Hussain Kamani – Islamic Manners #08
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding embarrassment, respecting one's behavior, and not giving up on advice. They also stress the need to act on advice given to others and avoid giving advice that is not appropriate. The importance of being aware of one's behavior and not giving advice that is not appropriate is emphasized. The speakers also offer advice on how to be mindful of one's position and suggest avoiding embarrassment and disregarding one's partner's position.
AI: Summary ©
Today we continue with Chef puppet fatawa. What does work mean other stuff from the chapter titled inspection.
Following
inspection, when you enter the home of your brother or friend, whether as a visitor or an overnight guests do not closely examine its conference, as an inspector would limit your gaze during your stay to what you need to see, do not walk in closets or boxes, do not inspect a wallet or package or covered objects. This is against summit manners, and is an impolite betrayal of the trust your host has afforded to you by allowing you to enter his home and reside there. And people like for this would cultivate love and respect for you in the heart of your host, may Allah Subhana Allah protect you and take care of.
Here he brings up a very important point.
It is slow.
The default is to respect the honor of another individual.
Every human being is afforded a level of dignity and honor.
And it's our responsibility to respect that privacy of theirs. And not to go around snooping in searching for ways to insult them, or find flaws that may or even may not exist.
Generally, people tend to do this. And this is what should he refers to as the justice. And someone who does the justice is called a justice, a spy.
Lots of Hanover data says,
Yeah, you will let you know when it's done, he will get the wrong one. In the barber bun if we
wanna do justice, and do not spy on one another.
At times, a person spies by
listening to that which they're not supposed to be listening to.
Sometimes your mom and dad are talking to you struck paying extra attention to listen to something that you want to hear. This is called the Justice it's hieronymous.
Similarly, sometimes an individual spies another through looking
that happens, maybe someone's text message and you know that you shouldn't be looking at you peek around, what's mama sending a message? What's my brother's? What's his phone line message and you look over the shoulder to have a little look, someone may receive a phone call, and you quickly glance at that person's screen, what kind of phone call are they getting, who was getting the phone call who's giving the phone call. So these are all things that are related to a person's private life, and no one should pry into it.
Similarly, sometimes what happens is it's not just a matter of looking to see what's available in front of you. Sometimes, what people will do is, they'll actually go and seek for the private affairs of people. They'll try to read certain things and piece things together to find their flaws. But a sort of laughs at a long set of strictly for vagueness, and look for an openly forbids this to maybe cinema while he was sitting One day while he was addressing the companions. He said, Oh, those of you for who he man is on their tongue and on their hearts. And then he began to give them some advice. And one of the things that he said was not to just say, Don't spy on one another, learn to
trust other people. If you trust other people, they will then offer that trust back to you. And you'll see the best in them. But if you keep cheating people by by spying on them again and again. First of all, they won't trust you. And secondly, they will give up on trying to uphold proper decorum with their with people because they think what's the point? What's the point living properly when everyone's just going to spy on me and not respect my privacy anyway, with friends with anyone around you. This is the sort of stuff people do as a joke. And that's usually where it starts off. Let's pull a quick prank and look at somebody's phone. Let's pull a quick prank and look at
somebody's messages. Let's log into their social media account now that we have the passport of that person left their phone and attended. So let's have a look inside. You're sitting in someone's living room and there is a paper upside down. Let's turn it around and read the contents of this document. Someone has a drawer Let's open it and let's look inside. There's a medicine cabinet there. Let me look inside there. You may have some humor in your mind. But when you invade someone's privacy, you don't know how it's going to end. And when you do this, you have to ask yourself
Would it bring joy and happiness to them? And maybe a question to ask, hopefully you can answer this properly is how would I feel if someone crosses boundaries with me? You know,
having relationships is very important. But at times it's difficult to find people who actually know how to respect boundaries, who know that this is the end of the relationship and we don't go past this.
There are two words we find in the heartbeat of a sort of loss of a loved one.
The first word we find is whenever you sit alone while he was still upset, not just says Sue.
And then in one narration right after he said lot that just says Sue, which means don't spy. He also said a lot the hustle what the heart.
So what's the difference between these two things, the hustlers who also means to snoop around to look around to invest in something.
Some scholars, they say that
there is no difference between the Justice and the hustle. It's just different mediums that a person sleeps on another personal investigation person's private affairs. Some say that the justice is to look for
a person's flaws, whilst the hustlers is to look for someone's praise behind their back.
Consider use of Allah azza wa jal uses this word
for the hustle that iacobelli salaam said to the brothers that go in search for Yusuf Ali said, use of a fee when they assume the rohilla. right he said to them, go back and search regarding investigate regarding use of going find out about use of funny saddam and his brothers, these are decades later. So they we find that word we use but the majority of the scholars are of the position that the two are generally not permitted. And the two are one which is to snoop around and to look into people's private affairs. So here he tells us that he says it very well. Where
do you not closely examine its contents as an inspector What? When you enter into someone's home, you want to ask yourself, Am I coming as someone that's been invited to have a good time together to share a meal together? Or am I coming here as an inspector, someone is coming to make comments on their interior design and trying to make comments on what this is what that is. Because if you're coming as an inspector, then in reality, you're betraying the trust of the person will open their doors to you.
So you have to be mindful of this, and respect other people's privacy. Yes.
Timing your visit, by the way on that previous point, if you go out of your way to respect people's privacy, they will love you for it. They'll appreciate it. When someone gets a, sometimes at home, I'll get a text message. And my son will look at me and I'll say stuff that a lot.
Although absorb from lower your gaze you're not supposed to be looking at.
And it's not a matter of me receiving any private message. I'm quite an open book at home. And I make it very clear to my family, I always leave my phone line route unlocked. So that way, they know that I have nothing to hide. But at the end of the day, it's a matter of therapy, that you shouldn't get used to looking at other people's phones. Right.
So although I'm sort of lower, your gaze suffered a lot, and then sometimes I'll get a message and he knows that I'm already paying attention towards him before I even look on my phone. So he'll turn his face away, and I'll say, I'll handle that.
That's the proper response, your your, your initial response should be to turn away. And that creates respect. I said this to my children too, that the more that I can know that you won't snoop around and not spy, the more I will respect you. And the more I will want to share with you. But if I see you going into places that you shouldn't be, I will lose that trust in you. And what that means is information you would have got from me directly will no longer be yours, because the trust is gone. But if you open up this, this relationship of respect and you don't snoop around, that I would be excited to share everything that you're trying to look for, but on my own accord on my own
on my own timeline, when I think it's best for you to know it. So in Islam, this is something that we have worked avoid and this is where I made this comment because of what he says he says Be polite for this we cultivate love and respect for you in the heart of your host right and this is what shall be referred to as also indicating towards Yes.
Can your visit choose an appropriate for your visit? Do not visit an inconvenient time. Such
mealtimes when people are sleeping, resting or relaxing, the length of your visit should be in accordance with your relationship with your hosts, as well as in accordance to their circumstances and conditions. Do not overstay your welcome by making your visit too long or burdensome. Mmm no love the island says in his book.
It is strongly recommended for Muslims to visit pious people and brothers, neighbors, friends, relatives, and to be generous time and obliging. However, the duration of the visit varies according to the host circumstances, the visit ought to be conducted in a pleasant manner, and at times convenient to them. There are numerous Hadith, and sayings in this regard, when you address your host, only discuss appropriate topics together with maintaining brevity in your speech. If you are the youngest in the gathering, then you should only speak when responding to a question posed to you by someone unless you are certain that your input will be effective, leave an impression, and that
it will please those present, do not be lengthy in your speech. neither should you be careless in your settings, posture and matter manner of address. All of this is
the whole thing, every piece of it.
The first thing he mentions is when you go to visit someone time.
Be mindful. For some people, the evenings work better for others, the daytime works better.
They may not be in a position to host you. So when it's meal time, don't go there. If you know someone has just returned from a visit, it may be better not to visit them. Someone is sick, maybe it's better not to visit them because they're probably still recovering, or they're right at the thick of their illness. And they may prefer to be alone. While on the other hand, there's another person who's sick and they appreciate people visiting them because it's different person to person. There are people that I know, in my community who are close to me, they thrive off of the weekend parties that happen every week, in every weekend out. Because what I'm talking about, like those,
like you know the dog dizzy, dog with the dollars and dinners every week, there's three or four dinners. It's not just specific dogs and visitors, everyone. There's that body type, there's that personality type of thrives off of those dinners. They really enjoy getting all dressed up and getting excited and showing up and having a whole sort of thing. And then the hoo ha that happens every week and they like it. And there's another person who's a homebody, can't stand it. They're not interested in that. And if you gave them a ticket to travel across the country for a party, they would say No, thank you. And another person, if you give them a free ticket that travel across the
country for a party, they'll say can I have two
different types of people, you have to be mindful of that when you're interacting with people. Some are more sociable and they enjoy company while others prefer to be left alone. Or they prefer to meet people in small groups, or they're more brief in their conversations and they don't enjoy having people staying over for a long time.
This is common, I think it's probably one of the most common things that happens in our community. And maybe everyone here has experienced this multiple times in their life that someone comes over and you're excited to have them over but they're not getting the hint
that this is over. It's time for you to go back. I'm happy that you came we had a great meal together. But it's time for you to now leave as if you overstay what ends up happening is the person who was really happy to have you over is now annoyed by you
and you just messed it up.
Allah subhanahu wa taala addresses this because it's happened during the time of a sort of loss of a loved one.
Maybe you sort of love it was sort of got married and he invited people over for a walima so people gather together and they all brought some food and they had a gathering but what happened was they were a group of people who wouldn't leave.
They just hung out extra nobody said a lot while he was sitting down did not like that these people were still there. But he was too shy to say anything. So they hung around further and further until I got referred onwards to
Allah subhana wa tada revealed verses of the Quran that fade out into fantasy you will understand standing seen and once you've eaten your food, it's time for you to leave. And that's actually a really good marker. Have all your conversations before the meal is served. Once the meal is served and everyone's been eating that's a great way of just cutting off the gap and now it's time for everyone has slowly started and this was the Quran says fade out for him once you know eating now we're here
fantasea leaf spread up. When I was studying senior hardy don't hang around this
conversing with one another in the valley compared to you in the face, the human
being causes pain, it hurts at a certain loss and a lot of sentiment, he's too shy to speak. Well, Allahu Allah is the human. But Allah subhana wa Taala has no shyness is speaking the truth. And I have continued with body adapt, but how to interact with the Messenger of Allah and the family of the Messenger of Allah. Sort of Allah He was ceremony.
So when you go to visit someone time your visit, this is important. Some people appreciate the brief visit. Well, other people, they find it offensive that you only go for a brief time. They want you to stay longer, kind of have to read the room, read the conversation, read the vibe, and take it from there. The next thing that he quotes is a statement from your mama, no, we don't follow the order. in which he says that it is strongly recommended for Muslims to visit pious people,
brothers, neighbors, friends and relatives, and to be generous when you go to visit them.
This is a practice that I see has disappeared in our community.
When we were students and mothers, I remember this very clearly that if there was ever a senior scholar in the nearby vicinity, as students, we would go out to meet that scholar or do massage Haha, shake their hand requests wise and then we would leave. And that was it. There was no question answer, there was no ijazah it was simple, you would go shake a chef's hand, request them for two hours, if they had half an hour lecture laying on would sit a little and then you would leave. And throughout your life, you kept asking so many people for glass, so many people for the law. And the hope was that at the end of all of this, there, the eyes will help you and almost do our benefit.
In today's world, you don't see that anymore. I find people who haven't even met the Olimar and seniors in their own community,
let alone meet them. In many circumstances, they don't even know who they are in their own community. When I asked someone who is the Imam of your community, and they say chef,
that's usually a bad sign. That most likely means that you don't know your own community leader. So what kind of impact? Are they having a new beyond the generic lecture that's being delivered from the pulpit? And what kind of relationship do you have with that person? I was once in Madina munawwara and a young man who was driving a cab I had a conversation.
And as a part of that conversation, he learned that I was the mom. And he asked me, How do the folks out there engage with the youth and I said, you know, sporting activities, social activities, bowling is common people will you know, just play basketball together. And laser tag and you know, the kind of stuff that is common within youth work. And the whole thing just blew him away. He was just shocked. his jaw was like in his lap. And he's thinking to himself really, because for him the interaction that he had with his with the with the seniors in his community was very different.
Beyond the pulpit, you would see your Imam maybe at a wedding or a janazah. Or maybe you would see him at the hospital, the birth of a child, but that was it.
So you must learn to build good relationships with the scholars in your community. So you learn from them, so you benefit from them. When I was young, this is something that I saw my parents doing whenever there was a scholar visiting, or let alone scholar, because we lived in small town, Kentucky. Even if there were people of religion, anyone that had any religious resemblance on them, my parents would invite them. And then they would cook some food together and serve a little table. And at the end of it, my father would say to us Buddha to look around Santa come and read some fun for them. And I'm like, No, I'd run in the room. And my brother ships with being he was on into the
room as well. And we were both your hiring and he said, Hey, where did you guys go? So but Toby don't Ray, we're looking for a hat. Then he should say maybe I can I can use my eyes and find that you'll find them faster. He this conversation every time. And then he would come in my brother and I would look at each other. I'd say I got what the is like I got one done. We had the things that we read every time. But there was Baraka because as children we saw that our father gave respect to him. This is what I remember, not just on a map but pious people. Right? Anyone that came with them, leave them out to our community.
My mother used to cook food Alhamdulillah for the entire Gema during their entire state.
Because that was her honor. She would tell us my brother and I that go drop the food off. So we'd go to the message. And then we take the food and put it out and then the people they would and she would do this for every meal. Every time there was the museum and
my father necessary
He wasn't someone who was you know very much involved but he wasn't not involved as well.
This atmosphere for Muslims visit your home you sit you provide them with a little basic together they request you otherwise you request there the wise end of the gathering it creates.
I always reference
this
audio that I heard
an interview delivered by Mufti Muhammad Shafi Aslan,
in this lecture,
the interviewer asked him,
tell us about your childhood.
So he starts off by saying, This is probably one of the this was a gem, because I don't know who recorded it. But whoever recorded it did a killer job, because you can hear the audio being very old and very cranky.
But it was a blessing to hear it. in there. He said that you asked who I am. He said, I'm nobody. However, I was born in a city, where as children we would play on the streets. And one of the greatest blessings of Allah upon me was that, while we will be playing in the streets of our village, there were so many machines if and only out of Allah that would walk past us, and every time they would walk past us, they would lay eyes on us, hopefully make dua for us, we would lay eyes on them and make dua for them. And he said that was the beginning of Allah Baraka, Allah's mercy in our lives.
This is how he introduces himself, he actually admits it back to those childhood memories of having shaken it for them from day one, walking past and making glad for them. Right. So he says here, that it is strongly recommended for Muslims to visit pious people.
Brothers and sisters, neighbors, friends, and relatives. And when you do go to visit them, Be generous and take gifts as well. It increases muhabba Yes, then he says, The last part.
When you do go to visit someone, be mindful of what you speak of. Don't be true to intrusive.
And when you do speak, keep it brief.
You ever meet that person who you start a conversation with, and they just can't stop talking?
to this could go on and on and on.
Don't be that person. Don't hog up the conversation. As you're speaking, take breaks, stop speaking every now and then, if you notice that for the past 60 seconds, you've been talking non stop. And there's rule of 15 people here unless you were invited to speak. And people really want you to speak because they're asking you a question and they want your perspective. Unless that's the case, it's better for you to stop. Don't keep talking about things. Because what ends up happening is you tend to make things about yourself and other people get ignored in the conversation.
You should be worked towards including people in the conversation, asking them how are they doing? So tell me about your perspective. Tell me about this engage people, it increases my hub, and they will enjoy your companionship even more. The last thing that he says in this paragraph, which I think is also very beautiful, is that if you are the youngest in the gathering, then you should only speak when responding to a question posed to you by some.
If you have adults sitting in a gathering, and there is a young person there.
Yes, we want to encourage young folks to take the lead and build confidence and learn to engage with adults. But the default other is that in the presence of adults, children should learn to listen more and talk less.
Unless what you have to say is valuable.
You guys know the story of him nominally a lot. One.
He was once sitting with me. He said a lot while he was sitting in a public gathering. And the purpose of the law while he was sitting described a particular type of tree and said, which tree is it?
The Sahaba sat there. If no matter the Allahu anhu was a child, he knew the answer. But he didn't answer when they left the message out of other hedonism because he felt there were seniors there and it wasn't displeased.
When they left a message they were going home, he told his mother on one of your loved one. I knew that answer.
And I'm going to be a long one. See, why didn't you see it? It would have been so much joy for one of your loved one but his son was the one who knew the answer even though seniors have overstayed him. And then he responds
that they were senior to me so I chose to remain silent.
And this is important because as a young person when you learn to stay silent in the presence of elders, you learn there is a record and other mother honor of elders.
It goes a long way in your life. But just because you have something to say, doesn't mean you should say it.
Just because your mind is thinking something, doesn't mean you should type it. Just because your heart feels something doesn't mean you should tweet it. You have to learn to keep thoughts to yourself. This is a type of support, some type of silence, that you hold back and you only speak that which you know, will be appreciated by the people around you.
Yes, and then at the end end of this, he says that, neither should you careless, be careless in your sitting posture. And matter of address. This is an important one, by the way.
When you're sitting with people, in particular, if it is a mixed gathering, if there are brothers and sisters in the same area, it's very important that you sit in a way that is not immodest.
Right. Some of the stuff I'm about to say may be really obvious, but it feels like the whole purpose of this book is stating the obvious.
You should be mindful of the people that are around you.
When we look at Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam education and how he taught the companions to sit. The one thing that he emphasizes a lot is that when you're sitting with people, make sure you want cover,
to not sit in a fashion where your body is exposed.
So you'll find in some narrations, Debbie said a lot of sort of forbade companions from sitting in a way that their bottom is on the ground and their knees are lifted. But that was in a context where people usually only wore one garment. So their undergarments, the underbody would be exposed. Are you guys following me here? Similarly, a person has only one sheet, and he ties himself inside there in a way that both hands are inside. Now he's awesome. So don't do that. Because if something happens, and you have to respond quickly, when you go to open the sheet, your body will be open again. So you should be mindful of the way you sit. Do not direct yourself in sitting in a way where
your private area is directed towards someone, try to sit in a way where there is a garment that covers you, then your own body covers you. Similarly, if you're sitting in front of someone that is from the opposite gender, sisters and brothers, make sure that your body is properly covered, which means every now and then you might just have to go back and check what was going on that covered yeses and 100. Or if you're running a pension, you know, go back covered. Yes, it is 100. No one's saying to be paranoid. But you should check up on yourself to make sure that in all times, you're being modest, sometimes you're sitting in front of someone or you're having a conversation or
meeting another person decides to go into full yoga mode while they're stretching, and it gets really uncomfortable.
You have to be mindful of that. Right? These are all considerations.
So here he says that when you're sitting with people being mindful of the way you sit, I think this issue is much more important when you're sitting with the opposite gender. But if it's the same gender among themselves, and usually it's not such a big issue, obviously, because there's so much more leniency in Islam than but at the same time, you shouldn't sit in an arrogant way as well. neither should you sit in a way that you occupy way more space than you need to. And this is something he's going to mention ahead. So I'll save those comments for that. For that time for that discussion.
Reading again, when you enter your first read,
if you want to shake hands and
begin with the most knowledgeable, the most pious, the older or those who have similar summit distinctions, do not overlook the most distinguished or the most eminent and start with the first on your writing. This is
here's trying to point something out. He says what I've seen is that people enter into the room and rather than meeting the most senior person in the gathering, the age or a knowledge or whatever it may be, they'll start with shaking hands with the person to their right.
All they do is to start by shaking hands with a person to their right when the proper other is that if there's a senior in the room, you go to that senior you shake their hand, and then you go to their right.
Do you guys understand this? Later on, he's gonna quit heavy to support this, but I'll share it with you now. A person once came to a gathering and offered milk to the sort of loss of a lot of money.
Thereafter,
there was a senior companion sitting to the left of abuse of a loved one he was sitting and there was a junior companion sitting to the
right of a sort of lost,
maybe sort of level it will set them set to the junior one that if I had your permission, I'd like to give it to the senior as a hobby to my side. He said our messenger of Allah I won't give preference to anyone over myself. It's
baleka it's my turn, I'm taking that.
So she's on the Fatah. Hello Donna, after putting this narration, he says some people use this idea to establish you're always supposed to go to your right. Even if there is a senior to your left.
Do you guys understand the logic? He says, however, the heavy doesn't establish that.
Rather what it establishes, when the guy came with a milk, he didn't give it to the guy standing to his right, he gave it to the supermom first.
Thereafter, you go to the right, then you meet everyone else. But you always start with the one that is most distinguished in the gathering. If that's someone that is visible that you can see, imagine a sort of law cinema Hollywood cinema sitting there, and this guy started giving milk to other people without starting to the sort of loss of starting with a sort of loss of bodies. Someone can claim that's bad either.
First you give to the person you greet the person who was most senior in a gathering. This doesn't always have to be scholarly seniority could be age. It could be other merits that you're looking at. But you start with the closest person who's most distinguished in the cabinet. And then from there, you go to their right shoulder that says that's the other that we learn from this habit of Rasulullah sallallahu.
decide who's most reputable or if those president happened to be of similar status, then start with the owner, where they are easier to recognize asuma seven senators exalt the elderly insulting to say hey, listen, hey, hey.
Yeah, and at the Bahrani home about the ATA in a SWAT reported out of solo solo artist who has sudden said, start with the notables or in the center with the outer.
Okay.
He quotes his narration of one to Ronnie and his analysis.
But also the last little lesson, start with the notables and start with the elderly.
There's another Elijah where the puffs that Allahu it was it um, tells the companions to start with the elderly.
Yes, continue.
sitting between two persons, when you enter a gathering, do not sit between two persons gather sit on their left or right side as soon as possible, alright, at the session said, No one has to sit between two people without their permission. Because it is very early in the evening, to not sit between two people without their permission, two people are sitting side by side, don't let yourself sit on the side, sit on front sit behind wherever there space, don't slot yourself forcefully, in between those two people. Yes. And two people have ended up to make room for you to sit between them did not sit cross legged or on them, that's just really bad. So this happens a lot, by the way, you
know, someone's making space for you, you jump in, and then you make them feel very inconvenient, rather than taking into consideration that this person literally just accommodated.
So I should be the one that sits on my knees and consumes minimal space out of consideration because these people didn't have to give me the space. Yet they chose to give me the space. And I think this point is so powerful that it could
almost be applied in every aspect of life. When someone accommodates you don't abuse that and become a burden on them. Always remember, this individual accommodated. Therefore I need to make sure that them according accommodating me, does not come at a cost that they view me as a burden.
Right? someone invites you over to a gathering and you make sure you're the last one to show up. You're late, what the record is how it's supposed to be done. That person accommodated you. And now you've come late as well. That's not right. So never, you know, there are 100 examples of this that are literally roaming through my mind. You show up to someone's house, someone accommodates you for a dinner. And then without being considerate of everyone else, you take all the food, that's not right, take a little bit accommodate other people that person accommodated you. Now you need to accommodate other people. Right? And this is good luck that you wait till the end to make sure
everyone else is taken then at the end remembering that I was the last one to join them. This person accepted me so I should be mindful of that. You're you know you're playing sports or anything like that. I mean 100 examples that I can think of. If someone accommodates you, you should be humble and remember that
a save you set to person that are considered on a person to whom advice is offered and you take offense to it.
A person who was favored with a seat and a narrow space, and he sits across here. So he said that there are two people who have done the wrong. One is a person who seeks your advice. And when you give them advice, what happens?
They turn against you.
Oh, if I had a nickel for every time this happened to me, I can tell you. You give someone advice this, move this up. I need advice. So I'll give you advice. But then you tell them Look, my advice is going to be wrong. It's not for everyone. Are you sure you want it? Yes. You give him advice. And listen, I say they say
you offended me. You've heard me. Yeah, Baba, why did you asked me in the first place. If you want my advice, you have to know that I was going to give you what I advice that I thought was appropriate. I wasn't going to pander to what you wanted. If that's what you want, you can go to someone else. So when someone gives you advice, you have to ask yourself my shift used to always say the shift, shift 100. We studied about odors. And I remember clearly, we went to we had a 40 day take off. We were about to start in our graduating year. And we went to him as a class and we asked him we said, because of Christmas, he had three shifts, give us some advice. And he said Nasir
brahma carova. He asked his sisters,
he said, will you act upon what I tell you? Everyone went quiet.
He goes, I'm gonna look unnatural. You're not going to act upon what I say then go somewhere else. Now he said he will act upon it. Give us advice. He asked us again. I'm gonna caraga that are you gonna act upon it?
And then he gives you see.
So when someone gives you advice now, this isn't to say that every time someone gives you advice, it's fodder for you to act upon everything. They say. That's not what I'm saying. That's a whole different issue. That's the beauty of advice, then you can choose to accept it or reject it. But you can't turn against the ones against the one that was giving you sincere advice. You go to someone for marital advice, and that person gives you advice. You can't say he was trying to break us up.
On what basis? Are you saying that I was literally going off of the vibes in the room? I was giving advice based off of what was in front of me. Can a person be right? Yes. Can they be wrong? Yes.
Yes. And the second person he says is this person who has given a seat in a narrow space, and then when he sits down he sits cross legged? What kind of bad is this?
When you're seated between two people,
unless it is now private and secret man, he's dropping isn't bad, I'm gonna send azula some love audio send them said, Whoever listens to people's conversations and gets their reactions will be punished by molten lead, being bogged down their ears on the Day of Judgment.
Take note that it is inappropriate for you to whisper to someone sitting next to if you are in a group of three people. By doing so you're deserting and isolating their person, which will lead him to entertain the worst thoughts. Such an such an act is not similarly you have to avoid inside jokes. If it's only it's not good other, you leaving that third person or that person's going to feel like they're not up to date with jokes are not up to date with what's going on. They're going to feel a little left out when you're having a conversation and there's only three people include everyone. Make sure you go out of your way be the one who facilitates everyone's involvement in that
conversation. Because not everyone does this and most of the times that third person gets left out. Definitely don't whisper and talk privately. Because if you're whispering speaking privately, and there's only one more person in the room, that person is going to assume what
you're talking about them.
That's not good. You're feeding doubts into that person's mind, even though you may not be speaking of them is teaches us something important. What we learn from here is that even though you're not committing a crime, don't do something that can lead someone to doubt what you're doing. As a sort of loss of a loved one. He was sort of taught us in the womb a lot
of avoid putting yourself in circumstances where you could be accused of doing something wrong. Yes.
Therapy negated this as an economist, Dr. Malak
reported that a philosopher loved writing the sentence 782 muscles whisper to each other in the presence of a third person, their choice of words about a soulless robot to send them never will not never should, indicates that such a mistake is not
what an unimaginable and instinctively despicable satana bla bla bla who
was asked what if they were born, then it does not matter? He answered, for people in the room that it's okay. Because now there are two other people they can have their own private conversation, there will be no third person who's left out.
Meeting in that case, it is not around to spiritual
perspective, doubt or recognize the status of the elderly and give them
due respect, but walking with them walk slightly behind, let them enter and exit first. When you meet them, greet them properly and respect them respectfully. When you discuss something with them, let them speak first, and listen to them attentively and gracious. When you meet someone early, let them walk ahead, walk behind, if they have anything in their hand should carry on their behalf when you greet them, greet them with respect. I teach this to my children all the time at home, that when when someone visits you, someone's senior to you, when you shake their hand, you must use two hands out of respect for them. This is going on that you must have could never imagine in my life ever
shaking the hands of one of my teachers never imagined because it's not the best. The better other the more humble way is to offer two hands when you shake the help of someone who is more senior to you putting they speak, listen attentively, resisting, not being distracted. Yes.
If the conversation is the conversation it was to me he should remain light on gentlemen, and show that you speak to an outer and a lot of times when you address him, never forget her and things get a little rough with someone more senior.
You come down a little
you have to do a little sub. That's the way that it's supposed to
go. Now that doesn't mean that you can't speak your truth. I'm not saying that you could speak your truth. But you have to learn to lower your tone. Speak calm. Be respectful to that person like now there's a seniority God
let me review with you some heavy
encouragement, manners to your brothers came to the soul muscle a lot harder to discuss personal matter. The younger brother began to speak at this summit last year it was sent him remark the elderly, meaning give the outer brother his right and allowed to speak. This is cymbal phobia Mr. millenary via
cyber Scott brings in his key topic the Bible's persada and foster oh one thing's only one narration there this is the one narration that he brings. And
what happened was that there were two individuals who went to heiva paper it was a Jewish area where the Jews lived after exile from Edo munawwara so they had gone there they were walking in between the fields then one of them went missing when they went to look for him they found him killed he was murdered. Sticking back to the sort of loss that a lot he said I'm gonna send a messenger for love it was murdered three people killed the person who was killed I believed in Sal I believe his name is Abdullah bin Salman but the along on his brother other commandments and came along with two other people. Those two other people were the cousins of the one that was killed
and so the three of them came to the gathering of Rasulullah sallallahu cinnamon the resource that I heard there was a murder which is a very serious affair. The Prophet of Allah when he called the three of them in the room under a man bin Salman, who was the brother he started speaking
and happened to be He was the youngest of the three
that we saw some stuff
even though he was the closest relatives compared to the cousin maybe sell some stuff and he said to the cousin who was more senior you will be the one that speaks you can speak Tell me what happened and for that he's awesome said cut bottom top didn't cover which means cut Bill Cooper bring forth the more senior the senior person be the one who speaks when there is a group of people gifts
to do
some low on reports that some of us in love right innocent whoever does not respect our elders is not on another version of reports whoever does not respect our elders is not compassion for our youth and does not give our scholars and do honors
have been entered on observe in the Boeing narration house Allah some love it was sitting on top they use the manners of companionship and the habit of giving priority to say the nomadic unemployed said hello I said I was among a lonely one said I was among a group of youth of similar age that visited Ursula some of our day was sitting in Medina for personal loss of love. It was very time actually these guys were visiting Medina was a bunch of young guys that came to learn from abuse a lot of them and they stayed there for 20 days, a long period but also the laws that allow them begin to notice on their faces that these guys are visiting their family. So he's told them guys go back
home. Go visit your family you guys are young you missed them. I can see it all over your face when they were leaving a piece of the law while he was sitting give them advice and what he said to them was that
that left what is the words of
My mind what do we see a lot is that I'm told him that one of you should call the other in the most senior of you should lead the prayer.
So therefore, some extreme this point here that the most senior is the one that she put forward to lead the prayer when you get back to your community, this is how you're going to schedule who gives the other leaves a prayer? Yes. He says that we met had been warming for our families back home and inquired about whom we had left behind. When we informed him your mark, go back to your families live live with them, teach them to inform them of good deeds at the time of prayer let one of you call up and let your eldest leave for that second recording
hasn't met Roger
rational low data as they're able to jurist and I'm
gonna
say under a minute ago yeah, I'm very passionate about the item itself the jurors judge and the chief Sheriff of the Humphrey School of Law during his time yamalube new
data says one day for the for the Abuja that said to me, while walking with Him, if you had walked with someone, Your Honor, where would you walk? I replied, I do not know. He said walk to paste him at the position of the demand for leave his right side clear in case of a search with his needs his left side clear in case he needs suspend or get rid of broken without we conclude here whether the last hurdle delivers 250
and makes us from those who embody that other bigger character, Ursula who died on a civil ceremony.