Haitham al-Haddad – Why Marriages Fail? Part 2

			related to not thinking of success, okay, what do I mean by that not thinking of success, see, look
at the marriage as a project as a project and that project has to be a successful project, you are
the project manager, and the project manager is not a dwelling into in the problems during the
project. He is thinking of what achievement, he is thinking to make that project working. Many men
come and say, Well, okay, you know, my wife, she has this problem, okay? She's not obedient to me.
He likes to go to her mom, always. She's like to not she is like to complain, always. Okay. And then
as a result, I become violent to her or I become abusive, and she becomes abusive, she shut back.
		

			And then we have these problems. No, okay. Think don't to dwell into these problems. Every single
woman has shortcomings, every single man has shortcomings, all of us have shortcomings. Every
matrimonial life has problems, a man came to him or he wants to complain about his wife. And he saw
that
		

			he was the leader of meaning his wife was shouting to him. And he said, when he approached the house
of Qatar, and he saw that his wife was shouting at him, he left. And then I said, Where Are You?
You? You can What do you want? He said, No, I came to complain about my wife. And I saw that the
wife of the halifa is shouting at him. So I said, Oh, my wife is at least better. She's not shouting
like this, you. So he left
		

			town, he helps her. And because he said to his wife, you learn from the cell phone, and then your
cell phones are a little bit you can say at that time, independent, not that nice out of place at
that time. And he said, You always any chat that you learn this from the new culture that you came
to? And she said, Well, why not even their wives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam chat
back or talk back to the prototype seller? He said, do they do that? And you know that his daughter
is married to the political audience. And and so he wanted to have some? And he said to her, do you
talk back to the Prophet sallallahu send a new chapter back to the prophet SAW sentiment, she said,
		

			No, sometimes we have this with the prophets on the Lord. So these are problems, okay, but how to
deal with these problems. If you dwell into the problems, you will never live a happy life.
		

			Okay, this is the issue. Think of what they achieved now that this is a project. And this is a
challenge, I have to make it successful. This is one thing, another thing in order to make it
successful, seeing many, many men, they think, after some cars that his wife has having is having so
many problems. And because of the evil of this magic, sorry.
		

			Free mixing, he sees other women that they are better than his wife, of course, he doesn't see them
at all, when they are maybe cooking going on or when they are waking up and they have not brushed
their teeth and they are having a bad breath. No, he is watching them when they are coming up, okay
to work, dressed properly, maybe putting perfume etc. So they think that they are from an older age,
they are much better than his wife, who is maybe ugly, or maybe he's not, she's not taking health,
care about the mouth, the smell or the breath or she's not taking care of her, the way she dressed,
etc, etc. And as a result of this, when he goes back to his wife, he starts to raise up the
		

			expectations and he sells to what asked her to be like this.
		

			diva found out he was one of the young scholars and so that area a lot. And he used to be a thinker,
and from a social perspective, and he said that if a man is married to all women in the world, all
women in the world except one woman, the shaper will come to Him and He will tell him that this
lady, this particular lady, one lady, she has something that is not there with all these women in
order to work in order to influence him to maybe not to know what to how to gaze or to chase her or
to wish to get married to her. And in order for him to feel that his wives are bad wives and she is
the good one. Okay, so
		

			just realize brothers and sisters that every single woman has shortcomings. Every single man has
shortcomings every single matrimonial life or marriage has problems. Okay? But who is successful who
is not successful? You can see
		

			I remember in the previous hedge, I saw a man, old man, maybe he's, like 70 something. And he said,
Pray to my wife. She died. She passed away just before. And she was a very good wife before. And she
was a very good wife will lie, lie. She never told me No. Okay. During we I've been married to her
for almost 50 years. So she never told me. When I was thinking about this, I said, Is it true that a
woman cannot tell her husband? Is it a dad in the world? Even the wives of the province of Milan?
Yes and No, I used to tell them no, even the rights of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Yeah, he had some maybe things with the Prophet sallallahu sallam. So how come this man saying well,
		

			like she never told me? No, she used to please me why she died. And I, Danny I used to love her.
Even when she I wish if I want the love Allah makes her my wife and agenda.
		

			He is exaggerating. No, he's not exaggerating. But see, when a person is looking to the achievement,
he ignores all mistakes, even he doesn't remember them as mistakes.
		

			Okay, please. Okay, let us imagine let us look at this scene with your wife, okay with your wife,
now go back home. And think of making problems and think of not making problems. If you want to
think of problems, you will go back and he will say maybe the house is not very tight. Maybe the
children maybe some of them have not eaten
		

			dinner, maybe I have asked her to do certain things. She has not done that. And then I'll stop
picking. Okay, one mistake. So I will see that she is the worst watching the whole world. But go
home and feel that you are loving your wife. You want to overlook her mistakes. You don't want to
pick on the mistakes, you will see that the house is very nice, very clean. The children are very
happy. Actually. It's better for my children not to have a late dinner. And maybe my wife has been
cooking for a long day. And she's been treating the children and that's why for me because he was
tired. Now I have
		

			the same the same children but it is what is
		

			the perception and that's a very important point that makes you my
		

			life audit makes you in white and miserable life. Okay.