Ebrahim Gabriels – Marriage conference 2022
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Honor, honorable,
MC,
Uncle Idris Allah, respected olamah Elders, mothers and
fathers, sisters and brothers, honorable youth, I greet you with
the universal greetings of love and peace and honor and respect
and mercy. Assalamu. Alaikum.
Masha Allah, we I've seen so many beautiful people here today, only
beautiful people, and it was a pleasure to listen to our
international speakers, Sister Hali sister Mariam, I'm a strong
promoter of this ummah need strong female leadership, and I'm so glad
that our two sisters delivered such powerful messages today.
Alhamdulillah, granted from Cape Town, also great female leaders is
going to emerge inshallah.
And I know it's getting late afternoon, so I just want to
lighten up your Sunday afternoon with two light notes.
The first one goes like this. There was a big party in the
jungle. It was the birthday of the oldest lion. So all the lions were
invited, and they were all running. You must know how the
lions are running. And as they were running, they saw a small,
little kitten next to them, and they looked to one another and and
they asked him, no kitten now.
Where are you going? It's only for invited guests, only lions. He
says, Now, I was a lion before, but since the day I got married, I
became a kitten
akachi in Cape Town called takachi. So the important part
Shukran, the moral of the story is, when you get married, don't
keep you like a lion. Keep my you like a kitten.
Yeah, the second light note goes like this.
This young man was about to get married, so he asked his friends,
now, how do you do the first night?
Like like Sister Ali spoke, how do you start the internal moment,
intimate moments?
So they said say to him, brother, it's very easy. The night of the
wedding, everybody's gone. You pick up your wife, your wife, you
put her on the bed, and you take your right hand and just rub on
the foot, and you sing, I love you.
I love you. Oh, so. So it came that night and he did exactly what
his friends told him, and he was doing, I love you. But it went on
for 45 minutes,
and his wife said to him, lower easily. Oh, love you.
Yeah,
I feel extremely honored to be here, Alhamdulillah,
for this great and amazing global, international marriage Conference,
which is much needed in today's world.
Alhamdulillah, I've been given the the one of the most important
topics, and that is family matters,
and the reason why it is so important because, as all of you
know,
families are the most essential building blocks of society.
Good and strong families develop and produce good spouses a good
and strong family secures a home filled with love, respect,
security, peace and honor.
My dear ones, the objective of the objective of this conference is
that it must make an impact on our lives. And I can honestly tell
you,
listening to the speakers before me, it has made already impact on
my life. Alhamdulillah.
And yes, our lives are full of stress, anxiety, negative things,
but today, we just want to be positive and constructive and
productive.
So the first positive point I want to share with you is an amazing
hadith of our beloved Nabi Muhammad, sallAllahu, sallam. And
the reason why I say it's amazing because some of the Allah says,
some of the Allah say that a quarter of the deen of Islam
revolves around this hadith. Some of them says half of the deen.
Some of them says three quarters of the deen revolves around this
hadith. And some even says that the whole Deen of Islam revolves
around this hadith, and this hadith is in Namal, Amal piniyat,
all your actions.
In your whole life, and all your deeds will be judged by Allah and
rewarded by Allah according to your intentions.
I must share also with you what I've learned while I was a student
in Medina to Manoa. I was there for nine years, and that was
definitely the best part of my life,
and we had a young teacher, and he said to us one day, the problem
with the Muslim ummah is not that they've got bad intentions.
The problem with the Muslim ummah is that they've got no intentions.
And
he made an example,
and I really benefited, and I'm sure that you will also benefit.
He says, if the the father and the husband goes out in the morning
every day with a good intention that is going to earn Halal income
to please Allah, to make sure that his wife and his children eat
halal, to support the masjid, to one day to go for hazI and his
wife, or one day, send his mother and father for Hudson. These are
the intentions. Listen to this. My teacher said, then Allah will
reward you for every day that he worked. We are missing out if
there's no intentions. He says, If a mother or a wife does the
cooking at home to please Allah
and and, you know, most of what our wives does at home, and she
does it for the place of Allah and to make a husband happy and the
children happy, Allah will reward for everyday cooking and whatever
she does at home. He said to us, you as students, if you come to
university with the intention that one day you're going to make a
difference. You can serve Allah's Deen, you can serve humanity, then
Allah wills reward you for every minute sitting in class.
So let me now make my point of impact, and that is
make intention that you and your spouse and your children
are going to make a difference in this world. That must you be
intention.
You know that you're not just going to be a mediocre couple
under the ordinary the ordinary mediocre couple. You got married,
he makes his salah. He reaches Quran. He reaches Quran,
he buys a house, motaka, all these things, but that's all that's
mediocre.
Be an extraordinary family and couple that's going to make a
difference in this world.
And please don't forget the second part of this important Hadith,
this amazing Hadith, WA in namali, kulimri, whatever you've intended
for Allah will grant you will achieve.
So if your intention is that you and your family, you and your
spouse and children, to make a difference, you will make a
difference. Make intention
that you are going to establish a family that is going to be loved
by Allah, Allah, just imagine you are a family that is loved by
Allah, known by Allah. And I'm reminding again of the second part
of the Hadith. If that is your pure intention, Allah will grant
that Allah will love you and your whole family.
The second positive and meaningful thing that I want to share with
you today is what was said by ustas Amir Khalid from Egypt. AMR
Khalid is a civil engineer by profession, but he's also a caller
to Allah.
He says the rest of the world
is most probably superior
and more dominant over us in the fields of agriculture,
manufacturing,
education systems and so forth. But we, as Muslims, he says, Amr
Khalid, have a miser. What's a miser A distinctive feature that
we still possess, and that is a strong family structure.
We still have that utmost respect to our mothers and our fathers.
Most of the Muslims all over the world, we still have that sila to
Rahim, that strong family relations.
He goes he goes further to say, yes,
it is most probably true to say that we have some downgrade and
decline, but we are still superior to the rest of the world in this
regard.
And then he says to all of us, so please hold on to this miser, this
distinctive feature of strong family ties. So my dear ones, I.
Out of this conference,
let us all make an intention on or an impact to those around us and
to the whole world by establishing strong families and to Uncle Idris
and brother Sajid.
Why don't we start our own TV series of Family Matters? I'm sure
that we will do much better than Urkel and his group.
My dear ones, please allow me to go back to the issue of what this
conference is all about. Yes, it's about strengthening ourselves and
our families and to secure happy families in happy homes.
And how do you achieve all of this?
Just last week, I bought a book written by John C Maxwell, and
listen to the title,
everyone communicates. Few Connect.
I'm going to repeat the title, everyone communicates, few
Connect.
This is deep and it is real, and it is happening,
for example, in the context of our families, everyone in the family
communicates, but only a few connect, really. And
one of the headings in this book,
John C Maxwell's, one of his headings, connecting can make you
or break you. And another statement, he says, connecting can
either
the other. Other statement is, people cannot succeed. Cannot
succeed in life without communicating effectively.
So let us just pause here for a few moments
and think deep and internalize these two statements
connecting can either make or break your family.
And the other one is people can cannot succeed in life without
communicating effectively.
In today's fast and furious world, we don't make time to connect and
communicate with our own children.
In fact, we allow other foreign elements and other foreign people
to connect and communicate with our children.
Recently, I saw a video, and I'm maybe many of you saw it, a young
boy of about 1213, years old. He smashed and destroyed everything
in the house
because his mummy took away his phone,
the same phone that his mother gave him, gave him since the age
of two years old.
And that is so frightening in passing, I would like to say that
I am extremely worried about this challenge, and
I'm referring to our young kids, as young as one and a half years
old, given a phone,
and again, brother Sajid and Uncle Therese, I'm so sorry to call on
You again, but maybe you should initiate and bring the brilliant
minds of the International Muslim community together to find
solutions.
My dear ones, we agreed that today we're just going to be positive,
because positive words give us hope and makes us feel good.
And so my third productive and positive input today I want to
share with you is in a form of a question,
why don't we just adopt
and follow the example of Rasulullah and his family?
Salallahu sallam,
for example, our dear and beloved mother said na Aisha, ragila,
Anna,
she informed us that whenever Rasulullah returned home,
Rasulullah will give her all all his attention.
And we've heard so many times today the NABI Muhammad would
love. With Hagar would be romantic with her, speak to her, make her
laugh. That was Rasulullah sallallahu, alaihi wasallam.
And she says, But, but when it comes closer to the walk of Salah,
it is as if rasulallah don't know me, and I don't know Rasulullah
sallallahu, Sallam Asmaa. So giving attention. Do you know
what, what? What really is the meaning of giving attention?
It basically means making that person feel that he or she is so
important, so special.
So and valued,
you know, myself and sharfaan and one of the haligui. About five
years ago, we went to George,
and then we went again in after covid. And
there was a brother Nazir. He told us a beautiful story about his
love affair.
They had the shop in horse the Austin. He was about 19 years old,
and this young, 15 year old Christian girl came into the shop,
and it was love at first sight. And he said to an Afrikaans evil
Samad yotro, I want to marry you. And it's a long story, but
Alhamdulillah, si became najuwa, and they got married and beautiful
children, and they went to George.
And unfortunately, in covid, she passed on. He came to he came
about a year, year and a half ago, back to Cape Town. He told me,
Sheik, it's difficult for me to overcome the death of my wife. I
love this so much. The first year anniversary, I bought a rose, pink
rose. Second year, two roses. 10th year, 10 roses,
he says. Now, just recently, it would have been our 42nd
anniversary, I bought 42 roses, and I went to the cupboard to put
it in her cupboard. But I actually what I want to say is he said to
me, Sheik,
I treated my wife as a queen.
I treated my wife as a queen. Now I'm happily married for 43 years,
but I must admit it, it even had an impact on on me that I must do
better to my wife, walai. I swear by Allah. Not
long after that, I went to Egypt and to Yemen, and I'm sharing,
sharing with you some very personal stuff,
but I think it is worthwhile. I first went to Yemen, I said to my
son, Muhammad Zainuddin, is studying in Yemen in front of his
wife. Muhammad Zainuddin, one of the reasons why I came to Yaman is
to tell you that you must treat rafika as a queen. I went to
Egypt. I did the same with my son, studying in Egypt, Abdullah.
Abdullah in front of wasima. I just want to the one of the
reasons why I came to Egypt is to tell you treat your wife as a
queen. So to all the men here today, shall I treat your wives as
queens?
Ja, so everyone in our family needs to be needs a lot of
attention.
In other words, make them feel important and valued and respected
and very, very special, including our children.
Allow me also to remind that there's a key word in marriage,
and that is the word mutual
so for a successful marriage, we need mutual love, mutual respect,
mutual consultations,
but, but the new one that I want to come to is mutual attention
giving.
So it mustn't only be from the husband so. So at this crucial
moment, I want to say to the to my sisters
that and now I speak as a husband and a man. We, as men, we love a
lot of attention,
and sometimes we don't get it.
We just love to be made special and valued and important and
loved.
So if the husband says, My dear sister, darling, I have a severe
headache today,
please don't tell him the pain tablets is in the cupboard.
What, what he actually wants is he wants you to put his head on your
lap and take your magical hand and rub on his forehead and Pacha
Salawat, Allah masala, that is actually what he wants.
I was told by my mother that my grandfather, when he went, when he
went to the barber, and he comes back, and my my grandmother
doesn't take note or say anything, then my grandfather's very upset,
and I must, I must admit that I am the same. Uh,
my dear ones, we are still, I've got five minutes left. We are
still with the with the idea of copying the household of
Rasulullah Salla Salam anasibili Malik
SubhanAllah. His mother was one of the most brilliant mothers in the
world. When Rasulullah came to Medina, she said, Ya rasulallah,
you are so special. But there's nothing that I can give you, Ya
Rasulullah, except for my son, annas. He's 10 years old. If you
would accept that, he would serve you. Ya Rasulullah, Subhana Allah
and Anna sibini Malik stayed for 10 years in the House, in the best
house in the world. I.
But the point I want to make is Anna sibili Malik says
that in the never, in the 10 years did the NABI Muhammad listen to us
and raise this voice upon me in saying, for example, why did you
do this? Or why did you do what I've asked you to do? Never in the
10 years that is a household of Rasulillah, that is what we need
to follow in doing with our children. You don't need to shout
with your children.
The fourth and second last positive advice that I want to
share to you today, beloved mothers and fathers and sisters
and brothers,
please go out of your way to teach your children the best of manners
and behavior and character.
Audin is all about beautiful character.
You know, to me, one of the most favorite Ahadith, and I hope you
can remember it to the rest of your lives that the NABI Muhammad
said in namabu,
di
utammi, ma, ma, ma, sent me to this will, as the Prophet of Allah
is to complete the best of character.
And rasulallah also says that the people closest to me on the
devkiyama in Jannah, are those people at the best of character?
So I want to tell you mothers and fathers and young mothers and
young fathers. Children are children, and they will repeat the
mistakes, but you need to be consistent. For example, my tongue
doesn't allow me, but, but, but, but this is a real example. I, for
example, I don't allow my children to say if I ask him a question,
Did you do your homework? Yes, no, you must say, yes. Abi,
did you do this? Yes. Abi, did you know, abi? If, even if he says 100
times, 1000 times, abi. Abi walai, you can ask my wife. I don't allow
them.
But I notice around me that many, many mothers and fathers allow the
children to speak like that. You know, one of the
school inspectors here in Cape Town, he told me recently, Sheik,
I appreciate my mother and my father so much. They consistently
reminded me that I must honor them when I speak, Yes, mummy, Yes,
daddy, Yes, mummy, Yes, daddy. So please take that lesson home. And
one of the one of the great qualities of Rasulullah Muhammad,
was always alert of what is happening. So we are so busy as
mothers, mummies and daddies, that we are so busy that we don't think
really note of that important aspect and part of the lives of
our children.
So coming back to the Hadith Rasulullah says that the people
closest to me in Jannah are those people with the best of character.
So I want to almost promise you that if you and your your spouse
and your children have the best of character. You as a family will be
the closest to Rasulillah Saul in Jannah. I end off
to the last example of positiveness, and that is this was
the household of Rasulillah soon after salatul Isha, the NABI
Muhammad and his family would go rest and go sleep, and
that is not happening in our homes. This conference is about
making a difference and making an impact and a change in our lives,
and the focus is Fajr. How can you expect to have a successful
family, and you and your family, or maybe you alone, but your
family honored up for Fajr Salah, such an important time to speak to
Allah. And the other solution, this is a this is solution,
actually, to to a major problem. The one of the major problems is
you as a father and mother, you go to your room, you go and sleep,
and your child, your young daughter or young son, goes to he
his room with a phone.
And you know how damaging it is in the mohadad? You know there's a
book written many years ago, our fortresses are threatened from
inside.
We always we, as mothers and fathers, we just want to protect
our children, but you giving a device for your child that will
actually destroy him. And I think we must be a bit more decisive and
uncompromising that after Isha, when your child go to sleep, I'm
going to take in your phone, and you can have it tomorrow. You can
have it tomorrow. Again, I'm over my time. It was a great honor to
be here. May Allah grant us, as we've met here today, that Allah
grant us to meet in Jannah. Wasallah Muhammad, Alhamdulillah,
mean.