Habib Bobat – Myth 4 A Good Partner Assumes That Nothing Will Change In His Or Her Relationship

			Time for the marriage segment. A quick recap of yesterday's discussion yesterday, we looked at
another myth and another misconception. And that was a good partner always agrees with his or her
spouse.
		

			That's not going to happen in this world yerlan us.
		

			Not in this world, as I mentioned yesterday that children from the same house, from the same
parents, yet they are so different in their thought pattern, they are so different in whatever they
choose, whatever they do, that in itself tells you that we are not the same when it comes to our
choices when it comes to our thinking when it comes to our decision that you make in life. And it's
expected that when husband and wife also get married, they will be some sort of conflict amongst
them. And that conflict is not necessarily unhealthy. It's extremely healthy, like day and night,
they complement each other, day and night, cold and hot. And then you get positive and negative. So
		

			positives always attract. That's what we discussed yesterday. Today, another myth, and that's Myth
number four. Today's myth reads, a good partner assumed that nothing will change in his or her
relationship.
		

			A good partner assumes that nothing will change in his or her relationship.
		

			Many people live in this wall, they think it will always be rosy, it will always be happily ever
after. And they live peacefully.
		

			And they think that life will always be like the first month of marriage. I wish, maybe maybe they
on Mars, maybe it's possible, but not on planet Earth. year where we are staying, things are a bit
different. So we must expect changes in our relationship, this constant changes, then we are always
growing in our relationship. First, we were just husband and wife, then we became parents. So while
to adjust, husband and wife things were fairly smooth between us. But now the attention is divided.
Because there's a baby involved, there's a child involved. So now the attention has to be
distributed between the child between the husband and between the family. So obviously, your share
		

			has been reduced, your role has changed. Also, you have to help in with the diapers, barfing, etc,
etc. So you can see here that your relationship is constantly changing. And each phase
		

			presents a new challenge. And each phase presents a new obstacle. And we have to adapt accordingly.
We can use the same yardstick, we can use the same trick every time. And people's change. People's
temperament also changes according to the face of the marriage.
		

			The mood swings are more when there's a child around because the baby or the child is consuming lots
of your time, lots of your energy, it's a 20 473 65 day job, you've got to be around the baby to
provide it support. something's bothering the child, you have to go there and help the baby out. And
at the same time, see the husband and at the same time see to the house. It's not easy juggling to
all those rules. So what I'm saying to you is that our roads continuously change throughout
marriage. And the phases of marriage also take different turns every now and then. We have to be
astute. We have to adapt accordingly. And move according to the winds chiedere kohana oder Coachella
		

			is the same. So first it does is husband and wife things are moving fairly smooth. We could have
flexible, you could come in and come out at any time. But now, there's a baby involved. There's a
child involved. And it just gets more complex when there's two children, three children, four
children, five children involved, it gets complex as you move further into the journey.
		

			Also, you get different phases in your life, loss of job, the husband lost his job, or the wife lost
his job, you have to make drastic changes. Not like tomorrow, it has to be done like yesterday,
immediate changes take place in the house, we have to cut down on expenses, which brings in tension
within the relationship. So ugly fights to come about because of money matters. Loss of job
finances. These things. It's not like we planned them it comes and it's part of the marriage we have
to pick up on it and we have to move. We have to be mature enough to to handle these situations in
life. You can't sit there and say that no life is unfair to me. Life is really unfair to me. Why?
		

			Am I going through all these problems? Like, hello, everybody goes through the same problems that
you are experiencing, it's just that you are giving up, and others have picked themselves up and
they are moving. So loss of job, finances cut down, there's drastic changes taking place in the
home. And in the marriage as a result of tension. This tension at the end of the day, we are human
beings, when there's a problem, we have problems, then we go through certain problems in our
marriages, then we get depressed, and we tend to take it out on our partners or people around us,
you know, the cycle or it goes.
		

			So that's how it is. These are unforeseen circumstances, sometimes it's an accident of a loved one,
your wife, man meets up in an accident, or the husband meets up in accident, or the son or the
daughter or somebody meets up in an accident. Everybody has to make change or makeshift for that one
person. So that's how it is lots of changes that goes out in marriage, and each phase of our
marriage presents a different challenge. And when you are elderly, there's a different challenge for
the marriage. Now it's medication involved. This this proper support and frail care needed for each
other, the husband needs to support the wife and the wife needs to support the husband even more.
		

			And they need to support each other even more at this stage of their life. Because they are
literally dependent on each other, they cannot live without each other. So that's marriage. So if
you think that marriage is going to stay the same, well, you're in the wrong world, my brother or my
sister, you need to get another boat. This boat that we sailing in the in this direction of marriage
has different phases. Sometimes the waters are calm. And sometimes there's turbulent phases.
Sometimes you need to weather the storm. So that's how life is we need to be practical. We need to
be pragmatic about that when we are in this journey. We must expect some hurdles. And you know,
		

			what's the best part? What's the most accomplishing part? What's the most
		

			gratifying part is when you get through all those hurdles. And at the end of the day, you still see
your partner. We made it to never leave me. We are here. I love you. And that's called a meaningful
relationship. So the mother is a good partner assumes that nothing will change in our relationship.
There is a myth that only happens in fairy tales