Ibrahim Nuhu – Marriage In Islam Knowing You Knowing Me Part 1
AI: Summary ©
The importance of finding happiness in life is emphasized in Islam, as it is the basis for marriage. The need for peace and a strong culture in the community is also emphasized. The conversation covers various topics, including personal experiences, relationships, and the importance of women in relationships. The segment ends with a brief advertisement for a new drug treatment program.
AI: Summary ©
In the name of Allah, the most Merciful,
the most Compassionate.
May the peace and blessings of Allah be
upon the Prophet Muhammad and his family and
companions.
Today, which is the 6th of Jumada al
-Ula, 1446 years after the migration of Rasulullah
ﷺ from Mecca to Medina, which is equivalent
to November 8th, 2024.
First of all, Jazakumullah Khairan.
Thank you very much for granting me this
opportunity to be in this university for the
first time.
I know your predecessors, they have been trying
to bring me here, but I wasn't sure
about the environment I'm going to meet, so
I always declined.
So this time around, I see it necessary
to come and visit the place to see
my brothers and sisters here.
And also to see what I can share
with you guys to contribute to the learning
process in this university.
I'm really happy with this.
May Allah ﷻ reward you and grant you
good and tawfiq and be with you wherever
you are.
And protect you and preserve you and grant
you better than what you're looking for.
I believe the topic given to me is
one of the most important topics to be
discussed in this time of ours.
And as the brother mentioned, it is a
very wide and broad topic.
It can only scratch the surface.
So I will try to be very concise
and brief to talk about that which I
believe is beneficial to all of us.
As he says, if you have any question,
I love discussion and I love questions actually.
So if you have any question, inshallah, I
will be willing to address those questions according
to my ability.
To begin, I will start with the statement
of the Prophet ﷺ.
مَضَتْ فِي أَسْلَافِهِمُ الَّذِينَ مَضَوْنُ There's one beautiful
hadith from Rasulullah ﷺ where he says, there
are five things.
If people do them, Allah ﷻ will visit
them with the opposite and the punishment.
One of these things, he says, مَن تَشَرَتْ
الفَاحِشَةَ فِي قَوْمٍ حَتَّى يُعْلَنُوا بِهَا And a
fahisha, fahisha is promiscuity, zina, homosexuality, freemixing, illegal
relationship which is against the law, the law
of Allah ﷻ.
This will never be openly practiced and rampant
in the people except that A plague and
anguish will be afflicted by Allah ﷻ in
that community.
This plague will visit them and also diseases
which are not known to the predecessors.
The people before, they don't know these diseases.
If we are to tell them some of
the things that we are experiencing in our
time, I'm pretty sure even our grandparents might
not believe in us, in what we are
saying.
And all of these things, I see them
as a clear application of that which is
mentioned by the Prophet ﷺ and the consequences
of violating that part of the system given
to us by Rabbul Alameen.
Everyone who lives in our environment knows that
we are living in this tragedy.
The barrier that Allah ﷻ put, the barrier
which Allah ﷻ put is being removed.
So zina is rampant, illegal relationship is rampant,
and it's not easy for a person to
be decent in this time of ours.
You need a lot of effort to do
that which Allah ﷻ wants you to do.
Wherever you go, you have to deal with
the opposite agenda.
And Allah ﷻ out of wisdom and knowing
whom He creates, He designed this system which
is the only solution for the predicament that
we are facing nowadays.
Who is the most harmed person in this
dunya of ours?
Brothers or the sisters?
The sisters.
Go and see the statistics given to us
by others, not even us, and see on
the daily basis.
And I'm just actually belittling the situation.
Otherwise, the correct statement is to say that
every single minute or second, there is somebody
among the sisters who has been in trouble.
So this is actually the result of what
we agree to take.
We find it so fancy and we don't
care.
We don't care.
And the enemies of tranquility and peace and
family structure and family life is always happy
with this and always bringing these systems and
promoting them so that at the end of
the day, we will become like their own
communities.
So it's very, very, very important for us
to understand what is around us and to
understand the solution given to us by Rabbul
Alamin.
And to do that solution and to ask
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to interfere, to
put barakah in our life and to protect
us in a way we will meet him
peacefully.
Because I believe, all of us believe that...
Because I believe, all of us as a
Muslim, or even the non-Muslim, we believe
in the hereafter.
There is an accountability.
And every aware and conscious Muslim agrees that
life here on earth is temporary.
And also death is imminent.
And also it is a matter of fact
that this death can come at any time.
So the question here is, how am I
going to live this life back to the
place which I believe that I have to
go back to that place and meet Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala to face a heavy
accountability and questions about what I did in
this dunya of ours.
That should be the question.
How am I going to exit this life?
Since I already know and I believe that
I have to exit this life, whether in
the younger age or when I grow older.
Because subhanallah, it's been amazing to know that
death doesn't recognize ages.
If you ever deceive yourself that I have
to grow, I still have time.
Wallahi, this is an absolute deception.
And that means you don't understand the nature
of the planet you are living in.
Because we do have kids who died.
Not only the children, we do have some
of them actually, they came out of the
womb of their mothers, dead.
And if this situation exists, that means the
one who is out already is more closer
to death than those ones.
So what I'm trying to say is that
we should sense this, that we are here
for temporary living.
This is not a place for enjoyment.
To exhaust your opportunity and do that will
destroy your life in this dunya.
And also when you go back to Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala and face the heavy
consequences, which you will not be happy with
that.
Because this is how exactly it is.
You are negligent in whatever you want.
Life is all about enjoyment.
That's why those people who too much attach
themselves to social media in the wrong way,
when life is not enjoyable anymore, they are
faced by a lot of tests from Rabbul
Alamin, which he does for us.
For wisdom, to give you relief from your
sins, so that a day will come you
will go back to him, free of any
responsibilities.
But if we are confronted by these type
of tests, and you are too much attached
to those social media sites that you visit
from time to time, you will be willing
to take off your life, which is not
our behavior in the past.
It's not our behavior in the past.
And this comes because you take that kind
of hedonistic life, where you believe that it's
all about enjoyment, it's all about pleasure.
If you don't have it, then there is
no value in life.
Life is not like that.
And this is actually one of the things
that is destroying the marriages actually.
One of the major causes of marriage to
be destroyed is because the wife and the
husband, they both understand that marriage should be
all about pleasure.
And this kind of pleasure is restricted to
the sexual kind of enjoyment, which is not
going to last, and it's not going to
remain, because your wife will never remain in
the way she is.
And you also will never remain in the
way you are.
So if marriage is all about this, and
across the time your body fades, that beauty,
that prettiness, that handsomeness is gone, what happens?
You will not enjoy living with that spouse
of yours.
At the end of the day, you will
not be happy to stay with her or
him.
Then divorce will take place.
No, there are greater objectives attached to the
marriage, which are sensing their strength from the
major objective that we have of our existence
here in the dunya, to please Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala and go and have a
pleasure and the most excellent life.
Let me give you this gift, which you
already know, but I will just refresh your
mind with it.
You know, many people think that the righteous
people are depressed and their life is boring.
Aksumumillah, the life of a non-righteous person
is boring.
But the life of the righteous person is
not boring.
It's actually the most excellent life.
You know why is it the most excellent
life?
Because one of them said in the U
.S., he said, he's one of the leaders
of the U.S. without mentioning his name,
he was talking about GDP in economics.
He said GDP measures everything in our life
except one thing, which is the real thing
that makes life worthwhile.
What is that?
Happiness.
He talks about how much the country is
earning, how much a person can get, how
much, how much, how much, it's all about
materialistic kind of approach.
But what about what makes you happy?
Because I see rich people committing suicide.
I see the famous people, you know, ending
up in drug dealings and killing themselves.
I see so many things happening to these
guys who are supposed to be the most
happiest people.
There was a brother who converted to Islam
after being one of the top in the
gangsters in the U.S., end of accepting
Islam.
And he says almost everyone in that gang
accepted Islam also.
SubhanAllah, I love one statement he said one
day when he said, he said, there was
a time I woke up at night, I
started questioning myself.
I said, I have castles, not houses.
He said, he has castles.
And he has the latest version of cars.
And he says, I have girls, because they
were bad, so they have prostitute women anytime
they want.
He said, I have everything.
But then he said, I was questioning myself,
how come I'm still depressed and I'm not
happy?
He said, I do not know the answer.
Later on, he was guided to Islam.
SubhanAllah, we invited him one day in Malaysia
to give a lecture to the kids.
SubhanAllah, you can see him, you can see
the light on his face.
And that's what exactly good approach and good
life does.
I remember one of the non-Muslims, she
was visited by one of the young sisters
to invite her to Islam.
SubhanAllah, I still remember this word said by
this sister from the UK, the non-Muslim
sister from the UK.
She told the sister who went to her,
she said, sorry, she told the person who
sent the sister to her.
She said, I can see light and happiness
in the face of this younger girl.
SubhanAllah, she said, I just sense that this
girl is happy in her life.
And she never met her, she never know
her.
But she said, she just saw her, but
she sense that this girl is happy in
her life.
Why is that?
It's Islam.
SubhanAllah, it's Islam.
Suleyman a.s. on Balqis.
You know Balqis, right?
The queen of Sheba.
When she visited him, and Al-Hudhud, the
bird, when he talked to Suleyman, it says
to Suleyman, this woman, she has everything that
a kingdom needs to be called a civilization.
She's one of the great leaders on earth.
And then he was praising the kingdom.
He was praising how beautiful is the place
where she has.
But SubhanAllah, when she came to Suleyman a
.s., she entered the place where Suleyman exists.
She became like somebody who is coming from
a village.
His place, this is where the most advanced
technology exists.
Not exaggerating, the most advanced technology.
The best, the most sophisticated one.
What she's proud of having, that throne, Suleyman
asked somebody to bring it within the blink
of an eye.
And you know, they were not bringing it
based on magic.
No.
It was a knowledge used by the one
who brought it.
Because Allah says, the one who has knowledge
brought it within the blink of an eye.
Which technology in our time has the capacity
to do that nowadays?
That's why some scholars said in the past,
the kind of advancement they have in those
days and accuracy up to date, we don't
get it.
Allah says, What makes this story beautiful is
the saying of Suleyman a.s. When Balqis
came and she thought she's going to be
walking in the river.
I can't imagine what exactly she saw in
that palace.
Suleyman told her, no, no, no worries.
She started taking off her skirt.
He said, no, no, no, it wasn't.
Just walk.
It's a normal place.
So Suleyman said, this throne that she has,
which was brought before she came, he asked
them to upgrade it.
It's obsolete.
Outdated.
They fixed it for her.
When she came, Suleyman asked her, does this
one look like your arch?
She said, It looks like it.
It's not the same, but it looks like
it.
Suleyman said, this is a message for all
of us.
He said, He said, Allah gave us knowledge
before her.
Because we are Muslims.
SubhanAllah.
I love this one.
He attached this advancement in technology with Islam.
And that's the absolute truth.
And that's why the life of a person
who goes out of the instructions of Rabbul
Alameen, Wallahi, it's boring.
It's full of depression and stress.
And he will never relax.
As Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, Whoever
stays away from my instruction and my command,
we let him face the consequences of life
alone.
Trust me, my dear brothers and sisters, you
need Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to be
involved in your life, otherwise you cannot survive.
You need Allah to be involved in your
life.
This dunya of ours, you cannot live alone.
I believe every one of us understand what
I'm saying.
This dunya of ours, full of criminals, surrounded
by criminals from every dimension, you cannot live
alone.
You need Rabbul Alameen to be standing between
you and others.
And only when you are religious, you get
this privilege.
So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, this
is the good news I said I will
give you.
He says, Every single person that lives on
earth, whether he agrees or he disagrees, what
he is looking for in every movement he
is making in this dunya, every movement he
is making in this dunya, he is looking
for sa'ada, a pleasant life, to stay
away from worry in this dunya.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells you, the
only way for you to get it is
to believe in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
whatever he asks you to believe in, and
to put that faith into practice and action.
He said if you do that, I promise
to give you a pleasant life in this
dunya, whereby you have peace of mind, tranquility
of the heart.
Everyone is worried, you don't have the worry.
And you will never get into a situation
that is complicated without having the solution for
that from Rabbul Alameen.
That's the good thing about being a religious
person.
Don't worry, life is temporary.
Wallahi, you will never lose.
You have the control of your heart, Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala will take care of
you.
Whenever you need, you get what you need.
And on top of all, when you leave
this life, you go back to Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala and get the best.
I guess this should be the choice of
every single Muslim, whether you study in, what
is the name of this university?
Taylor's?
I don't want to make a mistake, next
time the security will tell me you mess
up our name, you will never get in.
So, having said that, I needed to make
this introduction before I start the topic.
Right, having said that, then it is part
of our responsibility to look for At
least reduce the sound.
Alhamdulillah.
Look for the silent one, keep the silent
one.
I don't think we need it yet.
But anyway, I am okay with this one.
Alhamdulillah, my ears now can relax.
The other side, if they are annoyed, they
can look for their rights from him.
Anyway, so, a Muslim should be looking for
a solution.
What could possibly be the solution?
One of the solutions given to us by
the Sharia of Allah SWT is the marriage.
And it is so important that Allah SWT,
right after the creation of Adam AS, He
did not let him stay alone.
Allah SWT says Naturally, a man cannot be
comforted, sorry brothers, you cannot be in a
state of comfort without a wife.
Adam AS, more righteous than us, more closer
to Allah SWT Allah SWT said, we created
for him a wife so that he will
be comforted by her.
So that shows importance.
And because of its importance, in the time
of Adam AS, since the population is very
little, very limited, a brother can marry his
biological sister.
Because there is no other way to make
it except if that was legalized for him.
So a brother can marry his sister, that
was okay.
Later on, when the population grew bigger, Allah
SWT banned it and closed it.
The Sharia of Muhammad SAW, this is strictly
prohibited.
You cannot marry your sister.
She has to look for somebody out of
the family and marry.
And you also have to look for somebody
else.
There are many things to say from the
Prophet SAW to talk about the importance of
marriage.
The life of Mas'ud said, He says,
He said, if there is nothing left for
the dunya to finish except 10 days.
I know that only 10 days left in
the dunya.
After 10 days, Allah SWT will take off
everything.
He said, and I have money to marry.
He knows that only 10 days left.
He said, I will definitely make sure that
I marry before the dunya finished.
He said, if I have only 10 days
left and I have something to use for
my marriage, he said, I will definitely marry
before the dunya finished.
So as I said, we have from the
Sunnah of the Prophet SAW and from the
Quran, a lot to support the importance of
the marriage.
And I believe every Muslim knows how important
is a marriage.
Is One Of The Greatest System That Allah
Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Plays To Protect Our Community
From These Illegal Practices, Illegal Relationships Because Naturally
We Have This Desire.
If You Have A Person That Doesn'T Have
A Desire Either He Is Lying Or He
Is Sick Because This Is Not How Allah
Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Created Us.
So To Have Desire Is Not Deficiency In
Human Means.
Deficiency Exists When You Don'T Control The Desire
And Put It In The Right Place.
You Get It To Have Desire Is Not
Deficiency.
Deficiency Is Not To Control This Desire To
Put It In The Wrong Place.
We Should End Up In Putting The Community
Into In A State Of Trouble.
So It Helps Us, Marriage Helps The Community
To Be To Be Protected And Well Preserved
Because Trust Me If Zina Is Rampant In
The Community, You Should Expect A Lot Of
Diseases And Social Illnesses And Crimes To Be
Committed In That Community Because Our Children Who
Are Born Out Of Wedlock Usually They Don'T
Have Somebody To Take Care Of Them Properly
And They Will Be The One Who Will
Be Wandering Around.
Since There Is No Proper Education Being Given
To Them Then You Should Expect Every Evil
To Come From Those Kind Of People In
The Community.
That'S Why Islam Has Zero Tolerance Towards Adultery
And Fornication, Zero Tolerance To Save The Human
Beings And To Save The Sisters First And
Foremost Actually Because The One Who Is Being
Victimized Is Not The Brothers The Most, Other
Sisters.
Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said Ya Ma'shar Ash
-Shabaab, Ya Ma'shar Ash-Shabaab, He Called Upon
The Shabaab, He Said Whoever Can Afford Marriage
Among You Should Marry.
Who Is A Shabaab?
By Definition, When We Say A Shabaab, Who
Is A Shabaab?
Young Man, Who Is Young Man?
When Do I Start Calling A Person A
Young Man Or A Shabaab?
Puberty, Tell Me By Age?
15 Years Old.
That'S Why The Scholars Said The Invitation From
Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Start From What Age?
15 Years.
When Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Advises, Are We
Supposed To Listen?
Yes.
How Many People Are Married Here?
Don'T Be Shy, Save The Time For My
Lecture, Please.
How Many People Are Married Here?
I Know One.
Only One.
Who Is The Youngest Person Here?
Musab.
Musab, You Are The Youngest One.
Oh, I Am Taking...
Okay.
How Old Are You Musab?
18.
Yeah, Quite Young.
So He'S How Many Years Late?
Three Years.
And Allah, Thank You Very Much For That.
So Three Years, Right?
Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said When You Marry,
He Said تَزَوَّجُ الْوَلُودَ الْوَدُودَ فَإِنِّي مُكَافِرٌ بِكُمُ
الْأُمَمَةَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةَ Said I Want To Be
Proud Of Your Size On The Day Of
Judgment.
So That Means Because Of Musab, We Lost
How Many People?
Three.
I Want You To Make The Analogy.
You Who Are Older Than Musab, Right?
To See How Much You Are Costing Us
The Feasting Seat, The Ummah Of Muhammad Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam.
Should I Say May Allah Guide You?
Yes, This Is Dua, Right?
Yeah, But Please Take It Seriously.
Early Marriage Is Good And There Is No
Contradiction Actually Between Education And Marriage.
Let Me Tell You Some Secrets.
Please Don'T Share With Your Parents.
You Can Talk To Them And Fight Them
But Don'T Tell Them You Got It From
Me.
I Have Enough Of The Knock On My
Head.
It Is Part Of Your Right For Your
Parent To Support Your Marriage And Sponsor Your
Marriage From A To Z Actually.
It Is Part Of The Nafaqah.
They Have To Do And There Is No
Contradiction Between Education And Marriage And Actually Believe
It Or Not, Marriage Makes You Smarter Than
Before.
If There Is Anyone Who Is Facing Problem
In His Education Due To Lack Of Focus.
Trust Me, After Marriage, Usually These Type Of
Things Change.
So It'S Time For You To Open Your
Eyes To Go And Sit With Your Parents.
If They Are The Obstacle, Beg Them.
If They Don'T Want To Understand And You
Still, You Know Blessed By Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta
'Ala To Have Your Grandparents Who Are Still
Alive, Go To Them.
Approach Your Grandfather.
He Will Call Your Father And Tell Him
Let So And So And So Marry.
The Reason Why I'M Using The Grandparents Because
In Their Time They Have This Early Marriages.
They Don'T Understand What We'Re Talking About.
And Trust Me, I Believe It Is The
Best Approach For Our Community Nowadays.
To Protect Ourself And To Protect Our Brothers
And Sisters And To Protect The Community.
So Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said Whoever Amongst
You Who Can Afford Marriage, He Said Al
-Ba'a, Al-Ba'a Means Financially Capable
And Physically Also Capable To Be With A
Wife.
Then The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said You
Should Marry.
He Said You Cannot Afford It.
He Said It Helps You To Lower Your
Gaze And Also It Helps You To Protect
Your Private Part Because You Have A Place
To Release You.
To Relieve Your Desire.
If You Can Do That, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam Said Then You Should Fast.
Because Fasting Will Be A Deterrent For You
And It Can Only Be A Deterrent If
You Do It Correctly.
I Got A Person Who Told Me That
He Tried To Fast.
He Fast Actually Every Day.
But Still His Desire Is Very Strong.
The First Thing I Blame Is The Environment
He'S Living In Because You Cannot Look For
Remedy And You Still Taking The Poison.
I Want The Medicine.
The Doctor Is Giving Me The Medicine, But
I Still Taking The Poison.
It Doesn'T Work.
So The First Thing I Should Take, The
First Step Is To Stay Away From Anything
That Can Provoke The Desire, Limited My Going
To The Place.
You Might Be Living In A Place Which
You Have To Come And Do Ihtikaf With
The Opposite Gender.
What To Do In This Case, Minimize Your
Going Out, Be In Your Room, Be In
The Places Where You Need And That'S It.
So You Can Finish Your Education, Be In
The Light, Azawajal, Peacefully Without Destroying Your Attitude,
Your Behavior Which You Are Going To Regret
In The Future, Especially This Is Their Side.
You Regret In The Future.
Nobody'S There To Help And Support You.
So Fasting Should Be Done Correctly And You
Are Supposed Also To Support The Fast For
It To Be Active And Effective On You.
I Share With You A Story When I
Was One Of The Members In The Discipline,
Disciplinary Department In The School.
We Got A Complaint.
Usually How It Works Is That The Teacher,
Whether He Or She Has Problem With The
Student, They Will Take The Form And Fill
It With The Name Of The Student And
The Crime The Student Is Committing.
So This Teacher, She Wrote The Complaint That
This Boy Is Not Focusing In The Class.
Yeah, This Boy Is In Grade Eight.
So We Usually Ask The Boy To Come
And Ask Him To Reply.
We Give Him The Complaint Of The Teacher.
What Would You Reply?
This Boy Replied, Very Nice Reply That Caused
Me To Tell The Discipline Master, Please, This
Complaint Should Be Cast In The Garbage Place.
No Complaint Against Him.
But We Do Not Tell The Teacher That.
He Said, He Said, Sir, I Know.
Yes, I Am Not Focusing In The Class.
But What Really Happened Was, I Did Something
Wrong.
For Her To Punish Me, She Put Me
In The Middle Of The Sisters.
Then I Lost My Focus.
So We Laughed.
We Laughed.
This Younger Boy, But He Says She Put
Me In The Middle Of The Sister.
Then I Lost Control.
Was He Speaking The Truth?
Salaam.
Jamaat.
What Is The Name Of The Tailors?
Of Course, He Was Speaking The Truth.
So This Is Just Like What They Say
In Arabic.
You Bring A Person And You Tie His
Hand.
You Tie His Leg And You Throw Him
In The Water, In The River From Up
And You Tell Them, Wallah, If You Touch
Water, I Will Punish You.
And Release Him, Right?
He Can Run, He Can Run And Walk
In The Air To See Maybe He Can
Fly And Escape The Punishment.
But You Tie Him, You Put Him In
A Place And You Want Him To Do
What He, You Wanted Him To Do.
It Would Never Happened.
So We Have To Be Cooperative To That
First Thing To Take Place And Be Effective
On Us.
The Reason Why It Is Not Effective Nowadays,
It Is Because We Don'T Do It Correctly
And We Do It And Also We Still
Get Involved In Those Things Which Are Putting
Us Into Trouble.
So Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said If You
Can'T, He Said You Fast Because Fasting Will
Be Acting As A Deterrent For You.
So Now I Guess Nobody Among Us Who
Is Not Aware Of The Importance Of Marriage
And In Sha Allah, If Allah Wanted A
Wish That Next Year I'M Going To Come
To The Space.
I Will See The Section For The Kids,
Right?
For Your Children.
I'M Not Joking And I Guess You Also
You Know Joking.
So Please Take It A Serious Matter.
Yeah, Do It.
Marriage Is An Honor.
Wallahi Marriage Is An Honor.
I See Whoever Is Not Married As A
Miskeen Person.
I'M Very Sorry To Say This But I
See Whoever Is Not Married As A Miskeen
Person And Somebody Who Is Confused.
And Also Anyway, You Might Disagree But The
Focus I See On People Who Are Married
Is Much Greater Than The People Who Are
Not Married.
Marriage Is An Honor.
Is A Very Beautiful Mini Paradise If You
Do It Correctly.
And This Is What We'll Be Discussing
Now.
If You Do It Correctly, Marriage Is A
Small Mini Paradise.
You Know, But If You Don'T Do It
Correctly, It Will Be Like Mishatabitch.
You Will Never Relax.
You Will Believe That You Wish You Know
To Stay In The Kind Of Life You
Used To Be Before The Marriage.
So We All Know The Importance Of Marriage.
How To Marry?
So If We'Re Talking About How To
Marry Then We Have To Talk About Who
To Be With As Your Partner.
So First Of All, Good Intention Has To
Be There And Your Intention, This Is My
First Proposal For You.
Your Intention With Marriage Should Be To Please
Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala That Should Be Number
One.
Dealing With A Woman Is Not Easy.
I Know They Will Get Angry.
Dealing With A Man Is Not Easy, Both.
To Deal With A Man Is Not Easy,
To Deal With A Woman Is Not Easy.
These Two Different Mentalities And Different Feelings When
They Meet Together.
It'S Not Easy.
That'S Why Nowadays Like What One Of Our
Scholars Said, He Started To Believe That There
Is No House On Earth That There Is
No Mashakil Problem Between The Marital Couples.
Even Amongst The Students Of Knowledge.
Lot Of Mashakil, Lot Of Issues.
And Why Is That?
Because We Missed The Correct Approach.
What We Are Choosing Our Partners And People
Are Not Listening.
You Know, Sometimes It Takes You Hours To
Convince A Person That This Is The Correct
Method To Be Followed.
But Later On When He Get Into Trouble,
He Comes And Talk To You About The
Solutions.
So The First Thing Is The Intention.
Let Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Be Involved.
You Are Doing It For Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta
'Ala.
The Second Intention Should Be To Protect Yourself
From The Evil Consequences Of Not Using Your
Desire Properly.
The Third Is To Remember Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta
'Ala In Your House To Establish A Community
Of Allah'S Remembrance In The House.
Umar R.A Said I Used To Sometimes
Even If I Don'T Have Desire, I Force
Myself To Have Desire Towards My Wife So
That Maybe We Can Have A Child Who
Will Come And Remember Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala.
That'S The Reason Why The Scholars Said One
Of The Major Causes Of The Divorce And
Clashes At Home Is Because Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta
'Ala Is Not Involved In Our Marriage.
The Next Is How To Identify The Person
That Is Supposed To Be Your Partner.
As A Brother, You Are Looking For The
Mother Of Your Children.
That'S Your Future Life.
Please Put A Line On This.
You Are Looking For The Mother Of Your
Children In The Future.
That'S Your Future Life.
The Reason Why I Stress On The Future
Is Because Most Of Us Are Looking At
The Present.
And After A Few Days, What Happens?
That Thing Which Is Looking, Which Motivated Him
To Marry The Sister Is Not In Existence
Anymore.
And Then Lack Of Tolerance Will Exist And
They Will Never Enjoy Life Both Of Them.
But If You Have Bu'idh Nadha, You
Are Looking At The Future.
What Could Possibly Happen In The Future?
Then You Take A Person Who You Believe
Be In The Light, As Though She Will
Support Your Plans In The Future.
So You Want To Have Good And Excellent
Progeny.
You Have To Make A Proper Foundation.
As A Sister, You Are Looking For Somebody
Who Will Be The Father Of Your Kids.
Good Example For The Kids, The One That
You Don'T Need To Hide Them From Seeing
Him Because Of His Evil Manners And Behaviors.
And You'Re Looking For Somebody Who You
Will Be Believing That Yes, You Have Somebody
Next To You.
But This Is One Of The Mistakes That
We Are Making For Looking For Spouses.
Man Is Looking For What The Woman Is
Looking For And The Woman Is Looking For
What The Man Is Looking For.
Are We Looking For The Same Thing Together?
Male And The Female, Are They Both Looking
For The Same Thing In Marriage?
No, They'Re Not.
So Let Me Ask The Brothers And Also
You Can Ask, You Can Answer On Behalf
Of The Sisters If You Wish And They
Will Say You'Re Wrong.
What Is A Brother Looking With The Marriage?
What Are You Looking For?
Naturally, Not To Individual Interest.
I Know, Don'T Tell Me Is I'M Looking
For Somebody Like This And That, No.
Usually, What Is The Main Purpose Of A
Marriage?
What Should You Be Looking For Actually?
Peace, Comfort, Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala, Thank You
Very Much.
In The Quran, Allah Says We Gave Him
A Wife So That He Will Be Comforted.
So What Are You Looking For?
Comfort.
Somebody Who Can Be Acting As A Place
Of Comfort For You.
I Give You One Example And Inshallah, It'S
More Than Enough For You To Make A
Knowledge By Yourself.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Wa'Ta'Ala When He First Experienced
Seeing Jibreel In The Cave Of Hira, True?
That Was The First Time He Saw Jibreel
Alayhis Salaam, True?
Yes.
When He Saw Jibreel, Was He Happy With
Jibreel?
As-Salamu Alaykum, Welcome, Ahlan Wa Sahlan, You
Know.
Was It Like That?
No, He Was Traumatized, But There'S No Way
For Him To Run Away.
Jibreel Asked Him, Iqra, He Said, Ma Ana
Bi Qara?
He Said, Fa Akhadhani Faqattani Hatta Balagha Minna
Al-Jahda He, I Mean, How The Prophet
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Unfolded Him?
He Said, I Perceived Death.
He Said, In Some Narration, I Feel That
My Ribs Are Going To Cross Each Other.
He Impressed Him So Much And Then He
Released Him.
He Said, Read.
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Told Him The
Same Thing.
Three Times It Was Happening And Then He
Let Him Alone And Recited Five Ayat Of
Surat Al-Alaq For Him.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Remembered Them.
Of Course, He Would Never Forget Them.
He Got This Punishment.
He Would Never Forget Them.
Where Did He Go?
To His Friends?
To His Office?
To The Marketplace?
Went To The Riva And Committed Suicide?
Never Did That.
Where Did He Go?
His Wife.
Wallahi My Dear Brothers, This Is A Very
Good Lesson For All Of Us.
Why Did She Go To The House?
Because She Knows He Has Somebody Who Is
A Place Of Comfort For Him.
Did She Do The Job?
Yes.
You Know When She Met Him?
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Was Scared.
This Part Of His Body Is Moving.
You Know When A Person Is Really Traumatized
When You See This Part Is Moving.
That'S Been The Heart Is Really Shaking So
Much.
When Khadijah Saw Him, She Said What Happened?
And Then He Started To Telling Her The
Story.
Khadijah Was Listening.
She Wasn'T Traumatized.
She Listened Carefully And Then She Told Him
No, Relax.
I Don'T See It In This Way.
Subhanallah, Positive Thinking.
She Told Him I Don'T See It In
This Way.
She Said No, Allah Will Never Put You
In This Situation.
She Wasn'T A Muslim At That Time, Right?
Because This Is The First Time Rasulullah Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam Encountered An Angel.
But Smartness Is Smartness, You Know.
Adab Is There Even In Jahiliyya Time.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Was Not Married To
An Idiot Or A Dumb Person.
He Is Married To A Very Smart Person.
So She Told Him Actually Is Nothing.
I Don'T See It Except In The Positive
Way.
Allah Will Never Neglect You, Allah Will Never
Embarrass You, Allah Will Never Do This To
You Because You Are Like This, You Are
Like This, You Are Like This, You Are
Like This.
And Then She Told Him To Make It
Easy For You To Understand.
I Have Somebody Who Has Experiences In These
Things More Than Me.
Let'S Go To Him And Have A Meeting
With Him.
Subhanallah, She Took Him To Warakah.
What Was A Trauma, Now It Became I
Mean A Blessing, Something That The Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam Enjoys.
He Went Out Looking For Jibril Alayhi Salaam.
Did She Do The Job?
Yes, As I Always Give This Example, Medical
Doctors Sometimes When You Go To Them, They
Know You Are In A Very Big Problem.
But They Will Listen To You And They
Will Tell Inshallah You Will Be Okay.
Right?
To Give You Comfort.
Imagine If You Go To The Medical Doctor
And You Crying, You Know, Explaining To Him
And He Also Start Crying.
Honestly Speaking, Would You Be Comfortable To Continue
Mentioning That To Him?
You Will Go Out.
But They Will Remain Calm.
They Will Tell, They Know Maybe According To
Their Signs, Your Days Are Numbered.
You Might Be Dying In A Few Days.
They Just Cannot Tell You That But They
Will Tell You Inshallah, We Will Try Our
Best.
We Will Try Our Best To See You
Survive Inshallah.
So That Was Done By Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam.
This Shows That A Person Should Choose Somebody
Who Can Grant Him The Comfort.
As A Brother, This Is What You'Re
Looking For.
A Smart Person That Can Help You To
Get Relief From All The Obstacles And Pressure
You Got When You Are Out Of The
House.
When You'Re Coming Back From The Work
To The House, What Are You Looking For?
Place Of Comfort To Relax, To Forget Everything.
If Your Wife Is Not Like That, That'S
Why Some Of Us Will Stay In The
Office Until 12 A.M. At Night.
I'M Not Going To Blame Anyone But Sometimes
I Wonder Why Would I Stay In The
Office Until Very Late At Night?
Is That Clear?
How About The Sisters?
What Are They Supposed To Be Looking For?
Protection.
They Call It A Div.
Having The Feeling And The Belief That She
Is Next To Somebody Who Cares For Her.
That'S Why Who Got Tired Of Marriage The
Most?
Brothers Or The Sisters?
Sisters.
Brothers Don'T Get Tired Of Marriage.
Sisters Get Tired Of It.
That'S Why They Remember When The Marriage Happens.
And You?
You Remember When The Marriage Happened?
You Don'T.
Seriously, They Remember.
You Don'T.
You Are Counting The Seconds Before The Marriage.
When Is It Going To Happen?
But Right After The Marriage, You Forgot.
She Remembers.
This Is Who We Are.
That'S Why When Abdullah Ibn Abbas Said Maimunah
Married To The Prophet Salallahu Alaihi Wasalam When
He Was Performing Umrah And Maimunah Said No,
We Married When He Wasn'T A Mu'tamil.
The Scholars Took Her Opinion Because She Remembers
Even Maybe More Than Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
He Would Ask Her.
As I Told Some Of You That When
I Went To Register My Child To Get
The Birth Certificate, The Guy Asked Me, Did
You Bring The Marriage Certificate?
I Said All Of My Children Wasn'T Asked
About This.
He Said Yes, It'S True.
But Now Then We Have The New Law,
New System That You Have To Bring This.
I Said No Problem.
I Have But I Have To Go Back
Then.
He Said No, I Don'T Need It Physically.
I Just Need The Date Of Marriage.
When Did You Marry?
I Said I Told Him That'S Mushkila.
Well, He Asked Me.
I Told Him I Forgot.
He Said Ask Your Family.
I Called Them.
When I Asked Them, You Know, They Did
Not Think.
They Told Me Exactly When Was It.
Then I Go Back To That Debate Of
The Scholars.
I Favor The Opinion Of The Majority Of
The Scholars That Yes, The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam Married Maimuna When He Wasn'T A Mu'min
Because She Said It.
Almost, Almost Of It.
You Get It.
So What The Sister Is Looking For Is
What We Call A Difference.
The Problem Lies When She Started Looking For
What The Brother Is Wanting And The Brother
Started Looking For What The Sisters Are Looking
For.
Then They Are Going To Have A Lot
Of Clashes In Marriage.
So To Cut The Story Short, You Really
Need A Lot Of Thinking.
Don'T Rush When Choosing A Spouse.
Trust Me, My Dear Brother, This Is Out
Of Love.
I'M Saying This To You.
You Will Cry Like The Way I See
People Crying.
I Just Cannot Share With You.
The Moment I See People Crying Because Of
The Marriages And They Were Married To People
Who They Never Expect Them To Be Like
This.
But Marriage Became Like * For Them.
But If You Are To Ask Them To
Tell You About The Way They Married, You
Will Say Yeah, No Wonder They Are Facing
These Type Of Obstacles.
So Since Most Of You Are Not Married
Yet, I Really Advise You It'S Not Too
Late To Change And To Think Wisely.
They Are Looking For Somebody Who Will Be
Making You Happy In The Future In Your
Life.
And That'S What The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
Said You Should Be Doing.
So Think Wisely Before You Select The Person
That You Want To Be Next To You,
Whether A Brother Or The Sister For The
Brothers.
Is That Clear, Inshallah?
The Next Is How To Look For The
Marriage And How To Propose To Somebody.
The Voice Is Reaching Me Then I Sorry.
Who To Propose To And How To Propose?
You Get It.
Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Says This Is The
Quran, Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Advised And Commanded
Both To Lower Their Gaze.
But Islamically At The Same Time Also Is
Not Recommended For A Person To Marry Somebody
That He Doesn'T Know.
So There Are Three Things That I Will
Emphasize On, Inshallah.
I Will Start And Then We Stop For
The Prayer.
When I Come Back I Just Continue.
Number One, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said Usually
A Woman Is Being Married For One Of
The Four Reasons, Either Because Of The Beauty,
This Is Number One, Right?
Or Because Of The Hassan, Meaning She Has
A Very Nice Family Background.
Somebody Wants To Be Affiliated To Those Ones.
I Remember Subhanallah, There Was A Boy That
I Told Him About A Sister Who Is
Looking For A Spouse.
I Told Him We Have A Sister Like
This And She Belongs To This Family.
Subhanallah, He Was So Happy.
He Said It Is An Honor For Me
To Have Connection To This Family.
This Is Exactly What The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam Said.
Sometimes Because Of The Position, She'S In The
Government, In The Politics.
Sometimes Because Of The Wealth, She'S Rich.
Also, We Have A Lot Of People Who
Are Married To Sisters Because They Are Rich.
And Sometimes A Person Married Because Of The
Deed, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said I Advise
You To Take Somebody Who Has Deed, He
Will Be Successful.
That'S Number One, Deen.
Number Two, Good Manners.
Deen Also Includes Good Manners, But Sometimes We
Need To Separate Between The Two Because You
Might Find A Person Who Is Very Dedicated
To Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala But When It
Comes To Relationship With Others, Very Bad.
Is It True?
Yes.
In The Masjid, MashaAllah, Every Time In The
Masjid, Giving Khutbah, Giving Talks, Student Of Knowledge
And Whatever, But Then When It Comes To
Life With Others, Audhu Billah.
It'S Like You Are Dealing With Shaytan.
Seriously.
So Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said, You Should
Get Somebody Who Has Deen And Also At
The Same Time Has Good Manners.
Two Things The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Mentioned
When He Says Itha Ataakum Man Tarzauna Deenahu
Wa Khuluqahu Fazawujuhu For The Brothers Also And
The Sisters Are Looking For Somebody They Should
Also Focus On Deen And Good Manners.
These Are The Only Things Mentioned By The
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
The Next That We Can Add Which We
Take Also From Other Nasus Is To See
That Person To Look At Him Or Her
To See Whether You Will Be Comfortable To
Stay With Him Or Not.
And Beauty And Ugliness Is Subjective.
Is It True?
That'S Why What Mazin Sees And He Says,
Masha'Allah.
If Waqas Sees He Will Say Audhu Billah.
He Will Not, That'S True.
Mazin Might See Something And Say I'M Willing
To Pay Anything To Get This.
Waqas Will Say Even A Single Cent I
Will Not Pay For This.
That'S The Reason Why We'Re Looking For
A Spouse.
Who Should Do The Job For You?
Yourself.
And You Shouldn'T Care About What Some People
Are Saying.
I'M Mentioning This Because I Know According To
Some Of The Cultures.
Your Mother Have To Agree With The Beauty
Of Your Wife.
Your Brothers Also Sometimes They Have To Agree.
Well, I Don'T Know.
Why Do We Stick To Those Cultures Up
To Date?
Because In Those Cultures I See A Sister
Just Like The Product That You Go And
Buy In The Marketplace.
Otherwise, It Doesn'T Even Make Sense That I
Want To Marry A Sister.
But Then My Brothers They Have To Come
And See And Look At Her.
It'S Just Like I Bought The Car.
They Come And See Whether It'S Okay Or
Not.
You Will Not, That'S How I See It.
She Has To Come.
They Have To Approve First.
If They Don'T Approve Then Nobody Will Sign
With Me In That Marriage.
And That'S Wrong.
Islam Wants You To Go And See First.
If You Agree, You Take.
Your Father Agree.
He Doesn'T Agree.
That His Business.
Because What Somebody Agrees With You Might Not
Agree With.
So That'S Why Since You Are The One
Who Will Be Staying With That Person, You
Should Be The One Who Go And Look
For, Look At That Person To See Whether
You Will Be Satisfied In Living With Them
Or Not.
So These Are The Only Three Things I
Know In Islam That Islam Says You Must
Make Sure That You Fulfill Them Before You
Propose To Marry Somebody.
Religion, Good Manners, And And Also The Look
According To You Or According To Him.
So Inshallah In The Next Session, We Even
Light Allah After The Prayer.
I Will Shed Light On These And Then
Move Forward, Inshallah.
Thank You Very Much.
Barakallahu Fikum.
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.