Ibrahim Nuhu – Riyad Us Saliheen – Hadith 735 P2
AI: Summary ©
The importance of finding a partner for one's wife is emphasized, as it is crucial for loneliness, custody, and marriage. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam advises against disrespecting someone's behavior and not taking responsibility for it, and to avoid embarrassment and loss of reward. The importance of training for older children and avoiding fasting during mass events is also emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the need to be mindful of one's love and avoid becoming attached to a woman who is not the intended partner.
AI: Summary ©
I swear by the one who created Muhammad's
house.
She said, okay. Then when when I'm when
I'm sad, he said, you usually say,
waram go Ibrahim.
This is life in the house of Muhammad,
so I really invite anyone
amongst you who is married, please
Read a lot about the life of rasul
lai sallam at home
To see the tolerance,
to see the overlooking,
you know to see the clear understanding of
who a woman is.
That's why they they couldn't recognize themselves when
he died.
In that house, there is no food.
Except a litter,
You know, this dunya that you see outside,
they don't have. But subhanAllah, they cannot think
of Badi.
Why? Because what they got from the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, they know they cannot
get it anywhere else.
Not just because he's a prophet, no in
terms of marital relationship and good relationship
wallahi there is nobody who is similar to
the prophet of Rasul and you cannot find
somebody like that.
That's also
the most excellent husband you can ever imagine
was Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Had tabbish hadith al kuffar.
You know that that guy, I don't know
whether he converts it to Islam or not,
who says
when he was
Looking for the best, you know most influential
people, you know in the history. You remember
that book right? The 100 right there and
rasul as salam was on top and he
was not a Muslim. He was a Christian
if I'm not mistaken.
He put rasul as salam on top of
the list.
Ibn Niz salaam was number
number 2?
Sure. I think he put somebody else before
Nisail Salam.
You read the book, Alhamdulillah.
So the only thing that he is correct
is number 1.
Yeah. The only one that is correct is
number 1. I think Omar radhielaman who came
number 50.
Those who in the list. He put us
to Allah subhanahu number 1 and according to
us. Rasulah Salasam is number 1 followed by
Ibrahim Alisa
and then
Musalis
and
then.
And then the rest of the prophets and
the messengers of Allah
and then Abu Bakr radiAllahu.
And then Umak and there we go.
But anyway, one of the reason why he
chose rasul as salam,
he said because he checked the life of
rasul as salam being a husband,
which Isa alaihi wasallam did not qualify that.
Because you cannot find a place that you
can attack in the life of Musula Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam as a husband.
None
whatsoever. If you want to see what I'm
saying go and see the
life of the prophet sallam and read it.
You will understand about it, be you Allah.
I
am pretty sure
every one of us faces a lot of
issues at home.
We're still facing, you know,
so many
issues and I'm talking about the student of
knowledge. The only remedy we have is
that approach of Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sakam.
He says,
All of these things, you know, he is
saying
he has them, you know, being applied properly
in his life. That's why he lived with
his family members very peacefully.
He sit down listen to her, you know.
Give her relief,
you know so that she will not feel
that loneliness.
It might go away from them for long,
you know when he comes
back. They don't miss.
I mean
anything, you know. It's like they are together
with him because they know that the heart
of rasulullah sallahu alaihi wa sama is is
there at home.
Ask yourself this question, your wife does she
has this feeling?
Get it? If the answer is negative,
please fix it.
Yeah, please fix it.
Let her believe
and make it for the sake of Allah
subhanahu. Tell her that yes.
She
is your wife and you care
for her. So the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam
May Allah's mortality grant his ability to follow
rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
in living with without spouses and may Allah
grant
her wife's ability also to follow the wives
of Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam in
living
with him. Because sometimes also the problem is,
I mean, sometimes the problem is not the
husband, it's the wife herself.
Right? She also doesn't
do that which a wife is supposed to
be to be doing.
She wants to live alone.
You know, because when the marriage happens, what
does that mean? The custody is given to?
Who? The husband.
She doesn't want this life. She wants a
life of freedom doing whatever she wants you
know and all of these things so she
wants to live alone.
Nobody can stand this because this is against
the nature.
Naturally incorrect
and whoever is thinking like this you shouldn't
marry at the first place.
Because what is it? What is the benefit
of marriage and what is the difference between
marriage and Sifa?
If life is going to be according to
the way she see it.
What is the difference between marriage and sifa?
No difference.
Whereas when you look at the
the wives of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam see the way they do
and all of them are like that, all.
They always try to see what exactly rasulullah
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam loves, they do that
and they try to stay away from what
he doesn't like. I give you one simple
example
to qualify this statement, you know when
Aisha was sitting with the prophet salallahu alaihi
wasalam
The other wives, you know, they have some
issues
because they realize that the love of the
prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam. To Aisha is
really big.
Because they know his happiness
is is up.
So the wives are annoyed.
They send umus Salamah
to go and talk to the prophet
about making some, you know, modifications.
You can't say in this matter. You You
should tell their companions to make gift randomly.
Why they always choose when when you're with
action?
Umu sallamah when she talked to rasul lahu
sallamah about
He said don't harm me in Aisha.
SubhanAllah,
she said, awdulhumila, she goes scared. She said,
awdulhumilahebinaabak.
She left.
She'll never want to talk to him. Although,
she is not happy, but as long as
this is what my husband wants,
Khallaz, case closed.
These are the wives of rasul as a
lasa. Aisha was
She didn't talk to the prophet salallahu alaihi
wa sallam, take her kisses with Aisha. Since
rasoolallahu alaihi wa sallam is not willing to
resolve it, she also doesn't want to see
him angry. So that's why she doesn't talk
to him, but she talks to Aisha was
there mr. Rasulullah talking
talking talking now and Aisha was really annoyed
with what Ze'ev was saying
and she wanted to talk and reply her.
But then she said
before I reply her, I look at the
face of rasool Allah SWAMI first to see
whether he minds me replying or not.
Yeah, this is what every wife should be
looking at.
The way Aisha said and the way the
rest of the wives of the prophets of
Allah, they always try to focus on his
face to see what exactly he wants.
His mood changes
they try to understand that yes
What changes the mood to avoid anything
that can cause him any depression?
Because the house is going to be messy
and he will be reacting to all towards
them very negatively.
I just said, I started with the prophet
salallahu alaihi wasalam at first to see whether
he,
he doesn't mind or he might. She said,
when I realized that the prophet
does not mind me replying, then I started
his reply.
And the prophet was laughing. He was smiling.
He was smiling and joined the reply, you
know.
Until the time as katata.
Zaynab couldn't continue. She kept quiet and then
the prophet
said
So what I'm trying to say is both
have to go back to the sunnah of
the Prophet and get the best way to
live with
to live with with the other partner.
The prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam came back
to his house
and he asked his family, do you have
any any sauce, any soup? No, he wants
to eat
his food with with it.
So no soup, no anything. So he asked
do you have anything?
We don't have anything except vanilla.
And then the prophet
said, oh, that's excellent.
What an excellent source
of vinegar or vinegar is an excellent sauce.
So
you can see also here, this is just
vinegar, you know. But the prophet was eating
his food with it and he was praising
it. He was praising it to confirm that
prophet never disrespect
or embarrass
his family when they present
food to him. Never criticized the food. So
when they gave him that one the prophet
said,
oh alhamdulillah. We have this. We have food
The prophet
said, so this is a topic that we'll
talk about. What a person should say when
he is invited to to a feast?
When somebody invites you to come for the
food
and you are fasting.
What should you say to that person?
If you decide not to not to break
your fast, what
would you say to him?
Abu Huraira said,
said, if I do a you hadukum falyuzim,
if one of you is invited to
food, Walima, he should
he should accept the invitation.
That's why
rejecting an invitation for walima
is wrong.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasalam said if a
person is invited to Waleema and he did
he doesn't want to come he is disobeying
Who is abul Qasim? Was Surah lai sama.
Is one of the right of your brother
upon you
to accept the invitation of the waleem when
he invites you.
As long as that waleema
is correct, you have to
be. But if the walima is attached to
things which are sinful.
Then you shouldn't go unless if you know
that you
by by you going you'll be able to
fix the mistake and the wrongdoing that is
taking place in that.
Otherwise, you're not supposed to know that. It's
not to you.
I have to apologize
to them and it's good to explain to
them that you have restriction in your religion.
You cannot attend the place that is like
this.
But in normal circumstances,
you have to go when somebody invites you
it is his right for you to accept
that invitation.
Unless if you have another invitation
or another obligate obligatory act, you know in
front of you at that time, then you
just apologize to them.
Because when it comes to wajibat,
you know, alatiteta'arum.
Ta'arum.
You have a contradiction between wajibat.
You have another obligation and somebody invited you
at a time you're busy with something
that you must attend to it. In this
case, you go to the one, the one
which comes first.
You get it, so it is worthy upon
you to go
when you are invited.
You get it? As long as
the place is within your affordability.
Yeah, you are in
KL.
He invites you to Alima
in Johor.
And then he tells you,
What should what should I tell him?
Provide me with
ticket
and
hotel room that he booked. Inshallah, we go.
Then he will cancel that invitation.
Yeah, so it should be within the place
that you can attend. Right? If a person
because sometimes even if he's going to provide
you with a ticket,
The days you're going to be spending to
go to that place also counting. You might
not be able to do it.
But if Wadiya is if Waleema is within
the place where you are living in, then
you should accept the invitation.
Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said, Itaduriya
ahadukum faliuji. So there's a command from Rasulullah
sallam. If one of you is invited for
waleema he should
he should accept
the invitation.
Fa'inkaan saiman faliyah sali,
if he is fasting
he
should he should make dua for that person.
You go and
If he is not fasting, then he should
he should eat the food.
So that means
I can keep my fast, right?
Which one is better?
It depends on the situation.
If you go into that phase, everyone is
eat. You are the only one who's eating.
It doesn't look
nice. It doesn't look
nice. Right?
So what must you do?
You break your fast if that fast is
not obligatory fasting.
If it is a fasting that is obligatory
upon you, let's say you promised to fast
on that day.
It's Wajib on you to fast or you're
fasting and they invite you for Waleema. I
apologize.
Get bonkers and go home. Yeah.
You get it?
So you cannot break your fast.
What if he invites you in Ramadan?
Can you eat?
Afternoon.
No.
Before my god.
You should ask me. Is it even possible
for somebody to?
Yes, it's possible.
They just came back from from,
from Ra, you know, they were not fasting.
They reached Malaysia
after 2.
And one of them
in the airplane married.
They decided to have Walima on that day.
All of them, 100 of them they're having
Walima. They invite you.
So even though they've been says this hadith,
I'm just taking this example from him. Yeah.
This hadith is not applicable in any obligatory
fast. The
excuse is given to them. And by the
way, when they come back home to Malaysia,
are they allowed to eat food?
When they reach home now, they are not
Musa'firid.
They have to close their mouth.
Yeah,
they are allowed to eat, but they have
to do it
at home in secret.
It's a punishment because this is not fasting.
They're just punishing themselves.
And when they reach Malaysia, they can eat
at home.
You know, whoever is given ruxa,
when the time for the ruxa, you know
finished,
you know and still we have the balance
of the day in ramadan. He can continue
to eat, but he has to make it
in in secret.
If he does it in public,
the authority has to put him in tazir.
And now
they have to observe tazir on him.
Yeah, because he has raksha and who knows
that he has raksha.
And this is also a message to the
sisters at home.
Sisters at
at home,
when the time they don't fast comes
the kids and children, you know who don't
know who doesn't I mean don't know about
hide and all of these things.
They should hide themselves.
Nowadays, I know that this shine is going
down to lose them.
Allah when we are young all of these
things we don't know them.
You have to grow old even then, you
know the nature of the books you learn
in fact, they're the very beginning
of the fiqhir. You don't go through those
things.
Yeah, so a sister should be shy and
also
for the purpose of training, they shouldn't let
the child see. Because we are telling him
fast and he see this,
big
person not fasting. What justification you give him?
At the same time, you don't want to
tell him about what exactly is going on.
But then, he see how eating.
What can you tell him?
You?
I remember when we were young they sent
us to
To place me and my cousin.
Subhanallah, we went to that house. We saw
a woman eat.
In Ramallah. We came back home. We told
the sisters,
subhanallah.
So one big person eating.
They said, no, you don't see how we
say. No, wallahi, we swear by Allah, wallahi,
we saw her. They say you saw her?
So they were smiling.
Maybe she is sick, you know, you don't
know. We said, no, she's not sick
because Because we didn't see any side, you
know, and and boy, we told that, we
We told them allah, she's masriq.
Later on when we grow, we study then
I remember that.
So,
they should try their best also to hide
it, you know, for the purpose of training
for that for the kids because what you
understand they might not understand.
To them,
is that somebody
has a right when he is hungry to
eat because they see this person without any
physical,
you know weakness
breaking their fast. So the prophet Sallallahu alaihi
wa sama said if you are invited
for a waleema, you should accept. If you
are fasting the the prophet salawat suma said
you should make dua
and if you want to break your fast,
you can break it. That's why I was
asking which one is
is the best to break your fast
or to continue fasting. If it is wajid,
then you cannot break that fast. You should
continue and make dua for for those people.
If it is sunnah fast and you are
the only one who is not fasting, it
doesn't look nice even for you also, it's
not good.
You will lie. You're opening the door for
the shaytan to come and tell you, oh,
masha Allah, you know. Everyone in this place
is eating. I'm the only one. So special
day, you know.
And then the urge will
enter enter you and then you will lose
the fast and the reward.
Allah will be angry with you.
So I will choose for you if you
go and nobody is is fasting. You're the
only one who is doing and this is
sunnah fast break the fast and eat.
Unless if you decide not to stay in
the place,
it'll go in secret and meet that person
say salaam to him and greet him and
take your books and run away. Tell them
I have excuse will I have to catch
up something, you
know? Call your wife tell her I'm coming
back early,
so that you will not lie to the
to the person.
So it's better for you in this situation
to to break your fast. In the normal
circumstances,
if the person doesn't ask you to break
your fast. Because sometimes we'll please please eat.
Which one is better if he beg you
to break your fast?
Is he committing
sin? No, he's not.
Because the fasting itself is not listen watch.
You get it? It's a moment of happiness,
moment of eating. So if he begged you
to break your fast, is good also to
to accept that invitation to break your fast
and eat with everyone so the prophet salallahu
alaihi wasalam said Generally
you have a choice whether to make dua
for for him and his quali imam,
or to break your fast if you if
you wish.
Fatebih Abu Haydu.
There's a chapter that we talk about.
What should you say if, let's say,
somebody invites you to
food. Say Mazin Toh Hazem,
please invite you to my my waleel,
If you will accept anyway, so, Hazik said,
no problem. I'm coming.
So when Hazak is going to the waleema
Fatiha asked him, Hazak, where are you going?
He said, Mazak
is getting married.
Oh, Masha'Allah.
So where are you going? He said, I'm
going to his Walima.
Can I come?
That. Why am he just invited me? He's
okay. Let's go.
When you reach the place, can father he
just go in? Or there is something to
be said? This is what this chapter and
the topic will be, will be talking about.
Can these you the time?
I guess, this is the best place to
stop inshallah in the next class. We'll read
the hadith and give the interpretation of of
the hadith. And last one who will grant
you
good and tofiq and those who are not
married among you, we are not granted good
spouses.
In the hood, we call it a meeting.
K. There is a question that says,
what if
somebody invites you,
for Waleema?
And this is your last day of shawah.
Can should he break your fast
or you continue?
Which one is the best?
Get food or get shawad? Get shawad.
Yeah. Get shawad. This is something that when
it goes, you cannot replace it at all.
Yeah. In this case, you just apologize to
him. Tell him that this is my last
day of shawwal.
I will make dua for you, Shahuwah.
And that's that's the best. Otherwise, when you
done fast that last day, you lost that
benefit of shawwal.
You know, You lost that benefit of shawwal.
So the best is to inform him that
this is your last day of shawwal
and as such you cannot break the fast.
You are
sorry. Shaba and
There is another question which says that the
prophets salaam
talk about
the the places of marriage and people who
marry.
They marry other for beauty
or Hashem.
You remember that hadith, right?
And he says take the one that has
religion.
Tell you, but you're back.
So the questioner says, do we understand from
this that the prophet salaw al sama
is neither encouraging
Do we understand this? No, we don't. We
understand only one of them. The prophet's law
of the law of the law of the
law of the law of the law of
the law of the law of the law
of the law of the law of the
law of the law of the law of
the law of the law of the law
of the law of the law of the
law of the law of the law of
the law of the law of the law
of the law of the law of the
law of the law of the law of
the law of the law of the law
of Marrying because of any other purpose other
than the deen.
Because he says,
He says take the one that has deen,
you will be successful. You will succeed.
What does that mean?
Discouraging people to take?
Any,
woman
for
the sake of her wealth or jamal or
anything else.
You get it? That is a discouragement.
He's not making it haram. It's up to
a person to marry whoever he wants to
marry as long as
she qualifies
and qualifications here means it's halal for him
to marry her. It's up to him. He
wants mushkilah in the future. No problem. Let
him take everyone.
Yeah, he has this absolute freedom to choose
whatever he wants to choose.
However, rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam told him
it is not good for him to choose
for anything other than the religion.
Because this is the only way he will
he will succeed.
The scholar said you have different types of
beauties.
That which you see which is physical
beauty usually this one
is going to go. Right?
Yeah. From both sides, the male and the
female. Even is going to
go. Those who marry can tell you this
a lot.
That's why at the beginning of the marriage,
everything is what?
Masha'Allah. Shahruw
Al Asan, you know they call it honeymoon.
After few days it becomes which moon? I
don't know.
He goes out he locked, he switch off
his phone.
He put on the silent mode
so that the family cannot reach him on
phone.
What happened to the honeymoon? Now, there's no
more honeymoon.
Yeah. That's why there is a secret in
this advice of Muhammad salallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Because if the purpose of your marriage is
manners and attitude, these ones don't go. If
a person continue and maintain them, wallahi
madam. And usually what they do is they
make you blind. You don't see that deficiency
that is taking place in your family
physically. You have big respect.
And you will be attached to, you know,
and that's protection for them,
for you and for
them. Otherwise, those who cannot afford going
moving
forward, you know,
to do something that is halal,
you'll be trapped.
Religion is not the purpose of this marriage.
You'll be trapped.
So, please Shabab, you know think about this
so much
get the one who has deen
and
khuluq and manas and
beauty according to the way you want. But
get the one that combined the 3.
If deen is missing do not
go. If manas are missing do not go
you are a great.
You Allah you are a great. The other
one could be compromised.
But deal and damanas cannot be compromised.