Hussain Yee – Building A Happy Marriage And Family

			I have a parable to present, which explains about the integrity of the family. In Islam.
		

			The parable is about a garden,
		

			which has
		

			some vegetation and plantation and this garden produces fruits that benefit the whole community. The
whole world actually, if you have a garden here and the garden there and the garden there, and they
all are producing fruits that benefit everyone, as the Prophet salatu salam said, that whoever
plants, a any, any kind of vegetation, then whenever any animal any bird any being with a soul eats
from it, that person gets a reward. So, also people and families in correct correctly handled
families, they get reward for the fruits that they are producing to other humans even and in a
better way than the there was for normal vegetation.
		

			But the important thing is that this family should be established like the garden established on
correct Foundation, and the correct foundation starts from day one. So should they should not wait
let's say for a year or two to pass and then they start building their family correctly. It has to
start actually from before they want anyone you plant,
		

			start a garden, you go and purchase the seeds and the seeds have to be good seeds, so that you can
plant them and get good trees and good fruits.
		

			Getting good seeds means getting a good spouse making sure that your spouse is righteous and the
other spouse is righteous. And then when they get together, they start their marriage in a righteous
way, which means they do not start their marriage by violations from the wedding night by doing lots
of
		

			prohibited things like what we do what we hear about and some of the weddings, for example, music
and alcohol and dancing and mixing and so on. And if a person starts on the left step on the wrong
foot, sorry on the wrong foot, then how can you expect him to fix himself and go to the right foot
later on, it is possible but he makes the climb it makes his life more difficult and he and she are
required to make serious Toba so that allows origin would preserve their family unit for them
otherwise the family unit will fall down we break down and they would have started it's breaking
down from the first moment. So building a good family unit raising a nice fruitful garden starts
		

			from before they want so that on day one, you you do the what you should do and the right way the
wedding and then what follows the wedding until the children come out and then you handle them you
raise them you bring them up in the most correct manner to please Allah subhanaw taala and be a
pleasure to the oma and later on to the Prophet Mohammed salatu salam on the Day of Judgment where
he will be boasting about the numbers of his true followers.
		

			What do you think?
		

			I think yeah, we we all agreed upon that it's very important to have the right intention here when
you will do anything in my opinion and that we are here to construct to develop not to destroy and
in the same time what the prophets or some have said is so true based on what you just shared with
us that
		

			when you want to marry somebody you should be very selective to you could do not just pick up
anybody under now on the road and now Oh, okay because she looked beautiful, he look handsome, no,
no, we must be selective like just what you say about planting a tree you until you should get a
good seat from the beginning. And also the soil must be good and everything must come together. I
believe that the Prophet have given us guide and Masha Allah, that when you want to get married,
look for four things and know the beauty, the line age, the the wealth, and the religion or come to
religion. The Prophet not just stopped there. He emphasized later on that not only he is a believer,
		

			or a believing or man or men but they have adapt they have right up
		

			Clap. So Masha Allah, I think we as Muslim have been blessed that we have this guidance from Allah,
Allah, Allah Ameen, and also from our Prophet, some Muslim, where majority of the Muslim Ummah
		

			do not have this understanding, then the obvious they're saying they say, love is blind, you know,
because I love, I don't care anymore, I don't see what is in her belief, what is and what is up key
down and everything is not important. So Alhamdulillah, I think if we are guided properly, with
there will be a lot of blessing. And that's how my word data will come in. Because the intention was
correct. And we make the right choices, right? anything in life, we want to choose no food, our
dress, our shoes, everything going to come to the relation between husband and wife, oh, god, this
is more important because this is the nearest to you. They are common to each other. And nothing is
		

			nearer to humans than their own governments who are not the boss or the boss or the hoonah. So I
believe that it's very important that what you just said, to make the right.
		

			Yeah, so Pamela and I know cases where brothers fell in love with sisters, with a woman, let's say,
and they got married. And then after a short while, a few months, they tell me they come and Yanni
explained to me or complained to me that Subhanallah This is not a woman that I'm sleeping with, or
next to every night, I feel like I'm sleeping next to a shaitana like a she devil. And but you are
the one who fell in love with her. And you thought that she is the most beautiful being in the
world. And this tells us that beauty actually is not the appearance of beauty. It is the beauty of
the heart. And as for the apparent beauty, it's going to fade away and sometimes very soon as I
		

			mentioned, when the woman is so evil and short, so unrighteous, then you will quickly realize that
you have made the wrong choice.
		

			So that is why the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said firpta is that the dignitary Bhatia, the aqsiq,
the one who has the good religion, the good faith, that everybody dies, and he said that the best of
woman is the woman that if you look at her, she pleases you. And he gave other qualities for her but
this was one of them. If you look at her she pleases you means she pleases you when a hair with the
hair, not necessarily with her physical beauty but with their attitude with her.
		

			Other with their religiousness, righteousness and so on. So when you look at their you feel you feel
that your heart is pleased and satisfied that this is a trustworthy woman. You fully trust her with
your life with your children with your wealth with everything because she proved that she is
dependable. Otherwise, I mean you marry a very beautiful woman. And then she becomes as I mentioned
earlier, in your eyes, a shaitana. So when you look at her, you are not happy to look at her. You
hate her. And you try to find a way to divorce her to get rid of her. That's a lot of you. I mean, I
mean, yeah, but we believe that a family is not just from one side No, both sides must work together
		

			closely certain that
		

			like the men one the best one the woman in the same thing the men must give the best to their wife.
That's why the prophets are Muslims it clear to come clear come the aliana hydrilla Holly, the best
amount of men is that because he is very good to his friend only or the best worker to the employer,
but he is the best to his wife. You know that mean? The wife is like a big Amana for him. I seen a
lot of brothers they want the best they always complain about the sisters you know, but they forgot
that no you want the best you must give the gift the best you can ensure the good example but they
become so selfish to their wife and know when they want to buy things for themselves exam example.
		

			They go for all the good quality kind of things now but when to buy something for the world they go
to all the big shop on Tesco Jaya and the cheap stuff No,
		

			don't don't don't go for the expensive Bezier but come to them they go for the best they show that
the men also have been very
		

			selfish and very wrong. That if they want the best or they said they should give the best to the
wife I believe so that by showing good example from us as a husband first, inshallah, even the wife
		

			have their own witnesses here and then they will change because we are guiding them because the
husband is is the Protector, the original caumon Elisa, they are leaders so leaders who set example
first and inshallah there'll be a lot of blessing Rama from Allah Allah Allah mean Will you like to
make any other I fully agree with this and he that many of the problems that we hear about within
families and the men complain about it's because of their actions their attitude and the family they
do not spend enough time with the wife or the children and they are very abusive, abusive in dealing
		

			with their family and then they expect their family to be submissive and nice and good mannered, but
this will not work I mean, action will demand a reaction and
		

			and this reaction is bad manners from the wife because it was prompted by the husband So yeah,
that's definitely it if you go back to the Sierra the Prophet sallahu was was the best example for
all of us. He always helped the household in the house whatever the they have to do at home, they
helped the wife to do the to do some cleaning up and so on. But today most of the men they just help
themselves you know, they're not all men inshallah there'll be some good guys around but it's time
for the men to change that you're the one who prepare football this example is normally our wife no
and then at least No, we do the cleaning up responsible enough to show them that we can be loved we
		

			understand they have they are tied to their human like us but to cook to prepare for it normally it
takes more times then the clean but as less just last thing I'd like to add here is that just
example the beauty of Islam that even the woman and the men have to pass when Ramadan come in by the
woman sometime last quarter so not the law, they will have the holidays official holiday they have
their
		

			menses and so on. And then Allah does not allow them to even pray they don't have to pray they don't
have to fast but now they still have to prepare for the husband and the husband insists if you don't
prepare then maybe I'm be very angry with you know you are the cause that I don't have my cell phone
or something I my person then advise to the men if I have give the woman a break and I think to be a
good husband, you should give
		

			it over he says you have a break from salah and fasting. You just raised No I will prepare all you
prepare in earlier before you go to bed and then suffer the man just wake up by himself and just
have some Sahaja hamdulillah and I always say that to the men as it please. You must feel for them.
No, it's not easy. The Wives work 24 hours and they never complain. We work for eight hours at the
Newseum no I'm very tired and I'm sorry I cannot do this. I cannot do that The Omen Masha Allah
before you wake up, they wake up before us and then they start to do everything they cook they clean
they wash the iron and they look after the children Allah but this fantastic No, be no holla
		

			male lovely what all of them and May Allah also give the right feeling and understanding from the
men not to be selfish. Don't just want the best from the why but you don't give them the best of you
inshallah. So Allah blesses, and May Allah subhanahu wa taala help those who help themselves and
pleased by the NCC in family life, we know that we will be tested by Allah on and off because now we
are not with our parent now we have our own family. So please always have an open mind of the Spirit
of Shura discussion and seek advice from the righteous people. So that inshallah we will have the
best way to overcome whatever problem that we encounter in our daily life as husband and wife
		

			and May Allah protect us from all Phaeton
		

			mean, for the later 50 we're afraid that when Al Hamdulillah alameen Subhana, Allah from Hamdi
shadowline
		

			kawakubo A Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.