Ebrahim Bham – Contemporary Challenges in Parenting

			And hungria
		

			Alhamdulillah Allah,
		

			Allah
		

			was salat wa salam O Allah say Gambia even more serene, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa seldom at the
Sleeman
		

			kathira mavado
		

			Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem
		

			fossa Kumar Li canara Sarah Hello,
		

			my dear respected elders and brothers.
		

			The one of the greatest joys in this world is the joy of children.
		

			To have children is one of the greatest joys of this world to have
		

			those people who are our sons and our daughters growing up in front of us, and we are national and
our dynamic on our children the coolness of our eyes inshallah.
		

			inshallah Allah wa sallam used to say with regard to children, they are the flowers of Allah, Allah
Subhana Allah and there is no doubt that it is them and those who do not have children, Allah
subhanho wa Taala fill their houses with children also in Sharla.
		

			And together with them being the great joy they are also a great responsibility now via Karim
savasana met tremendous love for his children and his grandchildren. And allow Thomas one Hadith I
never saw anyone or a hammer. Be Ali he made Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam I never saw anyone more
loving to his families in Libya Kareem Salah haleiwa salam, O Allah Allah tala Kenya moto
messageboard Marina mata hamara Nabina Allah, Allah cave, full Chi lake and Nima Casazza
		

			together with a joy that they bring their great responsibility Allah has placed a very great
responsibility upon parents with regard to fulfilling the rights of the upbringing of the children.
And yes, there is also the rights of the parents upon the children and one day we will make mention
of it. But today we are talking about the responsibility of parents towards the children. That is
why when we find that the Ambien was Salatu was Salam whenever they made.
		

			You will see Allah has mentioned it in the Holy Quran. They made to are not only for children, they
made to our four pious children
		

			as a primary Salatu was salam wa is in the 23rd so part of the Quran Robbie hubballi mina Salim
Allah give me Sally. He didn't say only give me Allah He didn't say only give me children cola give
me Sally. Give me a right here children,
		

			has said Zachary
		

			Dwyer is mentioned in the third use of the Holy Quran. Probably will lead him to return to UVA.
Allah grant me from your site do return. Not only do Ria, he didn't say only give your children the
honor give me a tape and pure children. Emilio Salatu was Salam Miss Nasir or Larkin yet Joachim
lekan, Nicola kadowaki. And this is something that we have to keep in mind. And now, pious children
don't just come like that they are not born pious. Children are not born pious. Children are not
born right? Yes.
		

			You have to make dua you have to put into play strategies to be able to make them pious.
		

			They don't just become pious like a quick 101 a panco. Better than a water no one does get good
becomes a valley and he is born like that. So children are not born. right yes or pious. There has
to be an effort made from the parents to be able to give them values and righteousness. But chip
theodicy torpor Mata Ki or Nick neotel, on Connect banana Kalia to do jihad koshish or turkey
appnana fertile. Now in this particular regard, one of the greatest responsibilities upon parents
with regard to children and that is a Muslim responsibility is to preserve the human.
		

			The greatest responsibility of Muslim parents is to preserve the image of each other, especially in
this day and age of doubt, and skepticism, and so many different fitness that come from different
quarters. The greatest responsibility upon parents is to preserve the amount of children you know,
and what how can I give you a better example than what Allah has made mentioned in in the first part
		

			The Quran
		

			salatu salam, I'm condoning Shahada it Hydra jacoba mode. This is the way Allah Allah mentions in
many places Allah tala speaks about this in the Holy Quran, a way you present when jacobellis salat
wa salam was dying when you present
		

			and this is the situation where you present subsidiaries in Medellin Medallia care but choke a
monkey he has a current. Now look at this. He is a nephew of Allah.
		

			Allah Quran makes mention of this method of really telling us something Yeah, a positive tip jacoba
Serato Salam appname magnetic curry, genuine ta whose work told me Chaka Chaka What did he tell his
children? He's a color liban he Mata abou Unum embody a mehrabad kiski Baraka Who will you worship
after me? Now if sometimes I think y'all know Do we ever give thought to this? Who is your company
salatu salam, his father was exactly salat wa salam. His grandfather was the Prime Minister that
wasallam father Navy, grandfather Navy,
		

			his son Yusuf alayhi salatu was Salam Nabi three or four generations maybe. And he's asking his
children who are you going to worship after me? home so it's been a certificate of net Barack Obama?
Yes. Mr. Jacob kiski barack obama but we can't even think with regard to a parent whose father was
an MP whose grandfather was an MP whose son is gonna be he's asking his children who are you going
to worship after me to show you how important
		

			Eman is
		

			in ours in this situation? What we will do is interesting humahuaca a person was on his deathbed. So
you know, yeah, America, you know, he must have been like us all the time in business. Yeah, we all
the time. We are in business. We like our business well person called, you know, he was on his
deathbed. So before his death, he had three children. So he started calling his children whose man
were you smoking? Uncle honey, where are you Abdullah? Mohammed, Mohammed Cain. Now they're all
thinking that the Father is about to die and therefore he wants to give us some this year this year
Karnataka to after he said every three, three years he said yes all three a year. He says all three
		

			are you are using the show up you happier to cut percona hamari Allah, Allah tala hamcrest. But can
you imagine what the situation is about jacobina salatu salam does our concern remotely compares or
matches the concern has at jacoba salatu salam had with regard to his children. Our concerns in this
and our effort in this regard, not inadequate with regard to the spiritual upbringing of our
children. Allah tala in the Holy Quran says what
		

			it was to be Rania command your family members to perform salata, you also be steadfast opponent
lanessa Lucretia, we don't ask you about there is no naruko Carla says we will give them risk apnea
but chokyi tarbiat. Carry a mask or a jacket risca taluka hambone chorister in Arcadia setting it
can Allah tala dengan and uttara says I will give them risk. Your responsibility is to see that to
give them a proper upbringing. Do we ever consider this? Have you ever considered this? That is also
one of our responsibility? validation cannot say, Jessica when can
		

			you sit around ki Rouhani or copper one serrana Joby Bay hatchery hair or year while it in Kissimmee
Daria mercy Hamza Medallia
		

			and how can I make mention of this? I mentioned this many times. It's such a beautiful incident. So
Fiona Sonia Rahmatullah Lee has mentioned it as a multi service approach. As mentioned in this
module for the desert Yusuf alayhi salatu salam. After Jacobo a Salam came to know that young Yusuf
Alayhi Salam is alive, *, *, Alka Barranco patella kimera
		

			toe. Qui Laker is the one who brought the good tidings, your son Yusuf is alive. So Jacobo a salat
wa salam said How is my son?
		

			Mira use of case I
		

			took this in a car water missile kabocha He is the king of Egypt. Ha ha ha water missile kabocha?
He's the king of Egypt to iacobelli salaam Nikki aka I'm not asking you where there is a king of
Egypt or not. I'm asking you how is the modern
		

			man a petrochemical kabocha Mia puja Okey. Okey Mancha, Kahala. This is how we are supposed to be
with our children do we give our children that particular type of as as parents who look after the
material needs of our children. We also need to look after the spirit.
		

			means. Now a few tips. We don't have much time. So I'm going to make it short. few tips with regard
to parenting in today's time. One of the greatest things for parents today is to be able to
understand the challenges our children are going through. We can never be able to be good parents,
if we don't understand the challenges our parents, our children are going to what what we went
through in our life, what we went through when we were children, and the challenges we had. It's not
even a fraction of the challenges our parents in the present age children and youth are going
through, especially those who are youth, they are going through a situation of identity crisis, they
		

			are going through a situation where they face so many different types of temptations. temptations is
on the on the hands, they can access the worst type of vulgarity at the tap of a button, they can
get all of this without going out in the open, they can do it in the in the darkness of their own
room, in the privacy of their own room, we need to understand the challenges our children are going
through. Stephen Covey has made mention of it. First, seek to understand before you are understood,
if you don't understand the challenges, you will not be able to deal with the challenges of our
children. So what are the first thing is we have to understand that someone has given a very
		

			beautiful example, our India in South Africa, our mobile numbers are 10 digits. in UK they are 11
digits. Now if you got 10 digits, nine digits or right, one digit is wrong. When you get through to
the number you're looking for, you won't get through. In a similar manner. If you don't understand
your child. If you are 90%. There, you don't 100% you're not going to get through to your child,
you're not going to get through to your youth. Now in this in parenting in today's time, you know,
I've done workshops on this. I've spoken to people with regard to I've done hours on this particular
subject, right in different parts of the world and workshops. And one of the things is the people
		

			who do guarantee this area for ways of parenting. I'm gonna cut it short for myself, free rein
controlling authoritarian, right. permissiveness and free rein slightly vary, you know, similar to
one another. One is permissiveness, you don't worry about the limits, what they do, they are
children, they must grow up, they must find their own way. That is permissive. free reign, on the
other hand, is slightly different ethics as a choice, you take the route that lesson I'm going to
demonstrate whatever they want, I give them permission to do what they want.
		

			That is another another way of parenting is control. You want to control each and everything of the
behavior. And another one is authoritarian. You do what I say you must do. You got no say whatsoever
with regard to the situation. Just do whatever I'm what I say you must do. The previous way of
parenting, let's face it 50 years ago, 60 years ago, that was the way of parenting children must be
seen. They must not be heard. They must just do what the parents say. By and large in today's time,
that doesn't work. By and large, it creates a false sense of authority, because they do things
behind your back, then they will not be able to openly deal with you with regard to the challenges
		

			with regard to the questions with regard to the doubts with regard to what they are doing. So you
think everything is good many times is not good. It might work in certain times. I give you an
example. Right. by us. It was Tammy Rahmatullah Lee, very amazing. Brooke right. Very great. His
mother, his father passed away. He told by a sick mother came to leave him by a very great chef, by
a very great booster. You give my child a proper Islamic upbringing and education, and only send him
back after he's completed his education. One day biosuit Rahmatullah Allah was free. So he said, I'm
going to visit my mother. He came to his mother's house, he knocked on the door. Mother said Who is
		

			it by?
		

			Mother said which buyers a con buyers? I don't know any buyers, many patient advocacy buyers eco
buyers Ito America, men are on quota Talon
		

			Talon parameter
		

			until he doesn't complete his studies, he doesn't come back. I don't know anybody has a bias. He got
the message. He went away, came back after he completed his studies into this time we can do that.
You know, I was recently reading moved to Texas money was, you know, writing a critic and a review
on the life of as a shepherd he hasn't won as a carrier sobre la la, how his parents and how his
father treaty treated him and how his father's made the therapy.
		

			In that review, Mitch mentioned that in today's time, many times, if parents were to adopt this
particular method of therapy, perhaps the children won't be able to bear it. I'm not saying is that
right if it happens Alhamdulillah but by and large, three
		

			The situation is slightly different, because of the pressure and the different types of trials and
temptations, we have to have balance and the key word in this particular regard is bad balance. And
this is very important. For example, many times we use the situation is it too much of discipline is
not good. Right? If you make too much of discipline, you will the children will revolt. Yes, it is
true. Sometimes you make too much of discipline you too hard upon the children, they will revolve.
Allah in the Quran says if you are harsh, and you are too strict, they will turn away against you,
they will dissipate from you. But too little discipline is also not right. So how do you get the
		

			balance, not too much discipline, not too little discipline, some of the, you know, they've given
this example of a wet bow. So, a wet bow so to keep it loose need to fall out of your head and a wet
bow. So cookie due to lack of too tight it also.
		

			If you too, have your to do perhaps lose your children, if you too soft also you will lose your
children. Children are like budding plants, the way children budding plants, you protect it from the
elements in a similar manner, you protect your children from the elements and the environment to the
best of your ability. So important thing is with regard to and perhaps what I would suggest
nurturing with limits, you negotiate with them and said, See, I will give you limits. You can do
this much. You have to study for so many hours you can do with your technology for so many hours.
But then what happens that it gives them a certain degree of independence. But also there is limits.
		

			It is frightening for a child to grow up without limits without discipline. So the balance, the
balance of getting nurturing with limits. This is something I'm suggesting in the short period of
time, we can say and one important point I will always say and I think it's very, very important
that we keep this in mind. Punishment suppresses behavior, discipline changes behavior. Punishment
suppresses behavior. It doesn't change behavior, and discipline, nurturing, giving tarpeian changes
behavior. We don't want to punish for the sake of punish. We want to change behavior. Sasa bakasana.
Yes as our Sangha Ravi Yoko de vida de or Zapata, Raja Yoga,
		

			Jaime apne, choco banana sasani, Donna. So through the means of punishment, you suppress behavior,
and through the means of discipline you change behavior. Today, you can insulate your children from
the tiles. You can be they can, you know, no one I've known of parents, who they said we were so
strict with our children, we didn't allow them this we didn't allow them that after we came to
realize what they pocket money they went to go buy the same thing that I was trying to save them
from. So today, a situation in which you can isolate or insulate your children, you must inoculate
them. You can insulate to isolate your children in your pupil aid them from the challenges that they
		

			are facing. And a very important point I would like to make children no matter how they are three
children will think that they are very, very free and a very independent children need affirmation
and validation. Children need affirmation and validation. That is why you see children throwing
tantrums. Whenever you don't give any attention to the child what he does, he throws a tantrum. Why
does he throw a tantrum, children love affirmation. They love to be recognized. They would love to
be recognized as naughty children.
		

			They're not to be recognized as children. You will see it in your in your baby with your own
children, your grandchildren. If you don't give them time, you don't give them attention, they will
throw a tantrum, why they are throwing a tantrum, because they want attention, they want validation,
they would rather be affirmed and they would rather be looked upon with affirmation and validation
as noted children then to be ignored. So we have to give them information and validation. You have
to give them give them enough love. Even if they do something that is wrong. you criticize that
behavior, you tell them that is wrong. But my one line might be respect to others. Never leave your
		

			children without love. Never leave your children feeling that they are alone. Never leave your
children feeling that they are discarded. Never leave your children feeling that they are not wanted
by their parents. Because if they get love from somewhere else, from a bad friend, or someone who
comes from opposite gender, they are going to forget because we have not given them sufficient love,
they will go there. You have to give them enough love. And even this whole aspect with regard to
peer pressure, which we see is one of the greatest challenges of children. Those who are self
confident, those who have got love for their parents, inshallah they would be able to survive peer
		

			pressure. If you have not given them love. You have not given them information. They will be they
will going to succumb to peer pressure.
		

			So, this is a very important point, but to say up there last mahapatra zakharova Yamanashi hypno
therapy in the hunnic kawhia concept they had Mahabharata na Manasa cheese okay Johanna up massaman
curry. It is a little
		

			delanco me upset behold.
		

			After may 2008 hired by my manager Pooja Suma has given an ayat of the Holy Quran, who emphasized
kumala coonara save yourself and your family members from the fire of Jana who said Miss Alma data,
Allah tala tala tala says save your children from the fire of jahannam How do you save your children
from the fire of Jannah? Allah Allah, Allah tala Samus, Allah never let anyone come through such a
situation. But Misaki for example, you are driving home, all of a sudden you see smoke coming from
your from your area, etc. It must be someone's house, or maybe the the debris that is burning, maybe
the the the debris that is burning the trash that is a spring to come through. So you realize, no,
		

			this is perhaps very close to my house, you start getting worried maybe it is my house, then you
come back and you see your house on fire. And then immediately you start thinking you're worrying
about your children and your wife, etc. You come home and you see and you go through the police
report and you go to the court and they say no, you say this is your house, they allow you to go
through. You said hamdulillah got three children. You see your two children on the street? Who said
hamdulillah Can you see what about my third child?
		

			What about my third child and you see and you think that your third child is in the house? What will
be your situation at that time? I know what I will do. I will sacrifice my life to where do I take
the child away from them. Take that example. And now look at the iron ore believers save your
children from the fire of
		

			that urgency you have in such a situation the same in great urgency must be to save our children
from the fire of Jannah. May our children be the coolness of our eyes. Today the greatest time of
our generation today for parents is with regard to our children. May Allah Allah protect and
preserve our children. They will be protected if we have the proper love, and we show them kindness
and we show them that we are for them. But this is a great test trial. And brothers This is what we
have to do and continuous making to our Nivea cream sauce limit said three people's doors and that
so the reject one of them is a parents do offer the children and that
		

			I mean shala sub milker II Allah keep our children protected and preserve the man and keep them
right and make them the coolness of our eyes.