Edris Khamissa – Tap into your potential – 11.07.2013

			Cinema alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato Mr. Mohammed Welcome to America on radio Islam
International. And welcome to our guest was speaking to us from Durban whether it is camisa salaam
aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. wailuku. Salaam, WA.
		

			If you see, like, you know, even in my style is there appear to be smiling? I'm here right in front
of my wife, so I need to smile later. No, I never and I'm happy to hear
		

			that I keep that my habit. Strong and forever. Yes, now she's pointing a finger at
		

			911
		

			got lots of pick up. Yeah, that's
		

			one let's dig a little bit got a baby.
		

			Very well, the Montana
		

			Navy. We cannot thank Allah enough for Nepal is bountiful hamdulillah. And the challenge that we
utilize every minute
		

			in Korea, not Israel. And this opportunity will never get again, again, not one day in Ramadan. Lots
can never be brought back in? Oh, yes, definitely not. In this way, we Alhamdulillah welcoming the
Mubarak month of Ramadan, and lots of activity happening on lady Islam during these days as well as
you judge, I'm sure on some of the things. Also. It's an umbrella. You know, I must commend the
people associated with Islam. This Ramadan program, they're they're so creative. It's about
connecting with people, paying tribute to people, sometimes we take these things for granted. And
I'm so glad they're having a program, a tribute to teachers. And, you know, teachers have a very,
		

			very profound impact on people. Like you said, a teacher never knows the influence can stop because
he even affects the destiny of the child. And there are so many beautiful, beautiful quotation I
teachers live forever in the hearts, they touch. So I'm so glad I'm sure listeners have teachers
whose attitude was commitment with passion, whose understanding rarely had left an indelible
impression. And as Muslims, this is the whole point, you know, we have to show gratitude, it's a
it's a religion of gratitude, to be to be thankful to be thankful to Allah for all these bounties.
No, it's definitely better to thank a person was alive and well, then shedding all the tears at the
		

			graveside.
		

			Yes, it is. And,
		

			you know, we are always grateful to Allah subhanaw taala that he has blessed us with such good
teachers, teachers of such caliber who have such great status and have such great qualification that
Alhambra life is through these teachers who have taught us from the very basic of
		

			the ABCs. And they have brought us up to where we are today. And we are able to impart what we have
learned from them. Absolutely. And that this is a point that if I were to look back at my many years
of teaching or being in the profession, I seen a complete metamorphosis or transformation attitudes
of parents. And even learners, there was a time when teachers were held in high esteem at the way
almost like the externalized, conscious of the community, the respected and we were very, very
circumspect, when we're in the presence, even between the public place, if someone told us a teacher
wasn't too far from here, it immediately impacted our behavior. And you find that, I just hope that
		

			I know the I instances in many parents also give teachers the kind of reverence they ought to be
given. And they are the ones that really inspire their own children a respect and love for the Mali
mollema. And that is so critical, because if there is no respect from the very beginning, if there
is an attitudinal problem, then what will happen? Then the teacher notwithstanding his sincerity and
eloquence, will have little or no impact on the child because the child has no respect for him. And
this is so fundamental and
		

			I really hope
		

			The parents of the collective agent sells show respect. I mean, you get those parents might argue,
you know, we don't have those kinds of features today, it is developed to a point but they need a
teachers are there professions of the prophet or not before the loneliest. And then they said very
clearly that have come here as a teacher. And I found Alhamdulillah, that in the main, wherever I
go, when I meet my ex pupils, and many of them are doing so well, in whatever they do. And many of
them still look up to you with respect. And you think great joy, and great joy. When you see them
doing well, you feel great joy, when they are learning to serve other people to get great joy, when
		

			they are part of other institutions, and playing a very, very important role. And sometimes silently
you think maybe, maybe I might have contributed my own little way. But I have no doubt the teachings
of the collective have a profound impact I was reading some years ago. And you know, often you find
a teacher, sometimes they blame the home, they blame the external environment, for the whole range
of things. He said, with this kind of issues that impinge on what we do, how can we have a impact on
human impact on our children, and I read the same is still true, he said that, while we may not have
control about the environment, outside of school, but in school, we have the computer completely
		

			charged of the environment, you know, we completely charged the environment, it's an environment,
they can determine whether the environment is going to be a pleasant one, a healthy one, we can
determine the ethos,
		

			ethos Alhamdulillah, and I was reading yesterday,
		

			you know, as a wonderful book, I'm not too certain came across this. It's called Nebraska life, a
student's day at network olema moments occur naturally, a very, very powerful book about, you know,
		

			the dark room, and the teachers that kind of respect the student had, and it's really something that
I would recommend to people. And and I think it's important, and I hope also, especially in this day
and age, that parents encourage their children to become teachers, they must encourage the child to
become teachers, because I regard it as a noble profession. And now even once the people talk about
the doctors and nurses it is a noble profession, that nothing is as powerful as the teacher.
		

			It is by inshallah, as is in our program. Today, we are going to focus on on a few things, besides
just being features. And from the law, they seem to be a lot mentioned about the teachers and the
role that they play in the lives of the learners, and the profound impact that they have in China
that will be discussed at length during the theater tribute but particularly with regards to our
program. Today, we're going to be discussing relationships in shallow houses, and with regards to
the improving relationships during the month of Ramadan using this opportunity of patients of shavon
also not playing his role in spoiling relationships, and using this as an opportunity of improving
		

			relationships in Shama nothing is
		

			so significant that we need to speak about the I mean, one of the negatives you can leave with your
children is teaching them how to deal with people. And you have all kinds of people, people with
different attitude values, different temperaments, different social backgrounds, different material
background, a different attitude towards ambition life and, and the many, many things and
fortunately, is a child whose parents themselves are eloquent examples of how to deal with people
how to deal with each other. And when children grew up in that environment, they will be able to
adapt very, very easily to different situations with different kinds of people. And they know for
		

			example, with a particular individual, they know exactly Listen, I cannot, you know, say certain
things because I know he's sensitive to that. Or, for example, this particular individual has a
very, very short fuse as it were. So I would need to use a lot more wisdom when I'm discussing an
issue. And so relationships are very important than what is worth that, you know, it says
		

			You need even the month of Ramadan, we find that even brothers sisters husband wife relationship has
been acrimonious or bitter. And they continue that relationship. And and they think and sadly and
see what is important. They think they're longer guided by five candidates. I finished many, many
customs of the Quran, I pay my soccer I do all of those things. Even if I do not have a good
relationship with my husband or wife, even if I do not forgive, I will forgive me. I mean, how can
we make that assumption? How can you be so presumptuous? important? I mean, it's to me smacks of
hypocrisy, that the person is so immersed in the Quran, yet, you have not embraced the teaching of
		

			the Quran, he has not embraced the junction of the Quran. And that to me koperasi. So I think it's
important is fundamental, that we reach out to other people. Even though even though you feel
uncomfortable about even though you may proceed, developers will not respond to you. And one of the
messages I put on Facebook the other day, I said that even if you are in pursuit of your own
happiness, that doesn't give you a right to run roughshod over the feelings of people close to you,
and even those that are concerned about.
		

			And during this month of Ramadan, we Alhamdulillah protected from the evil whispers of shavon. And
we are protected from shavon, causing rifts and causing splits between us and
		

			inciting us to destroy relationships Alhamdulillah that is one boon it is in Yama from Allah
subhanho wa Taala. And even throughout our lives, this lesson of shape and distancing himself away
from us during the month of Ramadan is a lesson for the rest of our lives. That whenever we are
faced with a choice of either making or breaking a relationship that we should do is eat alveolar
immunity upon your machine and seek a less protection and in some houses through that Allah subhanho
wa Taala will save us and Allah subhanho wa Taala will
		

			maybe make it easy for us to rather save the relationship instead of destroying the relationship.
That's very true. And this is the point. The point is that we need to ask ourselves this important
question, in the month of Ramadan. With the former burqa, we don't have an opportunity, or rather
this spring of shaytan is not impacting on your relationship with others. What is holding you back.
And most significantly, you got to imagine yourself in the twilight years of your life. You are
there, you're completely helpless. Now you're thinking back at your life, and ask yourself, what
regrets would you have in terms of those relationships? Would you have any regrets? I mean, the last
		

			thing you want is a renewed tie that the people's bubble was and people's may not,
		

			you know, articulate it, but they feel deep down a kind of resentment. And what is worse, sometimes
we draw the picture for the summons. janazah because of your own attitude towards the individual for
me, you know, and I think it's for most people. To me, it's hypocritical that on the one hand, we
are in the month of Ramadan, you know, seeking, you know, the you know, Allah forgiveness. You see,
the first 10 days is murky and the second 10 day forgiveness allows to save us from the fire of
*. So we want to seek His forgiveness is begging for forgiveness, yet, we do not want to forgive
other people. And to me it doesn't make sense.
		

			Unless we cannot allocate as it is why we have situations when we have people that during the month
of Ramadan as well. And other times they find it very difficult to be able to improve relationships
and they find it that they aren't able to improve relationships. Do we really have people who just
don't want to? Or is it that they don't have the capability within them to improve the presentation?
I think there are many multisectorial On the one hand, there are people who like to be than throw
themselves because what happens they're comfortable with themselves and you find the the call a kind
of silence around them. There are others who have an exceptionally extreme low self esteem. They
		

			cannot initiate the relationship. The anything is said by the other person the view to suspicion
		

			depressed, nice everything, even the person had no intention of hurting, or even the words
themselves will not necessarily hurt you, but because of your own ultra sensitivity that happens.
And you'll find that especially in this day and age, when our children are growing up with gadgets,
and he spoke about this last and we'll get some new social media, they are very, very exuberant in a
good kind of conversation, maybe not to the other person, through Facebook, Twitter, and all the
other paraphernalia, but yet you find them they are on a one to one they find difficult to find many
of them are reluctant to go to social gatherings, they don't want to go for weddings, or when they
		

			are lots of people. Because then you find, then they are obliged to interact, you're obliged to
respond. So they it's many reasons. And therefore, as parents, I think it's important that we need
to hold our kids social skills as part of being Ouma. Therefore, we are told by the burqa v salon,
the mod is far greater than living at home, why do you need to perform * we can do their own time
because we collectively, right because your your your patience is also tested, why we need to go out
and seek a living, we've got to go out, we've got to do these things. So we got to be a part of
humanity. And we need to interact with each other. But my heart goes out to those young people and
		

			adults who feel socially very, very awkward. And what is even more painful and poignant is when they
themselves when they get married, they somehow do not want to speak or share anything that goes on
the heart, that also has an adverse effect on the relationship. So the reasons are multifactorial,
some of them inner, the fear that, you know, they might be exposed because of the limited knowledge
or the feeling secure. So it's a number of factors and therefore, an employee refer to this, I think
all of us need to get to know who we are, we need to discover ourselves, we need to ask ourselves,
what is it that motivates us? What is it you know, why is it that individual instead of 15 in any
		

			company is able to adapt to the young, the old? I mean, what is it and if you speak to such
individuals, many of them will probably tell you they can tell different kinds of fears, but how,
you know, that dealt with those fears, and the kind of support they had around them? Yes, not all of
us are going to be completely gregarious, and you know, fun loving and that kind of thing. And we
all have different temperaments. But what is important the basic The bottom line is that you
therefore there are two steps are number one because it's quite it's it's a beginning of the
relationship. And I think that our children need far more confidence in that because instead of them
		

			getting familiar with things they need to understand how to deal with people.
		

			It is a you have to take a short break now and inshallah we'll come back just after the break.
Continuing with our discussion. Stay tuned to Allah Masha conveyed Islam International.
		

			For me,
		

			no matter where you come from or what language you speak, there is mostly space as a place to go to
stock motor spares and accessories of high standards had an impressive price years of experience in
the motor space industry ensures that you get the best advice there is motor spares for the HP days
Avenue elverta north, O double 190131 double zero
		

			cash and carry wholesalers have a variety of household products including cosmetics, groceries,
sweets, and many more items. Visit Devlin cash and cash corner club paths and piston roll
		

			in store specials that's Devin cash and carry telephone zero double 1989 double eight double zero
		

			creations have just launched a new clumsy and contemporary couture range of abayas for each 2013
their exciting range of captain's scars as designer men's and boys have just arrived. visit them at
their newly refurbished boutique at 15. Status 3d extension three lenasia Classic creations the
ultimate in the buyers who double 18544195 double one a 544195 has more than five bullets in Islam
it is an obligation to pays a car to purify your wealth by sharing a portion with the neediest for
people. Islamic Relief. The largest Muslim organization in the world makes it possible for your
donations.
		

			reach millions of people across the globe, giving them hope, dignity and the power to live
meaningful lives. Share part of your wealth visit Ramadan and multiply your rewards call Islamic
Relief on Oh 800 triple 1898 or visit Islamic Relief today to find out more beautiful reading like
this and not one beautiful buyer that gets my attention. Look over there. She looks like she's from
somewhere far.
		

			She must have bought it overseas pupils wrong. I do all my buyer shopping as exclusive abayas
exclusive abayas Stokes garments made up the finest fabric as a price so affordable, it will amaze
you Oh 729 double 15895 or visit them at 29 pickfu Avenue extension one the nasia basking in its
brilliance as it overcomes its challenges slicing a path towards victory. These are the attributes
and splendor opposite. They have always been certain people who carry such strength and courage
throughout the turbulent voyage of their lives who showcase these qualities associated with
		

			qualities that cause them to stand out from the rest. If you're one of these strong women overcoming
a rare disability or know of someone who has that this platform and campaign is dedicated to you
share with us and I will listen to the story of your life as you slice apart through the challenges
caused by your disability and conveyed to us away from you gain strength and courage. The sole
campaign is open to any female participants 18 years or older It may also be a written on behalf of
someone entry should be faxed or emailed radio Islam no later than the 31st of July and should not
exceed 500 words you may email your entry Jew sword at Radio Islam live.com or faxes u zero double
		

			18547024 or drop it off and I will radio Islam studios you need to this campaign
		

			every Tuesday afternoons from two to 3pm during the month of Ramadan Ramadan 1430 forceful campaign
showcasing strong women overcoming disabilities
		

			The time is don't again to express our thanks to the Almighty Allah for an opportunity to experience
another Ramadan together with you Sam welcomes you have a new and loyal listeners to shape in our
special programming this month. Join us for brand new programs this Ramadan including special
tribute to the teachers of the oma
		

			our decoder distribution project and our special short campaign designed to inspire and recognize
woman overcoming racism. Our much anticipated Ramadan drama series loving life as weekdays during
Ramadan remains spiritually revitalized with radio Islam International.
		

			And
		

			with the sunrises it rises for everyone showing Milan a teenager starts on Monday through Thursday
between 11 and 12pm lives out of ermelo Mpumalanga, the place with the sunrises regular
contributions line will burn Milena as mature
		

			and Idris homies
		

			Welcome back to America on radio Islam International. It is just 12 minutes before 12 and welcome
back to our guest Dr. Ed service Assalamualaikum.
		

			It is by speaking about relationships during the month of Ramadan, you are always on the ball with
people asking you about advice asking you for advice about dealing with problems that we have in the
relationships parents with children, marital problems, brothers, siblings, and other sorts of
relationships. What sort of issues have you had to deal with over the past few weeks and give us an
idea of what sort of issues social issues are positing the oma
		

			know, there are many, many issues that are bothering the oma. I think one of the things that worries
me is that if you look at the marital relationships is is one of them or both of them have given up
when they themselves have said you know what, my husband will not change and you'll see my time.
That worries me. But I tried to convince them that your husband will change
		

			And this is the point. The point is, is that whenever someone makes an effort to go to a counselor,
that the indications the matter, Honey, can you make the tone the same thing that the counselor can,
it does not mean that the counselor is wasting his time I, whenever I meet with couples, I am an
eternal optimist, I believe completely in endless mercy, that you walk towards Allah, Allah run
towards you, there are people who have completely given up. So my strategy is, you know, that I
would go out there, and I will not be hard or just try to win the support, and take it a step at a
time. And there are many examples of when either one or both that initially given up, then they
		

			became receptive and open to it. Give me a chance to look at things turn around, and disappoint. The
point is that in relationships, you got to understand that no two people are the same. That you are
a product of your own life experiences. And your partner is a product of our own life experiences.
You might have been brought up in a home where there wasn't much discussion, conversation, laughter
play to the tediousness and people spoke when they had to come very, very functional, they were not
expressive about the emotions and love. And you yourself grew up in a home the complete opposite. So
now, to expect to change a partner overnight, we will not be saved, if we change the temperature of
		

			the person personality. And that is even more difficult. So I still want to eat what because this
typical understanding that makes a huge difference. And I find that this is an area that couples
need to understand that both of you products have different life experiences one aspect, the second
thing that I want to really encourage parents, that from the time the child is born, and the child
reaches, you know, a reasonable age of understanding, because to have in our homes, disciplinary
measures, the children should not be allowed to do things with impunity. And you'll find that in the
recent past, more and more, I have to say, you know, I'm so scared, you know, to reprimand My child,
		

			in case you see them the way you want to think that, you know, our friends only spoke about that. We
never, you know, if you take them to run away or
		

			not. Hand, we know we'll come back. And so what I'm concerned with is almost like an emotional kind
of blackmail. So I think it's important that parents, when you bring up your children record to
create in your home, an atmosphere of love and affection. So children know, they cannot believe this
home that the game leader and to live a life that is devoid of all of these things. And it's
important they grow up, because you cannot protect your kids from consequences and accountability.
That's the second. The third thing that is a very grave concern is that nowadays, there's an
inversion in the values that parents, kids are reprimanding the parents. The numbers are decreasing.
		

			It's unbelievable. Where a son can get the money, father mother is here to tell you anything. And
this is the other area that I'm dealing with. And of course, the many other areas. But the long and
short of it only. You know, if you ask me, why is this all happening? I think there are a number of
reasons. Number one,
		

			I think we have forgotten what our role and purpose is.
		

			You know, as a father, what is my role? As a mother? What is my role? Secondly, I think we have
forgotten that Allah is a provider, that we think we are the persons that are providing meals for
the family. And once you realize that, then you'll begin to surrender yourself more and more to
Allah. And you'll be like the bird that leave the nest on an empty stomach to return with a full
stomach. And once you understand that, because you find that you look at people today. They have
lost the spontaneity, they don't smile. They are preoccupied in company. They look depressed. They
don't bring joy to other people. And they are fighting meaning the concern about things that unlike
		

			me, the promise of Allah is a provider that I think the more we learn to understand that the more
confidence and faith you have in Allah will see the doors opening and if you are willing to
		

			Make your employers as your demigod,
		

			and taking good care of yourself with them is like a committee shirt, you know, that. That's another
area. The fourth area is that, you know, we have forgotten the value of extended family, we have
forgotten to interact with them. And it's important when kids grow up with extended family and
relationships are harmonious, the neighboring one can have a profound impact on our children. And
the last point, I mean, because of time is that many of our kids today
		

			have products of internet, or television, video games, and all of that. And as a result, we become
so obsessed with it, that they have literally no time to interact with the family. So the long and
short of it is we are in the month of Ramadan. Let us refocus on our purpose letters, reconnect
letters have a timetable, for example, decided, you know, that you need one part of the procedure,
the
		

			reader will see, we will talk to each other, we make sure that you spend enough time, you know,
interact with each other create a peace and harmony at home. And you need to have an objective and
every family has have their own goals, you know?
		

			Yes. It's so important what you mentioned. Now, it is by about people who are finding themselves in
company and they're not
		

			interacting with people they don't know how to talk, they don't know how to speak to people, they
don't know how to strike a conversation. There's there's absolutely nothing that is happening. Now.
It is very Remember last week I told you about my kids and that I took away.
		

			Yes.
		

			And this way, I can tell you that there is a tremendous marked marked improvement in in the way we
talk the way they interact with each other the way we interact with us their responsiveness when we
talk to them. And they'd be like missing it. They're not missing. They're not asking for pay. They
asked for literary occasions, if please can you bring it for us, but they're not in that stage of
craving for it or having sort of relapse, and things like that. And I would definitely suggest it to
all parents. And I would say that if you want to get your children back in, you want to really have
children, then then take away all the devices from them. Absolutely, because I mean, studies have
		

			shown that these devices called ADHD, anger, temper tantrum, a whole range of the defects in the
mind. It stifles the creativity, you find that it has a profound impact on the it's also developed,
fixated on the self esteem. And this is a point to see Montana and defend what you are saying is
that one of the things that you need to understand that children grow up, they say, I do this
because it makes me happy. Now, it does not mean because something makes you happy, it is the right
thing to do. So sometimes some people say I'm happier for interacting with people, it does not make
it right. So I think we need to understand that we need to develop in our homes.
		

			And I'm so glad monana what you have done you're leading by example. And you got to make sure you
sustain creativity and how you spend your free time. It's you know, we need to do that and
incorporate remember love for reading. We need to socialize with them they can have fun also within
a particular framework and industry. Again, many people who are members a friend of mine once said
to be the house was being renovated and and as a result you know that there was no TV room nothing
of the sort. The family had to see each other enough for most parts of the day when they were wrong
and make each kid knocking himself in his own bedroom. They're looking at his own television and as
		

			a result I mean they were just leaving their their functional they were biologically connected but
not spiritually emotionally connected.
		

			Yes,
		

			it is my brings us to the end of our program today and we thank you for your time in Sharma has us
we will speak to you next week Thursday. inshallah Milan do remember
		

			we are lucky to strong completely by this the other day adjusting to run a program
		

			about
		

			testing and may continue to inspire, inform insha Allah Allah bless you look up the interpreter. I
mean, I mean just like wanna say ladies first mid Kumamoto Mahabharata
		

			Local phenomenon
		

			that was recently speaking to us from Devon this morning she from Zealand my studio operator
brothers here and inshallah I'll be back with you on Saturday on the managers on the air program
from Tunisia said Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh