:59

good manners, somebody who is honest, somebody who

00:17:59 --> 00:18:01

is generous, or somebody who is sincere, is

00:18:01 --> 00:18:04

in general, going to have more inner peace,

00:18:05 --> 00:18:08

better relationships, and a better standing in their

00:18:08 --> 00:18:10

community than somebody whose life is all about

00:18:10 --> 00:18:13

just themselves and getting whatever they want at

00:18:13 --> 00:18:14

the expense of others.

00:18:15 --> 00:18:18

And so we need to work on self

00:18:18 --> 00:18:18

-improvement.

00:18:18 --> 00:18:21

There is a concept in Islam that's often

00:18:22 --> 00:18:24

not even known about in our community.

00:18:24 --> 00:18:25

It's called Ihsan.

00:18:26 --> 00:18:26

Right?

00:18:26 --> 00:18:27

Raise your hands if you heard of the

00:18:27 --> 00:18:28

concept of Ihsan.

00:18:31 --> 00:18:32

Not even half.

00:18:33 --> 00:18:33

Right?

00:18:33 --> 00:18:36

The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said, Allah

00:18:36 --> 00:18:40

loves that His servant, whatever they do, they

00:18:40 --> 00:18:41

do it with Ihsan.

00:18:42 --> 00:18:43

So what is Ihsan?

00:18:44 --> 00:18:46

Ihsan means perfection.

00:18:47 --> 00:18:50

Ihsan means striving for excellence.

00:18:50 --> 00:18:53

Ihsan means trying to be the absolute best

00:18:53 --> 00:18:54

in the world at what you do.

00:18:56 --> 00:18:57

That's what Ihsan means.

00:18:57 --> 00:18:59

That in everything you do, you try to

00:18:59 --> 00:19:00

be the best.

00:19:00 --> 00:19:02

To such an extent, one of my teachers

00:19:02 --> 00:19:03

told me when he was teaching me this

00:19:03 --> 00:19:05

concept, he said, even when you're washing the

00:19:05 --> 00:19:08

dishes, even when you're washing the dishes, you

00:19:08 --> 00:19:10

do a better job than anybody else.

00:19:10 --> 00:19:10

That's Ihsan.

00:19:10 --> 00:19:12

You don't let any task be too mundane.

00:19:13 --> 00:19:14

You don't look at any task as, no,

00:19:14 --> 00:19:15

I'm just gonna do a, you know, a

00:19:15 --> 00:19:16

rush job of this.

00:19:17 --> 00:19:19

Every aspect of your life, you aim to

00:19:19 --> 00:19:21

be the best in the world at what

00:19:21 --> 00:19:21

you do.

00:19:22 --> 00:19:24

This concept is lost in our time.

00:19:25 --> 00:19:28

We don't really have this concept today of

00:19:28 --> 00:19:30

trying to be the best in everything that

00:19:30 --> 00:19:31

we do.

00:19:31 --> 00:19:32

And you know, when the ummah had this,

00:19:33 --> 00:19:34

we were the world superpower.

00:19:35 --> 00:19:37

We were the greatest empire in the world.

00:19:37 --> 00:19:40

When you go back to ancient Islamic Spain,

00:19:41 --> 00:19:43

when the Muslims ruled over Spain, it was

00:19:43 --> 00:19:44

a world superpower.

00:19:44 --> 00:19:45

And you look at the kind of people

00:19:45 --> 00:19:47

it produced, the greatest scientists in the world,

00:19:47 --> 00:19:49

the greatest philosophers in the world, the greatest

00:19:49 --> 00:19:51

mathematicians in the world.

00:19:51 --> 00:19:53

People were the best in the world at

00:19:53 --> 00:19:53

what they did.

00:19:54 --> 00:19:56

When this concept was part of the culture.

00:19:56 --> 00:19:58

We need to revive this again.

00:19:58 --> 00:19:59

And it starts with us.

00:20:00 --> 00:20:01

We shouldn't just sit back and say, I

00:20:01 --> 00:20:02

am who I am.

00:20:03 --> 00:20:04

And you know, this is a modern day

00:20:04 --> 00:20:06

concept that no one can tell me what

00:20:06 --> 00:20:06

to do.

00:20:07 --> 00:20:08

Nobody can tell me to improve.

00:20:09 --> 00:20:10

You know, this is not from Islam.

00:20:10 --> 00:20:12

In Islam instead, Allah tells us in the

00:20:12 --> 00:20:16

Quran that the believing men and women are

00:20:16 --> 00:20:17

allies to each other.

00:20:17 --> 00:20:19

Because they command what is good and they

00:20:19 --> 00:20:20

forbid what is evil.

00:20:20 --> 00:20:22

Meaning we are supposed to be helping each

00:20:22 --> 00:20:22

other improve.

00:20:23 --> 00:20:24

We are supposed to be telling each other,

00:20:24 --> 00:20:25

listen, you can be better.

00:20:25 --> 00:20:26

You can do better.

00:20:27 --> 00:20:29

This is not the quality that we expect

00:20:29 --> 00:20:30

from you.

00:20:30 --> 00:20:31

We expect you to be better.

00:20:31 --> 00:20:33

We should be helping each other grow into

00:20:33 --> 00:20:35

the best versions of ourselves.

00:20:38 --> 00:20:41

The concept of happiness.

00:20:42 --> 00:20:44

It's a strange concept, right?

00:20:44 --> 00:20:47

Because on one hand, it's something we all

00:20:47 --> 00:20:48

seek.

00:20:48 --> 00:20:51

On the other hand, we all have to

00:20:51 --> 00:20:54

come to terms with the fact that you're

00:20:54 --> 00:20:56

not always going to be happy.

00:20:56 --> 00:20:59

In fact, it would be strange if you're

00:20:59 --> 00:21:00

always happy.

00:21:00 --> 00:21:03

Like, if your loved one passes away and

00:21:03 --> 00:21:05

you're happy, I'll look at you suspiciously.

00:21:05 --> 00:21:06

What's going on?

00:21:06 --> 00:21:08

Why are you happy that the person died?

00:21:08 --> 00:21:08

Right?

00:21:09 --> 00:21:10

You're not supposed to be happy all the

00:21:10 --> 00:21:10

time.

00:21:11 --> 00:21:12

Happiness is fleeting.

00:21:12 --> 00:21:13

But so is sadness.

00:21:15 --> 00:21:17

But if we live a life that's pleasing

00:21:17 --> 00:21:21

to God, if we build strong families, if

00:21:21 --> 00:21:25

we are important and involved in our communities,

00:21:25 --> 00:21:27

if we are people who are trying our

00:21:27 --> 00:21:30

best to help others, to be part of

00:21:30 --> 00:21:33

the community, to give back to society, if

00:21:33 --> 00:21:36

we are continuously trying to be better versions

00:21:36 --> 00:21:39

of ourselves in everything that we do, and

00:21:39 --> 00:21:42

if we live purposeful lives, if we have

00:21:42 --> 00:21:45

something that we are working towards, some goal

00:21:45 --> 00:21:47

that's greater than ourselves, that's bigger than ourselves,

00:21:48 --> 00:21:53

then the general norm, the default position of

00:21:53 --> 00:21:56

what we find ourselves in should be a

00:21:56 --> 00:22:00

state of ikhminan, of inner peace, of contentment,

00:22:01 --> 00:22:02

of internal happiness.

00:22:03 --> 00:22:06

In the Qur'an, Allah subhanahu wa ta

00:22:06 --> 00:22:08

'ala tells us that souls are of three

00:22:08 --> 00:22:08

types.

00:22:09 --> 00:22:10

Our souls are of three types.

00:22:11 --> 00:22:15

The lowest level of the soul is أَمَّا

00:22:15 --> 00:22:18

رَبِّسُوا It wants to do evil, right?

00:22:19 --> 00:22:22

Some people are such that all they see

00:22:22 --> 00:22:22

is what they want.

00:22:23 --> 00:22:25

They are enslaved to their lustful desires.

00:22:25 --> 00:22:26

That's the lowest level.

00:22:27 --> 00:22:28

I'm sure we are all above that level

00:22:28 --> 00:22:29

inshallah.

00:22:30 --> 00:22:31

The second level which is the average level

00:22:31 --> 00:22:33

of most people who are trying their best

00:22:33 --> 00:22:37

to please God is النَفْسُ اللَّوَّامَة A soul

00:22:37 --> 00:22:39

that is guilty.

00:22:39 --> 00:22:40

A soul that feels guilty.

00:22:40 --> 00:22:41

What does this mean?

00:22:41 --> 00:22:43

It means that you're trying to be good

00:22:43 --> 00:22:44

and sometimes you mess up and you feel

00:22:44 --> 00:22:45

guilty that you messed up.

00:22:46 --> 00:22:47

And this is the state of most souls.

00:22:47 --> 00:22:49

This is what most people are like, right?

00:22:50 --> 00:22:52

And this is really where humans in general

00:22:52 --> 00:22:53

are.

00:22:53 --> 00:22:55

That we are trying to be good.

00:22:55 --> 00:22:56

We're trying to do our best.

00:22:56 --> 00:23:00

But internally, there is this conflict because there

00:23:00 --> 00:23:02

is this bad side of us that we're

00:23:02 --> 00:23:03

trying to keep under control.

00:23:04 --> 00:23:06

But then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells

00:23:06 --> 00:23:08

us in Surah Fajr about the highest level

00:23:08 --> 00:23:09

of the soul.

00:23:10 --> 00:23:12

The level that we should aspire towards.

00:23:13 --> 00:23:18

And that is نَفْسُ الْمُطْمَئِنَّ A soul that

00:23:18 --> 00:23:20

is in a state of inner peace and

00:23:20 --> 00:23:20

happiness.

00:23:21 --> 00:23:23

And Allah describes the soul as being so

00:23:23 --> 00:23:25

content, so happy, so in a state of

00:23:25 --> 00:23:30

peace, that when it dies, it dies happily.

00:23:32 --> 00:23:34

This is a beautiful thing about Islam.

00:23:36 --> 00:23:37

One of the things that scares us and

00:23:37 --> 00:23:39

depresses us the most is the concept of

00:23:39 --> 00:23:40

death, right?

00:23:40 --> 00:23:42

We're all afraid of our own death that

00:23:42 --> 00:23:43

one day we're gonna go.

00:23:43 --> 00:23:45

But Islam teaches us that we live a

00:23:45 --> 00:23:46

life that's pleasing to God.

00:23:47 --> 00:23:50

When we are dying, the angels will come

00:23:50 --> 00:23:52

and comfort us and tell us, don't be

00:23:52 --> 00:23:53

scared, don't be sad.

00:23:54 --> 00:23:58

And you'll be told, يَا أِيَّتَ النَّفْسُ الْمُطْمَئِنَّ

00:23:58 --> 00:24:00

O that soul that has achieved this inner

00:24:00 --> 00:24:06

happiness, return to your Lord رَضِيَةً مَرْضِيَةً Return

00:24:06 --> 00:24:08

to your Lord in a state that you

00:24:08 --> 00:24:10

are happy and your Lord is happy.

00:24:11 --> 00:24:13

So what this teaches us is number one,

00:24:14 --> 00:24:16

our happiness is linked to Allah's happiness.

00:24:17 --> 00:24:20

And number two, it is possible to reach

00:24:20 --> 00:24:22

a state of internal happiness that is so

00:24:22 --> 00:24:25

strong that you literally die happy.

00:24:26 --> 00:24:27

And again, you look at the martyrs of

00:24:27 --> 00:24:28

Gaza.

00:24:28 --> 00:24:30

How many times you see smiles on their

00:24:30 --> 00:24:30

faces?

00:24:31 --> 00:24:33

You know, these are people who have died

00:24:33 --> 00:24:35

in the most difficult of situations, but when

00:24:35 --> 00:24:37

they are being buried, their face is full

00:24:37 --> 00:24:39

of light and there's a big smile on

00:24:39 --> 00:24:41

their face that they left this world more

00:24:41 --> 00:24:43

happy than any of us have experienced in

00:24:43 --> 00:24:44

this world.

00:24:44 --> 00:24:46

And that takes me to the final source

00:24:46 --> 00:24:46

of happiness.

00:24:48 --> 00:24:50

Understand, in this world, you're never going to

00:24:50 --> 00:24:51

be happy all the time.

00:24:51 --> 00:24:53

Understand, in this world, there's ups and downs,

00:24:53 --> 00:24:54

right?

00:24:54 --> 00:24:57

So, is there a place, is there a

00:24:57 --> 00:24:58

place where we get eternal happiness?

00:24:59 --> 00:25:00

Yes, paradise.

00:25:01 --> 00:25:03

Paradise is the place of eternal happiness.

00:25:04 --> 00:25:05

That's the happiness we should seek.

00:25:06 --> 00:25:07

You see, in this world, not everything is

00:25:07 --> 00:25:08

gonna go your way.

00:25:09 --> 00:25:11

There'll be things that you just have to

00:25:11 --> 00:25:11

live with.

00:25:12 --> 00:25:14

There'll be things that, you know, they're gonna

00:25:14 --> 00:25:15

change you.

00:25:15 --> 00:25:17

There are things that are beyond your control.

00:25:19 --> 00:25:21

And we will be sad, we will go

00:25:21 --> 00:25:22

through ups and downs.

00:25:23 --> 00:25:24

By the end of the day, if we

00:25:24 --> 00:25:26

get to Jannah, if we get to paradise,

00:25:27 --> 00:25:28

then that's it, alhamdulillah.

00:25:28 --> 00:25:30

After that, eternal happiness.

00:25:32 --> 00:25:32

Eternal happiness.

00:25:33 --> 00:25:35

And that's the happiness we should be seeking.

00:25:36 --> 00:25:39

Not the fleeting happiness of this world, but

00:25:39 --> 00:25:42

the eternal happiness in the company of Allah

00:25:42 --> 00:25:43

subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:25:45 --> 00:25:47

There's a story in the Qur'an, I

00:25:47 --> 00:25:49

mentioned it a few weeks ago in Jummah,

00:25:50 --> 00:25:51

about the wife of the pharaoh.

00:25:53 --> 00:25:54

The wife of the pharaoh.

00:25:54 --> 00:26:04

Pharaoh, at

00:26:04 --> 00:26:18

the time of Moses, is considered his own

00:26:18 --> 00:26:24

wife, except the message of Moses.

00:27:05 --> 00:27:06

He couldn't break her, right?

00:27:10 --> 00:27:14

She looks up to the sky, and she

00:27:14 --> 00:27:16

prays for me a house next to you

00:27:16 --> 00:27:16

in paradise.

00:27:17 --> 00:27:19

She stopped caring about this world.

00:27:21 --> 00:27:23

She's focusing on Jannah, on paradise.

00:27:24 --> 00:27:26

It doesn't matter what her husband does to

00:27:26 --> 00:27:28

her, it doesn't matter what the pharaoh does

00:27:28 --> 00:27:28

to her.

00:27:28 --> 00:27:30

If she gets a house next to God,

00:27:30 --> 00:27:33

near God in paradise, that's all she needs.

00:27:34 --> 00:27:37

And some of the narrators, they say, that

00:27:37 --> 00:27:39

when she looked up to the heavens, and

00:27:39 --> 00:27:43

she made this prayer, Allah showed her a

00:27:43 --> 00:27:44

house in paradise.

00:27:44 --> 00:27:47

And she began to smile, and she began

00:27:47 --> 00:27:47

to laugh.

00:27:48 --> 00:27:50

And this irritated the pharaoh even more, and

00:27:50 --> 00:27:50

he killed her.

00:27:51 --> 00:27:53

But she won and he lost.

00:27:54 --> 00:27:57

Because the pharaoh is in the hellfire, while

00:27:57 --> 00:28:00

his wife is not just in paradise, she

00:28:00 --> 00:28:02

has a house near God in the highest

00:28:02 --> 00:28:03

levels of paradise.

00:28:06 --> 00:29:34

That is what we ask when

00:29:34 --> 00:29:34

you are praying.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:39

When we do this, we will have a

00:29:39 --> 00:29:41

stronger relationship with our Creator.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:43

And in that relationship, we will find inner

00:29:43 --> 00:29:44

peace.

00:29:44 --> 00:29:48

In that relationship, we will find contentment.

00:29:48 --> 00:29:53

At the same time, in this world, try

00:29:53 --> 00:29:54

to build strong families.

00:29:54 --> 00:29:56

Try to build big families.

00:29:56 --> 00:29:59

Try to maintain family ties with as many

00:29:59 --> 00:30:00

members of your family as possible.

00:30:02 --> 00:30:04

Be a part of your community.

00:30:04 --> 00:30:07

Be the kind of person who is of

00:30:07 --> 00:30:08

benefit to the community.

00:30:09 --> 00:30:12

And make sure that you are not someone

00:30:12 --> 00:30:14

who is selfish and only focused on yourself.

00:30:16 --> 00:30:18

Number four, find your purpose.

00:30:19 --> 00:30:19

It may take a while.

00:30:20 --> 00:30:22

You may need to do some soul-searching.

00:30:23 --> 00:30:25

You may need to figure out what you're

00:30:25 --> 00:30:26

good at, what you're passionate about.

00:30:27 --> 00:30:28

You may need to try a few different

00:30:28 --> 00:30:28

things.

00:30:29 --> 00:30:31

But eventually, something will click.

00:30:32 --> 00:30:34

Something will come about in your life that

00:30:34 --> 00:30:36

you will realize, this is what God created

00:30:36 --> 00:30:36

me to do.

00:30:37 --> 00:30:40

And when you find that, that keeps you

00:30:40 --> 00:30:40

going.

00:30:40 --> 00:30:41

That purpose keeps you going.

00:30:42 --> 00:30:46

And finally, keep working to be the best

00:30:46 --> 00:30:49

version of yourself that you can be.

00:30:49 --> 00:30:50

Never stop growing.

00:30:50 --> 00:30:52

Never stop improving.

00:30:52 --> 00:30:55

Never stop pushing yourself to become the absolute

00:30:55 --> 00:30:56

best version of yourself.

00:30:56 --> 00:30:57

There's always room for growth.

00:30:58 --> 00:30:59

There's always room for improvement.

00:30:59 --> 00:31:00

So never stop growing.

00:31:01 --> 00:31:03

And I firmly believe if we work on

00:31:03 --> 00:31:06

these things, if we prioritize these things, then

00:31:06 --> 00:31:09

our general state would be one of happiness.

00:31:09 --> 00:31:11

And even when we fall into sadness, even

00:31:11 --> 00:31:13

when we fall into hard times, we can

00:31:13 --> 00:31:16

find our way back quickly if we focus

00:31:16 --> 00:31:16

on these things.

00:31:17 --> 00:31:19

Thank you for your time and your attention.

00:31:19 --> 00:31:22

Jazakallah khairan wa akhira dawana and alhamdulillahi rabbil

00:31:22 --> 00:31:22

alameen.

00:31:29 --> 00:31:33

Jazakallah khairan Sheikh Ismail for that very inspirational

00:31:33 --> 00:31:33

message.

00:31:34 --> 00:31:35

There's a matter of the book to give

00:31:35 --> 00:31:36

away.

00:31:36 --> 00:31:38

Do you have a question or am I

00:31:38 --> 00:31:39

supposed to ask the question?

00:31:40 --> 00:31:40

For the book?

00:31:41 --> 00:31:41

Yes.

00:31:41 --> 00:31:42

Yes.

00:31:42 --> 00:31:43

Okay.

00:31:43 --> 00:31:43

Okay, wait.

00:31:43 --> 00:31:45

I think you need to speak into the

00:31:45 --> 00:31:46

mic because maybe I can't hear you and

00:31:46 --> 00:31:47

everybody else can hear you.

00:31:48 --> 00:31:49

Girls, you need to get up and check

00:31:49 --> 00:31:51

who wants to answer the question.

00:31:54 --> 00:31:55

Should we select the person first to ask

00:31:55 --> 00:31:56

the question first?

00:31:57 --> 00:31:59

Let me ask the question.

00:31:59 --> 00:31:59

Okay.

00:32:01 --> 00:32:01

Right.

00:32:01 --> 00:32:06

So, I mentioned that in the Quran, Allah

00:32:06 --> 00:32:08

talks about children being the beauty of this

00:32:08 --> 00:32:09

world.

00:32:10 --> 00:32:10

Which surah?

00:32:12 --> 00:32:15

In which surah does Allah talk about children

00:32:15 --> 00:32:16

being the beauty of this world?

00:32:16 --> 00:32:19

Whoever gets the answer right, gets a copy

00:32:19 --> 00:32:19

of the book.

00:32:19 --> 00:32:20

Don't Google it.

00:32:20 --> 00:32:21

Don't take out your phones.

00:32:21 --> 00:32:22

Don't look at your phones.

00:32:22 --> 00:32:24

Mulana Zakaria can't answer, right?

00:32:25 --> 00:32:27

Mulana Zakaria is not eligible to take part.

00:32:27 --> 00:32:29

Any alims or alimahs can't answer.

00:32:31 --> 00:32:32

Okay, Nawal has already found the person who

00:32:32 --> 00:32:33

raised their hand first.

00:32:36 --> 00:32:37

Nawal is going to get ready with the

00:32:37 --> 00:32:38

book.

00:32:39 --> 00:32:39

Assalamualaikum.

00:32:40 --> 00:32:41

It's surah Kaaf.

00:32:41 --> 00:32:43

Surah Kaaf, yes, that's correct.

00:32:44 --> 00:32:48

By the way, surah Kaaf is a very

00:32:48 --> 00:32:49

important surah.

00:32:49 --> 00:32:51

It's supposed to be recited every Friday.

00:32:52 --> 00:32:54

So, maybe this upcoming Friday, recite it and

00:32:54 --> 00:32:55

read through its meaning.

00:32:55 --> 00:32:56

It's very, very powerful.

00:32:56 --> 00:33:00

Very, very powerful surah that gives you guidance

00:33:00 --> 00:33:02

for life, for every aspect of life.

00:33:02 --> 00:33:03

Well worth reading.

00:33:03 --> 00:33:06

Okay, we have a comment from the same

00:33:06 --> 00:33:07

viewer who was watching earlier, who is not

00:33:07 --> 00:33:09

Muslim, in Freiburg.

00:33:09 --> 00:33:11

He says, teaching is very inspirational.

00:33:12 --> 00:33:14

It motivates, it gives insight to love and

00:33:14 --> 00:33:16

be humble and encourages us to have peace

00:33:16 --> 00:33:18

within ourselves and give respect to all.

00:33:19 --> 00:33:21

I love watching and listening to these words

00:33:21 --> 00:33:21

of encouragement.

00:33:22 --> 00:33:24

And he would like to know if recordings

00:33:24 --> 00:33:26

of these sessions would be available to watch

00:33:26 --> 00:33:26

later.

00:33:26 --> 00:33:27

Yes, they actually will.

00:33:28 --> 00:33:31

Hilal TV usually uploads them onto YouTube and

00:33:31 --> 00:33:32

you can watch them later.

00:33:32 --> 00:33:34

And they also rebroadcast the entire event.

00:33:34 --> 00:33:36

So, you can just keep in touch with

00:33:36 --> 00:33:37

them to see when they'll be doing that.

00:33:38 --> 00:33:39

Okay, there's another question.

00:33:39 --> 00:33:41

How does one who live in poverty and

00:33:41 --> 00:33:44

struggle every day survive and find happiness?

00:33:47 --> 00:33:48

I didn't hear the question.

00:33:48 --> 00:33:52

How does one who lives in poverty find

00:33:52 --> 00:33:52

happiness?

00:33:53 --> 00:33:53

Poverty?

00:33:53 --> 00:33:54

Poverty, yes.

00:33:54 --> 00:33:55

So, how do you find happiness if you

00:33:55 --> 00:33:57

are in poverty?

00:33:57 --> 00:33:57

Poverty, yes.

00:33:58 --> 00:34:00

That's an important question, right?

00:34:01 --> 00:34:02

So, ladies, can we...

00:34:02 --> 00:34:03

Wait one second before you start.

00:34:03 --> 00:34:04

Can everybody just settle down?

00:34:05 --> 00:34:06

We are going to be having a lunch

00:34:06 --> 00:34:07

break shortly.

00:34:07 --> 00:34:09

Let's just get through the Q&A and

00:34:09 --> 00:34:11

then, inshallah, we'll break for lunch.

00:34:12 --> 00:34:13

Okay, so the question was like, if you're

00:34:13 --> 00:34:16

dealing with poverty, if you don't have wealth

00:34:16 --> 00:34:18

or resources, how do you find happiness?

00:34:19 --> 00:34:20

You know what's strange?

00:34:20 --> 00:34:22

The happiest people I know don't have money.

00:34:22 --> 00:34:25

Like, literally, some of the nicest, happiest, most

00:34:25 --> 00:34:27

friendly people I deal with on a daily

00:34:27 --> 00:34:31

basis are people who aren't doing well financially.

00:34:32 --> 00:34:33

Yet, somehow, they're able to find happiness.

00:34:35 --> 00:34:36

And I think one of the ways they

00:34:36 --> 00:34:38

do is they focus on all these other

00:34:38 --> 00:34:39

things, right?

00:34:39 --> 00:34:42

If they have a relationship with God, they

00:34:42 --> 00:34:43

have families.

00:34:43 --> 00:34:44

And for some reason, I find a lot

00:34:44 --> 00:34:47

of poorer families are happier than many wealthy

00:34:47 --> 00:34:48

families for some reason.

00:34:48 --> 00:34:48

I'm not sure why.

00:34:50 --> 00:34:51

You know, you have family.

00:34:52 --> 00:34:54

You're helping others in whatever way you can.

00:34:55 --> 00:34:57

And you have a purpose for life.

00:34:57 --> 00:35:00

Then, you could get through poverty, inshallah.

00:35:02 --> 00:35:04

But, on top of that, in the book,

00:35:04 --> 00:35:08

I actually have a chapter on duas for

00:35:08 --> 00:35:10

protection from poverty, right?

00:35:10 --> 00:35:13

In the book, 25 Keys to a Happy

00:35:13 --> 00:35:14

Life, and also in the other book they

00:35:14 --> 00:35:16

gave away, a dua away.

00:35:16 --> 00:35:18

Both of these books, there is a chapter

00:35:18 --> 00:35:21

on duas for protection from poverty.

00:35:21 --> 00:35:25

The Prophet s.a.w., he taught us

00:35:25 --> 00:35:28

to make these prayers every day.

00:35:28 --> 00:35:30

One of those prayers is, Oh Allah, I

00:35:30 --> 00:35:32

seek your protection from poverty.

00:35:33 --> 00:35:33

Right?

00:35:33 --> 00:35:35

I seek your protection from poverty.

00:35:35 --> 00:35:39

So, I would highly recommend that we learn

00:35:39 --> 00:35:41

these prayers and we start making them every

00:35:41 --> 00:35:41

day.

00:35:42 --> 00:35:44

The one that's closest to my heart that

00:35:44 --> 00:35:46

I like to make every day is, اللهم

00:35:46 --> 00:35:52

مقفني بحلالك أنحرامك وأغنني بفضلك أمّن سواك Which

00:35:52 --> 00:35:56

translates as, Oh Allah, make the halal sufficient

00:35:56 --> 00:35:58

for me, so I'm not tempted towards haram.

00:35:59 --> 00:36:02

And make me independent of everybody besides you.

00:36:02 --> 00:36:03

It's a very beautiful dua.

00:36:03 --> 00:36:06

Oh Allah, make me independent of everybody besides

00:36:06 --> 00:36:07

you.

00:36:07 --> 00:36:09

This is my favorite dua to make when

00:36:09 --> 00:36:10

it comes to dealing with poverty.

00:36:10 --> 00:36:13

I highly recommend memorizing it, reciting it daily.

00:36:13 --> 00:36:17

And also understand that in this world, each

00:36:17 --> 00:36:19

person's test is different.

00:36:19 --> 00:36:22

If Allah is testing someone with poverty, then

00:36:22 --> 00:36:24

just like with the test of losing a

00:36:24 --> 00:36:26

family member or any other test, the way

00:36:26 --> 00:36:28

forward is with sabr, with patience, and with

00:36:28 --> 00:36:31

gratitude, focusing on the good things that you

00:36:31 --> 00:36:32

have as well.

00:36:32 --> 00:36:33

And Allah will get you through that inshallah.

00:36:34 --> 00:36:35

Okay, so this dua is not in the

00:36:35 --> 00:36:37

book that we've given you.

00:36:37 --> 00:36:38

It's not in that book.

00:36:38 --> 00:36:39

I think I know the book pretty well.

00:36:39 --> 00:36:40

But it is in the book that Sheikh

00:36:40 --> 00:36:41

Ismail has written.

00:36:41 --> 00:36:43

Those books are available for sale outside.

00:36:43 --> 00:36:45

They're usually 250 rands.

00:36:45 --> 00:36:47

They're selling for 200 rands today.

00:36:47 --> 00:36:49

We only have 35 copies.

00:36:49 --> 00:36:50

If you can't get a copy here, it's

00:36:50 --> 00:36:52

available online at Betul Hikmah.

00:36:52 --> 00:36:55

It's also available at Betul Hikmah, which is

00:36:55 --> 00:36:56

at the Maryam B Center, right?

00:36:57 --> 00:36:58

That's number one.

00:36:59 --> 00:37:01

Also, we'll take that particular dua and we'll

00:37:01 --> 00:37:03

post it on the attendees group inshallah.

00:37:03 --> 00:37:04

There's just a comment.

00:37:04 --> 00:37:06

Jazakallah for an uplifting and inspiring talk on

00:37:06 --> 00:37:07

happiness.

00:37:07 --> 00:37:09

This has given me so much hope that

00:37:09 --> 00:37:11

I can focus on the changes that I

00:37:11 --> 00:37:13

can make to live a life of purpose.

00:37:14 --> 00:37:14

Jazakallah.

00:37:14 --> 00:37:16

Somebody asked a very pertinent question.

00:37:16 --> 00:37:18

How do you deal with the fact that

00:37:18 --> 00:37:21

social media literally bombards you from every direction?

00:37:21 --> 00:37:24

It's very tempting and it detracts you from

00:37:24 --> 00:37:25

actually finding a purpose.

00:37:26 --> 00:37:26

You know, it's interesting.

00:37:27 --> 00:37:28

On Monday this week, I deleted all my

00:37:28 --> 00:37:29

social media.

00:37:30 --> 00:37:30

Sorry?

00:37:30 --> 00:37:32

On Monday this week, I actually deleted all

00:37:32 --> 00:37:33

my social media.

00:37:33 --> 00:37:35

You deleted all your social media?

00:37:35 --> 00:37:35

All my social media.

00:37:35 --> 00:37:37

For this exact same reason.

00:37:37 --> 00:37:39

So, I actually wanted to do a segment

00:37:39 --> 00:37:42

on social media in this presentation for...

00:37:42 --> 00:37:43

Thanks for bringing up the question.

00:37:44 --> 00:37:46

I, for the past five years, I've had

00:37:46 --> 00:37:49

this internal struggle about whether I should be

00:37:49 --> 00:37:53

on social media or not because, to be

00:37:53 --> 00:37:55

honest, on one hand, social media makes me

00:37:55 --> 00:37:56

money, right?

00:37:56 --> 00:37:58

I have an online business and it makes

00:37:58 --> 00:37:58

me money.

00:37:59 --> 00:38:00

On the other hand, it is the most

00:38:00 --> 00:38:02

toxic environment I've ever seen.

00:38:02 --> 00:38:05

There's just every type of toxicity online.

00:38:05 --> 00:38:08

There's like people boasting about their travels and

00:38:08 --> 00:38:08

their marriages.

00:38:09 --> 00:38:11

People who pick on you for anything you

00:38:11 --> 00:38:12

say.

00:38:12 --> 00:38:14

Like, you can even say I like waffles

00:38:14 --> 00:38:15

and it'll be someone who'd be calling you

00:38:15 --> 00:38:16

a kafir for it.

00:38:16 --> 00:38:17

Or, it's just...

00:38:17 --> 00:38:18

It's crazy, right?

00:38:18 --> 00:38:19

The way social media is.

00:38:20 --> 00:38:22

It's a very toxic environment and it takes

00:38:22 --> 00:38:24

its toll on one's mental health.

00:38:25 --> 00:38:27

So, I always tell people, if I was

00:38:27 --> 00:38:29

allowed to, I would have made it haram.

00:38:30 --> 00:38:32

Because it's not natural that we are that

00:38:32 --> 00:38:35

connected with the broader world all the time.

00:38:36 --> 00:38:38

So, my advice to people is this, right,

00:38:38 --> 00:38:39

when it comes to social media.

00:38:40 --> 00:38:42

Weigh the pros and cons every week.

00:38:43 --> 00:38:45

If you find yourself at a point in

00:38:45 --> 00:38:48

your life that social media is harming you

00:38:48 --> 00:38:50

more than it's benefiting you, delete it.

00:38:51 --> 00:38:51

Delete it.

00:38:51 --> 00:38:52

You don't need it.

00:38:53 --> 00:38:53

Right?

00:38:53 --> 00:38:56

There are very few benefits and there are

00:38:56 --> 00:38:56

many harms.

00:38:57 --> 00:38:58

And if you can't delete it, cut down.

00:38:58 --> 00:39:00

So, what I did over the past five

00:39:00 --> 00:39:01

years is I actually cut down on my

00:39:01 --> 00:39:03

social media step by step.

00:39:03 --> 00:39:04

First thing I did is I got rid

00:39:04 --> 00:39:07

of notifications from my phone five years ago.

00:39:07 --> 00:39:07

Right?

00:39:07 --> 00:39:09

I don't get any notification from social media.

00:39:10 --> 00:39:12

Then what I did after that is I

00:39:12 --> 00:39:13

reduced my apps to just two.

00:39:14 --> 00:39:15

So, when I said I deleted social media

00:39:15 --> 00:39:17

this week, I only had two apps on

00:39:17 --> 00:39:18

my phone to delete.

00:39:18 --> 00:39:19

Twitter and Instagram.

00:39:20 --> 00:39:20

Right?

00:39:20 --> 00:39:22

And I ended up deleting those two this

00:39:22 --> 00:39:22

week.

00:39:22 --> 00:39:24

So, I took it step by step because

00:39:24 --> 00:39:26

it's very hard to just change so much

00:39:26 --> 00:39:27

in one go.

00:39:27 --> 00:39:29

But it's a very toxic environment.

00:39:29 --> 00:39:31

So, if you are on it for business

00:39:31 --> 00:39:34

reasons or dawah reasons or whatever, every week

00:39:34 --> 00:39:37

re-evaluate whether it's contributing to your happiness

00:39:37 --> 00:39:39

or to mental health problems because it does

00:39:39 --> 00:39:40

cause mental health problems.

00:39:41 --> 00:39:42

And if you feel it's moving too much

00:39:42 --> 00:39:44

on the negative side, take a break or

00:39:44 --> 00:39:46

delete it for your own sake.

00:39:46 --> 00:39:48

Please don't delete your social media until after

00:39:48 --> 00:39:49

Muslimah today.

00:39:49 --> 00:39:50

Thank you.

00:39:50 --> 00:39:50

Okay.

00:39:51 --> 00:39:53

Sheikh Ismail, this is a very important question,

00:39:53 --> 00:39:55

I think, because it is linked to your

00:39:55 --> 00:39:57

happiness even though it concerns the other people

00:39:57 --> 00:39:57

in your home.

00:39:58 --> 00:39:59

Prayers are a big part of Islam.

00:39:59 --> 00:40:01

One of our foundations and one of our

00:40:01 --> 00:40:01

pillars.

00:40:01 --> 00:40:03

My husband is very hardworking.

00:40:04 --> 00:40:06

He supports his family, but he doesn't pray.

00:40:06 --> 00:40:09

How do I encourage him to pray because

00:40:09 --> 00:40:11

me praying alone is not encouraging him?

00:40:12 --> 00:40:13

Did you get the question?

00:40:13 --> 00:40:14

No, I didn't get the last part.

00:40:14 --> 00:40:15

Okay.

00:40:16 --> 00:40:18

She wants to know how to encourage her

00:40:18 --> 00:40:20

husband to start praying because currently she's praying

00:40:20 --> 00:40:21

on her own.

00:40:23 --> 00:40:24

I still didn't get the question.

00:40:24 --> 00:40:25

Okay, somebody else is going to have to

00:40:25 --> 00:40:26

ask it from the audience.

00:40:26 --> 00:40:27

It's the acoustics on the hall.

00:40:28 --> 00:40:30

Where's the handheld mic?

00:40:31 --> 00:40:32

Missy, can you ask the question for me,

00:40:32 --> 00:40:33

please?

00:40:33 --> 00:40:35

By the way, there's a general problem.

00:40:35 --> 00:40:36

There's always a problem here.

00:40:36 --> 00:40:36

Yes.

00:40:36 --> 00:40:38

This is a program we had three weeks

00:40:38 --> 00:40:38

ago.

00:40:38 --> 00:40:41

Missy is a school principal, so she'll ask

00:40:41 --> 00:40:42

the question.

00:40:43 --> 00:40:43

Assalamualaikum.

00:40:43 --> 00:40:46

The question was, the woman says that she

00:40:46 --> 00:40:48

wants to know how to encourage her husband

00:40:48 --> 00:40:51

to read Salah with her because she prays

00:40:51 --> 00:40:53

on her own and that is not encouraging

00:40:53 --> 00:40:53

him.

00:40:54 --> 00:40:55

He's not praying.

00:40:55 --> 00:40:57

So the husband is not practicing and the

00:40:57 --> 00:40:58

wife is.

00:40:58 --> 00:40:59

How to encourage him?

00:41:00 --> 00:41:01

It's a tough one.

00:41:02 --> 00:41:05

The truth is guidance is in Allah's hands,

00:41:05 --> 00:41:05

right?

00:41:05 --> 00:41:07

You can't really guide people's hearts.

00:41:08 --> 00:41:10

The most you can do is encourage people

00:41:11 --> 00:41:14

and perhaps try to get them into good

00:41:14 --> 00:41:14

company.

00:41:15 --> 00:41:18

So I would ask who is the husband

00:41:18 --> 00:41:18

hanging out with?

00:41:18 --> 00:41:19

Who are his friends?

00:41:19 --> 00:41:21

Who are the people who are influencing him?

00:41:21 --> 00:41:25

Because men are very egotistical creatures, right?

00:41:26 --> 00:41:28

It's more likely that his friends can influence

00:41:28 --> 00:41:29

him than his wife.

00:41:29 --> 00:41:31

That's just the nature of men.

00:41:31 --> 00:41:33

So if he has good friends who try

00:41:33 --> 00:41:36

to get him to pray, it's more likely

00:41:36 --> 00:41:38

he listens to them than to his wife.

00:41:38 --> 00:41:39

That's unfortunately how most men are.

00:41:40 --> 00:41:43

So I would highly recommend that the wife

00:41:43 --> 00:41:45

tries to figure out who are her husband's

00:41:45 --> 00:41:45

friends.

00:41:45 --> 00:41:46

Can she get him into good company?

00:41:47 --> 00:41:49

Can she get him to start hanging out

00:41:49 --> 00:41:50

with better people?

00:41:50 --> 00:41:53

Maybe encourage him to attend an Islamic event.

00:41:54 --> 00:41:57

For many men, all it takes is attending

00:41:57 --> 00:42:00

one nice Islamic event with good speakers and

00:42:00 --> 00:42:02

good company and making friends there to completely

00:42:02 --> 00:42:04

turn them around, right?

00:42:04 --> 00:42:07

So we shouldn't underestimate the social factor.

00:42:07 --> 00:42:11

The social factor being that people are influenced

00:42:11 --> 00:42:12

by their friends.

00:42:12 --> 00:42:15

The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said, you

00:42:15 --> 00:42:17

are on the religion of your best friend.

00:42:17 --> 00:42:20

You are on the religion of your best

00:42:20 --> 00:42:22

friend so be very careful who you choose

00:42:22 --> 00:42:23

for a best friend.

00:42:23 --> 00:42:25

So for me that would be primary.

00:42:25 --> 00:42:27

Who are the people influencing a husband?

00:42:28 --> 00:42:30

If he doesn't have good company, try to

00:42:30 --> 00:42:31

get him into good company.

00:42:31 --> 00:42:33

By the end of the day, understand that

00:42:33 --> 00:42:34

guidance is from Allah.

00:42:35 --> 00:42:36

The most you can do is encourage and

00:42:36 --> 00:42:37

advise.

00:42:37 --> 00:42:39

And at the end of the day, nobody

00:42:39 --> 00:42:40

is ever going to be perfect and we

00:42:40 --> 00:42:42

are all going to have to keep trying

00:42:42 --> 00:42:42

to be better.

00:42:45 --> 00:42:46

But there is no magic formula.

00:42:47 --> 00:42:48

I know when people ask these questions, they

00:42:48 --> 00:42:49

are hoping for some magic formula.

00:42:49 --> 00:42:51

Some du'a you can make it, tomorrow

00:42:51 --> 00:42:52

he wakes up and he's praying tahajjud.

00:42:53 --> 00:42:54

It doesn't work like that.

00:42:54 --> 00:42:56

Can you give the mic again so she

00:42:56 --> 00:42:57

can ask the next question for me please?

00:42:59 --> 00:43:03

You mentioned spouses and children as being the

00:43:03 --> 00:43:04

most important part of the family.

00:43:04 --> 00:43:06

But what about a verse in the Quran

00:43:06 --> 00:43:07

where Allah says that they can actually be

00:43:07 --> 00:43:08

your enemies.

00:43:08 --> 00:43:10

What does he mean when he says that?

00:43:10 --> 00:43:12

Your spouses and your children.

00:43:17 --> 00:43:18

Shall I repeat?

00:43:18 --> 00:43:19

Okay.

00:43:20 --> 00:43:22

Sheikh Ismail mentioned that your spouses and your

00:43:22 --> 00:43:25

children are the most important within the family

00:43:25 --> 00:43:27

which is stated as one of the steps

00:43:27 --> 00:43:28

towards attaining happiness.

00:43:28 --> 00:43:31

What about the verse in the Quran which

00:43:31 --> 00:43:33

states that from your spouses and your children

00:43:33 --> 00:43:34

are enemies for you?

00:43:35 --> 00:43:35

Enemies.

00:43:35 --> 00:43:36

Okay, I heard the questions.

00:43:36 --> 00:43:36

Okay.

00:43:37 --> 00:43:38

Right.

00:43:38 --> 00:43:40

Okay, so the question was about the verse

00:43:40 --> 00:43:42

in the Quran that your wives and your

00:43:42 --> 00:43:44

children can become your enemies.

00:43:44 --> 00:43:46

That's a hypothetical.

00:43:46 --> 00:43:48

The default is that they are a source

00:43:48 --> 00:43:48

of happiness.

00:43:49 --> 00:43:50

Allah could test you.

00:43:50 --> 00:43:52

Allah could test you with a son who

00:43:52 --> 00:43:53

is a terrible person.

00:43:54 --> 00:43:57

Like how the wife of the pharaoh was

00:43:57 --> 00:43:58

tested with her husband who was a terrible

00:43:58 --> 00:43:59

person, right?

00:43:59 --> 00:44:00

That is the test of life that some

00:44:00 --> 00:44:01

people go through.

00:44:01 --> 00:44:04

So the verse that says that your family

00:44:04 --> 00:44:05

is your source of peace, your joy of

00:44:05 --> 00:44:08

the world, that's the default, that's the norm.

00:44:08 --> 00:44:11

The norm is that marriage brings happiness, children

00:44:11 --> 00:44:11

bring happiness.

00:44:12 --> 00:44:14

And the other verse is warning you about

00:44:14 --> 00:44:16

the hypothetical test.

00:44:16 --> 00:44:18

Some people will have it, most people won't.

00:44:19 --> 00:44:21

Some people are tested with their children, right?

00:44:21 --> 00:44:23

Some people are tested with their spouses.

00:44:23 --> 00:44:27

So that is some people's situation, not all.

00:44:27 --> 00:44:29

Okay, Jazakallah khair, Sheikh Ismail.

00:44:30 --> 00:44:33

Like I mentioned, every Friday, Jumu'ah, 12

00:44:33 --> 00:44:34

.30 at the Maryam B Center.

00:44:35 --> 00:44:36

There's facilities for men and women.

00:44:37 --> 00:44:39

Also, Sheikh Ismail has agreed that he would

00:44:39 --> 00:44:41

teach a course for us as well.

00:44:41 --> 00:44:43

Here are some of the topics that he's

00:44:43 --> 00:44:44

interested in teaching.

00:44:44 --> 00:44:47

Foundations of a strong marriage, Fundamentals of parenting,

00:44:48 --> 00:44:50

The goals of Islamic law, History of Islam,

00:44:50 --> 00:44:52

Purification of the soul.

00:44:52 --> 00:44:54

Would you ladies be interested in attending some

00:44:54 --> 00:44:55

of those courses?

00:44:55 --> 00:44:55

Yeah?

00:44:56 --> 00:44:58

Okay, so we're going to do a poll

00:44:58 --> 00:44:59

on the group in the next few days.

00:44:59 --> 00:45:01

You can choose the topic and then we'll

00:45:01 --> 00:45:02

make an arrangement, Inshallah.

00:45:02 --> 00:45:04

Jazakallah khair, Sheikh Ismail, for your time.

00:45:04 --> 00:45:05

Sheikh Saeed has a gift for you.

00:45:06 --> 00:45:08

Ladies, we are entering into lunchtime, but there

00:45:08 --> 00:45:10

are a few announcements and a few prizes

00:45:10 --> 00:45:10

to give away.

00:45:11 --> 00:45:13

Firstly, it is our tradition at Muslima Today

00:45:13 --> 00:45:15

to give a prize to the first person

00:45:15 --> 00:45:17

who bought the tickets for the event.

00:45:17 --> 00:45:20

We have an Osman spice hamper to give

00:45:20 --> 00:45:21

to my good friend, Fatima Mita.

00:45:21 --> 00:45:22

Are you here?

00:45:23 --> 00:45:24

I saw her earlier.

00:45:24 --> 00:45:25

Fatima is here.

00:45:25 --> 00:45:27

She's right there in the corner, Iman and

00:45:27 --> 00:45:27

Awal.

00:45:27 --> 00:45:28

Right there in the corner.

00:45:29 --> 00:45:30

She actually bought the first ticket for Muslima

00:45:30 --> 00:45:31

Today.

00:45:31 --> 00:45:32

Please give her a round of applause because

00:45:32 --> 00:45:33

we are a very last-minute community.

00:45:37 --> 00:45:39

Okay, so that's the one prize.

00:45:40 --> 00:45:42

Remember, there's a prize valued at 5,000

00:45:42 --> 00:45:44

rands that has been organized by one of

00:45:44 --> 00:45:47

our speakers in the panel session on Rewrite

00:45:47 --> 00:45:47

Muslimas.

00:45:48 --> 00:45:50

She's decided how she's going to give that

00:45:50 --> 00:45:50

prize away.

00:45:50 --> 00:45:52

She underwent a lot of effort to actually

00:45:52 --> 00:45:55

get that prize put together, and she's got

00:45:55 --> 00:45:57

this whole strategy in mind as to how

00:45:57 --> 00:45:58

she wants to give the prize away.

00:45:58 --> 00:46:00

So that's only happening later on in the

00:46:00 --> 00:46:00

day.

00:46:00 --> 00:46:03

Also, for the most social media posts, Arifa

00:46:03 --> 00:46:04

is busy judging that.

00:46:04 --> 00:46:07

We have a 750-rand Moda Modess voucher

00:46:07 --> 00:46:07

to give away.

00:46:08 --> 00:46:10

We've also got a 750-rand cash prize

00:46:10 --> 00:46:10

to give away.

00:46:11 --> 00:46:12

But right now, I want to ask Lizelle.

00:46:13 --> 00:46:14

Is that your name?

00:46:14 --> 00:46:16

Lizelle is one of the sisters in our

00:46:16 --> 00:46:18

audience who isn't Muslim who came, and she

00:46:18 --> 00:46:20

was the first person at the venue today.

00:46:20 --> 00:46:21

So let's give her a round of applause.

00:46:22 --> 00:46:22

Okay.

00:46:23 --> 00:46:25

We're actually going to give her...

00:46:25 --> 00:46:27

She's quite happy to receive a copy, an

00:46:27 --> 00:46:29

English translation of the Quran and a little

00:46:29 --> 00:46:31

introductory kit to Islam.

00:46:31 --> 00:46:33

But I also want to give her a

00:46:33 --> 00:46:34

Flutter Butter prize, please.

00:46:40 --> 00:46:40

Okay, ladies.

00:46:41 --> 00:46:43

It is now time for lunch, almost time

00:46:43 --> 00:46:43

for lunch.

00:46:43 --> 00:46:45

I have the following announcements to make.

00:46:45 --> 00:46:47

There are various buffet stations at the back

00:46:47 --> 00:46:48

behind the curtain.

00:46:48 --> 00:46:50

Lunch is the buffet this year.

00:46:50 --> 00:46:52

You can either go and pray and then

00:46:52 --> 00:46:53

come and eat, or you can eat and

00:46:53 --> 00:46:54

then go and pray.

00:46:54 --> 00:46:56

There are two Salah facilities.

00:46:56 --> 00:46:58

There's one downstairs, and there's one upstairs.

00:46:58 --> 00:47:00

There's ample Wudu facilities as well.

00:47:00 --> 00:47:02

We also have Osman's Taj Mahal.

00:47:02 --> 00:47:05

They're providing complimentary bhajias, chili bites, and tea

00:47:05 --> 00:47:06

as well.

00:47:06 --> 00:47:08

They're also here, so you can choose which

00:47:08 --> 00:47:09

one you want to do.

00:47:09 --> 00:47:11

In terms of the buffet lunch, we've been

00:47:11 --> 00:47:13

asked to ask you to please...

00:47:13 --> 00:47:14

It's one drink per person.

00:47:14 --> 00:47:16

And please allow everybody to partake of the

00:47:16 --> 00:47:18

buffet before going back for seconds.

00:47:18 --> 00:47:20

And also, if you could please return your

00:47:20 --> 00:47:22

dishes to the tables, right?

00:47:22 --> 00:47:23

That's number one.

00:47:23 --> 00:47:25

Number two, we are selling goodie bags in

00:47:25 --> 00:47:26

the foyer for 50 rands.

00:47:26 --> 00:47:28

The goodie bags do not include the Omar

00:47:28 --> 00:47:30

Suleiman book, but it's everything else that's in

00:47:30 --> 00:47:31

the goodie bag.

00:47:31 --> 00:47:32

It's 50 rands.

00:47:32 --> 00:47:34

The funds just come back to the organization

00:47:34 --> 00:47:36

and are used for our various projects.

00:47:37 --> 00:47:38

I think that's about it.

00:47:38 --> 00:47:40

There isn't anything else much to say, except

00:47:40 --> 00:47:41

for timing.

00:47:41 --> 00:47:43

It's crucial that we return to the venue

00:47:43 --> 00:47:45

in exactly an hour from now.

00:47:46 --> 00:47:48

So please make your way to either make

00:47:48 --> 00:47:50

your Wudu and pray your Salah, or you

00:47:50 --> 00:47:52

want to have your meal first, or your

00:47:52 --> 00:47:53

bajjah, or do your shopping.

00:47:54 --> 00:47:56

But it is now 12.52. We must

00:47:56 --> 00:47:58

be back in the venue by 1.55.

00:47:58 --> 00:47:59

That's absolutely crucial.

00:48:00 --> 00:48:01

Jazakallah Khairan.

00:48:01 --> 00:48:02

Assalamu Alaikum.

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