Hosai Mojaddidi – Question & Answer Female Islamic Scholars
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The speakers discuss the importance of finding the right person for prayer and finding the right direction for prayer, particularly in an airport where people are willing to do their best effort. They stress the need to be delicate and pray for guidance, and to keep options open in marriage. The speakers also advise against giving birth to someone who has a similar sex and to prioritize respect for boundaries in marriage. They recommend animal recommended books in Arabic and English, animal recommended books in Arabic and English, and resources for educational information and resources for further study. The speakers also discuss issues related to a judge's actions and the importance of seeking professional advice and seeking advice on certain topics, such as abuse and family dynamics.
AI: Summary ©
So we'll go through as many as possible. Alright, so that was
say, how, how the sister is asking how to advise. She says how to
advise my sister who doesn't dress modestly, and I want to see her
and do well for her. I want to see well, like, you know, you just
want good for your sister, how can she advise her? I always have so
many follow up questions when we get these, like, is this your real
sister? Are you close to her? Is it your friend, a lot of those
variables, map demoness, you have. And we have to be very delicate
when we're advising people. So the closeness of the bond really does
matter.
And I would just say continue to be a good sister to your sister,
when we reflect all the virtues that we've talked about, and we
are loving and kind supporting, you're definitely going to get
more reception than if that opportunity. Yeah, the better the
more you focus on just being a really good
model, modeling the virtues of our faith, that inshallah when the
opportunity if the opportunity presents itself, for you to give
advice, she will likely receive it better. But if every time you meet
with her, you're just focusing on her not wearing hijab and in your
heart, you're kind of judging her. Even if it's coming from a place
of wanting her guidance, then you may lose that opportunity to
really create a bond Hamdulillah you know, I have relatives who do
not wear the hijab. And to be honest, it'd be it's become
something that I don't really focus on. When I'm with them, I
just want to
enjoy my time with them, and create that bond. And I feel that
over the years, we have definitely built a very strong bond. And
there have been times where yes, conversations go into different
directions. And I find that they genuinely are listening. And they
want to hear what I have to say because they haven't felt judged
by me the entire time that we've been friends with our I mean that
I've been close to them. So I would just say continue to be a
good sister make and then also the other part of it make a lot of
dye, your dye and the opposite in her absence. Could be the very
reason why I lost palette turns her heart to wear the hijab, and
just continued to just be a good sister in shallow of hijab is
definitely farther but it's not something that we should make as a
or prevent us from feeling close to someone who doesn't wear a
hijab, because everybody's on their own path. Shallow.
This question has to do with the probably just like the the rule
following sometimes people get have questions about that. So how
important is it to pray towards the Qibla? And is it important to
do we'll do with water all the time?
It's a valid question. So we'll answer it definitely. Absolutely.
So is it let me tell you something, if you're going to try
to fill class today, but we're going to go into field course,
Tomic rulings for a moment, across all the schools, the rule is that
you have to determine the location or the direction of the clip now
in order to for your about your prayer to be valid.
Interestingly, it means that you exert your best effort.
So your sisters, these phones that you carry, we have a built in
compass. Yep. And in your prayer app, it also has a compass. And I
am old enough
to have carried compasses actual compasses with me forever,
everywhere. I went in school, college, you know, whatever,
everywhere everywhere we went everywhere we went right before
these smartphones happened and that we became kind of dumb, and
we forgot how to like figure out the direction of the limit. So
Pamela, they're right here. These compass apps or whether an actual
compass or even better is learning the shadows which is how people
before compasses used to figure out the directions of the Qibla
and also the timings of prayer. They figure out north east west
and south one time I'll tell you this very quick story one time I
came I was in an international travel and the the by transit was
very, very short. And when you're in an airport, and you have to
like run from one gate to another really quickly, and I had to catch
prayer right in that little tiny window or prayer would have left
and when you come out of an airplane, you're like
discombobulated as international you don't know where you are. Keep
up get even speak what the language is what's going on. You
You You're it's kind of discombobulating and I thought to
myself, Okay, at the very least I'll look out and see like the
shadows will turned out by then it was very cloudy and I couldn't
figure out
The direction of anything where the sun was. So I said, y'all law
y'all law, please help me all. The interesting thing isn't about an
airport
is that people, especially in an airport, know the directions.
even know which way is East North? And I said, what is the direction
of East help? Just give me one just give me ease, do something,
you know. And so Subhan Allah as I came out of the airport, and the
person who asked him a question said, Are you looking for the
Qibla?
So, listen, listen, brother, I couldn't tell SubhanAllah. But he
can see I was rattled trying to figure out the direction of
prayer, or at least a direction with the Allah sends you people
Subhanallah with a good intention, try your very hardest. And I'll
tell you a follow up story. One time, two of us will take it a
fifth class together, we did another conference, and we had to
pray. And we had nothing with us to figure out exactly the
direction inside of the building. It's all like close. And it was
actually nighttime was a night prayer. So there was no sun to
exactly see where it started, where you know, where it came up
and where it's set. And so anyway, the rule in the fifth book is you
have to do your best effort to figure out the direction of the
Qibla. And if the two of you disagree, each one has to pray
according to the law that they figure it out is the best. So I
tried to convince her to this way. And she tried to convince me to
this way. And we could agree, we had both studied felt horrible
students. And at the end, we both said, we know the rule is and each
one preyed on our own.
And it and it counted for each person because they did the
prerequisite. So I always tell people don't walk into a room just
go along with but you gotta give some effort, some effort of
figuring out east, north, west and south. Now in terms of will do the
answer is the same. It requires a fool will do always right. And
with the RFC, with the few exceptions, but they have to
qualify for the exceptions that require a dry ablution or TM. And
if it does not qualify for TM, than a full water will do is
actually required if your would it was broken. But if you're one of
the lucky people that know what a carrier would do, from one prayer
to another, some people are akin they don't like break will do
easily. You'll carry with you for a little while, otherwise, it is
hard. And nowadays in the university where I work, there's a
lot of same gender like one gender bathrooms, right? Listen, the
rooms about the bathrooms, I mean, that have the one person stalls,
and they say for everybody, all genders. I'm like, fine, because
at least it closes the door. And I'm able to use this I use this in
airports, I use this in bathrooms, in schools, colleges everywhere,
wherever I am. If I can find that, it's easy, because you can close
the door and easily make will do. Right? And if not, then it's hard.
Yes, it's hard, but it's part and parcel of being a Muslim.
First, rather medium. How does one start or work on surrendering to
the law and just letting go?
think it really depends on the circumstance. This is super
general. And it really, really could depend on what the person is
asking about. Sometimes people ask me this when they have a specific
to add that they've been making for a very long time. And they're
wondering if the fact that it's not being answered means that
Allah subhanaw taala just doesn't want to give it to you, for
whatever reason, maybe it's not good for you, maybe it's not good
for your F Utah. And so this is where they're asking that question
from? I'm going to answer it from that perspective, because there's
no other context. And that's the one I'm asked most. But number
one, recognizing that Allah subhanaw taala loves you so much
that he always decrees what is best for you. Even if in that
moment, it doesn't feel like it's the best thing. And I'll give you
the example of somebody who,
you know, wants to get married, I get this question all the time,
who wants to get married, wants to get married? It's been like 10
years, they've been making die. It's been 15 years they've been
looking, and they're just looking and looking another wondering,
should they just give up? Or should they just stop now they're
in their mid 30s. They've been looking since they were like 20.
And they're wondering whether or not a law has willed marriage for
them. And whenever someone asks me this question, I always ask them,
do they want to get married? Is it something they want? And if the
answer is yes, they actually want it. It's not something that they
feel pressured into. It's not something that their parents are,
you know, begging for them to do. It's something they've been open
to and they've really sincerely been trying. Then I suggest that
they keep asking and they keep making us to Hana about other you
know, any opportunities or any thing that might open because you
never know what Allah subhanaw taala wills for you, you will
never lose what.so If it means that Allah subhanaw taala has
willed that marriage is not the best for this person, then maybe
he's going to open a different door. But while you're making the
offer marriage, you say if it's best for me open the store, if
it's best for me, facilitated if it's best for me, give me better
than I can
ask for and in the process, if it's not best for you, then Allah
will give you something better, he absolutely will, you literally
cannot lose with. Either he will avert some evil from your life,
may Allah protect everybody and everyone, everyone we love you
all, or he will give it in the hereafter or he will give
something better than you can imagine, while you're making that
dua, or he will delay it for a better time, he'll give something
different, you can't lose with.so The first thing is just keep
making the DUA with the clause. If it's best for me, if it's not,
then take it away from me and bring me something better. And the
Secondly, after that, what actions are you taking or not taking? I
know I'm giving the marriage example. So I'm sorry if your
question was about something totally unrelated. But a lot of
people I know are only open to marrying someone of their specific
race or of their specific state. They don't want to move out of
state they have to marry someone who has the same type of career
background or a specific type of income level those are fine it's
fine to have those general you know interests but that's going to
close the opportunities for a person who's looking so what do
what does the person looking at making dua for also need to do to
open kind of like those doors, maybe Alaskan Matata is sending
someone over and over and because of specific requirements that
they're just closing that door over and over themselves. So
constantly make as to how to keep your you know, your your options
open, and always, you know, make taba also in the process, please,
you know, I'm really big on this I always talked about Morriston to
everyone and their mom, please go to therapy, you know, contact
Morriston. Sometimes the reasons why people are saying no to
individuals is actually not because the other person but
because of something they need to work through. So going through
therapy and navigating that is really important so that in sha
Allah, you are at a place where you can sincerely consider who
might actually be good for you. So maybe it hasn't happened yet,
because you're not at the right space. Yeah, only Allah knows. I
don't know, I'm totally annoyed. No idea. And maybe it's not meant
it's not meant for every person. And that is why we have so many
examples in our history, a woman and men who did not marry or who
were scholars who were diets who are so involved in Islam, they
could travel they could do so much more because they didn't have the
responsibility of family and in this particular way, so only Allah
subhanaw taala knows that may Allah bless every single one of
you and everyone that you love with the best yadda blah Manny
another one for southern Muslim about book recommendations
mashallah your talk was like, packed with so many interesting
people and figures and history. So several questions actually about
you know, your reading list maybe for the recommendations. Yeah, you
know, I'm I'm going to ask everyone else if they have
recommendations I have I generally read in Arabic only now because
the sources in English are so limited. There are more and more
that are coming. But I know last time I said I'm done with my book
I was not done. I thought I was done. But now I'm still working on
it in sha Allah when it's out until it'll be a resource
inshallah please make to offer it's taking forever. But in the
book I've translated so much because so much is just not in
English. However, what I do know in English that I really recommend
is animal had defects. And I say this all the time, a LMUHADITH at
Elmo Hadith, that it's by Chef according to Dewey, and it's an
English and then there's also a two year old Mara is just being
translated by adults Salahi and I don't know, it's what it's called
an English what is it called an English woman's social
participation or something like that, but look up Adi LSALHI,
abdulsalami. It's a six volume book in Arabic, and he's
translating different volumes slowly. And then there's also
reclaiming the mosque, reclaiming the mosque by Dr. Jasser Auda,
huge scholar of mocassin in our time, reclaiming the mosque. And
then there's one more in English, which is helped me with another
one in English.
There's one
just like women's issues, women's scholarship, and women's scholars
of the past. I know there's one more than I'm missing. It's like a
biography or bibliography or not bibliography. It's a biography.
I'm sorry. If I think of it all. I'm so sorry that it's Yeah,
Inshallah, Inshallah, all of you will be those who contribute to
the literature that we desperately need an English but it's, it's,
it's getting out there and just slowly but there's definitely more
than I just don't know, off the top of my head. Okay, I was just
thinking we did a book list.
For Stella, Jose. I've been wearing hijab on and off for a
couple of months. I'm at the point where I don't know how to answer
people who see hijab as black and white. How will I know when I'm
ready to commit to hijab? How long is the correct amount of time to
take to make the decision of starting your hijab journey?
This is a tough question, because what I really want to say is don't
answer.
You know, I feel like people just need to respect boundaries. It's
odd, like you couldn't imagine someone got it
Someone who, you know, with their prayer and asking them, What are
you going to do all five of your prayers, like, just the idea of
someone doing that it's just very intrusive. And
I don't know, I find it
just intrusive, but I think it depends on the person. And I would
say to the sister, this is your journey with hijab, it's very
private, it's between you and Allah subhana wa, tada, you
shouldn't feel pressured to rush your decision, because people are
putting these, you know, questions before you and now you feel like
you have to answer to them. No, you don't, it's your, it's yours,
own it, claim it and you can respectfully just say, I'm, I'm
just gonna transition in my life. And, you know, might take me more
time. But we know, you'll know when I start wearing it all the
time. But again, these are the types of questions that it really
depends on the relationship you have with the one who's asking
you. But if you can, and if you feel comfortable, I'm a big fan of
being in control of your own narrative. So I am an open
communicator. And if I felt like, this was me, I would likely
announce to my siblings, for example, or my, you know, that
people might close immediate circle, like, Listen, I'm, you
know, going to be, you know, wearing hijab, maybe here and
there. And it's a very personal thing for me, and I would love
your support, and da, and I would include them in that way. If
you're comfortable, that could be an option. That way they, they
feel like they're partly with you. But I do feel sometimes people
especially around hijab, if they don't wear hijab, they might feel
uncomfortable, because they don't know, if you are going to continue
to change and they are not, you know, in on the same path as you.
So they sometimes I think people may put their own comfort before
your comfort. And that's why you have to kind of assess the
situation, what is the motive of the question? Are they really
curious about your path? Or is it more that you're making them
uncomfortable? And they're just kind of putting you on the spot?
You know, we don't want to necessarily have Sullavan, or
think the worst of people. But I would just say, when questions
were posed like this, it's difficult, because there's so many
follow up details that I think would make it easier to answer.
But generally speaking, hijab is very personal. And I think we have
to as women own that it is a personal decision. And somehow in
the most graceful way, let our loved ones know that it's it'll
take time, and I encourage you to continue on your path. And
Charlotte, if it takes you months hamdulillah if it takes you years
and Hamdulillah. But if you want to, you know, really kind of have
a solid plan, I would say and I have advised sisters, and it's
worked, set a deadline for yourself, you don't have to share
that with everybody. But you could just say, I'm gonna give myself
two months, three months, or you know, by this point, maybe it's a
personal milestone for you at a time in your life where you feel
like you really want to, by that point, commit to the hijab, and
that's your personal deadline, you don't need to broadcast that to
anybody, because as soon as you do it, and or if that time comes, and
then you're not ready, everybody's gonna come and start judging you
again. So I just feel like we have to kind of be very careful with
oversharing. But if it's, again, a relationship or you feel
comfortable, then just let them know that you're on a journey. And
just like all journeys, it takes time. So
Dr. Rania, how does one become an Islamic psychologist? Really
happy to talk about it. First of all, there's the Barristan booth
out there and you can talk to them Mashallah.
It's I was actually outside in the foyer, you're welcome to chat with
the folks at the table.
Yeah, so how do you do this? So I always talk about how if you're
going to put the word Islam before anything, so in this case, Islamic
psychology, that it has to be something that's actually starts
with and is grounded in Islam.
There's a lot of discussions on you know,
you know, let's kind of throw in a little bit of Hadith here and a
little bit of Quran here and make mental health kind of Muslim. And
there is a field actually called Muslim mental health, which is for
Muslim people, right, and kind of their mental health, but it's not
the same as Islamic psychology. What Islamic psychology means is
that that the foundation of the actual field starts with Islam.
And then a psychology is derived or built upon it from Islam
itself, if that makes sense. So how does want to go around go
about doing this? It does require an effect in my every week in
medicine, I teach the therapist I go through the book, the book that
we handed out, hundreds that we're able to finish and complete is
called introducing Islamic concepts in
Clinical Mental Health Care. And what that's about is basically
talking about exactly what I mean, here are the foundations of the
Psalm and how do you integrate them into clinical care? So in
that training that we're doing, it identifies and says, How do you
become an Islamic psychologist? And it has, it gives you three
main things. It says First, you have to be able to ground yourself
in Assam, which means a lifelong journey of Islamic learning. None
of us nobody here nobody on this panel Hamdulillah. And none of you
either Inshallah, start studying Islam and say, Okay, now I'm done.
The minute you say you're done is actually the minute you know,
everything is lost semana, you've got to keep going and keep going
in your studies, even if it's adding little by little. So it's a
commitment to a lifelong journey of Islamic learning. Secondly, in
this country, in America, you cannot become a psychologist, a
therapist, a psychiatrist, a counselor of any sort, unless you
are certified and credentialed by an actual program. So that's
either a master's degree or a PhD degree or in the case of a
psychiatrist and MD, a medical degree. And you need those
certifications to be able to practice in this country.
So and Hamdulillah, I hope we are having less people going around
the community saying I can be a counselor, I can counsel you. And
Hamdulillah, I can give you a mostly how they can give you a
religious counseling or maybe some coaching. But they're not actual
therapists or clinicians unless they've actually done their
degrees, certifications, licensing and exams. Right, they are their
board exams, and their boards are governed to this practice for
ethical behavior and correct practice. And thirdly, the place
in which you're neither chef, nor are you you're not a chef here and
you're not a complete secular psychotherapist, or psychologist
is that middle space of how do you bring Islam into the story, and
that's actually learning the way so it's basically the training
that I was talking about. We call it the traditionally integrated
Islamic psychotherapy or tip model for those interested or taking
some sort of diploma or course in Islamic psychology so that you can
bridge your western secular psychology training, and bridge
that to the Islamic training and actually learn the concepts. So
there's three steps of how you become an Islamic psychologist.
There's a few questions about study advice.
Like where's a good place to study? People that want to
memorize Quran, people that want to just learn their protein?
Make sure that they're grounded. Just maybe recommendations from
the panel.
Obviously, the foundation, but also Robert ah, mashallah amazing
Institute, everyone knows Dr. Tamra Gray, and the work that
she's doing with centering women's voices in Islamic history and what
that means now, it's online, it's accessible. So between Rama and
Robertshaw, mashallah, we have resources we never had in the
past. Also SLM Institute is Dr. Achaemenid, always online
Institute. And if you'd like to do a higher level, like series that
have to do with other texts that he specifically has, teaches, you
can also study with him. I didn't mean to say higher level as
unrebutted doesn't have higher level, they both have higher
level, but they're just different types of tracks. And we want to
talk to her for a bit here today, but she wasn't able to join us
because of her schedule. So I will say, geneticists
now that you've taken all the woman ones, which is great,
they're usually the ones I get first on the list that I'm gonna
like, other places that yet I always tell people ask me,
especially high school students, college age students, or anybody
who was in a stage of life where they can actually take what we
call a gap year, I really encourage people to take a gap
year in their studies, because at the end of the day, whether you
graduate at 21, or 22, no one's going to remember. Or if you'd go
finish your graduate degrees at 24, or 25, and no one's going to
remember, but that one year that you spent studying is some right,
and I'll give you the sum of the names of the seminaries in just a
moment here is going to make a massive difference in your life.
So I really encourage people to literally pause for a bit and take
a gap year if they can, Inshallah, and if you can't, then do the
programs we're talking about here. And I'll tell you take one course
at a time one course at a time, like a semester, right? You can,
every woman in this room can literally add a Adubato course in
their year, every woman can do that. Also, gender Institute does
something called the year of knowledge. So you dedicate a year
to learning the foundations of your deen. Other seminaries that
are both online and in person is the column Institute which is
based out of Texas. And that is can take you from step one,
literally literally Elif that literally literally letters, I
lift that to full on five year ILM Alima program that was visiting
them in Texas just a few months back. And I went into the beginner
class they said this is year one, they said they started and so I
was visiting in November. They started in September with the
academic year. They said these students here only knew that when
they came in, they could only recognize the alphabet. And I said
why?
cuz I'm standing in the back of the class and they are literally
legit reading
and I'm like how in three months did you get people going from all
of that to reading so amazing, right but that's what happens when
you dedicate to like a strong good program. So I encourage you to
look out for column do a virtual or you can do an in person in
Texas. And then you can also if you have a year go to TCM seminary
that's in Tennessee with Stella Xena been Saudi who's one of our
dear teachers and beloved friend of ours is the resident scholar of
the TCF seminary so a woman mashallah resident scholar, and
it's a year long program in Knoxville, Tennessee. So I'll add
those to the list as well.
Tasty, tasty at a seminary.
You've said them all she wants to sell I can't think of any others.
Those are all the ones I was gonna say as well.
We forgot say tuna, of course, which is in our neighborhood,
Mashallah. We're hoping to do a bachelor's degree or a master's
degree, of course, here in Berkeley, but it has to be in
person as a two in a college. They see it as spelled TAYSER TC to
seminary.
That's in person and Knoxville. alum is the one that has both. And
another one, if you want to send your kids in person is miftah. I
think a lot of you have heard about myth doc, they were in this
semester before. And they're in Michigan. And they have a full on
boys program and now a girls program as well. But their in
Person Program.
Forgot something.
Earlier once we said yeah, the earlier ones. Yeah, yeah, double
digit Institute, Friday night.
This one This one is I think speaks to our time, if a Muslim
man who is not responsible hasn't been a provider doesn't take a
leadership role in making the kids religious or anything else in the
household. what is otherwise a good man? Is that man still
superior to his wife? And does the Hadith about his woman not being
grateful to him still apply? That's first other mme.
So there's a difference between silk and relationship advice,
therapy. Film is law. It's dry, it doesn't look at what are the
dynamics of this, if you say this, and he responds in this way, also,
actually, it does mention some of those things for some rulings. But
it's not going to say, respond to him in this way. And then his
heart will become soft, and then your heart becomes soft, and then
you're going to fall in love more and feel doesn't deal with any of
that. It's law. So from a dry legal perspective, if a husband is
not financially providing fully for his wife, it does impact. It
absolutely impacts the rulings of the rights that he receives. But
I'd like to go back to the end of the question, which was something
like does that mean he's superior to his wife, Allah subhanaw taala
doesn't make the husband or the wife superior to one another in
his sight, both of you are equal in his sight, there is a level of
responsibility that the husband has over the family and over the
wife and, and the questioning that he will be asked as the shepherd
or as the leader of the family, in the in the way that he makes
decisions that will impact the whole family with the support and
the guidance and, and the discussion of his wife and his
children and the family. Now, there are going to be men and
women who are abusive, who abused their trust to abuse their roles
in their rights, including two children. And there is a legal
system in place for when that takes place. But if we're not
talking about abuse, we're just talking about he's a good man,
which is what was mentioned, but he doesn't take care of
financially providing his not, you know, in the role of a spiritual
leader, which is I think, what the question was alluding to, then
really, in today, if you're asking this question, and you're not,
you're in California, and you can't go to an assignment, court
court system, and you're asking what to do, there's two things I
would recommend one, go to therapy, if you cannot go to
therapy with your husband, because he doesn't want to go where he
refuses to go go on your own. It's very important that you go and you
seek what you can do differently, or what you just need to hear it
for yourself and how that may or may not change the dynamic. So you
going to speak to a professional is really key that's much more
important than you hearing asking and me me who is not a
professional in anything related to clinical science or
relationships or marriage therapy, any of those things, answering
this question on how that's going to impact your relationship.
Please speak with a professional. That's the first thing. The second
thing is this is a very general q&a. your specific situation
should also be discussed with a person of knowledge. If there's an
imam or a Shia, that you trust Dr. Rania herself, go to them and
speak and ask about the specifics of your dynamic and seek advice
because it sounds like you're saying he's a good man. That's not
someone who you're afraid of. It's just maybe he's not giving you all
of the rights systemically and the third is looking at the rules of
felt. So one if he is not fully
financially providing for you, and you are contributing to the
household. There's a few things that happen. One scholar is
discussed that he no longer has the right to certain rights that
he receives do to provide to to giving that provision. But again,
when I see scholars say, I'm not going into all the details,
scholars say is a huge statement, which scholar which method? How
does the Mehtab look at that issue? This is not the place for
that longer discussion, I'm just giving you generalities that there
are scholars who discuss whether or not the provision happens how
that impacts his rights, that's the first thing. The second thing
is if you decide that you are going to contribute to the
household, yes, it is set up from you, because you are not required
to do it. So it's so data from you. But some scholars also say
that he cannot accept a sadhaka. And it has to be a debt that he
has to pay you back. And so in that case, you would need to write
a contract that at some point he would need to repay you if that is
what you're asking for. So these are just interesting ways that
assignment well looks at this issue. I'm not I'm sorry, this
isn't the place for like a long discussion on it. I guess the the
the minor point is you have rights and assign recognizes your rights
to the mentality that he is somehow above you is, is
unfortunately something that is absolutely seeped throughout
Muslim, you know, many Muslim thought, but mindsets, but let's
kind of tie that puts the honor and responsibility on both
individuals in a marriage. The issue of who's going to make the
final decision with certain aspects or who holds some more,
who holds more weight in terms of responsibility is one that, of
course, is a discussion within Islamic law, but also that falls
on Are they fulfilling their rights, the rights and the
responsibilities that they have in a household? And finally, please
make sure that you speak with professionals. And I'm actually
should have passed this question before even answering it to
everybody else. So I feel like no, I feel like you did such an
amazing job literally was what I was going to add was not exactly
professional, because it's like, that's the first step. But I just
wanted to add one more thing was actually related to dua, which is
something we talked about earlier in the questions. But I just want
to tell the sister who asked this, and any sisters who have a similar
question or something else that they're dealing with similarly,
please don't underestimate the power of drop.
Remember that people are what you when you see them right now or in
the years that you've known them. These are also stages or seasons
of life. And people do have the propensity to change
a lot so gracious to us, He allows for Toba repentance and kind of
coming back all the time. And so we would hope that the person
you're asking about is somebody who sees the light at some point,
right, and is able to actually change. And the reason why we
would tell a sister to really if a person, if a man is good to her
husband is good to her in every other way of not just sort of
walking away from it. It's because if he has the propensity
potentially to change, this could be a very powerful and wonderful
marriage potentially. Even though right now in this season, it's
very difficult. And so the reason I say that is because we have
counseled women SubhanAllah. But I sometimes share this, some of you
have heard these stories before we're year after year, we see them
in women's conferences, and they're very difficult things
happening at home. But how many times have I had a woman Subhan
Allah who I've met year after year after year with very difficult
circumstances. And I would say
to our donor semester to make sure you're taking all the steps, the
counseling and all the steps we talked about, but don't
underestimate the power of Dora. And how beautiful is it. And this
is truly happened. Like it's a real thing that I've experienced
in a woman's conference like this. Where after several years
Subhanallah she came and said, My husband is here.
Here he is home today. Now he's turned the corner. He's turned a
new leaf and a new chapter in his life, something happened And
subhanAllah sometimes they're hard things are bad, bad things. And
nothing's ever bad with the loss of data. He sends us sometimes
heavy things to wake us up. Right. But it woke him up out of the
stupor. He was in Subhan Allah and he turned to leave. And I think
that's really important. Subhan Allah. So just just give some hope
and advice. It was that our teachers give us somebody that
you know, many of the women who mentioned studying overseas,
getting, you know, but there being more barriers to travel and study
now even in the countries that were named Syria and even Yemen,
difficulty to go there now because of the situation. But in the bay
martial law, where there's so many different programs, there's still
the issue of access, like not everybody knows about the classes,
not everybody is able to come here. So what can we do to sort of
connect
them mentioned the inner city youth,
children that are covered girls that are coming from immigrant
families who don't necessarily have transportation or just their
locality doesn't have classes. I can just we're trying to rent out.
So what we're doing currently is we're working with a group of
sisters who are being mentored as part of our Friday night program,
the pre class our teachers do take a class. Right now they're taking
with Dr.
Rodney for to mentor their teaching and then they're running
their own Holika in Oakland. So we do have that on the radar. It's
something that we've done in the past in different communities and
we want to expand because we we know that x is difficult in terms
of
you know, families coming to Pleasanton, especially on a Friday
night. We all know the traffic's good traffic situation and such.
So it's definitely something on our radar. I want to just answer
that question.
What did Suzanne do?
Did she run? We gotta get her back.
There are some questions related to what about nail polish?
Other of like five foot questions, I would just say, those types of
questions really need a course of study because there's a lot of
what ifs to you're a badass. And the best thing, the best advice is
just to complete a program so that when you stand in your prayer,
that you don't have to deal with doubt. And then you focus on being
mindful in that area better. So I would say that and then whatever