Edris Khamissa – Tap into your potential – 07.11.2013

Edris Khamissa
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			Kumara Allahu Allah wa barakato Helen was silent Omar haben Welcome to Al mashreq on radio Islam
international and you must be hearing an extra spring in my voice. Well, that's because our very
esteemed and honored guest who joins us on a Thursday morning usually from around different parts of
the world. I wouldn't say just on the telephone floor but on the telephone from different parts of
the world. Rather, Idris camisa is sitting in our lenasia Studios this morning, sir hamdulillah.
It's an honor to have it this way. Now, Indonesia studios, unfortunately, I am not there with him.
But we at least have him stationed on the ground with us this morning. It is via salaam aleikum wa
		
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			rahmatullah wa barakato while they come
		
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			up with the lights Barakatuhu You know what? We spoke about esteemed guests. I was looking around me
you know, I found no one else today maybe somebody's talking about me.
		
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			If I just spoke to my engineer, so he says it's so nice to have at least by being in the studio it's
much better than having you
		
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			know, molana I hope you don't feel a sense of rejection and all that I love you too much. Right? And
in the lobby, we really appreciate your inputs and Alhamdulillah and I cannot thank Allah enough
that you and I engage in this conversation shall Russia is by inshallah, we will look today a little
bit of the cases that you've been dealing with over the past few weeks that we haven't been speaking
also. And then inshallah look at our discussion for today as well inshallah. So it's all going to be
coming up on our program this morning. First up, we'll have to take a break for our first round of
edits and then we can go on to our main discussion in Sharla has is listening to American ladies
		
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			time International, my name is Janine, my guest this morning, whether you please call me so sitting
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			With the sunrises it rises for everyone showing Milena Jean. He starts on Monday to Thursday between
11 and 12pm live out of ermelo into Malanga, the place with the sunrises regular contributions by
Milan,
		
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			Milan.
		
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			And Idris camisa.
		
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			Welcome back to Islam International. And welcome back to Idris, some Isa Idris by
		
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			you've been away all over the world and you've you've traveled to Canada, we've heard about your
trip while you were there as well. And then after we record a bit of a report back, and then we've
been destined for a few weeks. And you may have had many, many different issues that you have dealt
with in the last few weeks. Let's just enlighten us on those few issues and what lessons can we draw
from them? Yeah, Alhamdulillah
		
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			you know, molana, I look at this for five anymore. But it's true. I think in each of the challenges
that families face, you'll find that there are solutions to this problem. But as my in my preamble,
what I would like to say is this. This is my humble advice
		
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			to couples, I know often means the stick to the program. They feel I have a bias towards the
sisters. But what I need to say that I must suggesting that our sisters are angelic, they do not
make mistakes. But often we find that the kind of support that is needed
		
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			In healing, needing support from our male counterparts. And what is important is this that in
marriage, and I'll share the few principles first, before I look at specific examples, in marriage,
you must understand that if there is an issue, it may not appear to you to be an issue. But your
partner it is an issue. Do not ignore it, do not ignore it, you'll ignore it at your own peril. And
sometimes we think that we have such a stranglehold over our spouses, they have no place to go. So
we can do whatever we want, whenever we want. And we did not give them dignity. And suddenly, it
happens. One day, you find the wife says, I had enough, I cannot take it anymore. And then what you
		
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			find that the things have changed, suddenly, the man shows the most, he shows compunction, and he's
very, very upset. And he wants a resolution and he wants his wife to come back. Now. Now now. And
the critical aspect is this, that on the level of the wife, what emotions has she's gone through
now, she has come to a point of no return. She's got contempt. She's got disdain. She's
stonewalling. And she's full of criticism. In fact, when she sees a partner, she looks at him, not
with love and affection. But with this day with this, she despises him. And she would say, I have no
love for him. And at this stage, you find the man is the muscle is emotional, and he's crying. And
		
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			so when I speak to them, because I'm dealing with one example, at the moment, when I speak to them,
the woman does not believe that the husband was married for however long we change. So now, it's a
very difficult situation. On the one hand, I really believe in our capacity to change in, I really
believe that we can do things differently. So my whole whole point in life is this, that do not
ignore any situation at all. And no matter how trivial you may perceive it, if it is impacting on
the marriage, a deal with it, and moreso, when you are wanting to reconcile, you've got to, as they
say, when they are radical problems, there has to be radical solutions. Right? So that's one
		
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			principle This is based on one particular scenario that I'm dealing with.
		
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			Yes.
		
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			When we speak about these problems, they are between between husband and wife, and especially when
it is long term problems that things have been going on for long. It is why what what perplexes? Me
What makes me a bit confused in regards to these problems is that why do people allow it to carry on
for so long? Why do they allow it to develop and, and for so long before they actually seek advice
and seek help?
		
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			You know, for me, it
		
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			seems that if a person is having a problem, they should deal with it immediately. If they unable to
deal with it themselves immediately, then they should be quick to get a solution and get the
problem. Okay, get some help, instead of allowing you to prove for so long, and then there's so many
issues that end up
		
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			in Montana, it's a very critical point that you're making. There are many reasons for that. The one
is that, you know, often the man has a condescending attitude. He believes that his wife is so
dependent on him materially, and that you take each other for granted. And there are other factors
that contribute to his attitude. Perhaps he's living a life of stress, and he has his own kind of
challenges. And therefore when he comes to the home, you find the home supposed to be a bastion is
supposed to be a sanctuary. And instead of him creating joy, laughter and harmony at home, you'll
find that he gives went through his feelings the people suffer most are the people that he's
		
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			supposed to love. And you find also on the part of the sisters is this that, you know, on the one
hand, he they are subjected to a situation at the beginning of the marriage, where the man is more
inclined and malleable
		
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			to change, they need to raise the issue. And it's important and if they ignore the issue, he could
build up a lot of frustration and also monana I think we as human beings and we are not saying that
we are Angel, a core we are perfect people. We have really taken the institution of marriage
		
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			for granted, we do not realize the importance of this institution, how noble it is, how enabling it
is, and how it's supposed to really, you know, increase your demand, and then your real tests, it
would be how you deal with your partner. And I think this is a fundamental, and I'll just give you
one another example mowlana that brought so much of tears to me, you know, it's a pity. I mean, my
phone is a bit far they've read the text from the sister, she's supposed to phoned me up the other
day, and she apologized profusely, she said, Brother in Greece, please forgive me for not following
you. I'm now sitting in hospital. Because this morning, my husband assaulted me, he broke my leg,
		
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			and my poor child is also injured. Now I cry. How can any person worth his salt? Any brother, any
human being, you can be even an atheist? How can you lay your head on your wife? How could you ever
ever ever do that? And really it you know, I tried to give us some words of assurance. But what
could I do? How much more could I do? You know, as you said, I'm very, very sorry, again, hospital.
Now this is it. Now, you find there are two levels. One level is sometimes these indifference but
the other time when such men such cowards, I call them would raise their hands on the spouses, and
the spouses will stay away from the eye of the community, when they do go out and make excuses for
		
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			all kinds of behavior, because many of them at bay, the situation with, you know, a lot of patience,
you know, and I don't think it is very, very fair, because molana, that painful reality is this, and
I say it all the time, is, it is not so much how you perform in the public arena. In the end, it is
about what your wife would say about you and you die. It's about your children who know you what's
in all I know you, and I will not be allowed to sell them. There was no disparity between his
relationship outside the image people had of him. And that image is confirmed by all the spouses and
vice vice children, about his nobility of character, his kindness, his magnanimity, his compassion,
		
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			his philanthropy, and all of those things. So this is a fundamental. So this is the second case
scenario. You know, and I'm so glad you asked me that question.
		
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			Really a sad story coming out from day three is way better person could have such violent tendencies
that they would raise the hands and one smack or two smacks, not that it's understandable, but to go
to the 16th, of putting your wife into hospital, through your violence and through your aggression.
a loved one was dying, I left Allah help us in Allah subhanho wa Taala protect all women and
children from this type of abuse, no type of abuse at all, is acceptable, and is understandable, it
is beyond me, that a person could raise their hands, to abuse the wife or to hurt the wife in any
way. Gee, maulana, you know, and that is so true. And now to share with you a third scenario, each
		
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			of them is based on the cases I am attending to presently. And I make dua that Allah puts it in
their hearts, to show the most to seek forgiveness, I pray that even the person who is the victim is
receptive to this the most receptive to this forgiveness. The third case scenario I want to pay is
this, about, you know, a budget about actually, you know, many people are having difficulty in
trying to eke out an existence. Financially, they are huge, huge challenges, you find that, you
know, and many of us sadly, live beyond our means. We, we exhaust our credit cards, and, and whole
range of things. And, you know, I've dealt with a case where, you know, a man was really, really
		
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			agitated, in fact, he was so, so afraid of his wife, and he was giving her a Fe, you know,
allowance, you know, I think the allowance was about 60,000 rands a month. And it included her
looking after the home and so on and so forth. And that, but she was comparing her living standards
with the living standards of her peers and everyone else, and you are saying, you know, I'm trying
my very, very best and in fact, I am very, very scared of my wife. And so that is another issue.
There.
		
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			The issue is that,
		
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			as husband and wife, we need to have reciprocal understanding, the man ought to understand the
challenges the wife faces every day. And you need to support her in whatever you do, and however you
do it. Similarly, the men mustn't believe that because I give the material things I shelter my wife
and a whole range of things, that, you know, I can do whatever I want. So I think it's important for
for people to talk about, say, this is my budget, this is our budget, this is what we like to save.
This is what what are your needs and take it from there. I'm not suggesting that you deny your wife,
some of the luxury items. I'm not suggesting that at all. But I think when the man is pressured, and
		
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			then he gets into bankruptcy, he gets into all kinds of deals, hoping to get a quick buck here and
there. I think that is also problematic. And I think men themselves must also be the attorneys of
the house, and learn to say no, you know, to say, listen, we cannot afford this holiday, you got to
go for a local holiday, we and this is what I can afford. And do it that way, you know, and we are
not here to impress people really, because one of the settings that is happening in the community is
that people are not living for themselves. They concern about the image, the concern about how
others look at them. And Islam is about not so much of others look at you, in one sense is about how
		
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			Allah looks at you. And I think it's about living with humility, living within a particular budget,
where you owe nobody anything that when you die, inshallah you are debt free. And that is also
critical.
		
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			That is the important part that when we we need to realize that we are not going to be living
forever. And what we have mentioned now that when we die, we are ready to face our loss of a handle
data. We are not to be living forever, and we have baggage of hurting people and harming people and
causing difficulties to people. We have baggage of death and financial burdens that we living as the
responsibility of our ears. And then we have other baggage as well. So we don't we don't want to
leave this world in that way that we still have to remain answerable. whatever we have done in this
world shouldn't be a cause for difficulties and problems for us in the era, inshallah and Maulana
		
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			me, I don't want to sound like a prophet of doom. Now, these are some of the case there are few
more, but let me talk about some of the positive cases that time No, thank Allah, I cannot take a
lie enough for when the wife had given up on the husband's shown to have nothing to do with them.
And now they're happily married is back in the sharing intimacy with his wife, and he's so happy.
And this is another example of, of a person who's got a few kids came to me and he said he breezed
by, you know, I've got issues in my marriage. And so I, I met with him and he and he was also in the
sense, intimidated by his wife and, and that his wife had given up and he wasn't prepared to see a
		
00:18:19 --> 00:19:03
			counselor. So I said to him, You know what, let me spend time with you. You know, I spoke to him, I
shared, you know, I had some idea from his wife about the negativity, and I met him put two or three
times, I don't always have the better the opportunity to meet people more than once. And then I
share with you my observations, and he's write down notes and effected lots of changes in his life,
you know, in terms of his temperament in terms of his attitude, in terms of, for example, giving his
wife an allowance and all of those things. And then I never went overseas, so I never heard from
him. So I decided to phone him up, you know, because I suppose to have a session with him and his
		
00:19:03 --> 00:19:44
			wife. And that was going to be a very critical session in terms of whether she's going to go ahead
with a marriage or they're going to separate, you know, and I don't like to witness any kind of
separation. So I phoned him up after my overseas trip, and I was so happy. He said, You please buy
my wife and I are so happy we are together. And he said I took your advice. I effected those
changes, and he was so happy. And here is another example where the woman initially gave up hope,
but the main to enjoy himself to his wife change radically and I'm not suggesting that only the men
should do that. I must suggesting that our sisters do not need to also do that. So that was the that
		
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			was a very, very humbling, very, very positive experience right number three law. You know the last
blessing that all these cases with people, you know people ask the question he breezed by, what is
your success rate in the US
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:44
			difficult to quantify. And, you know, I like to believe is what 90% they're about. But the critical
thing is, is that when people are open to criticism, if they're open for change, they're prepared to
take responsibility for who they are. They're prepared to confront at their own demons and their own
shortcomings and they prepare to do it makes a big difference because mana you know, that no two
marriages are the same. No and the needs if marriage may be different, sometimes your wife may feel
insecure, she require more nurturing, more affirmation, more love, and so on and so forth more
communication, and and everyone is different. So it's about you, knowing your partner, knowing
		
00:20:44 --> 00:21:35
			yourself is critical to discover yourself. And that way it makes a huge difference. Mm hmm. 28
minutes after 11 you're listening to machinic aanrader Islam International. My guest this morning
brother Idris camisa. We are discussing marriage and the different issues that it is by has been
dealing with. I've spoken about abuse we spoken about the husband not fulfilling his
responsibilities in duties and we've spoken about marital discord as well. Any SMS or any questions
that you would like to pose to Brother Idris we sitting at the table here in our linear studios,
humans Welcome to SMS 0731738461. We can call on 185438541548 and you can place your calling each
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:47
			other as he is we will speak to you live on the inshallah the short break now. And we will be back
just after that. To the listeners. Stay tuned to our Master COVID Islam International.
		
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			Shalom shamima
		
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			de Cali para cappellini ma spice Ma.
		
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			a chapter in one's life that brings endless joy, happiness and smiles. But how do we maintain the
joy? How do we keep up the smile? And how do we make the happiness last? Tune into radio Islam
international on Saturday mornings between 10 and 11am for the marriage program with milanesa Chico
and Milena Junaid a program that brings you tips remedies and solutions to problems experienced in a
modern day marriage ratio Islamic international uniting a couple uniting.
		
00:24:40 --> 00:24:57
			When the sun rises, it rises for everyone showing Milena Jeannie just sat on ownership Monday to
Thursday between 11 and 12pm lives of the ermelo Mpumalanga the place with the sunrises, regular
contributions Llangollen as
		
00:24:59 --> 00:24:59
			well as much
		
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			Aloha.
		
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			And
		
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			welcome back to my second lady Islam international and very warm welcome back to our guests for the
Idris who is sitting at the table in our Indonesia studios. It is by speaking about marriage. And it
seems like we only seen doom and gloom, how widespread is the issues concerning marriage and how
common these issues when you are getting so many calls each day, and many of the other minds social
workers are getting that many calls, how widespread is the problem, maulana It is very, very
widespread. In fact, I would say that we have a crisis, we have a real crisis. And you find that
every second home and I would say that it is 70% of our homes have some issues in different levels.
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:40
			It is marital discord, it could be regarding the children or some despicable habits that people have
that you know, and Allah must guide as you know, we none of us is perfect. And to give us strength
and inner we need to bring back to our lives align his beloved Rasul sallallahu wasallam. So, it is
very, very widespread. I mean, if I were to talk to 100 people in an audience 100 married people, I
can safely assume that 70% of them have some issues, some issues, some issues in different degrees,
so it's very widespread.
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:46
			You may have received an SMS and perhaps you could just take that now,
		
00:26:47 --> 00:27:04
			for a wonderful program managers truly something wonderful that needs to be worked on in their trade
every day. Problem is many spouses take each other for granted. And these days, there is very little
room for compromise and understanding between spouses. May Allah subhanaw taala help us?
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:13
			Yes, Madonna That is so true. And this is a point to see the point is that it is like this, you
know, we
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:28
			you know, let us say you're staying opposite the ocean, right opposite the river, wherever you are
staying. And initially, you should sit in the veranda and enjoy that beautiful landscape in front of
you.
		
00:27:29 --> 00:28:12
			But over a period of time you take it for granted effect, you don't even go outside anymore, right?
You take it for granted. And others will visit you would say my gosh, you have such a magical view,
liquid allows creation is so magical. And this is a pointer thing, sometimes the the initial
excitement in the marriage, these this anticipation of joy. And then you find slowly a period of
time, that dignity is stripped out to the marriage and you find these now, normal parting words but
harshness you find these impatience and your your your this bullying going on, there is no
recognition and appreciation for any kind of effort, please no more the compliments that are paid
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:52
			the normal idea of praise and, and thanking each other every day, every day, thanking each other
every day for who they are the sacrifice the making, and nothing can be more uplifting than when
your spouse or Thank you, you know, for the things that you do. And you find that many of us sadly,
only appreciate this after we lose our spouse. And, and clearly, you know for me, I really believe
that if you look up your marriage, and if you treat your spouse, with kindness and compassion,
		
00:28:54 --> 00:29:42
			I have no doubt in my mind, that that will increase your Baraka. And Allah will make it easy for
you. And that is important that sometimes we get so obsessed with the finding, earning a living,
that we've become such an integral and obsessor Park for life. That jayvees come home we like
borders at home, he's come to sleep, eat and you in use the facilities and go back every day, day in
and day out. So you gotta stop and ask yourself, at what expense at what expense and becoming a
wealthy person, but I'm not enriching my own life and the lives of my family. I'm a total stranger
to them. And I'm like a bank like ATM. You know, they can withdraw money whenever they want. But
		
00:29:42 --> 00:30:00
			there is no emotional connection. I think that is a question of priorities. And we should make
family life the single most important priority in our life and I say family life. I'm not saying at
the expense of spirituality. I'm not saying the expense of your relationship, a line of course, your
relationship
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:07
			Suppose Allah will determine how you treat your family this is, you know, it is an integral and
inextricable part of your life, you know.
		
00:30:09 --> 00:30:10
			Okay.
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:14
			If you like coming to this
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:25
			discussion on marital discord and in particularly the second case that you mentioned, you are
dealing with the issue of abuse.
		
00:30:27 --> 00:30:35
			We have many times spoken about abuse is spoken about emotional abuse, psychological abuse, physical
abuse, spoke about the harms of abuse.
		
00:30:37 --> 00:31:21
			You have been dealing with these cases for many, many years. And, well, what are the some of the
long term effects of abuse? You know, after many, many years, what happens after it does that to the
husband actually is the form do they realize, in the old age that I'm not doing the right thing that
I'm supposed to be treating this human being differently. But as you just continue and carry on, you
see it, it all depends, you see anything in life, if you're not prepared to acknowledge who you are,
if you're not prepared to realize that these are your shortcomings, then you're not going to look
for advice. But one of the things that worries me these almost like a schizophrenic personality that
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:33
			a Tom, you find that the abuse takes place, but yet this person has a different public persona. And
over a period of time, it becomes you become a creature of habit, because you're taking your
		
00:31:34 --> 00:32:25
			your family for granted this fear, you do not mind it, because you've got space, but the impact it
has on your wife and your kids, that's really something that is very, very pernicious is very, very
harmful. For example, it can affect your wife's personality forever. It can erode the self esteem,
it can create insecurity. If she can become a nervous wreck, you find that psychologically, she
lives in fear all the time. And you'll find that it impacts on communication, and it impacts on the
marriage. And you find that she suffers silently. She cuts herself socially from all events. And
you'll find this he goes on and on and on and on. And you find that you really become a monster in
		
00:32:25 --> 00:33:09
			the end. I mean, there are some things Yes, in life that are out of your control. And you need to
seek help. And sometimes it might require some medication. Sometimes it's about you reassessing your
attitude. Sometimes it could be, as we always say, you're a product of your own environment, maybe
this was the pattern of behavior of your father, for example, there are some schools, in many parts
of the world, you find that the, especially the little boys that come to school and have in the
foundation phase, did not respect female teachers. And they began to wonder why. And after some
analysis, some study some reflection, they realize, wow, you know, that these kids come from a home
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:51
			with the Father is the abuser. And the little boy thinks this is how the world is all about that,
you know, you can talk to the woman anyhow, they are not worthy of any dignity, they can be
demeaned, they can be insulted. And this is like all about there is no respect for the female. And
this is the pattern. So when you talk about this, look at each of the abuse, you look at
psychological abuse, and that's something destroys the mind. It destroys the attitude, it destroys
everything she feels about herself, as she looks at the world with the different lenses jeans is a
tainted experience. When it comes to physical abuse, you know, you're scarring her both physically
		
00:33:51 --> 00:34:36
			and emotionally. You are rarely, you know, a damaging her. You are, you know, impairing her beauty
and all those physical aspect, right? So I think it's multifactorial, and you and I know as our Navy
SEAL allowed, Islam reminded us far worse to break the Kaaba is to break the heart of a believer,
and your wife is part of the beauty of the beast and allow yourself at the same time, I need to just
sit back and reflect on something else, that sometimes women and men are also subjected to the
abuse. I find many men a great number of there are the many men who are really intimidated by the
wives who are even afraid of the wives. And sometimes some women punish their husbands physically,
		
00:34:37 --> 00:35:00
			and they often get the children to support them in this. And I've dealt with that case also, you
know, with a man is in fear when he becomes a nervous wreck. So any kind of abuse on either side. I
mean to insult someone, or to make an innuendo or to undermine me in public. I mean, the worst thing
ever, is to insult your spouse.
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:05
			In the public arena, I mean, what, why you may take, what message Are you giving?
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:08
			Is
		
00:35:09 --> 00:35:58
			that you're you're currently to lenasia? Is it true for a particular program? Are you the
university? No, I'm pretty law. I came in here on the Monday morning, at a few couples wanted to see
me. So I met with them, then I just it was been very, very full. And then I spent some time with
also, you know, one and Robert, we did some sessions together. And then I, we are forming a public
speaking Academy. And we just come now from a meeting with mana Sabine, from Zachary APA. And I said
to him that, you know, we are prepared to offer this course, free of charge for all the find all the
students there, teaching them the art of public speaking, and add to share with them is going to be
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:46
			a week cause for hours every day, with examples, and so on and so forth. And I met with molana this
morning, and then I meet with others that were forming this organization to develop this. And
really, I think it's important, especially in whether you are going to speak in public or not, it's
an art that we need to learn. For example, you know, how do you kill the fear of public speaking?
How do you introduce yourself? How do you connect with the audience? What kind of topics you should
speak about? And at what level so the public speaking is one particular arena, and then, you know, I
also came here, inshallah, the idea meeting, it's a personal my business thing now, with lendman.
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:59
			I've done the program for new Shifa Hospital, and hamdulillah with Allah blessing, it was
successful. So Len may want to also engage me to do this another hospital. So at that meeting, and
after this extra day,
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:40
			I'm bringing today's another family I'm going to see and that family may make dua for them, they
have the wife and the kids are so afraid of the, of the husband, and that so they come to meet with
them. And then we do have another meeting then I also had a meeting with Alhamdulillah with the
African Muslim agency, and they wanted me to develop a chain modules on leadership, which I'm busy
doing so it's been very, very busy. Alhamdulillah and you know, it's very fulfilling and the you
know, I couldn't have organized the Soviets only flawless blessing. Everything you know, has been
wonderful and
		
00:37:41 --> 00:37:57
			and with our last lesson, I made some of my friends you know, firoz psychology is mostly by Patel.
Mom with them in mind, we all had lunch together. So it's social and also for my Rosie Alhamdulillah
and so it's great
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:44
			and hungry electrical energy back through this whole position your Mashallah you've managed to fit
us in Israel and visit our our station. No, no manana for me this really, you know, my participating
I'm not talking about, you know, me, per se, I find it very, very enriching. And I'm also beholden,
or emboldened rather, by the fact that you know, when people you meet some people and they say to
you, you know, we listen to you and one night you need and, and the big difference to our lives
because we are not here to demean or denigrate anyone, and we want people listening to us, not to
give up hope in Allah not to give up hope in the partner or in the children not to give up hope they
		
00:38:44 --> 00:39:27
			must stay in relationship. And you know, and make sure that throughout the treat each other with
dignity, so alimony law, you know, I cannot and I'm sure you too mowlana cannot think ally enough
that we have this golden opportunity of using the medium of this radio station to get into the homes
in the hearts of people. And you find that you know, and in many parts of the world, they listen to
a radio Islam and we are not blessed. You know, everyone involved with this nation shall I mean, I
mean, I mean, we have to take a short break again and when we come back we'll we'll conclude our
program inshallah, to the listeners, you listening to my second lady slam International. Stay tuned,
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:36
			we'll be back just after the break. She's supportive, and helping the most needy and the orphans in
South Africa and overseas. Donate to soccer, soccer,
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:59
			donate online at www dot Islamic dot coser visits the Islamic Relief offices in Johannesburg, Cape
Town, seven Pietermaritzburg, or call 861 number one to double for Islamic Relief since 1984,
helping the world's poorest people. Essentially all traders supermarket as fathers for the Devlin
session can
		
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			for
		
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			Tea
		
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			Okey dokey
		
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			t
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:36
			With the sun rises, it rises for everyone showing Milena Jean. He starts on Monday to Thursday
between 11 and 12pm. Live out of ermelo Mpumalanga, the place with the sunrises regular
contributions Llangollen
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:37
			Milena
		
00:45:46 --> 00:45:47
			Welcome back to
		
00:45:49 --> 00:46:31
			Islam internationally. My guest this morning by the Idris camisa was with us in the studio this
morning it is by welcome back just the last few words of advice that we can share with our
listeners. While you are here at the studios in lenasia extra Baraka extra Nur inshallah, and last
few words to make that to make them managers happy, make the managers successful, something that
would encourage them to do any work on their managers, so that they don't give up. You know, manana.
It's such a powerful thing you're asking me right? For me is this I think, whether we like it or
not, you know, we are mortal human beings. And it can happen any time. I often ask people write
		
00:46:31 --> 00:47:17
			down, what are your regrets? What do you think would be your regrets? write it all down, and then
write it down. I said to them now, if you think these are going to be your regrets, aren't you a
fool not to do something about it? And especially your relationships? And the question is, you would
ask yourself, how would I like my wife or husband to remember me? If people ask my wife or my
husband, for example, tell me about him or her? What would you like them to say? What do you like to
hear? And it's important that we be that models because it is so critical. Your agenda primarily is
dependent on your relationships at home, of course you've got to fulfill your salon all of those
		
00:47:17 --> 00:48:06
			things, but if your home is unhappy with you, if your children despise you, if they regard you as a
person not worthy of emulation, if your wife or husband having a have an acrimonious relationship
with you, so then you find that you No No So will it be with Allah sees important that no matter who
you are outside no matter how loving you are, you be that person at home and you can do it there's
no such thing as I cannot it's not me it's not my point is my personalities like this. Don't find
excuses my brothers do not find any excuses do something now be the change agent. Be loving give
your sushi Baba Lena I heard Angela Dunning I love you. Please forgive me, my bread bear. Please
		
00:48:06 --> 00:48:26
			forgive me and my dog. do those things create a atmosphere of love because if today companies are
found that when couples are happy at home, then they can unleash the full potential in the
workplace. So that's my advice. Look at yourself, confront yourself, know who you are, and make sure
you do things differently
		
00:48:31 --> 00:49:15
			even for your family, thank you very very much. And it's been a pleasure having you live in the
studios with us not just on the telephone from different parts of the world. It's been different
it's been special and inshallah Razzies. We hope to speak to you again next week in sha Allah Allah
bless you Maulana you look up yourself and keep up the sterling work right Milena, I mean, Islam
Allah calm Malika masala rahmatullah wa barakato. That was Idris camisa. speaking to us live from
the names of studios this morning. You can just listen to my studio operator, and I'm sure he's
smiling just by meeting easiest VIP. I'm envious like I can meet myself. But inshallah Aziz, we will
		
00:49:15 --> 00:49:21
			be speaking again from myself on this Thursday morning Muslim alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato.